Hey guys, I'm back. Wish I could update sooner but I'm a college student and I get busy.
This is a very character focused chapter. Long, but stick with it. It's worth it.
Here we are, Makinami II
"There are days I feel so old. Maybe I am too harsh, but the young are so foolish. They do not understand. They are so short sighted. Unable to see the long road ahead. 'This' is my fault. I tried to do the right thing, to help. But I made things worse. Even I can't plan for everything"
- the broken man
Somewhere in Tokyo 3
Night
"Would you look at that? Hard to believe how big these Angels can get" Kaji said with a small whistle.
"Hard to believe it takes an N2 mine to even wound them. Let alone an Eva to take them down" the agent from the Japanese Ministry of the Interior said calmly. She was staring up at the corpse before them.
Kaji and her were standing amid a rather spread out crowd of people milling about the night, most of them having just recently been released from their shelters. The power for most of the city was still out, but small sections of the city had power along with some street lights up and running.
The two spies stood watching the corpse of the strange spider like Angel, with two of its long legs torn out from it's body, lying unceremoniously in the middle of a junction near the 'heart' of the city. Crews of construction teams were 'cutting' the Angle corpse into pieces so the military could air lift them out, or else haul them off to Nerv for research. The process took hours, but the damage to the streets would take time to repair, traffic would be 'difficult' for weeks to come as people would be forced to take different routes.
"I've had reports from Nerv. The Second Child reported that the Angel was vomiting blood when she found it. It was sick and disoriented." Kaji whispered to his 'partner'.
"How is that possible?" she asked turning to look at him with wide eyes.
"Your guess is as good as mine. There are too many things we don't know. Plot within plots, secrets within secrets, this job makes you paranoid" Kaji said coolly.
The agent turned to stare at the Angel corpse again, stare even as some people got over the shock of the monster lying dead in their city and started heading home.
"Any idea what caused the power outage?" Kaji asked.
The two of them started walking off. Looking like just another pair of friends or a couple heading home after the danger was over, blending in with all the others.
"No, it wasn't us if that's what you were thinking. Turning the power off wouldn't help us get answers from Nerv" the agent walking beside Kaji said.
"What was so urgent that we had to meet. If the power hadn't gone out, I'd have had to find an excuse for taking off from work." Kaji said smoking a cigarette.
Others had started joining the two of them on the streets, people leaving the shelters and going about their nights as best they could.
"We did some digging like you asked to. I believe that there's a cover up around the Third Child." the agent said darkly.
"A cover up?" Kaji asked.
The agent nodded, shivering in the cold night air. Kaji would have offered her his jacket, but he knew his fellow agent wouldn't have accepted it. She was the scariest woman he knew, and he glad to have her as a partner because of it.
"I don't think Shinji Ikari has a mental illness." she said.
"... what? The hearing? They-" Kaji stammered, honestly surprised at that.
"We have contacts in the medical industry who looked at Shinji's hospital files. We discovered they've been altered by the facility he spent five years in. Any hospital doctor can look at his files, but when they look at his supposed MRI, well... we have reason to believe that those MRI's don't belong to him. Someone switched his files out. That way even doctors would go along with their story of schizophrenia. Nerv or SEELE, we're not sure which, has the 'real' ones." the Agent said.
"Mighty illegal. Tampering with medical files like that" Kaji said.
The agent smirked saying "when has that ever stopped them? Whatever Shinji Ikari is, he is not insane. We're looking into it, but right now we have a job for you."
Kaji shook his head and hurried to keep pace with her as they walked the dark streets of Tokyo-3.
"Nerv has found something in Antarctica. Whatever it is, it's big. They're arranging transport for it soon, when it arrives we want you to find out what is. We don't wanna risk getting too close, but you're already working for Nerv and Commander Ikari." the Agent said turning to look at Kaji.
"I'll get it done, but give me time. I don't want to tip anyone off, I'll do it my way and it'll be safer for it" Kaji said smirking.
The agent stopped walking and had to grab Kaji by the wrist to stop him from moving on.
"Be careful. Whatever happened with the power is going to put Nerv on edge. Whatever their reasons, it's very likely that Nerv and SEELE do not have the same goals. There's tension there." she said.
"I know. I'll be careful." Kaji said oddly serious for once, dropping his charming persona.
The agent then let him go and went off on her way.
Nerv Infirmary
"Damn. It's like you went out of your way to deliberately hurt yourself as much as possible when you fell"
That was what the medical staff had told Shinji after examining his injured head. They cleaned the wound and wrapped bandages around his forehead, then gave him some eye-drops for the trauma to his eyes.
"How could you not close your eyes when you fell? What kind of idiot leaves their eyes open as they slam into the pavement?"
That was the second thing the staff had told him. If Shinji wasn't so stunned over what happened in the last 24 hours, he would have thought the medical staff didn't like him. His first kiss... he was still in awe of it. He had a habit of running his fingers across his lips. But then he stopped when Misato asked him if his lips were busted or if he was in pain.
"No. I'm doing okay" Shinji said for the countless time. He was sitting up on the infirmary bed, Misato had wanted to send him to a hospital for further inspection, but Shinji and the medical staff had said he didn't need it. Shinji felt fine.
Misato was sitting by his bedside having brought him some food, and having waited by his side as he ate.
"I was really worried about you, you know." Misato said running a hand through his hair and feeling the wrapped bandages around his forehead. Misato sighed adding "keep this up and you're going to give me wrinkles."
"Everyone gets old. I think you'll be okay, you're a very pretty lady Misato" Shinji said with a shrug.
Misato gave him a raised eyebrow and Shinji realized that maybe he shouldn't have said that. His guardian laughed at him remarking that he was such a 'gentlemen'.
"Uh, is... is Mari still here?" Shinji asked suddenly.
"No, we let the pilots go home. Nerv sent an escort to make sure they made it home, the city is still out of power for the most part. Better to be safe." Misato said with a shrug. Misato knew that she probably should have checked on Asuka, but she was better with Shinji and he was the one whom had been hurt.
Shinji nodded feeling disappointed. He wanted to see Mari again and... and he didn't know what else.
"Hey, you sure you're alright" Misato asked noticing his change in mood.
"I don't feel any pain. I feel... numb to be honest. Shock maybe? But I'm calm." Shinji said slowly, having to think about what he was feeling to answer.
"Don't be doing the tough guy act on me, if you're in pain it's okay." Misato said.
"I feel fine. Just tired, can we go home?" Shinji asked.
"Alright. I think you deserve a long night's rest after everything that happened. Let's head home" Misato said smiling softly at him.
Shinji got to his feet, noticing that Misato seemed to watch him in case he stumbled and fell, and started to follow after her.
Misato's apartment
"Home, sweet home." Misato said as they entered the apartment.
Shinji started for his room almost immediately, he felt so tired and he didn't know why. Asuka must have gone to bed since she didn't stick around to greet them. Misato knew something was up with them, but neither kid wanted to talk about it.
"Goodnight Shinji. Try to take it easy" Misato called after him.
Once inside, Shinji collapsed on his bed completely forgetting to take his pills.
…
When Shinji Ikari woke up, his head wasn't hurting. And for once, the 'thing' in his head did not stir.
"No dreams... no... anything" Shinji said slowly. He awkwardly got up realizing that he still felt 'numb' around a lot of his body.
He got up, took a shower being careful to protect his bandages, got dressed, and went to the kitchen to start making everyone breakfast. Shinji remembered to put food in Pen Pen's bowl, and he was setting the table when Asuka walked in already dressed in her school uniform.
"Heard you fell" Asuka said in greeting, staring at the bandages wrapped around his forehead.
"I don't really remember it. It's a blur, I ran for a long time" Shinji said not meeting her eyes.
He still remembered their fight in this very kitchen. She had saved him, well Mari and Rei too, but he'd heard how Asuka had taken charge.
Shinji fully expected her to mock him about running away, but the taunt never came. He looked up at her in quiet surprise only to find her avoiding his gaze. Well, that was odd.
"You okay? I... we need someone around the house who can actually cook" Asuka said seeming to struggle to get the words out.
Did... did she just say I was good at cooking? Shinji thought.
He ran a finger along the bandages around his head.
"It doesn't hurt" Shinji said truthfully.
Asuka nodded then took a seat at the breakfast table, and grabbed a plate of food Shinji had made without saying thanks. She started eating without waiting for Shinji and Misato to join. And when Shinji told her that they were supposed to eat together now, Asuka shrugged and kept eating anyway.
"Just eat. We don't have to do what Misato says just because she's the oldest." Asuka said.
"... she's trying to be a better 'parent'. She wants us to eat together" Shinji said slowly.
Asuka shrugged saying "not doing a very good job."
Shinji was about to respond that Misato was the best parent he had had in years, but the words got caught in his throat. Old memories stirred when Shinji thought about the lack of adult figures in his life, but he tried to let that go. He had Misato now, and she cared about him in a way that no other adult had.
Just then, Misato walked into the kitchen saying "Shinji?! Sigh, I told you to take it easy. I could have made us breakfast."
"I was already up." Shinji said simply.
Misato walked over to him, glancing at his bandages, checking if the wound had started bleeding again but it hadn't. Shinji felt fine and no one seemed to believe him.
"Jeez, stop babying him already." Asuka muttered from the table.
"Asuka, not now. And you're eating?! We're supposed to eat together now" Misato said rolling her eyes at the girl.
Asuka sighed and stopped, waiting for Shinji and Misato to join her at the breakfast table.
It ended up being another awkward meal between the three of them. Shinji was still under house arrest, and though he wanted to go to school Misato told him that he was being given the day off because of his head injury.
And once again, Shinji found himself all alone inside an empty apartment. Asuka having left for school, and Misato having gone to work.
In moments like these, Shinji realized just how much he had started to change since coming to Tokyo-3. He had 'friends' and sometimes went out with them, and then he had Mari too. Mari to take him on some crazy adventure just like they were kids in the ward again. To... to kiss him.
He wasn't exactly outgoing, even with the changes, but he'd been more 'alive' in a sense. Now, he was back to being a shut-in with too much time on his hands.
Not even the thing inside his head stirred. That should have made him happy, right? No voice telling him to do things, offering 'its' input when he didn't ask for it. But no...now he really was alone.
Lunch time
Elsewhere, school
"Excuse me" the strange pale girl said.
Asuka and Hikari turned to see Rei following closely behind them as they left the halls heading for a place to eat.
"First Child?" Asuka said slowly. Rei and Asuka never really talked, to be honest Rei only really 'talked' to Shinji. In fact, it was making a small scene. Asuka was considered one of, if not, the most beautiful girls in the school, and rightfully so in Asuka's mind, and was considered one of the popular kids whilst Rei... was not.
"How is Shinji? He was not in class today?" Rei asked staring unblinkingly at nothing in particular as she spoke to them.
"You saw the idiot leave the entry plug with the psycho, he hit his head and got hurt. 'Mama Misato' made him stay home" Asuka said with a shrug. Why did everyone always ask about freaking Shinji of all people. It's like people went out of their way to 'baby' him.
We killed the Angel and our reward was to go to school the next day. Stupid Shinji falls and gets the day off Asuka thought. She told herself that she was annoyed with the boy, but in reality she was finding it hard to be angry at him. The idiot just had to be so... so 'nice' to everyone.
"Then he will need his worksheets for the day. Please remind him to do his work, as he is under house arrest I can not help him." Rei said talking to Hikari more than Asuka.
"Hmm, that's so sweet of you Rei. Always checking on Shinji. I'll get his worksheets together before classes are over" Hikari said. She gave Rei a knowing smile.
Rei only tilted her head at that.
I swear, if it wasn't for the idiot actually getting her to talk then I'd think she was just a doll Asuka thought offhandedly.
"Thank you" Rei said before turning to leave.
"What a strange girl." Hikari said watching Rei leave, before turning to Asuka and asking "Shinji's under house arrest?"
Asuka crossed her arms at the twinge of guilt in her chest, she knew Shinji wasn't all that bad but everyone went out of their way for him and it really started to tick her off.
"It's a long story. Can't tell it though" Asuka said remembering the events at Mount Asama.
Hikari flashed a small grin at her saying "a secret thing? Well, as long as Shinji is okay. So, miss super secret awesome Eva pilot, where should we eat?"
Asuka smirked at that. Hikari was just about the 'nicest' person she knew, and somehow she was still cooler than Shinji. Maybe 'cool' wasn't the right word, but Hikari was a strange mix of mature beyond her years, at times super serious, and yet every now and again teasing with her friends.
"Outside" Asuka answered as she and Hikari walked on.
…
After school
Nerv Testing Room
"Alright. Hold your Eva's hand up and focus" Asuka was saying over the comm.
Eva Unit 00 raised its hand whilst Units 02 and 03 watched on.
"You're doing fine Rei. Just focus" Misato said over the comm.
Rei tilted her head at that, but did not reply.
"Unit 00's sync ratio holding at 50%." Ritsuko said standing behind the safety glass beside Misato. Shinji and now Asuka's work with AT Fields had driven Commander Ikari to demand that all pilots began training to use them.
A brilliant flash of protective octagons erupted into existence before Rei and her Eva. Only the shield was not stable, the light flickered in and out as the AT Field struggled to maintain its form.
"Focus wondergirl" Asuka said into the comm. The German girl watching with her arms crossed inside her Eva.
"Come on Rei! Hold it together!" Mari shouted into the comm. The older girl seemed to be in a really really good mood lately, and Asuka did not know or care why.
"I am trying. Please do not distract me" Rei called back into the comm, glancing at Mari and her Eva in particular.
Asuka and Mari watched as Rei struggled to hold the AT Field into existence.
…
"Maya. Fire the testing rounds" Ritsuko said turning to her assistant as Misato watched the pilots.
"Firing two rounds." Maya said entering commands into the terminal.
…
Twin turret guns, each the size of a small car, fired a small burst of rounds at Unit 02's AT Field. The rounds were not strong enough to damage the Eva at all, but they packed enough punch to test the AT Field.
BANG
The bullets slammed into the AT Field and broke it. Rei's AT Field shattering as the first bullet struck, when the second bullet came it broke through and slammed into Unit 00's chest.
Rei grunted softly from the phantom sensations, but said nothing as she lowered her Eva's hand.
"Hey, you stopped one bullet" Mari said into the comm.
Rei chose not to respond as she frowned looking at the empty space where her AT Field had been.
…
"Don't worry, Rei. We'll work on it" Misato said into the comm from her end. She had been trying to be a better 'adult figure' for Shinji, Asuka, and Rei lately. But there were times when Rei was harder to deal with than Asuka, the pale girl almost never spoke unless Shinji was with her.
"Shinji should be here. He might have been able to help them more than Asuka" Ritsuko said coolly as she and Maya watched the playback. Re-watched Rei's AT Field break.
"He's hurt" Misato said, leaving no room for argument. Shinji was to stay home and get better, all whilst still being under house arrest sadly.
"The boy stopped an N2 mine. None of the others have done anything like that. Not even close" Aoba said shaking his head. Of the three pilots here Asuka had the highest sync, with Mari very closely behind. Yet Shinji was a whole other story, a record breaking 95% sync during the Mount Asama incident.
"Yeah but the boy is... was you know... sick in his head" Makoto Hyuga said from his work station.
"You stop that right now." Misato said slamming a hand down on his workstation and glaring at the man.
Hyuga's face flushed as he realized his mistake and nodded saying "sorry, sorry. I know Shinji does his job, he's a good pilot."
It was only natural, now the JSSDF had their hearing and they were more informed of Nerv's dealings, people had started to talk. And people were finding out about Shinji on both sides, it was another reason Misato didn't want him to come back just yet. She knew it was a very sensitive topic for the boy
Misato left Hyuga fumbling with his controls whilst Maya shook her head.
"Let's give Rei a break. Try with Mari"
Deeper into Nerv
Secret lab where the Adam sample was kept.
"Gendo, perhaps we should re-think this. Adam is not as unresponsive as we all, SEELE included, believed. He or it has shown unexplainable behavior. To continue is-" Kozo Fuyutsuki said.
"No. I have come to far to stop now. We continue. We take further precautions with Adam, and if needed be we can 'weaken' him." Gendo said.
The two men stood staring that long crack along the first two layers of frozen dura-bakelite. After the 'incident' during the Angel attack, Gendo had ordered Fuyutsuki to add another layer to Adam's prison.
Three layers of frozen dura-bakelite, with the previous crack 'filled in'. Yet the strange embryo like being unnerved Fuyutsuki. There was too much that no one understood about the Angels, let alone the first.
This is dangerous Fuyutsuki thought.
Gendo leaned in, watching the strange bring imprisoned within the supposedly indestructible material.
How strange. The embryo had moved and changed its stature since the last Angel attack. Almost as if... Adam was angry. Furious, even.
Later
Misato's apartment
Shinji sat down on Misato's couch watching TV and not really pay attention. It was just so... boring. He had already cleaned the apartment, and then re-cleaned it a second time, and finished his homework that Hikari had brought him. He'd even fed Pen Pen.
Now he didn't know what to do. Before the house arrest, he'd normally spend time with Rei or Toji and Kensuke, or else Mari would show up and take him somewhere.
Mari... she kissed me and it was like I suddenly realized that I'd been out in the cold for years. Like I'd forgotten what it was like to be warm Shinji thought. He ran a finger across his lips again.
Just then the door to the apartment opened and Shinji jumped up from the couch in surprise blushing at his own thoughts, as Misato and Asuka stepped inside.
"Hi Shinji! We're home!" Misato said in greeting. Asuka trailing behind her, she nodded at Shinji noticing that he'd cleaned the entire apartment again.
"You're not a maid." Asuka said softly as she walked past him.
Too much time on my hands. Just like the ward. Shinji thought with a sigh. "I know Asuka, but there's not much to do." Shinji said sounding pathetic even to himself. He was an Eva pilot for god's sake.
Stop trying to make me feel bad Asuka thought with small scowl that she hid from the others.
"I ordered us pizza. You don't have to cook tonight, Shinji" Misato was saying.
But I wanted to cook. I would have given me something to do. Shinji thought glumly.
Shinji nodded even as Misato continued on saying, "sorry we're so late. Traffic is a nightmare. Nerv and the military are still in the process of moving the Angel corpse. A lot of people are gonna be late to work for the next few days."
"Will I have trouble going to school?" Shinji asked. He couldn't believe he actually looked forward to school, but his friends would be there.
"No. Hey, I need to talk to you Shinji. It's about Nerv, eventually you'll have to go back for sync test like the other pilots" Misato said.
I could see Mari again. I could... and I'd see Rei too Shinji thought having to stop himself from putting a finger to lips again.
Misato put a hand on his shoulder as she knelt so he didn't have to look up at her, she knew he appreciated that.
"After the hearing... it's not a secret about your... your... illness. People gossip and now people at Nerv know too. I just wanted to let you know before you walked in again." Misato said oddly serious.
Shinji felt his shoulder's slump. He didn't like to talk about his past in the ward, and he didn't want people know but now they did.
"Listen, if anyone bothers you or treats you wrong I want you to tell me Shinji. I'll make sure they stop." Misato said doing her best to smile at him. She really was trying to be more responsible with him, she wasn't perfect but she was trying.
"It's okay, Misato. I'll be okay." Shinji said honestly.
Misato patted him on the head affectionately. "I need a shower. I'm leaving the money for the pizza on the breakfast table" she said walking past him.
Shinji watched her go, then he went back to watching useless TV without realizing that Asuka hadn't left the room.
"You're an Eva pilot" Asuka said suddenly and Shinji jumped having thought she'd gone to her room, but apparently she'd lingered.
"... what?" Shinji asked slowly.
"You're an Eva pilot. Stop caring what other people think. None of them could do what we do... so don't care about what they say." Asuka said avoiding his gaze.
There was still tension between them, they hadn't really talked since their fight and the Angel attack. But they could still be in the same room together.
"... thanks Asuka" Shinji said slowly.
"Whatever." Asuka said without her usual bite. Then she walked off without saying another word. Shinji really did not understand girls.
Later, they had another weird awkward dinner. But at least it was pizza.
…
The next morning, Shinji was up and ready for school when Misato grabbed him by the wrist before he made it out the door.
Asuka glanced at him on her way out, but said nothing. Asuka left both her roommates behind as she headed to school having grabbed her lunch from the day. The lunch that Shinji still made her every school day.
"You're supposed to be taking it easy." Misato said to him as Asuka left.
"Can I go to school tomorrow? I feel fine" Shinji said almost pleadingly.
"Sigh. Shinji, I want you to take it easy for now. Two more days, that's all I want" Misato said.
"I know... but I miss my friends" Shinji said awkwardly.
Misato sighed again, running a hand along the freshly re-wrapped bandages around his head. She worried for him, and the medical staff had agreed that he should relax for a few days.
"Sorry Shinji. I'll try to be home sooner so you won't be alone." Misato said shaking her head at him.
"Fine" Shinji mumbled.
"Come on, it's two days. Just play some video games or something" Misato said beaming down at him.
"... I don't know how" Shinji admitted.
"What?"
"I don't know how to play video games. I've seen them on TV but I've never played. You know why." Shinji said meeting Misato's gaze. The ward.
"Toji and Kensuke me invited to an arcade once, but I couldn't go because of the house arrest." Shinji continued.
Misato closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
"Shinji... I'm sorry" Misato began.
"For what?" Shinji asked confused. It wasn't her fault and it wasn't that big of a deal.
"Just- that this happened. Two days. Then you can go back to your friends" Misato said.
But two days and it'll be the weekend. I'll have to wait til Monday to see my friends at school. Shinji thought. "Alright" he said in defeat.
Misato asked him to remember to feed Pen Pen as she left for work, Shinji waving her goodbye.
And so once again, Shinji watched Misato leave the apartment too. Left alone with almost nothing to do. He could try just leaving on his own, but Nerv had warned him that if he ever sneaked out then they'd get him an ankle monitor.
Two days later
Shinji was going insane... again. This was just maddening, he would finish his homework that Hikari was kind enough to bring, then try to find something to do around the house. He couldn't keep re-cleaning the place, and he was never sure if Pen Pen liked him or not so he kept his distance.
Even Asuka didn't come home after school since she either went to Hikari's house, or else went with the other Eva pilots for testing. Something about trying to get all of them a working AT Field.
Shinji would watch TV until he couldn't stand it anymore, it made him feel like he was somehow getting dumber, and then he'd sit outside on the apartment balcony just enjoying the fresh air.
Not even the thing in his head stirred. It was almost like a record, not a single strange dream or voice telling him things for two days. He took his medicine, but he had started to think that they were losing their effectiveness until now. It made no sense. That should have made him happy, but it didn't.
When Misato and Asuka would come home he'd finally have someone to talk to, mostly Misato but still. This more than anything else, made Shinji realize how much he had changed since coming to Tokyo-3.
When night came and it was time to go to bed, Shinji was grateful that at least once the weekend was over he could go back to school and see his friends. Maybe Mari would show up like she sometimes did and they could... could talk.
Shinji felt himself flush at what he had started to think about.
He shook his head and got ready for bed. Shinji took his medicine again just to be safe, and managed to get a few hours sleep before something woke up.
…
Shinji groaned lightly, opening his eyes and getting out of bed to find that his phone was vibrating.
He wasn't really allowed to use his phone these days, Misato had let him get around that once by allowing him to use her phone. But that was it really.
Slowly, Shinji checked his phone to see it was about 2 in the morning and someone was messaging him.
Psst. You up dummy?
Shinji blinked not recognizing the number.
Mari? It's 2 in the morning. What's up? Shinji messaged back.
Good you're awake. Go to the apartment balcony. Mari messaged him.
Shinji frowned thinking that over. No... she wouldn't do that... would she? Shinji carefully put his phone down and opened his door. Quietly, he moved through the dark halls of Misato's apartment and just as he reached the door to the apartment balcony... he found Mari sitting on the railing outside.
He gasped as she waved at him through the glass door. She was dressed in her usual street clothes and brown leather jacket.
Shinji quietly rushed over and opened the door saying "Mari? What are you doing here?"
"Came to see you dummy." Mari said smirking at him. She was sitting dangerously on the railing... did she somehow climb the apartment block?
Shinji felt a rush of emotion flood his chest. He didn't fully understand it, but it warmed the heart to see her again.
"Mari. I'm not supposed to have any visitors." Shinji said smiling up at her in the night air.
Mari shrugged, not seeming to care, saying "I missed you dummy. The house arrest blows."
Shinji chuckled at that as Mari thankfully got off the railing and headed to him for an embrace. He hugged back, the two of them standing on the small apartment balcony in the dead of night.
Mari wrapped an arm around his neck and pulled him close, bumping their heads together just like when they were kids. Shinji would be lying if he said he wasn't disappointed, he thought she was going to kiss him again and he'd felt his heart start pounding. He wasn't good at this... how did he bring up their kiss without making it weird.
"Hey, let me stay the night. Like when we were kids and I'd sneak into your room. I'll sneak out in the morning." Mari said her hand on his face.
"I... uh... okay" Shinji stammered as Mari leaned in closer so their faces were almost touching.
"Great!" Mari said whispering loudly.
He wasn't supposed to have visitors, especially at this hour, but it was Mari. And besides... who would know?
Quietly, Shinji led her back to his room and closed the door behind him as she turned on the light.
He felt awkward being dressed in his night clothes but Mari didn't seem to care.
Shinji turned and gasped as Mari pressed her lips to his again. His second kiss did not fair any better than his first, Mari was much better at it than him.
When she finally pulled away they were both breathing heavily. "I've been waiting days to do that again. Dummy, it's rude to make a girl wait" she said smirking at him as he came off his high.
"The house arrest and my injury" Shinji started to stammer.
"I know. I drove by your school one day and asked your friends, found out you've been staying home these past few days" Mari said gesturing to the bandages wrapped around his head.
Before Shinji could say anything, Mari put a hand to his head asking "does it hurt?"
"No. I feel fine but nobody believes me" Shinji stammered as Mari nodded and dragged him to his bed where she joined him. Damn, Mari moved fast wasting no time at all. It was unnerving... and it made his heart pound in ways he didn't know it could.
"Heh, mister tough guy. I was really worried about you, you know? When you were separated from us... when the Angel attacked. You saved my life, you pushed me back when I tried to grab you. Another second and we'd have been crushed." Mari said unusually serious.
"You saved my life too. All of you did, the Evas." Shinji said amazed at the way Mari looked at him. It reminded him of their first kiss in the rain. So much warmth and care, just for him.
I'm not worth that much. Shinji thought again.
You are to me Mari seemed to say with her eyes, as if she knew what he was thinking.
"I was scared. Scared that you were hurt or else... I'd never been scared before" Mari said sounding so vulnerable that that Shinji felt his lips tremble. All these years and he'd just assumed that nothing ever got to Mari, but she was human and she could get scared too.
"You were brave Mari. You piloted the Eva and did your job anyway." Shinji said.
"I did my job, but I couldn't stop thinking about you. I was terrified-" Mari began.
"The only time we can ever be brave, is when we are afraid. I'm not like you and the others, Mari. I get scared all the time when the Angels come. But I do what I have to anyway. It's alright. You're stronger than I'll ever be" Shinji said raising a trembling and nervous hand to her face and cupping her cheek gently.
She leaned into his touch.
It was true, during his early days of piloting Shinji had developed a tremor in his hand that he'd struggled to control. An anxious trait from his fears of piloting and fighting the Angels, he liked to think he'd gotten over it but at times he felt it could come back.
"Damn Shinji, there are days I forget that I'm older than you" Mari said in a low voice.
"You're still way cooler than me" Shinji said managing a small laugh even as he fought to control his breathing. Being around Mari like this, lying in his bed with her, it brought things out of him he'd never experienced.
Mari moved his hand away from her face and gently rolled on top of him on the bed, she brought her lips to his again as Shinji kissed back. It was almost overwhelming for him, Mari was just so wild... and full of life.
After each long kiss, Mari pressed a smaller gentler one upon his lips, almost like a signature of hers. A loving mark.
God Shinji thought reeling from this. Where had this been all his young life?
Slowly, and very reluctantly he pulled back to breathe. Mari let him, resting her hands on his chest and panting just as he was.
"Mari. I- what are we?" Shinji asked slowly.
"Right now, we're making out on your bed. Stop trying to ruin the mood, dummy" Mari laughed.
"But what we are?" Shinji asked again breathing softly.
"I like you. You like me. Why do we have make things complicated?" Mari said leaning in for another kiss.
"I just... I just want to understand. I've never done this before and you're- you're beautiful and strong, and cooler than me. And I just... why me?" Shinji asked, having to fight the urge to let Mari keep kissing him.
"You charmer, you. Sigh. You think too much Shinji. Just live in the moment for once. Why can't you just enjoy what we have?" Mari said sounding distant.
Shinji flushed saying "I don't know... you always told me I was weird."
Mari giggled saying "and cute."
"Cute?" Shinji parroted feeling his face flush.
Mari ran a hand gently across his cheek saying "Shinji, you get it. You get me."
Shinji tilted his head not understanding. Her hand on his cheek made his skin tingle, it was... pleasant.
"You know what it's like to be on the outside after years being locked up. Know what it's like to be alone. We handled it differently, but you get it" Mari said softly.
Images flashed through Mari's mind, memories of her time at the ward. Memories of how she left the ward... of Shinji getting into her room at night and staring at her with hollow empty eyes that no child should have.
…
"I will not remember this" Other Shinji had told her. He held her head with such care, like he was afraid she would break if he moved wrong. All this time, and she still didn't understand what had happened. She remembered being unable to move as Shinji held her.
"I hope we never meet again. Goodbye Mari" Shinji had told her softly. Those words had broken her heart, how could 'her' Shinji say something like that? But now she thought she knew, he didn't want her to be stuck in the ward like he was.
"Stay here. No matter what happens, stay here. You will be 'better' when this is over" Shinji had said as blood started to trickle down his nose. Then he had left her there in her room, guiding her gently to her bed before he left.
Mari remembered finding him in the cafeteria, remembered her heart breaking into a million pieces as she saw Shinji's seizure. Saw the blood in his eyes, heard his blood curdling scream. She'd tried to help him, to bring him back, but nothing she had done could help him. At the time, the 11 year old boy had been lost to the world.
"Go away. You cannot help us" Other Shinji had whispered to her. Those would be the last words she'd heard from Shinji for years... she remembered him screaming again, and the ward staff had pulled her away so they could help Shinji. She had watched tears in her eyes as her Shinji had been strapped to a stretcher, foaming at the mouth as he lay near death.
But Shinji has asked Mari not to talk about the night, so she wouldn't.
...
Mari turned to lay beside him as they lay on his bed. "You understand. And I really did miss you when I left the ward. There's no one like you Shinji, and you're the best person I've ever known."
"I'm not" Shinji said blinking in surprise.
"You don't give yourself enough credit. You're not my first, Shinji. Not the first boy I've been with. But you're the only one I've ever cared about. It's hard living on the outside after spending years away." Mari said
"I know. I really do" Shinji said in a low voice.
"If people find out that you spent years in a mental ward, they treat you different. Adults and kids alike." Mari said slowly.
"Like you're a time bomb waiting to go off. Like you make people nervous. And some people want to help, they really do, but they talk to you like a baby. Well most of them, then every now again someone treats you like a person and it's wonderful." Shinji said.
"And everyone thinks they understand, but they don't. Even the little things like-" Mari began.
"Little things like having a birthday, like going to a normal school or talking to people your own age. It's like discovering a new world that you were never a part of" Shinji said finishing her words.
"Yes and no. My folks weren't like your dad. Commander Ikari is a real asshat, but my folks were just so distant that I never really knew them unless they were judging me." Mari said.
"It's hard. Living on the outside." Shinji whispered taking her hand. It was like they were kids again, holding each others hand, and yet something was different this time. But it wasn't bad at all, in fact it was 'nice'. Shinji had no other word for it.
"No Shinji. It's different, but that's what's amazing. The freedom to do what you want. Do you remember the ward? Remember how the days just sorta 'bled' into one another. How the staff wanted to schedule everything and anything? How empty our lives were until we met each other?" Mari said slowly.
Shinji nodded remembering how they'd met and become so attached to each other.
"I'm glad we're both out of the ward. It's not easy, but it's better. Mari are you okay? If there's something you want to tell me, you can." Shinji said squeezing Mari's hand seeing her struggling with something.
"Let me tell you" Mari said beginning her story.
Years ago
In the days following Shinji's incident, Mari asked the staff again and again about her friend. No one would tell her what happened to Shinji. The staff only looked at her nervously or else said he was in the hospital.
Days passed and Shinji still hadn't returned to the ward. Dr. Page met with Mari and refused to answer any questions on Shinji. Instead, the doctor made Mari do a series of stupid tests. Looking at stupid drawings, and finally made her get an MRI.
Dr. Page herself had taken an interest in Mari, and Mari hated her for never answering her questions.
"How is Shinji? I want to know! You're his doctor! He told me!" Mari had shouted after one too many tests with Page.
"Shinji is alive. He's in a 'coma' of sorts. We believe he will wake up one day. That's all we know, now back to you." Page had told her. Page had never once spoken of Shinji again, all she had talked about was Mari from that day onward.
Later, Page told Mari that she was 'cured'.
That the ward had already contacted her parents and told them the good news. That Mari would be free to leave the ward soon.
Mari had stared at Dr. Page saying "that's impossible. I was told I couldn't be fixed. That I'd be... here... for life."
"We were wrong. You should be happy. Now I have other business to attend to. I will see you off when you leave" Page said before walking away.
Mari had sat alone at lunch for the first time in years. Eating her stolen pudding and staring at the seat beside her. Imagining Shinji sitting with her, but the boy never came back.
When the day came for her to leave the ward for good, Mari wasn't happy. She had wanted to leave for so long, longer than she could remember, but not like this. Not without Shinji.
Mari was given a change of clothes, and what little belongings she had was packed for her by the time her family sent a car for her. It was the first time in years since she'd worn anything but the plain white clothes of the ward.
"You should be able to live a mostly normal life now. Congratulations, I hope for your sake that we never met again" Dr. Page said to her on the day she left.
"... okay" Mari said not caring.
Neither did Page it seemed.
"Can I visit Shinji when he's better? When he wakes up from the coma?" Mari said before Page could walk off again, Mari was never one to hold back her feelings.
"Why would you want to visit a mental patient?" Dr. Page had asked Mari in surprise.
"Because he's my friend" Mari said scowling.
"No, you may not. Your driver is waiting for you" Dr. Page said simply.
"Why not!" Mari said grabbing Page by the wrist and not letting go until the older woman turned to look down at her.
"Because your family doesn't want you coming back. And I think you are a bad influence on my patient. You're young, you'll find friends your own age on the outside. You should be happy, you're healthy now. Forget Shinji Ikari." Dr. Page said pulling her hand free and giving Mari a fake smile.
"Have a good life" the woman said walking off.
Mari watched her go with hateful eyes. "Bitch" she muttered forced to turn and head outside where her driver was waiting for her.
"Goodbye Shinji..." Mari had said looking back at the ward as her driver drove on, the facility growing smaller and smaller in her window.
…
The outside
Mari spent two days living at her family's house before her parents came to see her. Her mom and dad were very busy people, and they'd seldom visited her in the ward. She thought that... they did care for her in a sense, but that they did not know her. That they did not have time for their daughter.
She was given an allowance and they hired a nanny to watch over her until the school year started. Mari felt so alone even outside the ward. She had no friends to play with, and no one but the nanny to talk to.
Mari didn't like being stuck in the house, so she forced the nanny to take her to a park. She'd stay there for hours playing by herself, or just sitting on the swings. She liked being 'out' and exploring the city where her nanny would let her, always trailing after Mari with a watchful eye.
It was fun, to finally see the world even if only her small part of it. But it wasn't the same without Shinji. More than anything, she wanted her friend. Every time she tried to contact the ward, she was denied. Her parents found out and they'd argued.
They didn't want her having any more contact with the ward. They wanted her to forget her past and move on. Her parents tried to schedule her life for her, they had plans for Mari now that she was 'healthy'.
They sent her away to a private school. Mari didn't like that, didn't like being 'scheduled' and handed off to other adults. So she rebelled, stupid thing to do really. But she did it anyway, she didn't want people controlling her anymore.
At the private school, some kids overheard the teachers talking about Mari's past in the ward. Kids can be the cruelest people on earth, and they started treating her different and giving her strange glances, and so she rebelled even harder.
Mari ended up getting a repetition for being 'wild' and almost fearless. They called her an aspiring 'adrenaline junkie' when she got her first motorcycle. She dated boys and one girl, in her time, but she had trouble connecting to people for long. Her relationships were cheap fickle things, a rush of psychical pleasure after the ward had made her think she would never get to experience these feelings.
Yes, Mari was wild for she had decided that she'd had enough of being 'controlled' and 'scheduled,' she decided she would live on her own terms.
This was where she and Shinji had ultimately differed upon being 'free'. Where Shinji had chosen to stay back, to watch as an observer, before being forced to interact with others by the Evas, Mari had done the opposite.
Life was so short, so Mari decided she would spend it being happy. She would go on adventures just like she'd promised to do with Shinji, and she'd enjoy every moment of her freedom, not worry for the future like all the stupid adults in her life. She would not sit back and watch, no she would embrace the world, she was done playing things 'safe'. Let the pieces fall where they may.
When she was 16, her parents came to the school and pulled her out indefinitely. They could not believe what had become of their daughter, could not believe how wild she had become since leaving the ward. She had fought with her parents again, the only times they would visit her where when 'acted out'.
Mari proved too much of a hassle for her parents, so they reached an agreement. Mari would be emancipated after being home schooled the rest of her high school degree. After being emancipated, Mari would be considered a legal adult and out of her parents hands. On her own.
She finished her home schooling, and was in the process of being emancipated when the Marduk Institute came knocking at her door. Mari had been told she had the potential to be an Eva pilot, and given a series of tests. They offered her a job after seeing her remarkable sync ratio results.
From there, she spent months training before sent to Germany where she met Asuka to train with a fellow pilot. Then she met Shinji again on the Over the Rainbow, and it was like seeing a missing part of herself. Her only real friend that she'd ever known.
The present.
Shinji's room
"I... I'm sorry. I never knew your parents were so... distant" Shinji said. He wished he hadn't brought this up. He never knew just how damaged Mari was too. No one was without weakness, and just like him Mari knew what it was like to be 'alone'. They'd handled it in vastly different ways, but that was how it always was between them. She was the wild one, loud and full of life whilst Shinji had been quiet and 'lost'.
Mari laughed darkly saying "look at us. The kids of terrible parents."
Shinji thought back to his own father, to Gendo, and realized that he felt almost nothing for the man. He did not know Gendo and Gendo did not know him.
"Yeah"
But not you, mom. I know you loved me. I remember you used to hold me as a baby... I miss you so much. Oh mom Shinji thought having to close his eyes so he wouldn't cry.
"I know I shouldn't complain. My parents weren't all that bad, they just didn't care the way I wanted them to. Maybe that makes me a spoiled brat, but it hurt. They used to think it was the mental illness coming back, made me take exams but I was already fixed. It became a vicious cycle, them trying to control my life without ever knowing me. I felt alone even when they did visit on the rare occasion. There are worse parents out there. But I'm me. I'm not going change, I will live my life on my own terms. I will enjoy life, what's so wrong with that?" Mari said speaking to herself more than Shinji.
"You're right, I get it. That's amazing. I'd be too scared to do what you did Mari" Shinji said feeling older than he really was.
Mari smirked at him and punched him on the arm softly. "You just need the right push" she teased.
I don't think she's ever told anyone those things before. It's not just our parents, it's everything. I understand Mari, I do. Shinji thought sadly. Maybe it was a good thing that they'd found each other after all these years.
"Did you think about me, after I had left?" Mari asked suddenly.
Shinji smiled sadly saying "all the time."
"You know, after I left the ward I started to have strange dreams." Mari said suddenly and Shinji looked at her with wide eyes.
"Strange?"
"Just one dream really. It was so vivid I could've sworn it was real. I remember a grown woman lying in a field. She was bleeding, hurt but I don't know how or why... it's hazy. She'd been running from something and she thought she was going to die. I think in the dream... I was the woman. Then a man grown appeared, standing over her as she lay dying. He knelt down and picked her up.
'Don't be scared. I've got you' the man told her. He carried her to safety and saved her life. He cared for her and brought her food, treating her wounds. He was like a guardian angel. He saved her, and did not care who she was or what she did. He didn't judge her, he saved her because it was the right thing to do. He didn't even care about a reward. I remember seeing the two of them living together, and sharing a bed." Mari said smiling softly.
Shinji stared at her, not understanding as he felt his head stir. Not the voice, not the thing that lived there, instead this reminded him of when he'd had the strange flashes he couldn't explain.
"Then the dream ended." Mari said.
She was staring at Shinji unblinkingly as she smiled warmly at him.
The man reminded me of you the words went unsaid but understood between the two.
"... just a dream" Shinji said slowly as his head throbbed.
Mari shrugged saying "maybe. Maybe not. It sounds crazy, but it felt so real. Years now, and I still remember the dream as if it was yesterday."
Shinji closed his eyes as images flashed through his mind. He saw it.
In his mind's eyes he saw it.
…
Shinji saw flashes of a strange man walking across a field, heading for a figure he'd spotted in the distance. No... Shinji was the strange man.
He was kneeling down beside a woman. She was hurt, bleeding and near death. He looked her over, checking her wounds. She blinked and looked up at him, she was terrified. She knew she was dying, he could see it in her eyes. He knew that look because he'd had it before too.
There are still good people. He thought fiercely. He refused to let the world break him, refused to lose his humanity. He clung to it, to that thought. Everyone else could be broken, but not him. He was still a good man.
Carefully, he picked the girl up. Scooping her into his arms even as she trembled, she was afraid of him. In their world, she had every right to be.
"Don't be scared. I've got you" he told her as he started to carry her. He knew he could barter for some bandages and medicine back in town.
The woman stared at him with wide eyes, at this kind stranger whom stopped to help her.
More images flashed by Shinji's mind, he saw the man bandaging the woman's wounds, saw 'him' feeding her by spoon as she struggled to chew, saw him putting a wet rag to her forehead.
"Everything's going to be alright. Hey, what's your name?" the man asked.
"... Mari" the woman whispered.
…
The present
Shinji opened his eyes, having grounded himself and left the images behind, and looked down to find his fingers intertwined with Mari's. Neither could say whom had reached for the other, only that they had.
Mari rolled over so she lay beside him, and gently pressed her lips to his. Then Shinji felt it again, the warmth, the explosion of sensations that traveled throughout his entire body. He wasn't good at kissing, and Mari didn't seem to care.
He pulled back breathing heavily, feeling himself grinning stupidly.
"What are we? Where do we go from here" Shinji asked in a whisper. Friends? Something more? A couple? He couldn't stop the hint of excitement from of his voice, the things Mari brought out of him.
"Why does it matter? We make each other happy. I feel something between us. You feel it to." Mari said.
"I... I really like kissing you" Shinji said breathing heavily.
Mari smiled coyly at him, looking at him expectantly. Shinji leaned in and pressed his lips to hers, he didn't 'think' about it he just did it. Living in the moment like Mari did. He felt his confidence raising as Mari moved her lips with his, letting him lead for once.
The morning after
Shinji woke to find an arm slung across his waist. He turned his head to see Mari cuddled beside him, still wearing her clothes from the night before. He smiled at her sleeping form, her long hair falling over her face as she slept. She'd forgotten to sneak out before morning, and he'd forgotten to remind her, but he didn't feel bad at all.
What. Have. You. Done.
Shinji flinched. The voice had come back! The thing in his head had stirred again after all this time.
Shinji. What is Mari doing in your bed? And you 'looked'. I've told you so many times not to look at those flashes. Yet you did it again!
The voice sounded stern. Almost angry even.
This again... how did- Shinji thought.
I sleep for a few days to heal, and when I wake up I find this. Shinji, what are you doing? What the hell are you doing?!
Gah! I thought maybe you were gone for good. Guess I always knew you'd be back he thought.
Haven't you wondered why you weren't in pain? That was me. I took your pain for you. I helped you stop the seizure last time too.
… that doesn't make sense Shinji thought.
Hmm. Doesn't matter. I see you're still a virgin. Good, you're too young for sex. The thing in his head stirred.
I... how did you know- what is 'that' supposed to mean? Shinji thought with a flicker of annoyance.
It means you would not handle it well. Not at your age.
Why I am arguing with this thing? Why does it even bring this up? Shinji thought shaking his head.
Why are you doing this? Why Mari?
She makes me happy Shinji thought. He looked over at Mari and gently brushed the hair out of her face. She leaned into his touch grumbling something.
That... I- what did you say? Why did you say that! The thing in his head stirred. It was almost painful, like the old days at the ward, when the he felt the twinges of pain from inside his skull.
Mari makes me happy. And everyone hates her, even this stupid thing in my head. Can't I just have one good thing in my life. Can't I just have something as normal as a friend... or girlfriend... or whatever the heck we are. I don't know! We make each other happy! What's wrong with that! Shinji thought his temper flaring.
You... you fool
Go away. Please.
Oh Shinji, there are days you make me feel so old. The voice sounded tired and weary, it had never sounded like that before.
I shouldn't even be talking to you he thought.
Tell me, boy. Who are you to be happy, hmm? What makes you think you deserve that?
Shinji gaped at that, not sure what to say. He was arguing with the voice in his head for god's sake, that was not a good sign.
Who are you to be happy? Unhappiness is more common that happiness. When I was your age, I had friends, people in my life, perhaps even a flicker or two of 'love' though I did not see it. Now all of them are dead.
The voice was harsh and cold, not even angry anymore but sorrowful. Bittersweet.
Now all of them are dead... what? That doesn't make sense, the thing in my head isn't alive. It doesn't have its own life-
How long are we going to play this game Shinji? How many times have I helped you? How many times have I been right? It's been years, and now you're finally starting to wear on my patience.
Shinji heard footsteps approaching his door, and panicked. He shook his head and turned back to Mari. He shook her saying "Mari! Someone's coming!"
Mari stirred waking slowly as she opened her eyes.
The door to Shinji's room opened, there was no lock, and Asuka stepped inside saying "hey! Wake up already! Misato says we have to eat together and I- ah!"
Asuka gasped as she took in the sight of Mari yawning and sitting up in Shinji's bed with him, his bedsheets over the both of them.
"Pervertieren! Du Idiot! Ah! Sie sind nur ein anderer Junge, nachdem alle!" Asuka shouted.
Mari waved at Asuka as she yawned again.
"Asuka. This isn't what it-" Shinji stammered but Asuka left not even bothering to close his door as she ran out cursing in German.
Shinji blinked watching her leave.
Mari laughed saying "she called you a pervert."
"Mari? You speak German?" he stammered.
"A little bit" Mari admitted with a shrug. "Then why didn't you tell Asuka? All this time, you've understood what she was saying when she was angry?" Shinji asked dumbfounded.
Mari smirked saying "I thought it was funny. She still doesn't know."
Shinji laughed at that. "I love you" Shinji said not able to help himself, that was just so... so her. "I love you too dummy" Mari said.
You do not know what those words mean. You do not understand what 'love' is. You waste your breath. Taking away the value in those words.
Go away. Please.
We will talk about this later. I can't even look at you right now. You idiot.
Shinji blinked as he felt the thing in his head fade away, gone for now but it would be back. It always came back.
They heard footsteps coming, and Shinji really started to panic as Misato stepped inside followed by Pen Pen.
"Shinji? What is going on- ah! What is she doing in your room?!" Misato shouted.
Mari waved again as she and Shinji got out of his bed.
"This is not what it looks like. Just let me explain-" Shinji started to say.
"Relax, miss 'mama Misato' alright. Shinji didn't pop his cherry last night, but he could have. Oh, he could have. Just saying." Mari said winking at Shinji and slapping his ass.
Shinji blushed thinking not helping, Mari. Not helping at all.
Misato crossed her arms saying "Shinji, what the hell is going on." She was glaring directly at Mari.
"She came over to see me. Nothing happened... like that anyway. Just sleep. But not like that! Sleep, as in rest. Not... not sex" Shinji said talking very quickly his face as red as a tomato.
Misato stared him down with a disbelieving look.
"He's telling the truth. Have some faith in the boy" Mari said.
"Not him I'm worried about" Misato muttered darkly. Shinji watched his guardian and his girlfriend... ish, stare each other down. He did not know what was happening.
"Mari, go home. I need to talk to Shinji. I will be talking to your parents after-" Misato said.
"I'm emancipated. A legal adult. If you can even reach them, it wouldn't matter" Mari said crossing her arms.
"... go home Mari" Misato began but Shinji stumbled over grabbing his guardian by the hand and pleading "can't she stay for breakfast. Please?"
"Shinji-"
"Nothing happened. I promise. Just- let her stay for breakfast" Shinji pleaded.
Oh god, I've become such a 'mom'. Can't deny him anything when he begs Misato thought sighing inwardly.
"Ahhhh. Fine. Mari, you can stay. But you ever sneak in again, I will add locks to Shinji's room" Misato said clearly not happy about it.
Shinji sighed in relief as Mari seemed honestly stunned at that. She totally expected to be kicked out, it's what she was used to, but Shinji surprised her.
…
"Pass the juice orange" Mari said in a very good mood.
"... why are you here?" Asuka muttered.
"Sigh. Here. I'll get it" Shinji said reaching over and re-filling Mari's glass for her.
They were all sitting at the breakfast table. Shinji sharing his breakfast with Mari since Misato hadn't made enough food. Asuka shaking her head at the whole thing, seemingly at a loss over what happened.
Misato didn't look too 'excited' either but she had put it past her and was just trying to have their 'family breakfast' for the day.
It ended up being mostly okay. Not the most awkward breakfast they'd ever had.
Still, that 'thing' in his head... what it had said bothered him. Those words had been nagging at him since he'd heard them.
Who are you to be happy? Unhappiness is more common that happiness. When I was your age, I had friends, people in my life, perhaps even a flicker or two of 'love' though I did not see it. Now all of them are dead.
The thing in his head wasn't alive... but Shinji had seen strange things that he couldn't explain. He didn't want to tell Page about them. But it gnawed at him. He couldn't deny it, there were things he didn't understand. In some ways that frightened Shinji, but for now he had Mari, Misato, and his friends.
Maybe he could just enjoy the moment for once.
Did you expect to see Mari in the Other Timeline? I think some readers suspected that whilst others did not. Was I too subtle or was it obvious(not just this chapter but all of them)?
Mari is an interesting character despite not having much growth in the films. I know this isn't exactly what she was there, but this is my take on things. My reasons for why she is the way she is. Our past shapes us. Nature AND nurture. Not versus. Like Shinji said, it's not just her parents but everything.
Mari has, and is, changing Shinji. In turn, Shinji will change Mari.
I do apoglize for the length of this chapter. Eva has so many wonderful characters that it's a challenge to write them all. Certain chapters focus on some more than others, but all our pilots are all important characters. We'll see a lot more of them not just Shinji and Mari.
Thanks for Reading and please Review!