Hey guys, another chapter relatively quick.
Thanks to all the new readers and reviewers! I appreciate it.
Had some pacing issues this time, so a bigger chapter was divided into two.
This chapter, and the next, will be very character focused. There is plot, but not as much.
Here's Chapter 30 " 'Back' ". The chapter title literally has the ' ' quotation marks this time.
"I do not forgive you. I want you to know that."
"I understand."
"That doesn't make it right."
"No, it doesn't. I don't pretend to be innocent or perfect. I had my reasons, and you know that now"
"Humph. Why did you show me that nightmare?"
"Because you needed to see. You needed to understand. If I had told you, you would not have believed me. You stopped listening to my words a long time ago, if you ever even did, boy."
"It hurts. So much... pain... it never stops. It lingers like ashes in my mouth. How do you live with this?!"
"I don't. But you're different. With time, it'll fade. They're not your memories, they're mine."
"... I think I hate you."
"That's fine. Hate me then. Hate me for as long as you want. I-"
"Stop that. Just stop it. Let me hate you. You ruined my life. So let me be angry. I hate you."
- Shinji Ikari to The Broken Man.
Two months after Shinji Ikari was absorbed into the Eva
12 hours since the boy was released from the Entry Plug
Misato threw her hands up in frustration.
"He's not a danger! He's a goddamned kid!" she was shouting.
"There is no way of knowing that. That boy came out different! Changing eye color?! What the hell does that?! Two months ago his Eva 'woke', and killed the strongest Angel ever recorded! The boy is a walking hazard!" the general said harshly, JSSDF uniform standing in stark contrast to Nerv's.
"We remind you that as Eva pilots fall under Nerv's jurisdiction, you cannot officially order the boy to do anything. As such, you cannot order him executed, locked up, quarantined, or any other-" Fuyutsuki was saying, speaking calm and carefully. A slight edge to the man's voice.
Misato scowled. Meeting with the little 'council' of theirs was pointless. All they ever did was talk in circles. Going back and forth over the matter of Shinji. It made her sick, the General seemed to have forgotten that 'the subject' was in fact a 14 year old boy. A human being and not a weapon to be locked up and studied.
Gendo Ikari was absolutely no help at all, Misato found. The man standing silently amid the frantic voices, eyes hidden behind tinted glasses.
The arguing continued. Military vs Nerv with no side reaching a compromise.
"Nerv will examine the Third Child" Nerv's Commander said suddenly.
All voices quieted at Gendo's words. Misato looked up in shock, the first words the man had spoken throughout the entire meeting.
"The Third Child will be given a full examination. Physical, emotional, psychological, and held in protective care within our complex. Until such time as he is deemed fit for duty, or else confirmed as a hazard of any kind. A full report will be sent out. I trust that the military finds these terms... acceptable" Gendo Ikari said. His voice flat and stern.
So now you care about your son? Humph, as if, you just want your precious pilot back. 'Third Child', he has a name, you cold cold man Misato thought bitterly.
The General crossed his arms, military man shaking his head at the whole thing. The JSSDF had had enough dealings with Gendo Ikari to know that 'this' was as good as they were going to get, not without causing another incident.
"I will leave one of my men behind, he'll be waiting for that report. And he will give one of his own." the General said at last. Reluctantly agreeing, with a condition of his own.
"Agreed" Gendo said simply. He didn't raise his hand to shake.
Before any other complaints started up again, any last minute demands or request, Gendo simply turned and left the gathered officials to the room. Fuyutsuki sighed, and hurried after the man.
With those two gone, the whole meeting was pointless. No wonder the JSSDF hated Nerv and its commander.
Nerv
Shinji Ikari stood in the shower. Letting the water run down his face. Foreign red eyes open, but lost, as the LCL was washed off his skin. The strange liquid that covered his body, scrubbed off. His body going through the motions, more reflex than actual thought.
He stood there for quietly some time. Letting his dry tears wash away with everything else.
Two Nerv security men stood outside the locker-room, waiting for the boy to finish from the privacy of the bathroom and showers. When Shinji emerged, wordless, and distant, the two men escorted him to his new accommodations.
A room that was really a 'holding cell' for the freak whom spent two months absorbed inside the Evangelion.
The boy didn't sleep. He simply sat against the wall, staring at his hands, and seemingly lost to his surrounding. Of the world but not in it.
…
When Ritsuko did the examination, she found it hard to meet the boy's gaze. He never seemed to look at her, but rather through her.
"Alright, Shinji. Hold out your arm, I'm going to need a blood sample" she was saying.
Shinji Ikari had been given a set of clothes, blank fatigues, standard Nerv issue, in his size, the outfit made him look uncomfortably like a prisoner. Even Ritsuko thought that was a bit cold.
The boy held out his arm wordlessly.
"Have you noticed anything strange? Any pain? Sensations that weren't there before. Muscles or bone giving you any trouble?" Ritsuko asked, in a distant and professional tone.
"No" the boy answered, voice flat and empty.
Expect for the red eyes. Prolonged exposure to LCL perhaps? Maybe... but I doubt it. Ritsuko thought.
She examined the boy's eyes, shining a low powered flashlight in his face and watching his pupils for any abnormal activity. Nothing strange but the iris color.
"Do they hurt?" Ritsuko asked, curiosity pulling at her.
The boy blinked, deep red eyes disappearing under his eyelids, before reemerging again.
"No... they don't hurt" Shinji answered in softly. Same empty flat voice as before.
For the last two months, Ritsuko had personally overseen the rescue operation. Trying everything they could think of to release the Entry Plug, from hacking the computer systems, to prying it open with a crowbar. All of it for nothing.
Commander Ikari had had to step in numerous times to stop the military from taking the Eva Unit, taking 01 to some deserted island and nuking the massive titan. Paranoid bunch, the military.
Ritsuko sighed, she was tired. She had spent a lot of sleepless nights trying to save this kid. She liked Shinji, from what she knew of him, a very different person than his father. But another part of her couldn't help but be curious.
Deep inside the Eva... what could the boy have seen? What could he have experienced?
She ran a hand across his forehead. Lightly tracing the lines on his skin for any scarring... and found none. Nothing at all. A perfect recovery.
During the breach of Nerv, when Zeruel had broken into the Hangar, a piece of debris from the blast had struck Shinji across his head. The security footage showed the boy take a direct hit, a skull fracture at the least, with blood running down his face.
Now the wound was completely gone. No scars or marks of any kind.
Ritsuko shook her head in confusion. There were days things just stopped making sense. Injuries that healed far more than should be possible.
"Looks like you're healthy, Shinji. The red eyes are a mystery, but apart from taking a sample, there's nothing we can do about it." Ritsuko said.
"Ritsuko... please... don't put a needle in my eye" the boy said suddenly. A hint of fear visible in him at the mention of a sample. The slight tremble in his voice.
She glanced uncomfortably at the needle on her desk. The clinical room around them laden with various medical equipment she had been trained to use.
"No. I suspect Misato would kill me before I took a sample" Ritsuko sighed softly.
Shinji didn't take the bait, no chuckle or laugh, even as Ritsuko actually tired to make a joke for his sake.
She was tired, too tired to attempt such a procedure and found it hard to imagine herself carrying it out. Besides, Ritsuko was sure Misato would protest. She'd make note of the observations and check on the eyes later.
"We're done here. The men outside will escort you back to your room. I'm sure this will all be over soon" Ritsuko said, not sure if she believed the words herself.
She turned to go, but stopped suddenly. A hand grasping her by the wrist.
Ritsuko gasped softly, shocked as she turned to see the boy holding her back by her arm.
"Shinji-"
"How long have you been sleeping with my father?" the boy asked suddenly.
Ritsuko bulked at the question. Surprised at the shame and embarrassment that fell over her momentarily, before it was washed away by indignation. Whatever had happened to Shinji, maybe it hadn't been for the better.
"Let me go." Ritsuko hissed bitterly.
The boy did not. Foreign red eyes meeting hers for the first time since the examination, no longer looking through her, but right at her. As if she was only person in the world. An object of his complete attention, a vast contrast to how distant and hollow the 14 year old boy had been for hours now.
How did he find out? It's not exactly a romance, not lately, if it ever was. There's things you're too young to understand Shinji. How the loneliness eats at you. She thought.
Ritsuko told him as much, starting that he was young, that she was not trying to be his mother or anything, and how he had found out? That it was incredibly rude to talk about such things.
"He doesn't love you." Shinji said suddenly. The boy having listened to her speech silently, red eyes focused on her.
Ritsuko flinched. What had brought that on?
"My father doesn't love you, Ritsuko. He doesn't love me. He doesn't love anyone. Only a ghost, only the dead. I'm sorry... but we're just tools to him. The both of us. To be used and thrown away." the boy said, eyes distant and sorrowful.
No child should have eyes like that.
Shinji let go of her wrist, releasing his grip on her. I'm sorry the motion seemed to say. Before he turned to face the wall, dismissing her now that he had said what he needed to say.
Something very strange was happening to Ritsuko. The doctor felt herself blink back tears that she had hid for months, even from herself, something so cold and brutal, but honest, but so very true, washing over her.
Her carefully constructed lie falling apart at the seams. With the lie shattered, she felt like she was a little girl again, and she breathed in harshly at the boy's words.
Wordlessly, Shinji took her trembling hand.
"It's okay. You don't have to be that way. My father isn't worth it. You are so much more than him. More than his doll" Shinji said, speaking with a quiet yet forceful tone. Not harsh, but comforting in its own way. A shared pain.
Whom would have thought? Common ground between a grown woman and a 14 year old teenager.
"I... why did you-" Ritsuko stammered, the words never quite coming out.
"I need to get back to my holding cell" Shinji said in farewell. The boy leaving the room, and Ritsuko behind, their eyes meeting before he left.
Two Nerv men, dressed in black, escorted him away.
Ritsuko stood there, alone, glad that there was no one to see her like that. Brushing off whatever stupid tears had formed. Yet the cold stung her even now, the lie gone. Deep inside, she guessed she had always known the truth about Gendo Ikari. And that was what hurt the most.
His holding cell was nothing special.
Just an empty 'box' with a bed. Apparently, bathroom usage depended on how many times they let him out of the cell. All just 'precaution' according to Nerv.
Misato was waiting there when he arrived. The older woman turning to face him the moment he stepped inside.
His legal, and temporary, guardian rushing to his side and putting her hands on his shoulders. Kneeling slightly so that they were at eye level, she knew that Shinji always appreciated that.
"Shinji? Hey, you okay? Ritsuko said they were running test, did they hurt you? Have you eaten anything?" Misato was saying. The woman fussing over him.
The boy only shook his head weakly. Seeming to wobble as Misato tightened her grip on his shoulders, a result of her fussing.
"The test didn't hurt" Shinji answered softly.
"Don't play the tough guy act with me. If they-" Misato began, expression turning cross. How dare Nerv imprison the boy after all he'd been through.
"Misato. They didn't hurt me. Ritsuko knows you'd kill her if they did" Shinji said softly. Trying a lighthearted 'joke' but his guardian could see the humor just wasn't in him.
Like the boy was just going through the motions. The humor never caught reaching the boy's eyes. It hurt Misato to see him like that.
Nonetheless, Misato breathed a sigh of relief. Letting his shoulders go.
Red eyes... so strange. Almost like Rei's. Misato thought, looking Shinji over once again.
The boy took a seat on his new bed, strange that Nerv had step up this cell so quickly. Or perhaps the holding cell had always been here, hidden in the lower levels of the complex.
Misato joined him, sitting beside him like they were on a bench. Misato glancing worryingly at him. She knew that he was hurting. That he was different. And it was more than just the eyes.
Thankfully, she didn't ask. She could see that he didn't want her to, she'd had a lot of practice with Shinji, she knew when not to push.
"Listen. I'm going to send for some food. Maybe sneak in some candy or something. Are you hungry?" Misato said, reaching over awkwardly to pat him on the shoulder.
The boy did not respond. Just sat there staring blankly at the wall.
Damn... still don't know how to do this. Shinji... I'm not a real mom but I'm trying she thought.
"Thanks Misato. Hey, when can I get out of here. I wanna go home" Shinji said suddenly, the boy seeming to tremble slightly as he spoke. The vulnerable boy underneath all the isolation and distance he had seemingly put up these past few hours.
"I... I'm not sure, Shinji. I'm trying. I'm doing everything I can. Just- just hang in there, alright. I know this isn't fair, but I'm gonna get you out of here. Even if I have to bust some heads." Misato said trying to smile but the smirk just never came.
Nerv and the JSSDF are scared. Confused and paranoid. Bunch of idiots Misato thought.
He managed a halfhearted smile at that, looking up at her, seeming to come back into the world, and nodding at her.
"Okay" he said, almost hopeful.
…
Misato would have stayed longer, but Nerv wouldn't allow it. In the end, she was forced to leave him in the holding cell, with the promise that she would be coming back for him soon. That they'd go home, together.
…
Later
Young Shinji sat there alone, in the cell, unable to sleep. Foreign red eyes lost, he hadn't moved much since Misato had left. How much time had passed?
Shinji. I can't keep doing this for you. You have to talk to them. You have to show them that it's still 'you' in here the voice in his head stirred.
Shinji blinked.
The boy hadn't spoken for hours, not since leaving the Entry Plug. It had been him, the Other Shinji, doing all this for him. Taking control over the boy's body and dragging him to the shower, dragging the boy to the examination room with Ritsuko, holding 'his' arm out so the doctor could draw blood. The Other speaking to Misato and asking when they could leave, the Other speaking for the boy whom had lost his voice.
The Broken Man having to put on a performance for the adults.
Shinji's lips trembled as he glanced down at his hands.
"Go away" the boy whispered at long last. The first words he'd spoken since he'd left the Memories of another man. Since the boy had shut down.
"They don't trust you, boy. They're scared of what they don't understand. You need to show them that you're still valuable to them. To Nerv and SEELE. It's the only way we can leave."
Shinji blinked in surprise.
They weren't in the cell anymore. It had happened so seamlessly that Shinji had not even noticed it until it had happened. The whole world was gone, and they were inside his head.
The Other Place
Shinji's mind.
The boy sat before the old man.
The two figures having emerged onto the scattered remains of a plot of land. The ruins of a city visible in the distance. Water washing softly onto the shore, where the ruined concrete met the red sea.
Young Shinji narrowed his eyes and looked up at the Broken Man.
Gazed at Old Man Shinji. The man dressed in rags. Unkempt almost feral greying hair, and with mixed colored eyes. The old man missing two fingers on one hand, dark weathered and battered skin. The signs of a harsh life, and with haunted eyes that made him look over a hundred years old.
"You have to talk sooner or later, boy. I will not live your life for you" Old Man Shinji said.
"... let me go" Shinji whispered.
"I will. After." the Old Man said softly.
Shinji only crossed his arms, sitting crossed legged, and hugged himself tighter. Head held in his lap, lost to the world around him. Even here, even now.
The Broken Man strode over and knelt before the teenager.
"It hurts. I know better than anyone-" the elder of the two began.
SMACK
Young Shinji punched Old Man Shinji. Hard. Right across the face.
The boy bringing his fist forward with as much strength as he could muster. Then he rose, even as the old man stumbled back silently.
Old Man Shinji found his footing with ease, shrugging off the punch.
So Young Shinji hit him again. Right in the old man's stupid face.
SMACK
Then they were brawling... no... only Young Shinji was brawling, lashing out with harsh raw emotion. Tears falling down Young Shinji's face as he pinned his older self down.
Bashing his fists into the man's face.
"Ah!" the boy cried out. Harsh tears trailing down his cheek.
PUNCH
PUNCH
All the while, Old Man Shinji simply watched. The elderly man lying on his back without protest, not defending himself in anyway, allowing the boy to hurt him.
Yet Original Shinji never blinked. Not once. Not even when Young Shinji's fists found his eyes. Mixed eyes, sorrowful and old, staring up at the youngster blankly.
Bruises appeared on the Broken Man's skin, harsh purple marks where he was beaten. No whimpers or cries of pain from the old man. A statue that bled in silence. Pain was nothing new to a man already broken.
It was you! My entire life! It was you... you... killed... you ruined... all your fault! The boy thought through his punches and tears.
Until finally, Young Shinji collapsed. The boy gasping quietly in low breathes. Panting as he leaned against one of the walls in this place. Spent. Tired.
The Broken Man rose, moving like a corpse that had had life breathed back into it. Eyes red and bloodied. Face littered with ugly marks from where he'd been struck.
Wordlessly, Old Man Shinji knelt to the Young Shinji for a second time.
Young Shinji flinched as the old man took one of his hands.
"Sigh. Boy, you never learned how to punch properly. It's not like using the Eva. You hurt yourself more than me" was all Old Man Shinji said. The man's voice blank and flat. Stating a fact.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" Young Shinji cried out. Ripping his hand away from the Broken Man's grasp.
The boy's knuckles were dark with bruises too. He had hurt himself more than he had the elder, a fact.
Wordlessly, faded tears still dripping down his face, Young Shinji winced clutching his bloodied knuckles.
"You realize that this is in your mind? It's a bridge between the two of us. Your hand is fine in the real world." Old Man Shinji said. Injuries not bothering the man in the slightest.
Young Shinji rose with an anguished shouted. Fists raised again.
The Old Man rolled his aged tired eyes, and when Young Shinji tried to punch him again... the elder caught the younger.
The Broken Man caught Shinji's fist with the palm of his hand. Squeezing tightly, locking the boy's hand within his own, the elder moved. Yanking the boy forward and spinning him.
He got the boy into a headlock, and together, the two fell to the floor. The boy thrashing as he was held by the adult. Not painfully, but a restraint. A hold that would force the boy to listen for once, so they could talk.
There was no anger, no desire to hurt the boy, only a hold.
"I hate you!" Shinji shouted. Locked in place by the Broken Man.
"Yes. I am the reason you were placed in a mental ward. Why your head hurt for so many years, the visions, the seizures, and my voice. I did not want that, I tried to protect you. I told you to always 'look away' from the visions, until you were ready" The Broken Man said. Voice bittersweet, regret and apology.
"You... you... you killed my mom. You killed her three times! Screw you!" the boy screamed. Wailing as he struggled to break free of the old man's grasp. His breath harsh and stammered.
Yet the Broken Man did not release him. No matter how frustrated the elder was with the youngster, no matter how divided the two of them were, no matter their issues, the Broken Man did not wish any harm to the boy. So he held Shinji in place.
"Our mother. And yes, I killed her."
"Ah! Monster! I... she was my mom. She loved me. She was the only one who ever loved me. She-" Shinji whimpered. His voice coming out in small hiccups. Like all his breath was gushing out of his lungs all at once.
"No, boy. Our mother didn't love us." The words came out frankly. Another fact.
The words cut at Young Shinji. Like a punch to the gut, deep into his soul. A wound that stung even now. He stopped struggling and lay there. Faded tears in his lost eyes, hanging limply in the old man's grasp.
"Yui Ikari was a terrible person. She left you. She left me. And given the chance, she would do it again."
"... I... you... What the hell is wrong with you?! What kind of person says these things?!" the boy shouted. Hiccuping harshly at the words. Eyes dangerously on edge.
"Me. Because you needed the truth, boy. Our mother only used us. Just like our father. And it hurts, I know it does. I've had years to deal with it, you've had hours." The Broken Man said softly.
He rose, and gently released the boy. Letting Young Shinji pant as he stood in this place, this fragment of another timeline, the bridge between their two minds.
Shinji kept his eyes glued to his feet, breathing like he'd run a marathon. Like the wind had been knocked out of him.
All his life, for as long as he could remember, his mother had been a glimmer in the dark for him. So many years in the ward, so much time alone and isolated, so much time knowing that his father didn't give a damn about him.
But he had remembered his mother holding him as a baby. Had remembered Yui smiling down at him. Shinji had loved her. Had cherished what few memories of her that he had had. The only person he remembered having ever loved him.
The Broken Man knew what he was thinking.
"And it was a lie. A tool. I know it hurts. To realize just how 'alone' we really were, boy. To know that our parents were monsters. They didn't care about anyone but themselves and their dreams, their own happiness over everyone else. They were selfish." The Broken Man said softly.
He reached a hand over to the boy's shoulder. A distant comfort, but one nonetheless. The boy did not resist, he stood there, breathing softly, head hung low.
"It's true then. It's not a nightmare. This is real life. Everything I saw" the boy said.
The Broken Man nodded.
Shinji brushed the old man's hand off, three fingers where there should have been five, and sunk to the ground again. Head cradled in his hands.
The Broken Man joined him. Sitting beside the boy wordlessly.
Two Shinji Ikari(s) separated by the lives they lived, and over 40 years of experiences. Both aged before their times.
Young Shinji sat there, beside the Original, head held in his hands. Heart aching at the truth. So very alone even now.
The sorrows of an unloved child.
Mother... Father... parents aren't supposed to be this way. They should have loved me. Why? Why couldn't they just love me? Why wasn't I enough for them? Why... why couldn't they have just been there for me? Young Shinji thought, holding himself tight.
He was a child all over again. Alone in a cruel world. Rejected by Gendo and abandoned by Yui.
Just like before, when he had seen the visions of the Woman in the Dark, mistaking her for his mother, and when Asuka had found him in his room. Crying his eyes out, the ache that ran deep, the loneliness that only the unloved can feel. The abandonment.
Mom... oh mom. I was wrong about you. I don't want to believe it. But it's true... I saw it. I saw the memories. He thought.
The Broken Man sat beside him wordlessly. Letting the boy breathe, having gone through all of this himself years and years ago.
"You ruined my life... the ward..." the boy whispered slowly. His whole life coming into perspective now, an explanation at long last. No more wondering, he knew everything now.
"I didn't want it to be this way. I wanted you to have more," Original Shinji answered truthfully. The man's voice a low rough grumble.
I had less than you. Not more... the boy thought. Years of the ward, the white rooms and the doctors, the pills, the headaches and seizures, Dr. Page and her tests, Mari and everyone leaving him... all of it was the Original Shinji's fault.
You've lived 14 years of your life. I've lived many more. They were long, long, years. More than enough for a lifetime. I feel so very old... every day. So, no. You don't have less than I did. The voice echoed across the boy's head.
Shinji blinked in surprise, slowly, coming to terms with the thing inside his head.
"We can talk much easier now. But I'm still inside your head," was all the Broken Man said.
Shinji narrowed his red, watery, eyes at the Broken Man.
"I hate you" he whispered again.
"I know, boy. Judge me all you want, hate me but please... answer me this... what would you have done in my place?" The Broken Man said. The Old Man turning to face the boy directly.
Eyes locked with eyes. Shinji staring unblinkingly at Shinji.
"..."
"What. Would. You. Have. Done?" The Broken Man asked a second time. Saying the words slowly, as if they hurt the man to say, carefully spacing them out so Young Shinji heard them perfectly. No malice in the man's voice at all, no anger, but an honest question.
A world in ruin, a life wasted, the Post Impact World. All of humanity dead and gone, down to the last soul, only the Original Shinji Ikari left on the entire planet. A man who had lost everything he had ever cared about. Used and thrown away by both his parents. By SEELE and Nerv. All of it... the life of the Original Shinji. The sole survivor of an entire universe. An entire timeline.
What would the boy have done in the man's place?
"... I don't know" Shinji whispered at long last.
The two sat there. Shinji and Shinji. Close, yet somehow apart even now. A distance between them. But the boy had woken at long last. Had spoken for the first time in hours. Forced to face the truth and deal with it in his own way.
That was all the Broken Man could hope for. It was a start.
"Please... just leave me alone," Shinji said turning away. He didn't know what to feel anymore, too many memories and thoughts clouding his head. The life of another man fresh in his mind, the truth of his parents, it was all so much.
Old Man Shinji waved his hand, wordlessly, and both versions of Shinji Ikari vanished from this strange place, this bridge between the two minds.
….
Shinji flinched as he found himself sitting in his holding cell. He glanced down at his hands and saw that they were fine.
No marks along his knuckles at all.
Deeper into Nerv
"The military is paranoid as ever. JSSDF is afraid of Unit 01. They want to take the Evangelion far away and nuke it. I've stopped them for now" Gendo was saying.
The man stood with his expression hidden behind tinted glasses, gloved hands held behind his back, with the projected holograms surrounding him in the dark room. SEELE.
"But?" Keel asked, in an expectant and annoyed tone.
"They are worried about the boy. The Third Child." Gendo answered.
"Ah, the Freak. Came back with some changes, did he? Seems like you're losing control" another SEELE member called out harshly.
Gendo did not respond.
"Is the boy still an asset to us?" Keel asked instead. The Freak had always been a mystery to them. An unpredictable factor in their plans, at times SEELE was unclear as to whether or not the boy was worth all trouble they'd gone through to monitor him.
And other times, with such strange abilities and piloting record, the boy was definitely worth a watch. They had theories that made him curious.
The boy's mother wanted him to be an Eva pilot. Or so we think, a contingency if she had failed to pilot the Eva herself. Keel thought. Never quite realizing the truth.
"I believe so. His record speaks for itself. I am having him held here, under examination, until he is deemed a non-hazard." Gendo answered flatly. Voice empty and business like.
"We'll be sending our agent as well. To help the boy's diagnosis along." another SEELE member said suddenly.
Dr. Page. As always. That woman is a nuisance Gendo thought having to hide the flicker of annoyance.
Keel seemed to sense Gendo's irritation. The man was hard to read, and had been ever since his wife's death, but if one looked closely, you could see the traces of reaction in Gendo. Human after all.
"The boy's Eva spoke. I find that alarming. Yet he could still be an asset, one that the military cannot be allowed to get a hold of. The JSSDF has always been... troublesome. See to it that the military is dealt with, and put the Third Child back to work. Get things under control, Mr. Ikari." Keel said sternly. The last words coming out cold and harsh, the undertone of a threat from a superior.
And with the orders given, the meeting ended. The holograms fading as the video conference was shut down. The lights turning back on.
Nerv's Commander bowed his head slightly as SEELE left him. These so called 'powerful men' didn't matter, Gendo would suffer them for as long as it took. But there were days when they got on his nerves.
The next day
Misato's apartment.
"What do you mean the idiot is back?" Asuka asked.
"Don't call him that." Misato hissed, the woman getting annoyed at the girl's strange relationship with Shinji.
Asuka shrugged, waiting for an answer.
"The Entry Plug was released last night. It's been hectic ever since. I'm trying to get him home, but it might take awhile. Look... he's been though a lot. So just take it easy on him" Misato was saying.
Asuka crossed her arms. 'Take it easy on him', what did that even mean? Asuka wasn't hard on him, not when the idiot didn't deserve it.
The two of them sat at the breakfast table. Asuka having wondered why Misato had come in so late last night. The adult had woken up late, and had pulled her aside to 'talk' all of a sudden.
"He's different now. Not just... just do this for me, alright." Misato said almost pleading.
Everything is all about Shinji. The golden boy. Two months he's been gone, and we've had to pick up the slack... two months where everybody was crying and moaning- and... and.. Asuka thought.
The anger just wasn't there like it used to be. It just wasn't the same, she couldn't pretend to hate him anymore.
Freaking Shinji just to be so... so 'nice' all the time. He had saved Asuka's life more than once now. The boy had been put under house arrest for saving her the first time, for diving into that volcano to save her. Then later she'd hurt him badly, after she'd learned about his time in the mental ward, with their fight in the kitchen.
Then 'stupid Shinji' just had to go and save her life a second time. The boy throwing her Eva to safety after Unit 01 had been taken by that strange Angel whom had seemed to bend space around itself, living shadows dancing around its spherical body and pulling objects into the void. Shinji forced under by the Angel whilst Asuka and Rei were left to the safety of higher ground, the boy choosing to save them over himself.
Idiot. I never asked you to do that... you didn't have to be taken... I could have pulled you out... couldn't I have? I could have... or maybe we'd both have been dragged underneath. The German girl thought with a slight pause.
Asuka grumbled to herself, eating her cereal for the countless time this month. Misato didn't seem to notice.
Misato was more worried about Rei and Mari than Asuka.
…
Nerv
Higher levels, general areas
The eldest of the Eva pilots stood, arms crossed, face almost red from the annoyance and anger of how all these stupid adults were treating her.
"Let me through. Where are you holding him? Uh, bunch of tough guys scared of a 14 year old? What the hell is wrong with you?" Mari was saying.
The Nerv staff only shook their heads, the lower levels of the Geofront were off-limits, to the Eva pilots and more. Even Misato needed special clearance to go down to those levels.
"For safety. They're still testing the boy-" one of the men dressed in black said. Security for Nerv, and the man looked like he'd seen Mari's type before. Judging the girl before she'd ever spoken to them.
'Trouble maker' the man's expression said the moment he saw Mari.
"Shinji is not a hazard! He's a kid whose been gone for two months! You guys just don't get it, the kind of shit we pilots have to deal with. Angels and Evas... ahhh" Mari said, wanting to shout in frustration but holding it in.
She'd been arguing with the men for twenty minutes now.
That dummy is all alone down there... what are these asshats doing to him? What are they doing to my boyfriend?! Mari thought.
"No. If the boy is cleared, he will be released. No more visitors until such time. Commander Ikari's orders." the man said.
Mari shook her head. Eyes darting to the hall just behind the two men in black. The hall with the special key activated elevators to the lower levels. If she managed to run pass them... if she could reach the emergency stairs instead... there had to be some stairs nearby, there just had to be...
The other guard shifted. Expression grim and annoyed.
"Don't try it, girl." the man said.
"Humph. Dickheads" Mari said, forced to march off alone. Unable to do anything but go home, no sync test for the day, nothing that Nerv needed from her. Nothing to do but wait. Maybe try again tomorrow.
It sucked. Unable to see her boyfriend after all that had happened. Misato had told her that he wasn't allowed visitors, but it stung all the same.
Back with Shinji.
Holding cell
"And you're sure you're fine? Reports were that you were crying when you came out. That's nothing to be ashamed of. It would have been horrifying" Dr. Page was saying.
The American 'doctor' sat across from Shinji in his holding cell. Falsely sweet tone, professional demeanor, and speaking perfect Japanese.
"I was in shock. It was a lot to deal with... coming back from the Eva. I don't really remember it, sorry" the boy answered simply.
Page nodded, taking notes on her clipboard again. The doctor watching him with her complete attention. Nothing missed. Every twitch of the lips, every blink, and yet finding him hard to read.
Is that still 'you' in there? My patient... or something else? The thing inside his head. Page thought.
The boy did not gave her anything to work with. Foreign red eyes meeting her calmly, occasionally glancing at his feet like he always did. Shinji, often uneasy at her presence, taking little joy from their meetings as always, despite her efforts over the years.
"And you're sure you don't remember anything. Nothing from the two months inside... when you were away?" Page asked softly.
"No" Shinji lied. The boy shaking his head apologetically. As if he really was sorry that he couldn't help her.
The boy is either telling the truth, or he's gotten a lot better at lying. Impressive. Page thought with a small smile. She honestly did not know which was more likely. For now, it wasn't important.
"Well then, Shinji. I think you've handled all of this quite admirably. You are as sane as the last time we met. My report will say the same. I'm sure you'll be out of here shortly. The JSSDF will drop this 'hazard' business, your father will see that" Page said sweetly.
The 'doctor' rose, stretching out a hand in goodbye. Model and professional as always.
Shinji nodded slowly. The boy hesitated slightly, seeming to mull something over.
Page raised her eyebrow a fraction of an inch.
Ah, so there's something about his father that's bothering him Page thought, moments before she shook Shinji's hand. She never missed a thing when it came to her favorite patient.
"Shinji. I've been seeing you for years now. You know that you can tell anything, right? Anything at all. And it can stay between us. Doctor patient confidentiality" Page said softly, offering up a comforting smile.
The doctor kneeling down slightly, so the two of them were at eye level, she knew the boy found it easier to talk that way.
"My father... I don't know what's wrong with him..." Shinji said slowly. Eyes darting back and forth, not wanting to meet Page's gaze. Another tell, Page noted, of him struggling to get the words out.
"What do you mean?" Page asked, her voice falsely concerned and sympathetic.
"He tried to hit me" the boy whispered.
"... what?" Page asked in disbelief.
"It happened a while back. Before I- before Nerv was breached and the Eva- just... before. He took me out of school to visit my mom's grave... and he tried to slap me." Shinji said grumbling over the words.
Page raised an eyebrow at that, before letting it fall, something so unexpected that it caught her by surprise.
"He was angry at me... but all I asked was if he missed mom. Then he tried to hit me. I think... I think something's bothering him." Shinji said slowly.
Gendo, the man with almost no emotions, losing his cool? And of course it revolved around his dead wife. He's always been too secretive for our liking, distant and cold for years now. Unhinged? Possible... hmm SEELE will not like it. Lashing out at one of our assets. Getting into 'incidents' with the military for control of the Evas. We need him to have things under control Page thought grimly.
The doctor's face a mask of professional inquiry.
"Oh Shinji. I'm so sorry to hear that." Page told him.
"I shouldn't have mentioned it. It was a while back and... I don't know. Just something that's been bothering me" the boy said. Putting on another performance.
"No. I'm glad you told me. This can stay between us for now, and remember, you can always talk to me, Shinji. You have my work number" Page said. Reassuring the boy before shaking hands in one final goodbye.
Shinji watched her go, a strange woman, but very observant.
Medical test, cleared. Psychological test, cleared. Now... how to get the military off his back?
After another day in the holding cell
"Are you sure about this, Shinji? This is beyond anything we've ever tried" Fuyutsuki, Deputy Commander of Nerv, second only to Gendo, said.
The older man walking beside the 14 year old, and emerging out into the hangar side by side. Emerging onto the lit platform from the dark hallway.
"I can do it" was all the boy said. Voice distant and seemingly barely aware of Fuyutsuki's presence.
Shinji was dressed in his plugsuit again, a new one put together quickly by the staff, and kept his eyes downcast. Speaking only when necessary.
Three days in the holding cell have not been kind to him. No wonder Captain Katsuragi wants him out already. Forgive us, boy. You are only a pawn in a larger game Fuyutsuki thought darkly.
"This is where I leave you" the Deputy Commander said, seeing Shinji off before heading for a lift to the observation level.
Shinji was surprisingly calm about the whole thing, only fidgeting with the comm unit in his ear, wanting to make sure it worked before he walked on.
Nerv's hangar was cleared of all non-essential personnel. Strangely enough, Ritsuko had called in sick, their head scientist having gone home early two nights ago.
Dr. Akagi had only left messages saying she was using her sick days. No one knew exactly why... but Fuyutsuki let the poor woman have a few days off after all the work she'd done trying to rescue Shinji.
Instead, Ritsuko's assistant Maya Ibuki led the test in her superior's place.
"Releasing Entry Plug. Shinji... be careful" Maya called from the comm.
The boy did not respond. He strode forward, walking passed Eva Unit 01, and continued further along just as the Entry Plug for Unit 00 was opened.
The tube coming free with a hiss of compressed air, before the ladder fell at his feet, the doors opening as the Eva knelt.
…
On the Observation level, various staff and personnel watched curiously.
Rei watching with worried eyes, hands unusually erratic as her friend, the boy she hadn't seen in two months, entered her Evangelion Unit.
Gendo only stood stone faced and silent beside the JSSDF representative.
…
Inside Eva Unit 00, Shinji Ikari sat crossed legged. Eyes closed and breathing softly.
"Establishing sync ratio. Raising... raising" Maya was calling on an open channel on the comm.
Misato watched on with baited breath. Part of her wanted to scream at these researchers for trying this so suddenly. Cross piloting with the Evas was incredibly dangerous. Rei was a perfect example of that, but to date Shinji was the only pilot to have ever successfully done it. Having once synced with Unit 03 in the past.
Rei felt her lips tremble at the memory of the her failed attempt to cross pilot. The Eva going 'mad' and lashing out, banging its head against all in its path, and sending her to the hospital for days. More than a week before she had even met Shinji. Nerv claimed Rei could potentially pilot 00 and 01, but the reality was far more tricky.
"Sync ratio... 40%. 43%. 48%. 50%. 54%. 57%... holding at 61%. Operational sync achieved" Maya's voice called out slowly on the intercom. The researcher breathing easier now the first step had gone well.
...
From within Eva Unit 00, Shinji sat crossed legged, eyes closed, and hands raised slightly as if in prayer. His sync ratio with Unit 00 holding steady, it was different than 01, but operational. He had proved his point.
He opened his eyes and rose, pressing commands on the console.
The Entry Plug was released for a second time. And Shinji calmly walked out, avoiding anyone's gaze, distant, even as he crossed the hangar floor... heading for...
heading for... Eva Unit 02.
Asuka came walking through the crowd of people. Pushing aside a few disgruntled technicians, as she gasped at the sight of the test. The sight of Shinji heading for her Eva Unit.
The first time she'd seen him since returning. She still didn't know how to feel, what she would say to him, but this was different.
That's my Eva... he can't... he can't just stroll in and drive! He can't. Ah Shinji... you better not Asuka thought.
"Entry Plug released" Maya called for a second time. As Unit 02's plug came out with a hiss. Shinji stepped inside, before the plug was receded back into Unit 02.
Just as before, the people in the observation level watched in awe. Medical team on standby, Maya overseeing things, Misato pacing back and forth, as elsewhere Gendo and Rei stood watching silently.
Asuka only stared open mouthed as the intercom went off again.
"... sync ratio raising. 15%. 22% 25% 31%" Maya was saying.
Something caught in Asuka's throat, a lump in her chest, at the sight of her Eva responding to another pilot. Another kid that wasn't her. That wasn't right... Unit 02 was her's... she had had to earn the position of Eva pilot. She had to train for months to achieve an operational sync level.
"44%. 46%... 49%... Holding at 54%. Operational sync achieved." Maya said, her voice shaking slightly with excitement and awe at the sight of the readings.
…
"There you have it. A Universal Eva Pilot. With records showing operational sync with Units 01, 03, and now 00 and 02. One with a clean bill of health. Medically and psychologically cleared. I trust that is acceptable to the JSSDF" Gendo said.
Nerv's Commander turning to face the military's representative, left behind by the General to oversee their examination and conclusions regarding the Third Child.
Universal but limited. Barely crossing the 50% sync on the other Evas Gendo made mental note of.
JSSDF battalion commander, Lieutenant Colonel Hashi, known by his men as 'the Boss', crossed his arms and met Gendo's gaze.
"I see another strange anomaly regarding that boy. I don't like it." Hashi said, stern faced and mistrustful of all this Eva business.
Angels and Evas, what the Lieutenant Colonel wouldn't give to go back to the old days before all this madness. Kids piloting machines that could take on Nukes? Strange creatures attacking their cities, the military playing second fiddle to a mix of foreign and national agency(Nerv).
"He is an asset that is too valuable to throw away, or lock up. I intend to put him back on duty. He has been cleared by all examinations, deemed a non-hazard." Gendo said simply.
Hashi grunted. He hated dealing with Nerv, most of the military did.
"I can see your points. I will report it the general. But off the record, a suggestion, if nothing more... keep an eye on that boy." Hashi said darkly.
He shook Gendo's hand in farewell, more of a formality than anything else. And turned to leave, Gendo more than happy to have the JSSDF drop their paranoia. Allowing Gendo to get back to work at long last. SEELE off his back for now...
Shinji walked off the hangar. Having been released from Unit 02's entry plug, and wasting no time in leaving. Distantly he could hear the plug closing up behind him.
Sorry Asuka. It's not fair, but I needed to get the military to back off Shinji thought. But which one?
There were murmurs above, from the crew whom had watched from the safety of the higher levels.
Misato was up there, no doubt trying to find Gendo and arguing for his release as soon as possible.
Still, Shinji looked up, to where his father was... and looked passed the man... looking at the pale skinned girl watching him from above.
Rei. The girl whom had sat beside Eva Unit 01 for hours at a time, waiting for him to come back. Waiting for her friend... and she had missed his return in the end. It must have been hard for her, to see her only friend gone for so much time.
Rei blinked awkwardly at his gaze. Her hands had been tingling in concern as she watched the test, Shinji downcast and avoiding everyone's lingering gaze. But now, their eyes met.
Shinji raised a hand and waved. Red eyes shinning up at the lonely girl above him, downcast but not gone. Not empty.
Slowly, ever so slowly, Rei did the same. Raising her hand up to wave back at him, the first time she had ever done such a thing.
Less than the shadow of a smile appeared on the girl's lips. She was so glad to see him. Alive and unhurt.
"Rei" Gendo called suddenly.
The pale skinned girl turned wordlessly as the Commander beckoned her to follow. Rei frowned, turning to leave as ordered, yet glancing back to the hangar.
But Shinji had already gone. Escorted out by Fuyutsuki, heading for his holding cell for the last time.
…
The JSSDF agreed that the Third Child was too valuable not to use, and concurred with Nerv's assessment that he was not a hazard. It seemed the matter was dropped for now. Tension between Nerv and the military put on hold.
Commander Ikari ordered the boy's release.
…
"You're free to go" the guard told him.
Shinji barely looked up. Nodding as he was handed a fresh set of clothes that Misato had grabbed for him back at the apartment.
Changing in the locker room, he made his way out and found his temporary guardian waiting for him. Misato standing out in the hall as he emerged wearing his street clothes. Three days of being held at Nerv at had not been kind to him.
Young Shinji just wanted to leave.
"Ready to get out of here?" she asked, the older woman doing her best to keep things causal. Not wanting to push Shinji after all he'd been through. Avoiding the changes that seemed to cling to the boy after leaving the Entry Plug of Unit 01. Not to mention the dangerous cross piloting experiment, a success no doubt, but Misato was livid at how quickly they had set it up.
"Yes, please. I just wanna get the hell out of here" Shinji said only managing a weak smile.
We got you out, free. But you should see Rei before you go. She's been worried about you The Broken Man said.
The voice sounding off from inside Shinji's head. But there was no pain. No flicker of surprise or annoyance. It simply was.
Later... I'm tired Shinji thought.
… fine The Broken Man muttered reluctantly.
Misato put a hand on his shoulder.
He was happy to see her. He was, really, but so much had happened. So much that he was still processing. He wished he could have taken comfort in her, the woman whom had been like a mother to him... the woman whom had been a better mother to him than his own.
"Shinji... is something wrong?" Misato asked suddenly. His guardian catching the lowering of his eyes suddenly, the lost look that came from remembering his mother's screams as she'd died.
"No... I'm just tired." he said softly. Putting on a brave face for Misato.
"It's over now. Let's get you home" Misato said beaming up at him.
Young Shinji took her hand, and together they left the hall. Walking out of Nerv.
...
Outside Nerv
Misato tried to talk to him as they left. Just making conversation but he had too much on his mind to respond in kind.
She drove him out of Nerv, leaving the Geofront behind, and blinked as he watched the area shrink in the distance. Faded memories of the Other Timeline littering his thoughts, flashes of the ash laden lands, the red sea, of a world in ruin.
The images no longer hurt. He could process them completely, the problem was 'him'. He could see both worlds at will, but at the moment he desired neither.
Young Shinji turned away, avoiding the sight as he stared straight ahead. Turning the radio on and tuning the world out. Opening the window and breathing in the fresh air, and not the ash filled winds that had emerged in the Post Impact Lands.
Toyko-03 wasn't the same as he remembered. It had changed. There were still reconstruction teams moving about their business, repairing the damage that Zeruel had inflicted upon the city.
It wasn't your fault. Zeruel hid even from me. The Broken Man spoke somberly.
I know. Doesn't make it any easier. Young Shinji thought bitterly.
The boy watching the reconstruction sites, before the car passed them up completely.
...
"I can get us some take out if you want?" Misato was saying as she parked her car.
The pair of them arriving at the Nerv apartment complex.
"No... Misato... I- can I see my girlfriend?" Shinji said suddenly. Bringing himself back into the world, he needed to get better at multitasking. Closing the door of Misato's car as he exited.
Misato froze, stopping mid-step as she locked her car for the night. She turned to him with a frown.
"What?" his guardian asked with a careful tone.
"I want to visit Mari" Shinji answered simply.
"Shinji, it's late and-"
"I haven't seen my girlfriend in two months. I- please... I just want to see Mari." Shinji said pleadingly.
What are you doing? The Broken Man whispered.
Shinji took Misato's hand, red eyes looking up to met her normal ones, and asked for a second time.
"Please... I just want to see her again." Shinji said. Ignoring the sensation in his head, the painless yet present sense of the Broken Man crossing his arms from within the Other Place. The Elder watching the Younger disapprovingly.
Misato sighed. Teenagers... damn sad eyes of his. He never asks for anything. Not once, not ever. Damn... she thought.
"Gah! Shinji... okay. Just- just don't spend the night, alright. I worry about you" Misato said, shaking her head at the whole thing.
"I won't. I'll check in later, I promise" Shinji said, letting go of her hand. Breathing out in relief, and nodding reassuringly.
After fussing over him again, Misato let him go, reminded him to call her later and to be home by midnight. His guardian returning his fully charged phone to him in the process. The boy leaving his 'home' despite having not stepped inside all day.
Mari's apartment.
Knock
Knock
Young Shinji stood just outside the apartment door. Breathing softly as he heard footsteps approaching, did anyone even bother to tell Mari he'd come back? Or that he'd been released an hour ago? He wondered how she had been doing.
If she had missed him the way he had missed her.
Distantly, from within his mind, the Broken Man watched with crossed arms. The Old Man having not spoken a word since the boy's decision to see Mari.
The door opened and Shinji was met with a sight that brought a genuine smile to his face.
Mari Illustrious Makinami, dressed in a plain blank tank top, and a pair of western jeans. Her expression blank and about to protest as to 'whom' was knocking on her door, when she stilled.
Seeming to freeze as she took in the sight of him.
"Shinji!" she screamed stumbling out of the doorway to embrace him.
He stumbled back with her, managing a sad little laugh as his girlfriend's arms wrapped around him.
"Shit! You're back! God... I..." Mari stammered. The older girl unable to speak properly as the two rocked back and forth in the hallway outside her door.
Shinji rocked with her, holding her close, and running a hand through her hair.
"Yeah" he breathed out weakly. Closing his eyes as he held his girlfriend, his first friend in the whole world, the whom had been there for him when he was a child. When they were both children. Maybe the first person whom had ever loved him. Not the Broken Man in his head. Something that had been his.
Not the Other Mari from the Other Timeline. But this Mari. His girlfriend. His.
"I'm back. I- I've been away a long time. I could tell, I knew months had passed. And I missed you. Oh Mari, I missed you so much" Shinji said holding her close.
"I tried to see you! I did! But those asshats at Nerv wouldn't let me!" Mari was crying. The 17 year old clinging to the 14 year old.
Shinji chuckled quietly at that, sad eyes lighting up just a sliver at that.
He could actually hear Mari shedding tears as they embrace. His Mari, the toughest person, girl or otherwise, that he knew.
I'm so sorry. I'm sorry I worried you Shinji thought.
…
The Broken Man watched from elsewhere, with blank hollow eyes, as the young boy held his girlfriend.
Wordlessly, he tilted his head at them.
…
"You dummy! What the hell happened to you? Are you hurt?" Mari said, taking a step back to breathe.
She punched him on the arm and Shinji winced in slight pain.
"Gah. What-" he stammered.
"I'm sorry... but you scared me half to death! I've never been scared of anything before. I just- I... I didn't mean to hit you" Mari said suddenly, the girl shifting through so many emotions in a matter of seconds.
Patting him gently on the arm in apology. The punch stung but nothing he couldn't handle.
Shinji laughed, actually laughed, in spite of it all, a weak little thing that caught in his throat. That was Mari alright.
"Are you okay?" Shinji said reached up to cup her face with his hands. Holding onto her cheeks gently, the warmth of his hands making her almost blush, red eyes of his brimming with concern now that he'd finally seen her again.
"Last time I saw you, Zeruel had attacked. Had blown your Eva's arm off, impaled you up into the air... It made me so angry to see. I was so worried about you" Shinji stammered. Voicing choking up at the memory of the battle.
The images played back in his mind, willingly or not, a side effect of having returned from his time inside Unit 01. Perfect Memory that the Broken Man had gained now flowing into Shinji.
…
Memory of Mari vs Zeruel
From Chapter 20
Young Shinji could see, with stunning clarity, Zeruel holding the double impaled Eva Unit 03 into the air. Could hear Mari's harsh agonized breathing via the comm as the Angel held her up high, before throwing her off to the side like trash.
The Eva missing an arm, multiple stab wounds littered in its torso, burns marks along its shoulder and neck, and inside the Entry Plug... Mari. The girl laying helpless and bleeding from the impact of her fight.
He could even see himself, screaming out in anger and rushing after Zeruel with Unit 01. Punching the Angel despite his skull fracture at the time. Blood running down his face.
Young Shinji could see all of it in pure untouched clarity. As if playing a film in his head.
…
STOP. You said the Angel's name. You can't do that, boy. Not with Mari. Not with anyone. How are 'you' supposed to know Zeruel's name? You have to be more careful The Broken Man said suddenly.
The older man's voice seeming to snap at Young Shinji for his slip up.
Mari only laughed at him, a weak little thing that had mirrored his. She didn't seem to notice Shinji's mistake, that he had mentioned things that he could not have known without outside help.
"You're worried about me? Oh Shinji... that... that's just so you. I'm fine. Was in the hospital for a week-" Mari began.
"You were in the hospital! Mari-" Shinji cried.
Mari put a hand over his open mouth, smiling at his alarmed expression.
"I got out a month ago. What about you? Did they treat you bad at Nerv? What happened to your eyes-" she stammered. Suddenly frowning at the foreign red irises that her boyfriend had.
"I'm fine. What about you-"
"No, you first-"
Shinji and Mari stammering over themselves, never quite leaving each others grasp as they worried over the other.
Both of you need to stop talking over each other. Its getting annoying. The Broken Man muttered darkly.
The two teens managed to laugh at it all. Mari relieved beyond belief to see him in person. Shinji looking tired and some how older, smile standing in stark contrast the dark tint to his eyes, not the foreign red, but the almost grizzled look to him. Odd in one so young, the light behind the boy's eyes faded and worn out... or it had been until he'd seen his girlfriend again.
Mari leaned in close, bumping her forehead against his gently. Just like when they were kids. Damn, that seemed like such a lifetime ago for Shinji.
Young Shinji kissed her, leaning up to press his lips to hers softly. It surprised Mari, seeing him be so affectionate and direct with her so suddenly. But he could feel her smirk as their lips moved together.
The two found themselves stumbling back into Mari's apartment, the older girl closing the door behind them.
Mari breathing out heavily as the two panted in her living room. She giggled quietly as she felt her boyfriend's hand on her hip. Young Shinji tugging at the ends of her shirt gently, not forcefully, never forcefully, only an invitation. Always so polite, so mature for his age.
She had missed his touch. Clumsy her Shinji had been on his first time, virgin and inexperienced, and yet Mari had felt the warmth behind it. The thing that made her feelings for him different than any of the boys she'd been with before.
Mari took his hand and guided him into taking off her shirt. The boy smiling softly at her as she led him to her bedroom, unbuckling his belt with her free hand.
Later
Young Shinji Ikari lay in his girlfriend's bed with her. The two naked under the bedsheets, him curled up against Mari softly. Breathing quiet low breathes against her bare skin, his head resting on her shoulder.
He felt alive for the first time in two months. The sex had not only been a physical need, but an emotional one, an outlet that had grounded himself back into 'him' and not the Other.
This right here, his time with his girlfriend, was his life. Shinji reliving the feelings of Mari's skin upon his own, his hands running across her bare back and pulling her close. Mari's steady breathing as she moved atop him.
He ran his hand through her hair again, savoring this feeling, alive and warm. Like he wasn't alone.
"Mmm. That feels nice, Shinji- hey... what's wrong. Why are you crying?" Mari asked, humming in response to their closeness before seeing the watery eyes. The girl curling closer to him upon seeing his quiet tears.
"Nothing. Nothing at all." Shinji said blinking back the tears before they came again.
Damn, he was crying too much these past few days. Ever since leaving the Memories of the Broken Man.
He took Mari's hand in his and squeezed it lightly.
"Do you want to talk about it? The... the two months 'away' " Mari said quietly, voice low and concerned.
You cannot tell her what you saw. Do not tell her anything. DO NOT. The Broken Man spoke. The first time he had spoken since Young Shinji had entered Mari's apartment.
The Original Shinji had looked away the moment his younger self had peeled Mari's shirt off. The Broken Man had absolutely no desire to 'watch' the acts that had followed.
I know! Alright... I know. The truth is... the truth- It's too much, too much for anyone, me, her, it just too much pain. Leave me, I need this. I won't tell Mari anything that matters, okay. Shinji thought.
… Your phone is ringing.
I'll get it later
Misato will not be happy
Go. I'll deal with it later...
And with that, the Broken Man's voice faded. The things he had to put up with.
"Not really. Mari, I was 'there' and 'awake' but at the same time I wasn't. It's a strange feeling, like being alive but 'not' all at once. The whole time, I just wanted to leave. Hoping that Ritsuko would get me out" Young Shinji whispered softly.
"You knew Ritsuko was trying to get you out?" Mari asked blinking in surprise.
Shinji nodded. "I could hear her... sometimes... her voice came in and out. Its hard to describe, when I was gone... I didn't have a body. I was... I don't know... formless... then I came back" he whispered.
Mari peered down at him from under her bedsheets. Glancing at the red eyes that were now his.
She ran her fingers along his face. Curious, but not pushing.
"Red eyes are hardcore. Look like a real tough guy now" Mari said softly. Playful smirk forming on her lips as she looked him over again.
Shinji breathed out a small chuckle at that, a tiny thing that was gone in a second. Gently, he guided her hands from his face.
"I don't like them. I miss my old eyes." Shinji said avoiding his girlfriend's gaze.
He flexed his fingers, feeling all five of them in his left hand. Not the three that the Broken Man had in his 'bad hand', another difference between the two Shinji.
"Ritsuko said something about over exposure to LCL." Shinji lied softly, letting the words come out before the Broken Man came to lecture him again.
Mari raised her eyebrow at that. She was no scientist, but their lives were just so weird. Evas and Angels.
"Nothing to do really, but they don't hurt. Just strange" he added slowly.
"... I don't mind them. They're still you. That's all that matters" Mari whispered to him softly.
Shinji closed his eyes at that, squeezing her hand as their fingers interlocked.
"Thank you Mari" he whispered. The two of them cuddling together, and finding sleep.
Morning after
"Hey, boy. Get up."
The voice cutting through the morning haze when Young Shinji woke.
He blinked and rose from his girlfriend's bedsheets, slowly stretching his arms in the early day. Mari soundly asleep beside him, and he had to move carefully so as not to wake her.
The Broken Man stood in the room with them. Dressed in rags, tall, with wild greying hair and mixed colored hollow eyes. Beaten and battered skin, tiny scars littering the man's hands.
Young Shinji gasped at the sight of him. At Old Man Shinji standing a few feet from Mari's bed.
He couldn't really be here... he couldn't be... what was this? A mental projection? A dream? The 14 year old narrowed his eyes, breathing quietly, even as his girlfriend slept beside him. Her bedsheets falling from his bare chest.
"Got your attention? Good. We need to talk. About the job only we can do." The Broken Man said, tilting his head at the boy, hollow eyes unblinking.
Opening quote with BOTH the Young Shinji and the Broken Man. What do you think?
We've seen a lot of their messy relationship this chapter(and we'll see more next chapter), and they can 'sort of' work together on somethings. But they may not always agree.
Like I said, not as much plot this chapter. More 'reintroducing' plot points from the first 20 chapters, and a huge focus on the character of Shinji Ikari. Both of them.
Had pacing issues, so a reason for abrupt end was the splitting of chapters. I don't want every chapter being a colossal novel like the Memory Arc was. Long chapters should be earned. So little of Rei and Asuka this time, more next time.
There were a few scenes this chapter, (non Shinji POV) where I wanted it to be ambiguous as to which Shinji was speaking. And other times, you know exactly which Shinji is in there.
What do you think of the Young Shinji now that he's out? He is a young, so he does not handle everything well, and he lost a lot of time in the Entry Plug of Unit 01. I hope readers don't hate him. I hope readers can see both sides of Shinji v The Broken Man, or at least how the characters see it.
Thanks for Reading and please Review.