Unravel

by Homer's Disciple

Shinji rejected Instrumentality, but he made so many mistakes. He has one last chance to set things right, to unravel everything and save what matters. A retelling or altering of the series, an altered version of Shinji with an altered past. Life takes a different path, but do all paths lead to the same destination? Is Shinji doomed to never know happiness?

24. The Road to Haven

Hey guys, warning here.

LONG CHAPTER. I have placed Headers labeled 'Parts' to help with the reading. To leave readers with a good breaking point if they need it.
If it gets too long, by all means read in more than one sitting. Look for the Headers called Parts, and you can take brakes.

I didn't want to split this chapter. There's a lot that happens.
Thanks to all the new readers. Here's chapter 24: 'The Road to Haven'

---

"We wandered for a long time after the Fall. Never staying in one place too long. Managing to find a camp for a bit, but we couldn't stay. I saw the world I had made. The real consequences of what my choice had done. Not just to the world... but to the people that survived.

Through it all I had Rei. And Asuka too. My family. Oh... how I miss them.

The road to Haven was long and treacherous. Bitter and cold, filled with highs and lows. It took 'years' for us to even reach it. Funny, we didn't even know to look for it until towards the end.

I've seen the best and the worst of humanity. But the world isn't always so black and white, not as simple as saying everyone is broken. I learned that on the road to Haven.

I wish I had more time with my wife. I really do." - the broken man.

---

The Other Timeline
Memories of the Original Shinji

Little over three years after Third Impact

Part 1:
Journey onward

The road to Tokyo-02 was silent.

Their car moving through wasteland at a steady pace, the sun beginning to rise and revealing the crumbling infrastructure visible in the distance.

Asuka driving with a watchful eye on the gas levels. Rei and Shinji sitting in the back with sullen expressions.

None of them had gotten much sleep since the Fall. But they kept moving just as Aoba had told them to do. When Shinji asked Asuka if she wanted a break, the girl refused.

He understood. Asuka just wanted something to do, something to keep her mind busy so she didn't have to think about what had happened. But they needed to figure things out. They couldn't just drive aimlessly forever...

"What are we going to do once we reach the city?" Shinji asked breaking the silence. His voice slow and reluctantly forcing them to accept reality.

Asuka paused at that, taking her eyes off the road momentarily to look back at him from the driver's seat. Rei looked up at his words, having been lost in her thoughts since Aoba's death.

"... keep going. That's what Aoba said we should do" Asuka said in more a grunt.

Shinji saw the her shaking fingers as she drove. Asuka hid it well but she was still in shock from everything that had happened. He couldn't blame her, he was too. His heart may have stopped pounding but he could feel the adrenaline running through his veins, the terror of the violence they'd witnessed.

Nothing like their piloting days. Up close and very personal, almost no clarity as things just fell part and broke into chaos. They were not soldiers, but they'd been able to act as needed. Fighting the Angels was not like fighting humans.

Shinji swallowed hard, fighting back the gulp that threaten to come back. He could see the corpse of their friend in his mind's eye, the poor man left with only a blanket over his body as they'd been forced to moving on.

"We need to supplies" Rei said suddenly. The first time she'd spoken in hours.

Shinji and Asuka glanced at her, she was looking at her hands. The hands that had tried to stop Aoba's bleeding.

Asuka nodded.

"We have some things in the trunk. Water bottles, a fuel tank, blankets, backpacks, and... and ammo." Shinji said slowing at that last part.

Rei glanced down at the floor of the car and reached down grabbing Aoba's gun, bringing it up for Shinji to take.

I- Why me? Shinji thought with a flicker of panic.

He hesitantly took the gun, realizing as he did so that Rei had put the safety on.

"So it's settled. We'll stock up on what we can. But I think we should keep moving, we need to get as far as possible from those idiots that burned our home down" Asuka said her voice cold and distant.

He could hear the hate in her words towards the end, but a small tremor of sorrow as well. So much gone to waste, three years of work all burned away in a single day.

---

Tokyo-02

The city was in worse shape than Tokyo-03.

It might not have had the ashes of the Geofront or wreckage that was Nerv, or even the corpses of the MP Evas, but the city just felt wrong.

All the trees were dead.

The streets littered with old faded clothes and abandoned empty cars, more wreckage than working vehicles and rusting in the open air, where people had been taken by Instrumentality.

Whatever Third Impact had done hadn't stopped at Tokyo-03, even the small patches of dirt they could see at parks or else in select areas were greying and stiff. Dead soil, unusable for farming.

The buildings intact but faded and eerily silent.

Shinji didn't like it here.

Asuka had parked the car in the parking lot of an old marketplace. Convenience stores and old restaurants littered the block along with little shops here and there, all abandoned.

Did anyone come back here? Shinji thought, sitting in the back with Rei as they watched the area.

"I... I don't think we should linger. Just grab what we can and let's go" Asuka said, doing her best not to sound worried.

"We might not be alone here" Rei said suddenly. Her voice catching them by surprise by how worried she sounded.

Shinji and Asuka turned to look at her. She was right of course, the Boss had sent teams of scavengers to Tokyo-02 in waves. Forming a chain of coming and going crews, traveling by day and camping by night, for supplies. News of the riot and the mutiny might not have reached them yet, but the car would be a sign to what was left of Boss's men that something was up.

In the end, Asuka left the car running whilst Shinji and Rei got out. They debated on who should get Aoba's gun and ultimately decided Shinji and Rei would take it. Asuka had the car after all.

Shinji was surprised when Rei handed him the gun again, but he took it and grabbed the full clip from the trunk. Reloading after a few clumsy tries.

Together, Shinji and Rei headed out for the stores. Supply bags in hand and breathing softly, unnerved at how quiet everything was. What was happening to them? The three of them had spent over a year on their own, but somehow this was different.

Out in the wastes.

Shinji walked through the store ales beside Rei, grabbing all the canned food he could and stuffing it inside the ever heavier bag. He kept a hand on the gun, it made him feel better even if he wasn't a trained soldier.

They cleaned out the first store, headed back to the car, and deposited it into the trunk and back seats. Before heading out again, Asuka watching them trying to keep her cool as she kept her hands on the wheel.

It was on their sixth or seventh trip that it happened.

Shinji was walking through a general store, grabbing some spare clothes for them, Rei elsewhere looking for bottles of expired water. That was their mistake. They should have stayed together.

When the sound came it startled Shinji, he jumped and almost fired Aoba's gun. Almost.

The sound of the car driving off with a screech of wheels, followed by a yell and footsteps from outside.

Shinji flinched.

Asuka! He thought in panic.

He needed to get Rei and find out what happened. Asuka wouldn't just drive off like that, she wouldn't leave them behind, there must have been a reason. And those yells...

Shinji was turning to look for the store exit when the man stepped inside.

A former JSSDF. A tall somewhat younger man, late twenties maybe, wearing faded military gear. An escort for the scavengers whom traveled between the two cities.

"You, boy" the soldier said giving Shinji a curious look. The man's eyes lingering on the gun in Shinji's hand and supply bag swung over his shoulder.

Shinji stumbled back, shocked at having run into one of the Boss's old teams so quickly. How? Damn, it should have been obvious. Someone must have seen them driving. They stood out regardless of how long it took the others to catch up to them.

"Why do you have one of Boss's cars?!" the man shouted.

The question made Shinji tighten his grip on the gun.

"Boss gave it to me. I- on a mission" Shinji lied quickly. Damn, he was terrible at lying. He really needed to get better at that.

The soldier took another step forward, blocking the exit as more shouts echoed out from outside. Taller and menacing as he reached for his gun.

"Don't lie to me, boy. You stole it. Stole it from the Boss. How?! What's happened?" the soldier said, stern voice seeming to echo through the store. Loud and commanding, clearly expecting an answer instead of Shinji's stammers.

"No. There was a riot and... " Shinji began just as he spotted Rei sneaking through the aisles, the girl apparently looking for him.

"You're coming with me. And we're getting that car back" the soldier said grabbing Shinji by the wrist.

"No. I'm not going with you" Shinji said trying to sound firm as Rei met his eyes from behind the soldier. The girl staying deathly silent as she considered how to help.

The soldier drew his handgun and Shinji raised his, heart pounding and breathless as he did so.

Rei was quicker than both of them. She raised a fist and slammed it into the back of the soldier's head with all the strength she could muster, the man stumbled forward dropping his gun.

Shinji ran forward, swerving around the man just as Rei started to run with him. Both of them heading for the exit.

He didn't make it for before the soldier, escort of the scavenger teams, grabbed him. Pulling him back and slamming him into store aisle. Shinji groaned as canned food and various clutter went flying, the simple shelves lining the aisle tipping over as he struggled with the soldier.

"What happened to Boss?!" the man shouted.

Shinji awkwardly punched the soldier in the face, in a sickening flap of flesh slamming flesh the soldier grunted before slamming him into the shelf.

His back ached as he felt the wood being pressed into him as he was slammed into the shelf. Gagging from the sudden pain.

CRACK

The wooden shelf splinted and began to break from the blow. Shinji punched the soldiers again, but the man brushed it off as he yanked Shinji aside. The two of them struggling through the store knocking aisles over, but it was a losing battle. Shinji was 17 and his attacker was a grown man.

It wasn't long before Shinji was stuck in a choke hold, struggling to breathe as his eyes started to water. Feeling himself fading even as he tried to aim Aoba's gun somewhere, anywhere but the soldier was too good.

BANG

BANG

Shinji fired the gun twice, each bullet hitting the floor harmlessly as he struggled with his attacker.

Rei had grabbed the soldier's dropped gun, and was following the two of them as they struggled through the store unable to get a clean shot. She stood eyes wide, moving the gun left and right, unwilling to risk firing in case she hit Shinji as the two men struggled.

The soldier knew what he was doing, he used Shinji as a living shield against Rei and the gun...

Shinji gasped, losing air his face turning purple.

He slammed an elbow into the soldier's gut.

The soldier grunted but shook it off.

Shinji ran forward trying to shake the soldier off, but it was no use. The older man wouldn't let go, even as Shinji slammed the both of them into wall. The soldier would not release him... Shinji's vision starting to fade even as Rei started for them with her gun raised.

Suddenly, the sound of car screeching through the streets got their attention. The soldier glanced away, his arms still locked around Shinji's neck, but the moment was all he needed.

Shinji fired the gun managing to aim this time with the lapse in his attacker's concentration.

The bullet went through the soldier's boot. Shinji gasped as his attacker yelled in pain, releasing him in the shock from being shot.

"Ahhh!" Shinji cried breathing out at long last. He slammed the butt of his gun into the soldier's face, shoving the man back, before stumbling towards Rei.

Rei was at his side, one hand reaching for him, the other with the soldier's gun raised and pointing directly at the wounded man. Shinji took her hand, supply bag somehow still wrapped around his wrist, and together they headed for the exit.

Coughing the entire way, throat aching as he ran.

Others were starting to come in. The soldiers shouts of pain had gotten his team's attention, and Shinji could see two scavengers through the window heading for the door.

BANG

Rei fired the soldier's handgun, and the window shattered from the impact. The scavengers outside flinched and leaped back taking cover.

Shinji ran with Rei, the two of them leaving the store through the back and emerging onto the parking lot of the marketplace.

Outside the old scavenger team that went between the two cities was spread out. A group of men and women wearing stitched together traveling cloaks, and two others in faded JSSDF gear.

Need to find Asuka?! She... she must be circling back for us! Shinji thought. He tugged on Rei's hand and they ran away from the adults just as they were noticed.

"Stop right there!" a voice called after them.

Rei glanced back to see nine people running after them, and she ran even harder than before. Her heart pounding as she forced herself to keep going beside Shinji.

They made it onto an empty street, Shinji ignoring the yells of those giving chase. The confused, scared, and desperate remains of the Boss's operations.

BANG

Another shot rang out and Shinji flinched, his hand shaking free of Rei's as he almost fell. Gritting his teeth he kept going, running and turning a corner into an empty street.

His arm felt numb...

Shinji glanced to his side and saw in horror... the blood running down his arm.

He'd been shot.

"Hold on!" Rei called to him. She tugged on his uninjured arm even as he started to wobble.

With a roar, Asuka and the car emerged onto the scene. The slightly rusted, cracked windows, and banged up car coming for them. Stern faced and with wide terrified eyes, Asuka swerved into a hurried park.

Rei slammed into the back door hard, prying the door open even as Shinji stumbled forward.

The scavengers and soldier escort were catching up to them.

"That car doesn't belong to you!"

"Give that back!"

They called, one man had his gun raised again.

Once Shinji and Rei were in, Asuka slammed a foot on the gas pedal. Driving off with a screech of wheels even as another gunshot rang through the empty air.

"Shit!" Asuka cursed as she drove off. Glancing at the rear-view mirror she panicked at the sight of nearly ten people chasing after their car.

Thankfully, the soldiers playing escort were smart enough not to shoot the tires out. They wanted their car back, not to ruin it. In the end... that was what saved them.

Shinji breathed hard, his arm starting to burn up as the pain started to flood his nerves. It had taken a moment for the shock to fade, and now he was feeling everything. He couldn't believe it, he'd been shot!

Rei watched with wide terrified eyes as the men gave chase before easing. It was lost cause and the Boss's men knew it. You can't outrun a car.

…

"Let them go. Nothing out there but wasteland" a panting soldier said.

The group of scavengers watching the car drive off. Some among the group cursing, another gasping from all the running, and many turning to go after the man who'd been shot in the store.

They won't last a week out there one man thought bitterly.

The scavengers turned away, regrouping and returning to their supply run. Never knowing what had happened in Tokyo-03, unaware of riot and mutiny. They had a home to get back too, they needed to know what had happened to Boss and the community...

…

"Shinji. Breathe. Just breathe" Rei was saying.

He lay on his back atop a series of food bags, panting as he saw the blood on his arm again. The bullet was still in there, latched in amid his flesh.

"Where was he hit?" Asuka said, her voice shaking as she drove on and on. She was still shook up over what had happened.

Asuka had waited for Shinji and Rei to come back, when she'd noticed the men emerging onto the lot. The scavengers trying to circle around and take the car.

Asuka remembered turning the car into drive and taking off just as they started to gather around her, one woman trying to step in front before having to swerve out of the way. Asuka hadn't known what had happened, she'd just known to get out of there. Known not to let them in, and she'd started to circle back for Shinji and Rei when she'd heard the gunshots.

"The arm" Rei said reached forward and rolling up and old shirt, wrapping it around Shinji's wound tight.

"I'm okay" Shinji panted. His arm stung and the sight of his blood made him uneasy, but he'd seen wounds before. His old piloting days had seen him face greater pains.

"Stupid Shinji! You're not okay! You were shot!" Asuka shouted at him from the driver's seat.

"It's not his fault. Stop yelling" Rei called back. No glare, not bite in her words, only a calm declaration that Asuka was not helping.

Drive. Just get us out of here Rei's expression seemed to say, before she turned back to Shinji in the back seat.

Asuka didn't argue..

But go where?

No one, not the even scavenging teams, ever went further than Tokyo-02. Too much ground to cover without a car. The unknown.

Can't go back. Can't go back... home is gone. Asuka thought darkly.

---

Beyond

They drove for over a day.

Shinji slipping in and out consciousness, the pain in his arm raising and falling depending on the time of day. It stung him at times, like he had a fever, and he'd sweat before passing out again. Rei pouring a minuscule amount of water on a shirt and placing it over his head.

Time lost meaning for him. Shinji losing track throughout the days, he vaguely remembered Rei sleeping curled up against him.

Remembered Asuka driving through more and more wastelands. Then... suddenly a searing pain that woke him with a yell.

Rei had cut the bullet out of him. Shinji didn't even know when she had, sometime when he'd been unconscious. He'd simply woken with a yell as Rei was pouring alcohol over his open wound, hissing as the liquid burned him before Asuka yelled at him to 'be a man!'

He'd live, but his arm still hurt.

Rei had wrapped a bandage tight around it, having had to grab the supplies in the trunk, and had offered a sigh of relief at his improvement.

…

More days of driving in the wasteland. Gassing up whenever they could at random pit-stops or gas stations along the barren lifeless roads. Always empty.

There were reasons the community in Tokyo-03, not even the Boss and his men, had never ventured further than Tokyo-02. It was nothing but dead lands for miles.

A fact Shinji, Asuka, and Rei were learning the hard way.

It was unnerving, just like Tokyo-03 and 02 had been. The land itself seeming to wither, the plants dead, and the air so very empty.

Yet they drove. Asuka switching places with Rei or Shinji in the driver's seat. Days past this way.

...

When the car started to whine loudly... they stopped by an another abandoned gas station, a pit stop for truckers, and found it truly empty just like all the others. No survivors or even stray animals.

They stayed a night there, keeping both guns at the ready just in case.

Sleeping within arm's reach of each other, being on their own like this made them nervous. So they stayed together, always together. The next morning they gassed up the car with what they could, before moving on again.

Nothing grew in this space and it was no home.

…

There were things they just didn't know. Stories without context... people with unknown reasons for acting the way they did.

Once, while driving pass a city in the distance they spotted smoke towering over the buildings. Ash littering the skyline of a burnt series of buildings. A fire? How? Other survivors rioting just like Tokyo-03?

They'd never know.

Another time they passed by a bridge and spotted a group of actual people, survivors, seemingly fighting over something. Ganging up over one victim on the road. The gang dressed in rags like homeless men and using pipes and other tools as they ganged up beating a man bloody.

When the ragged men spotted the car, they abandoned their victim and chased them. Asuka cursing as the gang ran after the car,

It was insane... one man throwing a hammer at the already damaged windows. It crashed into the car shattering more glass.

Rei flinching beside Shinji as he winced.

Asuka driving on.

Shinji glanced at Aoba's gun in the back seat. They had thirty four rounds... if it came to it... could he? But he saw Asuka shaking her head.

You can't outrun a car and so the three of them left the ragged men behind.

…

That incident wasn't the only one. Just the first.

It might have made them monsters but they never stopped to help anyone. The strange unusual sights they came across driving through the wastelands.

The violence that seemed to erupt after the End of the World. More than once they spotted roads leading to other cities. More than once they spotted people wandering just as lost, desperate looks in their eyes, and people chasing them for the car.

…

"No more cities" Asuka said one day among the wastes.

Shinji sat up, blinking in surprise, and wincing from pain in his arm. The wound was closing but the arm ached when he moved too quickly and he was developing a scar.

Rei stirred beside him in the back seats of their car. Shifting to hear Asuka as she drove them. They were all a little shaken after the incidents they'd seen traveling out here.

"It's dangerous." Rei added thinking intently.

Asuka nodded saying "Aoba was right. People are... they might try to take the car or... or our supplies again."

Or throw hammers at us. Or shoot at us with stolen guns... what happened to people. It's like everyone broke one day. Why? Because of me... I brought us back to this he thought bitterly. Glancing down at his bandaged arm. The arm where a grown adult had shot him.

"Wherever we go, we stay together." was all Shinji said. He wasn't the leader here, there really wasn't one. They just 'talked' and made a decision.

"Yeah... you idiots wouldn't last a day without me" Asuka said managing a forced smirk.

It was a nice thought, trying to add some levity to things, and it sort of worked. Shinji smiled meekly at that, glancing at Rei before taking his seat again in the back.

Rei took his hand as they sat. Breathing calmly and intertwining their fingers with a gentle squeeze as Asuka drove them through the wasteland. Staying away from the major roads and trying to avoid people as they traveled.

...

Shinji watched the stars at night when it wasn't his turn to drive, watched from the back window and wondered where his Eva was among the evening sky.

Rei slept softly beside him when she could, resting her head on his shoulder. Humming softly as she curled into him. Finding comfort in his company for reasons he didn't fully understand, but he didn't mind. They'd been through a lot.

Aoba... Aoba how far do we go? What's out there? Shinji wondered more than once.

…

The car started to give out after a while.

No matter how much they tried to refuel the car with abandoned gas stations between cities, it didn't work. None of them were mechanics and the car itself had had to be repaired and fixed up to get them this far.

All in all it made for long strenuous days were Rei tried to keep them all in a good mood. The pale girl had a habit of humming softly, soothing them in their darkest days where the car started to whine and slowly die with every passing day.

…

They left the car where it had finally broken down. In the middle of a clogged road somewhere empty just like all the others.

Asuka checked the handguns, reloaded the clips with the ammo in the trunk, and handed one to Shinji. Rei watching his wounded, but healing, arm with a frown.

"I'll be okay" Shinji told her even as the three of them were forced to continue on foot.

The ruins of another city were visible in the distance, but they headed around it. Wary of what, if any, people might be there.

Three young adults wandering out in the wastes. They'd covered a lot of ground by driving almost nonstop, but now they traveled on foot.

---

When it happened... it took them all by surprise. Rei tugging on his arm as Asuka glanced up debating whether or not to shoot it.

A bird flying above.

It was so surreal, Shinji gazing above with wide sleep deprived eyes.

That was the first sign that Aoba had been right again. The bird.

Soon it was other things. Signs of life beyond the wastelands that extend from Tokyo-03 and onward for miles and miles finally seemed to be ending.

Grass.

Real faded green and yellow grass. Small patches of it reappearing among the grey wastes that been the scorched earth of Third Impact. Life seem to coming back with each passing step they took.

It made them giddy just to see it. So much people take for granted until it's gone.

There was more beyond the wastes.

---

Journeying through Japan took it's toll on them. They never stayed in one place too long, Shinji's arm having healed long ago. But none of them having had a bath in weeks. Eating less as they rationed food more and more. Living off what they could.

Avoiding other survivors for fear of the incidents from before.

When they spotted an airplane laying in an empty field of grass, it took them all by shock. Not an armored military aircraft, but a single commercial flight. The kind they'd seen coming and going over Tokyo-03 a lifetime ago.

Big and tough, the marvel of human ingenuity lay broken and split across its middle. The airline number having faded long ago. It lay in pieces near an old forest that somehow survived the end of the world.

Long skid marks that deepened into trenches lay where it had crashed, the tough metal having cut into the earth itself upon its descent.

"What the heck happened?" Asuka said in awe.

Shinji and Rei followed closely behind, taking in the sight and moving to inspect it.

Their hair was unwashed and showed signs of dirt mulling in, clothes wrinkled and tattered, shoes worn out and breaking, weary from the endless walking.

"It crashed" Rei said simply. Funny, something so bizarre and traumatic reduced to two words.

Shinji ran a hand along the hull, feeling the rusted metal. Feeling his chest tighten, he walked along the side finding the gaping hole where the plane and split... and he stepped inside.

"Shinji? Hey what are you doing?" Asuka asked frowning as Rei followed.

"Hey!" Asuka shouted slightly annoyed. Shinji and Rei stepping into the airplane from where it had split.

We don't know what's in there?! Asuka thought reaching for their spare gun. She rushed in after her 'family' ready for anything.

Shinji stumbled through the plane, finding it completely empty save for the clothes of those taken during Instrumentality.

"It was me... I did this" Shinji whispered under his breathe.

---

Images flashed by his. Memories that were his and not his. Scars from the Third Impact that lingered in his mind.

Flashes of people being taken, of this plane and its passengers screaming as they 'vanished'. The pilot disappearing with a yell... the plane left empty with not a soul on board. The controls unmanned as the plane descended and eventually crashed.

His mind wheeled in horror as the images continued. Him making his choice to reject Instrumentality... much later when people started to come back... the passengers came back near where they had been taken.

When the waves of survivors had started to return, these people had emerged into existence thousands of feet in the air... materialized up in the clouds only to fall to their deaths miles and miles away from where this plane lay...

He could see them falling... he could only watch as they came back only to die all over again.

How many more? How many times had something like this happened? People coming back in the air, in the water, in places were they could not survive... came back only to die again anyway.

Shinji had killed them... he hadn't known... he couldn't have known...

---

Rei was at his side, hand on his forehead.

"Shinji?" she asked, Asuka watching from the sidelines with a concerned frown.

Blood was running down his nose, dripping down his face as Shinji's eyes fell. The horror of what hed seen forming another 'scar' in his mind. Another sin that he'd bare for the rest of his day.

Rei grabbed him by the wrist calling his name.

And Shinji snapped out of it, shaking his head and wiping the trickle of blood from his face. Breathing heavily as he blinked surprised to feel a layer of sweat on his forehead again, the visions that came and went. Haunting him even now.

He held up a hand saying "I'm okay. Sorry- I just... doesn't matter."

Asuka and Rei exchanged looks. They didn't believe him.

"We should stop for the day. Let's make camp, maybe find food in the forest" Rei said glancing around the empty aircraft. Keeping her hand on his, grounding Shinji in the here and now... he was grateful for that. He thought Rei would never know how much that meant to him.

Asuka was watching him with a curious expression.

What do you see Shinji? Why are you haunted? She thought.

…

They found berries and other food in the forest.

Even animals, birds and insects living among the trees. Even a bear that kept its distance far away among the trees, a warning for them to be careful out here.

Shinji and the girls didn't venture too far in, afraid they'd get lost, but they did find a forest stream. A source of water that they took advantage of.

Taking the chance to bathe after months of travel. Shinji waiting patiently behind the trees for his turn before Rei surprised them by grabbing him and dragging him to bathe too.

"What the hell are you doing?!" Asuka shouted at them, covering herself and kneeling down further into the water. The sight of Rei tugging an embarrassed Shinji into the stream with them making Asuka want to punch the both of them.

"It is faster this way" Rei said simply. Seemingly immune to the shame and embarrassment Shinji and Asuka felt.

"Rei... just... just keep that way and I'll keep to my side" Shinji said determinedly looking at his feet as he walked along the shallow end of the forest stream.

"You better not look!" Asuka shouted his way.

I wasn't! Jeez... sigh Rei never did care about these kind of things. Should have expected it. Shinji thought awkwardly.

So that was how they bathed. Rei and Asuka keeping to their side and Shinji keeping to his, Rei uncaring about the situation whilst Asuka sent silent glares his way. Shinji knew he wasn't perfect, but damn what did they think he would do?

He didn't look their way. Not once.

Shinji waited for them to get out and get dressed again before he left the stream, Rei tilting her head at his hesitance but saying nothing. Asuka was still seething but thankfully ignored him for a few hours.

It wasn't my idea Shinji thought.

Finding water was a luxury, and they refilled their old water bottles and luckily found extras in the crashed plane.

---

Part 2:
Camp

Two days later
Four Years After Third Impact

At camp

Staying in the forest was a decent experience. Almost a year of traveling and they'd found a new 'home' these past two days.

Living off what grew there, and being careful in case they accidentally eat something poisonous, and learning to make fires with what they had. In the end, Rei had been the one to finally get one started.

Shinji and Asuka watching in awe as Rei made fire using only wood and stone.

The three of them sat or lay down on the forest grounds and piles of blankets they'd set up, keeping warm by their fire. Eating their precious canned food cooked for once, and thoroughly enjoying a warm meal.

Asuka lay on a blanket dozing off, near sleep, and breathing softly. Seemingly calm for the first time in weeks, at ease for once.

Still... Shinji sat apart from Asuka and Rei at times. Lost in his thoughts and staring at his hands, his arm aching again as it did from time to time. The bullet scar aching amid his skin softly despite all this time.

The visions hadn't come back for days, yet the memories that were not his own remained. The flashes of what happened to that plane and its passengers. It weighed on him. Everything clung to him these days, things he might never wash his hands of.

Rei joined him, sitting down beside him with an empty can of food in hand.

"You're not hungry" Rei said, not a question.

Shinji glanced her way offering a soft smile. The two of them sitting together and watching the shadows dance as the fire stirred along calmly. The shockingly rare peaceful night being good for all of them.

"I'm alright. Just a lot on my mind" Shinji answered.

"Your dreams again?" Rei asked.

He stilled. Shinji didn't like that they knew. They were his problem, not theirs. They had enough to deal with already.

"Yeah" Shinji said in a low voice, looking away and shuddering despite the warmth. Almost four years now and the visions hadn't stopped, they came and they went without warning.

The plane... oh god... that damn plane Shinji thought darkly. Feeling his chest tighten at what he'd been forced to see... to see the people he'd brought back only to die anyway.

He hadn't told the girls about it. What would that have done?

Rei signed softly, scooting closer to him before he'd realized it.

She'd really changed after four years. Rei's hair was no longer short. All that time in Tokyo-03 trying to lay low and hid her features... and now wandering out in the open world she'd stopped caring.

Her figure had grown out, becoming more and more adult like, not that scrawny girl he'd met so long ago. Rei had let her hair grow out, almost shoulder length now. She wasn't that quiet girl whom couldn't decide what clothes to wear anymore. She'd saved his life back in Tokyo-02 and she checked up on him when she thought something was wrong.

He'd changed too.

Shinji kept his hair short, and his stubble had started growing more and more. He doubted he'd ever grow a real beard, he just wasn't 'manly' per say. Shinji was no Kaji, that was for sure. But he'd gotten taller and though his ragged and dirt stained clothes didn't show it, his body had filled out more too.

"What are you thinking about?" Rei asked him, glancing at him with gentle eyes. Warm. Eying his features the way he'd been hers.

Shinji coughed awkwardly. He found it unnerving to see the expressive side of Rei, but not unpleasant. He... he liked seeing that side of her.

"You. Me. All of us. Everything that's happened" Shinji said shaking his awkwardness. He wasn't that 14 year old kid anymore.

"It's not your fault" Rei said suddenly.

Shinji blinked.

"What?"

"Shinji. It's not your fault. I can see it in your eyes. You keep blaming yourself for everything" Rei said turning to face him with those unblinking red eyes of hers.

"I don't." Shinji stammered unable to keep her gaze, it hurt to be called out on things. Shame at his own self hatred and his failures.

"You do" Rei corrected with a tired sigh.

I made this world. I... all of this was me. I couldn't stop SEELE or my father! Tokyo-03? I couldn't stop the Boss and the rioters from burning our home down. I was just a stupid kid watching the world burn a second time. Didn't even see it coming. Here! Here at this damned forest I see more death. Faces that I erased. Me! Always me! Misato, Kaji, Ritsuko, Aoba... ah-

Aoba died and I just ran to the car while he was shot! I- I should have done more but I was just a stupid kid in a firefight!

And Mom... oh mom. What are we supposed to do down here?! You just left with the Eva! You just left!

All the thoughts and images from the past few years running through his head as Shinji closed his eyes tight as if in pain. No, that wouldn't do. He had to push it down again.

Rei put a hand on his shoulder.

Shinji froze, slowly opening his eyes as Rei leaned in closer to him.

"It's not your fault. You are not a God, Shinji. Everything that's happened just happened. No one could control it" Rei whispered.

Shinji sighed heavily.

"I know Rei. I do. I'm just... guilty. Haunted" Shinji said in barely a whisper. Lost in his own thoughts again. He knew Rei meant well, he loved her for that. He really did, but maybe he was just broken. Carrying the weight of a thousand failures.

Rei watched him before closing her eyes and taking a small breathe. Seeming to steel herself for up something. It was a strange sight. Shinji had never known her to do anything like that, and it caught his eye even as she suddenly avoided his.

He watched the pale skinned girl staring at the flames of their camp fire as he had done moments ago.

"I have them too, Shinji. I have dreams that I cannot explain. Memories that are not my own." Rei said suddenly.

Shinji stared at her open mouthed.

"You- you do?" he said in awe.

Rei nodded, gazing at the dancing flames of their camp fire.

"Dreams of him. Of Gendo killing Ritsuko. I can see... I have dreams from when the world ended... where I see you suffering. I can remember you screaming as Asuka died and you were taken. I remember wanting to see you again, Shinji. To stop your pain. I- I remember chasing Aoba as he died. I remember it all..." Rei said, her voice shaking.

All this time... I knew she had some memories like I did... but all that... Rei... he thought. He never would have guessed that Rei had lied, he didn't blame her. Part of him wished he'd lied when people had asked him what had happened all those years ago.

Rei had remembered everything after all. Had remembered Third Impact in all its horror, had carried the guilt just as he did.

"I do not want these memories. That- that was not me. I didn't kill Aoba. But I see his face... I see his death... both of them" Rei continued, her calm mask breaking as she shuddering looking like she wanted to cry.

Shinji took her hand. He didn't know what to say, and maybe that was okay. He pulled her close wrapping his arm around her in a hug, being there for her the way she was for him.

"It's not our fault Shinji. The past is the past" Rei said shuddering even as Shinji comforted her.

The instigator, and the vessel of Instrumentality, sitting together and taking comfortable in one another, living on with guilt that came and went. A curse they would probably carry for the rest of their days.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know Rei. I didn't know. Why didn't you tell me? I would- would have... I don't know. I'd have been there for you" Shinji said shuddering with her by the camp fire.

Rei smiled sadly. "Why didn't you tell us about your visions?" she asked softly.

In the end, Asuka and Rei hadn't needed to ask him. His grunts at night and his 'incidents' had more than given it away.

"I didn't want you to worry" Shinji said somberly.

"And I didn't want you to worry" Rei parroted.

Shinji laughed, he couldn't help it. Rei laughed with him. Soft and song like, her laugh was beautiful. Such a rare thing for Rei. Her life having been broken more than his had ever been.

"We are an odd pair, you and I. Worrying for each other but hiding our pains from the other." Rei said in a small chuckle, watery eyes shinning in the fire light. Damn, she'd been close to tears before he had hugged her.

"... it's not your fault Rei" Shinji said, whispering her own words back to her.

Rei found the irony in it too. She beamed lightly up at him, traces of tears still visible. Hauntingly beautiful in its own way. So very human in the end.

"We have to let it go Shinji. The past only hurts" Rei whispered softly at him. Letting herself 'feel' and accept her own pains and visions for the first time.

"I know." Shinji said taking a deep pained breathed before continuing, "but it's hard. They come and they go... haunting us."

"We are free, Shinji. The past is the past. Gendo and SEELE are gone. The Angels are gone. The Evas are gone. It's just us... and... and we are together." Rei said the emotions in her voice catching him by the heart.

I am not alone. Not anymore Rei's eyes seemed to say. A pain that Shinji had felt just as well.

Looking back on it, Shinji couldn't say where the idea had come from. Maybe it just always been there building up and Shinji had been too stupid to see it. Maybe Rei had seen it but didn't know to respond. He hadn't.

Shinji kissed her.

It wasn't something he'd practiced. He just leaned in and pressed his lips to her.

Rei's eyes widened and she froze, unsure as her lips met his. Then slowly, she curved her lips to match his. Movement for moment, soft and warm. Hesitant just as he was.

When he pulled away to breathe again, he found that his skin was warm. His heart thumping in his chest, not the chest breaking adrenaline from a firefight, but something more, something so... so alive. A mixture of joy and sorrow, excitement and contentment. A paradox of emotions that he didn't care to explain.

Rei shifted to face him better. Smiling as she leaned her head closer to his. They sat together, Rei in his lap, arms on his shoulders, his hand nervously on her hip, basking in each others' warmth. Red eyes meeting brown, breathing softly from the emotions pulsing through their veins.

"Why did you wait so long to kiss me?" Rei said breaking the silence with a gentle ease.

Shinji panted offering only a weak grin. Laughing at himself more than anything else. Why had he waited so long? They'd lived together for years now. Rei had come to his bed when he'd had night terrors, had shaken him awake and held his hand on the worst nights. He'd held her hand after the Fall and they were all on the run.

"I... I don't know. I just- just felt I didn't deserve anything like that. And I was scared" Shinji answered.

"Scared of what?" Rei asked tilting her head at him.

That you'd leave. That I break apart our family at the end of the world. I don't know... a million different things he thought.

"I honestly have no idea anymore" Shinji answered, shaking his head at his own stupidity.

Rei grinned up at him, reaching a nervous hand to his cheek and pulling him closer to press her lips to his again. Shinji wished he was better at this, wished they weren't two teenagers, no two young adults at the end of the world finding a glimmer in the dark. Wished they could have had better than this, but by god... he embraced it. The only one whom understood his pain, and he the only whom understood her pain.

They lay on the blanket kissing softly, Rei running a hand through his hair with a soft, pleasant, hum.

Meanwhile,

Asuka stirred sleepily wondering what the ruffling of leaves was about. She grabbed the soldier's gun Rei had stolen, reaching to sit up and look for the threat...

Only to see the new couple on the forest grounds gently embracing each other. Asuka's grip on the gun laxed and she rolled her eyes with a small laugh.

About time. Love birds have been pining over each other for 'years'. Practically have their own language by now Asuka thought.

She shook her head and turned back to her blanket, rolling over and giving her two idiots some privacy and going back to sleep.

---

The next day Shinji woke to find a body laying peacefully beside him. Rei asleep and curled up against him, her small breathes calm and low in his ear. He watched the pale girl sleeping on the blanket with him and didn't want to disturb her.

She really was beautiful he thought, light skin and blue white hair that made her stand out, ever growing in character, and kind. So very kind and understanding.

He would have laid there longer, letting Rei sleep, but Asuka had other plans.

"Oh good. The lovebirds are finally awake" a teasing playful voice called out.

Shinji groaned inwardly, someday he'd laugh about this but not today, as Rei stirred woken by the outburst. The pale beauty stretching as she uncurled herself from him, opening her eyes slowly and smiling softly at him.

"Morning Asuka" Shinji said in a slightly annoyed expression.

Asuka smirked and plopped down and took by the old camp fire. The thing having gone out sometime during the night.

"Good morning" Rei said glancing at Asuka and tilting her head.

Asuka looked at the two of them, her eyes moving from one then to the other, with a coy expression planted on her face.

"Well, while you two were busy enjoying yourselves I refiled our water bottles. You're welcome. Now, someone needs to make breakfast." Asuka said crossing her arms.

She must have been waiting for us to get up. Oh, sorry Asuka. Shinji thought. He was glad that she hadn't kicked him awake or anything, though he suspected that was more for Rei's sake than his. Asuka was still Asuka.

"Yeah, yeah. I'll do it" Shinji said getting up even as Rei trailed a hand after him, her fingers brushing against his as he left.

She sat up from their blanket and watched him work, seemingly at ease at the whole thing, Asuka rolling her eyes at both of them again.

…

Their little camp in the forest was strange. Packing supplies in the old plane, living off the plant life and the forest stream, rationing out the canned food carefully.

Shinji spending his nights with Rei, Asuka politely giving them their space or else watching them with amused eyes. Teasing them about the whole thing as she'd say 'alright, I'm going for a walk. Try not to burn the camp down while I'm gone'.

Time passed and they turned 19. But their days in the forest didn't last.

In retrospect, they should have suspected it when the silence came. The thing about forests is that they're noisy, animals and bugs going about their business, leaving them alone as they kept their distance, but still a presence.

One day, that stopped. Like the remaining animals felt a danger that Shinji and the others didn't.

Snow.

The cold winds were raising again.

Shinji standing there with Rei at his side, her hand in his, Asuka coming to join them as they shivered in the suddenly cold air. The white powder beginning to fall from above in small tiny little pellets.

Like specks of dust they came. The signs of change. Small pellets of ice forming in the forest stream...

---

The shelter of the crashed airplane

"We have to leave."

Asuka was one to say it aloud. Breaking the illusion that their little 'camp' would last forever, that they could live off the plant life. There was no telling how long the cold would last this time.

"And go where?" Shinji asked glumly.

He and Rei sat together in one of the airline's overturned seats. Asuka sitting across from them, shuddering in the cold even with their blankets.

"Further. Aoba was right once, maybe he'll be again." Asuka said as Rei rubbed her hands together with Shinji's.

None of them had any jackets, there hadn't been time to grab anything in Toyko-03 when it fell. God, hard to believe the Fall was over a year ago he thought.

Shinji met Asuka's gaze and thought about it.

He'd been wrong before. He'd thought whatever had happened had been all over the world, and in a sense that was right. But in another it was wrong. Whatever had killed the trees and soil, had contaminated the seas, and scorched the earth from Tokyo-03 to Tokyo-02 hadn't been everywhere. The three of them had found this forest.

They had found life clinging to existence out here in the middle of nowhere.

"Ground zero. That explains it" Rei said seeming to read Shinji's mind.

Asuka looked between the couple, wondering how the hell they could communicate without speaking like that. And shivering in the cold.

"Tokyo-03 and 02... they were the starting points for all this. This forest is proof that the damage didn't hit everything. That there is more than the wastelands" Rei said simply.

"We found life here... how far until we find it again" Shinji said darkly. It had taken them months and months of travel by car and foot to reach this place. Who knows how far they'd have to travel again?

What if there's more wasteland? I can feel it, I don't know how but I do. Maybe the world isn't all dead... but it's not all 'alive' either Shinji thought.

A searing pain erupted in his head.

"Gah" Shinji gasped, clutching his head. Hand starting to shake again. A tremor he was starting to develop.

Images began to flash through his mind, things he didn't want to see... destruction on a global scale. Remnants of the Third Impact as it was rejected and the process scarring the world itself.

It felt like tiny blades were cutting through his brain tissue... he saw bits of land seemingly untouched by the Impact, he saw other scars on the earth. Wastelands scattered throughout. A mixed and twisted puzzle of lands... he saw flashes of the world.

When Shinji opened his eyes, he found Rei and Asuka staring him. Rei holding his hand as the tremor faded and he caught himself.

"You... you okay?" Asuka said stepping closer and watching him with concerned eyes.

"I'll be fine" Shinji said shrugging it off. He had Rei, and even without words he knew that she was there for him and he was there for her. He could feel it as she squeezed his hand gently.

Before any of them could worry more, Shinji shook his head saying "Asuka's right. We have to leave. I-"

He hesitated there. What could he say? That his visions had just shown him things he couldn't explain but knew were real. That they hurt his head... it didn't matter. They had bigger things to worry about than his silly issues. He needed to toughen up if they were to live in this world.

"There has to be more places like this. Places we can live in." Shinji finished, the two girls noticed his pause but choosing not to comment.

"So it's settled. We leave." Rei said looking up at Asuka and nodding.

They didn't really have a leader. They were more of a family than a group. Shared experiences bonding them through it all.

Shinji wiped the small drips of blood from his nose before they could notice, playing it off as if he was merely cold.

They slept together in the broken airplane, their shelter from the elements. In the morning, they gathered all the supplies they could and took off into the unknown.

---

Part 3:
Wanderers

Further into the world

The snow that came was light specs of white in the air for days. Shinji, Rei, and Asuka traveling through the barren world. The forest having long disappeared on their journey as the cold started to return.

Plants emerging in the strangest of places as they traveled. Pockets of grass appearing in one place, and wastelands appearing in the other. Generally, they followed the signs of life looking for a new home.

Living off what they could.

That was things about the End of the World. Cities just didn't work, too many mouths to fed, thousands of thousands of people gathering in one place was a relic of the past, but three wanderers? It was possible to find food for them if they rationed it carefully.

Eating expired canned food when they could find it, shooting a bird or two when they could and crudely cooking it. The cold winds chasing them wherever they went.

The roads icing over. What trees remained cracking as their branches froze with each passing day, the three of them taking shelter where they could. Abandoned cars, under brides, abandoned pit stops.

Even that came with its own challenges. They weren't alone out there after all.

Several times, they ran into stray dogs or else other survivors.

Most were not friendly.

...

BANG

Shinji grunted firing Aoba's gun, panting out in the cold weather along the empty road. Plant life beginning to disappear under a light sheet of snow.

"Gah!" the ragged man cried out. Dropping his shovel and falling to the floor, Shinji never lowering the gun.

Asuka crawled away stumbling to her feet and running back to them, Rei helping her back up whilst Shinji kept the gun trained on their attacker.

The looter screamed and cursed, struggling to stand with the bullet in his knee.

Behind him, two other men stood frozen unsure of what to do. Guns made a big difference in a fight, even in their hands and not soldiers.

"Get out of here!" Shinji shouted at the ambushers.

So much for trying to do the right thing for once. Trying to help an old man out in the cold begging for help, claiming his weak joints hurt and that he couldn't move. He'd moved alright, had tried to grab Asuka as he whistled for the others signaling this little ambush.

Taking advantage of people's good will, Shinji should have learned from when they had the car. There were things they just couldn't know... stories without context, and desperate people set up little tricks like this.

"Just wanted food" the man on the ground was moaning.

"Screw you!" Asuka shouted reaching over to kick him in the face.

The other two ambushers kept their distance, younger men, all frightened by Shinji's gun. When Asuka pulled her gun out and pointed it at them too... they finally took off. Running away from a fight they couldn't win and leaving their partner behind.

This... this what these people became... disgusting Shinji thought darkly. He was dressed in ragged clothing himself, wrapping layer upon layer of clothes over himself to stay warm. Asuka and Rei were the same, and it made it easier for them to conceal their guns.

Shinji and the girls left the man screaming on the road. Walking around him entirely, steel faced and ignoring the wounded ambushers cries for help.

---

Traveling on foot was never easy. Stray dogs started to appear, roaming around in packs through the wilderness that reveled itself more and more before being covered in snow. Kept at bay by a bullet or else with sticks. Never a pleasant task but somehow the three managed it.

They always slept together now, laying close with the two guns at the ready. Very careful not to waste any bullets. Never trying to hunt with them, saving every shot for incident like the ambush.

In that... Shinji saw the worst in humanity.

…

More months passed as they traveled ahead of winter. Shivering out in the cold, panting as they traveled further and further. The world beginning to wear them down as the days passed... the light beginning to fade from their eyes.

...

It was easy to judge the whole world broken. To claim that everyone was broken, looking out only for themselves, willing to do anything survive. To steal from another living human being, to ambush and kill for loot, to lose any semblance of humanity.

But the world is not always so black and white. That was something Shinji learned when they stumbled across the Inoue family.

It had happened purely by accident.

Them voting on whether or not to cross a bridge or else take another route on their journey forward, unwilling to go back where the snow and ice lingered.

Ultimately decided to cross and finding the biggest surprise of all, a traveling family of survivors resting up past the bridge.

Dressed in the ragged and somewhat dirty clothes of travelers, they stood out in the cold resting just off the road. Three in all.

A man and his wife with their son.

A child... an actual child.

Asuka saw them first. Pointing them out just as the family up ahead spotted them and rose to their feet, the father rising to his feet warily as they approached.

Shinji felt himself reach for Aoba's gun, but didn't pull it free. Asuka did the same whilst Rei watched carefully.

"Hello" the father said. A middle aged man looking them over with just as much surprise.

"Hey" Shinji said panting from the cold air.

The two groups stood in silence for a moment. Sizing each other up in the winter air, curious and uncertain of the other. From their expressions, he figured they'd had similar experiences as Shinji, Rei, and Asuka. Strangers were almost never good news.

"You come from the community in Omiya-02?" the man said at last.

Shinji blinked in surprise. So these people had come back from Omiya city 02? Another densely populated city in the old world. Another community of survivors.

"Tokyo-03" Rei answered calmly, looking over to the wife whom kept a hand on her son's shoulder. The boy must have been 12 years old at the most.

The father raised his eyebrows at that, letting out a low whistle.

"That's a long way off... how the hell did you kids make it that far?" the father said.

"Makio" the man's wife snapped.

Makio, the man's name was, glanced back at his wife before turning back to them.

"We found a way." Asuka said crossing her arms. She couldn't help but feel uneasily, their experiences from the months since leaving the forest hadn't been kind to them. It made her deeply mistrustful of anyone not in her 'family'.

"Uh... we don't want any trouble. Just passing through" Shinji said gesturing at the empty road laying ahead.

"I see... well then... good luck out there" Makio said awkwardly moving aside. The middle aged man making a show of stepping aside to let them pass.

That's something. Maybe not everyone's broken out here Shinji thought, still on edge but letting it fade.

"Bye" Asuka said starting forward. They were just going on their way when they were stopped by Makio's wife. The woman calling out to them.

"Why don't you stay a bit? We can... we can trade" the middle aged woman called out.

Shinji stopped in his tracks, Rei already turning to face the family.

Makio argued quietly with his wife, having their conversation in unease whispers.

"They're barely adults. Kids stuck in all this mess"

"Let them pass. We have our own problems"

That was about all Shinji could make out from their whispers. He glanced back at Rei and Asuka, none of them knowing what to make of it all.

Finally, the wife strode over calmly extending a hand.

"Please. My name is Kioko. We've had a hard time out here, can't imagine what it's been like for you. It's not much, but you look like you could use the rest. We... we have food and we can share and if you're willing too as well" the woman said.

Makio sighed behind his wife, keeping a hand on his son's shoulder. The boy was awfully quiet, Shinji couldn't imagine what it must have been like for the kid. Having to see all this darkness out here.

"... okay" Shinji said slowly.

---

Makio and Kioko Inoue. With their son Ichiro.

They were oddly enough good people. It shouldn't have been such a surprise but somewhere in the back of his mind Shinji had thought there were no good people anymore.

Makio had been doctor before the world ended, with his wife Kioko having been a nurse working in the hospital with him.

"We came back in Omiya-02. That's where we were taken. Returned in the hospital wards with a few of our coworkers." Makio was saying, telling his story.

All six of them sitting further away from the road and silently agreeing to share a meal.

"First weeks were hard. Hundreds and hundreds of us cramped into the city. Just coming back. Someone started organizing us and we lived in our old home for awhile." Kioko said, her son staying close as he listened nodding his head as he remembered too.

"But it went wrong" Asuka guessed.

"Yes... of yes. Too many people... things just fell apart. Fights started to break out and we left. Just ran away. Been living out here as best we could but it's not easy." Makio said finishing his family's tale.

Cities... too many people. Just doesn't work anymore Shinji thought bitterly.

"But we're not alone out here. People trade every now and again. People finding ways to make a living and maybe a bit more" Makio said his eyes starting to brighten.

"Really?" Rei asked genuinely surprised. From everything they'd seen, the world wasn't all the nice anymore. If it ever had been.

"There are rumors among the traders out here. A settlement out in the rural country side. Almost untouched by the Impact. Surviving on its own. They call it Haven. A village between a series of mountains" Makio continued.

Shinji held Rei's hand as Makio and Kioko told their story. The two sitting together even as Asuka sat beside them, listening but unsure of what to make of it.

"That's where we're heading... we're trying to find Haven. And... and maybe you should join us" Kioko said suddenly. The middle aged woman seeming genuine in her concern for them.

Makio stared at his wife, not sure what to make of it. This family had oblivious been through a lot just as Shinji and his had. This world tended to make one selfish, often with good reason, and here Kioko seemingly going out of her way to help them.

"... why?" Asuka asked. Crossing her arms, deeply mistrustful despite the good will they'd all earned by being civilized and talking at camp.

Kioko glanced over Shinji, looking him up and down, before turning to Asuka and Rei. Two young women out here in this broken world. So few people had come back, a fraction of what once had been, and very few children and youngsters returned.

Shinji understood.

Traveling through the wastelands and the pockets of life scattered about, they found few if any women either. They weren't sure why. There were women, but less than the men. Maybe because Japan had had more men than women in the first place. Maybe there were more women out there, but they simply hid because of what the world had come too. The men that roamed the wastes... the violence and desperation that had broken out.

---

They decided to travel with Makio and Kioko Inoue and their son. Two families traveling through the lands in search of Haven. Usually avoiding other groups of survivors.

The Inoue family were kind, sharing with they could and surprised but glad that Shinji, Rei, and Asuka had guns to defend them if needed.

Makio was a doctor and he knew certain things about making it through the day, he claimed it would help them get into Haven. That he could work for his keep.

Shinji was inclined to agree. Skills would be the new currency now.

Weeks passed, Shinji and family growing at ease with the Inoue. The boy speaking softly with them every now and again.

There were a few close calls as they ascending into the higher terrains. Towards the mountains and the wilderness up there. The roads seeming curving in and out of steep grounds, creating a disconcerting effect of randomness as you ascended. Things simply 'jumping out' at you once you climbed up the road.

And that was how they found Haven. Or rather the guard post at the entrance.

Climbing up the steep grounds and following the road up the mountainous lands, before stumbling across the blockade. The structure emerging into existence just as they climbed high, a thick 'wall' surrounded by forests on either side. Fences lining the sides to block entry forward.

It had stopped two days ago, the land was slippery as Shinji, Rei, and Asuka trudged up the hill with Inoue family. Struggling through the area as they met the outpost standing sentry.

A 'gate' of some kind that had been built into the wall along the only road leading to this old farming settlement. A high base and walls with 'guards' stationed on top, seeming to emerge onto the scene as the group stumbled through the forest roads.

Wow... just kinda jumps out at you. One moment the wildness and roads, and the next... the entrance to the village Shinji thought.

His short-lived surprise and delight ended when a gun was pointed at them.

The Inoue family stumbling in just as much surprise, Makio rising his hands up in a peaceful gesture. His son scrambling behind him as his wife did the same.

Shinji glanced at Rei and found she had grabbed one of their guns, but hadn't pulled it up yet. Asuka already had hers out.

"No Asuka" Shinji whispered, reaching a hand over and carefully lowering her wrists.

"Whoa! Calm! Calm... peace my friends." Makio said holding his hands up.

From atop the outpost, three grown men in old farmer's garb had hunting rifles pointed at them. Watching their group with distrustful eyes.

Hunting rifles... and so many of them... how? Shinji thought. From what he knew of his country's history, hunting licenses were rare.

"Why are you here?!" one of the guards called out harshly.

"Um. We came to trade. Maybe find a place to live... I- I'm a physician and my wife is a nurse. We can work for our stay or else-" Makio began.

"Anyone can say they're a doctor. Doesn't mean anything. Haven worries about our own first. We don't need any stragglers wandering in" another guard called.

Asuka was seething, glancing over the three men and their rifles. Their time traveling the various wastelands and oasis of Japan had left her hardened. Willing to fight if it came to it.

Shinji disagreed. They had to be better than that. He'd seen things were not so black and white, Makio and his wife were proof of that.

He walked forward calmly, Rei grunting her disapprove as he tugged free of her hands.

"Wait. Please, we've came a long way. I've have been traveling since Tokyo-03. Just hear us out." Shinji said walking towards the gate slowly.

"Tokyo-03? Seriously kid?" a guard said blinking in surprise, the man's grip on the rifle lightening up ever so slightly.

Yeah. Only took about two and a half years, but we've come a long way Shinji thought.

Makio was watching him, he could see where Shinji was going with this but him and his family had returned much closer to Haven than Shinji and the girls had.

"Seriously. It hasn't always been easy out here" Asuka said gesturing at the wilderness around them that proceeded the settlement up ahead. Rei only had eyes for Shinji and the men with guns, watching in case something happened.

Kioko held her son close, looking up at the guard pleadingly.

Whatever the guards had been expecting to defend Haven from, it most certainly hadn't been this.

The third guard started to move, speaking up for the first time during the entire ordeal.

"They're good people. Those three are at least." the man said with a rough but at ease voice. The sound of a man who'd seen his fare share of fights.

The other guards looked at him in surprise as he slung the rifle over his back, and reached over hopping down from their man made gate-wall outpost. The third man landed with a soft thud as the Makio and his family stepped back.

Shinji stared at the man in confusion.

"You know these people?" another guard called out nervous from up high. The two farmers exchanging hurried glances.

"I know these three. Shin right? No, that's not it" the man standing before them said. He wasn't dressed in the farmer's garb like the others, he wore a light coat over a pair of fatigues and was maybe a year or two over thirty.

Now that the guard stood on the ground with them, Shinji could see that he wasn't Japanese. Not completely.

The man had a western look to him. Mixed ancestry, maybe American-Japanese with the way he spoke, a certain accent at the edge. He had the blue eyes of a foreigner from the west, and the jet black 'sleek' hair of the East. A scar, a thin line, running across his cheek.

"Shinji" Shinji corrected.

"Right. That was the name. Then... Asuka.. and the 'witch' Rai" the man continued.

"Rei" the pale skinned girl corrected with a tilt of her head.

The witch... the witch... he... this guard was at Tokyo-03 with us Shinji thought barely believing it. That was the only explanation. He must have been one of the survivors that had helped them set up their community before the Fall.

"You're JSSDF" Shinji said slowly. Breath catching in his throat.

"A soldier" Asuka added staring at the man in awe.

Shinji was unsure of what to make of that. Their various encounters with the military had been mixed. From the Boss, to the Fall, to the scavenger attack at Tokyo-02.

"And you three are Eva pilots. Boss told me about you. He didn't like you much, but how did he put it? 'We need ever able body we can get', doesn't matter now does it?" the man with a shrug.

Makio looked between them and the former soldier, before glancing up at the guards post above uneasily.

The former JSSDF calmed them, raising a hand in peace.

"Name's Clayton. But call me Kay. Everyone does." the ex soldier and mixed Japanese said reaching a hand out.

Shinji hesitantly reached over and shook Kay's hand. The others doing the same whilst the Kay learned all their names.

"Come on. I'll take you to Haven's mayor" Kay said turning to bang on the gates.

"Hey! You don't get to decide that!" one of the guards above shouted.

"We got a doctor willing to work for Haven, can't pass that up. And I owe those three, they helped me way back when in the city" Kay shouted back impatiently.

With a bewildered look between the two guards, they sighed before opening the gates. Prying open the thick welded metal and wood, carefully stretching the barbed wire between the gaps. Telling them all to be careful as the gates parted.

---

Part 4:
Haven

Haven was like nothing they'd seen in the Post Impact World.

The old village it had been was hit by the Third Impact, but indirectly so. The mountainous terrain and high steep grounds that surrounded these 'flat lands' protected Haven from the worst of it.

A river or stream flowing in the distance, and a few old fashioned water wells, relic from before the Impact, and a granary visible.

Old housing and simple buildings were littered about once you reached the actual village via the road. Some rubble that had broken down and collapsed in on itself, lost of population meant less manpower to maintenance their homes. But new shacks were starting to emerge, as well as people.

Farmers and other rural villagers and town-folk. A few children here and there, actual children maybe ten or so, clearing a the yards of snow beside their parents.

Kids... real kids... I- so few of them came back. Almost five years and I think this is the first time I've seen a kid Shinji thought in awe. Rei and Asuka watching in awe too.

Makio holding his wife's hand with their son looking at the other children.

"Keep up" Kay called as he escorted them into town. Rifle still slung over his back.

"How did you escape Tokyo-03? And you got here before we did? It took us over a year" Asuka asked as they walked, watching the former soldier with suspicious eyes.

"Same way you did. Stole a car. Boss died and everything fell apart, no point in staying. Haven kept my car, use it when they need to." Kay answered with a shrug, not bothering to glance back at them.

So that's how he 'got in'... he gave them his car and agreed to work for his keep Shinji thought.

"Our car broke down. Not long after we escaped... got as far as we could and then just- just moved on" Shinji said shaking his head at the memory.

"Really? Pity, mine broke down too. Took me a few days but I got it working again" Kay said, this time glancing back to gave them a pitying look.

"We were teenagers at the time. Didn't even know what was wrong with it" Shinji said, too tired to be jealous or angry that Kay had kept his car working.

"Hmm" Kay said in agreement. He had nothing more to add.

"We did the best we could" Rei said leaning on Shinji's shoulder momentarily. She knew that Shinji would blame himself for somehow not magically knowing how to fix the stupid car.

"Thanks Rei" Shinji whispered glancing back at her as they walked side by side.

Heads were turning as they passed. Villagers taking notice of Kay bringing these 'outsiders' into their home after everything that had happened. Maybe 100 or so in total, such a small population that managed to survive out here in rural Japan even Post Impact. Tending to their farmlands as best they could in the good weather, and holding out in the cold when the snow fell. Everyone pulling together and helping out. Adapting to life after Third Impact.

Rei tagged on his arm, her expression warm and surprised at the sight of it all. Nothing like the community from Tokyo-03.

"Before you lot get smart about the farms, we survive okay in the winter. We hunt too, people know what they're doing here" Kay called glancing back them.

---

Meeting the mayor of Haven was a unique experience.

She was an old woman in her sixties. An old farmer's wife who'd lost her husband years and years ago, before becoming the 'leader' of Haven after the End of the World. She was 'tough' there was no other word for it.

Old enough to have lived through the hell of the Second Impact, the wrath of Adam the First Angel, and now the Third Impact. Having had to pull through in her youth after Second Impact threw her home into chaos with almost no support from the government or military.

She was a short old lady that liked to get right to the matter of things. Bossing Kay around like a sergeant and calling the shots despite her frame, getting the group to meet inside dinning room of her tiny house of all things. Kay standing guard but mostly ignored.

"So, you came looking to trade or for a home. Which is it?" the mayor said.

"uh... excuse me?" Makio said glancing at his wife in confusion.

"Which?" the mayor said again. Looking them over with world weary eyes, calm but with a steely fire underneath. A survivor through and through.

"A home" Rei answered before anyone could continue.

The mayor looked to her saying "yes, you're not the first and you will not be the last. People coming back before it just stopped. Everyone lost in the wastes and trying to find food and shelter. People stealing and looting, violence breaking out. Worse than my youth ever was."

The way she talks... she's seen all this before. Not an exact fit, but the chaos is right. The looting and the violence Shinji thought, seeing the flicker in her eyes. Old memories from the woman.

"My husband is a doctor. A physician" Kioko cut in, looking to Haven's mayor.

"Hmm. Yes, a doctor. We haven't had a town doctor since we came back. Little medicine but a doctor would help" the mayor said seeming to weight things and siding more with Kioko and her husband.

Before Makio could even answer, Kioko nodded saying "and I was a nurse. I can help him and-"

"That's enough, dear. You've made your point" the mayor said holding an aged hand up to stop Kioko, and offering a soft smile. It was good to know such a weathered face could smile at all, Shinji thought he liked the mayor. Rough edges and all.

"If we take you in, we expect you to pitch in. This isn't like one of those communities in the cities, everyone helps out and we are our own police. Everyone knows everyone. During the worst days of winter, there are caves we hold out in. If we decide to go, you will 'join us'. Then when it's safe, and winter has passed, we'll all work to repair any damaged in the village" the mayor said. Speaking softly but clearly, making it known that Haven had rules.

"We understand" Kioko said firmly, clutching her bored looking son close. Makio watching the exchange awkwardly, he'd barely said a word through the entire negotiation.

The power of women... it's like they run things Shinji thought watching the exchange.

Rei and Asuka sat anxiously beside him, wandering what the old woman would think of them. Haven seemed to be only 'real' settlement they'd seen to actually work in this world.

"And now to you three. Kay says that you were... pilots?" the mayor said turning to them with curious eyes, beady little things among the wrinkles of her face.

"Eva pilots" Asuka cut in.

"And you say you know them, Kay?" the old woman said glancing back at the soldier leaning against the wall.

"Um-Hum. Way back in Tokyo-03 before it went to hell. Most cities did, too many people in one spot. Not enough food or meds after a few years" Kay answered with a shrug. Rough voice standing in stark contrast to everyone in the room.

"Well, 'Mr Sheriff' what can you say on their behalf?" the mayor asked pointedly.

Kay sighed, glancing over the Eva pilots.

"They're good people... for the most part. When we all started to come back from whatever the hell Impact was, they helped us. Got us settled in as best they could. Well, before the Boss came and organized everyone." Kay answered.

We lasted over a year on our own. The First Ones to come back Shinji thought.

"Hmm. Young man, ladies, you are young. Not many youngsters came back. I'd say we need more people like you, but you realize that my offer to your friends there still applies to you. You'll have to work if want to say." the mayor said looking them. Glancing over Rei and Asuka more than she did Shinji.

"That's fine. We don't mind earning our keep. I mean... right?" Shinji answered before looking back at Asuka and Rei.

"We'll work" Asuka added with a shrug.

The mayor looked them over again, the dinning table growing awfully silent.

"You three look like you've been through a lot. And Kay vouches for you, I think that is enough for me. You are welcome to stay in Haven." the mayor said.

Shinji breathed a sigh of relief.

And with that, they found a new home. A rural village between the mountains and the wilderness, a seemingly 'safe' spot in the broken world.

---

Living in Haven wasn't easy at first.

There was a lot of work to do. Helping out as the villagers grew to learn their names and whom they were, Makio and his family taking their position as village doctor and nurse.

Shinji, Asuka, and Rei starting to build a small shack for themselves. Surprisingly, the other villagers helped out. The mayor herself giving them a bag of rice after the first week claiming that they looked like they needed it. Kay lending a hand and teaching them the basics of how to build a shack, coming in to check up on them every other day or so.

In this, Shinji saw the best in humanity.

Months passed and the winter grew harsh, driving most of Haven into the caves for the duration. Kay and a small band of hunters going out to inspect the village every now and then, or else hunt for extra food.

Shinji, Rei, and Asuka sharing a corner of the cave. Living off the water springs inside just like the villagers did. Surviving out in the wilds. All with the guidance of the mayor, the tough old woman whom had lived through two global catastrophes. Second and Third Impact.

When winter came and went, Shinji and the girls returned to the village with everyone else. Helping to drive the snow out and repair what damages the ice had done. Working on their little shack with help from Kay and their fellow villagers.

Shinji spending his nights with Rei, Asuka giving them their space. After their long travels in the harsh world... Shinji found himself at ease and calm with Rei, and her him. Finding comfort in each other, his visions fading away into distant memories. Learning each others' bodies in those warm nights, Rei breathing softly as she slept curled up against him. Her hand in his. Their bare chest touching as they slept at times.

Forging a life in Haven.

Asuka somehow growing distant in ways Shinji didn't understand.

---

One night, Asuka pulled them aside. Saying that they needed to talk, taking them out back so they could sit and chat. The three of them speaking in the fields of Haven.

"What are we?"

The question surprised Shinji. He blinked in confusion, stretching and feeling the familiar ache in the arm that had been shot, whilst Rei only tilted her head.

Asuka sighed looking pointedly at the two of them. She crossed her arms, now dressed in the farmer's garb that was common in Haven.

"I have eyes you know. I see when the two of you wander off for some 'loving'. I'm not blind." Asuka said at last, seemingly annoyed that she had explain things.

Shinji cringed awkwardly. He was tired from working, and he'd never really thought about it but he and Rei did want their 'alone' time every now and then. It was nothing against Asuka, all that traveling they'd done and they'd stayed together, having been through too much to separate.

"You did not have a problem before" Rei said not seeming to be embarrassed at all. Then again Rei didn't seemed to be embarrassed by anything, that's just who she was. Responding quite frankly whenever Asuka teased them about their relationship.

"Because we were traveling alright. It... it was different. Here... here I feel like an outsider with you two." Asuka said shifting uncomfortably.

Shinji thought that was ludicrous. All the crap the three of them had survived since they were 14 year old kids thrust into piloting, all the time they'd spent together... how could Asuka think she was an outsider?

"You're not." Shinji said quickly.

"Shinji. Asuka feels uncomfortable being with us given our relationship." Rei said turning to him with a bemused expression.

"I know Rei, it's just... just-"

"Don't talk about me like I'm not here" Asuka snapped getting their attention.

Shinji and Rei turned back to her and Asuka signed again, raising a hand in apology. She hadn't meant to snap at them.

"Do you want me to leave?" Asuka said avoiding their gaze.

"Leave?" Shinji and Rei said together. Both of them frowning.

"I understand. You two lovebirds need your space and I can find a different shack to work on. Probably one nearby too and-" Asuka began.

Shinji strode forward grabbing Asuka by the shoulders.

"Asuka you don't have to leave. What's wrong with you? No one is kicking you out" Shinji said speaking firmly and calmly.

The German girl stared at him for a moment.

"This is our home now. You're always welcome to join us and-" Shinji began.

Asuka smacked him on the head. Harder than he thought she'd have meant to.

"Gah" Shinji flinched stumbling back and holding his head, Asuka suddenly glaring comically at him.

Before Asuka could act again, Rei stepped between them grabbing Asuka by the wrist.

"Do not hit my boyfriend." Rei said, somehow managing to make that sound sweet before she turned back to check on Shinji. The pale skinned girl actually made Asuka flush with embarrassment.

Asuka hadn't meant to do that. It had just sorta happened.

I'm fine Rei. I am Shinji thought even as Rei checked up on him.

"What was that for?!" Shinji asked as Rei stood beside him shaking her head at whole situation, there were times where she was the more mature of the three.

"I am not your second girlfriend. That is not going to happen. I like you alright. I think you're family after all the shit that's happened but never like that. Never like-" Asuka started.

Rei put a hand on Asuka's mouth stopping the German girl in her tracks.

Let Shinji speak Rei seemed to say as she smiled politely at the seething German girl

"What are you talking about? I'm with Rei!" Shinji said rubbing his head where Asuka had hit him.

Did Asuka think I was offering... no... that's just wrong... no. When I younger I was attracted to her... but that was years and years ago. After what I did in that hospital that door was closed. No coming back from that. Did she really think I'd want... I haven't thought about her like that since I was 14. I'm a different person now. Shinji thought torn about between laughing or else ranting again.

"I don't know!" Asuka shouted back feeling more embarrassed than anything else. She was being stupid, every guy thought perverted things like that, two girls, but she'd forgotten that Shinji was not like most guys. Hell he was hardly manly at all.

I know what your thinking. What's wrong with that. I am who I am, sigh... Asuka Shinji thought seeing the train of thought in her awkward eyes.

A nearby villager was watching them from her shack with a heavy frown. Having no idea what was going on with the three.

"What are you looking at?!" Asuka called out her face still flushed.

The villagers sheepishly went on her way, giving the three of them their privacy as she headed back indoors.

Shinji shook his head at the whole things.

"We would miss you if you left" Rei said finally. The voice of reason and the only one not embarrassed.

The pale skinned woman offered a soft smile, grabbing Asuka's hand in a sign of family affection, something that completely surprised the German girl.

"I have enjoyed your company. I'm sorry if Shinji and I make you uncomfortable. But I didn't mind you living with us. Shinji and I need our space but we've lived together so long now that... hmm.. I will miss you if you leave" Rei said before letting Asuka go.

And leaving the German girl in shock. Rei really had changed over the years, maybe it was the bond with Shinji or the loss of Gendo controlling her life, or the lack of orders, maybe all three but she'd grown so much.

Shinji put a hand on Rei's shoulder breathing softly at the whole thing.

"You don't have to leave Asuka. Only if you want to. You're... you're like a sister I never had" Shinji said thinking that over. His relationship with Asuka wasn't always easy over the years, highs and lows, but somewhere along the line he liked to think they'd become family.

All three of them. Different forms of love bonding them together.

Asuka stood silent at that, watching as the couple stood before her letting her choose.

"... Your sister huh? Well... your much much cooler and smarter sister" Asuka added with the ghost of her old smirk, the one from before all this mess. It was good to see that again.

Rei is smarter than both of us Shinji thought but said nothing as he shook his head and nodded. Rei stifling a quiet laugh under her breath thinking the same.

"Alright. Enough 'family' talk. Anymore and I'm gonna throw up, we have a shack to build and a village to resettle" Asuka said matter-of-factly.

Haven had been good to them, breathing a kind of life back into their souls after the world had worn them down.

Shinji took Rei's hand as they followed Asuka back indoors.

---

Asuka stayed with them.

Almost like a sister that happened to live with them, or from Asuka's view her brother and sister in-laws whom lived with her. It depended on whom asked. But they made it work. It was never uncommon for families to share households in the east.

Their lives were at times hard, manual labor during the day and resting at night just like everyone else. Farming rice and what they could, the town hunters going into the forest for hours and coming back with meat, the settlement of Haven surviving on its own. Self-sustaining.

...

Years would pass.

That little shack the three of them worked on became a true home alongside the others spread out through Haven.

Shinji settling into his role as farmer and hunter over time. It was a life he'd have never imaged for himself, but he made it work. He had Rei and Asuka. An extended family and he thought that maybe, just maybe, he was growing to be happy. So strange that something as small and simple as life out there with his loved ones was all he needed.

He found himself and others aging with the time too. His shoulder broaden again as he grew into true manhood, better fed, and his hair growing longer with the traces of a beard emerging. Shinji's face growing leaner as he reached his mid twenties.

Once he was older, Kay started dragging him into more of the town operations. Bringing Shinji along during the trading missions outside Haven.

Amazingly other settlements emerged among the wastelands in the patches of life spread out here and there. Cities had been utter failures in the broken world, but villages and towns had started to become the norm for survivors.

There was violence amid the roads if one wasn't careful. So escorts were assigned and Kay took point on trading missions outside of Haven. Shinji found he didn't mind, he was only ever gone for a few days and Rei always met him by the porch outside their shack with a warm smile.

Asuka only shaking her head at the sight of the two of them fawning over each other, yet inwardly admitting that she was happy for them.

Then one day things changed and it all started in the morning when he woke to an empty bed.

He rose wandering where Rei had gone, and was surprised to see her leaving the outhouse out back with a heavy frown.

"What's wrong?" he asked as she approached him in her night clothes.

Rei hugged him tight and Shinji hugged back not understanding. Pulling her close as he thought she might have been crying.

Makio, by now the official doctor of Haven, looked her over as Kioko assisted. And when they made the discovery they were told together.

Rei was pregnant.

---

They were scared at first. Shinji not knowing what to do, they had always been careful when making love. Rei seemed conflicted, having never imagined herself as a mother. From what Rei had told him, she didn't think she could bare children after everything Nerv had done.

But life finds a way.

So he'd held Rei as she cried into his arms. Mixed emotions running through her, from fear to joy, sorrow and love, the burdens of parenthood.

"You'll be a great mother Rei. I know it. It's just like you said, we're free now. This is our life" Shinji told her. Comforting her as she cried, joy and sorrow mixing.

…

Shinji decided he would marry Rei sometime after the first month.

He hadn't known why it had taken him so long, but he did. Shinji taking the time to talk to Kay about an idea he had and the former solder raising an eyebrow but ultimately agreeing.

It took time, but eventually somewhere along the trade routes Kay found it. The rings. Not gold or diamond, nothing fancy, but a pair of wedding rings all the same.

He would end up bartering quite a bit for it, but he got it with a little help from Kay.

That night, when he returned home from the trading mission and found Rei waiting for him on the porch, growing belly and all, he'd proposed.

For a second or two that felt like an eternity to him, Rei had simply stared open mouthed at the cheap metal wedding ring. Then slowly, she'd smiled and said yes. Asuka eavesdropping on the whole thing, having helped Shinji get the barter he needed for the rings.

…

The wedding ceremony was small.

The three of them gathered together, given the day off by the mayor, a few attending such Makio, Kioko and their son. Kay stayed for a bit, but he was busy as town sheriff.

Shinji wished he could have given Rei more. Wished he could have give her that white dress that girls seemed to have on their wedding days. But there were none, instead the mayor had lent Rei the closest thing she'd had. But Rei didn't care, she only cared that he was there with her.

Asuka giving them their wedding rings as they each placed one upon the other in the Christian-style weddings of the west.

"I do" Shinji said smiling

"I do" Rei answered in kind, her belly having grown and grown. Their child growing with each passing day, the next step in the life they'd carved out for themselves.

…

The day after their wedding, Shinji went back to work. There was nothing to be said for it. Shinji spent his day in the fields farming before coming home after a long afternoon.

Rei was waiting for him like she always did with that same warm smile. He cooked for all of them, never wanting Rei to do too much on her own in her state. Rei taking it easy as even Kay and the mayor let her rest.

"You are my wife" Rei told him one day.

Shinji blinked in surprise, standing in the kitchen and making the three of them dinner in the house they'd made here in Haven.

"What?" he said thinking he must have misheard. Asuka looked up from their little dinning table, bemused at the whole thing.

Rei smirked at him playfully, gesturing at his apron.

"You cook for me and clean the house. You wear apron and you worry over every little thing. You are my wife" Rei said again, eyes beaming as he frowned. Teasing him in a way he never would have suspected, it was funny actually. Rei's own unique sense of humor.

It took a moment for Shinji to realize the joke and he felt his face flush as Asuka suddenly burst into laughter.

"Husband" Shinji corrected awkwardly.

"Wife" Rei corrected again, shaking her heads with a small smirk.

Asuka was laughing even harder.

They are never going to let this go Shinji thought shaking his head.

"It's okay" Rei said suddenly walking over to him and hugging him from behind, resting her head on his shoulder and breathing softly. Running her hands gently down his chest affectionately.

He felt her swollen belly pressing against his back, and imagined their child listening in on mom's little joke on dad.

"I work out in the fields farming... and Kay takes me hunting with him now-" Shinji began.

"Doesn't count. I do those things too" Asuka cut in with a smirk. The joke was too good not to join in on. And besides, Rei would have done those things too but she was with child.

Shinji sighed and shook his head, squeezing Rei's hand gently before turning back to the meal he was preparing. Not minding his wife's presence behind him at all.

"You are a very good wife" Rei teased him, pressing a soft kiss to the back of his neck.

"ha ha very funny" Shinji answered. Ignoring Asuka's snickering in the background, and simply enjoying the hums of his wife as they stood together.

---

Months later
12 years after Third Impact

Fatherhood

The day his daughter was born... was the day Shinji said goodbye.

Rei... I never liked it when she screamed Shinji thought.

He was standing beside her, holding her hand tight as she nearly crushed his. They were in Haven's clinic, Makio and Kioko coaching Rei through the birth.

Rei screamed and screamed, pushing her child into the world in a process that took hours. Shinji never leaving her side. Asuka watching on but giving them space.

Hold on Rei. Hold on Shinji thought watching as his wife was in labor. He could see her strain from the pain, the sweat the came pouring off her forehead. His hand never leaving hers.

He felt it down to his bones, the excitement, sorrow, and joy that came as their child was being born. So many conflicting emotions running through him and his wife.

But something was wrong.

Rei clutching his hand even tighter than before, Makio calling for more meds saying that there was heavy bleeding. The birth was messy and ugly, dark and terrifying, delivery in a world without modern medical infrastructure. His wife screaming before being reduced to low shallow breathes, where the only thing he could do was be there for her.

Shinji would never forget the moment the baby's cries erupted into the room. Tiny little lungs giving everything they had as Kioko wrapped the fragile little thing in a towel.

"It's a girl. You have a daughter" Kioko told the couple, smiling as she handed the babe to her parents. Makio carefully cutting the umbilical cord, and frowning heavily at something only he could see.

So few children seemed to be born after the Impact, it was miracle as Shinji and Rei held their daughter he could feel something in him change. A new beat to his heart, such love.

"She's beautiful" Rei whispered, panting from the ordeal and her face sweating. Arms stiff and weak, but holding her daughter with her husband.

Their daughter was such a little thing, like a tiny bundle of pale flesh, beady red eyes, and hints of her father's black hair emerging from her scalp.

"I love you. Oh Rei, I love you so much" Shinji said resting his head against hers as they held their daughter.

"I love you too... Shinji I lov..." she whimpered, smiling gently at her daughter before her eyes closed.

Asuka hurried over calling at Kioko. Shinji didn't ever hear Asuka calling out for help, didn't hear Makio calling out to Rei before checking her vitals as best he could.

Everything seemed to void in that moment, like someone had turned off the volume and time slowed to a fraction of what it was. He felt Rei's grasp fall, her fingers sliding down and onto the bed, watched in disbelief, numb, and horror as the light left her eyes.

"Rei? Rei?! Rei!" he screamed feeling his heart breaking, felt the shattering in his chest, clutching his crying daughter as tears started to fall from his eyes.

One life given for the birth of another.

---

Rei was buried in a plot in Haven set aside long ago by the original settlers. Shinji dressed in black, eyes lost and unfocused, face devoid of emotion as he stood over her grave. Fingers tracing the wedding ring on his hand.

The grave was crude, yet beautiful in its own way, engravings marked her name and years through life. With the caption: Rei Ikari. Beloved wife. Pilot. Farmer. Mother.

26 year old Shinji Ikari stood there over his wife's grave... numb to the world day after day. Sometimes spending hours there before heading back.

The villagers gave him his space, or else gave him sad comforting looks, a pat on the back, and Kioko as well as some of the other village women helped out where they could. Donating milk and finding baby clothes and bottles for him and his daughter, extra blankets, and even a little old wooden crib.

Not even two weeks since her death and Shinji could still hear and see Rei whenever he walked the fields at Haven, sat in the kitchen, or woke to an empty bed and a crib nearby with his daughter's cries. He could close his eyes and see that same warm smile Rei had reserved only for him...

It made his heart ache in longing for what it could never have.

"Shinji"

The voice surprised him and he turned to see Asuka dressed in her field clothes walking through the grass towards him, his daughter in her arms.

Asuka was watching him with uncertain worried eyes. Glancing at the grave of her friend and the girl she'd grown to think of as perhaps a sister.

Shinji took his daughter from Asuka, and held her in his arms. Watching the curious red eyes that met his face, the tiny little hands that touched his cheeks.

"Akane" Shinji whispered softly to her.

Akane Ikari, the daughter of Shinji and Rei. Named for the color of her eyes.

He smiled sadly at his daughter. Fighting back the tears, she reminded him so much of Rei.

"Hey girl, you doing alright?" Shinji said, his voice cracking with raw emotion, and holding her close. Rocking her gently the way his own father never had for him.

Throughout this sorrow and pain, of life without Rei, of raising a motherless child, Shinji had sworn to himself that he would be the father that Akane deserved. The father that Gendo had never been for him. He would love and cherish her, that greatest gift a man can have.

You see, you never learn what love is until the day you become a parent. Everything changes after that. You are reborn the day your child is. Your life is no longer only about you.

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry Shinji" Asuka said watching him hold his daughter and wipe the tears from his eyes.

He pressed a soft kiss to his daughter's head, the baby girl not understanding but laughing in childish wonderment as he did so.

Asuka put a hand on his shoulder, careful not bother the baby girl in his arms, and held him gently.

"It's not your fault" Asuka told him. Rei's words echoing in his mind as Asuka spoke.

"You're not a god, Shinji. Somethings are out of our control. It's not your fault. Rei was happy, she was happy with you. You know how amazing that was? To see her smile at you, to see her holding your hand and laughing. Rei was the happiest she'd ever been when she was with you." Asuka continued hugging the both of them gently.

Shinji nodded, the tears starting to fade as he did so. Though he didn't think he'd ever fully heal from the loss of his wife, he had a daughter to take care of. To love and raise.

"You're not alone, alight. I'm here. Makio, Kioko, Kay, and the mayor are here. People will look out for her too. Like that stupid saying, takes a village right?" Asuka said managing to bring another small laugh out of Shinji.

A short breathe of levity amid the bitter reality.

"Auntie Asuka" Shinji said in barely a murmur, grateful for all Asuka had done since the birth of his daughter. For being there for her when he couldn't, when the memories of his wife were too much to bare and he needed air.

Asuka nodded looking down at little Akane Ikari, running a hand across the baby girl's soft skin.

"Hey Akane. I'm not your mom, but I love you anyway." the German girl said softly, smirking down somberly at the little girl that reminded her so much of Rei.

The two stood there for a moment in that small plot of land in Haven, holding Akane under the morning sun. Shinji holding his daughter, humming to her like her mother had once done.

"Thank you Asuka" Shinji said glancing up at her. Both of them walking off and heading for their home. It may not have always been easy... but life moved on.

Asuka patted him on the back, walking beside him as they headed back. Other villagers nodding his way as they past, respectful, good people willing to help. Haven, the kind of settlement that lives on after the end of the world.

Akane Ikari stretching in her father's arms and giggling to herself as she played with his beard, blissfully unaware of all the tragedy and heartache that had led them here.

---

Well there you have it. Shinji's daughter, Akane Ikari.

SUPER LONG, but I didn't want to split it. We're almost done with Other's story. But I wanted to really show aspects about his life. The world he made when he rejected Instrumentality, the long term effects of that. His highs and lows, this was a mixed bag. A bit of both for him.

Did you expect what happened to Rei? Did you catch the early signs of a certain something about the Younger Shinji?

Thanks for Reading and please Review!