Unravel

by Homer's Disciple

Shinji rejected Instrumentality, but he made so many mistakes. He has one last chance to set things right, to unravel everything and save what matters. A retelling or altering of the series, an altered version of Shinji with an altered past. Life takes a different path, but do all paths lead to the same destination? Is Shinji doomed to never know happiness?

14. Intent

Hey guys, I'm back. Been busy.
Thanks to all the new readers!

This chapter is really long, I have a habit of overwriting, but I'm satisfied with this one.
I suggest reading in parts if it seems too long.

Here's chapter 14 "Intent"

---

"Why do we act one way or another? Why do we lash out? Get angry? Scared? Why do we push away the people who mean the most to us? It seems we can never really do what we intended. Never say what we really want. Maybe the world would be a better place if everyone was honest with each other, honest with their intentions."

- the broken man

---

1:32 a.m.
Asuka's nightmare

"Mom! Mom stop!" Little Asuka shouted.

She was visiting her mother and the woman was having another incident, screaming at everything and everyone.

"No! No! Give me my daughter!" Asuka's mother shouted. She was dressed in a white patient's gown. Dried food and spilled drink littered down the woman's gown.

That was how Asuka remembered her mother. An insane woman who had thrown tantrums in the mental ward in Germany.

SMACK.

Kyoko Zeppelin Sohryu slapped Asuka in the face. The child prodigy was sent reeling back, her face stinging.

Asuka felt tears in her eyes.

"Liar! Liar! You're a fake! He sent you! That cheater! Unfaithful! Everyone leaves me!" Kyoko Sohryu said her eyes wild and mad. She wasn't even looking at the crying Asuka on the floor, her eyes were firmly planted on the door to her room.

Already Asuka could hear the German staff rushing to get the door open and stop the insane woman. The woman that had once been Asuka's kind and loving mother.

Kyoko scooped the fallen and ragged doll off the floor. One of Asuka's old toys her mother had bought her when she was a toddler.

"Shh. It's alright Asuka. It's alright. You still love me, don't you? I love you too. I do. I do," Kyoko Sohryu said rocking the doll in her hands back and forth. The madwoman held the doll as if it was her daughter.

Asuka got to her short feet sobbing, "it's not. I'm your daughter! I am!"

Kyoko turned away from her child all together as she rocked the doll back and forth, cooing at the small toy as if it were a real baby.

"Momma!" Asuka cried watching the utterly insane woman that was once her mother.

"Just do it. Come with me. Die with me. It'll be much better. It will. I've seen it Asuka. I've seen it," Kyoko said whispering to the doll. The doll she pretended was her daughter.

"Momma!" Asuka cried sobbing into her small dress. Why couldn't her mother just come back? Why did she have to leave? Why did she have to go insane?!

The German staff finally got the door open and pushed their way in. The men in white stormed in and Kyoko wailed, an agonized shout that sent chills down Asuka's spine.

Two men grabbed Asuka and gently took her outside the room of the mental ward. The others pried Kyoko from the corner of the room, and the woman screamed as the staff held her down.

Asuka watched even as she was dragged away, witnessing the horror as the ward staff took the doll away and forced a sedative into her mother. The injection did not go easy, with Kyoko thrashing wildly against the men in white.

Mom... Momma... please come back. Please. Sob. Please don't be insane.

…

Someone was shaking her by the shoulder.

Asuka gasped.

She stumbled into a sitting position on her bed, only to find Shinji Ikari in her room.

The strange boy loomed over her with hollow empty eyes in the dark.

"Breathe. You were having a nightmare. I couldn't sleep and I heard you thrashing around."

Despite the tears in her eyes, despite the panic and shock of dreaming of her dead mother again, Asuka lashed out at him.

"Leave me alone! Get out of my room!" Asuka shouted.

She raised a hand to slap him.

SNATCH.

The Other Shinji grabbed her by the wrist, her hand an inch from his face. He'd stopped her without so much as blinking.

"Go away!" Asuka screamed. She raised her free hand and tried to slap him again.

Other Shinji grabbed her wrist as Asuka forced herself out of bed. She stood forcing Shinji to move with her, all the time he held her by the wrists.

She tried to kick him in the groin but the boy stepped back and blocked with his knee. Then Other Shinji pushed forward forcing her to her bed again. Other held her down as she thrashed and thrashed, old tears in her eyes as she fought to break free but couldn't.

"Asuka. Breathe. Just breathe."

The Other Shinji spoke softly, and Asuka did as asked. Reluctantly, she breathed. She allowed herself to calm down. Letting herself fade from the panic and despair of her dream. The memory of her mother and her insanity.

"Are you done?" Other Shinji asked calmly.

Asuka avoided his gaze and nodded slowly.

Other Shinji let go of her wrists and stepped back. He let the girl get a hold of herself. Asuka breathed, never meeting Shinji's gaze as she wrapped her bedsheets around herself.

"... I told you, you weren't allowed in my room," Asuka muttered quietly.

Her voice shook as she slowly got over herself. God, how pathetic she must have looked like this. Dreaming about her insane mother. No, that wouldn't do. Asuka Langley Sohryu was not weak. She was strong. She was a child prodigy. She was one of the best Eva pilots.

"I heard you, and I couldn't just stand there," Other Shinji said simply. The way he spoke, so calm and soft-spoken but sure of himself. Very different from the 'wimp' she knew during the day.

Asuka didn't know what to say to that. She only knew how to taunt. How to tease and mock. This was hard for her. So she looked away not saying anything as she pulled her bedsheets tighter around herself.

"I'll get some water. It'll help you sleep," Other Shinji said.

He turned and left the room. Asuka briefly considered holding the door closed, stupid Japanese didn't have locks on their doors, but ultimately decided against it.

Other Shinji returned with a cup of water and handed it to her.

"Thanks... " Asuka muttered under her breath as she accepted the cup and took a long drink.

Other Shinji didn't move. He lingered in her room watching her in the dark with hollow empty eyes. Giving her time as she processed things and got over her nightmare.

"It's alright. Happens to everyone... Happened to me too, remember? We deal with too much for kids our age. Both of us almost died at Mount Asama."

He didn't move to put a reassuring hand on her shoulder, like Misato or Kaji would have tried to, no he knew Asuka better than that.

Yeah, your stupid ass had to save me, Asuka thought on the verge of bitterness. She took another drink of water, wiping the stupid tears from her face. She did not cry. Not anymore. Never again.

"Shinji... get out," Asuka said slowly. The last thing she needed was another insane person in her life.

Other Shinji bowed his head low but nodded and turned to leave.

Before he left, Other called after her saying, "... you talk in your sleep."

Oh great. This is his 'revenge' for last time, isn't it? When I walked into his room and he was crying for his mother, Asuka thought glaring up at him. If this stupid boy wanted a fight then he'd get one. She was in no mood for this.

"I am sorry. I miss my mother too," Other Shinji said softly. He looked at her with such sadness that he took her by surprise, her anger disappeared just as soon as it had emerged.

"I... you- ah... don't talk about things you don't understand!" Asuka shouted throwing a pillow at him.

Why did she lash out? Why did she always push people away? She didn't know. It was all she knew.

The Other Shinji raised a hand and caught the pillow. Gently, he tossed it back to her on her bed.

Asuka panted, looking up at him from her bed. She stopped the tears from coming. Asuka Langley Sohryu did not cry, she was an adult not some stupid kid like he was.

"Goodnight," Other Shinji said turning to leave her room. The strange boy closed the door behind him.

Once he was gone, Asuka sat there in the dark. She hated this, no one should see her like that. She should not be whimpering like some stupid kid. Asuka never felt more alone than when she wrapped her sheets tighter around herself and went back to bed just trying to sleep.

---

Hours later
Breakfast time

SLAP

"Ack. Hey! Pen pen, what was that for?" Shinji asked.

He'd just stepped into the kitchen to find Misato sitting at the table, and Pen pen wobbling over to slap him across the foot.

"Wark!" the penguin grunted at him with a glare.

This was something Misato had been trying ever since the hearing. Trying to be 'normal' and having them all eat breakfast together at the same time. Unfortunately, that meant waiting for everyone to gather in the kitchen.

"Don't mind him. He's just cranky," Misato said.

'Food' Pen Pen seemed to say glaring up at Shinji.

"Sorry," he whispered sheepishly. He scooped up Pen Pen's food bowl and filled it for the little creature.

Asuka entered the kitchen, stepping around Shinji as she did so, saying "we still doing this?"

"Yes," Misato said simply.

Asuka avoided Shinji as she took a seat at the table. Shinji watched her keeping a small distance between them as he took his seat. Their eyes met for a brief moment, and she gave him the 'look'.

His roommates knew about his past in the mental ward now. Asuka didn't seem to take it well, she was cold to him. Colder than usual. These days she looked at him as if she was watching for signs of a breakdown.

Stop looking at me like that... Shinji thought glumly.

There was a tension between them that hadn't been there before. She wasn't afraid of him, he didn't think Asuka was afraid of anything. But she treated him different. Even after the hearing when she had grudgingly thanked him, the tension had been there.

"Take a seat, Shinji. You always cook for us. So I made breakfast for once," Misato said. She grabbed his hand guiding him to sit, before handing Asuka a plate of food.

"... thanks," he said slowly.

Shinji was a better cook than either of his roommates, but Misato seemed to be trying to 'play mom' more with her charges. Insisting that they all eat together. Even Pen pen.

Ever since the hearing, their gatherings were awkward. Asuka seemed distant and didn't talk to Misato or Shinji. Shinji himself just wanted things to go back to 'normal', and Misato apparently wanted to 'be there' for her two 'kids'.

"So Shinji... you take your medicine already. Everything okay?" Misato asked. She did that now, she asked about him and his meds. The boy found it strange, odd after so long of hiding it from his guardian.

"You mean his crazy pills?" Asuka muttered from the table.

Crazy Pills? That's not how they work... Shinji thought, a frown forming on his face.

"Asuka! Do not call them that!" Misato snapped at the German girl.

"It's what they are," Asuka countered stubbornly.

Sigh. I wish I could have saved Asuka without the stupid military getting mad at me. Then this wouldn't have happened.

Shinji felt his face fall as Asuka and Misato argued again.

Misato was trying to treat the issue as just another chore really, something not too serious. While Asuka... Shinji didn't know how Asuka treated things now. She called things the way they were.

"It's fine, Misato. Let it go," he said in a low grumble. He wasn't in the mood for arguing.

Misato gave Asuka a look that said, 'we're talking about this later'.

Asuka scoffed returning to her breakfast.

They finished their meal in silence. Misato reminding Shinji that he had to come home right after school, no more outings with Mari, or Toji and Kensuke, or even Rei. Commander Ikari had agreed to the punishments and Shinji was under house arrest. Only allowed to leave for school or Nerv related reasons.

…

After breakfast, Shinji packed lunches for Asuka and him before heading off to school.

"Thanks," Asuka murmured before taking off.

At least she said thanks, he thought bitterly.

Shinji ended up waiting for Rei at their usual spot on the way to school, Asuka having passed him up long ago. To his relief, Rei had shown up.

The pale skinned girl emerged onto the street in her school clothes.

"Hello Shinji," Rei said offering up a small, awkward, smile.

"Rei," he said smiling at the sight of her.

"I uh... ready to head for school?" Shinji asked. He was glad to have his friend back. He thought she was still upset or sad about what happened, but Rei had met up with him again so that was a start. They had talked for hours on the phone last night.

"Yes," Rei said moving to walk with him.

Together, the two of them started walking to school. They were in no rush, they had plenty of time, and they were... comfortable with the other's presence.

"Are you well? I was informed that the hearing resulted in your punishment?" Rei said softly.

"I'm okay. I'm under house arrest. Can't leave except for school and Nerv," Shinji said sounding a bit mopey even to himself.

Rei stopped walking.

"... I am sorry."

The girl's words made Shinji paused mid-step. He turned to find Rei looking at him curiously. It was one of those moments where even he didn't know what the girl was thinking, and he ran a hand through his hair pondering that. He thought that maybe she was sad, sad for him.

"It's not your fault. I disobeyed orders," he said.

Shinji knew his father... Gendo was angry at him for risking both Eva Units. But he couldn't just stand there. He couldn't let Asuka die. All things considered, they were lucky. Eva Team One had killed the Angel before things had gotten too out of hand.

"This is... difficult for me. I cannot... explain it," Rei said slowly. A frown developed on the pale girl's face.

Shinji blinked at her in surprise.

"Is everything alright?" Shinji asked.

"Rationally, I know it is not my fault. I am aware that you disobeyed orders... and I... I feel 'bad' that you are being punished. I... I cannot explain it," Rei said slowly. She was staring at him unblinkingly, her red eyes meeting his brown ones, but then she looked away unsure of herself.

Shinji watched her and he thought she was struggling with something more than just him.

Rei gasped, her face flushed lightly, as Shinji took her hand in his.

"Thank you. Rei. I'm... glad that you care about me. Even when the higher-ups are mad at me. I missed my friend," Shinji said slowly.

Rei stared at her hand in his, and the shadow of a smile emerged on her lips.

"There is nothing wrong with you. With what you feel." The Other Shinji said gently.

Rei looked up at him, staring intently.

"Emotions are different than reason. They conflict. It's hard for everyone. Even me, it's okay to be confused. We all are. Sometimes, just let yourself 'feel'. Don't run away from it."

Rei opened her mouth, considering that, but no responses came to mind.

"Ahhhh... " Shinji whispered blinking as he stepped back, his hand leaving Rei's.

Rei frowned at the loss of warmth, her fingers trailing after Shinji's as the boy left her touch.

The boy laughed awkwardly, seemingly just as confused, if not more so, than she had been.

"Sorry, don't know what came over me," he said stammered.

"I do not mind," Rei said. She rubbed her fingers where Shinji's hand had been. It felt warm, even now.

Shinji felt himself blushing.

God, he was glad Misato wasn't around to tease the hell out of them.

Rei tilted her head at him saying, "we should head to school."

"Yeah. Let's... let's go," Shinji said awkwardly. Rei didn't seem bothered at all.

---

Nerv HQ
Cafeteria

"And Asuka still treats him like a freak," Misato was saying with a sigh. She slumped in her chair, eating with Ritsuko during their lunch break.

"Is that all you want to talk about? I like Shinji, but I swear you're starting to sound like a 'mom'. Never thought I'd see the day," Ritsuko said.

"Tell me about it. The poor kid actually told me that I was the closest 'thing to a mother he ever had'. Ahhhhhhh, what I did I get myself into? I'm not cut out for this," Misato groaned glumly.

"You did offer to take him in. He had a perfectly good apartment set up for him," Ritsuko said coolly.

"I couldn't just leave him all alone. Besides, you helped him too", Misato countered looking up at her friend with narrowed eyes. She wasn't exactly 'mad' just annoyed.

"He asked me not to tell you. It was in his files, just a small paragraph really, but it was there. Moot point now, everyone will know soon. Gossip spreads," Ritsuko said with a shrug.

Still wished Shinji would have told me about his meds. Then again, I had time to get to know him. Would I have treated him differently if I had known from the start? Misato wondered. A small dark part of her thought that maybe she would have.

"I helped get the pills because he needed them. And I need our pilots to be in the best possible shape, his mental health is a concern of mine. Remember?" Ritsuko said. Defending herself from Misato's unspoken accusation.

"Whatever. You could have told me," Misato said offhandedly.

"I was asked not to. When did you start 'maturing'. I remember a certain party girl I had for a roommate in college." Ritsuko muttered raising an eyebrow.

"And I remember having a real 'stick in the mud' for a roommate. Never wanted to have fun, didn't like parties or drinking. What happened to her?" Misato countered coolly.

The two of them weren't really fighting per se, just getting things off their chests while seeing how the tables had turned.

Ritsuko gestured to her saying, "we both got jobs. And now you're the mature one, and I want a day off to go bar hopping."

Misato sighed, "we could really use some time off."

After everything that had happened with the incident at Mount Asama and the hearing for Shinji, everyone had been busy lately.

"Trouble in paradise my lovely ladies?" a voice called suddenly.

With an audible thud, a man took the seat beside Misato.

"Kaji... " Misato scowled. Of all the people just milling about in the cafeteria looking for a place to sit, Kaji just had to swing by.

There's plenty of empty tables. Jerk, Misato thought.

"Hello to you too. How's Asuka been doing?" Kaji asked smiling at the ladies before him at the table.

"Distant as always. Cold to Shinji. Not sure why," Misato said keeping a cold eye on Kaji.

"Give her time. Asuka's had... a troubled past and-"

"I know," Misato said interrupting. She had done research on Asuka when the girl had first moved into the apartment, and she paid extra attention lately because of Shinji's revelation.

"... I misjudged you," Kaji admitted. Oddly serious for once.

"Not for the first time," Misato said wishing he'd leave already.

Ritsuko watched the exchanged with an annoyed expression. It's like I'm not even here... she thought.

"Charming as always. So, what's this about reminiscing about our college days?" Kaji said smoothly.

All three of them had been in college at roughly the same time. And for years Misato and Kaji had dated before separating on bad terms.

"Lamenting on our old 'imaginary' free time. People have a habit of looking at the past with rose-tinted glasses," Ritsuko cut in.

Kaji nodded his head, never once taking his eyes off Misato.

"You look pretty stressed. Maybe you need a night out?" the man said smoothly.

"Not with you," Misato said a little too quickly.

"Pass," Ritsuko said.

Kaji rose and mockingly raised his hands saying, "I accept defeat. But the offer stands, you know where to find me."

Then without another word, he walked off.

Ritsuko raised an eyebrow.

"What happened between you two?" Ritsuko asked, she knew her friend.

"Nothing," Misato said nearly spitting out her food.

"Uh-huh. Seriously, what happened?"

"... we kissed... once," Misato said sadly.

These two. Love and hate, and always pinning over each other... sigh, Ritsuko thought.

"You need time off. Tonight, you're going bar hopping with me."

---

School

"So, the love birds have made up?" Toji teased.

Shinji almost tripped from the shock. "Please! Do not call us that."

Kensuke laughed as he struggled to keep up with Shinji and Toji, the three of them were running track together with the rest of the boys during Physical Education. Shinji slowed down for Kensuke's sake, letting himself fall back so that they ran side by side. Toji grudgingly did the same, he liked to 'win' and be the best at everything, but he would sacrifice that to chat with his friends most of the time too.

"But it's true. Rei kept looking at you during class," Kensuke said.

Shinji shook his head saying, "you're imagining things."

"Nah, I saw it too. She's a bit creepy sometimes but she's got her eye on you," Toji said. The boy gave Shinji a playful jab in the side.

"How do you do it?" Kensuke mockingly exclaimed.

"Seriously. What do all these girls see in you?" Toji muttered shaking his head. It was ridiculous how many pretty girls Shinji knew, something Toji wondered about often.

"We're just friends. And Asuka... well she's my partner. I have to work with her," Shinji panted as they jogged.

"How's that working out for you? She's a bit crazy," Kensuke said struggling to keep up with Shinji and Toji. Well, more Shinji than Toji. Toji was always the fastest of the three.

"More like the devil. Nice to look at but nothing else," Toji grunted.

There they go with the 'c' word again, Shinji thought mildly annoyed.

"She's not so bad," he half lied.

"So, was that you two at Mount Asama then? It was on the news. An Angel appeared inside the volcano and got loose?" Kensuke said. The obsessive teen never seeming to miss any scrap of news about the Evas or the Angels.

"Can't talk about it," Shinji said looking away from his friends.

"Knock it off Ken. Shinji's a tough guy but he doesn't have to talk about it," Toji said coming to Shinji's defense.

Thanks, Toji, Shinji thought. The two other boys had seen what piloting was like first hand, and they knew it wasn't exactly 'fun' for him.

"Come on, they said the military used an N2 mine?" Kensuke said prying for any little thing.

Shinji sighed.

"They tried too, but I stopped it. They would have hit Asuka so I stepped in. I'm not supposed to talk about it. I got in trouble for it."

"You got in trouble?" Toji asked while Kensuke stared eyes wide at Shinji.

"House arrest," Shinji explained. He did not mention the psych evaluation.

Kensuke tripped and fell to the ground. Toji and Shinji helped him up calling, "you alright?"

"Fine. But Shinji, they put you under house arrest? Seriously?" Kensuke asked incredulously.

"Yeah," he said with a shrug.

"We were going to invite you to the arcade after class was over. Ken even said you could bring Rei too if she wanted to come," Toji said. Shinji looked between his friends in surprise. The three boys stood together in the middle of the track field, other classmates passing them up.

I really should hang out with them more. Heh, they're the most 'normal' friends I have. Even inviting Rei too, Shinji thought.

"Can't. Some other time?" Shinji said with an apologetic look.

"Yeah, we get it," Kensuke said.

"Stop looking so damn 'sorry' all the time. You're being punished, it's not like you blew us off," Toji said slapping him on the back.

"Ouch," Shinji winced.

There was the sound of a whistle being blown and the three boys looked up to see their track coach glaring at them.

"No breaks! Back to it!" the old man shouted at them.

Sighing, all three boys picked up their old pace and started jogging with the others. Still, as they jogged Shinji looked up. Where above them, the girls swam in the school pool. He noticed Rei was looking back at him.

…

After classes were over, Shinji said goodbye to his friends and headed off to see Rei before he had to leave. He had to rush out against all the other students heading home or else to after-school clubs.

Asuka passed him by as he did so, she glanced at him as he passed by.

"Weirdo," the German girl muttered.

"Tsk," Shinji scowled. Fine. Asuka could be like that if she wanted too but Shinji didn't care about her right now, he wanted to talk to Rei. Hikari frowned at their exchange but said nothing as Shinji passed both girls up.

"Shinji," Rei said in greeting when they were both outside the school. The two of them stopped to chat just outside the entrance.

He had his first meeting with Dr. Page today, he would be 'escorted' by the Nerv security staff but he wanted to speak with Rei before he had to go.

"Uh, listen. I know you said you wanted me to teach you how to cook," Shinji began.

"I already said I was not mad anymore," Rei said tilting her head at him.

I... I don't believe you, Shinji thought looking at her with a frown. He thought she was still bothered by what had happened, but she was talking to him again so that was good.

"It's okay if you are, I deserve that," Shinji stammered.

Rei stared at him unblinkingly not responding.

That means she agrees. Stop stalling and continue. The thing in his head stirred.

Go away. Please! Shinji thought.

"Well, I'm under house arrest so I can't be there in person. But I thought I could write you instructions, and you could practice," Shinji said.

Rei seemed to consider that but said nothing.

Not knowing what else to do Shinji just kept talking.

"It's the not the best way but it's something. I can answer any questions when we're at school and-" Shinji started rambling.

You're rambling. She gets the point. Let her choose.

"I would like that. One day, I will make lunch for you... and bring it to school," Rei said slowly, the shadow of a smile on her face.

Two men in black suits emerged onto the scene heading for Rei and him, he knew the Nerv security guys were mad that he hadn't been there on time waiting for them.

"You have to go. I do not like that, but I understand," Rei said turning to look at the approaching men.

"I'm sorry. About all this. Stupid hearing-" Shinji began.

"You did what you thought was right. That was... brave," Rei said suddenly.

One of the men dressed in black grabbed Shinji by the shoulder.

"I... thanks. Bye," Shinji said as the man in black pulled him along.

...

Rei watched her friend being taken off, 'escorted' to the car that would take him to the first session of his psych evaluation.

The pale girl wondered if she would have done what Shinji had if she had been at Mount Asama.

Some dark part of her thought that she would not have, and that made her feel... guilty. Guilty, and yet she felt 'warm' that Shinji would have and did disobey orders to save his partner.

…

"I can walk. I can," Shinji said managing to tug his arm free.

"You were supposed to meet us outside the entrance," the man in black said coldly.

Shinji was accidentally making a scene, with some of the students staring at the sight of him being dragged along by two grown men in black suits.

Ahhh, Hikari did say most people knew I was pilot already, Shinji thought.

All the same, he wished they didn't have to make a scene.

Shinji got in the Nerv car alongside his escort and awkwardly stayed silent as the men drove him to Dr. Page's office.

---

Dr. Page's Office.

Shinji had hoped to never step foot in an office like this again. Strange that this place had been set up just for him. Yet, it was not located at Nerv HQ at all. It was a single lone office in a small building that had been rented as a result of the hearing. So far, Shinji was the only patient. The room was lightly decorated, a couch on the side, two chairs, and a desk.

Page smiled up at him from her desk as he stepped in. That same fake smile that he'd seen for years. The one that said she was intent on keeping him calm.

"Hello, Shinji. Take a seat," Dr. Page said gesturing to the chair across her desk.

"Hello," the boy said softly. He moved to sit across from the doctor.

Do not react to my voice. Be careful. Page is watching you. She sees everything when you're in a room with her.

Shinji stilled at that. His hand hovering over the chair. Once again, there was no longer any pain from inside his skull when the voice stirred. But it startled him at times. And this... this was unusual.

Page looked at him curiously.

He pulled the chair out and took a seat.

She knows something happened. Not good.

Yes, she does. Do not react.

Shinji didn't know how much power Page had over him anymore, her presence and tests had been a condition of his punishment, and he harbored a deep-seated fear of being sent back to the ward.

"Now then, how are you doing? I trust you have been taking your medication?" the American doctor said in flawless Japanese.

"Yes, Ma'am. I'm doing okay, all things considered," Shinji said simply. Regardless of the thing in his head, this strange thing within him, he was never sure if he liked Dr. Page or not.

Page shook her head, her expression one of complete understanding.

"I know it must be hard. Made to pilot an Evangelion, forced into situations that many adults would not be expected to handle. And the JSSDF's hearing. I know you are not here of your free will. But I promise to make this as painless as possible for the both of us," Dr. Page said.

"Okay," Shinji said stupidly. Maybe he was being a 'dumb teenager' again but a part of him thought Page didn't have clue what he dealt with. He would never say that her face, she was his doctor after all.

"Now then. I'm not going to ask about the incident at Mount Asama. I know you did what you did to save your friend. May I ask, what is your relationship to this Asuka?" Page asked.

"My relationship?" Shinji asked blinking in surprise. He had not expected that.

Page nodded.

"Asuka is... my partner in Eva Team One. She lives with us in Misato's apartment. We're not exactly friends... at least I'm not sure anymore. But we can work together."

Page scribbled notes onto her clipboard, saying "and Rei?"

"She's my friend," Shinji answered quickly.

Page looked up from her clipboard at him. "Your friend. I see, tell me Shinji. What is your relationship with Mari? I understand you two were close during your years in the ward."

"... Mari is my friend too. I hadn't seen her in years. Was surprised when she showed up. We don't get to see each other much because she's older, and my house arrest..." Shinji said awkwardly.

Page scribbled down more notes.

"Why uh... why are you asking about my fellow pilots?" Shinji asked awkwardly.

She's breaking down your calm demeanor. Getting you awkward and easier to answer leading questions.

Please. Go away. I don't want to take my pills in front of her, she'll only report it.

Page smiled at him.

"Shinji. You're a teenager, no a young man. A young man under a tremendous amount of pressure. Teenagers are known to be 'hormonal'. I ask because I want to know what stresses and 'reliefs' you have in your life."

"Stresses and reliefs?" Shinji asked frowning.

"Yes. Shinji, understand that what you say stays between us. I am legally forbidden from discussing this with anyone. Now, please answer truthfully. Are you still a virgin?"

Shinji's face went as red as a tomato and he blushed.

"I... uh yeah. I'm still a virgin. I mean... I'm 14 years old. I've never even kissed a girl," the boy said stammering through his speech. His hands had gotten sweaty, and he felt himself look at the floor as he spoke.

"Why, aren't you quite the gentlemen. I'm happy to hear how well mannered you are," Page said.

Don't get distracted. She's getting information and breaking you down at the same time.

Shinji didn't react. He didn't want Page to see.

You've gotten better a lying. Now is the time, boy.

"Enough of that for now. How has your condition been treating you lately? Does the voice still bother you?" Page asked looking at him unblinkingly.

If you tell her, she could try to send you back to the ward.

"I- Not as much. Lately, it's gotten a lot better. I take my medicine," Shinji said forcing himself to meet Page's gaze as he spoke. He could feel himself stiffen as he spoke.

It wasn't that he was 'unaware' of his problem. Shinji knew he wasn't healthy. Knew that piloting Eva Unit 01 seemed to make his condition worse. Yet, sometimes he did listen to the voice and sometimes it 'helped' him. He couldn't explain it. He had mixed feelings about his illness. But for now, with the hearing and the military angry with him, he thought it was best to keep that a secret.

"That's good to hear," Page said her eyes beaming. She looked genuinely happy with Shinji's answer, but a part of him thought she was faking it.

"Thank you. I mean... it's your medicine," Shinji said. He did his best to offer up a smile, trying to fake one the way she always did. He didn't know why he did it, but he didn't want to be here and he figured it was best to keep Page happy.

"Now then, have you had any strange dreams lately? Night terrors? I'm told you had another seizure some time ago. Did you see any strange images again?" Page asked him.

Even as his doctor spoke, images flashed through Shinji's mind. Not like the 'breakdowns' he'd suffered in the past. No, this was just him remembering the stranger things he'd seen in his sleep.

He remembered floating in the dark void that he called 'his madness'. He remembered the Woman in the Dark. The strange woman who appeared to him. Always with her hand outstretched but never within his grasp, always kept at bay.

And her words... the way she had spoken to him.

"Oh, sweet Shinji. I am doing this because I love you. I do. I love you with all my heart."

Not the voice in his head. But something else. Something different.

That dream was the only time he'd ever heard the Woman in the Dark speak. It unnerved him, she reminded him so much of his mother. He tried to forget it, yet the memory lingered.

He remembered other dreams as well. The Giant of Light that had exploded. The time he had seen Asuka in his head before having ever met her.

"No. I don't always sleep well but I don't have the 'breakdowns' anymore," Shinji lied again.

"During your seizure? When Unit 01 was shot in the head?" Page asked giving him a curious look.

How does she know so much? He thought.

It's her job.

"I don't remember much of it. I remember stumbling back down the launch pad and into the hangar. I was in a lot of pain. It's hazy. Phantom sensations made me feel it in my skull. Dr. Akagi said it was too much for my brain and then, seizure," Shinji said frowning as he remembered that day.

Dr. Page put down her notepad, gazing up at Shinji with a concerned look that he thought was faked.

"Are you sure you didn't see anything? Try to remember. Anything at all," Page said. Her face all concern for her patient, devoting her entire attention to him.

Without meaning to, Shinji remembered that day. Remembered being shot in the head, remembering seeing things that he couldn't explain. The memory of Asuka yelling at him, her anguished shouts that sent chills down his spine.

She could send me back to the ward. Or 'try' to... Shinji thought fighting with himself over what to say.

Page has her suitcase. She wants you to draw for her. Remember how much that hurt?

Shinji felt his heart skip a beat. The walls of Dr. Page's office seemed to be closing in on him, he grabbed the handles of his chair tightly without meaning to. He was panicking, he needed to calm down. No, he'd decided he wouldn't draw anymore. Never again.

"I'm sorry," Shinji said quickly.

Page tilted her head at him.

"I really don't remember anything. My seizure knocked me into a dreamless sleep... that's all," Shinji said calming himself down. He let go of the chair and hoped Page hadn't noticed.

"That's good. You're showing so much improvement," Page said in a falsely cheery tone.

Shinji nodded breathing softly. He was not prepared for her questions at all. It had been over a year since he'd seen her as a patient, and he'd forgotten how intense these sessions could be.

"We're almost done. Why don't we talk about recent events with your piloting career? How they made you feel?" Page continued.

The rest of their session involved her asking about the pressure and stresses of piloting. Of how he followed orders and how he 'felt' about those orders. Page, true to her word, never once mentioning the incident at Mount Asama. As well as other 'tests' involving her asking him questions, tests that he did not fully understand.

Almost an hour later, and they were done.

"Well, I think that's enough for today. See? That wasn't so bad, was it? I'll be sure to send your guardian Captain Katsuragi a copy of my report," Page said softly.

Ah. I hate the military for making me do this. I've had enough psych evaluations for a lifetime, Shinji thought bitterly.

He got up from his chair and politely shook Page's hand. That was one of her traditions with Shinji they'd developed over the years. She tried hard to be a 'comfortable' factor in his life, but in truth, he had mixed feelings about her. A constant in his life that he did not particularly enjoy.

Shinji opened the door to leave the office and found the two men dressed in black waiting for him. Waiting to 'escort' him to the car and take him home.

He groaned following the men out of the office.

Oh, Shinji. All these years. And you're still my favorite patient, Dr. Page thought with a smirk. She scribbled one final note on her clipboard.

SUBJECT SUSPECTED OF LYING.

---

Misato's apartment

Shinji was dropped off and 'escorted' to the apartment door by Nerv men in black, the two men silently making sure he went inside.

Jeez. You'd think I was a criminal or something, the boy thought as his escort finally left him.

He locked the door once they were gone.

Shinji sighed turning on the lights of the dark apartment. He glanced at the shoebox and saw it was empty, he placed his own shoes inside.

"Hello. Misato? Asuka? Anyone home?"

There was no response. He paced back and forth through the apartment looking for anyone but finding it empty. Pen Pen was asleep in his special compartment beside the fridge it seemed. Well, Shinji was never sure if Pen Pen liked him or not so he didn't bother the penguin.

He stood stupidly in the kitchen wondering where everyone was before he spotted a note on the table. He quickly read it.

Hey Shinji, went out with Ritsuko. I'll be home later. I left some money on the table if you wanted to order any take out. Asuka is at Nerv for another test. Oh, and there was a package for you. I left it in the fridge. See you later.

- Misato.

"Figures," Shinji muttered. Misato was trying, she really was for his sake, but she was still human and she wanted to hang out with her friends too. Shinji understood that. Even teacher, his caretaker employed by Gendo for years, had wanted time away from him every now and then.

Shinji opened the fridge and found a small box with his name on it.

That handwriting... I know that handwriting... Shinji thought. He allowed himself a small smile.

Slowly, he grabbed the box and opened it.

Inside was a pack of boxed up pudding and a note. Shinji laughed as he grabbed the note and read it.

Hey, dummy! Don't be sad. House arrest sucks! But here, have some pudding for old time's sake. I'd get you a beer but I don't think I could slip it past 'Momma Misato'. I'm sure she read this before you did, so tell her I was joking. Or maybe I wasn't. Up to you dummy.

- Mari, the coolest girl you know.

Stupidly, Shinji felt his heart warm and a tear form in his eye.

"Mari," the boy laughed as he took one of the pudding servings and returned the box to the fridge.

He ended up making some pudding for himself. It wasn't the healthiest dinner, but it brought back old memories that he didn't mind reliving.

He sat there in the kitchen eating his sweets all alone. He missed Mari and Rei. He missed Kensuke and Toji. He missed... he missed having a life outside the apartment, school, and Nerv. Shinji had only had a small taste of that, and it had been taken from him.

He missed going on adventures with Mari. But he was stuck here. Gendo had told him that if they had to, Nerv would put an ankle monitor on him, so he had to behave and not abuse Nerv's trust in him.

Trust. As if, Shinji thought bitterly.

He wondered what the others were doing while he sat alone in the apartment.

---

A bar somewhere in Tokyo-03

"Then we're in the elevator and it just happened. Stupid Kaji. I told him not," Misato was saying, her words starting to slur as she spoke.

"Bet you enjoyed it. Better to stay out of relationships. They're just not worth the hassle," Ritsuko was saying only lightly 'buzzed'. She never allowed herself to get too far into the alcohol.

The two friends sat at the bar drinking their troubles away for the night. They had work tomorrow, but they'd done this kind of thing before.

"Says you. I can tell you have a man in your life," Misato slurred back at her.

The bartender gave them curious looks before turning away to help the other customers.

"People have needs," Ritsuko slurred with a shrug. Gendo was a cold man, perhaps even colder than her but people had wants and relationships were just too much work. At least, that's what she told herself.

Misato laughed drunkenly at that.

"Reminds me of our college days. God, miss those days. Everything was super easy."

"Easy because I gave you all the answers," Ritsuko slurred back to her friend.

They both ended up laughing at that. Misato always joked that she might not have made it through college without her friend/roommate Ritsuko. It was something they teased each other about but nothing serious.

"To the college days, and our imaginary extra free time. Nostalgia!" Misato said raising her beer as Ritsuko did the same.

…

Nerv HQ

"Okay. You're at 51% sync ratio. Good job Asuka, you're improving a lot," Maya Ibuki said from the observation window.

"51? That's still not high enough. What was stupid Shinji's record?" Asuka asked from the testing entry plug.

Asuka briefly wondering where Dr. Akagi was, but Maya had explained that Ritsuko had taken a day off and that she was left in charge of the sync test for now. Asuka thought the woman was a bit meek, almost like Shinji, and she was a quiet girl in stark contrast to Asuka herself.

"Uh. Shinji was in here yesterday. His last reported sync record was 55%" Maya said. She'd paused at hearing the way Asuka spoke of her 'partner' but answered the question nonetheless.

"Damn it," Asuka cursed under her breath.

"Is everything alright?" Aoba asked from his terminal. Normally the man wouldn't care to ask, but he felt someone should since Ritsuko wasn't here and it was just him and Maya for now.

"I want to go again. Run it one more time," Asuka said. She stretched inside her plugsuit and settled down in the testing plug. She had to get a higher score. She would not be beaten by anyone, let alone him of all people.

But it was so damn hard. The stupid boy not only had the best records in the tests but also in the field. During the Mount Asama incident, she overheard Aoba and Ritsuko saying that Shinji had achieved a sync ratio of freaking 95%. To add insult to injury, the idiot had maintained that sync rate for almost a full minute.

Maya called back on the intercom saying, "your sync ratio is holding steady at 50%"

"What?! How could it go down?! That doesn't make sense?" Asuka said growing frantic.

"We have a lot of theories on that. It's a complicated process. The Eva interacts its artificial nervous system with their pilot's 'real' one. Stress, psychology, biology, tons of factors go into it. Asuka, you're doing fine. It's nothing to worry about," Maya said quickly.

Aoba glanced at his co-worker and he just knew they were gonna have a long night.

"No, I want to go again," Asuka said firmly.

Aoba groaned as Maya sadly shook her head and began running the procedure again. They ended up doing the sync test many times. Asuka's sync ratio fluctuating up and down with her highest ever being 53%.

Maya had thought that would have been enough, but Asuka insisted on trying something else. The German prodigy wanted to try making an AT Field.

"Theoretically... you need at least a 50% sync ratio," Maya said slowly at Asuka's request for one more test.

Aoba comically slumped into his chair.

"Great. I can hold a ratio over 50%" Asuka said firmly. It was true, 53 was her highest so she knew she could do it.

Maya sighed.

In the end, Maya had had to call Ritsuko and ask her opinion. Ritsuko, despite being partially drunk, had not only authorized the test but had practically beamed at it saying that it would be a great source of data for future experiments.

And so Asuka had left the test plug for the real entry plug, and piloted Eva Unit 02 in a controlled setting deep within Nerv HQ under the Geofront.

The massive red Evangelion held its hand out, palm raised, just as Shinji had done, Asuka mirroring the movements as best she could.

"Ready? Three. Two. One. Go," Maya called into the comm. She and Aoba were sitting at an observation station a good distance away to be safe. The testing rooms for the Evangelions were so massive, as they needed to be, that they needed to use communication modules just to hear each other.

"Now!" Asuka called. Her grip on the Eva's controls tight, teeth clenched, her expression one of pure determination and willpower.

A thin bright AT Field erupted into existence before Eva Unit 02's raised hand. A strange barrier of light weaving patterns of protective octagons. Yet something was wrong, the shield was not stable. The lights flickered, straining to remain tangible.

"Come on," Asuka hissed.

The AT Field flickered in and out of existence as she struggled to maintain a solid shield. Finally, the AT Field held and formed a shield similar to the one Shinji had made.

It had taken Asuka nine tries to get it done.

"Amazing..." Maya said in awe.

"Running test. Small blunt bullets, non-piercing, and moderate firepower," Aoba said pressing the controls on his terminal.

Twin-turret guns, each the size of a small car, fired a small burst of rounds at Unit 02's AT Field. The rounds were not strong enough to damage the Eva at all, but they packed enough punch to test the AT Field. A single round was strong enough to break a wall down.

"Bring it!" Asuka shouted managing to smirk as the bullets slammed into her AT Field. Not a single round got through, each shot exploding upon impact with her AT Field.

"Experiment was a success. I'm marking it down. Well done," Aoba said. That was amazing, he knew that, but he was just so tired and he wanted to go home.

The AT Field faded away and Asuka lowered her Eva's hand, turning in the massive testing room to 'face' the observation station below.

"My AT Field. It was thin... and it wasn't as bright as Shinji's. Why?" Asuka asked panting over the comm.

"Shinji's AT Field is stronger," Maya answered with a shrug.

"... could mine stop an N2 missile? A nuke?" Asuka asked frowning as her Eva loomed over the Nerv staff below.

"What? Uh... no. N2 weaponry has the power of an atomic era bomb without the radioactive fallout. Even Angels get hurt by them, and they've almost been killed by them. Why are you worrying about that? The JSSDF would never attack Nerv... " Aoba said starting to get annoyed. Why did this girl have to keep them here so late, it was really irritating him.

Asuka didn't answer. She only sat in her entry plug remembering Shinji actually stopping an N2 mine. He had just 'done it'. The boy had told her that he hadn't really known how it happened. That he'd just reacted, doing what needed to be done because he couldn't let her die.

"I'm tired. I think that's enough for today. I... thank you all for letting me run this test," Asuka said slowly into the comm.

Aoba and Maya breathed sighs of relief.

---

Later
Misato's apartment

Asuka unlocked the door to the apartment with a heavy sigh. She hadn't been herself ever since leaving Nerv. She'd taken a shower there already, but she hated that no matter how hard she tried she couldn't get as far as she wanted. She'd have to try again tomorrow.

Stepping inside, and closing the door behind her, she took off her shoes and put them in the shoe box by the door. She knew without looking that Shinji's would be there too. The idiot was under house arrest for disobeying orders... for... for saving her life.

Asuka shook her head. It wasn't a good idea to think about the stupid weirdo, that insane boy who had been her roommate for more than a month already.

Walking into the kitchen, she looked around to see if Misato had got them take-out again. Instead, she found Shinji Ikari cleaning of all things.

The boy had apparently cleaned most of the apartment and was now doing the kitchen, judging by the stack of plates at the sink he'd already done the dishes too.

"Hey," Shinji said in greeting as she walked in.

"You cleaned the house?" Asuka asked standing off to the edge of the kitchen. Her eyes hollow and her arms crossed. The stupid boy just had to prove he was 'better' than her, didn't he?

"Not much to do under house arrest. Misato went out and Pen Pen's asleep. Just needed to past the time," Shinji said. He was running a soap-soaked rag back and forth on the breakfast table.

"You cleaned the house for 'fun'. Weirdo," Asuka said.

Shinji looked up at her from the table, he stopped running the rag up and down its surface and almost glared.

"Yeah. I guess so," the boy muttered before getting back to his cleaning.

"Did Misato leave any food behind?" Asuka asked crossing her arms.

"She didn't. I made some pudding. You can have some if you want or I can make you something," Shinji said.

He didn't exactly sound enthusiastic about it

"No," Asuka said stepping back as Shinji passed her by on his way to put the cleaning rag up. He glanced at her as she did so. Scowled but said nothing.

"Misato left some money if we wanted to order in. Here. Take it," Shinji said grabbing the money from the table.

Asuka shifted uncomfortably as Shinji stood before her, holding the money out for her to take.

Slowly, she raised her hand to take the money Misato had left them, but Shinji didn't let go of it.

Something in the boy just snapped. This just wasn't fair and he'd had enough. He didn't want to spend every day with his roommate looking at him like he was a freak...

"Please. Stop that," Shinji said looking at his feet as he spoke. Avoiding her cold gaze.

"I don't know what you're talking about it," Asuka said lying as she tried to grab the money.

The German girl tugged on the bundle of bills, but the boy numbly refused to release them. The two stood at a crossroads, the money locked between them.

"You've been doing it all day. At breakfast. At school... even here. Even now. Just... stop it."

Shinji spoke the words without ever meeting her gaze. His other hand was shaking.

Asuka had a sudden flash of her nightmares, the memories of her dead mother in the throes of her insanity.

"I'm not doing anything. Stupid Shinji, give me the-"Asuka began.

"Stop looking at me like that!" Shinji shouted.

The boy's head snapped to attention, his gaze now firmly locked onto hers. He ripped the money out of her hand and threw it to the floor where it landed with a soft thud. The bills scattered, littering the kitchen floor.

Asuka flinched back as if struck. Eyes wide. She had never seen the spineless loser actually get angry.

Shinji was panting, his hands clenched into fists. The money Misato had left them forgotten as the room filled with so much unfiltered tension that it left them breathless.

"You're crazy," Asuka whispered without meaning to.

The boy shook, flinching as if wounded, by those two words.

"No. No, I'm not. Not anymore," Shinji said in a low almost dangerous voice.

Asuka stood silent. She didn't know what to say. She had hurt him with those words. She hadn't meant to do that. She had never meant to treat him like this. She... she didn't know why she did it. She knew nothing else.

"I take my medicine. All this time you've lived here and you never cared until now. You know me. You were never nervous before, you never even cared about me," Shinji said.

"That's not true. I... I care-" Asuka began.

"Liar. I don't know what I did to you. I know you hate me. But please... just stop it. Don't look at me like that," Shinji said, his voice shaking.

"I don't hate-" Asuka whispered, so low that Shinji couldn't hear her.

"Fine. You don't have to be nice to me. We don't have to be friends. Whatever, I don't care anymore. I know you hate me but I saved your life! The least you could do is treat me like a person and not a time bomb! I'm not insane anymore. I knew what I was. I knew that I was messed up in the head!" Shinji said shouting.

Asuka shrunk before his words and cold stare. She backed into the kitchen wall as Shinji called her out. He was angry, she'd never seen him angry before. A part of her wanted to lash out, to punch him in his stupid face, but another part of her told her that he was right.

She didn't know what to do. So she stood there, unable to act.

"I saved you," Shinji spat, voice bitter and hard.

All of this, the military getting mad at him, the house arrest, the session with Dr. Page, all of this started because he chose to help Asuka when no one else could.

Some dark part of him thought that maybe he should have left her in that volcano. That he should have obeyed orders and evacuated with the others when the N2 mine was being dropped.

But no, in the end, he would have saved Asuka again. Every time he would have made the same decision because it was the right thing to do.

Shinji scowled and walked off. Leaving Asuka in the kitchen alone.

He didn't bother to say goodbye as he disappeared in his room to cool off. He couldn't remember ever being so angry. Something in him had just snapped. He saved Asuka's life, and she repaid him by treating him like a freak.

...

Back in the kitchen, Asuka stared at the floor unable to process her emotions.

"I did thank you. I did. I told you after the hearing... " Asuka whispered. It was too little too late, Shinji was gone and she was all alone. Why did this always happen?

She left the kitchen and headed for her room. The money Misato had left them completely forgotten. Asuka didn't end up eating dinner that day. Later, when Misato made her way home she would wonder why the kids had thrown the money on the floor.

---

The next day at the apartment there was so much tension around the kitchen that no one spoke for several minutes. Misato could tell something had happened between Shinji and Asuka, but neither seemed willing to talk about it and they ate breakfast in silence.

Misato had tried talking to Shinji but he hadn't been in a good mood.

She'd had to see them off wondering what the hell had happened whilst she was gone. Misato took that as a lesson that maybe she shouldn't have gone drinking with Ritsuko after all.

She went off to work reminding them that they had sync tests scheduled for today. All four Eva Pilots were to report to the Geofront after school.

…

Hours later

When Shinji, Rei, and Asuka arrived at the Geofront for their sync test, they found Mari there first.

The oldest Eva pilot had arrived before all three of them, and she was currently fiddling with the terminal that unlocked the main entrance to the train cars, the vehicles that brought them to Nerv. It was key-card locked, only Nerv personal could even open the door.

"What are you doing psycho?! Open the door!" Asuka said in greeting.

Mari kicked the terminal saying, "stupid thing won't turn on."

"Let me try," Asuka said brushing the older girl to the side as she tried to swipe her card.

"Hey Mari, how's it going. Thanks for the pudding," Shinji said as Mari scoffed at being brushed aside.

"Fine. And I knew you'd like it, dummy. Just for old time's sake," Mari said moving to give Shinji a one-armed embrace that he returned.

"Your note made me laugh, thanks for that," Shinji said smiling up at her.

"House arrests sucks. I know, same thing happened to me remember? I didn't want to leave you empty-handed out there. My advice, try to stay busy," Mari said.

"What note?" Rei asked suddenly.

The pale girl was watching both of them as they talked, and Shinji didn't know why he felt awkward but he did.

"Mari left me some pudding. It's a long story. We used to eat that a lot as kids," Shinji said with a shrug.

"I see," Rei said completely deadpan.

"Gotta take care of my dummy," Mari said giving Shinji an affectionate pat on the chest.

Rei nodded slowly at that, her eyes downcast.

Shinji looked between the two girls wondering what was going on. It seemed like both Eva teams had problems.

Why did the adults choose a bunch of teenagers to save the world? Uh yeah, something about the Eva's sync limts. Sigh... the boy thought.

"The terminal won't turn on! Something's happened," Asuka said. She'd been trying just as Mari had to open the door, but the terminal was completely dead. No power and as such their Nerv cards were useless.

Shinji glanced back at Asuka. The German prodigy met his gaze for a moment before they both looked away. Tension, tension, it was everyone these days.

He walked past Asuka muttering, "let me try."

She moved out of his way, and when he tried swiping his Nerv card into the terminal nothing happened.

The power is out. You need to find another way in. You need to get to your Evangelion Units. The thing in his head stirred.

"Power's out. Anyone know another way in, I don't like this. The eggheads that built this place made it to last," Mari said growing serious.

"The Geofront has many underground tunnels that lead to and from various parts of the city surface. Perhaps we can find a way to others and see what has happened," Rei said thinking things over.

"Right. I'll lead the way," Asuka said before Mari could.

"Do you even know where you're going?" Mari asked crossing her arms.

"I'm the leader," Asuka said walking off without waiting for a reply.

Shinji sighed as he exchanged glances with Rei and Mari.

You need to hurry, boy. An Angel has appeared. It's coming.

What? An Angel? How... how would that thing know? He thought starting to panic.

I've never been wrong before. Not once.

"Look! The city's going into defensive mode. An Angel must have appeared!" Asuka said pointing to the parts of the city visible in the distance.

The four Eva pilots looked and saw the buildings sinking down into bunkers underneath, no doubt the civilians moving to their nearest shelters according to their drills.

"They're gonna need the Evas. We have to get to Nerv," Mari said striding forward with Asuka to find another way in.

Shinji and Rei followed after them. They needed to stick together in a time like this.

---

In Nerv itself

"The power is out. That should be impossible. Three back-up generators," Sub Commander Fuyutsuki said, confused.

"We're working on it. Gonna have to use manual labor for mostly... everything," Ritsuko said.

A lot of Nerv staff were handing out flashlights to each other. Ritsuko and her team had been about to conduct an experiment with Unit 00 when suddenly the whole compound lost power.

Commander Gendo Ikari stood still and silent in the darkened room of the hangar, listening to his Sub Commander speaking with the staff.

This was sabotage. There is no way for this to happen naturally. Gendo thought.

The Director of Nerv stood watching over the Eva Units, looming over the gathered employees working below.

"Where is Captain Katsuragi? I have a feeling we will need the Evas," Gendo said suddenly.

Ritsuko and Fuyutsuki turned to him as he spoke, the other Nerv staff quieting at the sound of their commander's voice.

"We... don't know. She could be in any number of places. Some doors can't be manually opened... " Ritsuko said.

…

"Hey! Someone let me out!" Misato shouted.

She was stuck in an elevator, she'd been heading up when the power went off trapping her inside and unable to safely open the doors.

Misato tried the emergency phone but it was dead. She'd just have to wait until the power came on or someone came to get her.

…

"Out of the way!" a voice called as a car drove past the massive hangar of Nerv. A staff member returning from above who had gone to the surface to see what was going on.

Gendo turned as the man got the attention of the higher staff.

"The whole city's lost power. Tokyo-03 is stuck in the middle of its defensive mode. Some buildings made it down into the bunkers but not all," the man was shouting.

The people should be fine inside their shelters. For now, at least, Ritsuko thought.

"And an Angel has been spotted inside the city. It's what set the alarms off just before the power died. Just about the worst time for power failure," the Nerv man was shouting for people to hear.

An Angel! Now of all times! We need the Evas! Ritsuko thought.

Murmurs began filling the heavily occupied and barely lit hangar. It was one of the only places in the entire Geofront with working lights at all.

"Silence."

When Gendo spoke within the compound, all others listen. A useful trick he'd learned from Keel of all people.

"We will begin preparing the Evas manually. The pilots are nowhere to be found, but they'll get there. They know their duty. I will assist in the operation myself," Gendo said. He took off his glasses, put them in his pocket, and began ordering the technicians around.

…

Meanwhile on the surface of Tokyo-03

The strange spider-like Angel known as Matarael stalked the city. It had four long and sharp limbs that moved its relatively small body forward. Its limbs were the length of entire buildings as it took long strides towards Nerv.

It met no challenge or threat along its path. It did not care for it knew that the Lilin posed little threat.

---

Somewhere in the complex

They found a way down into the man-made tunnels.

Whilst the Eva pilots didn't know the entire way to there, they knew that one path would eventually take them to Nerv HQ.

All four teenagers strode through the various tunnels of the enormous complex. Asuka still didn't talk to Shinji, and that was fine with him. She was intent on being 'the leader' and directing them through the tunnels.

If Shinji was being honest, he thought she didn't know where she was going.

To make things worse, some exits led further down while others led back onto the surface. They really had no idea where they were going, and they had to reach Nerv.

Mari didn't seem to mind, she hummed to herself as they walked, occasionally arguing with Asuka about which path to take. Rei mostly stayed silent, she seemed almost awkward staying in the back with Shinji.

"Shinji," Rei whispered to him softly.

"Yeah?"

"I believe we are going the wrong way. I read the maps before. It has been some time but we should have taken a left not a right some time ago," Rei whispered softly to him.

"Whoa. Why didn't you say anything earlier?" Shinji asked blinking in surprise.

"I was not sure, and you were humming along with Mari. I did not want to intrude," Rei said looking away for a brief moment.

Shinji shook his head. He liked Rei, he liked her a lot, but sometimes he wished she would just speak her mind.

"Hey. I think we're going the wrong way," he called.

Asuka stopped walking and Mari followed suit as both girls turned to look at him. Mari with a plain expression on her face, ready to listen. Asuka looking more annoyed than anything else.

It was the first time they'd spoken since their fight in the kitchen last night.

"Well, if the Golden Child. Mr. 95% thinks it's the wrong way then we should listen, right?" Asuka said crossing her arms.

Some girls don't like to be wrong. She doesn't mean to lash out. Truly, she doesn't.

"Rei said she studied the maps. It's been a while for her, but she thinks we're headed the wrong way," Shinji said crossing his arms too.

He didn't want to argue. He didn't want to fight. Some partner of his. He saved her life and here they were arguing during the middle of something serious.

Mari stepped between them saying, "hold on. What 95%?"

"It was my sync ratio when I stopped the N2 mine at Mount Asama," Shinji answered with a shrug. He didn't take pride in it because he didn't know if he could do it again, he really hadn't known how it had happened.

Mari beamed at him saying, "dude! 95%! I didn't know you had that in you."

Shinji couldn't help himself and he laughed softly. Mari raised a hand, fist up. Shinji 'fist bumped' Mari's hand with his, a small smile emerging onto his face.

"That's my boy," Mari said smirking at him.

Rei was watching them but said nothing.

"Oh my god! Get a room you two!" Asuka shouted to Shinji and Mari.

"We are missing the point. I believe we are going the wrong way," Rei said interrupting everyone.

Shinji was about to agree, saying that this was not the time to be arguing, but then his head started hurting so much he thought was going to fall over.

He stumbled, wincing. He found himself crouching, hands clutching his head and fighting the urge to scream.

The Angel is near! It knows you're here. It's coming for us For you. Get back!

"Whoa, you alright?" Mari said growing serious and holding Shinji up as he almost fell over.

Asuka didn't notice as she argued with Rei saying, "I'm sure we're close. Look, let's just see what's on the other side of this door."

Rei wasn't paying attention, she moved to Shinji concerned as he held his head.

Asuka opened the door ahead of them and found to her surprise, the surface of Tokyo-03. Asuka groaned as she stepped outside trying to get a better look of where they were.

Only she stopped dead in her tracks, breath caught in her throat at the sight before her.

The Angel, a strange spider-like creature with four massive and long limbs carrying a single body the size of an airplane. It turned from where it stood and looked right at her.

It was covered in black plate-armor like skin with strange 'eyes' covering its main body whilst its legs bent bringing it closer and closer to her.

"Angel... " Asuka hissed. She hurried back into the tunnel and slammed the door shut.

CLANG.

"Asuka. Get back," The Other Shinji said. The Other reached forward and shoved Asuka hard to the side... moments before a strange black limb came crashing through the door.

BOOM.

The door exploded open in a spray of metal and concrete. Shrapnel was sent flying in all directions. The limbs narrowly missed Asuka by her hair as the Other Shinji rolled to the side after shoving her away.

"Oh my god!" Asuka shouted in German. She slammed into the floor as the tip of the Angel's limb lay inside the tunnel with them. An impromptu cross between a drill and a blade that had completely smashed through the Nerv tunnel, reaching inside for teenagers within.

"Ahhhhh, Shinji moaned, his voice slurred as he lost time. He came back to himself, blinking as he realized that the Angel had just tried to crush them.

"Rei! Don't just sit there! Move!" Mari shouted.

The older girl tackled Rei off to the side as the Angel moved its limb back and forth trying get at them. Both girls landed near Asuka, on the other side of the intruder.

Shinji lay across from them.

The Angel's limb lay between him and the other pilots. Separating him from the others. With heavy thuds, the spider-like leg thrashed around through the tunnel retracting its way back out of the tunnel.

You can't stay here. MOVE.

"Shinji! Take my hand!" Mari shouted jumping to her feet, she was fast. She started moving just as the Angel started withdrawing its sharp limb from the opened tunnel.

Jump back now.

Shinji paused for a half a second... the thing in his head had helped him in the past... so instead of taking Mari's hand he shoved her back and jumped the other way.

BOOM.

The Angel's limb came crashing back into the tunnel. It broke through more of the wall and tore an even wider hole into the tunnel. A second earlier and it would have impaled both Shinji and Mari turning them into a fine paste. Like a massive spear ripping apart their tunnel to get at its prey.

Thick heavy walls of concrete and steel cracked and bent, the sound was deafening. The roar overshadowed any of their screams, and dust and shrapnel went flying covering the area in debris.

"Shinji... " Rei whispered her eyes wide.

He landed on his face in the dirt from the collapsing tunnel. Shinji hurriedly got to his feet just as the Angel began retracting its long limb again. He was panting, his heart pounding in his chest, as he tried to think of how to get back to the others.

Mari got to her feet, snapping out to attention just as the Angel withdrew its limb for another strike. The older girl poked her head out and peeked at the opening that formed between the tunnel and the surface, trying to get a look at the Angel, trying to help him time it right to get back to them.

"Mari. Get back," Other Shinji said.

Mari stepped back just as strange acid began seeping in, burning its way through the ceiling of their tunnel.

Rei watched him as Shinji ran further back, forced to put more distance between him and the others. Acid burned its way inches from where he had been standing. The acid didn't stop, it fell the ground and kept burning, creating another barrier between Shinji and the others.

"I... Shinji run. Run! We'll find a way to help!" Mari started shouting. Her eyes were wide, she was shouting at him, begging him to move.

Run Shinji.

"Ah. I can- I'm gonna run," Shinji said lamely. He panted as he felt himself having a small panic attack, an Angel was literally feet from them outside. Thankfully it was too big to fit inside their tunnel. Unfortunately, that didn't stop the creature from trying to crush or burn them out.

It shoots acid. It's trying to burn us to death! Shinji thought barely able to think.

Matarael. Strange, he's stronger this time. Before, he was the weakest of his brethren.

"Run!" Asuka shouted at him.

Run.

Acid began burning through the ceiling just as the Angel's limb came crashing through the tunnel wall, ripping another hole into the twisted metal and concrete.

And so Shinji ran. He ran away in the only direction he could, deeper and deeper into the tunnels. He only hoped he could find somewhere deep enough that the Angel couldn't reach him or else another way to the city's surface where he would be an ant hiding from an elephant.

He heard Mari calling after him. Telling him that she'd come back and find him. That he would be okay. Shinji didn't look back as he ran. He couldn't look back, not with the sound of collapsing walls behind him.

…

"We have to go after him," Rei said in a low voice, getting to her feet.

"Yeah. Shit! That acid is still burning the floor. We need to find a way across," Mari said. She took a deep breath and poked her head out of the massive hole in the tunnel wall, she peeked into the outside and saw the Angel walking further down.

The monster was leaving them behind, completely ignoring them and... heading for Shinji.

"It's following him. The damn thing is following him... what the fuc..." Mari said panic in her voice.

"We can't follow after him," Asuka said slowly.

Mari and Rei both turned back to stare at her. Mari pissed, and Rei in shock. The only sound came from the collapsing tunnel that had once been part of the massive maze they'd tried to navigate.

"We can't help him like this! It's an Angel!" Asuka shouted, grabbing Mari by the shoulders.

Mari stared open-mouthed at her.

Asuka scowled letting Mari go.

"We... we need the Evas. That's the only way we can help Shinji," Asuka said.

Swallowing her pride, she turned to Rei saying, "you said you know the way back to Nerv. I was wrong."

Rei nodded saying, "I believe so."

"Lead the way. We're gonna have to run so I hope you're in shape," Asuka said.

The three girls nodded as Rei took the lead running back the way they came. Ahead, the path Shinji had been forced to take, was blocked to them by the lingering acid. They would have to go back to that wrong turn they had made and correct their mistake.

---

Sometime later

Shinji ran and ran. For minutes perhaps or maybe even hours. The adrenaline made him process time strangely. He couldn't breathe. He could hear the Angel moving, could hear the acid burning through the ceiling, could hear the limbs as they came crashing through the walls.

He hoped the Angel wasn't smart enough to cut his path off ahead. If it blocked his path forward and there were no turns, he would be trapped. Luckily, it was too big and he was too small, the Angel couldn't know where he was exactly.

Shinji ran and ran. He took turns when he saw them, never knowing where they led. And eventually, he came to a single door. Not knowing what to do, Shinji opened it and rushed through hoping that it wasn't a dead end.

Instead, Shinji found himself on the surface of Tokyo-03.

He emerged onto an empty street. Something was going on with the city's power, some of the buildings hadn't completely sunk into their bunkers, but Shinji didn't care at the moment.

He walked along the surface barely able to breathe, he wasn't in good shape. He'd only outran the Angel because it couldn't know his exact location and because of the adrenaline following through his veins.

The city was a ghost town. An eerie place that did nothing to help the panic rising throughout his body.

He ran along the empty streets, the street lights completely dead and deprived of power. He turned a corner and found himself amid a tourists district. Stores and various empty restaurants stood before him like a scene from one of Kensuke's stupid post-apocalyptic films.

Something was wrong with the city. Why hadn't this city block sunk below with the other defensive procedures? It was like the power had cut off mid-process.

Shinji didn't know where to go from here. The city was a big place, a lot of places to hide but he didn't know if it was safe to stay in one spot. He could pick a store to hide in or else keep going?

The boy wandered through the empty city, every second weighing on him as he imagined the Angel reappearing to crush him or burn him to death. He was panicking, he couldn't think straight.

He didn't have his Eva and the Angel was on the loose. It wasn't fair, he was just a kid!

THUD

THUD

THUD

Shinji's heart stopped. He whirled around and saw the Angel emerging from a pair of tall half deployed defensive pillars. The pillars that were meant to provide cover for the Evangelions.

Breathe. Just run. Run. You have to run.

Its eyes... why does it have so many eyes? Shinji thought in horror. The strange Angel loomed over him, its long limbs suspending its airplane sized body in the air. Its 'torso' littered with what looked like white eyes.

Only one of the eyes is real. Shinji. Run.

Shinji backed up as the Angel towered over him. He started panicking and he tripped falling onto his back as the Angel approached.

The Other Shinji stirred. He took control, and the Other rose from the floor standing tall and silent on his feet.

"Forgive me, boy. This is going to hurt you. But it is the only way," Other said.

The Angel came for the boy, its attention locked on the lone figure standing in the empty city block.

Other Shinji closed his eyes and raised his head. Hands spread out open towards the sky. From an outsider's perspective, he appeared as a man deep in prayer.

I have no tomorrow. But there's still hope for the future. He thought to himself. A small prayer of sorts that Other told himself.

The Angel paused, standing frozen on the surface of Tokyo-03, watching the Other Shinji as he stood completely fearless.

Other Shinji turned his hand towards the direction of the Geofront, to where Nerv was settled underneath. He spread out his senses. His hand pulsed and twitched as if something unseen was bursting forth. The Other pulled his hand back as if tugging on an invisible thread.

...

Elsewhere.
Far far away. To the Geofront and underneath Nerv, to the deepest levels of the hidden floors, to the secret lab.

The Adam Sample, the strange embryo-like being that was the remains of the First Angel, stirred.

The frozen flesh convulsed, twitching back and forth within its prison. If Adam could have screamed, he would have. The strange bundle of preserved cells twitched and flailed in sheer pain. If Adam had a mouth he would have roared his agony.

CRUNCH.

A single long crack emerged in the two layers of frozen dura-bakelite that was its container, the prison which held the First Angel. Adam twitched, fidgeting as if in a seizure.

…

Other Shinji opened his eyes to find the Angel known as Matarael standing before him.

The Angel had used its limbs to lower itself down to his level. It stood less than 10 feet from him.

Matarael stood frozen and unsure of itself for the first time in its existence. It felt... fear. Utterly terrified of what was standing right in front of it. The Angel's eye widened, the lone pupil dilating as the sheer cold horror enveloped its being.

Other Shinji strode forward unblinkingly. The boy's eyes turning red as blood started seeping into them. Other stood on the very edge of seizure, pushing Shinji the boy to his limit.

Matarael felt the urge to attack. To impale Other, to crush him, to spit acid and burn him to death yet the Angel found that it could not. Much like a human, it stood frozen, shut down by that being before it.

The Other Shinji raised a hand and placed it on the Angel's 'real' eye, the boy's palm running across the Angel flesh. It was as if he holding Matarael in place. And then... the thing inside the boy spoke.

---

Nerv Hangar

"Here we are," Rei said panting as she led them through the air vents of Nerv. She found the panel she was looking for. Then putting her foot onto it, she braced her hands on either side of the vent.

Rei kicked the panel open, ripping it from its bolts and sending it flying to the floor.

"Whoa! We got something over here!" a voice called from below.

"We found Nerv. Good job Rei," Asuka said panting as she crawled through the vent from behind her.

Rei nodded and jumped down landing in the middle of a terminal station inside Nerv's hangar.

A group of startled staff gasped as Rei emerged onto the scene. The lights were dim but active. The hangar was a hub of activity as one of the only functioning sections of the compound.

"Rei?" Ritsuko said in relief as she spotted the source of the commotion.

The staff pointed their flashlights at the First Child.

Rei turned and helped Asuka as the German girl dropped down and landed with a soft thud.

Before Asuka had even gotten a proper footing, Mari jumped down too landing beside her and rolling.

"Uhh!" Asuka cried as the older girl came within a hair of landing on her.

Rei only stared at Mari in bewilderment.

"We're here. We need the Evas up and running now!" Mari called getting to her feet. Her eyes wild and frantic, serious for once.

"They're ready for launch. We don't have power but we prepped them manually. Entry plugs are ready with your plugsuits are inside them," Ritsuko said emerging onto the scene.

"Ritsuko. Where's Misato?" Asuka asked quickly as she took in the state of the hangar. Little to no power, barely enough to keep the lights on. And the Nerv staff all carrying flashlights as teams of people moved to unbolt the Evas by hand.

"We don't know. Power's out and there's a million places she could be trapped in. Look, there's Angel out there and-" Ritsuko began.

"We know. The four of us ran into it on the way over here."

Ritsuko stared as Mari cut in, then without waiting for a response the oldest pilot continued, "Shinji got separated and it went after him. We're suiting up now. No time for chit chat."

Before any of the other pilots or adults could stop her, the wild girl leaped over the safety railing and ran off towards Eva Unit 03.

What?! Ritsuko and the other stunned Nerv staff thought.

"All hands. We're deploying the Evas now," Commander Gendo Ikari said, his cold voice echoing across the hangar. If he cared for his missing son at all, no one could say.

Asuka and Rei did the same, jumping over the railing and running after their Evas. All three girls got into their entry plugs and quickly changed into their plugsuits from the privacy of their machines.

It took some time to get the Evas deployed manually. And every second felt like an hour to Asuka. She gritted her teeth and closed her eyes as she sat inside Unit 02.

Shinji... I'm sorry, she thought.

"Deploying now!" Ritsuko called into the comm.

The Evas were not shot up from their launch pads, but rather were completely unbolted from their shackles and turned 'on' with the use of battery packs.

"Let's go!" Asuka shouted into the comm. She took charge as leader of the hastily made Eva team.

All three Evas climbed up their launch pads and landed atop the surface of the city.

"The Angel is big. Shouldn't be hard to find the ugly bastard," Mari said as Eva Unit 03 flexed its arms. Always ready for a fight.

Rei stood beside Asuka in her Eva, Unit 00 beside 02.

"Let's head out. Stay in contact," Asuka said into the comm.

The three of them spread out, their mission to find and kill the Angel. To find out what happened to Shinji.

Asuka reached a hand up and momentarily turned off her comm so no one could hear her.

"Stupid Shinji. This time... I save you," Asuka whispered.

---

Super long, it's a bad habit.
The next few Angel battles after this will not be as focused, but this one is important.

Just a quick clarification. Asuka's mother was in a completely different mental ward than Shinji, there is no connection.

It might seem odd that Shinji finally snapped at Asuka here, but he's altered in this timeline and I wanted to write that argument/fight from Asuka's perspective more than Shinji's. It's already been established that this Shinji hates the stigma that comes from his 'condition' and it kinda goes into his whole thing about being 'accepted' and people being nice to him. So I tried to focus more on Asuka.

Asuka doesn't exactly hate Shinji, she just doesn't know how to be nice and tends to push people away.

Thanks for Reading and please Review!