1

Remote Control

It hadn't been a good day for Naruto. Well, it rarely was, but that didn't mean it didn't still make him depressed.

"Damn teachers, damn villagers, damn Sasuke, dammit!" he yelled, followed by a punch to the tree that he was using to train.

He hated how the villagers looked down upon him. He hated how his existence was ignored. He hated how he could never impress Sakura-chan because Sasuke-teme was always better than him. But more than anything, he hated his own powerlessness.

"HAH!" he yelled as he roundhouse kicked the tree with as much force as he could muster.

Though it was at that moment that by coincidence, a gust of wind also blew by him. The branches on the tree shook slightly because of the wind, and Naruto's kick augmented the vibrations as well, knocking loose a shiny black rectangular object, making it fall directly on the blond's head.

"Ow!" Naruto exclaimed as he rubbed the sore spot on his head and looked at the object menacingly. "What the hell!?" he said, picking up the weird thing that fell onto his head.

It was shiny and sturdy but didn't feel like metal. Naruto observed the thing and he judged that it looked like a remote control to a TV he had seen in one of the Dango shops around town.

"What is this?" he spoke to himself as he pressed something that looked like a button. Naruto turned it around and observed it, but nothing happened. He pressed the button a couple more times with an inquisitive look.

Disappointed at the lack of activity from the remote, he held it up in the sunlight to see if it would maybe react.

And it was at that moment that Naruto's jaw dropped.

"EH!?" screamed, nearly dropping the remote as he looked at a bird in the sky. Now, just a bird in the sky wouldn't be too surprising, however, this specific bird that Naruto was looking at was just... There. Floating in the air without moving its wings, or head, or tail.

"Can I pause birds!?" Naruto exclaimed as he looked at the remote in his hand.

He quickly pointed it at the bird and pressed the button. And as if a movie had started playing again, the bird as well started flapping its wings as it soared through the air.

"Whoaaa!" Naruto said as he looked at the bird with stars in his eyes.

He had to go and try this in the village!

...

Naruto burst through the foliage surrounding the village as he quickly made his way back to the apartment. Using a secret entryway he had discovered, the blond climbed up to the terrace of his building and started looking for more birds.

"Ah, there!" he spoke to himself as he pointed his remote control towards it and pressed the button.

Once again, like a movie, the bird stopped in mid-air.

"COOL!" he yelled excitedly, before realizing he might've been a bit too loud and waited for the eventual shout from someone telling him to shut the hell up... But it never came.

Wait a second. Now that he thought about it, the village seemed so quiet. Too quiet.

Naruto walked over to the edge of the roof as he leaned over the railing and looked down.

The blond's eyes slowly widened at the scene in front of him.

There were people... But they just weren't moving. And it wasn't like everyone just stopped walking. The villagers were literally mid-walk and they had just frozen.

"No way," Naruto said at the dawning realization. "I can pause the people too when I point it at birds!" the blond exclaimed as he jumped up and down in excitement. "This is so cool!" he said, his mind reeling at the endless possibilities.

Naruto could barely contain his excitement as he thought about how great his pranks could become now. And so that was exactly what he did first using his newfound ability.

...

"Hehehe," Naruto chuckled evilly as he looked at his masterpiece.

In front of him was that one shop that he hated with all his being. He still remembered that day when all he wanted was to buy a mask so he could prank his friends. But the shop owner had been so incredibly rude to him and had even hurt him by throwing the mask at him.

Now, he had finally gotten his revenge.

Naruto had stolen a few cans of paint from a store and he had basically emptied them inside and outside the shop, dyeing the interior and exterior of the shop with the most hideous colours possible. Then, he had snuck into the Inuzuka compound and collected all the dog feces and he had spread it out all around the back room of the shop, basically ruining all of the products in the shop.

Finally, Naruto had taken the spray paint that he had and sprayed the word 'demon' in every empty spot he could find, including on the shop owner himself.

And now, it was time for Naruto to enjoy the reactions.

He perched himself up on one of the rooftops across the shop, found a bird that was in the air nearby, and unpaused it.

The normal noises and the bustling of the Konoha market street resumed once again but instantly died down.

"What the hell!?" came the loudest shout Naruto had ever heard and he struggled to control his laughter as he saw the shop owner looking around, absolutely baffled at what had just happened to him.

Naruto quickly found another bird in the air and paused it so that he could laugh loudly at what he had witnessed. Truly, payback was amazing!

...

It was nearly ten hours later that Naruto got back home after he had finished pranking everyone who had done wrong by him, but he couldn't help but notice that looking at the clock in his house, not even fifteen minutes had passed. And weirdly enough, he didn't feel tired either!

So Naruto decided to do something he had always wanted to do.

Once more, with time paused the blond set out towards his destination.

...

Naruto quickly arrived at the Konoha Shinobi Library. He had thoroughly enjoyed the quiet walk. Now, he finally knew what it felt like to live without being scorned.

Without a single care in the world, Naruto waltzed into the library. With no one to stop him, he immediately made his way to the restricted section past the jonin guards who were frozen.

"YES!" he exclaimed as he saw so many super cool, super awesome jutsus for the taking.

Now, if Naruto was being honest, he didn't really like reading. In fact, he'd even say he absolutely loathed it.

But with hundreds, maybe even thousands of incredibly powerful techniques in front of him like this, he didn't care! He'd read all day long if it meant he could learn cool jutsus that he could use to beat Sasuke-teme!

And Naruto did just that. He picked up a scroll about a dangerous-sounding Katon jutsu and sat down to read it... Only to find out that he didn't really understand any of it. What the hell was chakra control and why did it need to be good? What were 'molecules'?

"The hell!? I don't understand this stuff!" Naruto said as he rolled up the scroll and put it back.

Maybe this one was just weird. He'd understand another one.

"Hmm," Naruto hummed as he picked up another one. "Fuuinjutsu: Volume 6," he read the title. It sounded boring but he reckoned it couldn't hurt to at least look at the table of contents. As Naruto unraveled the scroll more, his eyes widened at what he saw.

- Barrier Techniques
- Chakra Manipulation Techniques
- Contract Seal Techniques
- Sage Art Techniques
- Space-Time Techniques
- Tailed Beast Sealing
- Uzumaki Sealing Techniques
- Forbidden Techniques

Each and every technique that Naruto read sounded equal parts cool and dangerous, even though he didn't know what many of the things meant. What truly caught his eye, however, was the 'Uzumaki Sealing Techniques' chapter.

This was the first time he had seen his name anywhere and he wasn't going to let this chance go.

The blond quickly unraveled more of the scroll and skipped to the chapter that he was eager to find.

Naruto wanted to rapidly start learning techniques that allegedly belonged to his family, but yet again he found himself in another dilemma. He didn't know what these big words meant, dammit!

Irritatedly, Naruto threw the scroll on the floor as he glared at it. Why did he have to be so dumb!? He was almost about to indulge in his self-pity, but a sentence caught his eye.

Recommended prerequisites: Fuinjutsu Volumes 1 to 5.

It was then that it dawned on him.

The scroll in his hands was volume 6, and it was in the restricted jonin section of the library. Which meant that most of this stuff was super difficult and complicated. If Naruto wanted to understand this stuff, he would probably have to start studying the easier, more boring stuff.

As it sunk in, Naruto facepalmed. He was back at square one. The whole reason he wanted to learn the cool stuff was so that he wouldn't have to learn the boring stuff. But to learn the cool stuff was, he needed to know the boring stuff.

"Ah, dammit! I don't care anymore," he yelled as he rolled up the scroll he was looking at and put it back before sauntering out of the library.

He would become awesome just using the remote! He didn't need any boring stuff!

...

Naruto finally decided to go home so that he could unpause the world and go to sleep in anticipation of the next day's taijutsu matches. On the way home, he quickly snuck into one of the grocery shops that didn't allow him to enter and shoplifted a bunch of ramen and candy.

With a giddy look on his face, Naruto stocked up his strategic ramen reserves and his emergency candy stocks.

And now with all the items on his list finished, he finally decided to get some shuteye. Naruto pointed his remote at a bird from his window and unpaused the world before going to bed, blissfully unaware of the chaos and the mayhem that he had just caused in the village.

...

The next morning was a blur for Naruto. He had woken up super late but had quickly remembered his ability to pause the world and had done exactly that. He had pointed his remote at a fast-moving bird and used the ability, only to later realize that the 'bird' wasn't really a bird at all. Instead, it was a shinobi that was jumping from one rooftop to another.

That was when he had realized that he didn't really need to point the remote at birds at all. Hell, he didn't even need to take it out from his pocket. All he needed to do was press the damn button!

After that revelation, Naruto had taken his time getting ready and also had a filling breakfast of a whole two cups of ramen. Of course, to cook the ramen he had to unpause, but whatever. It only took him like five minutes anyway.

Finally, after getting ready, the blond was now at the academy in his seat. Reaching into his pocket, he pressed the button and the world moved again.

"HUH!?" came a shout from Kiba who was pointing and staring at Naruto as if he had just seen a ghost.

Naruto was startled at the sudden scream as he looked at Kiba confusedly. "What? What happened?" Naruto asked as many others also looked at him weirdly.

"You! You weren't there and then you were there!" Kiba exclaimed. "How did you do that?"

It was only then that Naruto thought about what he might have looked like to outsiders observing him. For them, it must have just looked like he was teleporting from place to place.

"Uh... Dunno," Naruto said with a shrug.

A few rows behind him, Shikamaru also narrowed his eyebrows a little bit. A phenomenon that he couldn't understand. Those didn't come by easily.

Naruto was saved this time though since Iruka-sensei entered the classroom exactly on time.

"Quiet!" he roared as everyone scrambled to get to their seats.

He quickly took attendance for the day, showing a little surprise that Naruto was on time. After that, the classes droned on, and staying true to his habits, Naruto fell asleep during Iruka's lecture.

"Naruto!" the chunin yelled, waking the blond up.

"Ah, it wasn't me!" Naruto said instinctively as he woke up from his slumber.

The entire class broke down in laughter as Naruto tried to get his bearings.

"Quiet!" Iruka said and the laughter died down. "Naruto, can you answer this question?" Iruka asked as he pointed to the topmost question on the board.

How many sections does a platoon generally consist of?

Naruto scratched his head as he didn't even know what the hell a section was. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sasuke smirk at him and Naruto's blood boiled. Dammit! The Uchiha was definitely laughing at him for this!

But sadly, no matter how much he tried, Naruto still didn't know the answer. But then it finally hit him!

He slid his hand into his pocket and pressed the pause button as he stayed perfectly still.

After pressing the button, he stayed motionless to make sure the world really was paused. When no one moved even a muscle Naruto finally sprang into action.

He immediately took out his textbook and flipped through the pages to find the chapter. Flipping through a few pages, he stopped as he remembered there was a much simpler way to do this. He could just look at the index!

Naruto quickly found the chapter about 'Shinobi Formations' and read it. It made his head hurt a little bit, but if this was a way to beat Sasuke and show Sakura-chan how awesome he was then dammit, he would power through it!

Finally, before he unpaused, Naruto took the chalkboard eraser from the front of the class and slapped it hard on Sasuke's head. He watched in astonishment as a lot of dust poofed out a little bit from the eraser, but instead of spreading around, it just stayed suspended in the air. It would move more when he unpaused, Naruto reckoned.

Putting the eraser back in its place and taking his seat exactly as he was when he had paused, Naruto unpaused the world and answered the question flawlessly.

"Yes, Iruka-sensei," he said, sitting up straighter. "A platoon usually has four sections. 1 section, 2 section, 3 section, and 4 section, but 4 section could also be the weapons detachment most of the time," he answered.

Iruka's jaw dropped at the perfect answer that Naruto had given him. The blond had completely surpassed his expectations! He was about to congratulate Naruto when a violent coughing noise caught his attention instead.

Iruka looked to the other side of the classroom, only to see Sasuke coughing and waving white dust from around his face and head.

Once again, the class erupted into laughter as they saw the Uchiha struggle to rid himself of the chalk dust on him.

"Shut it!" Iruka said once more to quiet the class down. "Sasuke-kun, would you like to go to the washroom to wash yourself off?" he asked.

Sasuke only subtly nodded as he stood up and excused himself. However, no one missed the look of absolute rage on his face. Naruto snorted at the scene which only served to get the entire class giggling again.

The rest of the school day passed relatively smoothly for Naruto as he stayed awake and paid attention sometimes in class, and used his ability to answer more questions when he fell asleep.

Finally, it was time for the taijutsu lessons and practice matches.

...

Naruto was practically shaking with excitement as the matches proceeded. Finally, it was time for his own, and just like every other time, Naruto was once again matched up with Sasuke.

An almost evil smile spread across his face as he imagined what he could do to the Uchiha.

"Next match: Naruto Uzumaki and Sasuke Uchiha. Step into the ring," Mizuki ordered.

"Ready to get beat, loser?" Kiba taunted from the sidelines.

However, Naruto was completely unfazed. He merely smirked as he pointed to Sasuke. "I would never lose to Dusty here," he said, making up a nickname for Sasuke.

Just like in the classroom, many kids once again erupted in laughter at the hilarious moniker while Sasuke gained a murderous look in his eyes. He swore he'd destroy the blond today. So much so that Naruto would never even think about looking at him wrongly again.

As Naruto and Sasuke entered the ring, Mizuki swung his arm down. "Begin!"

With speed far above what Naruto could follow, Sasuke launched himself and aimed a straight punch right at Naruto's mouth. He smirked as he just knew it would land perfectly and launch him out of the ring. But right as the haymaker was about to land, Naruto simply disappeared from view and a split second later Sasuke felt a sharp blow on his back, making him lose his balance and eat dirt as he slid out of bounds.

"YES! I won!" Naruto exclaimed, unable to contain his excitement at his first victory against the Uchiha.

The entire class was speechless at what they had just witnessed. It was as if Naruto was about to get blasted one second, and the next, he had just teleported behind Sasuke and kicked him in the back.

"W-What?" It was Choji that broke the deafening silence.

"That's the strength of the future Hokage, dattebayo!" Naruto cheered again as he looked at Mizuki to declare the match. "Sensei, I won, right!?" Naruto asked with stars in his eyes.

"Eh?" Mizuki said, confused out of his mind. How the hell had the demon brat moved so fast!? He couldn't even see him! "Y-Yeah," he said reluctantly. "Winner: Naruto," the chunin declared.

"WHAT!?" Sasuke's fangirls screamed as they started screeching about Naruto 'cheating'.

The blond, for his part, simply walked back to the sidelines as he threw a smug glance at a seething Sasuke. Today was a good day. No, it was a great day! And with this remote control, Naruto was sure every day was going to be just as great!

I got this idea from the manga called Time Stop Brave. The manga itself is much more... NSFW in nature than this story but leave a review letting me know whether I should make Naruto a pervert or nah.