Leah: grant me strength and patience.

Thursday, October 30, 2003

Oddly enough, the sun was a comfort.

These days, she glared up at it, wondering why the day was robbing her of sleep. But now, she smiled.

For the first time in a while, she started the day without waking up panicking from a nightmare. It was like she had her own dream playlist, featuring tunes such as "Sam is Gone", "Is He Dead?", and "Death by Vampire. They cycled in her mind every night, but not last night, no.

As she reached for her alarm clock, something cold and metal tickled her hand. She brought the object to her face, only to instantly toss the bracelet into the bottom drawer of her nightstand. She didn't want anything to bring her down today.

Yesterday, her father had announced that he was taking on her an "epic adventure". They were going to partake in what he considered the great Native American pastime: fishing. She wasn't too thrilled, but a day off from school was a day off from school.

When Harry announced they were almost at the lake, she asked, "Dad, is there any reason you asked me to come with you?"

"What, a father can't have a day out with his only daughter?" He kept his eyes on the foggy road. She didn't remember using this route. Perhaps it was a newly discovered shortcut. Or maybe it was always this way. She hadn't been there in years.

"Isn't fishing part of father-son bonding?"

"Didn't you say you were a feminist? Wanted to be the first female president?"

"That was middle school," she laughed. "And I know girls can fish. Mom does."

"You used to enjoy it, too. Thought you could use some air."

"Nothing like clouds and fog to lift your spirits," she said.

"We can stop at McDonald's on the way home."

"Now you're talking."

They were at a small lake, not too far from the rez. She remembered bits and pieces of fishing when she got a look at the murky water that had once seemed so endless and powerful. They sat in comfortable silence, Harry catching several fish and her lost in thought, watching. Harry gave her a confused look when he saw she had not thrown in her line yet.

"How do you plan on catching anything? Know any fish calls?" He laughed very hard at his own joke.

"This is about you and Mom," Leah whispered. She wore a mask of "realization". This was a surefire way to get her father to talk. Assume the worst.

"What about us?" Her poor old father looked a little worried.

"Dad, you guys can't divorce over a few silly fights here and there." She blinked quickly as if she were about to start crying. She was pretty sure she just looked like a tragedy mask.

"D-divorce? Whoa, honey, don't you think if your Mom wanted out I'd be home begging on my knees until she changed her mind?"

"Then what was so serious we couldn't invite Mom or Seth?"

Harry chuckled. "You got me again."

"Like taking candy from a baby."

He reeled in his line then turned to face her. "Leah...I wanted to talk to you about that boy."

"Oh...Ugh! For the millionth time, I'm fine." She was proud when she realized she meant what she said.

"But you took his disappearance pretty hard at first," Harry frowned.

"Look, no offense, Dad, but I don't know if I want to talk about this with you."

"Oh, come on. Even old dads remember what it's like to be young and in love. I did sweep your mother off her feet after all."

"I applaud your bravery. That must've been a challenge."

"Yup, she fought me tooth and nail, but here we are, happy, twenty years together, with two beautiful children."

"Somehow, I doubt that'll be me and Sam. You would've never abandoned Mom like this."

"I'm sure Sam's problems must be very serious for him to take off, Leah," he said.

"Ha!" She wanted to argue, but it would feel wrong. Her dad was too kind and sweet to be sassed.

"I think you should at least hear him out before you freak out or cut him out. Not that I'd blame you." Harry paused to reel in a large trout. "Don't think I'm not angry with him. Next time I see him, I'm going to kick his scrawny little -"

"Yeah, same." She felt a smile coming on.

"Like father, like daughter," Harry said. They snapped their attention to the task at hand when her line was tugged. "Okay," he said. "First you got -"
"Yeah, yeah, I've done this a thousand times," she mumbled.

An hour later, it began to drizzle so they headed back to the car chatting like good friends. She and her father hadn't discussed school and movies and random things in forever. It was like they were pen pals over the last few years and the fishing trip was an anticipated visit.

"It's a bit hot out today," Harry rubbed the sweat off his forehead.

"I guess. Can we go to the mall after we eat?" Leah asked as they placed their gear in the trunk.

"I don't know if we have time."

She sighed. "What is it now?"

"I just have an errand. At the doctor's." Harry hurriedly got in the front seat and started the car.

"But you don't go to the doctor, not for anything! It's just a check-up, right? You're not -"

"Nothing's wrong. I just didn't want your mother to come and bite her nails in the waiting room. I love her but she's a cynic." Harry's smile didn't reach his eyes. "Doctor will examine me, say I got to lose the weight, eat the lettuce. I'm just making sure. Now your mother won't worry as much."

They pulled away, falling into silence, though not as comfortable as the one on the way to the lake. Leah put in her earbuds (Harry loved rock but preferred to drive without music) and thought the situation over. Was he really okay? He ate a bunch of crap, but what middle-aged man didn't (excluding actors)? He went to work every day, but his hobbies were mostly sedentary - fishing, watching baseball, watching football...He sure enjoyed staring and sitting. Leah allowed herself a laugh. Just then, the car swerved a little off the path out of the woods surrounding the lake.

"Dad!" Leah cried. She turned to swat Harry's arm, but nearly crumpled when she saw him clutching his chest. The car swerved farther when his hand slipped off the steering wheel. Moving quicker than she ever imagined she could, she unbuckled her seatbelt and took over, parking their car off to the side. Her father struggled to breathe. His arms no longer grasped at his chest but laid limp by his sides.

"No," she gasped.

She hopped out of the car and ran to the other side. She tugged and towed Harry out of the car. His expression dulled and softened, not in peace, but resign.

She grunted in frustration. Why him? Why now?

Struggling to put what little knowledge she had to use, she began to push on his chest. Tears dripped on his T-shirt, blending in with raindrops. The weather worsened, wetting her already heavy, long hair. Her elbows buckled and she feared she would lose this battle. "Dad, please! Wake up!"

She was firmly pushed away.

As she wiped the tears out of her eyes, she looked up in shock at none other than Edward Cullen.

He gave her a curt nod. "Call 911." He began to resuscitate Harry, moving at a rapid, unwavering pace.

"Don't! You're going to kill him! Stop!" For a brief irrational moment, she clawed at Edward's stone-like arms, too scared to feel any relief or gratitude. She sobbed, trying to protect her father from the vampire.

Edward's hands continued to pump Harry's heart. "You weren't pushing hard enough!"

"You're too strong! You need to stop!"

Edward kept his eyes down, but his voice hardened with authority. "You are going to have to trust me and give your father a chance. Now call 911, we lost enough time as it is!" Edward nodded towards his cell phone in the dirt.

Leah nodded, stiff with shame and regret, and did as she was told.

She wasn't cold, as one might expect she'd be, after sitting in the rain. She was warm as if she'd been trapped in a burning building, suffocating and panicked. Warm, as if death had just released her from an embrace. In the hallway, her mother sat completely still, her feet planted firmly on the floor, her hands folded on her lap. Leah knew what she was thinking. Sue was fuming about Harry's lack of care for his health. She was also praying for his life and holding back tears.

Seth's head rested on Leah's left shoulder. At times, she couldn't help looking at his innocent face and picturing his toddler-self, banging pots together and drawing on the walls. When he and their mother arrived at the hospital, he was silent, a rarity for him. He simply sat down, his young face terrified.

The three Clearwaters sighed in unison when the doctor confirmed Harry's survival. He went on and on but Leah was busy putting her mind back together after she almost lost it completely. "I'm going to grab a drink. You want anything?" She asked Seth. Sue was listening intently to the doctor and firing off questions.

"I'm fine," Seth sniffled, trying to recover the little toughness he thought he had.

She didn't exactly know where the cafeteria was but that gave her time to clear her head as she turned left, right, right, left, sometimes going in circles. She passed several rooms with families gathered close around a loved one. A husband clutched his wife's hand and regarded her blank face. Two young women whispered to each other at the foot of an elderly woman's bed. At the end of the hall, a man in his forties rested in his room, the shades drawn and the television off. No one stood by his side.

A seat suddenly seemed like a good idea. Across the hall was a small prayer room. She almost turned right back out when she noticed someone in the back row, his palms pressed together in fervent prayer. His head snapped up, and bright, amber eyes shone through the dim light. They both hesitated, suddenly unsure. Without a word, she slipped into the pew, sitting right next to him. Edward leaned back in his seat, relaxing sightly. On a tapestry, the Virgin Mary smiled lovingly at them despite their hard expressions.

"Do you -," Edward started.

She shushed him. Surely he knew everything, had turned over the pieces in her mind, probably in her father's, too. Still, he screwed up his face in frustration.

Gently, she leaned her head on his shoulder, a soft "thank you" drifting across her mind and beating under her heart.

"What the hell…" Leah mumbled.

Sue bit her lip, looking even more stressed out than before. "Do you want me to get rid of him?"

She shook her head and got out of the car before she could think too much about it. Sue told her they'd be at a neighbor's before reluctantly driving away.

Leah wasted no time in marching up to her front porch, where the man in question sat. In seconds, she was standing in front of Sam Uley, glaring up at him. He grimaced but stood straight and didn't look away.

"Where were you?" She fought to keep her voice steady.

"Leah, I am sorry." He stepped forward and she instinctively moved back.

"Where were you?" she repeated.

"I would've been -"

"Where were you?!" Her voice was sharp against the soft gray sky.

Sam took a shaky breath as if he was in as much pain as she'd been the last few weeks. His gaze dropped to the wooden floor, "Something's wrong with me, Leah."

"Are you sick?" She felt her throat tighten at the thought of death and hospitals.

"I don't know if I can put it into words, but I don't feel good...mentally. I don't know if it's this crap with my father or my mom, or what, but I've been...stressed. I think I'm losing my mind."

"Sam…"

"I'm going to talk to the elders. I'll be fine." His hands twisted at his sides.

"When did you get back" she wondered.

"Uh, a couple of days ago. Three, I think."

"Oh." She couldn't hide the pain in her voice.

"My mom heard about your dad so I came over here."

Leah turned away, carefully examining the nearest tree.

"I'm sorry," Sam said, wrapping his arms around her, as he'd done countless times.

"Where were you? Why did you leave?" Leah sobbed, feeling her mask of clam melting away.

Sam shushed her, pulling her even closer. A bit of bitterness made her want to run but her last bolt of energy was carried off with the wind. She could feel her body weakening as if to deem this moment acceptable.

Gradually, her heart did, too.

Saturday, December 6, 2003

When she was four (and she only remembers this because her father retells the story like it's a legend), she told him she wanted to move to Disneyland.

"That's pretty far. Your mother and I would miss you. Maybe we all can visit one day," was Harry's cheery reply. He was pushing her on a swing at the playground.

"Okay! But I'm going to move there when I grow up and marry a prince!" she giggled.

"You would make a wonderful queen," he mused, pushing her closer to the sky.

When she was eleven, princes were replaced with pop stars and famous actors and to her, they were just as attainable. Her, Rebecca, and occasionally Rachel would pour over magazines, carefully selecting their future husbands and the adventures they'd share with them.

She built her ideal man, his physical traits, at least. Deep down, though, she knew she would marry someone from the rez, like her mother and her grandmother did. They'd move into a house close by his parents and hers. No matter her career, she knew she would be a homemaker during her children's early years if not for their entire childhood. The idea didn't sound very appealing until her first serious relationship. Sam made her feel like it'd be easy - their shared heritage, goals, and values, wrapped in simple, constant love. And that was enough to rival any fairytale or fantasy.

Leah snapped out of her saccharine reverie She didn't like to sort things out while she ran - the purpose was to elevate her mood and that was it. Harry's heart attack was over a month ago. Since then she'd been his personal trainer, taking him to the Forks High School track a few times a week. (There wasn't a track on the rez, unfortunately.) He was very willing to do anything to aid his recovery. He was very slow at first but he completed his mile without complaints. Sue helped a lot. She was even stricter about the grocery list than before. (Seth and Leah still missed the soda and ice cream sometimes. Once, they snuck away to get cheeseburgers at a fast food joint, but other than that, they supported their father wholeheartedly.)

Sue took Harry to see a dietician (even though she was taking care of him just fine, she wanted to be sure) so this afternoon Leah was alone. She was free to go faster, so fast she felt like she was flying, not even moving her legs at all. Her feet seemed to barely touch the ground. Whereas the speed of Alice's car had made her feel wear and wary, the speed of her own feet made her feel powerful.

The sun was still out as she waited for her ride, jogging in place to stay warm. Next time, she'd have to layer sweatpants over her leggings. She was moving on to jumping jacks when a silver Volvo pulled up to the curb. Instinctively, she took a few steps back.

Inspecting the car, Edward, of all people gracefully got out of the car, walked to the other side and opened the door like a chauffeur. She didn't move immediately. This was not what she wanted or needed.

Edward cleared his throat. "I understand if you would like to continue exercising," he said.

Hilarious. He could read her mind yet remain oblivious to her feelings. She rolled her eyes and settled into the seat, taking comfort in the warmth of the car. Edward got back in and started the engine. She was starting to feel a little more comfortable when Edward turned down the music.

"May I ask you a question?"

"You're already doing it," she huffed.

"I'm not trying to annoy you."

"Why did you come? I asked Alice for a ride." Leah berated herself for doing so. She had kept in touch with Alice here and there, since Sam's return. Alice was very eager to remain friends and her sincerity and warmth broke down some of Leah's inhibitions. Also, it was easier to ask favors from Alice than her other friends. Leah was...not the same, a bit off, and she felt like a downer when she was around Rebecca or the others.

"Technically, she did arrange a ride for you. You never asked for a specific driver."

"Clearly, I wanted her to drive!"

"How could she have known? Not all of us have telepathy," he chuckled.

"Well, I called her. Did I call you?" she snapped.

"No. We could exchange numbers if you like. Mine is two oh-"

"No."

They were far from the high school when Edward spoke again.

"You could walk."

"Gladly."

As luck would have it, Edward stopped the Volvo on an empty street with no buildings or people in sight. She turned to look at him but he was already on her side, opening the passenger door. She ignored the hand he held out and stormed over to the curb.

Instead of driving away like she expected, Edward drove slowly to match her pace. "You look like a real weirdo doing that," she said.

"I'm ensuring you arrive home safely."

"Oh - you just - ugh!"

"Well said."

"Just when I was beginning to like you," she muttered.

"You wound me."

"Let me walk in peace."

"We'll get in the reservation much sooner if you get in."

"No thank you, I like the cold."

"This is ridiculous. At this rate, you'll be late for dinner. That is if you arrive at all."

In a sense, it was cruel, but when she thought about it, he had her well-being in mind. He knew what she feared the most. He'd been in her head, experienced that night when she was almost… What was it Emmett said? Drained? She suddenly wanted desperately to get off the long, soulless, woodsy street where thick trees shadowed the road. Who knew what might be watching her, waiting for her? She was lucky that night when Alice and Emmett saved her. There could be some worse creature that even people like Edward could not handle

She made her decision. She almost ran to the passenger side only to find the door locked. She went back over to Edward's window when he still didn't open it.

A fake smile was plastered on her face. "Eddie. It would be ever-so kind of you to open the door."

"Answer my questions," he said.

His glare matched hers in ferocity. She leaned a bit closer, unwilling to be intimidated by him, even if he was stronger, older, and maybe a little smarter. Then, suddenly, his face softened and he slid over into the passenger seat. "Go ahead."

After only a few minutes of driving, she was starting to feel the exhaustion from her run. She was pushing herself too hard today. Running was becoming her drug and she couldn't tell if that was bad or good. It helped her forget about all the crap going on in her life with…

"Open your eyes!" Edward's cold hand gripped her arm, ready to spring into action.

"They're open, they're open," she grumbled, straightening her posture and tightening her grip on the wheel. She glanced over at her quasi-friend to see him looking out his window, which was annoyingly rolled completely down despite the cold. Ugh, she should have made "keep the car warm" part of the deal. Was he falling asleep? Had he forgotten about those damn questions?

A smooth voice answered. "No and no."

"I'm waiting," she replied in a sing-song voice. "We'll be at my stop before you know it."

"You know what I want to know."

"Pick my brain then."

"Picking your brain won't make you feel any better," he countered and with that she relented. She did want to feel better.

"So?" she said.

"So. Why did you ask Alice for a ride?"

"Got a problem with me talking to Alice?"

"No, I just assumed that you wouldn't want anything else to do with us now that Sam has returned. Most people keep their distance and they don't even know our secrets."

"If you really want to know, my parents are having dinner at Port Angeles. I guess someone else would've picked me up, but I don't feel like talking to anyone right now. And, yeah, Sam's back, but it's not the same." For once, she was glad he could read minds. She tried to explain her meeting with Sam last month to Edward, in addition to showing him clips and words in her mind.

"Ah" was all Edward said when he heard her story. His expression was too closed off to read.

Is that all? Once she started talking to him in her head it was hard to stop.

"I'll admit I'm a little surprised that you decided to stay together."

She frowned. "Yes, we did." The words felt hollow and stale in her mouth. Sam had plunged back into his old routine. He didn't miss another day of school or another shift at work. He was perfect again, in that boy-next-door way that stood out among all the slacking seniors. He didn't answer questions about his absence and people soon accepted that - the fewer details were given, the crazier the rumors could be. But he was Sam and nearly everyone assumed the best, that he went on a soul-searching journey or something. She was pretty sure she was the only one who noticed his smiles resembled grimaces. But it was hard for just anyone to look past how strong and capable he looked, now more than ever.

Around a week after his return, she came home, sweaty and exhausted, to find Sam on her porch again.

He grabbed her by her arms. "Are you alright?"

"I'm fine," she said, shrugging him off. "I was just running. Uh, how long have you been here?"

"Not long. I would have come sooner if I wasn't so busy. Leah...I just want you to know...I'm sorry."

"And I forgive you. Can we drop it?" She moved towards the door but he shifted to block her path. He had gotten a little quicker these days.

"You're still angry with me."

"Can you blame me? How did you think I would feel about you bailing on me, disappearing for weeks, and showing up without an explanation?"

Sam took a deep breath. "There isn't much to say. I was stressed. I needed a break."

"Did you need a break from me, too? Cuz we can take a permanent one."

"You don't mean that."

"I do. You screwed with my head, Sam. I mean, you don't even know what I've been through these past few weeks."

"It's been hell for me too."

"Then why are you keeping secrets? If you gave a crap, you would talk to me. I was terrified for you! I cared more than anybody but you don't trust me!"

At this point, neither of them could keep their voices down. "You think I don't care about you? If you knew everything, you could be hurt! Lee-lee, you have no idea…"

But Sam had no idea. Leah had learned so much. Their world was much more dangerous than he could imagine. He didn't need to guard her from every bad thing in the universe.

"I'm protecting you." The strength in his voice made her pause

"That's not your job," she finally said. "It never was."

Sam dropped to his knees, no longer strong or capable. His warm hands loosely clasped hers. "Please. At least let me make it up to you."

From this vantage point, she could take in his new haircut, much shorter than usual. She made herself focus on his eyes. "You always need to be perfect. Fix every mistake," she said absently.

In a moment of hope, he pulled her gently down next to him. He kissed the back of her hand. "I'll never leave your side again. I love you, Lee-lee."

She said nothing, only allowed him to keep her hands in his, even as she imagined they were smarting against his hot skin…

"I wish we had done more to help you." Edward's low, musical voice nearly broke her.

"That wasn't for you! You weren't meant to…" She told herself that crying once in front of this guy had been humiliating enough.

"Don't be embarrassed," Edward said, always a gentleman. "I've heard a lot worse."

"I feel so stupid! I said we were over, but then I just let him back in. I don't know if I can handle another heartbreak. It feels wrong to leave but it feels wrong to stay. I'm an idiot."

"You're not an idiot; you're young. You know that phrase, love makes people do -"

"Stupid things, yeah I know. It's so funny. We used to make sense. Would you believe we were perfect once?"

"They say perfection is overrated," he said vaguely.

"Coming from you, that's hilarious."

He smirked. "Are you going to start hitting on me like you did in the bookstore?"

"You wish!" She grinned. "But seriously, all the "wise sayings", man?"

He sighed. "Do you really care what I think?"
"I do," she said, surprising both of them.

"Fine. If you two were perfect once, then you still are...and nothing will stop you from being together. And you'll feel in your heart that he's the one for you. The days you're not with him will be your worst. And the days you are with him will be your best. You'll look past your anger, your pain, and his mistakes because it all pales in comparison to what you two share."

Leah was taken aback. "You speak from experience?"

"No," he said, turning back to his window. Was that a bit of wistfulness she detected? "Just observation."

She didn't have much to say to that. She no longer was angry with Alice for making Edward pick her up. He wasn't her favorite person and she doubted he was hers. But he was surprisingly tolerable. That was a lie. She liked him just fine. With just a few conversations, he had left an impression on her. In a different world, they probably would have been friends. Sadly, life was complicated and dangerous and odd and vampire boys did not hang out with human girls.

They were passing through the busier area of town where most of the businesses, offices, and restaurants were.

"Can I buy you something? As a thank you for the ride?" she asked.

Edward returned her smile. "Leah, I bet my pathetic existence that you're not carrying a single dollar."

"Just you wait, Cullen. I'll surprise you."

They went to the first store she saw. Half the letters on the building were missing so she didn't know where they were until she walked in. There were aisles and aisles of toiletries, makeup, food, greeting cards, office supplies, and toys. Every wall and display had a sign proclaiming all merchandise to be "ONE DOLLAR!"

"Just what the doctor ordered," Leah said.

"Oh, please. That doesn't mean -"

"Hush." She jammed a hand into the deep pockets of her jacket. She found three quarters in her left one and an unwrapped piece of gum in the right. She held the gum out to Edward. "You want?"

"I'll pass."

She popped the gum in her mouth and continued her search. There was a dime in her right sneaker. "I knew it!"

Edward was still gloating. "You're fifteen cents short."

"Wait," she said. Edward turned away, mortified when she pulled two dimes out of her sports bra.

"There goes your 'pathetic existence'," she teased.

"And your dignity," he murmured.

Thankfully, the store was currently empty except for two workers, each slouching glumly over his cash register. Neither bothered to make sure they weren't stealing, as bored teenagers were assumed to do. Leah declined Edward's offer to buy her something. "This is your chance to treat yourself," she said.

"I've been indulging for years. I have a surplus of everything."

"Except fun."

"I have fun." He looked like he meant it, too.

"Doing what?"

"I like to wrestle my brothers. I play my piano."

She rolled her eyes. "But you've been doing those things for centuries."

"Decades."

"Whatever."

They walked around a bit more when suddenly Edward pointed something out. "I want that."

"Ha. Really?"

"Yes."

They paid for his gift and left. She was content for a while, pretending her life was never shaken up and ready to explode like a bottle of soda. She liked to think Edward was, too. He was looking out his open window again, completely still.

Somewhere along the drive to her home, they both snapped back into reality. She said, "It's crazy how you can't drop me off at my house."

"Yes, Alice reminded me of that. Surely, you know of all the Quileute legends about the Cold Ones. We can't risk any spreading of rumors by showing up on the lands."

"Yeah, I get that. We'll part ways just outside the rez. You'll wait there until I text you that I'm home."

"It still feels boorish."

"It's not even dark out. No monsters will come after me." She winced, wondering if she'd inadvertently insulted him.

"It's alright. That's what I am, Leah." He had accepted this long ago.

"Don't say things like that."

Edward finally turned away from his window. "Why shouldn't I? I can convince strangers that I'm human, albeit a strange one, but I'll never fool myself. I am inhuman and that makes me a monster."

"Why are you so sure human equal good.? Thousands of humans kill, rape, and steal and destroy. At least vampires kill for their survival." A few months ago, she never would've imagined she'd be riding in a luxury car with a vampire, much less defending vampirism to said vampire.

"You all get a chance to be good. We have none. Feeding on animals for years won't diffuse the allure of human blood. We crave it and that is evil. It's sick. You are my friend yet I have to keep this window open because sitting in a small, enclosed space with you would drive me insane."

Leah couldn't hold Edward's hard stare for more than a second. He finally turned back towards the window. His body went so still she wondered if he was even breathing. Only his auburn-ish hair twisted in the wind.

"Edward?"

No response.

Oh, Edward, she thought, partly to him, partly to herself. You must have suffered through many things to make you this way. I'm sorry. I just wish you wouldn't be so pessimistic. Then again, I'm all for wallowing in my own misery. We make a pretty terrible pair, don't we?

He laughed very, very lightly. Almost childlike.

An idea, a very good idea, popped in her head. She turned onto a new road with a different destination in mind. They had a little bit of time until sunset. Good thing Seth was at a friend's and her parents wouldn't be home for an hour at least. No one would be looking for her. "You busy?" she asked Edward.

He was already smiling.

The Cullens' porch was much nicer than hers. Edward said the house wasn't new, that the seven of them just took great care of it. They never got tired of repairing and improving things, hence Rosalie's work with cars and Alice's love of fashion design. She was beginning to feel like she knew the others by now and was slightly disappointed when they arrived at an empty house.

Edward and Leah walked around to the back of the porch. "Alice must've seen us coming. I know you were curious about my family, but it would've been an unpleasant meeting. Trust me."

"You painted such a lovely picture of them."

"I love them all. However, things are tense right now." His face betrayed his frustration but she was hesitant to pry further. By pushing he had helped me, but she wasn't sure she could do the same for him. It was harder for her to learn him than for him to learn her. She wondered what it'd be like to hear his thoughts, to have his voice constantly buzzing in her ears.

They sat down right outside the back door. Out of respect, Leah declined sitting inside. She knew her scent lingered and she felt bad enough for driving them away. The porch was smooth wood, painted white to match the rest of the house. Edward joined her and took his present out of the shopping bag.

Of course, she thought. When you do have fun, it has to be in the weirdest way ever.

Edward frowned.

I'm not judging, just a little surprised. Never would've guessed you liked...uh…

"Jigsaw puzzles?" Edward held up the box.

"Yeah." She snatched it out his hand and dumped all one-hundred-forty-four pieces on the porch. "Think we'll finish?" The sun would set soon.

"You take the right, I'll take the left," Edward said.

"Sounds good."

She began to put the pieces together. Ugh, if the manufacturer had put the picture on the cover instead of inside the box, she would've made Edward choose a different one. Now they were stuck building a stupid, giant flower. It was enjoyable, though, working silently together to create something. They were so quiet she could hear Edward's breathing. To her relief, he didn't feel the need to hold his breath near her or anything. He was a lot stronger than he gave himself credit for.

She was finishing up a corner when she snuck a glance at Edward. His half was complete, and he had moved on to hers. "How many of these have you done?" she wondered.

"This is my first one."

"No way. You're too good."

"I...I do remember having some as a kid. I put them together with my mother."

"That's Esme, right?"

"No, my birth mother from my human life."

"You two were close?"

"Very. I loved my father, too, but she understood me better."

She nodded. "I feel the same way with my dad. I look and act like my mom, but Dad and I can talk and talk without fighting."

"How is he?"

"A lot better." She told Edward all about her father's recovery plan.

"I'm glad to hear it." He looked a little relaxed for once. He smiled wryly. "One of us has to live a normal life."

The final pieces were placed together. Edward and Leah leaned back to admire their work. "How lovely, she said. "A big yellow rose. Not lame at all."

"My present, my choice. That wasn't so bad was it?"

"Nah." She glanced at the sinking sun. "Right now, half my friends are probably getting drunk."

"They're young. You're young. Nothing wrong with a little giggle water here and there."

She raised an eyebrow at him.

"I'm traditional, not illiberal."

She laughed. "You need to stop surprising me."

"You forced me out of my shell. Or coffin." He gave his usual half-smile.

"You're strange."

He bumped his shoulder with hers. "So are you."

Edward waited at the border as promised. As she walked away, she glanced over her shoulder more often than she looked straight ahead. He was frozen there, eyes trained on her. She felt safe until he disappeared from her view. Luckily, he could see (and hear) her from a shockingly far distance. She kept telling herself that as she jogged home in the last bit of daylight.

She walked around to the front of her house, only to find Sam there. Again. This was becoming an unwelcome pattern. She wanted to turn right back around, run and hide. But he was staring right at her. He stormed over to her.

"Where were you?" he demanded. His recent growth spurt made him look much more intimidating than he normally would've. His rippling muscles combined with his height (well over six feet) might have appealed to her once, but now she found the whole image of him disconcerting.

Her indignation swelled. "Don't you dare get up in my face like you own me," she growled.

"I ran into Seth earlier. He said he didn't know where you went. I was worried."

She rolled her eyes. "If I could deal with you being gone for weeks, you should be fine with me missing for a few hours."

"You said you wanted to drop that."

"I don't feel like fighting, so go away before I -"

Sam pulled her close. "Hey, I didn't mean to freak out. I was afraid…" His brown eyes widened in horror as he trailed off.

She swatted his chest. "What? Sam? Sam, you're freaking me out."

"It's nothing. You just smell...different."

"That's so sweet," she grumbled.

"Leah, where were you?"

"Now you want honesty. You're killing me."

"Lee, please, be serious. Where were you?"

Leah suddenly felt very scared. It was like she was standing on the edge of the cliff again, not sure whether she should jump or walk away. "I went for a run. Please, just let me go to bed."

After a long moment, Sam stepped back. The terrified look didn't leave his face. "Okay. Do you, uh, mind if I came in for a while?"

There went her alone time. At least her parents wouldn't be back yet. "Sure," she said passively.

Leah headed into the kitchen to make sandwiches for both of them. Even when their food was ready, Sam's mysterious paranoia kept him by the windows watching for something that wasn't even there.

Hopefully.

Later that night, Leah paced back and forth around her small bedroom. A headache would be coming on if she didn't do something. And then the nightmares, the sleeping all day, the moping, and really… she didn't want to be nagged by her mom again.

That was enough motivation to grab her phone and call him.

He picked up on the first ring. "Please tell me you're not in the forest right now."

"Shut up," she said.

He did.

She wondered if he could hear her thoughts through the phone.

"Yes. Not through the phone and not very well. Only because I'm focusing in on you and you aren't too far. It's not that easy."

"Oh, wow."

He didn't respond.

"Are you still there?"

"Yes."

"I just wanted to know. You said that you couldn't come here because of the rumors about your family. The legends, really. Remember?"

"I did," he said slowly.

"So, I guess that means the legends are all true, right?"

"I wouldn't really know, Leah."

"But the one about Cold Ones is...what you all can do, what you look like, even the feeding on animals."

"Well, yes."

"Does that mean...does that mean the wolves are real? That you encountered them and you had a deal with them?"

"Leah," Edward said gently. "Don't be silly. The legends change over time, people build on stories and forget details. That's just one of many stories, isn't it?"

"Yeah…"

"And you've never seen or met anyone who'd seen a wolf have you?"

"No. You're right. I'm being silly."

"You should go to sleep. It's late." His voice was like silk.

"Yeah. You're right. Thank you."

"You're welcome." He paused. "Was that all?"

She wanted to say so much, but only one thing felt urgent. "Does Alice know for sure...if you'll kill me?" The words felt all wrong. But that was the reality of the situation, wasn't it? She wasn't one to delude herself.

"I won't," he said.

"Really?"

"Come what may, I'll protect you."

"How can you mean that? When my blood…"

She could practically hear him glaring at her. "I'll protect you," he growled.

"Okay. Okay. If you say so."

"Just be safe."

"Yeah, yeah, I promise."

He hung up.

She dreamt of forests and running and puzzles.