A/N: What have you guys been up to? It's been exactly a month! For me, it was a dull but peaceful break. Christmas dinner was delicious and on NYE, I had a Shazam! (the best DCEU film) movie night. As always, I've been writing, but I had more time to spend on music and exercise.

Something awesome: there is a playlist for Monsters! You can check out the spotify link or the song list on my profile and tumblr. I also include each chapter's song at the top.

"Size of the Moon" - Pinegrove

PART FOUR: Afterlife

He Waits in Shadow

Thursday, July 7, 2005

He had swum in the Arctic Ocean and even gazed up at the snowy volcanoes of Kamchatka, but temperature remained an evasive thing. He could feel it, but he couldn't feel it - it couldn't pain or discomfort him. That didn't stop him from disliking certain climates or buildings. Like the hospital, which was already cool, but something about the blank walls and spotless floors of the hospital made the space seem freezing, more unsettling and uncomfortable.

Edward stood in his father's office, looking out the window behind the desk, watching cars pull in and out of the parking lot. At least it was a somewhat slow day. The level was quiet, too, with only seven other offices and a receptionist's desk around the corner.

Carlisle leaned back in his chair and clucked his tongue.

Edward didn't turn. "Say it."

"I don't think all is lost." Carlisle slid the clipboard across the desk. "Here. You can read this as well as I could."

Edward scanned the graphs and vitals listed before him. "How can this be? It looks like nothing's wrong with me."

"That's what I see. Nothing wrong."

Edward looked up. "Run the tests again."

"Edward, you have to keep in mind that we only tested your venom. There's been no DNA testing." Carlisle's mind wandered, wishing he could perform a better examination on vampires, that he could access the nerves, the cells. If only the skin was breakable. At least, in a manner that didn't cause extreme pain.

Edward shook his head. "If there's something wrong with my senses, it should be evident in my biochemistry."

"There would be," the doctor agreed. "Unless this isn't a biological problem."

Edward raised a brow. Anyone else he would dismiss, but not Carlisle. "How?"

"This is magical, Edward. And there is so much unknown information about vampires - medically, of course, and historically. Who knows what the effects could be of a fairy spell -"

"Curse."

" - on a vampire?"

Edward nodded curtly. "What can be done?"

"It may be a problem only they could help you with."

Edward resisted a scoff. He didn't want to rely on the fairies anymore than he had, especially in the midst of power struggles and secret investigations. "Until this mission is over, I think it's something I can handle." Besides, it'll be useful to not want to murder his best friend and a squad of fairies the entire time.

"The mission," Carlisle repeated. Edward imagined worry lines cropping up over his father's face. 'Must you go?'

Edward tensed. "You know I have to, Carlisle. It isn't up for negotiation anymore. I gave my word I'd do anything to protect Leah and keep the family out of harm's way."

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. It was wrong of me to say."

"It's alright." And besides, if there was selfishness in Carlisle not wanting his son to be harmed, then it was beyond selfish for Edward to feel nothing towards his upcoming adventure but anticipation. No fear, just an eagerness to find answers and end this ordeal.

Carlisle waved him off. "I'll be praying."

"Why is the sky falling?" Leah asked, collapsing onto the black leather couch.

"Your teen angst does you no good." Edward shifted, pulling off his headphones.

"I'm just going to stay here in this room until I die," she said, curling up beside him.

"That's a very bad plan. I'll be the one bringing you food for the rest of your life."

She admitted that while he was excellent with the basics of cooking, he had a bit to learn in the way of seasoning. Cooking videos were helpful, but she insisted they kept the recipes too simple so anyone could follow them. It was an art he had yet to appreciate. He'd rather bake, if given the choice. Less room for experiment.

"That's fine. Just get take-out." She flashed a white grin. "I'll survive."

He matched her smile, knowing he probably looked foolish at best, frightening at worst.

Somedays he thought the pair of them were uncomplicated, like school children playing on a summer break. Other days, he thought he'd burst if they continued in this strange transitionary period between friendship and something more. It was something he couldn't process, but he didn't want to push Leah out of her comfort zone. She was happy, and most days, he was too.

She tapped his forehead. "Is that a deal?"

"If you think it's best."

Knowing she wanted him the way he wanted her should've been enough. But how long until she considered herself recovered from Sam Uley? And should he look forward to that day because of his own gain? Or would he regret not spurning her initially, once he'd robbed her of the life she wanted.

Because Leah, for all her sarcasm, was serious about her life. She would have a family, her education, her life on the reservation. Sooner than later, she'd wash her hands of the fairies and be back on track.

He'd be left behind.

Leah was sitting up, opening his portable CD player. "This is nice."

"Emmett bought me an MP3 player last year, but I hate to think of my CDs not getting any use."

"Too inauthentic?" she mocked.

"The world changes so quickly these days."

"If it ain't broke, don't fix it," she mused. "What is this?"

He nearly snatched the CD out of her hands. "Careful, you'll get pizza grease on it."

Her face contorted in confusion. He never acted like this over most of his belongings.

He sighed. "No offense. It's just old and I listen to this one more than the others."

She read the permanent-marker writing on the disc. "Fifties, huh?"

"It was a good decade," he replied.

"What was good about it?" she said. All she could think of were poodle skirts and segregation.

"I misspoke. I suppose it was good for me, at least. I felt like I was living for more than thirst by then. I had better control," he confessed. "Of course, Alice and Jasper joined us. I was no longer the only person in the family with a talent. They understood."

"The downsides."

"Right." Their talents were useful, but there was always a drawback. Both Jasper and Edward had no shield or reprieve. Alice had blindspots or didn't get the full picture, leading to misinterpretations.

"This music reminds you of that time?"

"It reminds me of us finding a new way to live. A less lonely, more purposeful existence. As much as we could."

She closed the player and leaned her head on his chest. Her face was passive for a moment as the singer's soulful voice slipped in between the piano and saxophone. "This one's pretty good. I know it."

She absently tapped a finger on her knee, like she often did when hearing something the first time. He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and smoothed her hair back, somehow unable to lose himself into the song.

"Is everything okay?" she asked.

"I'm thinking of Patrick."

Leah was quiet for a long moment before softly asking, "Will he live?"

"How could he?" he muttered. He shook his head. "Sorry. I'm not mad at you, just -"
"The world?" she teased. "Join the club. Look, Ed, you may not be able to save him."

His mind ran over their plan, of Carlisle's idea.

Leah followed his thoughts. "Not through a moral way. Not in a way you could live with."

"But -"
"That organ could be marked for a little kid."
That did little to persuade him. Someone he knew was far more important. He looked away before she could read that heinous thought in his eyes.

Leah pulled away to look at him directly. "You never know what it will lead to. I don't put much stock in fate, but I wouldn't mess with it when it comes to life and death."

He looked past her to the ceiling. "It's a bad idea," he finally agreed.

"It is. But I'm sure Patrick would be grateful you even thought of it. I just had to tell you. Please don't feel like the weight of the world is on your shoulders. You're a good friend. That's plenty." She leaned closer. "Whatever you decide, I'll try not to criticize or gloat. Just tell me you'll be alright, no matter the outcome."

"I'll be alright," he promised. Then, hesitatingly, he placed his hand over hers between them.

She turned her hand over and squeezed his. "I'm going to have to hug the life out of you if you keep looking so sad."

"That pathetic, am I?"

"It's embarrassing."

"Now you owe me." He stood and pulled her up. "Give me my CD back."

She handed over the player, crossing her arms as he popped the CD into the stereo system. He held out a hand. "Dance with me."

She didn't budge.

"Everyone knows Elvis."

She tilted her head back laughing. "I can't foxtrot, y'know."

"Then don't. Do those awful dances on the music television stations." He flailed bent arms and skipped to the side.

She nearly fell over, her breathing coming out in gasps. "That was an assault to the eyes. Are you doing ballet? It's sickeningly graceful."
He felt just a bit shy, but more than anything, satisfied at the sight of her smile. "Then teach me."

"This isn't a ballroom. You just feel the beat." She grabbed his hands and swung their arms. He managed to follow half-heartedly. He was certain he looked more smooth than alive, like a dispirited, classically trained dancer. But Leah helped him loosen up as much as a vampire could.

They spun in circles, linking arms and skipping, jumping around. It reminded him a bit of drug-addicted pimps he'd seen (and murdered) in the streets. That didn't make it any less incredibly fun.

Friday, August 5, 2005

Esme kissed his cheek. "Call us immediately."

"And have Leah call us, too," Alice chimed.

"And take lots of pictures," Emmett added.

"It's not a vacation, Emmett," Jasper pointed out.

Emmett tucked a hand under his chin. "True. Steal something, then. All's fair in love and war."

Rosalie swatted his arm. "Just stay alive," she told Edward.

"Go in, do what you need to do, and get out," Jasper agreed. "Keep your head down."

Edward sighed exasperatedly. "Anything else?"

His sisters glared at him as a hurt frown briefly crossed Esme's face.

Regret pushed down his impatience and he pulled Esme into a hug. "I'm going to be okay."

Alice wrapped her arms around both of them, pressing her wide cheekbones into their arms. "I wish I could see you or that we could come with you."

He felt a bit wistful. It would be easier to have them by his side. Less frightening. Less chance at failure.

He met Jasper's eyes. His brother felt his conflict and Edward heard his answering thoughts.

It wouldn't be anymore right to bring them into this.

He pushed away the nagging feeling inside. Now was not the time to hide. He needed to be the Edward Anthony Masen who died in a Chicago hospital, the boy who wanted to fight for his country. Not this misanthropic man who wasted days alone stuck in his head.

If he saved the fairies, he saved everyone he loved. All he needed to do was stick with Echo's plan to interrogate Naomi. If all went well, they could capture Sapphira and end this horror at the core. If things came to a head, they'd just have to kill Naomi, quickly. He'd gladly trade any one's life, especially a vampire's, for these ones. If that made him evil, then that was a label he'd learn to like.

Edward tried not to stare after Carlisle's car after he disappeared down the street.

Leah touched his arm. "Three days."

He nodded carefully. "It seemed short before."

"Cold feet?"

"Always," he joked. He turned for the forest behind them. It was a relief that the fairies had foregone an escort, as the sun was as high and strong as ever. He wanted to be alone with Leah before they were constantly surrounded by semi-strangers. Their silent minds eased his anxiety significantly, but not completely.

"Carlisle seemed calm."

"It's been decades. I've probably outworn my welcome," he deadpanned.

She laughed. "At least he didn't try to come to the realm with you like my dad."

"Was he serious?" Fairies were allowed to have visits from human relatives, to an extent, with permission.

"Not at first. But I think these last few weeks have been harder on my parents than me. They can't wait til I go back to normal life." She swatted at a mosquito. "Yikes, we must be near water."

"College starts soon. Surely, you'll remind them how nice it is that they'll be living with them the next two years. That will be a great comfort."

Her mouth hardened into a thin line. "Right."

Before he could press the subject, Leah spun towards a sturdy tree. "That one." She transferred her bag to his hold and examined it, running her fingers along the bark. There was only one tree to enter the realm for non-royals, and she wanted to be sure they'd found it. But these days Leah always took caution in her selection. One of the last times she'd teleported, she'd ended up in the wrong places. Echo had told her there were many reasons for 'misplacement', as she'd called it: emotional distress, a poisoned or decaying tree, dangerous weather, brain trauma. Even the "wrong" tree could be "wrong" for a certain fairy. Or one could be allergic to a certain species.

Edward clung to her hand, sliding into the warmth of the tree's light. He let go on the other side, when the dry heat hit him. The realm could never be too humid, or else wings wouldn't work properly. Still, the temperature was somewhat proportional to that of the human world. He flinched, seeing the sun was high here, too, and his skin reacted accordingly.

Leah saw it but insisted nobody would notice. Maybe, maybe not. The realm was full of drab earth tones, even more so than in their world, from the clothes to the farms, but it also contained some of the most extravagant architecture and glimmering lights he'd seen in his life.

They walked across a large field and approached the high fencing from the side. Outside the castle gates, they met guards who led them to the foyer. Princess Echo and Queen Ella stood stiffly, both ladies in their gauzy pastel dresses. This time they matched, from their soft pink clothes to their neat updos. Only the queen's chin was raised in royal pride and Echo's was tucked into their chest, as if she hoped the ground would swallow her up. Her preening prince was nowhere to be seen. Edward stayed close to Leah's side as he once again took in the white and gold walls and the blue irises lining the halls. He'd lived in places nearly as nice, but, without the excitement of a ball or the tension of an introduction, the palace had that same coldness as the hospital.

"Welcome, Edward, Leah," the queen greeted.

They exchanged bows and curtsies.

"It's been awhile since we've seen either of you," she mused.

"Two months. It's been two months," Echo mumbled, so low only Edward likely caught it.

Leah's hand curled slightly, but she relaxed just as quickly. "I hope my lessons will be enough," she settled on.

"You've been training for nearly a year!" the queen laughed heartily. "A little break won't leave you defenceless."

"I'll be by her side the whole time." Edward forced a polite tone, masking his irritation.

"Of course," the queen told him. "We are so lucky to have you as part of the squad, Mr. Edward. We ought to have you knighted next week!"

He didn't care if Ella knighted him, flogged him, shipped him to the bottom of the ocean, or what, so long as everything went smoothly and they would part ways afterwards and never bother him or Leah, or their side of the coast again.

Echo looked up. "Perhaps, we should introduce them to the general?"

In the main sitting room full of glass chairs resembling the queen's, a pale man with a long black ponytail closed his book as the group entered. When he stood, Edward guessed he was about his own height.

"General Funis Foxfeather," Ella introduced. "Please meet Leah Clearwater and Edward Cullen."

Internally, Edward chuckled at the ridiculous name, probably the worst he'd heard among the fairies. But who was he to judge when his family contained retired names from all over the last few centuries?

"It's an honor." When General Foxfeather smiled, the wrinkles in his face were more apparent, but he looked more inviting, more grandfatherly. "I've heard plenty of good things about you two. I wish we could have met the night of the ball, but sadly I was called away."

"It's fine, sir," Edward said. "We are just glad to have your help now."

"Mr. Edward, you are a fine man to help us. We hope this will be the beginning of a beautiful partnership."

"Ah, General Foxfeather, Edward and Leah are not true soldiers. We cannot expect to keep them," the queen chided teasingly.

"Forgive an old fool. I'm only pleased to have both a Hunter and a Guardian among us." He extended a hand to Leah.

"Thank you, sir," she said hesitatingly.

"The pleasure is mine. There is strong magic in you, Miss Leah. Learn to harness it."

"So they tell me," she shrugged.

He narrowed his eyes, peering closely. "Tell me, are both of your parents fully human?"

Everyone's heads snapped to him, alarm bells ringing in their ears.

Leah inhaled sharply, her eyes going dark with insult and confusion. Her voice came out in a squeak. "Excuse me?"

Edward stepped closer, glaring at the general.

The queen giggled too strongly for the space of the little glass room. "General?"

General Foxfeather shook his head, releasing Leah's hand. "Forgive me. I was thinking of old fables and tales. This old mind forgets all Her Majesty told me of you."

Echo let out a shaky laugh. "Shall we talk strategy?"

"Tonight we toast those slain at their hands!" the queen shouted from the podium in the garden. Everyone whooped and lifted their drinks to this night sky.

Tonight's outdoor celebration was modest in comparison to the engagement party. The queen spoke for too long and the prince and princess made speeches too, but Edward could assess that this was the type of celebration that belonged to the people.

At the start of the ceremony, medals were awarded to the survivors of vampire attacks. Families of slain fairies left momentos on a centerstage table. The deceased's faces were displayed in a firefly show with surprising detail.

Despite (or because of) the somber commencement, the rest of the party was filled with street-fair merriment. Children played silly games and people painted their faces. Edward watched Leah skip in a circle, holding hands with a bearded blond man, a military friend of Troy's. Around them, a crowd of people clapped to the rhythm of a folk trio. Edward hummed along, tapping his foot to the beat.

Under the simple lantern lights and by the sparkling open fires from where pots of stews simmered, Leah looked right at home.

He barely noticed the fairy floating next to his seat. "Hey, vampire."

"Your Highness," he murmured.

Echo flopped onto the picnic bench, slouching. Like the rest of the partygoers, she was dressed simply - olive slacks and an amber smock. Her eyes were the slightest bit red, but most people would probably assume it was from the brightly colored makeup she wore. She was now smearing it with the back of her hand. "Having fun?"

"I enjoy it more than the last time, if you will allow me to say so. I like space to breathe."

She held up a hand. "I don't plan these things. Had it my way, the last party would've been a private affair, not the whole darn circus." She winced. "And this one would go on for days."

"Getting nervous, ma'am?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

Her jaw clenched, and he realized he struck a nerve without meaning.

Echo laughed, too loudly. "I'm not afraid of anything, except failure." Her voice was firm. "Tomorrow we'll be one step closer to the safety of the kingdom."

He held up an abandoned empty mug on the table. "To the fearless."

She mirrored him. "And the righteous."

He wiped the sticky dried food that'd been on the cup off his hands. "It's a shame you won't be one of them. On the mission tomorrow."

She took a big gulp of beer. "I've got stuff to do. Wedding plans. I can't leave it all to His Highness. This marriage is as beneficial a duty to the kingdom as any task."

He nodded thoughtfully. "Perhaps. But it's not the one you'd like to worry about."

"It was supposed to be me, you know."

He blinked. "Pardon?"

"I was supposed to be the Guardian. My father said as much in his will. He saw the way things were turning out, how many people were dying. It was his idea for me to end it all. But my grandmother kept me out of training for as long as she could legally allow. To have a 'normal life' she said. And when I got hurt, out there in the real world, she claimed she wanted the Guardian to be someone with real power. More than me."

"But you are powerful. Troy boasts of your talents, your military experience..."

"It's not enough for her. So she fudged some laws, and told me that if I worked really hard I could be the Hunter. A less important role, but a coveted one. I'd be a hero."

"Why couldn't it be you, then?"

Her mouth twisted into a half-grimace, half-smile. "I knew I was getting married. Not to who, but someone powerful who would strengthen our resources and influence. The fairy deaths were too frequent for anyone to ignore. I couldn't put off the safety of my people simply because I wanted to be one saving the day. So I looked for you. And then my grandmother found Leah. It was clicking into place. I wasn't the hero in this story."

Echo was sad that she wouldn't have a hand in an affair most people would abandon, but Edward too dreamed of martial glory long ago.

"There will be other chances," he assured her. "You've done plenty. If you could convince a vampire and a human Quileute girl to help your kingdom, then that makes you incredibly strong, beyond magic."

She shrugged. "That's kind of you, Edward Cullen."

Across the field, the string players ended their song and the crowd dispersed, melting into pockets of people, large and small. Edward could hear Leah talking with one of Echo's ladies-in-waiting across the lawn. He glanced sideways at the princess. "I want to discuss something with you."

Echo inclined her head, forcing her thoughts into his mind. 'We have time.'

He shivered slightly. His talent was different in that everything felt like speaking on a cell phone when he listened to others' thoughts. With the fairies, it felt even more invasive, as if the outsider's thoughts were coming from his own mind. He shrugged off the sensation. "What do you know about the spell your grandmother put on me?"

'It's unbreakable. Don't bother,' she dismissed.

He glared. "You don't say."
'She does spells like that often, outside of granting wishes. Despite the strength, the magic is rudimentary. She didn't make your skin purple or turn you into a caterpillar.' Echo tapped her chin. 'I do remember the day she did it.'

Edward leaned closer. "Yeah?"

'She sometimes shows me her day, who she saw, any magic she performed. This one was particularly exciting. She was at that library on a Well-Wisher mission. She happened to see you, knew you were a vampire from the way you moved, the cold coming off of your skin.' She shook her head disapprovingly. "Too obvious."

"Continue."

'Grandmother has instincts when it comes to love, like she can guess the bond between two people. Most of the wishes she grants relate to romance and relationships. She's only been wrong thrice, including with you and Leah. This spell was one of her specialities.'

Edward frowned. "She often removes a person's sense of smell relating to blood?"

'No. She nulls the person's strongest negative emotion relating to the object of their affection. So if two exes can't forgive each other after an affair, she'll dim the mistrust. Does one person want kids and their partner doesn't? Guess who suddenly became neutral. Or if a woman can't get over her partner's ugly feet, now she'll think they're cute.'

Edward tsked. "The first two scenarios are horrifying. The second is...odd. One spell can do all that?"

'It is what it is. Your neg just happened to be a thirst for blood.'

"So it's psychological. What if my strongest negative emotion to Leah became disgust or annoyance?"

"It's too late to change," Echo slurred. "Be glad you got this." She sipped her drink. 'Why do you ask?'

He turned away from her.

She mentally scoffed. 'We're practically blood brothers, by now.'

He sighed. "It's gotten worse. The appeal was gone, then it was the scent, then it was all blood, and now...I can't smell anything. I would get these flashes of darkness, where all my feeling would cut out, all my senses. At first they seemed like some sort of emotional distress response, but it wasn't."

Echo's mouth fell open a little. 'I...I didn't know that could happen. I'm so sorry.'

"It's not your fault. It wasn't part of your plan."

'All the same, I didn't think much of it. I didn't think of the repercussions. I thought she knew best.' Her eyes were glassy as she stared at the picnic table.

"Maybe you can help me."

'I'm not sure how it went wrong. This has never happened before. My grandmother wouldn't make a rookie mistake. But believe me.' Her finger tapped her mug. 'I'll do everything in my power to fix this. After tomorrow, we'll figure out a plan.'

Edward considered her. She was easier to trust than her grandmother. But she was still loyal to the clan and the realm above all else, and like her father, would probably be loyal to the queen until death. For now, he was going to have to trust her completely.

Echo swung her head in his direction. "She loves you, you know."

Edward glared at her for a long moment. There was inebriation, and then there was insanity. Maybe they should have ended the conversation earlier.

His voice lowered, but kept its edge. "I know she doesn't."

"You may have been in her head, but I know her heart." Echo pawed at her rouged cheeks again. "Just don't screw it up."

He refused to indulge in the notion that Leah's affections were more than a phase. Meant to dwindle away like the leaves of a tree once the summer is over. She wasn't toying with him or incapable of feeling so deeply. He was only frightened that she would love him so passionately, so completely, he would become addicted to that feeling.

And then he'd never let her go. Maybe physically. But never in his heart. If - when - she left him, he'd become a shadow of the ghost he already was.

He couldn't guess what would be first to pull her away - her dream of a traditional family, her longing to travel, her career. But he knew from the start, Leah was so grand, so colorful, so important. Did she even realize she was too special for this world? That there were so many people she could help in her own unique way, not just the clan or the tribe?

"There's nothing to screw up," Edward countered.

The princess's laughter was too harsh to be friendly. She drew looks from passing fairies. "Then you need to get over yourself and give in, bud."

If Echo wasn't a bit tipsy and looking at him with such candor, he would have lost his temper. "I won't let myself love her." The truth was short and stung all the more for the fanciful words it lacked to soften the landing.

"Sounds like it's too late."

It was like talking to a very nosy brick wall. He smirked. "What about you?"

She pressed a hand to her neck, clutching invisible pearls. "Who, me?"

He glanced at Troy, who stood ramrod straight by the treeline, his jaw clenched and eyes hard. "I can't get inside your head, but I wouldn't have to with the way you two look at each other."

The fairy took a clumsy swig of her beer. "You're probably right. No. I love him a little."

"It's not quantifiable. If you love him a little, you love him a lot."

"Then why can't I bring myself to run away with him?" she whispered, a stiff smile on her face for the crowd.

Edward shook his head sadly, watching the careful way she held herself, a pillar of fortitude. "Maybe that means you love him just enough."

Echo gave him a smirk just bordering between mockery and hope. She thought he was a fool. But that made two of them, if they ever dared to voiced these impossibilities.

An olive-skinned, older fairy woman ran up to their table. "Why aren't you two out

there? C'mon!" She grabbed both their hands and dragged them into a group dance.

A/N: I'm scared for them! :(

Replies:

sentinel10: I'm right there with you, crying and jumping, my friend XD They're pretty cute for a socially-inept drama queen and a snarky almost-superhero. This is the ship I didn't know I needed. Oh, how I love these idiots.

SF: Always happy to hear from you, SF! Thanks!

O.o: Welcome to the party! You're right, the fairy thing IS strange. Until chapter four or five, I'd planned to involve the Volturi, but I grew bored of that plotline. So I did my own thing! I'm glad you were able to stick around and enjoy the original characters and huge canon divergence.