Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to Inuyasha or any of the characters. This is a work of pure fiction and mostly a daydream of how I wished the anime went according to my ship. Here I shall let it sail.

New Beginnings Chapter 1:

Kagome stared out of Kaede's hut; eyes glazed over. She fiddled with the sleeve of her shirt, absentmindedly pulling a stray string. She was lost in thought. And strangely…empty.

When she came back after 3 years to find Inuyasha waiting for her, her heart was full, and the promise of a fresh start hung in the air. For a time, she was happy. It had been relieving that Inuyasha and Kikyo had closure and that she had moved on to her final resting place. Kikyo could finally rest in peace and Inuyasha could move on.

Then, no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shake this nagging feeling. This feeling that she wasn't really in a relationship with Inuyasha. He was in a relationship with Kikyo's soul. Sometimes when he looked at her it felt as if he were looking through her. To where Kikyo laid dormant inside her.

She could never shake the feeling that she was just a continuation of their love story, that maybe Kikyo's soul was drawn to his, even in a new life. At first the thought didn't bother her. She was Kagome and she loved him. She knew that though they shared a soul, she was not Kikyo.

Doubt began to creep in. Did she love Inuyasha or did Kikyo's love transcend time? She thought back to all the painful memories of seeing Inuyasha with Kikyo. It was unfortunate what happened to them. When she was still a child, her petty jealousy could barely be contained.

While in her time she analyzed everything. She realized she hadn't been fair. While 50 years had passed, Inuyasha had only a blink. She had wanted him over it, didn't understand why he was still so eaten up about it. For him, it was only minutes before. Then the enlightenment of what had really happened had confused his feelings.

How could he just move on? She understood his need to seek revenge for their love that was cut short. She figured if she waited, eventually he could love her, Kagome. Without the choice between them Kagome felt foolish. It felt as if she won her prize by default. A lump formed in her throat, she wasn't confident that she would have been chosen if Kikyo had lived.

Those thoughts set heavy in her gut. No matter how much she pushed it away, the harder it would hit her when she was alone. Then slowly, she felt nothing at all. She did not want to be someone's second choice. She wanted to be chosen for her, for the person she was now. Not the person her soul had been so long ago.

She didn't know why she wasn't happy. She should be. She had Inuyasha now. He was within her grasp. She just needed to reach out and grab him. When he offered his heart she thought it would be forever and they would get married. Have some kids.

It unsettled her that she was unsure that was what she wanted anymore. She needed to think. She had been discussing this at length with the old miko, Kaede. She glanced back to see Kaede pouring tea into Terra Cotta mugs and slid one towards her.

"Ye had three years to contemplate ye relationship. Yet ye now question it. Just when ye have Inuyasha? What will ye do?" she asked, summarizing their discussion.

Kagome sighed deeply, "What is wrong with me?"

"Ye are becoming older and wiser, tis all." Kaede said taking a sip of her tea.

"I don't want to hurt each other." Kagome said softly. "But I also don't know what I want. I need to be sure. Of him, of me. Being around him confuses me."

"Ye need some distance, I believe." Kaede replied.

"I had three years. There was plenty of distance. 500 years to be specific."

"Yes, child but ye needed to face him again. I believe ye need to know ye love him as a woman, no longer holding the love of a child." Kaede grabbed her hand and patted the top of it. "Ye need to question what ye really want for yourself. Through the years ye have finished Midoriko's and Kikyo's story. Ye need to find yer own. When ye find yourself ye will know the answers."

Kagome pondered her words, rolling them around her mind. She internally breathed out a sigh in relief. What she said made sense. She wasn't a child any longer. She also needed to think about what her future held. She was only 18. Maybe she needed to figure out who she was now in the Feudal Era and go from there.

"Thank you Kaede." Kagome bowed to the old Miko. She slapped her cheeks with both hands and strode out of the hut feeling better. She needed to get it together and figure out her plan and how Inuyasha fit into it. Not how she fit into his.

She owed it to herself to take away their awful history and rewrite it from scratch. She wasn't sure if he fit into it anymore. One thing was for certain, this was a test that needed to happen. Only by learning herself again would he know her, truly. If at the end of this her heart still wanted his, she would know if his wanted her back. Kaede had been right. She had given up a piece of her childhood and helped everyone around her. This time, she needed to help herself. Not knowing where she stood was as much as her fault as anyone else. How could she be certain that Inuyasha wanted her when she no longer knew who that was? She hadn't been living for herself in a long time.

Kaede looked at Kagome's retreating back, with a twinge of apprehension. Somehow, she believed Kagome was on a different path than Inuyasha.

This does not bode well for my foreseeable future. Inuyasha will be difficult to deal with should Kagome decide in a future without him. I am too old for this.