Fight Club

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

"Leah, dinner!"

Leah turned off the booming pop song playing on the radio and rushed out of her room. Her mom's voice had been tense. She'd probably been calling her over and over.

The stew on the stove and the biscuits in the oven smelled done. Yet Sue was in the middle of the kitchen, wearing a bandana and rubber gloves as she scoured the floor. Leah started to wash her hands to help serve, but Sue shooed her away, ordering her to sit.

Could this be about her? No, impossible. Something smaller, or else Sue would've swung open her bedroom door and started yelling then and there. Only after Leah was safely at the table with a glass of grape juice did she dare poke the bear. "So what have I done this time?"

"You -" Sue took a deep breath. "Don't joke, Leah. Have you called Rebecca or Rachel lately?"

"Not in a few weeks." Rachel was swamped with work and classes. That girl was determined to be at the top of her class, not a small fish in a big pond. She was good with checking in, sending an email every week or so, but there was only so much support one could show through a computer screen. Leah missed her. Even though most of their friendship was in the past, Rachel was one of the most sincere friends she had.

And Rebecca… Leah sighed, taking a big gulp of juice. Rebecca was somewhere, with her new boyfriend. Billy had granted her a weekend trip with Solomon, once he met the guy's aunt and uncle, who seemed like good folks. That weekend trip turned into a weeklong vacation. Ultimately, last week, Rebecca announced she didn't want to come home. At all. She didn't tell this to Billy. The news traveled through a reluctant Rachel who was too exhausted to be unnerved.

"You haven't talked to Rebecca in a few weeks?" Sue repeated. "How could you?!"

"Mom you don't even like the girl."

"I said she was a little boy-crazy as a kid, not that I wanted her to run off the rez with a stranger!" Sue pulled off her gloves. "If only Rachel or you could have gotten through to her."

So did Leah. But this was something unpredictable. Becca wasn't that ambitious, but she had dreams. She wanted to make jewelry and craft pottery. She liked creating and building things, and her artistic pursuits came before her boyfriends over the years, who came and went with the seasons. For her to move in with Solomon was something of a shock.

"I do wish I had looked after her better," Leah said. "But who knows? They could break up."

Her mother's olive skin reddened. She looked about ready to burst. Her voice turned shrill. "We'll see!"

"What's wrong?"

"Billy called. He said Rebecca would return to take her GED before she disappeared for good. So there's that." Sue wiped the counter with increasing fury. "And then - and then -"

"Mom, it's not good for you to be this stressed."

"Hush, girl." She threw down the rag and stared out the window. "Billy tells me, Rebecca is engaged!"

Leah's hands crackled with a burst of light, so strong she hid them under the table. "What do you mean, engaged?"

"An engagement! A betrothal! An espousal!"

"We get it, spelling bee," Harry consoled her, entering the kitchen. He kissed his wife and took over the dinner, which had gone from simmering to boiling as Sue had now moved on to cleaning out the fridge.

"How can you be so casual about this, Harry?" Sue demanded. "Poor Billy. Both of his daughters have gone off. How's he supposed to take care of Jacob all alone?"

"Oh, Sue, Billy can look after himself just fine. And he and Jacob spend half their time at Charlie's house. There are more pressing matters."

"Like?"

His voice went low. "Like the Cullens."

Leah felt the hair on the back of her neck stand up.

Sue pursed her lips. "Really, Harry? The Cullens? Do you think I give a crap what some weirdo doctor is doing? I wish you and Billy would wash your hands of it."

"No, that's the thing. Billy has washed his hands of it. Completely." Harry hesitated, glancing at Leah. "When they came back last winter, he was livid. But now he's saying we should leave the matter alone. Tell the tribe not to give them a hard time."

Leah focused on the tile of the wall, deep in thought. What had Ella done to buy Billy's compliance? Obviously, it had worked, but just like with the mission, the fairy queen had been resistant in sharing the details. Had mentioning the slain Quileute girl been enough to guilt them? Why was Billy told, and not her father? Did Old Quil know? Like as not, Billy Black knew about the fairies working with the Cullens. So he'd piece together that Leah was the third point on the triangle.

It'd been months. So what was he waiting for?

Sue was getting angrier by the second. "They're just oddballs. As long as they stay off the rez, what does it matter to me what they do? We have more important things to worry about."

Harry rubbed his eyes. "Yes, dear."

She pointed to Leah with a wooden spoon. "Did you know she was going to run off? Are you sure she said nothing?"

Leah closed her eyes so they wouldn't roll. "For the last time, I didn't know a thing about it." Inspiration flowed in. "They're just young and in love. Whether it was the right decision, time will tell."

"My daughter the sage," Harry smiled. Yet his doting look was loaded with meaning, with curiosity.

Sue wasn't so easily mollified. "Never elope!" she commanded. Then she grabbed an ice pack from the freezer and pressed it to her forehead. "Leah, get up and serve. Can't you see dinner is ready? It's about to burn."

Leah hopped up right away, eager to distract herself from the father who knew too much and the mother who knew too little.

"That's not how you do it," Leah sniggered. She spun again, showing Emmett the dance move.

"Like this?" He awkwardly twisted like a dying bug.

"Now you're just being dumb."

During her senior year, supposedly the time where you were meant to make lasting memories with your peers, her social life had been reduced to the undead, but they certainly had more spirit than most of the alive. If the twins were with her, things might have been different, but as it was, she found it difficult to connect with her classmates when she had the onus of being the soon-to-be savior for the northwest fairy population. Yippee.

It wasn't bad. She missed having friends that would hang on the beach with her or could sleep over her house. But Alice was her own special blend of wise and bubbly. And Emmett was her kind of hilarious. Their parents were so sweet that after a while you forgot how unnaturally young they looked.

The blondes were alright. They were both territorial, but she could understand why. When Jasper wasn't having one of his difficult days, he seemed indifferent to her presence, but she sensed he wasn't one for dramatic displays. At least, that's what Alice maintained. Rosalie was even cooler in her address, but at least she acknowledged her. Leah privately resolved to never break the ice so long as the girl didn't outright insult her. Who gave a crap if Barbie-vamp liked her or not? They didn't need to braid each other's hair.

Leah looked to the corner where Edward was sitting, staring out the window like a child put on time-out. She expected him to laugh at that last thought, but he stayed staring. And he said she frowned a lot. Look in the mirror, boy!

There were a myriad of faces Edward could make. Where he thought he was subtle, he wasn't. Different degrees of scowling, ranging from "don't talk to me" to "burn in hell". The left brow raised was wariness. The right raised was a critique. A light smile to blend in. A petulant smirk. And a true grin, showing teeth, no longer hiding anything. Just slightly crooked, the closest he'd get to imperfect.

But now, he'd gone blank, deathly still, just as he had when they'd sat in Ella's study as she proclaimed them her Hunter and her Guardian.

She walked over to him. "How's Patrick?"

He gave her the briefest of glances. "Fine."

"So did you ever figure out? Is he your grandson?"

A faint ripple in his expression. "How on earth would I have a grandson?"

"You can be secretive."

He sighed, leaning back. "I asked a few probing questions. Through his father, Patrick's the great grand-nephew of my father. Which makes you…"

"Next to nothing if you were Quileute. Damn. Your dad had some strong genes to make you look so alike."

Edward grunted and turned back to his window. She blinked. Edward...grunt? That was a new one.

She glanced at the clock, then turned to Emmett and Alice. "Okay, guys we ought to get going."

Emmett picked her up in a bear hug. "Fine but I challenge you to a dance-off if I lose."

"Put her down, Emmett," Edward commanded, still pretty much ignoring the three of them.

Alice intervened. "Yeah, she's going to have to be in one piece for tonight."

Edward's ears perked up. "Where are you going?"

Emmett jabbed a thumb in Leah's direction. "Me and the kid are going to fight."

"What?!"

"Yeah," Leah confirmed. "I have my permission slip signed and everything." She held up a scrap of paper. Fairy communication was iffy at best. Despite the princess's efforts, computers and other technology had yet to reach mainstream there, and though Echo had a telephone, she rarely used it. Instead, goldfinches and river larks would fly through Leah's window and chirp something into her ear. Unfortunately, she had yet to master birdspeak beyond "Hi" and "Poo". So, Echo had taken to writing little notes and attaching them to the birds' legs.

This week's message had only said, "Spar." When asked about it, Troy said he rarely saw Echo outside of the castle. Apparently, she rarely left the queen's side these days. This development troubled Leah, so she had tucked it away to reflect on later.

In response, Edward spluttered objections. "But you can't. Spar with Alice, it's an equal match. Fighting Emmett would be like fighting a natural disaster."

"Thank you," Emmett said.

"Believe it or not," said Alice, "I don't think me and Leah are equal. I don't care for sparring and it's all she does these days. It's impossible for me to detect an outcome, but I don't think it'd be a proper fight."

"Then what about Rosalie? Emmett, go get her," Edward insisted.

"Pfft! Do you even know Rose? You better have a hefty bribe," Emmett chuckled. "No offense, Leah."

"None taken."

"Besides, Rose would never ruin my fun. Unlike certain siblings."

Edward ran a hand through his hair, looking increasingly distressed. "Then, then…"

Leah tried to appease him. "Look, Edward, your concern for me is touching, but we really gotta go. It's a school night and I need sleep to function."

With that, Leah, Emmett, and Alice left through the front door, talking and laughing. They were about ten paces out when they stopped, noticing footsteps behind them. Something akin to a raging baby dinosaur. They turned.

"What do you want?" Leah asked.

"Isn't it obvious?" Edward grumbled, not looking at them but at the grass, drilling a glare into it like it was responsible for the world's troubles. "I'm coming."

"To judge?"

"To cry?"

"To bitch?"

"No!" His reaction was so childish Leah imagined him punching his palm to punctuate the word. "I want to spar."

Emmett looked to the sky and threw his arms out. "Will I ever get what I want?!"

Alice tugged Leah's sleeve. "You know, this might be a good idea. You're not nearly as experienced or as strong, but your fairy friend fought him and was barely harmed."

Leah was indifferent. She didn't care if she fought Edward or Emmett or an imaginary friend. Echo said to spar, so spar she would. All that mattered now was getting herself ready, especially now that her tutor was basically grounded.

Alice treed herself for a better viewpoint. Emmett was coaxed into doing the same so he wouldn't jump in like a hyper puppy.

Not far off from the Cullen house, Edward and Leah stood in a clearing and faced each other.

Focusing, she turned her gaze inward, searching for her light. Now that it was unlocked, she didn't need to pull from nature to tap into it - it was a part of her like a limb. When she caught it, she concentrated, using it to reinforce her muscles and bones, encasing her body in an all-over shield. This was one of the most vital skills of a soldier, something fairies only bothered with if they were entering the human world for an extended period of time. For Leah, it would only last several minutes, but then again, so would this match. Alas, she felt like a novice without a sword or spear. Hand-to-hand was a bit beyond her, but that was what practice was for.

Yards from her, Edward barely moved, looking as at ease as if he were standing in a checkout line.

She cracked her neck. "Well, well, Red, we meet again."

"You're always here. We never meet."

"If I win, you have to tell me why you're in a funk," she challenged.

"If I win, you owe me one."

She straightened in confusion. "One what?"

Alice shouted the signal. And then he was lunging for her.

She held up an arm to block, but he only grazed her side, flicking her off balance. She stumbled but caught herself. He was still leagues stronger and faster, but she had to try to match him. She swung, twisting her full strength into the punch. He caught her wrist, spun her out. Edward charged again and she twirled away. Again and again, he jabbed, he kicked, he struck, and she dodged each hit with seconds to spare.

"Fight me already!" she shouted, breaking the night's silence.

"I am."

"No you're not! You're missing on purpose!"

"Fine!" Edward punched her, square on the arm. Leah went flying across the clearing and skittered into a tree.

First her brain spazzed out, flickering on and off. Damn, that hurt. Then she raised her head to see Edward looking down at her, panicked and regretful.

"Finally!" She walloped him in the face. Her hand stung like hell, but it sure was satisfying. They went on like that, quick attacks on both ends, hers viscous but clumsy, his precise but light. It was more like teaching, the way he'd use the most basic moves, she could tell, so she'd catch on and repeat them.

"This is boring!" Emmett yelled. "Kill each other!"

Leah felt the shield around her body wavering, the sign that energy was running out. Maybe a minute left. She kept her body rigid. Relaxation could wait.

Edward slowed, letting his next counterblow meet air. "Break?"

But she tackled him, putting him in a headlock. "Say uncle!"

"This would be a horrible idea in combat!" He flipped her over his head and flattened her in the dirt. She kneed him in the side and had him pinned for just a fraction of a second. He was so slippery! Leah scrambled over him, and pressed her heel into his neck. "I win!"

His hand shot out, grabbing her ankle. The world swirled as she fell and stilled when his arms were around her torso, her body locked in place against his chest. Out the corner of her eye she could see his face, the smirk in place. His teeth, gleaming white in the moonlight, were inches from her neck. "Teeth-to-throat," he said softly. "My win."

This was the tightest he'd ever held her. Her stomach flipped. Shockingly, her mind jumped to the vampire from that night, two years ago.

Slowly, the red-eyed man crept closer, cornering her into the nearest tree. Cold, steely hands latched onto her arms decisively. "Easy, dear," he whispered, inching closer, a sadistic smile on his face.

Leah shivered, which turned into shaking, so faintly, she didn't realize it until she tried to push herself away and her arm fell limply by her side.

Edward's grip slackened. "Leah."

As he moved from her, her muscles lost their tension and she nearly fell over. "I'm fine, I'm just being silly."

The voice in her head tsk-tsked. Scared of Edward? That was very silly, bordering on offensive. This man would never hurt her.

Not like that, another voice told her. But maybe -

"I can't believe you threw the match to him, Leah!" Alice exclaimed, jumping down.

"Still, it was a decent fight," Emmett saluted. "Next weekend you both better let me go."

As they walked back, Leah tried to keep her mind off of the match. The others raced ahead of them. But Edward was burning a hole into the back of her skull like he had Superman's laser eyes.

She wheeled around. "What?"

"Back there. Were you afraid of me?"

"I told you I'm not."

He stepped closer, but didn't embrace her or clasp her hand. like she expected, like she was used to. She only felt the cold from his skin in the small space between them, pulling her into their own little bubble. Black eyes watched her warily, as if she were the more dangerous one. He was thirsty, yet he'd fought her. Why?

"Were you afraid of me?" he repeated. She heard nothing but curiosity, no hurt, no criticism, but both, she knew, were present.

Leah looked to her feet. She was such a baby.

"Don't be afraid," he reassured her. "If you're afraid of me, you'll be afraid of them."

She nodded, feeling ashamed. Of course. Edward knew what was important.

He raised a hand, and she waited for the pat on the shoulder. Her shiver returned but not the shaking. Oh. He just swiped some dirt from his face.

"And," Edward added, "you did fine."

She huffed. "Fine?"

"You did well. It must be very difficult to keep up with me without using the rest of your powers."

"And I kept up. Same with dancing, huh?"

"Yes. Like with dancing. Soon, we will fight again, if you like."

She eyed him skeptically. "Even though you hate it?"

"I don't. At least, not anymore. I was wrong." His eyes bore into hers. "I will do everything in my power to make you the strongest warrior. We will complete the task. I swear it."

She had no response. It didn't matter. His face began to cloud over again and the faraway look in his eye returned. He brushed past her and walked on.

Saturday, May 21, 2005

Wings, it said.

Wings. And not the delicious chicken kind. Leah smacked herself on the forehead. "Shit."

Would Echo know if she played dumb? Maybe she should hold the messenger hostage until she saw the princess again. The cyan-feathered bird flew off of her windowsill with a harsh squawk, sensing her irritation. Leah showered and changed, all while keeping up her stream of curses.

At the breakfast table, Seth looked up from inhaling his waffles to yell, "Mom, Leah's using offensive language!"

"Knock it the hell off, Leah!" their mother shouted back.

Leah switched to grumbling nonsense words as she got in her car and drove. She had a few exams to prepare for, and graduation ceremony practice started this week. There wasn't a lot of time to get this done. If only Echo could have visited or gave her more information than a one-word order.

Her cell phone rang.

"Where are you?" Alice sang from the other end. "Wait, I hear the engine. Call me back when you've stopped."

"Don't hang up. This is probably the only chance we'll have to speak.

"Why?"

She reached a red light and leaned against her window. "I'm looking for my wings. Apparently, it is possible for a non-fairy to find theirs with a lot of concentration. It could take me hours, if not days. But I don't have days."

"Shoot. I really wanted you to come with us to Port Angeles."

"Who is going?"

"Me, Jasper, everybody...except Edward. He's been so weird these days."

Leah rolled her eyes. "Tell me about it."

"Jasper says he's in deep conflict over something but I can't see what it is. It's like he's keeping a lid on it. Maybe you should go cheer him up when you're done."

Her heart ached a little, but the truth of the matter was, she couldn't be there for Edward when he was refusing to speak to her. Not flat-out ignoring her, but giving distant responses to everything she said lately. If something had happened, he wouldn't spill it. "I don't have the time Alice."

Oddly, Alice's voice seemed brighter. "No matter. Maybe he'll come find you."

"Find me? Why?"

"He's been eavesdropping, but he just ran out the house. The drama queen is either going to run to your side or sulk in a river. I'm a good guesser, even if you've fallen out of my field of vision, so to speak."

Since it hated the Olympic Peninsula, the sun was invisible, but its warmth persisted. In jeans and a sweater, it was just enough to keep her content as she hiked. Skipping around the forest with her backpack on, it was like being in a modern storybook - maybe Little Red Riding Hood or Goldilocks. Hey, she thought, Echo probably felt like this anytime she went anywhere. This would almost be fun if she weren't nervous.

Coming to the bluffs, she sat and took out her telescope, a gift from her tenth birthday, to look out at the coast. Far below, she could see the gray waters crashing onto the boulders below. Everything was a swirl of dust and ashes, up close, even with the invigorating fresh air. Yet there was something sweeter underlying the scent of the grass.

She looked over her shoulder. "Why do you always come to me when I'm alone?"

Edward, like an apparition, seemed to float over towards her. "Isn't it obvious?"

"No."

"You're always about to call me, so I save us both the trouble."

"How presumptuous."

He shrugged, no smirk, no smile, not even really looking at her.

Without a word, she got up and turned back into the woods. No matter. If she pushed, he might clam up more. They had a goal to focus on. Somewhere in this wilderness, she hoped, she would find her wings.

"It's that simple?" Edward asked as they walked. "They'll literally be waiting for you?"

"Not simple, no. You could find your wings anywhere in nature, on the trunk of a tree, under a rock, in the middle of the sea. But you must actively look, they won't hit you in the face when you're standing in your backyard. And the quieter you are the better. It's easy for fairies. They find theirs without much effort, usually when they're still kids. But me? I need to try."

"So was now a bad time?"

She pulled an apple from her backpack. Food helped you think clearly. At least if Edward was with her, she reasoned, he'd be able to see something through her eyes that she couldn't. "No, not really."

"Then I'd like my prize for winning our match."

She paused, her apple half-way to her lips. "Which is?"

"I want to play Twenty Questions."

She shot him a sidelong glance. What a waste. "Really? Twenty Questions?"

He nodded solemnly. "You must answer honestly."

"I'm always honest."

"Good." His tone disagreed, though. He could read her mind but he didn't believe her? "I'll still allow you one pass, in case you become uncomfortable."

"Whatever, Redward."

He didn't speak for a while and there was just the crunch of their footsteps on leaves. Even with her new companion, Leah used her telescope. She wanted to be the one to see her wings first, to catch the lavender or peach or mint edges in the distance, glimmering like a jewel. Sure, the help was nice, but it would feel like cheating, like she had simply hired a flunky to do her work.

Edward fell several paces behind her and made no move to catch up. So it startled her when he asked, "What do you want more than anything in the world?"

She picked up her fallen telescope. "Nice opening. With these kinds of questions, we'll be here all day."

"This game has no expiration date. We can pause and play as we choose."

She laughed. "Very sneaky. That's not so much of a waste, then." She hummed. "More than anything in the world, I want world peace."

"No, you don't."

"Deep, deep, deep down I do. But after that, I want everyone I love to be safe and happy."

"And after that?"

"That's another question, bud."

He harrumphed. "Two. Where do you see yourself in ten years?"

"Easy." She shrugged. "I want to be a doctor."

"You do?"

"Yes. I don't know what kind, but I want to help people on the reservation. I'm going to give back to my community." This was the brick in her life where everything else was made of straw. She may have gotten off track, but she was going to pull herself together. College would be her fresh start.

Edward caught up with her. She could hear his voice coming closer. "Just one more today."

"Go ahead."

"Three. When did you know you loved Sam?"

She almost tripped. Kicking the twig out of her way, she sighed. "That's a strange question."

"I won't argue that, but it's not a ridiculous one."

And he was right. They had talked about anything and everything over the last few months, including her ex-boyfriend. Didn't she want him to open up about what was bothering him? Sometimes you had to give trust to get trust, her mother often advised.

Leah leaned against a tree. The words came to her slowly. "I knew Sam all my life. He was older than me so I didn't get a chance to know him too well. But in middle school, something changed. I'd look at him, walking on the beach or in the cafeteria and I'd...see him. Really see him, you know? So I changed my route to class so I could go by his classroom. I'd ride my bike past his house each time I went out. Weird, right?"

Edward nearly smiled. "No."

"That's sweet of you." She tossed her apple core into a bush. "In high school, he hung out with my friend Dan, so we saw more of each other. He always stood out among the guys - he was kinder, more responsible. He stood up for people. He didn't talk back to adults or swipe things from the convenience store. Kind of a dork, actually. I admired him, almost as much as I liked him. So when he asked me out, at first I thought it was another one of his good deeds."

Edward raised a brow. "No boy would ever ask a girl out as a favor."

"Try telling that to an insecure teenager. I was so focused on picking at my face and sucking in my stomach I started to forget the parts of myself I liked. But when Sam convinced me he liked me for me, I remembered." She looked to the sky, where she imagined the sun to be. "That was when I knew I loved him."

Edward leaned against her tree, as it was wide enough for three people. She could feel him watching her, but didn't meet his eyes. "Does that sound stupid?" she asked softly.

"Not at all."

"It wasn't just him making me feel better. It was a million things I'll probably never sort out, but I loved him so much."

"Loved, not love?"

Her smile turned bitter. "Thinking in the present tense never healed a broken heart, now did it?"

She stepped away but he stopped her with another question. "Is it still?"

"Is it what?"

"Is your heart still broken?"

The question was whispered, but magnified in the quiet of the forest.

"What do you think?" she asked without feeling. "C'mon."

They moved silently through the dark, him reading her every move, her sensing his. When they heard familiar sounds coming from the mountains, Leah was suddenly glad to not be alone. "Don't let it go to your head," she told Edward.

But he wasn't looking at her, just ahead. His muscles were tensed and his fingers fidgeted as if playing invisible keys. His tongue flitted out to swipe across his lips.

"You're hungry."

"A little."

'Then stop wasting time with me. Go.'

He looked at her like she was crazy. "Are you sure?"

Was he uncomfortable eating in front of others? That wasn't very healthy. (Not that she was one to dictate normal behavior.) Then again, this wasn't normal eating. It was feeding. Just the word sounded disturbing when linked to a person.

'Do what you feel is best. You shouldn't put yourself through unnecessary pain.'

"It doesn't cause any damage," he replied.

"But it hurts." She gave him her best this-discussion-is-over face.

They walked on. When they reached the mountains, Edward warned her to stay away, so she climbed into a high tree branch. A babbling brook nearby cooled the air around them and she rolled up her pant legs, planning to dip her feet later.

He was a splotch of white and brown up ahead, but her view was cinematic. He seemed to crawl, rather than just climb up the rock, in that same slippery manner as he had when she fought him. Through her microscope, she could see the muscles of his arms contracting as he crouched low, how very much alive he looked right then, though no ordinary man had ever looked like this. She heard the growl building in his chest and pictured the venom pooling in his mouth. It was a different kind of Edward, not even Red, but instead a version he locked up for ninety percent of time, the what instead of the who.

The lion didn't stand a chance. For a second, he growled his pitiful mew, poised to leap. Poor kitty. Edward lurched forward simultaneously, tearing into its neck midair. The life went out of the animal instantly.

Leah privately wondered if the battle was so quick because there was an audience.

Edward held the animal as if it weighed nothing. His eyes slid shut, his throat bobbing as he drank - no, drained the body. His head lolled back for a second, and then, like a shot, he bit down again on a different spot. A drop of blood appeared on the corner of his mouth and trailed down his jaw, painting red over white, until it dried into the collar of his shirt. He only looked up once, directly at her. How had his black eyes seemed so dull before when now they shined?

She put down her telescope and dropped down to wet her feet in the water. He'd kill anything that came her way.

The rest of the day was not kind to them. Despite being well-fed, Edward's spirits were not lifted and that worsened her anxieties. Twice they argued about which direction to head in. Her clothes became suffocating and her hands were sticky from eating. This was useless. How did you find something that was supposed to find you? The woods no longer seemed enchanting as they had before. Her wings never appeared, if they even existed.

On instinct, she waited for him to get in her car. She wasn't sure how she knew he'd walked to meet her, she just did. They spent the drive in a meaty silence, in which Leah found herself wanting to ask her own questions, but for the life of her, she couldn't get her words out. Edward's pensive expression told her she wouldn't get many answers.

When they reached the Cullen house, she debated a bit, before stopping in to say hello to the others. The lights were always on at night, and she wondered why they just didn't leave them off. Why waste electricity when you could see just fine in the dark?

In the living room, Alice ran up to her with a shopping bag. "I got you something!"

"Oh, you shouldn't have!" Leah pulled out a shrug made of peacock feathers. "Oh, you really shouldn't have."

"Oh, that's mine! Yours is at the bottom."

Her gift was a pair of red platform sandals. They were cute, even if she had no place to wear them. "Thanks, Alice. But this is a bit much for…"

"Please, don't give them back. If you do, I swear I'll throw them away."

Leah hugged the shoes to her chest. "Never!"

Esme sat down on a couch across from Edward. "Where did you two go today?"

Rosalie wrinkled her nose, looking at the nearly invisible spots of blood on his shirt. "Clearly, he went hunting."

"Lion?" Jasper noted. "Someone was feeling fancy."

It was bizarre to be around people who could see things you didn't, have opinions on things you never would. It was like joining an already-established friend group. In a way, she had.

Rosalie wrinkled her nose. "I hope you were able to control yourself."

Edward's face remained passive, but his tone was laced with a threat. "I'm always in control."

"Here we go again," Emmett muttered, flipping through television channels.

"Oh, yeah?" Rose insinuated. "So you stopped yourself?"

From what? No one else in the room interrupted the two siblings, despite the venom flowing between them. Leah knew the two were thorns in each other's sides, but it was hard to tell what had sparked Rosalie's anger or why Edward was reacting so sharply to it.

Edward rested his face on his palm. "I've stopped myself before."

"I suppose after thousands you're pretty full."

"What are you talking about?" Leah wondered.

"Absolutely nothing," Edward dismissed.

"Do you really think it's safe to take a human with you while you're like that?" Rose scolded.

"I can look after myself, thank you," Leah interrupted. She was getting sick of this.

The vampires looked to her as if surprised she was there.

Rosalie's face twisted up, but then softened. "Of course," she agreed, no sarcasm, no implications. It was the opposite of the reaction Leah had expected, but welcome all the same.

Edward rolled his eyes and turned to Esme. "Leah needed to complete a task relating to her training." He described the process.

"How'd it go?" Carlisle asked, eager to lighten the mood.

"Abysmal," Leah answered, crushing his hopes.

"Don't say that."

"What? I failed. It happens. Now I'm going to go lay down before I drive again." She dashed upstairs before they could call her back. She didn't go into one of the second-floor rooms, though she was sure they wouldn't mind much if she did. She went straight to the top floor, Edward's room. As soon as the door closed behind her, it opened again.

She held up a hand, but Edward marched over to her. "You didn't fail. You tried something incredibly difficult for the first time."

She wiped her face, still dirty and sweaty. "Yet I found my light for the first time."

"Then be proud of what you've accomplished. Stop worrying over the things you aren't and celebrate the things you are."

She felt her panic rising, melting into anger. "But Ed, I can't celebrate," she enunciated. "There's no time. I need to be the Guardian. I need to graduate. I need to keep Billy off our backs and I need to look out for you." Didn't he get it? She had too much on her plate for her to fail. Every moment was crucial. Every mistake was a step backwards.

He shook his head. "You don't have to look out for me." His voice was strong, offering no room for argument. It was a voice she wanted to believe in.

She tilted her head, examining his face, half of it lit by the moonlight, the other half in shadow with her. "What was that back there?" she asked.

"Rosalie likes to tell stories," he said, as if that explained everything. But she was too tired to press for more.

Instead, he stepped closer. Her breath caught. His arm grazed her shoulder as he pulled a book from the shelf behind her. "Here. Read."

Leah looked at him quizzically. To Dust by Sebastian Roth. She reached for it, then stopped.

"If I remember correctly, you do like to read, don't you?"

She scratched her arm, unsure. "I do...but I like reading what I know, what I'm comfortable with. Something I've been taught in school or watched a movie based on."

He placed the book in her hand. "You would've never grown to love those other stories if you didn't give them a chance."

"It's not self-help?" she asked skeptically.

He laughed quietly. "An allegory I read often when I first went away to college."

"Intriguing."

"I hope so."

And finally, he smiled, the real, honest grin.. She didn't realize how much she missed it until then.

Edward's eyes were on hers, but her gaze was tracing his mouth, outlining the shape, committing his face to memory. He was coming back to her, from wherever he'd gone off.

But then his face began to close down again, going blank.

She tore herself away, frustrated. "I should go freshen up before -"

"Wait," he called, grabbing her arm. His hand was frost on her skin. She looked up at him, eyes wide.

He came so close she could feel his breath on her cheek, tickling her ear. "Do you…"

"Yes?"

"If you liked today, maybe we could go up to Eden?" There was a forest out east, known for its lush flower varieties. As commercialized as Eden had come, some parts were practically untouched by the restaurants and photo shoots. It was a good idea, but it surprised her to hear it from him.

"Oh, I -"

"Not soon, but maybe next -"

"Saturday?"

He grinned, even wider this time. "Saturday?"

"Unless that -"

"No, it's perfect."

She nodded. "Goodnight, Edward."

His hand dropped. "Goodnight, Leah."

That night, she dreamed of dancing on piano keys.