Unravel

by Homer's Disciple

Shinji rejected Instrumentality, but he made so many mistakes. He has one last chance to set things right, to unravel everything and save what matters. A retelling or altering of the series, an altered version of Shinji with an altered past. Life takes a different path, but do all paths lead to the same destination? Is Shinji doomed to never know happiness?

53. Those Who Remain

Hey guys, back again.
First, just wanted to say thanks to everyone who reviewed lately. It means a lot and I really do appreciate it. It's phenomenal to know that people actually like what I write. Thanks for the support!

This isn't an action chapter; it's a character drama and it took me a long time to get it where I was happy with it. Due to its length, use the headers to read in pieces if needed.

Here's Chapter 53: "Those Who Remain."

---

"Mari and Rei… gone…

We're the only ones left."

– Asuka Langley Sohryu speaking to Shinji Ikari.

---

Part 1: Recovery

"Mom."

That was the first word she said in what seemed like hours. And with those words came the release of a breath she hadn't known she had been holding. A release of pent-up oxygen that had gathered amid the chaos and insanity that had come before.

Asuka sat in the cockpit of the Entry Plug, safely sealed away within her Evangelion.

Unit 02 itself knelt in the middle of nowhere. The red titan had been 'awakened' and breathed out slowly, nearly panting. The machine wasn't just a machine… it was alive in a sense. She saw that now. Her Eva was moving and acting all on its own, moving to protect her from harm.

She shook slightly, breathing heavily now that she remembered how to. The events that had led her here all came flooding back to her now that it was 'over'.

She had been a cog in a machine that she had no knowledge of. A piece of someone else's puzzle. Part of the game that the adults had been playing for who knows how long.

Shinji had known. The boy had known far more than she had. He had known that Nerv couldn't be trusted anymore. The boy had known the cult that had kidnapped her and him both.

Asuka couldn't say that she understood it all… but she knew that the end of the world had been at hand. She'd been made a prisoner inside her own Eva, forced to watch as some ritual had played out, unable to act, unable to pilot and break free, as an Angel unlike any other had been summoned.

She had felt every cell in her body shiver at the Angel's arrival. A terror that she had never known at that… that thing's presence. She had tried and tried to pilot, anything to break free and save Shinji…

Then the Eva had moved all on its own. Unit 02 had awoken with a roar, and she had felt a presence in the cockpit with her. A protective phantom that reached for her as if the Eva had been trying to sync with her instead of the other way around. Unit 02 had spoken. And Asuka knew.

"Mom…" she whispered for a second time.

She knew that her mother was there with her. A protective presence seemingly from beyond the grave. One that had taken hold of her Eva and fought with a primal rage to save her. It had even tried to take on the Angel that the cult had summoned.

That Angel… it wasn't like the others… stronger than any we ever faced…

She remembered her Eva charging towards the strange humanoid and pale figure. She remembered her shock and awe as with a single wave of its hand, the Angel had sent Unit 02 flying backward. She had been safe in her cockpit, held in place by her harness, but her Eva had known it could not defeat the Angel. It had run off abandoning the conflict altogether.

All to protect her.

Asuka ran a hand slowly across the disconnected controls. She almost felt a sync rate come. Like a phantom limb reaching out to connect with her pre-existing nerve endings. In her mind's eye, she saw her mother standing protectively over her, a defiant figure letting nothing and no one cross.

"… you saved me… mom… how…" she whispered.

The presence alongside her in the Eva stirred. It was a distant thing held forever back by the smallest of gaps, incomplete somehow, running on instinct, never quite able to reach out and grab her.

"AHHHHHHHHH" – Unit 02 growled. The Eva stirred of its own accord once more, baring its teeth and moving with heavy sluggish movements.

Asuka blinked in surprise. The emergency power had run out some time ago, yet Unit 02 refused to sleep. It stirred out here in the wilds in-between the fortress that she had escaped from and the outskirts of the city nearby.

A voice called out on a megaphone. Loud and hesitant. An adult speaking anxiously into the device and absolutely terrified.

"Pilot Sohryu. Stand down."

Unit 02 moved to gaze upon the newcomers. Asuka saw through the barely functioning displays, she saw the small array of Humvees driving onto the scene. Armored trucks with their guns pointed off to the side and clearly unmanned.

JSSDF….

Asuka gasped, flinching as she remembered the sight of the Japanese military invading Nerv HQ and even managing to disable her Eva. Horror filled her chest and she felt vomit beginning to travel up her throat.

I… I killed people… the military… they made me… I had to… I killed real people…

She stopped herself from throwing up. Now wasn't the time. She still didn't have the whole story. She had no comm unit, no phone, no way of contacting the outside world. She still couldn't pilot her Eva, and she had no idea what had happened to Shinji.

"AHHHHHH!" Unit 02 roared in a rage. Seemingly in response to her memories and emotions. She felt Unit 02's fury over what she had been through. The Eva bared its teeth like fangs and rose to a standing position fuming like a cornered animal. Violence threatening to escape its colossal frame.

The JSSDF immediately slowed. The convoy of Humvees frantically spreading out and keeping their distance.

"Stand down! Pilot Sohryu! JSSDF! We're here to rescue you! The Battalion Commander orders you to disable the Eva and exit immediately!"

The voice boomed out from a megaphone in one of the military trucks.

Asuka had no way of responding even if she'd wanted to. She sat there in the cockpit, not knowing what to do. She couldn't stay here forever… where was Ritsuko? Misato? She wasn't sure if she trusted the JSSDF… they invaded Nerv… but Gendo… Gendo had ordered her to kill Shinji. Nerv hadn't been innocent either…

It was all a mess. She was lost in a bigger picture with no answers in sight.

"Stand down!" the JSSDF called again.

Unit 02 remained on its feet, breathing out into the open air. It was awake and glared at the tiny soldiers that kept their distance shouting orders. The Eva was weak from its battles, running on fumes and instinct, but more than a match for the JSSDF.

They stayed like that for what seemed like an hour. The JSSDF watching from a distance with their engines running, the Eva glaring down at them as if daring them to come closer. A protective titan that would allow none to reach the pilot inside.

Suddenly, a helicopter emerged from the skies above. A single aircraft came to a stop just behind the armored trucks and landed. A figure exited the helicopter and began walking forward. Just like that. No fear at all.

Asuka watched through the display, watched through what her Eva's eyes saw, as the figure began to approach all by himself. The man was dressed in slacks and a dress shirt. He carried with him another megaphone.

"Hey, kiddo. A lot has happened. But I need you to get the Eva back under control. Unit 02 is scaring everyone, and we'd really appreciate it if you could stand down."

The voice hit Asuka with a jolt of surprise and a wave of relief came crashing over her. It filled her lungs and calmed her nerves.

Kaji!

The man stood out past the JSSDF trucks and helicopter, speaking into the megaphone calmly and carefully. Cool even now, with an Evangelion staring him down.

Asuka tried the controls. They didn't work. Whatever the cult had done, they hadn't intended for her to pilot.

Kaji began to walk forward with his hands raised. He walked forward alone, striding past the gathered soldiers, and headed for Unit 02.

The Eva snarled and turned sluggishly towards him. It moved its heavy and weak limbs ready to pounce on the foe that dared approach.

"No!" Asuka shouted.

She panicked and grabbed the controls frantically. The Eva seemed to grow even angrier at her panic, it snarled and began to lumber forward. The earth shook as the red titan moved once more and thunderous stomps rang out. The JSSDF scrambled backward, the trucks reversing and the helicopter moving to take off again.

Kaji only froze in his tracks as Unit 02 moved for him.

"NO!" Asuka shouted. She took a deep breath and placed her hand across the controls once again. She forced herself to remember all the times that Kaji had helped her.

Kaji. Kaji. He's a good man. He helped me. Don't hurt him… don't hurt him… don't hurt him…

She reached out as if trying to form a sync rate even without all the equipment. She reached her thoughts out again and again. Finally, almost reluctantly, Unit 02 stopped.

The Evangelion knelt to a sitting position and carefully craned its neck down. It didn't want to let her go. Asuka felt the Eva lingering over her, the presence. It, whatever it was, hesitated as if it was asking her if she would be okay.

It was pure insanity… but she knew what she felt. Her mother was here with her. Here inside Unit 02.

"… I'll be okay… I trust him," she whispered aloud.

The Entry Plug was released with a hiss of compressed air. Asuka braced herself and the metal tube landed onto the surface with a heavy thud. She forced herself up and out of her cockpit, using the manual release to open the bay doors.

She found Kaji waiting for her outside.

"You alright?" Kaji said, moving to help her out of the Entry Plug. He offered her his hand. She took it and let herself be dragged outside and onto the surface in an almost daze-like state. She felt like she was in a dream, finally… a friendly face. Someone that she knew she could trust.

"I'm fine… Shinji? Is he-"

"He's alive. We got him," Kaji answered.

Alive! Alive… is he hurt?

Seeing the look on her face, Kaji continued saying, "he's being looked at. Right now, I'm worried about you."

Asuka nodded and only then took in the sight off in the distance. The ruins of what had once been the cult's fortress. Her former prison. It was crumbling wreckage now, with burns littering what remained of its standing buildings.

She turned to the gathered JSSDF nearby, watching hesitantly. So, the military was back on their side now. What in the world had happened?

Even Kaji was different. His playful mood was gone, and though he kept his cool, she saw a weight behind his eyes that she had never noticed before. It was like she was seeing a side of him she'd never known existed, grim and tired. His eyes lightened at the sight of her. She hadn't been hurt. Not physically at least. And that fact seemed to relieve him.

Kaji put his hand on her shoulder, and she let him. "Come on kiddo-, Asuka, it's a long story. Let's get you out of here," he said.

---

JSSDF Base.

Kaji got Asuka to the military hospital the moment they arrived. She protested but he saw to it that she was given a full medical examination. He wasn't taking chances, not now, not with what these kids had been through.

Somehow throughout the entire Angel War, the adults at Nerv and the world had deluded themselves that the Eva pilots weren't child soldiers. Now the lie was shattered, and no matter how hard they had tried to deny it, the casualties spoke for themselves.

Kaji was no innocent in the affair. He acknowledged that and lived with it. Misato had tried to give Shinji and Asuka a sense of normalcy, but that had been a lie too. A beautiful lie that he wished he could have indulged just a little longer.

When Asuka was given a clean bill of health, he arranged a change of clothes for her, some food, and he managed to get her a private room. He sat beside her as she ate, scarfing down her first meal in more than 24 hours, he let her have that. He let her have the normalcy of a meal before he told her the truth.

He saw himself in Asuka as he debriefed her, he saw himself as the abandoned child wandering the streets, homeless and alone in the wake of his parent's death, as her eyes widened from revelation after revelation.

He didn't go into every detail; he gave her the big picture. It had left her in shock to learn so much at long last. The conspiracy that had led to the Angel War, Nerv and SEELE's involvement, the battle between Gendo and Keel, his own work as a spy to undermine them both, etc.

When she learned the truth behind Shinji himself, she only stared open-mouthed at him. By the end, she didn't have words. Misato's injuries, Mari's death, the truth behind Rei, the Hybrid… all of it. It was so much to take in.

He sat with her, letting her process it all.

"… Shinji was working with you…" she said at last.

"He was," Kaji answered.

"That's how he knew… he knew that Nerv couldn't be trusted after… after the final Angel…" Asuka whispered to herself slowly.

Kaji nodded.

"Gendo told you one story. But he was wrong. It's not an Angel in the boy's head. Not really. He never understood his son. Either of them. The boy? He's still human for the most part. He's still Shinji. The Other is… I'm not sure what he is anymore. I doubt even he knows completely. We have to keep that a secret, but I thought you deserved to know," Kaji explained.

"Two… two… but how… Shinji… our Shinji… Where is he? You said you got him? They… SEELE… they were beating him! They used me to make him talk and-"

Kaji held up a hand to calm her down.

"He's still in surgery. There was a bullet in his chest that never healed properly. And the beatings only made things worse. It's a miracle he was even standing when he was rescued. He's under the best care. We need the Eva Pilots more than ever, so don't worry."

"Surgery," Asuka mouthed quietly to herself.

Kaji rose from his seat on the hospital bed beside her. He wished they had more time, but he still had a job to do.

"Take some time to process this. Try and sleep if you can. There's a lot going on. And we're going to need you in the days ahead. I'll come to check up on you later," Kaji said.

Asuka looked like she wanted to say more, but she nodded.

She trusted him and he was grateful for that. Damn, he must have been one of the only friendly faces she'd seen since everything went to hell. He gave her a tired but reassuring smile. If only what came next would be so easy. He let her have the room.

---

Part 2: The Devil

Interrogation cell.

Kaji stared ahead at the prisoner with cold almost lifeless eyes. His face was an expressionless mask as he sat across from quite possibly the single most evil human in the history of mankind as a species.

Kaji's boss, Director Ginoza sat beside him.

Together both men sat silently as the prisoner struggled to even breathe. An oxygen tank had been set up and a doctor had already treated the worst of the prisoner's wounds. The tank hissed audibly as its user basked in the air, relishing the chance to breathe properly after the damage he had sustained.

Keel Lorenz sat across from them, handcuffed, wheezing slightly, dressed in the plain orange colors of an inmate, and far calmer than a prisoner had any right to be. SEELE's leader himself held captive.

"Is this really- ough-" Keel wheezed. The elderly man stopped momentarily to take in more air from the oxygen tank, audibly breathing in the life-sustaining substance.

Kaji scowled inwardly, his face a perfect mask of detached observation on the outside.

"Necessary," Keel finished, having filled his lungs once again.

SEELE's leader raised his withered hands and the handcuffs locking him in place to the chair rattled loudly.

"Standard procedure," Kaji answered simply.

Keel turned his beady almost non-existent eyes to him. Without his visor, the man's face looked cracked and faded, with eyes that nearly disappeared within the wrinkles of aged skin. Soft wrinkles, the face of a man who had never worked a day in their life, and yet still succumbed to the fallings of age.

"Mr. Kaji? Ah, the street rat who rose all the way to the Intelligence Agencies. I must admit, I severely underestimated you. I thought you merely another pawn. Ough. I apologize for such a mistake," Keel said, his voice low and muffled. Even now, the elderly aristocrat wheezed inhaling deeply from the oxygen tank.

Hell, Shinji had a mean right hook. Wish I'd been there to see it. I'd have probably joined in, Kaji thought coolly. The bruise along Keel's face was still fresh and clearly visible even after the military doctors had treated the wound.

Kaji didn't react and neither did his boss. Both sat silently as Keel tried to prattle on, digging into those around him and seeing what he could twist. Here, Keel found nothing to work with. The time for cruel little games was over.

"We have enough evidence to charge you with any number of international crimes, Mr. Keel," Director Ginoza said. The spy leader speaking for the first time.

Kaji joined in adding: "you're going to spend your last days in prison. In the deepest darkest cell that we can find. Humph, the other nations will want a crack at you too."

Keel smiled coldly at them. Even now, after all this, the man had no fear. Humans? They did not frighten Keel Lorenz. Kaji hated him for that and so much more.

"Come now. We both- ough know that- ough you're here to make a deal. One that I am only too happy to oblige," Keel wheezed softly. His cool demeanor somewhat weakened by the reliance on medical assistance to even breathe.

Kaji felt his blood rising but kept his cool. The bastard was right, and everyone knew it. There were days where Kaji despised his job.

"Are you now? You seem awfully willing to sell out your former brothers and sisters," Director Ginoza said.

Keel wheezed saying, "business is business. One does not survive long in my world without seeing the truth of the matter. Friends? There is no such thing. People do what they must in order to survive. Isn't that right, Mr. Kaji? They even- ough scavenge for food. They steal. They join gangs. They commit acts of violence upon-"

"Are you done?" Kaji interrupted flatly. It was to be expected. The moment he started getting closer to SEELE, Kaji knew that he and his past would be investigated.

Keel's gaze lingered on him. Kaji smirked inwardly and didn't show his satisfaction openly. That in and of itself made it sweeter. Keel Lorenz was a man not used to being interrupted.

"Names. We want names and their accounts. Everything you know about the others. We want SEELE and all their members," Director Ginoza said.

The leader of spies slid paper and pen across the table gently, letting them slip into the frail hands of SEELE's mastermind.

Keel's aged face grew still, and the almost non-existent eyes turned cold. Keel Lorenz wasn't used to being someone other than the most powerful man in the room and it showed.

"In return for?" Keel asked coolly.

"Maybe we'll find you a better cell after all. One with air conditioning."

Keel had no response to that.

Kaji watched as Keel sat there in silence glancing down at the paper and pen. Until finally, Keel looked at them, his little games put to rest at long last, and spoke.

"We both know this isn't your priority. There is a bigger threat to contend with."

"Names," Kaji said flatly.

Keel regarded him evenly.

"I could not control Adam and Lilith. That dark god walks the Earth and I witnessed it speak. The Hybrid knows only hate and it will kill us all. Why are we wasting our time on-"

"Are you agreeing to help us?" Director Ginoza said suddenly.

Keel grew silent. His ego seething as he was interrupted again.

"Help us, help yourself. When the Hybrid decides to 'kill us all' that means you die too. From the reports, I imagine they have a special punishment for you. You should see what they did to Gendo Ikari. That truly is a fate worse than death," Ginoza continued.

Keel stared silently at them.

"Oh. That's right. You didn't know. Gendo's alive. His organs were crushed by the Hybrid personally. It left him a gift. He gets to live on in agony for what he did to them. If you're lucky, they won't hold a grudge and you'll die with the rest of us," Kaji said.

Keel stared ahead wordlessly, shocked by the revelation.

"Your little fortress can't help us here. Just more evidence for the investigation. But your technology? Your supplies? What must it have taken to build the MP Evas? If we're to stand a chance against the Hybrid then our Evangelions are going to need repairs. Nerv is in ruins. That leaves us with few options," Kaji continued.

Keel wheezed, taking in the oxygen. The man's hands gave him away. They were trembling.

"I can provide you with the location of labs, depots, warehouses. Everything you need to repair Nerv's surviving Eva Units," Keel admitted slowly.

"Names first," Director Ginoza said, tapping the paper and pen.

Keel scowled. "You realize that if the Hybrid isn't stopped then none of this matters."

"You want to survive? No, that's not your kind. You want more. You want to live. You want to spend the rest of your days as comfortable as possible. We can arrange that. And the war? The price for our help in ending the war you started is the names," Director Ginoza said.

"Cooperate with the investigation. Help us, help yourself," Kaji said, parroting his boss's words.

Keel narrowed his aged almost non-existent eyes at them, before relenting. SEELE's leader picked up the pen and paper, sliding them over to Kaji.

"My vision has degraded to the point that I can no longer read and write without assistance. Let us finish this quickly, we have a bigger threat to consider. One that even our infamous time traveler struggled with," Keel said.

"The traveler will remain classified. You are never to mention his existence," Director Ginoza said flatly.

Keel paused at that. A cold smirk appearing on his lips.

"Very well," Keel said, agreeing to the terms.

Director Ginoza pulled a recording device from his pocket and began recording the audio. They gave their names for the 'official' Agency records and began. One day, when a proper trial with a proper legal system handling the details, the records would be useful. For now, with the fate of the world at stake, a deal was made prematurely. A deal that would see the worst of the criminals given the lightest sentence of them all.

Keel recited the names. SEELE's leader gave up his former brothers and sisters as casually as he would order a glass of wine at a restaurant.

Keel admitted his crimes and fully detailed his co-conspirators. The truth about the Angel War, and the manipulation and use of soft power to get the UN to approve of the Eva Programs. As well as the formation of Nerv outside of military jurisdiction.

Kaji transcribed the information as well. He wrote the real names of SEELE's various members, their bank account numbers, where they hid their money, who had been in their collective pocket, how they had bribed and exerted influence around the world.

Then came the locations of SEELE's infrastructure. The supply lines and technology that had allowed for the creation of the Mass Production Evangelion Units. Resources that could be converted and re-used to repair the damage done to Nerv's Evangelion Units.

Once they were done, Kaji and his boss rose to their feet. They wordlessly headed for the exit as Keel watched them go.

"One more thing," Keel said suddenly.

Kaji and Ginoza stopped and looked back at the prisoner patiently.

"That troublesome boy is in your care. I want an apology," Keel said, the bruise on his face visible for all to see. The oxygen tank and its audible chirm a constant reminder of the damage done to his frail and aging body.

"No," Kaji said.

Before Keel could respond, the spies exited the room and left the prisoner alone.

…

Outside.

Kaji turned in his records as his boss did the same. The deal was done. The agency would move forward with the agreement, all in the name of their newfound cooperation. A bond of necessity forged by the looming threat of Adam and Lilith. The survival of Mankind brought about strange bedfellows.

Kaji felt like showering after sharing the same air as the monster known as Keel Lorenz. He leaned against a wall on the outside, smoking a cigarette to soothe the rising sense of bitterness that ran through him. His boss had no such issues. Director Ginoza was no stranger to deals with the devil and the man had parted ways going on with his business without a second thought.

We'll get them. All of them now.

Kaji had never fully expected to see the day. SEELE defeated and humbled. Betrayed and traded in by the group's leader in the end. Somehow fitting.

He was still mulling that thought over when it happened. A sudden noise that jolted into existence and stole the attention of every living thing stationed in the military base.

WHOOSH.

BOOM.

The sound was deafening and roared long and loud.

Kaji whirled. All around him, people did the same. Soldiers going about their business. Supply trucks driving into the base. And all manner of support staff for the JSSDF and their base. He spotted Ritsuko emerging from one of the many buildings as the sound came.

CRACK.

A sonic boom erupted into existence overhead and people involuntarily stepped back. Soldiers began calling for people to get inside. Shouts came to sound the alarms. Something was coming and whatever it was, it surpassed the speed of sound itself. It rippled as the shock waves scattered the clouds above them.

The object had completely bypassed the JSSDF's radar and other sensors without detection.

We'll see it before we hear it, Kaji thought. His mind raced with unpleasant possibilities. The Hybrid? More MP Evas? Either one of them was the end. The Evangelions were still being transported and the pilots wouldn't have time to get them.

A massive object tore through the sky collapsing clouds in its wake before coming to a hover above the entire military base. The object dwarfed every single plane in the JSSDF's arsenal, it cast a shadow over the huddled cluster of buildings but did not fall. It stood at rest over them all with no visible means of propulsion or power source.

Sure enough, only after the object came to a stop did the sound of an explosion come roaring over them like thunder from God himself. The sonic boom rang out overhead and made their ears ring.

What in the world? Kaji thought. He flinched involuntarily, bringing his hands up to cover his face, even from his spot on the ground.

A long red metallic spear. It was mostly intact, with small thin lines littering its body along with strange markings. As if the metal had been dented and disfigured, then hammered and twisted back into its rightful place.

Kaji swore quietly as he realized what it was. He turned to Ritsuko and saw her staring unblinkingly at the object floating in the sky.

The Spear of Longinus had returned. The original one. Not one of the pale imitations that Keel and SEELE had invested billions to manufacture. The alien forged metal that was as old as the Angels themselves. Made by hands that were not human.

Footsteps sounded off behind him as Battalion Commander, and now acting General, Hashi stormed out of a building wearing a set of military fatigues. Hashi demanded to know what the hell was going on. The man was moments away from evacuating the base and calling in airstrikes against the object in the sky.

"Stand down! If it was hostile, you'd know," Kaji said, grabbing Hashi by the shoulder.

Hashi glared at him. This was a man of rationality, of tactics and strategy, of wars waged by men, the business with the Angels and their kind played by different rules entirely.

"How do you know that?" Hashi said, his expression dour. He didn't dismiss Kaji, he stood weary at this new development, but he listened demanding to know more.

"Look," Kaji said.

The Spear of Longinus was moving. The red metal drifted down heading for a cleared-out airfield at the far end of the base. The Spear came to a stop landing face down atop the surface with a gentle tap despite its enormous size and sheer mass.

"What is that thing?!" Hashi demanded.

Damn you, Gendo. He never shared Nerv intel with the JSSDF, Kaji thought.

"This will take some explaining," Kaji said calmly. He spotted Ritsuko running over to join them as Hashi glared back at where the Spear had landed. Good, he'd need her help with this.

---

Later.
Meeting room.

"You couldn't have warned us? Nearly gave the acting General a heart attack. All of us for that matter," Kaji said.

He and Ritsuko had already briefed acting General Hashi. It had taken more than an hour but when all was said and done, the Spear was placed under the protection of the JSSDF. Another tool in the Evangelion's arsenal. It was a miracle to actually get the damned thing back.

"There wasn't time. I had to grab it before the enemy did. It'll obey."

"Where was it?" Ritsuko asked. Pure relief washed over her face as the facts settled in. They had the Spear of Longinus back on their side. That changed everything.

"Far away. It was damaged from the battle. It had to repair itself."

"It can do that?" Ritsuko said, her expression turned momentarily curious. The scientist in her poked its head out. Over and over again, the nature of these creations, these tools of the First Ancestral Race surprised them and broke their understanding of matter and energy.

"Apparently," Kaji said. He understood why most of the military disliked the Angel War.

The Broken Man nodded. He seemed disinterested in explaining the how altogether, and right now, Kaji agreed. It wasn't important. They had bigger issues to discuss.

Together, the three of them had met in a conference room that the JSSDF had been forced to give up. Joint ventures were always a strange mix of jurisdiction, but for once, with everything that was on the line, there were no complaints.

"What happened with Keel?" the Broken Man rasped weakly.

Kaji turned to him, turned to the wounded figure seated in a wheelchair. The Broken Man wore the simple white garments of a hospital patient, with bandages over large portions of his upper body and even parts of his face. He had suffered burns from the blowback effect of using all his power to face the Hybrid. His organs had been damaged by the error in the Angel network that had been SEELE's failed ritual.

The time traveler appeared to have aged another ten years since the assault on SEELE. Weary and worn down. The consequences of having his own flesh and blood once more. A price to be paid for using his powers so frequently.

"We made the deal. He gave them up," Kaji answered coldly.

The Broken Man nodded. It seemed he had expected nothing less from SEELE's leader.

"He actually agreed to everything?" Ritsuko asked in disbelief.

"Didn't have a choice. It's who he is. Survival at all costs, with a few creature comforts," Kaji scoffed.

"The Evas? How soon can we get what we need-" Ritsuko began.

"Already on it. We have teams bringing everything here. We're gonna need every advantage we can get," Kaji cut in.

"I'll need support. Get me as much as my old staff as you can," Ritsuko said, her voice unsettled but firm. The days ahead weren't going to be easy.

"We'll get them. Anyone healthy enough to work, will," Kaji said matter-of-factly. His boss had already briefed the highest levels of the government and a state of emergency had been declared. Foreign aid was even being brought in to assist with whatever Japan needed.

"How long do we have?" Kaji asked the Broken Man.

"Days. Weeks. Months maybe."

Kaji cursed quietly. "No timetables? There's nothing you can do? Track the Hybrid somehow?"

"They hide from me. And in my state, I think it's better to let them. They won't come yet. Not until they heal. They were hurt as much as I was."

Kaji paused as the Broken Man coughed and the sheer sickening sound of it surprised him. Blood… the Broken Man had coughed blood. No matter what else this 'thing' was, no matter his powers, he was still partially bound to a human body. One that was aged and so very mortal.

Ritsuko moved to help him, looking for tissues or else something to give him. She tried to feel his forehead, but he shrugged her off with a flicker of annoyance.

"I'll be fine," the Broken Man rasped.

Kaji noted that his vocal cords were at times still strained and hoarse. Their time traveler had never fully recovered from returning to his original body, and everything that had followed continued to take its toll.

"No, you won't," Ritsuko said, her face filled with concern.

The Broken Man breathed in deeply, ignoring her words. She didn't let him avoid the subject.

"You can't keep doing this. Your body can't take it."

Ritsuko said what they were all thinking, almost harshly, but the concern never left her face.

Kaji noted that she really had changed since switching sides. Or rather, she'd re-discovered who she had been before she'd joined Nerv. The person that he and Misato had befriended in college.

He'd always liked Ritsuko, but he was under no illusions about her previous work. She'd had a hand in a lot of bad things. 'The end justifies the means' had been her guiding philosophy whilst working under Gendo Ikari.

She cares more than she did before. She has for a long time now, Kaji thought.

Then he noticed something. Her words were almost the same warning she'd given Mari during the assault.

She feels guilty for Mari. For Rei. For everything, Kaji realized slowly. He was sure the Broken Man thought the same.

Ritsuko seemed to know what they were both thinking and crossed her arms.

"The Hybrid is an Angel… a god… and whatever else you are… they're stronger than you. The blowback will kill you before it kills them," Ritsuko told the Broken Man.

"I'll heal," the Broken Man said sharply.

Ritsuko made to argue but Kaji stepped in. Now it was his turn to be cold and calculating. There were risks they didn't have the luxury of avoiding. Advantages they could ill-afford to lose. It was the reality of his job. And sometimes he hated that job.

"He's right. We need him. He's the best chance we have against the Hybrid. Injured or not," Kaji said coolly.

Ritsuko sighed, looking away, but she nodded in agreement.

Kaji lit another cigarette and took a deep whiff, ignoring the 'no-smoking indoors' sign, and breathed in the chemical reaction. They were going to have a lot of stressful days ahead.

"I don't like this," Kaji said softly, never losing his composure. Too many unknowns and an unpredictable timetable. Would they even be able to repair the Eva Units in time? Could they track the Hybrid somehow? How strong was the dark god? So little data to work with.

"Unit 01 is useless now. 02 is fine. 03 and 00 are… salvageable… but it's going to take some work. And they'll never run the same again," Ritsuko said thinking aloud. Seemingly forcing herself to focus on the job ahead.

The scientist would have her work cut out for her. Nerv HQ was in ruins and so the JSSDF took its place.

"How is the boy?"

Kaji and Ritsuko both froze at that. How was Shinji Ikari? The question hung in the air. The truth was none of them knew. The boy had had multiple surgeries, drifting in and out of consciousness under medical supervision throughout the last few days. He'd been given the highest priority as one of the only surviving Eva Pilots. Shinji had even been partially debriefed. When he'd heard the news about Misato, he had reportedly grown eerily silent.

"… the few times he's been awake… he hasn't spoken…" Ritsuko answered at long last.

"He scares the army doctors. He withstood the damage better than he should have. He's healing faster than normal too. The surgeons say he'll make a full recovery in time," Kaji said, remembering his meetings with the JSSDF medical core.

Just like you… only… lesser, Kaji thought considering the Broken Man.

Seeing the look on the Broken Man's face, Kaji continued saying: "his medical files are classified. Same as yours. They won't show up anywhere we don't want them to."

"Where is he?"

"He's resting now. I think he's earned that. Asuka too," Kaji said.

The Broken Man lowered his head, deep in thought. As if seeing things that only he could see. It was a look that Kaji was surprised to realize he had seen in the boy more than once.

"He's not alright."

---

Part 3: Broken

The Dream.

"Hey. Hey. Wake up, dummy."

"Huh? Whoa… I-"

The little girl waved her hand in front of his face.

"Did you get lost again?"

"I…"

Shame filled the boy. His medicine still wasn't working 100%. There were times where he lost himself for a moment. Gaps in his consciousness where he couldn't say what had happened. Moments of his condition taking hold.

He placed a hand to his head wincing as he felt the pain beginning to fade. His sickness retreating as if it itself did not want to be there.

"It's okay," Mari told him gently. She didn't need him to explain, and she didn't press him like the adults did. She waited for him to come back.

The little girl took his hand in hers with a smile.

"You're back. That's all that matters, dummy."

He felt a small smile form on his lips. They were kids in a mental ward. Released into the grounds for good behavior. A reward for Shinji's improvement however small.

Shinji tried to enjoy it. The fresh air, the slice of green amid the sterile white all around them, the vast openness of this tiny outside in comparison to the walls of the ward. He tried to enjoy what time with his friend he could.

Yet… his head… it hurt… and some days it stayed with him for hours at a time. He winced again as he felt something inside his skull. The medicine didn't always work. At times it was almost like the madness fought back. Rushing to return from whatever peace the pills gave him.

Today was a bad day.

Mari watched with a sad somber look in her eyes. It was wrong to see her like that. She was the happy one. A ball of energy. Loud where he was quiet.

"I'm fine… we… we gotta enjoy the time outside," Shinji said doing his best to smile.

Mari put her hands on his cheeks, and he felt himself grow warm. She pulled him close, cupping his face, and spoke sounding almost annoyed.

"Hey! You leave my dummy alone! It's his day off! So, stop hurting him!"

The girl fumed. She raged as if she could lecture a mental illness. How dare his condition trouble him when they were trying to play outside. How dare this sickness hurt her friend. He could hear all that in her voice. It made him laugh. Really laugh again. She was always like that. She could make him remember what it was like to be a kid again. She was older yet made him remember his own youth. He loved her for that.

"That's not how it works," Shinji laughed as she released him.

"… still not fair," Mari fumed.

"Thank you."

"I didn't do anything."

"Not true."

"… you're weird…"

"I am?"

"Yup. It's what I like about you. You feel any better?"

"… yeah…"

More than anything, more than the fresh air, more than the days off in the grounds of the ward, he was glad she was here.

"One day, we'll both be better," he said slowly.

He turned his gaze to the gated entrance of the facility. And he felt Mari do the same, following his gaze to the road that led back into the outskirts of a nearby city. The outside world, that place of normality that he had seldom known, so close and yet so far away all at once. He liked to imagine what he'd do if he wasn't sick.

The possibilities seemed endless and yet still within his grasp. A goal that was not unattainable. A bright future, a dream really, that he could cling to.

"We can go on real adventures. We can see real places…" he found himself saying.

Mari beamed at him, glad to see him back in the here and now.

"You promise?"

"I promise," he said.

The world around them changed. Shinji blinked and he wasn't in the ward anymore.
...

He was a teenager. He was an Eva Pilot. He was in a park with his girlfriend beside him.

Mari sat with her back against a tree whilst he lay on the grass beside her. They had gone out after spending the day doing sync tests for Nerv. They had a habit of exploring the city in the afternoon, eating out, or just cruising around on Mari's motorbike. They somehow always found ways to get near the open air and greens of the city parks.

He looked up slowly to find Mari humming softly to herself, before noticing his gaze and smirking down at him. She was beautiful, with long hair and teal energetic eyes. Her scars were gone, her face unmarked by the burns. She had both her legs again and she… she was perfect. So full of life that it was contagious.

I found you… all these years later… and I found you…

He hadn't needed anything more than to be with her. To be with his first friend and now his girlfriend, here in the moment, his troubles forgotten for however briefly. They had kept their promise. The two of them had gone on adventures.

He wondered if this was what it felt like to be happy.

"You're in a good mood. Something happen?" Mari said. She smiled at him with that infamous look of hers that was teasing, gloating, and loving all at once.

"It's a nice day today," Shinji said.

"Yeah, it is," Mari giggled at him. That was just such a him thing to say apparently. He turned his head to look up into the clouds soaring above in the blue skies overhead. He breathed in deeply relishing the open air.

"Do you ever think about what'll happen… once it's over," he said hesitantly.

"When what's over?"

"The Angel War."

He said the words slowly and carefully. Three words that carried so much weight behind them. Three words that had shaped his life since before he was even born. Three words that had damned both him and his parents, setting all of them on a path that destroyed the entire world. A path that was still running anew in this timeline.

"… no."

Mari said the words stiffly. Almost reluctantly. And he didn't know why. He wasn't sure what he had done wrong. But then she recovered, and she was her old self again, playful and at ease no matter what happened.

"Not really. Anyway, aren't you the younger one? Shouldn't I be thinking about what comes next," she laughed.

"I guess. But still… what do you think will happen after?" he said.

"What's gotten into you? We still have Angels to fight. It's not over yet," Mari said slowly.

"I don't know. I just… I want to imagine it. A life without danger. Without piloting. Just…"

He paused. He couldn't find the words. What would his life be without Eva piloting?

"Boring?" Mari offered with a raised eyebrow.

"… boring… no… my life is never boring with you," he said, managing a small smile.

"Charmer," she teased.

"I know I'll have to finish high school. But after… college? I don't even know what I like…"

"You have years. Don't worry so much."

A thought crossed his mind and Shinji was surprised at how he had never considered it. It made him ache deep in his core. A possibility that he didn't want to face.

"When you go off to college… will we… will we…"

Mari took his hand in hers and squeezed.

"I'm not going to college. That's your kinda thing, dummy. Not mine. So don't worry," she told him gently.

He squeezed her hand back relishing the warmth between their fingers. She would stay with him. He knew their relationship was strange, but it was theirs. Maybe it wasn't right but making them pilot Evangelions wasn't right either.

"… why don't you want to go?" he asked.

Mari shrugged. "I'm emancipated. Don't have limits on my bank accounts. Nerv pays well. You'll see one day. Oh, you'll see. Don't need much anyway."

"Isn't there something you'd like to do? We can't pilot forever. And-"

Mari sighed, her hand leaving his.

He wasn't sure if he'd done something wrong or not. Maybe he shouldn't have brought it up. He was thinking too far ahead. After everything he'd seen in his short life, he wanted to imagine something more than all this. But Mari hadn't seen what he had. To her, he must have been acting strange.

He shouldn't have pressed. He was drawing attention to himself in a way that his Other would not approve of.

"I'm sorry-" he began.

"Engineering. Mechanics," Mari said suddenly. Her voice was uncharacteristically low.

Shinji blinked.

Mari smirked at him, eyes alight with a love for life and the energy to live it. She pulled something from her jacket and raised her hand. A key ring span around her finger as she twirled the keys to her motorbike around for him to see.

"Motorcycles… okay… it's dumb… I know, but I've always loved them. If I cared enough to do something… it'd have to be something with bikes. I love riding them. First thing I bought when the Nerv money came in."

"… that's not dumb at all. That's… you're way too cool for me," he said shaking his head.

She looked away for a moment, and he thought he saw a flash of red across her face. He was the only one that could get that out of her. It was in these small moments, not anything physical, where he felt closest to her. She laughed and turned back to him recovering quickly and countering with a tease.

"Way too cool for your scrawny butt."

He grinned saying, "you don't have to agree that quickly."

"Oh, I know," she laughed.

She rose to her feet stretching her long limbs. They'd been at the park for hours now and had barely noticed it. He rose with her, getting to his feet. They both knew what was coming. Their day was almost over.

"Momma Misato wants you back before nightfall. Unless… you'd rather not. My place is closer," Mari told him coyly, still with that playful smirk.

He felt his face flush at that. She just had to tease him. This was her way of getting back at him for making her blush. Seemed only fair in a way. She laughed at the redness that emerged on his face. He stifled a laugh himself.

"I want to-" he began awkwardly.

"But?" Mari said expectantly. She wasn't mad or upset, she found it funny more than anything it seemed.

"Misato is… you know how she is. She means well," he finished lamely.

He'd promised Misato that he wouldn't spend the night at Mari's so much anymore. That he would answer his phone. He knew he wasn't kidding anyone. Misato knew what was happening, his guardian was an adult, and all adults were once teenagers themselves. She trusted him enough to be safe, and he was glad for it. And maybe she felt guilty for all that he and the other pilots had to go through. He liked to think that it was the former and not the latter.

"I promised. She's not that bad. Misato means well. She-"

"She cares," Mari finished for him. Mari understood, he knew she did. Especially for someone like him. To have an adult who actually cared… he didn't have words to describe it.

"Heh. Really smooth, aren't I?" he said.

"You were doing so well too. Smooth talker. You're fine. You're honest. I like that about you," she said softly. And he could tell that she meant it.

She gestured for him to follow and together they headed for her motorbike parked nearby. He had school and another sync test tomorrow. Life always seemed to move on whether he wanted it to or not. But he was glad to have had moments like this.

His face fell as he felt a sinking feeling in his chest. Whatever bliss was forgotten as the realization hit him. It stole the warmth from the world and left him empty. He stopped walking and found that his lungs stopped working too.

Mari stopped with him.

"Hey? What is it?" Mari asked suddenly. She turned to face him, and her expression grew serious as he avoided her gaze.

It's all wrong… this isn't… it's not…

He couldn't finish the thought. He didn't want to acknowledge the truth. He couldn't. He just couldn't. He felt himself shiver and began to shake. No… no… not yet… he pleaded with himself. Don't think about it… don't…

"Shinji?" Mari gasped. She reached out to grab him, to hold him close as she had done countless times before. From when they were children to when they were teenagers.

He pulled away from her touch and she hesitated, hurt by the rejection.

"… it's all wrong…" he whimpered slowly.

"What is?" his girlfriend asked him carefully.

He couldn't bring himself to look at her. Not yet. He stared into his hands unable to face the truth. He wanted to run away from it all but he found that his legs had become like stone. He couldn't move. He couldn't breathe as he fought to keep the thoughts at bay.

"You were hurt..." he croaked, his voice unsteady. Memories that he didn't want to relive came flooding back to him. Like a river that could not be held back. It all came crashing through like a dam breaking and he was powerless to stop it.

Mari said nothing.

He remembered the blast that had burned her face and had taken her leg from her. He remembered her weight in his arms as he had held her close in the aftermath and wept for her.

"I saved you… I made him do it… I- I never stopped loving you… I never cared about the scars…" he said slowly, barely able to get the words out. He felt the dead girl's gaze pouring into him silently.

He couldn't face her. Even now.

"And you… you betrayed me…" he continued at last. His voice was raw and hoarse, strained and hurt. He could scarcely believe it was his voice anymore.

"No, I didn't-"

"You did! You lied to me! All this time... I-"

He stammered over the words unable to complete them in their entirety. The wound was fresh again. A stab to the heart that tainted him. A pain that spread backward in time and turned joy into ashes. Cherished memories tore asunder. A warmth that had turned cold and bitter.

"Was any of it real? When did it start? In the ward? After? I- did it mean anything at all…" he croaked. Every word felt like it was stealing the oxygen from his lungs. Every word left him gasping for air as he struggled to even speak. Everything bled together, the hurt and sorrow, the longing, the confusion, it coalesced into one barely coherent mass of emotions.

He pictured Keel watching over him through his childhood and beyond, he pictured SEELE's leader ordering the girl to be his friend. To be anything that she needed to be for him. A cruel and soulless old man working the puppets from behind the scenes.

Mari took his hand in hers and he gasped.

…

They weren't in the park anymore. They were back in the ruined airfield. Eva Unit 03 lay where it had fallen with the various aircraft crushed beneath its frame. One last act of defiance from its pilot.

"I'm sorry."

The words made him finally look at her. Mari was crying. Her face held the faded scars once again, skin grafts had been applied and repaired most of the damage, but she was never the same. Scars that the teenage girl would carry for the rest of her days. Her hair was short, having been cut during her first surgery, and she wore a prosthetic leg.

"Why? Why did you come back?" he demanded.

He sat with her never knowing what to say or how to feel. A thousand insults and a thousand worried cries wailed up from inside threatening to burst free. A thousand conflicted emotions blurred together leaving him lost.

He felt his hand begin to shake. The return of his tremor. He remembered the soldiers being crushed by the MP Eva's boot, he remembered watching as they died. All of them… the soldiers, Mari, Asuka, Misato, all this suffering for him… why…

Because he failed. He couldn't save anyone. He couldn't even save himself in the end. Mari had… she had piloted again… and she… she… she… di-

He felt like he was going to throw up. He couldn't finish the thought.

"I'm sorry."

Mari said the words again. Just as when they were children, her words brought him back into the moment. She peered up at him with the saddest look he'd ever seen like she believed herself to be the worst person in the world. It wasn't right. That wasn't his Mari. That wasn't the girl he had thought he knew.

"You shouldn't be here," he stammered weakly. She was too thin now, she looked half a corpse already, and she was in no condition to pilot an Evangelion.

"I couldn't leave you. Not with Keel. I didn't deserve you."

Mari's hand began to slip from his. He tightened his grip instinctively, their fingers intertwining on an almost reflex-like level. An intimacy that he shared with her and no one else. One that he wasn't sure was real anymore.

Please… don't go… don't leave me… not you too… not again…

"You're too good for this world… you really are," she whispered to him as she died. Her lifeless eyes bored into his and she was happy in that final moment of goodbye. Happy in spite of everything just to see him one last time.

He held her close as if willing her to come back. Willing her to stay with him just a little longer. Her corpse was already cold. They were both so young. And he felt so old.

It wasn't just Mari's corpse in his arms. It was Rei's. It was Misato's. It was every person who had been killed or hurt because of him. Why couldn't it have been him? Why did they have to pay the price for his failures? It wasn't right… so much blood all on his hands.

He felt himself break.

THUD.

THUD.

THUD.

Thunderous footsteps sounded off and when he shakily managed to look up, a god was towering over him.

The Hybrid glared down at him. Deep red eyes with an alien intelligence that gave him its full attention. Adam and Lilith seethed with a divine fury; a pitiless rage born of suffering. It regarded him and him alone.

"WE HATE YOU MOST OF ALL, SHINJI IKARI. WE HATE YOU WITH EVERY ATOM IN THIS BODY." the Hybrid told him.

Red light began to gather around its eyes. Heat emerged and the air sizzled; he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. A primal fear ran through his body even as he reeled from the death of his girlfriend.

"DIE."

The blast came and flooded his world with bright red light…

…

Shinji Ikari woke from his nightmare. He didn't gasp. He didn't shout or cry. He didn't awaken with a fresh layer of sweat atop his brow. Instead, he woke dully and slowly. The world around him came into focus and he felt it all wanting. He was lying in a hospital bed with an IV bag strapped to his arm.

White… always in white…

The previous days came back to him in a blur. He'd had multiple surgeries, he knew that. He remembered going in and out of consciousness as people checked on him. The JSSDF Battalion Commander, Kaji, Ritsuko, and countless doctors.

But it was his dreams that took the forefront. The haunting echoes of his own mind that stuck with him the most. Traumatic event after traumatic event, never given the time to process, forever building up pressure, and leaking back to him as he slept.

He sat up slowly and cared little for the pain roaring across his upper chest and face. His beatings at SEELE's hands were catching up to him. Light bandaging covered his face and several parts of his body stung him, leftovers from the bruises after being struck repeatedly. Shinji found that the physical injuries seemed to have been sustained by someone else, not him or even his Other, he sat there as a stranger in his own body.

Nothing felt real. It was all hollow and empty. A nothingness that had taken root from inside of him.

He held out his arm and stared at his unbloodied but bruised hands. He saw the mark upon his knuckles from where he had punched Keel Lorenz, the small cuts from where the glass of that man's visor had shattered and bitten him back.

And for what? The dead were still dead. He wished he found it sweet, the pettiness and fury that had driven him to strike SEELE's leader after all he had been through. He wanted to find some savage pleasure in it, but there was none. It felt empty just like everything else. It hadn't changed anything.

Shinji's hand shook as a familiar tremor came back.

He closed his hand into a fist, squeezing his fingers gently. He felt the ghost of a familiar touch briefly, a phantom of his fingers interlocked with another. A touch that he would never know again. Forever lost to him.

This was all he had left in him anymore. The only thing he felt was a deep and tearing sense of loss. It left him hollow inside and out. The kind of loss that never truly goes away. In spite of it all, in spite of everything that had happened, all the unanswered questions, the countless words left unsaid, he craved for those familiar hands around him now. More than he had ever known. An embrace that had once righted the world and undid all the wrongs.

The sun with its light never to shine again.

He wanted to cry. He wanted to shout. He wanted to rage. Nothing came. Nothing at all.

He sat there for who knows how long in his hospital bed, staring ahead with hollow lifeless eyes. Eventually, the door to the room opened and a nurse gasped before rushing in to check on him.

Distantly, he realized that someone had changed his clothes for him in his sleep. He was back in the familiar hospital gown, and he hadn't noticed until now. The nurse evaluated him, and he did everything they asked. He didn't speak. Not once.

---

Kaji and Ritsuko came to visit him. They told him what had happened with Keel. That a deal had been made and they were forced to use SEELE's remaining resources to repair the surviving Eva Units. That the Hybrid was still on the loose and no one knew how much time they had.

"How's Misato?"

Those were the first words he had spoken in days. A flat question that came almost on reflex.

"… Shinji," Ritsuko whispered softly. Gently. She struggled to speak, trying to be careful with him now of all times. After everything that had happened. He hated that look.

Just tell me, he thought. He was tired of this game the adults played. Tired of the lie they tried to tell, that everything would be okay.

Ritsuko tried to take his hand the way Misato might have done, but he pulled back and turned to Kaji. The spy was leaning against the wall watching him carefully.

"She's still in a coma. The bullets did a lot of damage. They don't know if she'll wake up," Kaji answered. Straight and to the point.

Shinji nodded.

Ever since he'd heard about what happened to Misato at Nerv, about the events leading up to the ceasefire, his guardian had been another weight to add to the pile of his failures. He kept waiting for them to tell him that she passed away. He didn't bother hoping for anything else.

Ritsuko wanted to talk more. He could see it in her concerned gaze, but Kaji put a hand on her shoulder and shook his head. The spy led the scientist out of the room. Kaji understood better than most. Shinji was almost grateful for that. He wanted to be. Instead, he just felt flickers of bitterness and anger at everything and nothing.

"You have free reign of the base. But don't leave. You're on call now," Kaji told him.

That was it. All the goodbyes that they gave him.

Neither of the adults had time for him. Too busy with the investigation or else leading the repairs. That suited him. He didn't want to hear it. Not from them. He didn't want to hear platitudes on how to feel. That one day it wouldn't hurt so much.

….

He spent his days in his room, wandering the halls of the unfamiliar JSSDF base, or else eating alone in any corner he could find away from people. The base was like a small city inside of Tokyo-03, complete with its own military hospital, barracks, cafeteria, and countless members of the various branches of the military. It was similar to Nerv in that way.

A miniature ecosystem that operated apart from the rest of the city, filled with its own denizens going about their lives within the confines of the JSSDF. Forced to adapt as areas were cleared for the latest additions, as hundreds of new non-military staff were rushed inside to work. The former employees of Nerv brought into the base for their herculean task.

It was strange to see. The Evangelion Units were parked inside a military base.

An airfield had been cleared of its normal inhabitants. And in their place stood Evangelion Units 00, 02, and 03. As well as the Spear of Longinus lying at their feet. A collection of titans that towered over the entire base and its fortified buildings.

Unit 00 was still standing on its own, large sections of its armor torn off, with burn marks and spear wounds littering its frame. A wounded and battered marvel of engineering pushed to its limit, but still in the fight.

Unit 02 was in the best condition, almost entirely intact save for the collection of dents and cracks around the armor, and the bandaged wound on its shoulder. After having been awakened and going on its rampage fleeing SEELE's fortress, the red titan had once again slipped into its slumber. Ritsuko and her team were in the process of re-activating its controls, and one of SEELE's S2 engines was being brought in for it.

Unit 03 was half a corpse in and of itself. The armor was the only thing holding the mangled and battered cloned Angel together. Eva Unit 03 had suffered the most damage by far. Multiple spear blows, stabs to the stomach and throat, missing fingers, broken bones, massive amounts of 'blood' loss, the list went on. The titan had been brought down not by a lack of power but rather an overwhelming amount of punishment.

Shinji watched from the rooftop of a building as a small army of former Nerv staff worked around the clock to repair all of them. Night had fallen and enormous lighting and scaffolding structures had been hastily erected to support the task. Makeshift and specialized equipment had been brought in by the JSSDF as well. SEELE's remaining resources brought in to help stop the end of all mankind.

Shinji sat there, alone on his rooftop, knowing that he could do nothing to help the operation. All he could do was wait. With Nerv in ruins he couldn't even train with combat simulations anymore, anything to stop the thoughts that always clung to him. So, he watched them work on the Evas instead with hollow empty eyes.

"01" he whispered softly. The one Evangelion missing from the picture.

Unit 01 was gone. Hauled off to storage where it would be out of the way. It had been missing both its arms and had been blind in one eye from what Shinji had been told. Even if it had been salvageable, it wouldn't have mattered. Eva Unit 01 was completely useless now that the Broken Man had left the machine.

Even you left me in the end…

Unit 01 had been with him since he'd first arrived in Tokyo-03. A faithful machine that had done everything it could to keep him safe. To let him fight and protect his loved ones. Now it was gone too.

Footsteps sounded off quietly behind him. He hadn't even heard the door to the rooftop open. He didn't turn around to face the newcomer. He stood with his back to them watching the scene overhead from underneath the night sky.

I was wondering when you'd find me. Have I been avoiding you? Or have you been avoiding me?

Both. I think.

Humph. We managed a few days at least.

Almost a week, boy.

How can we still talk like this?

Eva or no, there's still a part of me with you.

… you could have reached out at any time. Just like we're doing now.

I could have. And so could you.

Fair enough.

Shinji stared straight ahead watching the ongoing repairs of the surviving Eva Units, as the Broken Man silently moved to join him. The old man came to stand beside him overlooking the scene below.

"… Misato's going to die, isn't she?" Shinji whispered suddenly. His voice was low and flat, accepting the cruelness that was the world. And why not? With the life he lived, it seemed only fitting that he would lose her too.

"We don't know that."

Shinji scoffed. "Six bullets to the torso…" he whispered slowly.

"I did what I could to save her. The rest is in the doctors' hands."

That was all the answer his Other had for him. Not 'have faith' or even 'don't worry.' The truth was the only thing that the old man could give him. After the way things had been going, Shinji didn't expect to ever see his guardian again. That warm and kind figure, beautifully flawed, trying to be the mother for him that he'd never had. She had tried. That was more than he could have said for most of the adults in his life.

Another face he would see in his nightmares.

"It's all my fault," Shinji said bitterly.

"No. It wasn't."

Again, Shinji scoffed.

So much had happened since he and his Other had parted ways. So many failures. So many ghosts to haunt him. Misato, Rei, and Mari… Mari…

Even thinking about her left him drained. Left him hollow and reeling with grief all at once. He never felt more alone in his entire life than he did these days. He knew he wasn't alright. His Other was in even worse shape, at least physically.

The Broken Man's vocal cords hadn't fully recovered from returning to his original body. The words were hesitant, raspy, and hoarse as if every exertion pained the old man.

"We look like shit, don't we?" Shinji muttered. Words spoken by another and true all the same.

The Broken Man didn't answer him.

His Other's face was still covered in bandages. And though the older man no longer required a wheelchair, he walked with a small limp. It seemed his counterpart had begun healing at an unnatural speed, but the wounds took a toll no matter 'what' he was.

The two of them stood there in silence under the night sky. Helicopters and supply trucks entered and exited the base delivering resources to the scene below. Shinji and Shinji stood together watching it all. Two figures in varying degrees of bandages. A boy and an old man. Both aged far before their time. Both pilots that had lost their Eva. Both haunted by ghosts of their own making.

"Why her? Why Mari?" Shinji asked finally. He said the words almost in a whisper, a quiet croak that barely escaped his lips. Almost hoping he wouldn't get an answer. That was the first time he'd said her name aloud since… since…

"You know why."

Shinji felt himself shaking again. The tremor in his hand returning as he hung his head low, and his lips trembled.

"Because you needed another Eva pilot," he said, almost in tears.

He felt his hands clench into fists. Cold angry bitterness at the world and everything in it rising up within him and threatening to rush out at long last. How long had it all been building? Ever since he'd been shot. Ever since his bastard of a father had murdered his friend. Ever since he'd learned the truth. All of it, Shinji had had to bear in silence. Forced to put it away so that the mission could continue.

No more. It all came out. All at once. The grief, the anger, the hurt, the bitterness, the frustration, it all came flooding out like pressure relieved from a fault.

"Because I got captured! Because I couldn't save Rei! I held her in my arms after Gendo- after he- after- he shot- he killed her twice and I couldn't do anything! And Misato… she… all because I couldn't… she got hurt and then Mari… she had… she shouldn't have been there! She shouldn't have… she…"

He let out as many of the words as he could before falling to his knees. He was breathing hard, gushing out all the air in his lungs. Feeling something at long last no matter how bitter.

"Because she loved you."

The words hit him like a slap to the face. He flinched as if struck and grew silent. Her last words to him rang in his ears as if he was back in that ruined airfield again. A thousand conflicting emotions waged within him, and he sat there reeling never knowing what to feel.

"… she betrayed me… she lied to me…"

"Yes, she did."

Shinji paused at that, breathing hard from where he sat. She did… she did…

"And she still loved you. I saw it in her eyes. Saving you? That was the only thing she cared about anymore," the Broken Man told him softly.

Shinji wheezed, breathing out harshly into the night air. He shook from his seat on the roof and wrapped his arms around himself as he used to when he was a child in the ward and all alone. A self-created substitute for a parentless and unloved boy.

"… you knew. You knew ever since the beginning," Shinji hissed, glaring at the old man.

"I suspected."

"Bullshit. You knew."

The Broken Man lowered his head and sighed heavily as the wind blew. The sound was like gravel, rough and hard.

"Yes. I didn't want to believe it. I didn't want to take her away from you. I wanted to believe that I was wrong about her. But deep down I knew. I was afraid."

Shinji scoffed saying, "afraid of what?"

"I told you before. Afraid that my suspicions would drive us further apart. I won't deny that it upset me, a life without Rei being… you know what I am trying to say."

Shinji's glare faded away and he exhaled heavily, holding himself tightly in the cold. He didn't even know what to say anymore. That he should have listened that time so long ago now? The Over the Rainbow incident? That he should have focused on Rei instead? That he and Rei should have… That he should… but no… that would have been wrong too… he wasn't the Broken Man and trying to force that would have been wrong.

What should he have done… could he have saved them both? … They were both gone, and it was all his fault. Rei and Mari…

"… you were right in the end…" he said finally. The nothingness consumed him once again, leaving him hollow even after his outburst. Drained. A shell of who he was supposed to be. This… this emptiness that had taken hold of him hurt him in a way that he'd never experienced before. The pains of the heart were so devastating that he wished he'd never even loved at all. It made him wish that he wouldn't ever feel again.

That was what he was left with. A life of traumatic waves, a tide of highs and lows, of sheer hollow emptiness, and then overwhelming bouts of emotion rushing out all at once.

"Hmm. I was right and I was wrong."

The Broken Man turned to face him at last. A tall thin figure, a walking scarecrow of a man, ravaged by time itself, with bandages covering his face, mixed colored eyes peering down at him, and looking as if he'd aged another ten years in a manner of days.

"Whatever else you feel. It wasn't all lies. You can't fake what she felt for you by the end. I promise you, boy. In the end, it was real."

It was real. It was real, the boy thought to himself. His heart ached at the thought. To know that even after everything she had done, she had loved him. It hadn't all been Keel's lies.

"I know…" Shinji whispered slowly. He remembered the look in Mari's eyes as she died. He thought he would remember it for the rest of his days. He felt it all over again. Part of him wanted to forgive her. Part of him wanted to be angry. Part of him wanted to weep even now. Most of all, he wished he'd had more time with her.

"It was my fault," the Broken Man said suddenly.

Shinji paused; his lungs seemingly had stopped working as the words left his Other's mouth. He looked up at the Broken Man with wide hollow eyes.

"I was selfish. I wanted to help her. I tried to make myself feel better for abandoning her in my world. I told myself that I could fix it. That no one would know. I was in denial. It only made things worse."

The Broken Man raised his crippled hand, flexing the fingers, three fingers where there should have been five. A far-off painful look in his mixed-colored eyes. Memories of another life no doubt playing back to him in perfect clarity. Memories of a woman who had given him her heart and had not been treated in kind.

"They chose her because of me."

"… you cured her. And SEELE noticed. Of course, they would."

The Broken Man nodded. No hesitation. No excuses. Just the cold hard facts. The truth. That was who his Other was.

Shinji looked away. Part of him wanted to lash out. To strike out at his Other. And part of him understood. He understood because he had intervened once before too, he had risked so much to save his girlfriend after she'd lost her leg. After Mari had been comatose and on the verge of death. He had begged and begged, forcing the Broken Man to save Mari. Forcing his Other to play god no matter the cost. It had put the entire plan at risk, it had hurt Rei, and Ritsuko had had to cover for them. It had been such a close call.

No. He didn't blame his Other. He couldn't say what he would have done if their places had been switched. The world was cruel and that's all there was to it.

"… I just wish I knew what was real and what wasn't. When did it start? Was it all planned from the beginning? Our first meeting? After?" he said somberly.

So many private and intimate moments played back in his mind's eye. His childhood in the ward with his first friend, the pudding, the games they had played, their time in the Eva program, and their adventures in the city. So many private thoughts and experiences that had been meant only for the two of them. How much had been shared with SEELE in secret? When had it shifted?

"I don't think anyone could tell you that. I'm not sure even she would have known when it started being real," the Broken Man told him.

"… I miss her," Shinji said wearily.

It didn't seem real. A world without Mari. A world without that lively and adventurous girl who had helped him find his voice as a boy. He never properly considered what would happen once his father and SEELE had been dealt with, never thought what he would say to Mari after he had learned that truth. There hadn't been time. Then she had shown up again to save him. It had changed everything.

He missed Misato. He missed Rei. Asuka was alive, that had to count for something right? And what had she been through in all this mess? She had been manipulated into joining a war, been kidnapped, and had had a gun shoved in her face. All of it was his fault.

"Keel will pay for what he has done."

Shinji felt his face harden at the mention of that man. The monster that had started this all.

"Kaji made a deal with him," Shinji spat in disgust.

"They had to. You know that."

"Doesn't make it right."

"No. It doesn't. People like him, the wealthiest of the wealthy, they don't play by the same rules as us."

Shinji had no answer to that. He fumed silently.

Keel Lorenz… bastard. Even when he loses, he still wins, he thought grimly. Such was the world of the wealthy it seemed.

"… He wanted you to apologize by the way. For the punch."

"Screw him."

The Broken Man grunted in acknowledgment. The smallest almost imperceptible amount of levity at that moment.

Shinji watched as his Other sat beside him. The two pilots overlooked the titans that they would be forced to send out to battle someday soon. It was surreal for both of them. They had spent years never being able to do this. Something as simple as sit beside each other in the real world.

It brought them no comfort. The Broken Man returning to his original body had been a desperate act brought about at the end, a last-ditch effort to reset the board in their favor. And it still hadn't been enough.

Shinji looked over Unit 03 in the distance.

Mari's Evangelion slumped in its armor. Mountains of scaffolding encircled the titan as Ritsuko, and her team worked around the clock to repair as much damage as they could. New flesh had been hastily grown and was being surgically implanted, replacing dead cells in a process he couldn't begin to fully understand. He would have to pilot Unit 03. He knew that.

"… what are we even doing? What is 'the plan' now?" he asked. The question that had been gnawing at him for days.

The Broken Man gave him a long hard look. They both knew where this was heading.

Shinji hung his head low again. There was a reason that his Other had brought the Spear of Longinus back.

"… are we really supposed to do this? Are we really supposed to fight… to kill the Hybrid? To kill… Rei…" he said, almost shaking.

He was haunted by his failure to save her. Even now, he saw the image of her bleeding body being lifted through the air to join with Lilith. And more, he saw the pale-skinned girl whose life had been even more tragic than his. Another pawn caught in the games of cruel and soulless men.

He had promised to find her. To help her. That she would live on. That she would get to choose the life she would live. Not Gendo. Not the Angels. No one but her and her alone.

"I tried to reach her," the Broken Man said, his voice raw and exposed. An old man's sorrow laid bare.

"Is she really gone?"

The Broken Man closed his eyes briefly as if in pain. A deep and long-lived wound that he carried with him for who knows how long now.

"I spoke with the Hybrid. Before we clashed. Lilith… I told her that we only wanted to help. That this wasn't what Rei would have wanted. Rei was kind. She cared about her friends. She didn't hate the world."

The Broken Man paused. A longing look emerged in his mixed-colored eyes. A softness that peered its way into the haggard and weathered form of a husband left behind. A glimmer in the dark that was seldom seen and only in memory.

"My wife was the same. She suffered so much. More than I did. After everything they did to her… and she never hated them. Not even Gendo. I hated my father, but Rei? She never forgave him… she didn't need to. She moved past him. She loved the world even with its flaws. She found beauty and happiness amid the ruin. I've never known anyone else who could see what she saw," the Broken Man lamented.

Shinji closed his eyes and his mind brought forth images of his Other's life. Images of Rei Ikari. A loving figure that seemed beyond hate. Kind. Warm. A gentle soul and fierce in her own way, brave to find beauty where everyone else found only despair and ruin.

Rei… I'm so sorry…

"… and? What did the Hybrid say?" Shinji asked breathlessly, opening his eyes, and returning to the here and now.

The Broken Man's face fell, and he seemed to shrink. He never looked older than he did at that moment. A frail and aging abomination of a man.

"Lilith didn't care. They did not want my help. Rei is gone… taken into the collective that is the Hybrid. Neither the First nor Second Angel want her to come back… I don't think they can bring her back. Adam? He is a monster through and through. His hatred is alien and foreign. Lilith? Her hatred is personal. She despises all of us. The entire human race. Especially you and me. She had never known suffering such as Rei's… and now… her hatred runs deeper than her brother's ever did."

Shinji blinked, his eyes beginning to water, as the scene around him began to blur. He wiped his eyes and wheezed softly into the night.

"… There has to be something that-"

"No, boy. This is all there is."

Shinji rose to his feet on shaking legs. He felt his hands curl into fists as a fit of unreasonable and childlike anger rose. A foolish thing that decried the unfairness of it all. A minuscule measure of hope that he tried to cling to even as it slipped away. A belief that the Broken Man would know what to do. That his Other could succeed where he had failed.

"How?! You- you have so much power! You must have a plan! You're the time traveler! You brought down SEELE! You saved Ritsuko and Kaji! You… you've had years to work this out! You… I… it can't-"

The Broken Man sighed heavily, slumping into his seat even as Shinji stood over him.

"It's a terrible thing to see, isn't it?"

Shinji panted, not knowing what to say. The Broken Man was always scheming, always planning, moving pieces on the board, adapting and maneuvering, who knew the events of the future, who had swum through the rivers of time, who always had moves to play, a man that even the Angels had feared. He had always seemed so strong to Shinji, an unyielding personification of sheer will.

"Terrible to realize that no one is infallible. You don't wake up one day as an adult with all the answers. That's not how life works. We're all doing the best we can with what we have. And sometimes it isn't enough. Sometimes there's no way out but through."

And there it was. The last bits of hope he'd stubbornly tried to cling to. A lie that he'd tried to tell himself. Perhaps it was the reason he had avoided his Other. To avoid the dire assumptions that he'd been making since he'd woken. Since he had witnessed the Hybrid with his own eyes.

"What are we even fighting for anymore?" Shinji said. He looked down at his shoes, lost in thought, feeling hollow and empty once again.

"For that," the Broken Man said simply.

Shinji looked up and watched as his Other gestured to the rest of the city visible in the distance. The towering buildings and visual urban sprawl that was Tokyo-03. A million souls moving about their lives. A million little lives that were themselves a fraction of the human race as a whole.

"They matter, boy. They all matter," the Broken Man said quietly. The voice… it wasn't right. It wasn't filled with conviction; it was a feeble rationalization. A grasp for meaning in a world that had none.

"… of course they do," Shinji admitted numbly.

"Doesn't feel the same, does it?"

The fate of all mankind, the lives of every single person on the planet, was a heavy burden to bear. And it was distant. It was impersonal. It shouldn't have been. In all the stories, the hero gladly picked up that burden to bear, the savior of the world, but that wasn't Shinji.

It was terrible to admit but the fate of all mankind was a poor substitute for those he loved. Asuka lived, he had to keep reminding himself. He counted that a blessing in and of itself. One soul that he had managed not to fail utterly. They did matter, all the nameless people whose lives rested on their shoulders. And they still didn't fill the hole left behind.

"It can't be for nothing…" the Broken Man whispered.

Shinji couldn't even imagine how much this must have hurt for his Other. The old man's pain was twice fold.

"I'm sorry," he said, and he meant it. Neither of them was strangers to pain. Yet some pains are greater than others.

The Broken Man turned to meet his gaze, and he spoke.

"I never wanted this for you. I didn't want you to end up like me."

Broken. The word went unsaid. In every world, it seemed he ended up here. Like he had been damned since the day he was born. Locked into a fate by those who had come before.

The Broken Man rose to his feet and headed for the exit. Shinji lingered, staring out into the night sky from his vantage point on the roof.

"Rest up as much as you can. Try to eat. Sooner or later, the Hybrid will come back," the Broken Man said in farewell.

The two of them were locked into their roles. Both of them forced to face their failures head-on and put an end to the madness their parents had started. They would do it. He knew that. They would go along the motions and do their duty. Defend mankind. It had never felt emptier than it did these days.

---

Part 4: Reunion

Ground level.
Cafeteria.

"You haven't seen him?".

"No… sorry, Asuka. We've been working around the clock," Maya answered. The young scientist looked utterly exhausted, with heavy bags under her eyes, and coffee stains on her lab coat and old Nerv uniform.

Maya's co-workers weren't looking any better. Aoba was sulky and blinked slowly as he practically inhaled more coffee with not a drop of sugar or sweetener, whilst Hyuga distractingly cleaned his glasses repeatedly more out of habit than anything.

Asuka hadn't known what had happened to Ritsuko's old team before the ceasefire had been called, but she knew they must have seen things. People had died during the JSSDF's invasion of Nerv, there was no denying that. So many of them were still playing catch up.

The three of them had relocated to the military base to help Ritsuko in the ongoing repairs. They and countless surviving Nerv staff had been trucked in to help. Those still able-bodied enough to contribute did so. They may not have known all the details, but they knew the Hybrid was still on the loose and that the Evangelions were needed.

"They say he got pretty banged up. Have you ah… have you checked the med bay?" Aoba slurred quietly. The man shoved more coffee down his throat and then reached for the cafeteria food as he spoke.

"I went by a few days ago, but he was already gone. I think they released him," Asuka said slowly.

She was sitting across from Ritsuko's assistants, the three-man team that worked directly under the supervision of Nerv's head scientist. She was honestly amazed to see them again. Kaji and Ritsuko didn't have time for her lately. The world had changed so much in such a short time, it was a comfort to find glimpses of the familiar amid the newfound chaos.

"And you? How are you holding up?" Maya asked, concern peeking its way into her exhausted expression.

"Fine," Asuka lied. She didn't sleep well. She had nightmares sometimes. And she had far too much time on her hands lately. No sync training. No school. Placed on standby as the repairs continued.

Maya smiled like she understood but didn't push. Once, Asuka would have bristled at that. Now, she was glad for such a gesture.

"Sorry. We have to head back in a few hours, and we need to get some shut-eye while we can," Aoba said suddenly, looking at his damaged but still functioning watch.

Asuka's face fell.

"Yeah. Thanks… for letting me sit with you," Asuka said slowly. She meant it.

"Of course. Anytime," Maya said as she and her co-workers rose from their seats. They left their food trays behind; members of the JSSDF support staff would clean up after them.

"… I'm glad that you all made it," Asuka said slowly, as the group of scientists began to leave.

Maya and the others paused at that. The adults shared a look between them and Asuka realized that maybe she could have worded that better.

"… we're glad you made it too," Aoba said, managing a weak smile behind his tired eyes.

"We'll see you around, okay? You can sit with us at the cafeteria whenever we're free. Anytime, we meant that," Maya said.

"I'd like that," Asuka said.

She watched them go before sighing and rising from the table herself. A small sea of strangers was milling about in the cafeteria. Soldiers and who knows who else. Asuka stood there lost again with nothing to do but wait. She just wished she could have found that stupid boy.

She missed him. She missed Misato. She missed... everyone.

The support staff emerged and Asuka politely moved out of their way. The uniformed men began to clean up after Maya and the others. They took the empty food trays and nodded respectfully at her, but Asuka didn't know them. To them, she was just another asset in the upcoming battle. There were no salutes, Asuka wasn't in the military, just an awkward acknowledgment that she would play a vital role in the upcoming battle.

Asuka left them to their work and wandered off past the countless soldiers going about their business. A lone teenager amid a military cafeteria. Alone in the aftermath of everything that happened.

She headed for the exit and had just slipped past the double doors and stepped back into the quiet night air when she bumped into someone.

"Sorry-" Asuka muttered, too lost in her own thoughts. She needed to pay more attention. She still wasn't used to the military base and its layout. Only, she didn't finish the words. She gasped and had to fight every urge in her body to stumble back or else burst into a fit of rage.

Gendo Ikari stood in front of her.

The former Director of Nerv stood solemn and silent, tall, with a bandaged face, a walking scarecrow of a man under the night sky.

Gendo turned to her and… something wasn't right.

No… not Gendo…

Asuka realized her mistake when she saw the eyes. Those eyes were hollow and empty, worn out, not hidden from the world behind tinted glasses. One of them was red. This man was thin, too thin. His hair was greyer than Gendo's had been, and he had a face marked by hard lines. A man even older than his father.

"… it's you… the Other," Asuka whispered almost gasping.

The Broken Man looked her over wordlessly. Kaji had briefed her on what this 'man' was… but to see it in person? All the rage and surprise she'd felt vanished, and she found her gaze drawn to this figure before her, unable to look away at this old man from the future.

"I am," the Broken Man said. His hollow empty eyes looked her over searching for injuries, and they seemed to lighten briefly as he found none.

Shinji… Not the boy I knew. This one? He's so far gone… Asuka thought.

The boy she knew hadn't been beaten down by the world, he had been kind. She had once thought him to be weak, but she had been a fool to think so. Her brother, for lack of a better word, was the best person that she knew.

"You've been brave. I'm sorry you had to go through this," the Broken Man told her hesitantly. Even he struggled to find what to say.

"… I'm okay. My… mom saved me. I don't know how… but she did."

This man before her had been a part of that. He had to have been. Shinji… both of them had been with her when she'd first felt her mother's presence. Asuka knew what she felt.

The Broken Man nodded. "Yes, she did."

Asuka watched, mesmerized as the Shinji before her seemed to pause at that. He thought it over and spoke carefully and softly, almost wistfully.

"Your mother loves you very much. She wouldn't have chosen this life for you, but she would have been proud of the person you've become."

Asuka froze. The way he spoke about her, the tone in his voice, had he known her? That couldn't have been possible. Could it?

The Broken Man looked at her like he wanted to say more. His expression darkened and he looked away.

"At least I kept one promise," he whispered.

She noticed that the Broken Man was staring at Unit 02 off in the distance.

"What are you talking-"

"Can you do something for me?"

"... What could I do for you?" Asuka said slowly, still in a mixture of awe and disbelief at the mere existence of the man before her.

"Be there for him. He didn't deserve this. None of you did."

Then the Broken Man walked off into the night and out of sight, disappearing into the base and its enclosed ecosystem all alone. A ghost who drifted through the land of the living.

Asuka stood there utterly dumbfounded. The doors to the cafeteria opened and people shuffled past her going about their business. Slowly, she left too.

What did he mean? She thought.

The night sky greeted her as she stepped further into the center of the base with its wide-open spaces. The Evangelions towered over the rest of the buildings and hid the moon above.

She paused to mull over what had happened. She would have to pilot again, she knew that. They all would. Her, Shinji, and… the Other. One last Eva Team assembled to stand against Adam and Lilith. The thought made her expression turn downcast. Rei.

Should have reached out sooner. And Mari… I should have visited her. I should have... done more. For both of them.

Asuka sighed, wishing she wasn't so alone. No one had time for her. All the adults were too busy, and she couldn't find Shinji. Maybe the boy didn't want to be found.

She was about to head back to her private room and turn in for the night when movement caught her sight. She almost gasped.

Shinji was walking along the edges of the base, alone, gaze glued to his feet.

Asuka broke into a run.

…

Shinji Ikari wandered the outskirts of his newfound cage. His staging ground for the final battle. He didn't know what he wanted anymore.

He didn't want to be around people, these strangers, and unfamiliar faces, and yet he didn't want to be alone either. He'd always hated being alone but lately, whenever he was amid the crowds, he felt hollow or else filled with a cold bitterness at nothing and everything. At least alone, he could drift along as the days went by. Living on a kind of auto-pilot, going through the motions in a detached numbness.

"Shinji!"

What-

"Shinji!"

He stopped. He blinked, brought out of his somber thoughts as a familiar sound called out to him. He stood there at the edge of the base, the cold night winds blowing as footsteps approached.

Shinji raised his head and turned to find Asuka running after him.

The German girl came to a frantic stop skittering along the grounds as she almost slammed into him. Expressionless, he held out his hands to steady her as she almost slipped. Once, she would have refused his help, now she accepted it without a second thought.

Asuka panted, breathing hard from the run.

"… I've been looking everywhere for you. Where have you been?" she said, panting.

"… I wanted to be alone," Shinji said quietly. He let her go.

"Why? Are you- are you okay?" Asuka exclaimed. She looked him over and her expression hardened as she took in the faded bruises and bandages that still littered his face.

Hesitantly, and awkwardly, she reached a hand over to his injuries. He shied away from her touch, turning away.

"I'm alive. That's more than most can say."

Asuka frowned, not sure what to say to that.

Shinji breathed in deeply and forced himself to meet her gaze. He did speak truthfully when he said: "I'm glad you made it out."

His expression turned downcast once more as he continued, "I'm sorry for what they did to you."

Even now, he remembered Keel standing over an imprisoned Asuka with a gun to her head. Another of SEELE's pawns, forced into being a would-be trigger for instrumentality. He remembered begging and pleading with Keel to let her go, to use him instead, anything but her.

He lowered his head feeling guilty for what had happened. He noticed that Asuka's hands were suddenly clenched into fists. He must have brought up painful memories for her. He hadn't meant to do that.

She's angry with me? Huh. It was all my fault. I don't deserve anything less-

"Forget about me. I saw what they did to you," Asuka seethed.

Shinji blinked. He… he had not expected that.

Asuka wasn't angry at him, she was angry at Keel. At Gendo. At SEELE. Everyone but him? How? Why? It left him utterly dumbfounded.

"I bet they felt like real men, beating up a teenager," Asuka said in disgust.

He opened his mouth to say something, but Asuka cut him off before he could.

"I'm sorry," Asuka blurted. Her words came out slurred and high-pitched. It was hard for her to get the words out. As if she felt guilty and burdened by a weight that wasn't hers to bear.

He looked up and found her eyes alight with a fire that he'd almost forgotten was there. Life, there was no other word for it. A blazing light of righteous rage at his wounds.

"… for what?"

Asuka took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she steeled herself up for whatever she wanted to say.

"I couldn't save you," Asuka said at last.

Shinji stood there in shock. What on earth was she talking about? That wasn't- she didn't have to- he was the one who-

"I tried! I tried to fight back. I did everything I could to get the stupid Eva to move but they did something to the controls," Asuka said.

She stared at his bandaged face as if every bruise was hers too. She didn't wince, that wasn't her, she bore this imaginary shared pain with a strength and resilience that was truly amazing to see.

"They hurt you," Asuka said softly, calming down at last.

She reached out to him again, slowly. Shinji stood there silently and just as her fingers pressed up against his face, he turned away again and found that he couldn't face her.

"… what?" Asuka asked him.

You… that's not right. Nothing was your fault. It was mine.

"… they hurt a lot more people than me," he muttered harshly.

He felt Asuka's eyes on him even as he started to walk away. He felt numb as his legs moved, and he felt more than heard Asuka follow him.

"Where are you going?!" she asked him, almost annoyed.

He ignored the question.

He felt a hand grab him by the wrist and he whirled to face her.

"Don't!" he shouted.

Asuka let him go and stared at him open-mouthed.

"… sorry. I shouldn't have… I won't touch you again" she said, her eyes shifted downward in a guilty expression. There it was again. It was hard for her to apologize, she didn't have much experience, and a lifetime ago such an act would have warmed the heart.

What? Does she think I have trauma? That touch… triggers… no… not me… I…

"It's not that," he whispered. He couldn't bring himself to look at her anymore. He was only making it worse. She had felt guilty for something that wasn't even her fault. She'd been through more than enough to put up with… whatever this misunderstanding was.

"Then what?! Why are you avoiding me! Why are you hiding from everyone?!" Asuka finally shouted.

She was panting as he stood there still not bringing himself to meet her gaze.

She was angry again. Now, that was the Asuka that he remembered. Alive and full of fire. Only… this wasn't some petty offense from the early days of their relationship. There was concern in her voice. Worry for him of all people.

"… leave me alone. Just… go away… don't…"

"Don't what?" Asuka asked, lowering her voice and practically pleading for him to answer.

She cared about him now. The realization should have been obvious. After everything the two of them had been through, he hadn't done a good enough job of severing that relationship.

"Don't care about me. Don't love me. Bad things happen to those who do," Shinji said through gritted teeth.

The feelings he hadn't been able to put into words since he'd woken up. The admission that he refused to give voice to until it was forced out of him. An acknowledgment of his curse. His hands clenched into bitter and futile fists at the unfairness of that truth.

He felt the ghosts around him tugging on his shoulders, a phantom memory of the dead and suffering that carried a terrible weight. A pang of guilt ate at him. He shrugged it off, for now, letting himself slip back into the feeling of nothingness, a hollowed-out soul that was his.

"… that's what you think?" he heard Asuka whisper.

He turned and started walking away. He skittered along the edge of the base hoping to disappear in the line between the end of this isolated ecosystem, and the road leading back to the rest of the city. The very ends of his newfound and duty-bound prison.

Asuka grabbed him by the shoulder, hard.

He whirled ready to shout at her. To yell. To cry out. Anything so she would leave. Anything for her to finally be free of him. Safe unlike all the others. He'd hurt enough people. Better to be alone. Better to leave them all behind.

Instead, a fist flashed by his face and his world went dark.

SMACK.

He stumbled back and fell on his butt completely stunned. His face stung as he sat where he'd fallen, bewildered and not knowing how they had gotten here at all. Asuka only stood over him seething and he saw tears threaten to form in her watery eyes.

"You idiot!" she told him. She was shaking. Not from anger but concern instead. He heard it in her uneven voice as she hiccupped.

"… what-" he stammered.

She brought her hand down across his head in a light rapping motion. The blow was half-hearted with no real weight behind it, a scolding with no true effort expunged.

"Agh. Stop! What are you-"

"What?! Are you stupid?!" she shouted drowning him out.

He raised his arm and blocked another of her half-hearted scolding blows. He honestly had no idea what the hell was going on. Stop hitting me! He thought with a flicker of annoyance.

Asuka glared, unable to land another hit as he blocked again and again. Then she reached down and grabbed him, pulling him back to his feet with surprising strength. She may have been a girl, she may have been a completely normal human being, but she was still stronger than him.

"Don't ever say something so stupid!" She wheezed as she hauled him to his feet.

Shinji stared at the girl in shock, panting as she held him up. She blinked back tears and he reached a hand to comfort her slowly.

"Don't wall yourself off. It doesn't help, you know it doesn't," Asuka told him with a shaky and uneven voice. Words that had once been his.

"… I'm not."

"You are!"

Shinji lowered his gaze unable to keep up the lie.

"Mari and Rei… gone. We're the only ones left…" Asuka said, the words coming out as a quiet breath. A grim reality that was theirs.

"I know," Shinji answered, his voice as low as hers. He felt tears well up in his own eyes. Together they were the Last of the Eva Pilots. The last of a group of teenagers that had fought and bled together, forming a family of their own.

"… I lost them too," Asuka whispered.

Misato. The last name that neither of them could say. Their temporary guardian's fate was in limbo, in-between life and death, and another face that they had both already prepared to mourn.

He didn't know when it happened, only that it did. Asuka had wobbled, almost falling herself, and Shinji reached to steady her, holding her up the way she had held him up.

"We stay together. We promised, remember?" Asuka told him.

"... we did," he admitted, and he smiled sadly. A real genuine smile, fraught with memories both joyful and sad. A bond that comes from shared pains and triumphs. Siblings. They were both alive. They had survived. That had to count for something. They were each the last vestiges of their old lives.

Shinji closed his eyes and nodded. Whatever their situation, whatever came next… he wasn't alone. For the first time since he'd woken, the first time since he'd lost Mari, it didn't hurt as much. He didn't know if it would ever stop hurting. This darkness that was his life, but here he found a light however small. No matter how much he tried to shy away from it.

Asuka wouldn't let him run away. She wouldn't let him wander off to wither from the inside, broken and alone. He knew she wouldn't because he hadn't let her. He had saved her, and now she had saved him.

She hugged him. He hugged her. It was unfamiliar, awkward, and real. For both of them. But not unpleasant. They held each other up. Both of them cried silently and grieved for their fallen friends.

---

Later that night.
Outside the military hospital.

The two teenagers sat together on a bench.

A cleaned-out food tray and a can of soda pop lay at Shinji's feet, with Asuka having practically forced him to get some food. Another can of open soda pop lay beside Asuka as the two of them sat together away from the bristle and noise of the cafeteria and its sea of unfamiliar faces.

They were the only two of their age in the entire base. Apart from the others but not alone. Not anymore.

"My mom. She's inside Unit 02. Isn't she?" Asuka asked, breaking the peaceful quiet they had held for several minutes now.

Shinji turned to face her on the bench. "It's complicated. She… a part of her lingers in the Eva. A remnant of her soul."

"A remnant?"

"… half. Half of her stayed with the Eva during the contact experiment. The other half… the other half stayed here in our world," Shinji said slowly.

Asuka sat stone-faced at the answer.

She stared straight ahead as her suspicions were confirmed. He could see her mind racing at a thousand miles an hour at the revelation. It wasn't a surprise to her, not after what she'd felt. She'd known. She'd known ever since Unit 02 had woken.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

She wasn't mad or upset. Shinji was grateful for that.

"Because we can't get her out. It's only a piece. Not the whole. No one can save her. And…" Shinji trailed off, breathing hard.

What do I tell her? That we didn't know if it would help. To know the truth behind what happened to her mother.

"Does it help? To know that a part of her is there. Trapped. I- never mind. I shouldn't have asked that-" Shinji said looking away.

"Is she in pain? There… in the Eva?" Asuka asked suddenly, her voice low. A little girl again even if for but a moment. A child asking about their mother.

"… no. She doesn't feel anything. She's not lucid most of the time. She's not aware at all until the Eva wakes. And even then, it's only temporary. It never lasts," Shinji answered honestly. He wasn't sure if this was the right decision, but after all this, he thought Asuka deserved to know.

Asuka nodded slowly.

"… It was almost like I could hear her voice again. I could almost see her. I felt her presence again. When she saved me," she said, her lips circling into a sad little smile.

Asuka's expression turned downcast as she continued saying, "I know we can't save her… but it was… nice… to feel that again."

Shinji sat there beside her not sure what to say. He'd never had that kind of bond. Not even with Yui. Not after he'd learned the truth. Maybe Misato, but what Asuka had was something deeper than he'd ever known. Something precious. Beautiful in its simplicity. He couldn't do much for her, but he could sit with her, he could be there for her the way she had been there for him.

Asuka understood so quickly. She'd already seen what happened to the 'other half' of her mother in the real world. Another victim.

He watched as Asuka's hand trembled, and he saw the fire behind her eyes. "They did that to her. They started the war. SEELE."

"They did. And Keel will spend the rest of his life in prison. It's not fair. Not even close. I know better than anyone. But it's the only way to get the others too. They'll pay for what they've done. Kaji and his boss will make sure of that," Shinji said, his face growing hard again. Even he couldn't hide the resentment from his voice, but there was truth in his words too.

Asuka exhaled deeply letting the anger go reluctantly. Some things were just out of their hands. That wasn't their mission no matter how much they may have wanted it to be. The fire never faded from her eyes, however. She would pilot, she would do what she needed to do.

She turned to him saying, "and you worked against them? For how long?"

She was almost in disbelief. At the knowledge that so much had been going on underneath her nose. The hidden war between the various players in the game.

"Ever since I came back from the Eva. When I got these eyes," Shinji answered softly.

Asuka peered into the strange red eyes that he had carried with him ever since he'd been absorbed into Eva Unit 01. They were almost a mirror image of the eyes that Rei had had. Hard to believe that it had only been months ago. It felt like years.

"That long? Working against… against SEELE and Nerv," Asuka said, mulling the idea over.

Shinji nodded.

"You were a spy," Asuka continued in an awe-struck voice.

"No. I was a teenager. It was him. My Other. Kaji. Ritsuko. They were the real masterminds," Shinji said. He dismissed the notion with as light a tone as he could manage, shrugging the idea off.

"You played your part. You tried to warn me about Nerv," Asuka said.

"It was something I could do. I wanted to tell you. To tell Misato, to tell… more. But my Other wanted to keep the circle small. Less risk. Humph, so much for that now," Shinji said sighing.

Gendo vs Keel, Shinji thought somberly. Two men that had shaken the world itself. Both defeated. The war between them had upended everything. No more secrets. Countless people caught in the crossfire despite his Other's best efforts. Yet, Asuka and he were together again. That counted. It was wrong to think otherwise.

"… I killed people," Asuka whispered slowly.

Shinji gasped and stared at her horrified.

Asuka took a long drink of her soda, coming to grips with the words and the weight they carried. She raised her hand staring at it as the memories came flooding back.

"When the JSSDF sent in the air force. They swarmed my Eva and I swung to force them back. I hit two of the fighter jets. I saw the planes disappear into a red mist… I keep thinking about the pilots. Who they were? If they had families. I have nightmares sometimes. About them, and that creepy old man with a gun in my face," Asuka said.

Shinji watched as Asuka's hand clenched into a fist. He reached out and placed his hand atop hers. Her fist loosened at the touch.

"It wasn't supposed to go down like that. I wasn't fast enough. I couldn't-" Shinji said.

"If you keep blaming yourself for everything, I'm going to hit you again," Asuka cut in sharply.

Shinji blinked in surprise and awkwardly began to move away. Asuka's hand closed on his. She didn't let him leave just yet. She had more to say.

Asuka gave him a small smile saying, "stop carrying the weight of the world. You said it yourself. You were a kid. We all were. It wasn't us. It was them. Those old men that tried to play God. Bunch of assholes."

Shinji almost chuckled at that. A breath of fresh air. A reprieve however small from the crushing guilt he had tried to shoulder on his own since waking. He was glad he had Asuka around to knock some sense into him.

Asuka frowned and seemed to realize that she was still holding his hand. She blinked slowly and awkwardly let him go pulling her hand back to her lap as if not knowing what to do with it.

Shinji calmly pulled his own hand back. He knew that she wasn't always good at this kind of thing. Asuka could be nice when she wanted to. She just needed more practice.

"I have them too. The nightmares," he admitted quietly.

"… about her?"

"Both of them. Mari. Rei."

Silence followed the exchange. Both of them downcast. Both of them remembered their friends. There was a bond, a sibling-like relationship, that formed between those who had faced life and death together. Between those who struggled through trial and tribulation as one. It seemed a peculiar and cruel foresight in life, that you are not aware of the bond as it is forming. Only after.

"Should have been nicer to them. And Rei? I should have- I don't know," Asuka mumbled quietly.

"She had a hard life. Harder than both of ours," Shinji said, his voice growing heavy.

He thought of his father and wanted to find some cruel enjoyment in that monster's fate. Just like with Keel, he found none. Hate and revenge were pointless. They didn't undo the crimes. They didn't bring Rei back. They didn't bring Mari back.

"At least she isn't suffering anymore," Shinji said finally. It took a lot for him to say the words, to reach that conclusion. It wasn't much comfort. They had to continue forward. They had their mission.

Asuka breathed in deeply saying, "we're really going to do this then? Fight the Hybrid?"

Shinji nodded. They had no choice. No matter how much it hurt.

"Whatever happens. We stay together, right?"

"We promised," Asuka answered firmly.

The future was uncertain. Their lives were turbulent and difficult. But they weren't alone. And that made all the difference in the world. A glimmer in the dark. A simple act of beauty. It was enough.

Asuka looked off into the distance, her eyes going over the Eva Units parked inside the military base. The titans towered over the surrounding area and pierced the night sky. Eva Units 00, 02, and 03. She raised her soda up into the air and spoke quietly. A toast to absentee friends.

"To Mari and Rei."

Shinji raised his own soda, what little liquid remaining rattling audibly as he did so.

"To Mari and Rei."

---

I really wanted to have a kind of 'breather' with this chapter. A chance to let the characters decompress whilst the finale builds up. A time for the survivors to catch up and process everything before the end if you will.

Hope it wasn't too long. It's a character drama and it's mostly about the interactions. We start this chapter bleak but we do end on a lighter note. A spark of hope amid the despair. We've seen a lot of low points in the story, but there will be high points as well. I promise!

What did you think about Keel's fate? The deal?

What did you think about the reunion of Shinji and the Broken Man? Asuka and Shinji's reunion? Maybe our boy isn't so broken after all?

Thanks for Reading and please Review!