Hey guys, back again.
Thanks to all the new readers and the kind reviews, I really do appreciate all the feedback. Sincerely.
This is not as action-packed as the previous chapter. This is more about the characters after the 'event'. This takes place almost immediately after the last chapter.
More drama and character moments this time than pure plot. Hope you enjoy.
Here's Chapter 36 'Aftermath'.
"The adults tried to hide the truth from me. They didn't want me to see her... and when I finally did I understood why. I didn't agree with them, but I understood. It was never right, the Eva programs. They put us in these machines and made us fight monsters. They brought us into a life that would break even adults.
Misato started to realize that, but by then we were already too far into the program to stop. And my Other and I had a job to do.
I made my choice, I know it was selfish, but she was my everything."
- Shinji Ikari
Tokyo-03
Misato held the comm unit tightly and spoke in a concerned frightened tone.
"You have her? Report?"
The recovery team leader on the other end of the channel responded, "her Eva is still too drained to move. Not enough power. We're gonna have to send for it later and-"
"The pilot. I don't give a damn about the Eva right now." Misato cut in curtly.
"… yes ma'am. The Second Child is unresponsive. She doesn't appear to have many physical wounds, she seems to have gone mute, however. I- I don't know what caused it." the team leader said.
…
The Entry Plug of Eva Unit 02
Asuka Langley Soryu lay in the harness of her Eva's cockpit, limply watching with fragile eyes as the metal tube's bay doors were manually opened by the recovery team. Specialized equipment had been deployed to extract her from the Eva, the men and women peered inside and shined a light on her.
She didn't respond.
"Hello." a woman called.
"Hey, are you hurt? Can you move?" another man said.
The team leader, an older man with years of EMT experience shook his head and turned back to the comm unit.
"Captain Katsuragi, the girl's gone mute. Shock, I think. We're gonna get her out." the man said.
Asuka flinched and recoiled from the women as they unbuckled her safety harness and yanked her out, weakly she stirred as they pulled her from the Entry Plug.
Her eyes were wide, dry tears trailing down her face. She was aware of the world and yet at the same time lost to it.
The Nightmare had seemed so real… had it been real? No, the logical part of her mind knew that it must have been fake… it had let her go…
Asuka hiccuped with twinges of pain rippling across her chest, and she felt her mind itself shudder. Like a scar in her very consciousness, a wound in her brain tissue that was leaking into her soul. It ate at her, a lingering phantom pain that she couldn't push away.
Shinji had stopped it, but it wasn't over. It just… wasn't. Fresh tears found their way into her eyes and she blinked in surprise.
The medics looked her over, and a kind man tried to comfort her, but she never quite heard him…
Throughout the entire recovery process, she only uttered a single word.
"Shin… ji"
Deeper levels of Nerv.
The 14-year old boy held the stiff and cold body in his arms. He cradled the mangled mess of flesh close. Bloodshot eyes met his gaze back, but there was no light behind the eyes.
No sign that she was even breathing at all.
Mari's hair was burnt and singed along with part of her body, blackened and torn up fabrics left over from her plug suit clung to her skin like some twisted shroud. Dried blood ran down her face, once so beautiful, now a canvas of bruises and burns.
Shinji couldn't say when the recovery team arrived.
Couldn't say how they greeted or identified him. All he knew was that several medics were suddenly in his reality and that they were talking, asking questions that he couldn't hear.
The team leader, a woman in her early thirties, put a finger to her comm unit.
"We found them. The boy is alright… given… well… him." the woman said. She glanced down at Shinji and his deep red eyes.
"The girl… we're calling in a medical airlift." the team leader continued.
Shinji sat lost to the world, cradling Mari close, eyes aimless and never leaving the girl in his arms.
"Hey, kid. You have to let her go now."
"We can take it from here. I know it's hard but let go."
The recovery team tried to move him, but he didn't budge. The team leader knelt beside him and put a hand on his shoulder reassuringly.
Shinji. You have to let them do their job. The Broken Man stirred.
Young Shinji blinked and tilted his head up.
The projected mental image of Old Man Shinji emerged into existence in front of him. His Other looked tired and worn out, somehow older than before, distantly in some corner of his mind that found excuses not to think about Mari, he wondered what kind of toll the Adam power took on them.
The Broken Man knelt down with him, eyes hollow but with a flicker of something the boy had never seen before.
Compassion? Guilt? Somber acceptance? He couldn't say.
"Let her go, boy. They can help."
One of the medics shifted, reaching for something in her jacket, and without meaning to she interrupted the mental projection. The Broken Man flickered for the briefest second, the medic going through the image of the elderly man multiple times as she moved.
The illusion stayed, and the Broken Man leaned in to visibly glance down at Mari.
A medic shined a light in Shinji's eye, and though he involuntarily followed it, the image of the Broken Man never vanished. It was so strange, the people moved right through the old man, yet the projection remained regardless of the real word.
I- I can't. Mari- the boy thought.
Young Shinji held his girlfriend in his arms and found his hands frozen. Was he in shock? Maybe. All he knew was that he couldn't move. His reality was a confused mess of contradicting emotions and sensations.
You're right. She needs help… they can help her the boy thought.
His hands trembled, and though he wanted to hand her off to the medics he found that he couldn't. Like a signal that would not reach its target, his body trembled unable to act. He had frozen.
Sit this out. I can do this for you.
The Broken Man leaned in and took control.
"The airlift is on its way. Hit the boy with a sedative if you have to-" the team leader was saying, sighing with a somber understanding as she gave out orders.
"I'm fine. Here." the Other Shinji said quietly. The recovery team blinked in surprise as the boy stood, suddenly awakened from whatever had taken hold of him.
The team leaders moved to take her from him, but the boy politely declined.
"Where do you want her?"
"The stretcher" the team leader responded, the group had already prepared the transport gear for the incoming airlift.
Other Shinji held Mari in his arms with ease, standing tall and somber as he laid her on the stretcher whilst the medics strapped the girl in.
He gestured at the wreckage around them saying, "she was in the infected Eva. From the looks of it, she was hit with an N2 missile. Low to mid-range nuclear yield force equivalent. The machine took most of the damage but it's not perfect."
The team leader glanced at him in surprise.
"She suffered limited burns. The rest of the damage is from the force, internal bleeding is likely." the Other Shinji continued.
He played his role, moving his head side to side as if snapping back into some haze. Playing the shell-shocked victim and providing a cover for his younger self.
The recovery team examined their patient on the stretcher and found much of the same conclusions.
Thank you… I… can we go with her on the airlift. The boy stirred weakly.
I'll ask.
"Hey… can I go with you on the airlift?" the Other Shinji asked, he brought the boy's voice low and quiet, more of a murmur.
"Sorry, kid. It's against protocol." the woman answered him.
The team hoisted Mari up and sent her on her way via lift, the Shinji(s) watched her go. A helicopter would be on the surface of the Geofront waiting for her.
"Kid, let us look you over. You might-" the woman began.
"Just scrapes and bruises, nothing I can't handle." the Other Shinji said, shrugging off the medics.
The boy with the unnerving red eyes gestured to Eva Unit 01 kneeling over them all and said: "I gotta get 01 back to the hangar."
The remaining medics watched the boy go on his way, re-inserting the entry plug and piloting the Evangelion among the wreckage. The team leader shook her head, she felt for the poor kid, probably just needed something to keep his mind off things.
Later
Rei Ayanami sat in her apartment bedroom, freshly showered and changed out of the hospital gown she'd been sporting for days. She had returned Eva Unit 00 to the hangar as Gendo had ordered and been relieved of duty. The only Eva pilot cleared to leave as of yet.
She had returned home wordlessly, Gendo having praised her on the operation. Yet she had not cared, and for perhaps the first time in her life she had drowned out his words.
The pale skinned girl sat alone in her apartment, SDAT player in her lap, headphones in her ears, and cycling through various tracks.
Rei cradled the little music player close to her chest, her fingers tightened around the metal frame, Shinji's gift to her, and her lips trembled.
Shinji… she thought.
Rei raised the volume on his SDAT player, and the machine did its job, playing back an audio file as the girl tried to ignore her feelings.
She failed.
Tears formed in her red eyes. Memories of the incident played back in her mind, memories of her pulling the trigger. Rei remembered every second of it, the fireball that had engulfed Bardiel, of bringing the Spear down on the infected Eva and Mari.
The finger that had pulled the trigger shook and the tremor spread to the rest of her hand.
Rei hiccuped and let the SDAT player fall to her bed, where she slumped down head held low, crying softly.
The girl wept for the first time in her entire life, the only tears she had ever shed in all the memories she could access. Her body shook, and she let out low harsh breathes as she cried.
Tears slid down her cheek and landed atop the still playing SDAT player. Rei tried to fight it, Gendo did not allow weakness, and found that she couldn't.
She raised the volume louder, trying to drown out the sound of her sobs, but she found the player already at its max setting.
Rei grew angry at the little machine and raised a hand to throw it against the wall… then stopped.
It had been a gift from him. From her only friend.
Her lips trembled, and she lowered her hand, curling up into a ball on her bed. She cried softly into the sheets, hiding away from the world and drowning it out with the SDAT player.
"He will never forgive me... he will hate me... " Rei whimpered into her sheets, wrapping her arms around herself and clutching the gift to her heart.
The Geofront
Other Shinji walked to the encampment of Nerv staff and personnel, the series of tents that had been set up during Bardiel's assault and the evacuation of the complex. Eva Unit 01 was back in its launchpad and he had wanted to check in with the others.
Ritsuko was outside her work tent, cigarette in hand when she spotted him. The doctor put out her smoke and moved to meet him just outside the encampment.
Is that… which are you? The boy or the man? Ritsuko's expression seemed to say.
Other Shinji stared at her unblinkingly, solemn and silent.
Oh… the Other. Ritsuko seemed to say.
"What happened?" Ritsuko asked.
"Mari was hit with an N2 missile. Angel's dead, but the girl's in bad shape." Other Shinji answered simply.
Ritsuko shook her head in dismay. The scientist in her ran the number in her head, the Evangelion Units were incredibly durable, but they were never designed as nuclear bunkers. Bardiel had somehow enhanced the Unit he had infected, but even that wouldn't have been enough.
"What happened on your end?" Other Shinji asked.
Ritsuko blinked at him. It was unnerving talking to the Broken Man, something she was still getting used to.
"I used the emergency rig. The Entry Plug was ejected, and the power was cut off." Ritsuko said.
She went over the events at the testing site, telling him about how she had used the emergency rig she'd set up last minute, of how it had seemed to work at first. How Mari had been ejected and how the power had been cut, of how Bardiel had drawn power from something else, of a 'light' that had shinned in the Angel's eyes before he whirled to catch the Entry Plug mid-fall and take Mari hostage.
Throughout it all, the Other Shinji listened carefully, deep red eyes unreadable.
...
Young Shinji winced from deep within the Other Place listening to Ritsuko's tale. The boy sat glumly at the corner of the bridge between him and his Other.
He stared at his hands, the phantom weight of his girlfriend ever-present.
...
"You know something. Don't you?" Ritsuko questioned curiously.
"Yes." the Other Shinji said, then he gestured behind the doctor.
People were starting to notice that he had arrived at the encampment, Nerv personnel that had only heard vague reports that all five Angels had been stopped. That Mari had been critically injured and was being airlifted to a hospital at top priority, that the headquarters had been breached for a second time, that he 'Shinji Ikari' was the only pilot currently combat operational.
Some stared at him, the boy had dropped his contact lens in the entry plug, and the deep red eyes that he had returned with from his Eva were open to the world. The boy was covered in scrapes and bruises, with Mari's dried blood staining his plug suit.
It made an unnerving sight that startled many an adult.
Ritsuko did her part, she reached out to him pretending to be examining him as a cover for their earlier conversation.
Misato came rushing out of a Nerv tent and sprinted for him calling out his name. She looked just as tired as Ritsuko, and almost hugged him but stopped at the sight of him.
"Shinji! Is that- are you hurt-" Misato stammered in a panicked voice, her finger was reaching for the comm unit ready to call in a medical team or another airlift if she had to.
"It's not my blood." Other Shinji said eerily quiet.
He played his part, acting upon the role of a victim in shock, sounding distant and not altogether 'there' in the world.
Misato watched him carefully, concern etched across her face.
Young Shinji reached a hand out and his fingers shook at red stains on his Plug Suit.
"It's hers…" the boy croaked weakly, eyes lost and shaking as he spoke.
Misato stared at the blood on Shinji's hand and uniform. She went to him and embraced him reassuringly.
"I'm sorry, Shinji. It'll be okay, I promise" Misato whispered into his ear.
The boy leaned into her embrace, not caring that he was being watched. The crowd that had gathered began to disperse. They were curious, scared, and anxious but this display reminded them that even if Shinji was an Eva Pilot, he was also a teenager. A kid, really.
Misato pulled him back to let him breathe, and she placed comforting hands on his shoulder, looking him up and down. She took in the sight of his cuts and bruises, and how disturbingly uncaring the boy was to them.
"Do you know where they took her? Where is she? How is Mari doing? No one will tell me." the boy stammered.
Misato frowned heavily, he could tell she was trying to find the right words. He could read people much better now, and he knew she was trying to be reassuring, trying to be the closest thing to a mother he had, but right now… he just wanted the truth.
"We don't know any more than you do, Shinji." Ritsuko answered suddenly.
Misato snapped a harsh glance at her friend, and Shinji took that in.
His feet grew unsteady and he almost fell, but the Broken Man held his legs firm. Misato grabbed ahold of him at the same time, embracing him again.
"She'll get the best care. That's all we can hope for right now." Ritsuko continued, and Misato gave her another harsh look.
"I'll let you know as soon as I get an update. I'm sorry, Shinji… just… hey come on we need to get you checked out." Misato answered.
"I'm fine" Young Shinji said, repeating with his Other had told the medics. So, he had a few bumps and bruises, who cared? Mari was… she was dying-
He couldn't finish the thought. He felt like vomiting, and again the Broken Man held it in for him. He wasn't like his Other… he wasn't strong.
It's not about being weak. You're human.
He let Misato pull him off gently by the hand, she walked him to the medical tent away from the still smoking Ritsuko.
"Ritsuko didn't have to be so blunt. I'll talk to her-"
"No. I wanted the truth. And she gave me that." The boy answered in a whisper.
Misato shook her head in frustration, guiding him into the tent.
"Where's Asuka?" the Other Shinji asked, no one else had.
"In the tent. She's fine, just in shock." Misato said haggardly.
The moment they entered, Shinji saw her.
Asuka sat propped up against a tent wall, eyes distant and wide. Her face had been cleaned, the medics had been taking care of her, but she wasn't all right and Shinji could see it. She was still in her Plug Suit, just as he was, and she didn't look up as they came in.
Misato got a medic to look him over, once Shinji was bandaged and given some antibiotics, they told him to lay down with the others. Misato hovered over him the entire time, arms crossed and grim-faced.
Shinji glanced Asuka's way, but the German girl didn't look up.
Misato's comm unit went off, and his guardian walked off to take the call. She chatted with the person on the line, and Shinji overhead her being called away for some duty or other.
"I'll be fine. Just go" Shinji told her when she looked at him.
Misato paused, she didn't want to leave him here, but her work was pulling her away. She patted him on the shoulder saying, "I'll come back for you, and then we can see about going home."
Shinji nodded, watching her go.
The boy sat in the bed the medics had set up in the tent, lost to the world, and barely noticing as people came and went.
He felt a tug, and the boy gladly gave control over. He didn't want to think at times like this.
The Other Shinji rose from the bed and walked over to join Asuka.
The German girl looked up at him with wide uncertain eyes.
"Asuka. How are you holding up?"
The girl in the red plug suit watched with him distance eyes, blinkingly softly, and she curled into herself seeming to shrink from the world.
"I'm sorry that Misato didn't check on you more. She's busy, and everyone is dealing with a lot right now."
Asuka shook her head, trying to hide her tears.
The Other Shinji took a seat beside her. He would not force her to talk unless she wanted to.
Eva Team One, paired together so long ago. Friends for lack of a better word in her mind, and so much more in the Broken Man's view. Red and blue, their blood-stained plug suits stood in stark contrast to the white medical tent.
"… do you feel it?" Asuka asked suddenly. The first words she'd spoken since being picked up by the recovery team.
The Other Shinji turned to face her, her eyes were glued to the floor, and her lips trembled as she spoke.
"… up here" the girl whimpered and brought a hand to her forehead.
"Yes." Other Shinji answered softly.
Asuka avoided his gaze. She let out a heavy breath and shuddered.
She sat there breathing quietly, and the Broken Man let her. He didn't push her, he did nothing besides sit with her, letting her take her time.
"You- I-… you" Asuka stammered suddenly.
The Broken Man turned to look at her, deep red eyes waiting patiently.
Asuka lifted her head and slowly turned to face him. A stark contrast to the near comate girl from before.
"You left me" she said in barely a whisper.
The Broken Man considered that. During the Angel's trap, the kill zone, the boy had made her promise to stay together. That they would not separate no matter what. A promise that had reassured her in their darkest moments, when they had backed into a corner with the Beasts and Bardiel closing in.
And the thing was… the Shinji(s) had left her. After they had broken Areal's Nightmare, they had had to leave Asuka behind. Bardiel had been racing towards Nerv and the safety of the world had been at hand
So, they had been forced to leave her in the ruins of the city block and call a recovery team for her.
"You left me" Asuka parroted, the words come out harsher than before. A piercing whisper that cut at him like she had yelled.
"I didn't want to. But I had to. Asuka-" the Broken Man began.
"You. Left. Me." Asuka breathed.
She stared at him unblinkingly. Expression unreadable, in shock, distant and confused, angry, sad, all of the emotions jumbled together in a tangled mess that shined through her eyes.
"You promised… you said… 'we stay together' and you left me"
"I'm sorry" the Broken Man told her softly. He never looked away, not once. If she was angry with him that he let her be angry with him. Deep red eyes of his that never shied away from anything.
Asuka turned from him. Lost to the world again, she sat with her head in her hands.
The Broken Man brought a hand to her, slinging an arm over her in a half hug that startled her. She twitched, moving to push him away.
"It wasn't real, Asuka." The Broken Man said suddenly.
Asuka's hand fell and she let herself be held by him.
"I'm sorry for leaving you. Truly, I am. If I could have stayed, I would have. But I promise you, it wasn't real. The Nightmare." The Broken Man said gently.
Asuka shuddered at the mention of Arael's wrath. But she didn't push him away.
"It hurts… I know it does. People will tell you that it'll go away, they're wrong. It doesn't, it lingers like a scar. Like ashes in your mouth. But scars fade with time. So, do whatever you have to do, cry, shout, whatever you think will help. Just don't wall yourself off, that doesn't help anyone."
Asuka took in his words and let him sit beside her, slowly she leaned on his side. Letting him hold her up. They didn't talk much after that.
Hours Later
Night.
The news reports flashed by screen after screen across the city. People watched, from the ever-decreasing comfort of their homes, huddled around in bars, or else listened from their car radios in eerie silence.
"Nerv is referring to the incident as 'The Five Angel Crisis'. An unprecedented moment in the entire Evangelion program's history. The JSSDF is still counting the men and women lost during their endeavor to bring air support. One Eva Pilot is said to be in critical condition, and their name is being withheld for safety reasons. We here at channel-"
And
"Criticism has been laid at the response times from Nerv and the JSSDF. Rumors abound that the organizations are meeting with city and state officials to discuss what went wrong."
Or else
"- civilians were drawn into a crossfire when a single Angel broke through the surface of the city and reached into the bunker below. Reports say that the Angel in question succeeded in pulling the building from its infrastructure and yet no further damage was done. Speculation has been rampant that we are seeing the birth of Angel tactics to draw out Eva pilots, that they are indeed learning, and even using formations."
On and on, the news reported on 'The Five Angel Crisis'.
…
During those same hours, a lone teenage girl was rushed through the medical procedures with a top priority status. Mari was moved up through the list of patients and given treatment first.
The doctors had begun working almost immediately after the airlift had landed carrying her body, they had cut away the burnt and torn remains of her plug suit with cold medical efficiency.
She was stabilized, given all manner of tests and scans, and brought into surgery all in the same day.
Misato's apartment
Young Shinji woke with a start, covered in sweat, and shaking as he rolled out of bed and ran out of his room.
He collided with bathroom door and entered just in time to vomit into the toilet.
Flashes of his dream lingered as he knelt dispelling the bodily fluid, flashes of Arael's Nightmare, the ward, his parents, his Other's death, and finally… the mangled and torn body of his girlfriend in his arms.
They all came rushing through his head in a renewed nightmare to rival the one Arael had created, the boy shuddered as he finished and sank to the floor propping himself up against the wall.
"I don't understand. I beat the Nightmare… Arael is dead. I-" the boy whimpered.
"Life is not a game."
The Broken Man materialized into the dark room with him.
Young Shinji shuddered unable to stop himself and looked to the older man.
"You don't just 'beat' something like that and move on. It lingers. And beating it once does not mean you can beat it every time. It's a struggle that haunts you. You have to fight it every time it comes back to haunt you, every single time. And then… only then… does it fade." The Broken Man told him.
Young Shinji took in those words, wrapping his arms around himself, and shuddering as if he was out in the cold.
"Like a scar" Young Shinji whimpered, parroting the words his Other had told Asuka.
The Broken Man nodded, a solemn figured covered in scars of his own.
"I'm not like you. I can't just… just keep going. Every time I close my eyes all I can see… is her. I feel her weight in my hands" the boy whimpered, eyes distant and lost.
The Broken Man studied him, then glanced down at his bad hand. Three fingers where there should have been five, aged battered skin that stood in stark contrast to the boy.
"You don't want to be like me, boy." His Other said softly.
The old man looked up in the dark to the hallway outside. Footsteps thudded on the floor coming down the hall, and the Broken Man vanished, leaving Young Shinji shuddering and breathing hard.
Misato emerged into the bathroom and turned on the light.
"Shinji" she breathed, concerned look planted on her face.
"I'm sorry" the boy murmured through his shudders.
I can't sleep… the dreams are too real. Too many haunted memories. He thought.
Misato comforted him and guided him out of the bathroom to get a drink of water.
"I'm sorry" he said, over and over again. He didn't mean to wake her, he didn't mean to bother her, she had her own work to deal with.
"Stop saying that, Shinji. But you need help." Misato began.
"I'm not going to the hospital unless it's to see Mari" the boy said surprisingly stern. His voice came out harsh in the wake of his shudders.
Misato stilled at that, frowning heavily.
"Shinji-" Misato whispered somberly.
"I have sleeping pills. Leftover from my monthly medicine. I'll take them… don't worry about me" Shinji told her.
Misato put a hand to his face, and he knew that she hated seeing him like this. But right now, he didn't need a mother figure. He needed answers and they both knew he wouldn't get any.
Young Shinji rose from the breakfast table and made his way down the hall to his room. Misato watched him go, and he paused as he passed Asuka's room. He could hear her tossing and turning in her bed.
It seems he wasn't the only one with nightmares.
Days later
Nerv
The world seemed to move on in a blur for Shinji and many others following the Five Angel Crisis. Nerv was under repair again, in the deep lower levels, and the reconstruction efforts went smoothly and efficiently under the careful guidance of Gendo Ikari, but it was under harsh secretive conditions.
Very few people were allowed down there, and even the constructions crews were severely limited in their access.
More reports came on the news channels, the city reeling from an attack of such magnitude. The incident got the attention of the world, the United Nations and the JSSDF were taking a greater interest in Nerv and the Evangelion program. The world powers grew concerned at the appearance of so many Angels at once that had displayed remark intelligence and tactics.
So, it was that Misato found herself in yet another meeting with the higher ups alongside Ritsuko and Kaji.
...
"42 dead. 42 of my men dead and you have no answers" the JSSDF liaison said harshly.
JSSDF battalion commander, Lieutenant Colonel Hashi, known by his men as 'the Boss', stared narrowed eyed across the conference room at Nerv's Director.
"Their sacrifice is well noted. It slowed one Angel's progress and allowed the Third Child to take down three of the others." Gendo said coolly. The man's face was a mask of calm, eyes hidden behind tinted glasses.
He has a name. For fuck sake, Gendo… your son is hurting. Misato thought glumly.
"And yet we still don't know what caused this. Five Angels? And tactics? Where the hell did they learn such things?" Hashi said sternly.
Gendo glanced to Ritsuko seated off to his side.
"We cannot say for sure. The Magi supercomputers calculated their plan and predicted the kill zone, but it was only after it had been set in motion. This kind of incident goes against all prior data." Ritsuko said simply. She spoke as a scientist, pure raw data.
The Lieutenant Colonel crossed his arms at her statement.
"The only comparison is the First Breach of Nerv. But again, there are differences. That time the Angels seemed to target the Evangelion Units themselves-" Ritsuko began.
"But not this time" the Lieutenant Colonel interrupted.
Misato looked up across the table to eye the man. She had wondered about that herself lately.
"The Angels left the Eva Units behind after they had been subdued. The infected Unit ran straight towards this very base afterward and breached your defenses." The Lieutenant Colonel continued.
"Incorrect. I lowered all defenses and lured the infected Unit into the deeper levels where he could be subdued. The plan worked as you can see." Gendo said flatly.
"Yes. Your bravery is noted." Hashi said flatly, a mocking tone evident in his words. A counter to Gendo's own lack of genuine sympathy for the dead soldiers who had tried to support the Evas.
Gendo did not take the bait, he let the insult go and waited patiently.
"No more secrets. I've had enough of that. What is it that the Angels wanted? Why did the infected Eva Unit abandon the fight to breach Nerv? What lured him down there?" Hashi said.
The military man eyed the Director of Nerv for any signs or clues, anything that he could work with. But Gendo was unreadable as ever, not even SEELE could make out his plans, and so what hope did the JSSDF have?
Tension filled the air as the Lieutenant Colonel got to his feet waiting for an answer. All eyes were on Gendo and Hashi, Nerv and the JSSDF.
He has a point… what 'did' lure the infected Evangelion down there? Why did it leave Shinji and Asuka after they were incapacitated? Misato thought. Somehow, she didn't think the Lieutenant would get the answers he wanted.
Fuyutsuki spoke up, trying to intervene before more conflict between the organizations grew.
"Perhaps we have gone off topic. This meeting was to discuss the incident and prepare for the possibility of a repeat. I suggest that-" Fuyutsuki started.
"No. I think we're perfectly 'on topic' Mr. Fuyutsuki" Hashi said coldly.
Misato watched the three men and shared a glance with Ritsuko and Kaji. The two didn't like this either, but neither knew what to say.
"The JSSDF has provided you with support, no questions asked. You put teenagers inside some of the most powerful weapons ever developed and kept them outside military jurisdiction. You put a former mentally ill child in one of those machines. Through it all, we have done our duty. Now… I want answers" Hashi said sternly.
Gendo considered that.
"To do so would violate the agreements made under the authority of the United Nations. Nerv operates and answers to the direct supervision of the UN. You must understand that there is 'need to know' information, even for the higher ups such as yourself. Some things are bigger than one nation's government or military." The Director of Nerv countered.
"Even when that nation is your own?" Hashi scoffed.
"Yes. I was chosen to lead this organization because I can make the hard calls. I do my duty, I expect you to do the same." Gendo said coldly.
Hashi made to continue, to protest and demand more but Gendo made no notice.
Gendo rose from his seat, gathering his briefcase, before announcing, "this meeting is over."
Without another word, Gendo left the room, and all others moved to follow suit. The JSSDF would not be happy, but what other choice did they have but to move onward.
Outside.
Misato shook her head at it all.
Just what we needed, more tension between us and the Japanese military. She thought with a flicker of annoyance.
Misato wandered the halls of Nerv before coming to a stop at the break room, she needed a moment to think.
She began to brew a cup of coffee and Ritsuko emerged to join her. Misato gave her a knowing look as her friend pulled out a cigarette and lit it.
"Smoke break?" Misato asked in greeting.
"After that meeting? Definitely." Ritsuko answered.
Misato chuckled lightly at that, but there was no feeling to it. Things were tense in the aftermath of the crisis, and humor felt out of place lately.
"Gendo is an ass… but the Lieutenant had a point. Why did the Angel get lured down there? And for what? And using Rei like that? Knowing that Mari was still in there?" Misato said slowly.
Ritsuko stiffened, taking a whiff of her smoke. The woman's expression grew unreadable.
"Oh?" the scientist asked.
"You ever feel like you're missing pieces of a puzzle? There's more going on, I can feel it but I have no idea what" Misato muttered, more to herself than anyone else. She finished making her cup of coffee and pondered that.
Ritsuko watched her.
"You have any idea?" Misato asked suddenly.
"No. I'm a scientist, not the director." Ritsuko lied.
Misato mulled that over. A part of her wasn't sure if she believed Ritsuko or not, and another part of herself hated that. Ritsuko was her friend, and though they might have disagreed at times in their roles at Nerv… they had known each other for years.
If she knew more… would she tell me? Misato thought.
For now, at least, that would have to wait. She only hoped she was wrong about all this.
"Ritsuko, why were you so blunt with Shinji the other day? You didn't have to crush his hopes like that." Misato said, changing topic.
"He wanted to know, and so I told him." Ritsuko answered, blinking in surprise at the question.
"You shouldn't have done that." Misato said, sounding harsher than she meant to.
Ritsuko paused.
"I thought it was better for him to know the truth."
Misato fought the urge to scoff. Since when did Ritsuko know Shinji so well? Since when did she take an interest in the boy? Misato decided to let the matter drop, she didn't want to get into an argument with her friend and she was probably just on edge.
Just then, Kaji entered the break room to join them.
"Smoke break?" Kaji said in greeting. His usual charm was gone, and though he never quite looked disheveled, Misato could tell he had been busy and working late hours just like everyone else.
Ritsuko nodded, just as Kaji pulled free a cigarette of his own. Kaji gestured to Ritsuko, and she brought out her lighter and lit his smoke.
"Thanks" Kaji muttered, taking a whiff of his smoke and relaxing visibly.
The three of them stood there in the break room, friends since college, their lives bound together for years now. All of them, survivors of Second Impact. All of them overseeing parts of Nerv and the Evangelion Program.
They didn't speak for a time. Just stood and took a moment to breathe, Kaji and Ritsuko smoking whilst Misato sipped at her coffee.
"How is Asuka doing?" Kaji said breaking the silence. He looked to the two women, a concerned frown making its way onto his face.
"… she doesn't sleep well. Not since the kill zone, just like Shinji." Misato answered softly.
"She's gotten worse. Her sync rate keeps falling and no one knows why." Ritsuko said suddenly.
Misato and Kaji both turned to her in shock.
"What-" Kaji and Misato stammered.
"She only tests alone these days. And she can't hold a sync for longer than ten minutes. At this rate… only Shinji and Rei will be combat operational." Ritsuko said. The scientists spoke in a clinical manner, but her eyes gave her away.
Ritsuko was worried, the situation looked grave. Half of the Eva pilots out of combat status.
"Why didn't you tell me-" Kaji started, a flicker of anger working its way onto his face.
"It's in my report. You'll see it by 2:00 p.m. today." Ritsuko answered sharply.
Kaji let out a heavy breath and cursed, taking another whiff of his cigarette to calm himself.
And Rei's been distant too… avoiding people more than usual Misato thought.
"Ahhhh" Misato sighed heavily. She reached a hand out to Ritsuko, and the surprised doctor handed her a cigarette.
They lit it for her, and Misato breathed in the smoke once and only once. Then she put it out and left the remains in the ashtray. She had stopped smoking years ago, and she wasn't about to start up again, but just this once… she needed it.
"It's not right." Misato said, Kaji and Ritsuko eying her in surprise.
Misato shook her head at the whole situation.
"What we make these kids do… it's wrong. They're teenagers, they shouldn't be dealing with this. Even we never faced anything like they do." Misato said darkly.
Piloting Evas, fighting monsters, losing people, being hospitalized… death. What has the world come to when teenagers are brought into that life? Misato thought.
"… you have to let him see her, Misato." Ritsuko said suddenly.
Misato turned to snap at her, but Ritsuko shook her head.
"You aren't doing Shinji any favors by keeping him from her." Ritsuko continued.
Misato looked away and felt like cursing. That was what it all came back to, sooner or later Misato was going to have to tell Shinji.
Shinji? What am I supposed to do? I- Misato thought, but no answers came.
Kaji and Ritsuko gave her knowing glances and thankfully kept their silence. The three old friends took their break in silence after that, taking the time to collect themselves.
Misato was thankful for that.
How do I tell a boy that his girlfriend is dying? Misato thought.
Elsewhere
Rei Ayanami walked the hallways of Nerv, heading for the hanger.
She emerged onto the scene to find Eva Unit 01 held in its launchpad as always, with its Entry Plug released and laid out on the floor completely open.
Shinji Ikari was rummaging inside, moving through the metal tube and talking to someone via the comm unit.
"I found them. Thanks, Maya. They fell off during the attack." Shinji was saying.
Rei waited patiently, hovering near the Entry Plug silently as the boy began to climb out.
When Shinji emerged, she found that he was wearing his street clothes just as she was, neither had tests today it seemed.
"I'm clear. You can re-insert the Entry Plug" Shinji said into the comm, a hand held out carrying his contact lens that Mari had given him.
He turned and visibly stilled as he spotted Rei waiting for him.
"Rei…" the boy breathed.
"Alright. Try not to lose things in there." Maya's voice called from the comm. There was a screech of metal as the Entry Plug was reactivated, and slowly the machinery was lifted up and re-inserted back into Eva Unit 01.
Throughout the process, Shinji met Rei's gaze but said nothing.
Red eyes, just like mine Rei thought. Some part of her stirred at that in ways she didn't understand, a common point between them. Their eyes, both deep red.
She glanced to his hand where he held the lens that covered them up, and the feeling faded.
He did not look well, his eyes were gaunt with shadows under them, suggesting a lack of sleep.
Shinji slowly turned his comm unit off, and pocketed it, he didn't want any unexpected listeners and Rei was grateful for that.
"Hello... Shinji. I wanted… I wanted to see you." Rei said slowly.
She found it difficult to find the words, what was there to say? There was much in this world that she did not know, and interactions were among them.
Conflicting feelings welled up in her chest, and she found it hard to meet his gaze.
The words were at her lips but her voice never came out. She stood there, wanting to be near, but unable to look for long.
Shinji only stared ahead breathless.
"I am sorry… Shinji. I… I did not want to hurt you." Rei said.
The words came out in barely a whisper. Words that struggled to carry over the empty air of the hanger, soft little things that had been pried from the pale girl of her own choice.
Shinji flinched at that.
I do not understand. I hurt you… again. Why? I did not- I would never harm you Rei thought. She felt a weight in her chest and visibly shrunk.
"Me? Rei… you shot her." Shinji whispered. A broken little thing that escaped the boy's lips.
Rei nodded slowly, head hung low.
I did not want too. I was commanded to stop the Angel. The girl thought.
"I was ordered to." Rei whispered, again forcing the words to come out.
The boy trembled before her, and Rei did not know what to do. She had expected many outcomes, this one among them, and she had no recourse.
"Ordered?" the boy said as if in disbelief.
Yes. Commanded to. Do you understand? I am to follow orders, that is my role. I cannot… I cannot change that. Rei thought.
She looked up hoping that some part of him would understand, and she was crestfallen at the gaze that met her.
It wasn't hatred or anger, it was sadness. A deep pity mixed with haunting disbelief.
"I am sorry that it was Mari" Rei said, voice growing empty and flat.
I would not have wanted her to die. I did not want to hurt her. I only followed orders she thought.
"But you did it… you… still shot her, Rei" Shinji said on the verge of tears.
"Yes." Rei said, holding his gaze no matter how much it hurt. She spoke plainly, the truth. The weight in her chest had grown, a sensation that frequented when she interacted with him, but one she cherished as well as hated. A paradox that she did not care to explain.
She turned to go, head held low. She did not know what she had hoped to accomplish. She had imagined several scenarios, none of them good. Rei continued onward, face a mask of emotionless calm.
Yet the weight in her chest never left, it lingered. And beyond that, she felt an emptiness that she had not known before. A pain that was not physical.
"Rei." The boy called suddenly.
The pale skinned girl paused, unable to meet his gaze. His voice had changed, though on the verge of tears it was like he was fighting them and winning. As if he was more collected than before.
"I don't hate you."
Rei tilted her head at that, and she shuddered at a flicker of something along her heart. She listened breathless, unable to meet his gaze even now, her back to him.
"There's a lot going on right now… and I think I need to be alone for a time. Please understand that. But I do not hate you, Rei. I want you to know that." Shinji said.
"… I understand" Rei whispered in response. Then she left him in the hanger, walking past without ever glancing back.
He may never forgive me. The strange girl thought, and for the second time in her life, she shed a tear.
…
The Shinji(s) watched Rei go.
After she was gone, Young Shinji glanced down at his contact lens and wiped them clean with his shirt before carefully putting them back on. The closest thing to his original eye color.
He didn't know what to make of what had happened with Rei. Too many conflicted feelings, maybe his Other was right, he needed time to be alone for a while. But when he was alone, he didn't like that either.
He wasn't sure what needed, but he knew what he wanted, and no one would give him that. Not even Misato.
If only I could talk to Ritsuko again. I bet she knows what hospital Mari's in. She could tell me. Young Shinji thought. He considered going back home and grabbing his second phone.
No, boy. We shouldn't use that connection for things like that. Keep it strictly for 'the work.'
This IS important.
I'm not denying that.
Young Shinji hissed under his breath. He felt angry at the adults for keeping him from his girlfriend, they let pilot an Evangelion, but they wouldn't even tell him where Mari was.
Short of him going to every hospital in the city and manually looking for her, her identity was kept from the public, he wasn't going to see her until the adults decided to let him.
"Shinji" a voice called, pulling the boy out of his own thoughts.
He turned expecting to see Rei again and was worried about what he would say. Things were too hard with her right now, but instead, he was surprised to see Misato emerging from a lift above.
"I'm sorry for bothering Maya. I just wanted my contacts back." Shinji said, thinking that she had come to reprimand him for releasing the Entry Plug like that.
Misato shook her head, and through her grave expression, he wondered what was wrong.
The lift came to a stop, and Misato got off to meet him.
"Shinji… I think it's time. I'll take you to see Mari" his guardian said carefully.
Young Shinji's eyes widened, and he felt his heart beat faster.
"When can we go?" he asked.
Misato looked uncomfortable.
"I just got off work. But we can stop by the house to rest up or eat if you want-" she began.
"No. I wanna go now." the boy said, determined look on his face.
Misato nodded, reluctantly gesturing for him to follow her.
The Hospital
Their ride over was almost entirely silent. He could tell Misato didn't want to bring him, and that she tried to keep his mind off of things by making small talk.
But Shinji wasn't in the mood, and so they stuck to the radio.
When they arrived, Shinji was anxious, and by the time Misato signed them through he just wanted to see Mari and let it be done with, to know that she was okay.
Misato was eerily quiet on their way through, and Shinji's heart faltered as he saw that they passed into the intensive care section of the hospital.
When they found the room, Misato opened the door for him and said, "she's here."
His guardian spoke in a low, quiet voice.
Shinji walked into the room breathlessly, time seeming to slow down as he made his way inside. He could hear the machines whirl and beep as they performed some medical task or other.
The room was white, always white, and they found a lone figure lying bedridden with various devices hooked up to her body.
"Mari…" he croaked.
The girl in the bed was covered in bandages, her face and head were covered in a cast, though the bandages were cleaned regularly they were stained red here and there. Her eyes were closed, the only exposed part of her face through the head cast.
What little was visible of her once lovely skin was pale as if all the color had been bleached away.
And her right leg was gone… amputated below the knee.
Shinji couldn't breathe, he stood there in shock looking down at what remained of his girlfriend.
The world just didn't make sense anymore. How could this… figure lying there be his Mari? The vibrant and wild girl, so full of life, always a bundle of energy, and yet kind and warm when with him. The girl who had played with him when they were small.
The one who had sneaked into his room as a child, the one who comforted him after his nightmares, who had been his first kiss, his first… everything.
He stood there in shock, pleading with the universe that he was still in Arael's Nightmare. Praying that this was all some terrible dream, a false reality, that it would disappear when he opened his eyes.
But no such moment ever came, because he wasn't dreaming.
Misato was speaking to him, telling him sweet reassuring lies but he never heard them. He stood watching over Mari, eyes hard and cold no longer capable of tears.
"I'm so sorry. I wish I knew what to say, but I don't, Shinji. If you need to cry then you can, don't hold it in." Misato was telling him.
She was holding his hand. When did that happen? When did she take his hand, he couldn't say, all he could see was Mari.
"What's her condition?" the boy said, voice shaking.
Misato gave him a sad pitying look, one that he hated, and she looked away saying "we can talk about that later. Why don't we-"
"Tell me." He said harshly.
"Shinji-"
"You've been keeping her from me for days now. I want to know." Shinji said, stern-faced and voice hard.
Misato hung her head low.
"Shinji, I only wanted to protect you. I didn't want to crush your hope-" his guardian began.
"Misato... please... just tell me" Shinji interrupted, his voice soft and low. Direct yet distant.
The older woman took a moment to collect herself, steeling herself up for the moment she had been avoiding.
"She's in a coma. The doctors did what they could, but she was hurt bad. Real bad, there are scars, and they say… they say she probably won't make it past the week." Misato answered him at last.
And there it was, the truth of the matter at long last. The answer that Misato had denied him for days, the reality that could not be ignored.
"She's dying…" Shinji said in barely a whisper, and it was like someone else was saying the words. Not him nor his Other. Some new 'person' standing in the face of this tragedy.
He pulled his hand free of Misato's grasp and moved to take a seat beside Mari. Misato watched him leave her wordlessly.
Shinji sat there beside the comatose body of his girlfriend. He reached out to take her hand, but he felt next to no pulse, such a weak little thing.
Misato let him stay there for a long time. She didn't interrupt.
He would have stayed the whole night, but a nurse came and said that they needed to change the bandages, and Misato didn't feel comfortable leaving him here.
…
Shinji visited his girlfriend every chance he could get, he skipped school and sat there in that white room with Mari dead to the world. The machines were humming as they kept her alive.
He kept imagining that she would wake up, that her eyes would open, and that she'd crack a joke about the stupid white walls or else ask for some pudding, but no such thing happened.
If anything, Mari grew worse and worse. Her exposed skin was growing more and more pale. Her heart beating just a little slower with each passing day.
Through it all, Shinji sat by her side. Refusing to leave until Misato came to escort him home.
...
Then one day… the idea came to Shinji. He was alone in the room with Mari, Misato had agreed to pick him up later.
Nurses had come and gone, but they were between shifts.
The boy stood and raised his hands up as if in prayer, digging into the power that had been shared with him, and reached out towards his girlfriend's near lifeless body.
"STOP"
The boy's hand froze, and though he tried to fight it, once again he had lost control of his own body.
The Other Place
The Shinji(s) stood together in the white void.
Young Shinji's arm lay stretched out… and the Broken Man's hand grasped the boy by the wrist, holding him back.
The boy tried to fight it, but it was no use. He could never beat his Other in a battle of wills.
"What do you think you're doing, boy?"
Young Shinji gritted his teeth saying, "saving her."
The boy felt the power running through his veins, he had to reach further and deeper than he ever had to even access it. Not Adam's… but Lilith's.
"You don't know what you're doing. Stop, you'll only make it worse" the Broken Man said coldly.
"I can save her." The boy parroted through gritted teeth.
"You got a taste of Adam's might, and now you think you can use any power? Just like that?"
Young Shinji glared at his Other, panting softly as he was held in place.
"Adam is like a wrecking ball, the fire of a dying star. Raw and brutal, a force that moves the heavens themselves. Lilith is different. She's precise, efficient, like a cross between the greatest surgeon and programmer who ever lived. You don't know how to use her power. One mistake, just one, and you'll kill your girlfriend." The Broken Man said.
Young Shinji shook his head and flinched visibly.
"Lilith healed you… before she changed you she repaired most of the damage." The boy stammered.
"Lilith knew what she was doing. She had an intelligence inherited from the first sentient life in the universe, along with millennia of experience and wisdom." The Broken Man countered sternly.
Young Shinji shrunk before the Broken Man's words.
So much for his plan, what did he expect? He was a kid.
Young Shinji released the power before it had begun to well up, and the Broken Man let him go.
".. you could do it" the boy whispered.
The Broken Man tilted his head at him, red and brown eyes watching him closely.
"No."
"Please! You healed me before." Young Shinji pleaded. The boy lunged forward, and the older man stepped back.
Shinji fell to his knees and grabbed ahold of his Other's hand. Three fingers where there should have been five.
"When my head was fractured… and you took me into the Eva, something happened. I came back with no wounds. You could-" the boy stammered.
The Broken Man was silent, expression unreadable.
Young Shinji cursed loudly, his voice echoing across the white void.
"My pills" the boy sobbed.
He raised a hand to his forehead pleading "Page's medicine destroys brain tissue, but you always repaired the damage. Years now and I'm fine. All because of you."
The Broken Man gritted his aged teeth and shook his head at him.
"You're forgetting that there's a piece of me in you, it's interwoven at the genetic level. We're different, I heal myself and it heals you too." Old Man Shinji hissed.
The Elder ripped his hand away from the youth.
"If I use Lilith's power on anyone but us, it triggers the blowback effect violently. We're finally stable, and that took years."
Young Shinji knelt head held low. Mari was dying and there was nothing he could do.
"Please" the boy pleaded.
The Broken Man listened wordlessly.
"We have to do something. We have to try. She's only here because of us. You helped her before." the boy sobbed, not even caring as he wept openly.
"It's not the same. The damage wasn't as bad. Think about Rei. You saw what happened the last time I used Lilith's power."
Ritsuko Shinji thought. He remembered the blowback effect from that night, how it had sent Rei into a seizure.
"Rei… she survived it last time. Maybe she can-"
"Are you actually going to finish that sentence?" Old Man Shinji said, voice dangerously low. Cold harsh eyes stared the boy down.
Tension filled the white void here, the bridge between the two, and a weight emerged in the chests of both Shinji.
Young Shinji squirmed and knew that what he was thinking was wrong, but he couldn't stop himself.
"I don't want to hurt Rei. I don't, she's my friend but what am I supposed to do? I know that we can help Mari, but you won't let us!" Young Shinji shouted.
It was all too much, his emotions had been bottled up ever since he'd first found his girlfriend in the ruins of Bardiel's corpse. Days of going through a haze, of wanting to see her and being denied by the adults, of sitting uselessly by her side as she died a little more each time he visited.
The Broken Man hissed angrily.
"Please… we have to try. As much as we can without putting Rei in danger." The boy pleaded, he was on his hands and knees.
"Get up, don't do that again. EVER." The Broken Man said coldly.
Young Shinji rose to his feet, tearful eyes beaming up hopefully.
"You'll do it-"
"I'll try" the Broken Man spat.
Young Shinji nodded, breathless and thankful beyond words. A glimmer in the dark, but it was all he had to work with.
"Thank-" he began.
"Don't. If it wasn't for me then she wouldn't be here. I fixed her in the ward, and she became an Eva pilot. So, you want to blame someone, don't blame Rei or even Gendo, blame me."
Old Man Shinji gave bitter scoff at that. A sad thing that made him sound a hundred years old.
"Like everything else in my life, I tried to help and made things worse instead. Humph, maybe this will set that right if nothing else." The Old Man said, haunted by memories and experience.
Young Shinji sighed and nodded.
"There's no guarantee. And I won't endanger Rei. So don't interrupt. This is precise work."
"I won't" Shinji said, wiping the tears from his eyes.
Old Man Shinji raised his hands and a shadowy cloud emerged around him, a dark shimmer that came from inside his body. Not the bright light of Adam, not the power of the First Angel but a piece of the Second. A Broken Man in the Dark.
Young Shinji braced himself and didn't fight his Other as his body was taken over.
…
The real world
The Other Shinji looked down at the battered and mangled body of Mari. He doubled checked the room and hallways, then moved to loom over the girl.
He reached for her, to what skin was still exposed from the head cast and placed his hand atop her flesh.
Lilith's power came to his beck and call, all of the girl's cells were visible to him. From the outside, there was no obvious show of power, no visible sign of what he was doing, but from his perspective, it was like seeing a miniature universe.
Other Shinji saw the human body in all its complexity, every cell, every strand of DNA, every vein and bone, and he could tug on them. He could manipulate them, the way his teacher had done with him, but he had to be careful. Ten years of training and he was nowhere near the skill level of Lilith.
Like a programmer looking through thousands of lines of code, Other Shinji scanned through the flaws in Mari's body. The damages and wounds along her 'design'.
Death circled the girl, that dark place where the Broken Man had been many times.
Gently and ever so carefully, he pulled her from the brink. He repaired damage, focusing on the internal organs above all else. The heart, the lungs, the brain, the most vital parts. The Broken Man could not heal her completely, that was out of the question, all he could hope for was to bring her to a point where the girl could recover on her own.
He acted as quickly as he could, knowing that each and every second was a risk, and the Angel network, the bond that connected all of their kind flickered in rejection of the contradiction that was his existence, blowback…
Elsewhere in the city
Rei stood in the shower of her apartment, mindlessly scrubbing her skin clean. She had been carrying such an empty feeling with her since she had last spoken to Shinji.
His words echoed in her mind, and she scrubbed harder.
Then… it happened. One moment she was fine and the next she wasn't.
A searing pain erupted inside her veins and she almost screamed. She fell to the floor of her shower and clutched at her head.
The ache did not stop, it grew and grew, pulsing through her head and spreading throughout her body, her veins were on fire. She couldn't speak, she could barely breathe.
Seizure? Again? Why? What is wrong with me?! Rei thought through the haze.
The pale skinned girl curled into a ball, and images began flooding into her mind's eyes. Views and scenes from which she had no context. It went on for minutes, minutes that felt like an eternity.
But less than the previous time, not as powerful as the incident that had hospitalized her.
Then, as suddenly as it had appeared… it stopped.
The pain went away, the aches faded, and the images vanished. Rei panted in the shower, blood running down her nose. The pale skinned girl shuddered and trembled as she breathed in and out, heavy breathes and held herself with the water running over her.
Back with the Shinji(s)
Young Shinji watched the scene from the Other Place, the white void.
He snapped up in shock as she emerged with a hum. A ghostly specter that hovered along the edges of the scene, the piece of the Second Angel given freely to the one she had loved.
The Woman in the Dark hummed softly and tilting her head at them.
Young Shinji watched with wide confused eyes, and she met his gaze. Deep red eyes that shined in the shadows that surrounded her.
The Woman in the Dark smiled at him, humming all the while. A fragment? A memory? The boy couldn't say.
Young Shinji turned back to his Other and Mari.
The Broken Man stopped and stepped back into the white void. Shinji was given control of his body again.
…
The boy came to the real world with a shiver, he felt so tired all of a sudden. Worn out like he's run marathons without sleeping, and he stumbled back almost falling.
Using such powers was not without its toll.
Did it work? Did you save her? He thought.
She'll live. After that, I can't say. Was the only answer he received.
Young Shinji leaned forward to check on Mari, panting heavily as he did so.
Mari's eyes began to open, and Shinji breathed easier, he took her hand in his and felt her pulse working weakly.
He smiled, the first time since the attack, and nearly wept tears of joy. Her eyes moved slowly as if coming back to life, as if she had been pulled from some abyss, and met his.
She tried to talk but couldn't. Mari blinked up at him, her eyelids opening and closing at a snail's pace, panicked, scared, and clearly hurting.
"Mari! Mari, breathe. Just breathe" the boy said trying to reassure her.
Mari moved, her eyes shaking as if in agony as she moved to sit up. Like she was a corpse coming back to life, muscles in the early stages of atrophy. Shinji moved to steady her, and she slumped into his arms.
She made a strange gurgling sound, and Shinji looked.
Mari was staring at her missing leg… her bloodshot eyes were wide and unmoving at the sight of the amputated limb below her knee.
Shinji held her close and she collapsed into him, he guided her back into a lying position in her hospital bed, never once leaving her side.
Mari squeezed his hand weakly, using all the feeble strength she could muster. And Shinji squeezed back, their fingers interlocked.
Sniffling sounds emerged muffled from the bandages and cast over her head, and tears slid down the girl's face.
Mari was crying.
"I'm here. I'm here." He told her, holding her close but gently.
She tried to talk but her voice was too weak. What came out was distorted whirls.
Shinji held her close, his hand in hers. "Don't talk. I'm here, alright. I'm here." he said through hiccups of his own. His heart was reeling, she was back. She was back!
Mari lay beside him, awake but frail.
He brought their interlocked hands up and pressed a kiss to her fingers.
She calmed at his presence, breathing harshly but stable as Shinji held her. She met his eyes through bloodstained tears, and though no words came from her, he understood. He planted his head close to hers, letting her know that things would be okay.
"Don't be scared. I'm here" he whispered to her.
She nodded feebly, eyes shining with emotion. Her old words to him since they were kids in a mental ward.
Shinji yelled out into the hallway, "I need help over here! She's awake!"
Moments later, nurses came rushing into the room and found the couple lying there in the hospital bed.
They found Mari crying softly in her boyfriend's arm, eyes shaking at the glimpse of her missing leg.
This chapter was much more about characters, and their own traumas after the Five Angel Crisis.
I hope it wasn't too 'glum' for lack of a better word. Pacing is more challenging in this part of the story, and it's one of the reasons I take longer to update these days.
I wanted to show the aftermath of the Crucible arc, and how each Eva Pilot was affected by it. How even though Shinji defeated Arael's Nightmare that he didn't just 'beat' it in one shot, that it haunts him along with finding Mari in the wreckage of Rei's battle with Bardiel. Of how this 14-year-old boy has dealt with so much in such a short time.
And I wanted to explore more of the relationship between the Shinji(s). As well as Rei and her own dealings with her ever-growing conflicting nature. We'll see more with Asuka and Mari later.
What did you think of Mari's fate? Of Young Shinji's choice to save her? Of the Broken Man's talk with Asuka, and the Shinji(s) and Rei?
Thanks for Reading and please Review!
Chapter 37 'Scar' coming soon.