Happy Valentine's Day! Quite an interesting day to be publishing this chapter but, it's only a coincidence. And I've been waiting long enough. (No, but really, things have just been very busy otherwise.)
Anyway, I guess if you wanted to dig deep, you could say that this is a chapter that shows the familial love between brothers.
As usual would love to hear what you think. ~ Simona
When Ponyboy woke again, the room was pitch blackexcept for a faint light coming from the bathroom. Pony couldn't really see anything (or anyone) and that made him anxious.
"Darry?" he called out, his words slurring in the darkness, "Soda?" A chair scraped against the floor from somewhere nearby and suddenly a dark shadow was leaning over him.
"Pony? You awake, kiddo?" It was Soda.
"Soda…" Pony responded, "I can't see you. Turn on the light."
"Sure," he said, and the room illuminated with a harsh glow as Soda flicked a switch. "I thought you might sleep better with it off. You've been complaining about the light hurting your eyes. I think it worked. You slept for a while," he said, smiling.
Pony rubbed his eyes trying to get used to the glare and flinched when he pulled at the IV he almost forgot he had.
"How long?" Pony asked, looking at him.
"Oh, 2 hours or so," Soda said.
"That's all I do is sleep," Pony grumbled.
"That's ok, Pone, you need it." Soda said, not missing a beat, "Anyway, it was good that you didn't hear me booting Two-Bit out!
Ponyboy looked at him wide-eyed. "You?"
Pony knew that Soda was always been the first one to join Two Bit in his antics – he could never sit still long enough not to. Anyone who knew Soda knew that he had to be terribly worried about his brother to stop Two-Bit's jokes and tell him to leave.
"Yeah," Soda chuckled, as he dropped into a chair by Pony's bed, "I know, I know...that's Darry's job.
Darry and Steve were the serious ones - Steve joining them once in a while for a laugh and Darry always pulling them out of the messes.
"He was throwing things at people out the window," Soda explained, "He almost woke you up at least three times with his howlin'" he laughed, the familiar dance back in his eyes.
Pony hated that he was worrying Soda enough that Soda couldn't be himself. If they had been anywhere near normal, Soda would have joined Two-Bit, laughing wildly when objects hit their target.
Thing was, Pony was still feeling so ill that he couldn't even focus on it too much. But he didn't want Soda to know that.
Soda winked at him reminding Pony of their father, who had winked at him from the table in that dream where he had met his parents for the first time. It made him shiver.
"Cold, Pony?" Soda asked, leaning over him. He felt his brother touch his hair, fingers brushing his forehead.
"I'm ok," he said, pushing thoughts of his parents out of his mind. "I wish you could go back to living your normal life," he said dejectedly, "That you didn't have to be with me here all the time…"
Soda studied him for a moment. "Don't go saying things like that, Pone," he began, "You know I want to be here…"
"Yeah, but maybe if you weren't, you'd go out and have fun in the snow. Have a snowball fight or something," Pony said, remembering that time where Soda had hit Dally with a snowball. He always hated that Soda's childhood had been cut short because he had to work full time, He had it almost as bad as Darry.
"Now how in the world am I supposed to have fun in the snow when my brother is here suffering in a hospital bed," Soda grinned, but his eyes were sad, "I'd be as much fun as a horse that got stuck in the mud."
"I think you'd manage," Pony said with a small smile.
Soda smiled back, "Tell you what," he said, "You work on gettin' better and when you're outta here we'll go out and make as many snowballs as we can and then throw them all at Darry. How's that sound?"
Pony grinned in spite of himself.
"You're crazy Soda, Darry'd skin me."
"Ok, how about Two-Bit?"
"Sounds good to me," Pony answered, cracking another grin. He was so exhausted at the moment, he knew it would be a long time before he could even think about having a snowball fight...but he wouldn't tell Soda that.
"Sounds good to me, too," Soda said, "How 'bout trying to get your strength back up first though, kiddo. I want you to try to eat something,"
Pony's smile faded. "Ow!" he flinched, realizing he had touched his arm in the spot where it was starting to turn black and blue from the catheter that held the IV.
"Careful of the IV, Pone," Soda said.
"When can I take it out?" Pony asked, frowning, "It's annoying."
"When the doctor says so," Soda sympathized, giving him a small smile, "Hey, don't move around too much. Here, wanna sit up? Let me help you."
Soda put a hand on his shoulder gently and then squashed a pillow behind his back, helping him lean forward.
"How do you feel now, kiddo? You ok?" Soda asked tentatively, remembering how dizzy Pony had been earlier. He brushed back some of his hair and Pony let him as no one else was in the room.
"Just real tired…" Pony trailed off.
"Well you look a lot better than you have the past few days," Soda said.
"Really?" Pony's face brightened at that, which made Soda grin from ear to ear. He felt sore, had a faint headache and a feeling of overall fatigue but nothing compared to even a day earlier. "Yeah, I feel ok," he nodded as if to make it so. "A little thirsty."
"I'm so glad," Soda said proudly, like his little brother had just received an acceptance into an Ivy League school. He was already pouring him a cup of water from the pitcher and adding a straw.
Soda angled the straw up to Pony's lips without a word and Pony was grateful that he didn't have to move his hands. Any small movement made him overcome with exhaustion. It didn't matter, though because Soda understood he needed someone to hold the cup up for him without Pony having to tell him. Soda always had the ability to understand what Pony needed without a word.
Happy that his brother had drained the glass, Soda took it away and shook it in front of him. "Just let me know if you want more, ok Pone?"
Pony nodded. Then his eyes wandered around the room.
"If you're looking for Two-Bit, he'll be back soon," Soda answered quickly.
"And Darry?" Pony looked confused, his eyebrows furrowed, "Where's he? Did he go get something to eat?" he asked innocently.
Soda gave him a funny look. "Pone…Darry went to work. You know that."
The grin Pony had worn on his face just moments earlier faded quickly.
"What? He can't roof in this weather!" Pony replied, genuinely concerned.
"No…" Soda said carefully, "He grabbed a few hours at the warehouse. He told you he was going before you went to sleep. Don't you remember?"
"He did?" Pony's face paled, because in all honesty, he didn't remember at all.
"Yeah, Pone," Soda said, trying to placate his little brother. "You told him to be careful because of the snow," he said.
"I don't remember saying any of that Soda!" Pony said worriedly.
"No big deal," Soda shrugged, though his words were much more confident then he felt, "You were probably just tired, you know? You conked out like a few minutes later," he said quickly.
Head pain, hearing loss, memory loss...those were all possible effects of meningitis. Soda had remembered the doctor saying that after they had taken Pony off the breathing tube. The doctor hadn't focused on it, and he hadn't really paid attention like he should have – he was more worried at the time about Pony actually waking up after being weaned off the sedation. And then there was the sepsis…
But he vaguely remembered Darry asking how likely these complications could be permanent but he hadn't really been listening, choosing instead to focus on his baby brother. Now he wished he had listened to the doctor more closely...or at least asked more questions. He'd have to ask Darry about it later.
Thankfully the same nurse that had helped change Pony's sheets earlier walked in right then, jarring Soda out of his daydream and giving him a great reason to change the subject. Soda could have kissed her.
"Ponyboy!" she said happily, "Good to see you up," Noticing signs of improvement, she put her hand on his forehead to check for a temperature, "Well, if you're running a fever, it's probably a low-grade one. Let's take your temperature, shall we?"
"100.3," she said, when they were done. "Not bad at all."
Soda spoke up. "I was thinking," he told the nurse, "Maybe we can find Pony here something to eat?"
"What a great idea!" she exclaimed, at the same moment that Pony was shaking his head.
"Soda…" he whined, "I'm not hungry."
Soda was nodding eagerly like a kid in a candy store. "Come on, Pone, I told you. You need to get your strength back up," he coaxed.
"Soda, I'm really not -"
"How about I go find you a nice cup of yogurt, Ponyboy," the nurse said.
"Got anything chocolate?" Soda asked the nurse, grinning and wagging his eyebrows at his brother.
"Tell you what," the nurse said, speaking directly to Ponyboy, "If you promise me you'll try to eat something, I'll see if I can scrounge up some chocolate pudding. How's that sound?"
"Sounds great" Soda jumped in. Thankfully, she didn't wait for Pony to answer before she was out the door.
Pony sighed heavily and sagged back against the pillow behind him. "Soda, he began, "I don't want to eat now. I'm not hungry…"
"Pony," Soda said, "I know you don't have much of an appetite. But it would be good to put something in your system. It will help you go home faster."
He cocked an eyebrow - that dandy trick that he had picked up from Two-Bit.
"Just try. Please? For me?" He pouted for a moment and then flashed that movie star grin of his. How could anyone say no to that?
"Ok, ok," Pony grumbled as the nurse walked back in with the chocolate pudding and a spoon and set it on his bedside table. Thankfully, she didn't stick around to watch him eat it.
Soda pulled up a chair and sat close. He was persistent -and annoying - until Pony relented and lamely clutched at the pudding cup and spoon with shaky fingers. Soda took off the wrapping for him, and kept himself from commenting - a difficult task - but he could see it was an effort for Pony to grasp the cup and hold the spoon up to his lips. Sadly, the taste wasn't as fulfilling as he had wanted it to be either. In fact, it tasted bitter.
After the second spoonful, he almost dropped the cup all over himself and then realized he had had enough.
"Sodapop," Pony said, feeling weighed down and bone weary. "It's just too much work. I'm tired," he revealed.
Sodapop looked at him and immediately had an idea.
"Don't worry, honey," he said, putting a hand on Pony's shoulder and squeezing gently, "I'll help you."
He took the plastic spoon and pudding cup out of Pony's hands, delicately, like they were made of gold, and proceeded to dip the spoon into the cup and feed him. "Open wide, kiddo," Soda said.
Pony turned his head away at the last minute. "Soda, you aren't serious!" he said bewilderedly.
"Awww, come on," Soda replied, "I've fed you plenty of times since you were little."
"No you haven't," Pony responded, his cheeks pink.
"Alright well I was there when mom did," he said.
Pony wanted to cross his arms but he couldn't for the IV.
"When did mom ever feed me?" Pony frowned, turning back to look at Soda.
"When you were little and you were sick," Soda replied, as if it was the most obvious answer in the world. "You don't remember? I remember it real well. It's like one of my first memories," he said, "I'll tell you all about it," he added, "But first, open up!"
"Aww, Soda quit mother henning me!" he replied, swallowing hard, "I'm not a baby."
Still, he opened his mouth reluctantly and took the pudding that Soda offered him.
"No," Soda grinned one of his award-winning smiles, "But you're my baby brother." He used that opportunity to feed him another spoonful.
Pony rolled his eyes.
"You were always mom's little baby," Soda said, trying to grin, but there was sadness in his eyes, "Boy, she hated when you were sick…cause you quit eatin'. She always made stuff to try and get you to eat. She made mushroom soup. Baked pies. You wouldn't touch a thing."
"Remember that time - I think you were like 4 - you had strep throat and wouldn't eat anything? Mom tried to feed you soup,"
"Sort of," Pony answered, trying to think back to the time, their childhood, where things always felt easier. "I remember spitting out that soup, though."
"Yeah, she tried EVERYTHING. I know, cause I was in the room when she did that. She asked me to try and convince ya,"
"Well did ya?" Pony asked.
"Nope," Soda smiled big, "You were always stubborn as a mule when you wanted to be. Even at 4 years old. Stubborn as a one trick pony."
"So what finally worked?" Ponyboy asked, between bites of the pudding. It still wasn't going down right.
"Oh, mom said she'd have to take you to the hospital. That she'd have to leave you there and they wouldn't let her see you. That did it. You always hated hospitals."
"Still do," Pony said, scowling as he looked around his drab room. He wanted so badly to get out of there.
"Yeah I know," Soda replied, putting a comforting hand on his shoulder.
Pony felt his eyes get hot. He wanted to swipe at them with his hand but he didn't want Soda to see. Soda noticed anyway, but didn't say anything.
There was a long pause. Finally, Pony spoke up.
"So what did I finally eat?" he asked.
"Mom finally went to rest – she'd been up with you all night when you couldn't sleep – and you told me you really wanted to eat because you were afraid to go to the hospital. So I got you some chocolate cake from the icebox. Well, it was too much for you too soon and you threw it all up."
Soda covered his face, slightly embarrassed in his charming Soda way.
"Oh yea…" Pony said, chuckling at the memory. "Way to go, Soda. You see what happens when I try to eat?"
"Yea, I'll think twice before I give you my chocolate cake again!" Soda laughed, "Funny that you remember that."
Pony only sort of remembered. He was 4-years old. Everything was hazy. He remembered his mother's golden hair. Her soothing voice. The way she smelled like freesias. The lullabies she would sing him to sleep.
The memories crashed over him like giant rocks of snow tumbling down the mountainside during an avalanche.
"Hey Soda?" Pony said, snapping out of his reverie.
"Yeah Pone?"
"You know strep throat is contagious right?"
"Yeah, I know. You don't remember how sick I got? I was sick for days! Mom had two babies on her hands…"
Pony didn't really remember, but he knew how Soda got when HE was sick. While Pony hated people fussing over him, when Soda was sick, it was the end of the world. He would lay there on his bed, hand dramatically draped over his forehead like he couldn't be bothered, but he would beg for everything under the sun. From Mom. From Dad. From Darry.
One thing Pony did remember was how guilty he felt for getting Soda sick, although it was Soda's own fault.
"Yeah, I remember…" Pony said.
"That's the last time I'm anywhere NEAR you when you're sick," Soda grinned one of his maddening grins, so Pony knew he was teasing.
"So what are you doing now then, huh?" Pony pouted.
"I'm feeding you poison!" Soda said, grinning even more wildly as he maneuvered the spoon around like an airplane.
Ponyboy had to smile at him. How could you not?
"You're out of your mind."
There was a pause and Pony suddenly frowned again, "I'm not contagious now, am I?"
He couldn't imagine watching his brothers go through what he had gone through the last few days.
Soda stopped what he was doing and got serious again. "They said you were in the beginning, but only the first 24 hours," But Pony continued to scowl, "Hey! Don't you worry about me and Darry. We're FINE! You just concentrate on getting better, alright Pone?"
Pony looked at him hard, "Soda, are you gonna tell me what happened to me in the last few days?"
"Sure, I will," Soda said genuinely. The look that Pony gave him showed Soda that he didn't believe it. "I will, I promise! But not now. I want you to start feeling better first."
Pony sighed, but didn't pursue the question.
Jarred back to reality, Soda looked down at the empty pudding cup in his hands. "Well would you look at that?" he said, his smile growing wider, "You finished the pudding!"
He shook the empty cup in front of Pony's face for effect.
"That doesn't mean I liked it," Pony retorted indignantly, his lip turned downwards like he was a child forced to eat Brussel sprouts. He sighed again, "I don't think my appetite is back to normal, Soda. It didn't taste right," he paused, trying to feel out his situation, "I don't think I got my energy back either," he added, sighing with exhaustion.
"But it will be," Soda said and Pony wondered how he was always so confident, "And at least you ate something. Maybe we'll try some soup later."
Soda wasn't as confident as he made it seem, but Pony didn't know that. And this wasn't about him – this was about nursing his baby brother back to help.
There was a crash outside the hospital room. Then the door swung open and Two-Bit walked in.
"Howdy Curtis," he said to Soda, "Baby Curtis," he nodded to Ponyboy, tipping his head like he was at the rodeo greeting another cowboy.
Pony's cheeks got pink again. It was obvious by the spoon in Soda's hand and the way he held up the pudding cup that Pony had been fed, and the thought of Two-Bit teasing him for it was not something he wanted right now.
"What's going on?" Two-Bit asked.
Too late. "I fed Pony his first pudding cup!" Soda exclaimed.
Pony glared at him for throwing him under the bus. Soda didn't catch on, of course.
Surprisingly, Two-Bit was nice about it. "Way to go, kid! You'll be outta here in no time." He came closer and ruffled Pony's hair - or what was left of it. "What, you didn't save any for me?" he joked.
"Two-Bit, there ain't enough pudding cups in the world to satisfy that stomach of yours," Soda replied.
"Maybe you can ask the nurse," Pony said innocently.
"I like the way you think, kid!" Two-Bit wagged his finger at him, "See, Soda, your brother has always been the smart one in the family. Even when he's sick."
"Don't I know it," Soda said proudly.
"Yeah, you're only saying that cause I just gave you a reason to talk to the pretty nurses," Pony quipped.
"Bingo!" Two-Bit said pointing a chubby finger at the kid. "You dig real good, Ponyboy,"
Pony frowned, annoyed that he was feeling tired again and wanted to sleep. But he dropped his heavy head back against the pillows and felt the effects of actual food inside his belly.
"What's with the face?" Two-Bit asked, getting Soda to turn and look at Pony, too.
"No face," Pony mumbled with a grimace, "Just tired again."
"Well, that's alright," Two-Bit said genuinely, "I just need you to get one of the pretty nurses in here before you drop off again, alright?" he joked.
"Leave 'im alone, Two-Bit," Soda said.
"Whaddya want me to say?" Pony asked him, though he really was starting to get drowsy.
"Ask 'em for more pudding cups, of course," Two-Bit responded.
"Sure," Pony responded, but he rubbed a hand over his eyes as they started to droop.
"Pony?" Soda asked, putting the empty cup over on the bedside table and sitting on the edge of the bed.
Pony's eyes had begun to close but he shook himself out of it, "I'm good," he said quickly.
"How you feelin', kid?" Two-Bit asked, and Soda was happy Two-Bit was asking instead of him, "Need any more of those feel good pills the nurses got hidin' in their skirts?" He watched Pony closely as he shook his head again. Pony's eyes were heavy and he was blinking to try to keep them open.
"Pony," Soda said, turning around where he sat so that he was sitting next to Pony instead of across from him. He leaned over and looped his arm around his brother's shoulders. "I think you need rest, kiddo."
Pony sighed and leaned on Soda's chest. "I'm tired of sleeping…Can't I do something else for a change?" he grumbled, but then his voice trailed off, just as Soda leaned back on the bed, letting Pony get comfortable. His eyes closed.
"...couldn't remember that you had left. It was scary," Pony heard Soda's voice murmur in a harsh whisper. His body felt heavy as he lay curled up against Soda's chest, but his eyes felt heavier.
"You sure it wasn't just the medicine? It's strong," a new voice said. It was deeper, like the rumble of a car engine. Hard. Controlled. Darry.
Darry? When did Darry get here? Pony thought sleepily. It felt like he had leaned against Soda and closed his eyes just a minute ago.
"Glory, Dar," Soda said, and his voice uneasy, "I don't think it was the medicine. You remember what the doctor said. Memory loss is a side effect."
The grumble in Darry's voice was clear, "Yea, he also said it's usually temporary," he said. "That's what the doctor SAID, Soda. So let's hope that's all that was."
That was Darry for ya. Realistic as all get out. If the doctor said…
There was a pause. Then Darry again. "Soda, stop looking so worried. It's probably nothing. Besides, he's sleeping now. That's a good thing." Pony shifted and he felt Darry's hand carefully touch his head, the palm surprisingly warm although he knew his brother had been out in the snow. It made him start drifting off again. And then Soda was rubbing his back soothingly and it was so hard to stay awake. He struggled, but he managed to do it, though he kept his eyes closed. He was floating, somewhere between reality and dreamland. His mind honed in on the conversation but his body was so tired.
"It's probably nothing," Darry said again, like he was only trying to convince himself. "He's probably just still out of it."
I'm not! Pony wanted to shout, but his mouth felt dry, like there was cotton stuck inside. Soda's arm went tighter around him.
Soda bit his lip. Pony felt his weight shift as he seemed to suddenly perk up.
"I got him to eat!" he exclaimed Pony could hear the pride in Soda's voice as he spoke and he wanted to laugh.
"How'd you manage that?" Darry asked, and Pony wondered if he was smiling, too.
Soda shrugged, "I convinced the nurse to bring him chocolate instead of yogurt," he said.
"Soda..." Pony heard Darry tsk, "You didn't think for one second that maybe he should have had something a little more - I don't know - healthy?
"Well, I wanted him to eat, Darry!" Soda replied, his voice high. Darry's the only one that could make Soda get defensive like that, Pony thought. "He wasn't going to otherwise."
"And he ate it all?" Darry asked.
"He did. But he had a hard time," Soda replied, "He said it was too much work. Probably it was. He's exhausted. I fed it to him eventually..."
The room was completely silent for a moment and if Pony hadn't felt Soda's around him, he would have thought that both of his brothers had left the room. Then Soda spoke up again.
"Hey Darry, you remember when Mom used to feed Pony when he was sick and quit eatin'?"
"Yea, I remember," Darry piped up after a few minutes.
"Well, I reminded him about that to get him to eat. I think it worked," Soda said.
"Soda," Darry began, "You know you can get Pony to do just about anything."
Pony's nose twitched at the admission. He didn't know whether to be annoyed at Darry or to agree with him.
"I couldn't do that," Darry spoke up suddenly, and Pony had to strain to hear him, "You know he'd eat if you asked him to, even if it was baloney. He wouldn't do that for me. You remember when Johnny and Dally passed away." Darry says suddenly, "He wouldn't eat. I couldn't get him to eat ANYTHING. Remember that? He said everything tasted like baloney."
Soda's face paled at the comment. He didn't know what to say, except that Darry had got it kind of wrong. In the days following Johnny and Dally's death, when Ponyboy had been confined to bed rest following his time in the hospital, Pony had eventually confessed to Soda why he couldn't stomach baloney when he asked, even though he couldn't remember what all he had said when he was delirious. But it was a private conversation between the two of them, one that had made both of them emotional at the time. Soda would never reveal its contents to Darry without Pony's permission. Especially with Pony laying right next to him.
"Darry," he began, still trying to make Darry feel better, "He was delirious. You know that. He didn't know what he was saying..."
"Our kid brother's got one wild imagination, Soda. I'll give him that," Darry muttered, "But...he knew what he was saying."
Pony gave a start, shocked by Darry's comment. He felt a dull pain and shifted harder against Soda, forcing himself to wake up.
"Darry?" Pony looked over at his older brother, whose hard ice-blue eyes softened when he saw his brother awake. Pony noticed he looked tired. And a little sad.
"Ponyboy," Darry said, "You ok?" He leaned over and put his hand on Pony's right shoulder, which jutted out as the other side of his body was now swallowed up in Soda's chest. He carefully turned back around so he was facing his oldest brother, Sodapop on his right.
"I think so," Pony said tentatively, as if he didn't know how he should answer that question. He was tired and sore; unfortunately laying against his skinny middle brother wasn't as comfortable as he had hoped it would be.
"Darry," Pony began, feeling Soda rubbing his back. It was comforting and he knew he had to get the words off his chest as soon as possible, "Last time I was in the hospital...there was a reason I said everything tasted like baloney."
Darry stiffened. "You...You heard what we were saying?" Pony nodded and he felt Soda's warm hand on the back of his neck, urging him to continue.
"I-I don't remember saying everything tastes like baloney in the hospital," he told Darry, "But I know why I would say it."
"You kept saying you didn't like it. Every time we tried to give you something to eat," Darry hesitated, waiting for Ponyboy to say something, or at least cut the awkward tension that suddenly overpowered the room, "Even when we got home and you were getting better. You wouldn't eat a thing."
"Johnny and I...when we were up in Windrixville...staying in that abandoned church," Pony knew that Darry was aware of that part of the story, but continued knowing the next part would surprise him. "All we ate for a week were baloney sandwiches. Peanut butter...candy bars...and baloney sandwiches...They made me sick after a while. I started to hate them," Pony explained, "Couldn't look at them after a while. Don't know if I'll be able to ever again," he said his face scrunching up in disgust.
Darry's eyes were wide, but understanding. He couldn't find the words though, so he let Pony continue.
"So it wasn't you," Pony said in a soft voice, "It's not like I refused it because it was from you. It wasn't anybody. I didn't even know what I was saying... " he trailed off.
"But yeah, that's why i would say something like that," Pony added.
"Yea, well, I wouldn't blame you if you had. I've been too hard on you, huh kiddo?," Darry choked out, surprising everyone, including himself, with an outpouring of regret, "I'm always pushing you...to get better grades...use your head...do things you don't want to do,"
"Darry..." Soda said, "This ain't right. Come on, we talked about this already. Pony knows you want what's best for him."
Pony opened and closed his mouth a few times but no words came out. He dropped his gaze.
"You know it is, Soda," Darry balked, "How many times have you told me I need to lay off? That
I push him too hard..."
Darry stopped and stared at Pony, his blue eyes pleading with his brother to understand him.
"You know I'm just trying to protect you, Pony, but it comes out all wrong."
Pony looked up at him, and Darry wished his eyes didn't look so worn out.
"Darry - it's not like that -"Pony said, "You saved me, Darry. Going to the doctor saved me and you leaving the truck to find help saved me...and I think...if we had stayed at home, well, who knows what would have happened to me if we couldn't get to the hospital. Right? It was bad, right? I felt so sick. Maybe I wouldn't even be alive now if it wasn't for you."
The blood drained from his brother's faces at the thought.
"I know you just want what's best for me, Darry," Pony choked out, echoing Soda, his voice welling up with emotion."I get it."
Darry didn't speak, afraid that his own emotions would get the best of him. His eyes, however, spoke for him as the two pieces of pale blue-green ice softened with Pony's words. Darry was tough and smart, but suddenly he didn't look older than twenty anymore - just a guy worried about his kid brother.
Pony shifted away from Soda, sitting up just a little too quickly and crying out in pain before his brothers knew what was happening.
"Pony!" Soda called out as Darry leaned over in concern.
"Pony, are you ok?" Darry asked. Pony turned towards him and reached for Darry's hand. The one that was there to lift him out of the snow. Grip him tightly when he felt unsteady. Squeeze his shoulder when he was having a nightmare. Push his hair back when he was sick.
The hand that was there to catch him when he fell.
The one that was always there.