Left Behind:

The Derelict is a quiet place for the most part. Almost eerily so. The only breaks in the silence are the random clacks far off on the other side of the ship where Guardians park their ships to sign up for Gambit. Skylar and her team were supposed to play today, but after the news they'd gotten last night, no one had felt like it. For once the Drifter didn't say a word about it, maybe because he knew they were all angry with him. Skylar certain was as she sat on her cot in her ship, staring at a wall.

When she'd agreed to work with him, it had been to work as partners - to share what might be coming, because he'd said he was doing all of this for a reason. He hadn't, and Skylar had thought it was because he didn't know. She'd been wrong, or rather, she'd been proven wrong when the Emissary of the Nine showed up and started giving her visions. First, they'd been about how the Drifter had gotten what his ship was pulling, a few things about the past Skylar had and hadn't known. She'd known he interacted with those who followed Dredgen Yor, that he was looking for the Man with the Golden Gun, Shin Malphur.

What she hadn't known was what the Emissary had shown him - why they had given him the chunk of whatever it was that his ship pulled. She'd seen something that had tickled at a memory, the same shapes she'd seen in the hidden chambers of the Queen of the Awoken. She hadn't understood what the strange triangle shapes had been that were shown via a holoscreen. She'd thought maybe it was just some weird Awoken thing, there were a lot of those after all. She had more important things to do anyway.

Now Skylar knew what they were – they were ships, and they were headed for Earth and the Drifter had known.

She'd told her team about it and then they'd decided to confront him last night. He had not been happy that his warning about the Emissary had been ignored, but he also knew he didn't really have a choice but to explain. He was powerful - she knew that - but he knew they were too and as much as he didn't want to admit it, he needed their help. So he'd told them.

Darkness. The ships were an entity of Darkness, if not the origin itself. He didn't know much, only that he knew he was supposed to use what he got from Gambit in order to help in some way or another. It was the only chance they had, he told them. They didn't have time to wait and see what would happen and the Vanguard couldn't know, not yet. They most likely wouldn't agree with his plan and try to shut it down.

The only good thing was that the enemy seemed to be pretty far off still, so they did have time.

Didn't mean they hadn't been angry at him, but maybe they should have known better. Corvan hadn't seemed all that surprised. Not much surprised the long-lived Hunter - well, not that he expressed outright anyway.

A tap on the wall near the lowered ship ramp had her finally moving her gaze from her unblinking stare. Z stood on the very edge of where the ramp met the ship, his head tilting and causing shaggy brown hair to shift. A silent question that had Skylar rolling her eyes and giving a small wave. He came in without a pause, tugging the hood of his cloak down as he plopped down to sit next to her a comfortable distance between them.

"Quiet the day, huh?" he grumbled, "I just spent the last hour convincing Noble to not strangle The Drifter. Not that I was tempted to help him. He left to go shoulder-charge his fellows in the Games."

Skylar snorted.

"At least he knows what makes him feel better." Rolling her shoulders, she looked at her friend. "I'm surprised you're not asleep." She knew how much he loved to nap when he could, but maybe he thought that he couldn't right now. Checking on friends as he was. "Any idea how the others are?" She felt guilty that she wasn't the one doing it – she was clan leader, not Z – but she'd had a lot to sort through. The solar Hunter sighed.

"I have no idea where Corvan went off too, or how we didn't hear his ship leave, but he's gone. Haar is… not indifferent but I guess he doesn't see the point in being angry about it when we have bigger problems." Like possible doom coming for them.

"How similar do you think their power is to the Hive?" she asked after a short pause. "I mean... as far as we know they worship it right?" Frankly, she'd always been a bit shaky on that. Xol - or Andal, or whoever - had spoken to her in more detail of Sword Logic and of a whisperer that had drawn the Hive in by his own people. There was something darker too though, something even the Worm Gods had bowed too.

"No idea," Z answered truthfully, and then paused for a moment. "That's uh… part of what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Oh?" Skylar tilted her head at him, curious. Z scratched at the back of his head, a nervous habit he'd always had that whipped any sense of something good being spoken. She knew from that one motion, she wasn't going to like what he said. He shifted slightly.

"The Drifter said they - or it, or whatever - was coming. These ships. But we don't know what they are or what they can do or even for sure how far away they are." That was true.

"Okay…"

"So I…" he blew out a breath. "I think someone needs to find that out. To see if they can ascertain anything, answer any of those questions." He didn't say it outright, but with the sudden cold in her gut and how well she knew her best friends, Skylar didn't need him to.

"You're leaving," she said quietly, not a question, a fact. It wasn't a who or they. It was him. Her chest snapped tight when he nodded slowly, whatever positive emotion he'd had on his face gone and replaced with the eyebrow pinch features of worry and stubbornness.

"I need to do this Sky… I just," he took in another deep breath and blew it out slowly. "I need some time to process everything that happened in these last few months. I haven't really given myself time." Because he'd been looking after her, were the unspoken words Skylar realized instantly. Shiro was the only one who'd been able to grieve properly with her. Guilt sliced through her like one of her own knives.

"I see…" she whispered, her hand clenching together in her lap. Every corner of her mind screamed at her to tell him to stay and to send one of their other clan members to find it. She needed him here, she needed him but… but she'd been needing him for months. She hadn't really given thought to how he must have felt all this time.

How could she possibly ask him to stay?

"Sky-"

"Then you should go," she cut in before he could say anything. He flinched slightly at her tone, as the cracking hidden under firm steel. She couldn't give him the smile she wanted to. "You're probably right, someone should look into it." She shifted slightly and the cot creaked. "If you need some time Z, that's completely understandable, I won't stop you."

"I knew you'd say that," he grumbled out, worry still deep in his jade eyes. "I wish I could tell you I'd changed my mind, but I don't do that very often. I need to go." He'd already said that, why did he feel like he needed to shove it in her face again. She nodded her head.

"When are you leaving?"

"In the morning."

She bit her lip.

"How long… will you be gone?"

His fingers scratched harder at his neck before he dropped his hand into his lap.

"I don't know… a few months maybe?" Months. The word panged through her and she forced herself to not react, forced that training she'd gotten as a Hidden agent to keep herself from losing it. Why did it feel like everyone she cared about left? "I'll be back," Z stated before she couldn't wheel too far down that train of thought. "I promise I'll be back, Skylar."

She gave him a weary look and then moved her gaze to the wall once more.

She hated promises sometimes, most times, like now.

Tevis had promised before he'd left on the mission that killed him that he'd show her something in Canada. Winter had told her they were going out on the town mere hours before the mission they'd been on with Tristan where both Skylar's friends had been thrown through a portal and never came back.

Cayde had promised they'd be going home right after helping Petra.

Why couldn't he just say he'd try his best and leave It at that?

"Just be careful," she said finally. She didn't know what else to say, to do. The only thing lashing out at him would do is make them both feel worse. She just felt so tired again, like the weight of his words were just simply too much. Maybe she'd been leaning too much on him and everyone else and now that someone was leaving, she had to bear more of her problems on her own.

A hand landed on her knee as her friend spoke again.

"You know I will be." He shifted on the cot slightly, the sharp squeak of protest stating once again that it wasn't meant to hold two people. "Look I…I have something for you." His admission finally had her looking away from her knees and his hand to meet his emerald eyes again. He smiled slightly and gestured for her to hold out her hand. She did so and he dropped something small and golden into it. She knew what it was instantly, mostly because it looked a great deal like his own, minus the blink red light.

An earring, a simple golden hoop.

As she stared at it bewildered – because Skylar didn't have pierced ears – Z started explaining.

"I had planned to give it to you on your birthday but, well, that didn't go as planned." Because Skylar had been on the Tangled Shore hunting Uldern on the day she'd been revived - four days after Cayde had been killed. "I thought about saving it for the Dawning but it seems like maybe now's a better time."

The Dawning.

Skylar didn't know what she was going to do about that holiday anymore. Thinking about it hurt too much. She'd gotten together with Cayde during that time and they'd spent every single one after that together. So many memories, and all of them felt like knives now as a slow twisting pain dug through her chest.

She was glad he hadn't waited, but still…

"My ears aren't pierced Z," she voiced her confusion, and her fellow Hunter just gave her a small grin, tilting his head.

"Yeah well, I figured I'd offer to help fix that, or if not… I don't know, you can do whatever you want with it. I'm giving it to you, it's not my choice anymore." He wrote it off as being something small but looking back at the gift she knew it meant more. It was almost corny, giving her something so close to what he had, like those bracelets down in the City that kids got. It was hardly something so simple though. Giving it to her now, when he was leaving, it was like giving her a reminder. Something to always remember him by.

It should have made her feel horrible, like he was saying goodbye forever, but strangely, it gave her hope. Much like the necklace Cayde had given her that pulsed with Solar light hidden under her armor. Something to give her strength, a little piece of her friend that would never leave her, every time she saw it. Skylar felt her lips twitch up in a small smile, some of the weight on her shoulders falling away.

"Thank Z," she said finally, meeting his eyes again, she plucked the jewelry up between two fingers and tilted her head. "So… where do you think we should put the hole?" she motioned to the uncovered ear where her hair was braided back. Z raised an eyebrow before he gave a small laugh and scooted closer, giving a show of thinking about it really hard.

Dork.

"Why don't we change it to a nose ring instead?"

She scowled.

"Z!"

He wiggled an eyebrow at her, and Skylar snorted, shaking her head as their joint laughter filled the air of her cockpit. The tension was gone in a heartbeat, just as it always was with them. Easy. Their friendship had always been so easy. Maybe that's why the idea of him leaving had hurt so much, but it was also why she couldn't make him stay. She let those thoughts fall away as they spoke, talking late into the night as if it were just another day in their lives.

Let goodbyes come later, for now, the present was all that mattered.

-Skylar-

Eighteen years. That's what the answer had been to Skylar's most recent bout of the world saying: fuck you.

Once they'd gotten back to the Tower – Zavala letting her set foot in it due to the circumstances – through a less-used route in the nearly silent Tower due to the time, they'd all piled into Zavala's office. Once Shiro and Shaxx had arrived, the next two hours had been spent figuring out exactly what had happened. After comparing timelines, it had been confirmed that eighteen years and a few stray months were missing from Cayde's memory. The last eighteen years.

Seeing as Cayde had finally calmed down enough from his rather reasonable freakout, they'd tried to fill in some of the basic blanks without overwhelming him too much. Why they were in a different Tower, how any of this had even been possible, on and on the list went. Skylar didn't say a word. She couldn't. She could hardly breathe through all of it.

Why?

Was this some kind of payback for everything she'd done? For crossing all of those lines? It seemed like Skylar wasn't allowed to have a happy ending, but maybe that was just the lot in life for guardians in general. It still felt personal.

With the meeting over by an hour now, Skylar stood at the entrance to the ship bay, watching Shiro and Cayde talk next to where he'd set up shop when he'd been on duty. The Hangar was empty and thankfully Amanda wasn't there. It had been decided that it was a good idea to not have many people know about this. Too much could go wrong and it would make things even harder on Cayde.

Skylar took a moment to really look him over, even though she'd been in the same room with him for hours, she'd hardly been able to let features really sink in through the hysteria in her head. Now that she too – for the most part – had calmed down for the moment, she let herself get a better look at who Cayde-6 had been before being an Exo.

He was blond - she'd already known that - but it was slightly lighter than she'd thought. Nowhere near Amanda's but not brown either. His haircut was like Z's but shaggier in the front and parted down the side. The only other feature that had stuck with her through this entire upset, was what had caused her to stupidly launch herself at him the moment she'd seen him. His eyes. They were the exact same color he'd had as an Exo, minus the robotic glow. Bright clear blue. She wondered if all Exos had their original eye color, and then thought about how Haar had white eyes and wasn't quite sure.

His skin was tanned, or at least darker than her own, and there was a white scar that started near his left ear and ran down across his jaw and into his throat an inch or so. It seemed Cayde's assumption about getting into trouble was probably right.

"I can give you fifteen more minutes," Zavala's hard voice had her twitching, but she'd expected it. She wasn't even supposed to be in the Tower and she appreciated that he was giving her the time he was. If the Consensus found out, he'd be in trouble and he wasn't her biggest fan anymore either. Z made an angry huffing sound from next to her, probably scowling at the Titan, but no words were exchanged.

"You don't have to do this now Skylar," he told her, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Maybe let yourself process this and talk to him later. We can just go get a drink or…" he trailed off as she shook her head. If she waited, she might not have the willpower to do it later. There was no telling when she'd see him again if he stayed in the Tower lodging.

"No, I… it's fine. I'll be back in a few." Pulling from him she started making her way into the room, her silent footfalls going unheard. Shiro was facing her, so he saw her first and after he finished whatever he was saying to Cayde, he raised a hand in greeting.

"Hey Sky," his words had Cayde – human Cayde, damn that would take some getting used to – turning to face her. He gave her a weary, trying smile. At least they'd managed to find some civilian clothes for him instead of the cryosuit he'd been in. Just jeans and a jacket, but it was something.

"You're Skylar, right?" he asked, looking a bit uncertain. Skylar tensed slightly at that, feeling something clench slightly in her chest. She let out a breath and smiled, forcing everything behind her Hidden trained mask.

"Yeah." She shifted her stance a bit, biting her lip. "I wanted to apologize for uh… what I did in the lab." Shit, that sounded so wrong. He should have held on to her, held her so tight because he knew her and…but he didn't. Cayde waved a hand slightly.

"Hey, don't worry about it, I get the feeling that, well," he paused rubbing at the back of his neck, fingers almost tentative against the hair there. "We must have been friends, right? I know I'm, erm, was your Vanguard leader but…" he sighed. "I guess I need to stop walking around the subject and just ask: who are you to me?"

She saw Shiro wince slightly, his eyes looking to hers for a moment as she slid her gaze away. That was the question, wasn't it? Every bone and cell in her body screamed at her to tell him the truth: we were in love, we were together, I was your girlfriend and maybe… maybe more.

But her mind knew better, even if all she wanted was for him to pull her close and take the chill off her skin that had been there for two years. She couldn't do it – wouldn't do it to him. He was already upset about so much, already had to deal with too much for anyone to handle properly. Finding out he had a steady relationship with someone he couldn't even remember and thus felt nothing towards? Would that help him at all? She didn't think so, it would be too much.

The hope that had grown at the prospect of having him back had shriveled into dust the moment he'd asked Ana how she was alive. She couldn't tell him the truth, at least not all of it. Maybe someday she could tell him, maybe... but no. Not now.

"I was your rookie," she said finally, looking back at him and reading the - much easier to see - emotional response of a human face versus an Exo one that held a stunned surprise.

"You mean…"

"Yeah," Shiro answered before she could muster one. "You personally trained her, well with some help from Tevis, anyway. I was too busy at the time to teach her anything about Blade Dance and you… well…"

The stunned expression didn't leave his face, but he did huff slightly. "Yeah, not that great at it. I know. Jack ass probably had a field day about it." Despite his words, his tone turned devastatingly sad for a moment, still wrestling with the truth that another friend from his close circle was gone. Skylar closed her eyes, that ache that was six years old from Tev's death was still there. She still missed him, probably always would since every time she used her Light it felt like he was watching her. She wasn't sure how she felt about her… discovery during the Black Garden raid.

"I can't believe I took a rookie," Cayde murmured, his eyes flashing over her. "How long have you been around?" I can't remember you, so it couldn't have been long , was the unspoken meaning. Skylar concentrated on that mask for a moment, at the smile she'd half dropped. Don't crack, not yet.

"About eight years now."

"Still pretty new then." He took a small step closer, peering at her, but still stayed a reasonable amount away. Comfortable. "I always told the guys I wasn't interested in that kind of thing. I wonder what it was about you that changed my mind?"

"I…" Skylar didn't honestly know. He'd always joked that it started off as just another way to get out of the Tower, but he could have done that with anyone.

"I can answer that," Shiro piped up and both she and Cayde looked at him. The Exo kicked up one hinge of his mouth. "I asked about it. You told me 'Something in her eyes was just waiting to spark to life and roar brighter than anything I'd ever seen', you wanted to make sure that happened." He shrugged his shoulders. "Plus, she openly mocked Warlocks and their jumping."

Shock rippled through Skylar at his words. She knew about the Warlock thing but the rest… no. She'd had no idea. The clenched part in her chest tightened once again. Cayde hummed, looking at her again.

"We must have been pretty good friends by the end of it. You hugging me is starting to make a lot more sense." He dropped his hand and sighed. "I'm sorry I can't remember you. Shit."

"It's alright." No, it really wasn't, but it wasn't his fault either. "It's not like you wanted it to happen."

"Yeah well… it still sucks – for both of us. I can't remember Amanda growing up either…" he looked over his shoulder to where his cloak hung in her workstation. "Wish I could tell her the truth, but I'm not sure it's a good idea."

"For now, it's probably for the best," Shiro agreed and Skylar nodded her head.

"Cayde!" Zavala's voice echoed across the area and Skylar tensed as they all looked at him. The big Titan was looking them over, arms crossed, a stern look on his face. She knew that look was for her. Cayde huffed.

"He'd never done, is he?" he grumbled, shifting his weight back and forth. "I guess I should go see what else he wants." He moved to walk away and Skylar winced before reaching out and grabbing his forearm before he could pass her. He flinched, surprised and raised a brow. Biting the inside of her cheek she used her free hand and reached for the holster on her left hip.

"Sorry just… I came over here to give you something… it belongs to you after all." Pulling the Ace of Spades from its spot felt like she was lifting a boulder as she held out the gun to him. Cayde's eye shot to it and something like relief passed over his features. He glanced from it to her, before taking the gun. It felt like he'd yanked on her soul, but she let it go all the same. The least she could do was give him something familiar to hold onto during all of this. He looked over the gun carefully, a thoughtful expression passing over his face. Mechanically, he spun the gun once before meeting her eyes.

"We really must have been close, weren't we? If you have this, that means I changed my will. Unless you killed me anyway, but I doubt that."

Skylar's lips twitched up in a sad smile. He didn't know the half of it.

"You were my best friend." Even more so than Z. Winter had once said if you were in love - if you were bonded to your best friend - it was a gift to never take lightly. "You were always there for me."

He stared at her, puzzled, wondering what he was missing. "We going to continue using the word 'were'?"

She winced. "I… well, you don't know me anymore."

"So?" he frowned at her. "Doesn't mean-"

"Cayde!" Zavala's voice was louder now and they both flinched. Skylar sighed.

"You should go," she murmured. He didn't look like he was done with the conversation, but he still nodded his head.

"I'll see you around, right? We can talk about this later."

"You won't find her in the Tower." Apparently, Zavala thought they were taking too long. Turning to him the big man eyed Skylar, his frown deeper. "This was a special case, and now, she needs to get going." Had it really been fifteen minutes? Her shoulders dropped; he really couldn't just let her stay a little longer? Cayde looked – if possible – even more confused.

"What are you talking about?"

"Skylar is banned from the Tower."

Cayed stared, as if waiting for some punchline to a joke. If only.

"That's not… She's a Guardian," Cayde said as if to clarify. When neither of them answered, Skylar bit the inside of her cheek again. She wasn't, was she? "Listen, if she was my rookie then-"

"It's okay," she cut in finally. "This isn't anything you should be worrying about right now. This isn't… there are more important things than that right now."

"But…" He raised a hand halfway, concern and confusion so clear on his human face. She just gave him a tired smile, the clenching in her chest so tight it was hard to breathe. He dropped his hand, nodding slightly. "If that's what you want… is there any way I can contact you?"

She bit her cheek harder and tasted blood. Why was he… damn it.

"Shiro," she managed to get out. "He'll know where I am… most of the time." She glanced at the Exo, who nodded his head slowly.

"Alright," Cayde relented. "I'll talk to you later." He looked at Zavala and nodded and after a moment of the Titan giving Skylar a very pointed look, he started out of the Hangar with Cayde on his heels. Skylar's heart lurched and she took a half step forward before forcing herself to stay put. She so badly at that moment wanted to just tell him the truth, but only for that moment, instead she watched in pained silence, till they were gone.

Once they were, the wall she had put up - the mask, all of it - cracked and then broke, the clenching in her chest snapping apart. She turned around, walked the two feet she needed too, and slammed her hands into the table of his old workspace, letting out an angry pained sound. Ice fractures out from them, purple lightning crackling across it as she dropped her head, her arms shaking.

It wasn't fair. It wasn't fair.

IT WASN'T FAIR.

But somehow, Skylar wasn't surprised.

A strangled laugh came from her first, there's humor in it, sadistic, bitter humor. Perhaps this was payback for using the Darkness, perhaps the Traveler hated her. Perhaps it was just the way her life was meant to go. The laughter died out almost as quickly as it came, peeling off into a sob, quiet and cracking that she pressed a frozen hand over her mouth to try a stifle. She felt sick.

A hand on her back, the warm thrum of living metal.

"Skylar, I… I'm so sorry I…" Shiro seemed lost for words, stepping closer before pausing as someone else came up behind them.

"I've got this," Z said quietly, because in all real sense the two of them were the ones constantly trying to comfort her in some way or another. "Go with Cayde, he needs people that are close to him right now." That he remembers , were the silent added words. There's hesitation and then the hand on her rubs her back once and falls away. The quiet footfalls leave the two Hunters alone in the Hangar. The old, empty stall Cayde had used felt even more wrong than before. He was back, but he didn't remember ever using this spot, he felt no pull or familiarity with it, thus it would continue to be alone. Stagnant and left to decay in an ever-flowing area.

How ironically fitting.

A pair of steady hands touched both her shoulders after a moment and Z turned her even as she tried to jerk away, to walk off to her ship – she was pulled into his chest before she could do anything about it. She'd gotten so many hugs from people she loved, from family and close friends, lately. Shiro was always pulling her into them, but Z's had always made her feel safe, giving her a sense of place in the world even when everything else was falling to pieces. The warmth of Solar Light licked off his skin, warming and melting the ice that had frosted her armor in her outburst. That silent comfort was all it took.

The sobs came harsher and louder, and she dug her fingers into his back, clenching his cloak, and pressing her face into his shoulder as she cried. Finger ran over the braided section of her hair, his other arm tightening.

"Why?" She asked in a whisper, unsure of what part of her messed up life she was even asking about. Z's hand moved to rub her back and she felt his head tilt slightly against her own.

"I don't know," he answered truthfully. "I wish I did."

"It's not fair!"

"It isn't. It's wrong and it's cruel and I'm so, so sorry Skylar. But…he's alive, yeah? That's something, even if it's not what we wanted. It's something . Doesn't mean you have to be okay with it, but remember that it wasn't for nothing, alright?"

Skylar knew he was right, knew it wasn't all bad – but it felt like it was. She shivered and she felt the warmth on his skin grow. It reminded her of how Cayde would hold her and keep her warm, much like this, but not the same. It was close enough. She gripped her friend harder and cried, only the echoing walls of the Hangar left to listen.

N/A: Getting to write about Skylar and Z's relationship at a deeper level has been kind of therapeutic for me.

On a side note - Cayde's appearance was a struggle and I thought hard and long, debating with my beta for months. I ended up on deciding he looks like David Tennant (Doctor Who look), but with blond hair and blue eyes, with that scar along his jaw and neck.

Thanks for reading, and as always your thoughts are welcome.