A/N: Contains violence and some disturbing imagery. May be uncomfortable for some readers.
"Into Dust" - Mazzy Sar
He Awakes With a Thought
Friday, September 30, 2005
His eyes shot open and for the first time in a while, everything was clear and sharp - sight, sound, touch, taste, smell. All five senses as acute as they had been the last time he awoke from a peculiar, abrupt sleep. If his telepathy was working, he couldn't tell, because no one was around him. School - the dour hallways, the incessant chatter, and his apathy - held court in his mind, but the particulars were masked. A gap in his memory was like a mental itch. He wasn't used to that and didn't want to learn to be.
He wasn't at Forks High School, but at home. He was nearly never laying down. Yet, today, he slid out of a bed and pushed a blanket off of his body. The room was too dark. And his clothes smelled strange. As he examined himself, someone rushed to his side.
"Edward!" Esme gripped his hand so tightly it hurt. Her round eyes looked up at him with complete misery and agitation, shrouding the mirth and love that usually poured from her spirit. "Oh, thank goodness! We were so worried."
"Esme…" He blinked a few times, looking above her head, almost swaying to the right. "I'm home," he uselessly remarked.
"What? Oh, yes. Can you remember anything?"
He remembered hurting, falling, confusion, and silence, and little else.
"You've been asleep for hours, dear. I've never seen anything like it. Your father and your siblings have been trying to find an explanation and a cure, but half of that's out of the way. At least for now. I've been mostly here, waiting. But I think Carlisle just wanted me to stay - " She cut herself off, then patted his arm. "Gosh, I wonder… Let's go. No, no, let's stay. You should rest."
"I don't need rest."
"No, I insist."
Edward touched her shoulder. His mother never rambled unless something was truly wrong. "Esme, where is our family?"
She dropped her hands. He hadn't seen her look so sorrowful in ages. "Can't you hear it yourself?" she quietly asked.
He focused, he heard the chaos and the confusion out there. But it all seemed so distant. He pressed a hand to his forehead. "No, not really. Your thoughts are even so scrambled… I suppose I'm still recovering from whatever that was."
Her eyebrows knit together. "You'd better follow me."
She took her time leading him through the house, to the secondary exit and outside.
It was apocalyptic.
As the pair hovered at the fringes of it all, battle waged on. A mess and blur of fur. The scent of blood carried by the air. Growling and shouting. Betrayal and brutality. And Leah was at the center of it all, holding her own against her own pack brothers, against his family. She rained fury with fists and magic - daring and intense, as she'd always been, even against Naomi. But, Edward observed (as she snapped a bone in Embry Call's arm, then pushed harder and broke another), she was more precise, tireless, and bloodthirsty, than she'd ever been.
"She's -" Esme began, but stopped short. Edward needed little clarification. This wasn't his Leah, and not her doing, not by a long shot. Her eyes were glowing bright blue, harsh against the pre-dawn sky. Her once-brown skin was now extremely sickly and pale. It was so shocking and wrong, yet he couldn't look away.
Edward started for her but Esme grabbed him. She said, "Carlisle is trying to get close enough to drug her but it either doesn't work or she's too fast."
"Drugs? What drugs?"
"She needs to stop before the chaos attracts something worse than herself."
Or before she got herself killed, accidentally or as a last resort.
He pulled easily out of Esme's weaker hold. "She is my mate."
"Edward, she may be your mate, but she is not in her right mind."
He wasn't listening, not really.
Esme called his name, chased after him, but he was faster.
Their argument only distracted the rest of the coven and the shapeshifters. Carlisle was just reaching out to block Esme's intrusion, when Leah (or the figure impersonating her) took advantage of the disturbance. Arms spread out, she released a shockwave that sent the earth rolling and cracking under their feet. Everyone's muscles were shaking, their heads aching, and their senses blurred.
Edward managed to stagger forward among his fallen comrades. "Leah!" he yelled, he pleaded. He was reaching forward without thought or sense, to stop her or embrace her, he didn't know.
But this version of Leah would show no mercy, or even comprehension. Like a bullet, her hand shot out and wrapped around his throat, lifting him above her head. She glared up at him, as if deciding his fate - how to best exact punishment.
He had no magic of his own. Everything he was created for was trapping prey, for luring and disarming those weaker than himself. Leah at her full strength was never an opponent he thought he'd face. He was terrified. He was furious. He was, even now, instinctually coiling and snarling…
Because he knew he could not hurt her, no matter what she did to him. If she decided it, he would have to die at her hand today.
There was some relief. She shocked him, energy pouring from her heart to her hand to his throat to his own silent chest…
But the force of it -
He blacked out for a second -
And he saw without his eyes… He leaned into her thoughts, past his fatigue, past the mask of a ruthless killer she wore on her face and in her mind - and he discovered something. No, Leah wasn't in control of her actions right now. They all knew that. But how could this be?
Leah wasn't the slightest bit present, not in this body. So where was she?
Edward held onto her muscled limb, fighting the sting of her.
"Let go!"
"Leah, are you in there? Come back home!"
She stared, fingers curling tighter.
"Who did this to you? Was it her? You know it's her tricks. Don't let Ella win." He had no idea if she could even hear him, or if the person controlling Leah (Ella or otherwise) could. But still, she paused and that gave him the most hope he could rise to feel.
Her fraction of hesitation was all they needed. Sam dove in and pinned her down, despite his torn shoulder. Emmett (now with a missing left hand) and Jasper covered for him and Carlisle closed in - inserting something murky into her bloodstream. The skin healed as soon as he eased the needle out.
Leah's eyes closed and she started shaking so violently she looked like she'd hurt herself. But judging from the blood and gore she'd made of her friends, it was the best solution.
Carlisle met Edward's accusing stare. "We've been able to hold her off since the night. This is the third serum we've tried. The last one had her comatose for an hour."
"The shaking is new," Jasper noted. 'It looks like she's trying to phase."
He didn't know if they should hope for that. Things hadn't gone so well the last time Leah phased under extreme stress. But he couldn't find the right thing to say, whether to interfere or not. He felt every bit the imbecile, and like everyone was looking at him or trying very hard not to look at him. But he caught Seth's eye and a heaviness settled into his chest. "I need to find the clan. Maybe try to go into the realm…"
"That's probably not safe." Carlisle chided.
"Please. I can't just -" He swallowed the outburst, eyes heavenward. "How long will she be like this?"
"Maybe an hour, at most. I'll try to do a thorough physical examination and test more antidotes. But as you can see, it's not going well so far."
"I'll be back," said Edward.
He dashed inside and found their landline. He could make no use of the trees. He called Echo first, then Troy. Neither answered. He tried each of them a half-dozen more times, then a few other numbers of some acquaintances of theirs. No one picked up. He shouldn't have been surprised.
He went out the front door. He felt stupid laying his hand on a tree and wishing… No, he couldn't wish not truly. Ella was the one who would have to grant it. He was an idiot.
"Lend me your power," he commanded, voice lacking authority, but still expectant. In a way, he was part of the clan, wasn't he? He leaned into it, picturing the hillsides and the cottages of the Cosaint realm. The enveloping white space cleared in his mind, seemed to take hold of him.
He hissed, yanking his hand away and shaking it out. The tree had burned him! How strange and very discouraging. This hadn't happened before. And he'd been so close, too. Had almost made it into that white portal -
His cell phone rang. He was shocked to see it was still on his person and that it hadn't been destroyed in the skirmish.
"Just what the hell do you think you're doing?" Troy barked, voice muddied with static.
Edward was too stunned to be defensive. "Trying to find you."
"Do not come here. Take Leah and run."
"What happened?"
"We're under attack. The portals are all haywire. Someone let a vamp in. Scratch that, at least six of them."
"Who would -" Edward shook his head. "Look Leah's been hijacked, she's possessed and fighting everyone -"
"What'd you say?"
"Leah's attacking us! And she doesn't even seem to understand she's doing it!"
"Shit. Shit shit shit shit! She called me yester -" Troy cut out for a bit. " - unconscious too long. That's got to be illness, dark magic, or -" Static. "...don't get hurt your damn selves or else she might go loose on the town."
"Is Echo there?"
"Well Ella sure as hell ain't and we can't figure out if that's a good thing or a -"
Edward dragged a hand across his face, groaning. "Troy. Can't you see? Ella's the one behind all this! She always is!"
There was a crash and so much shouting on the other end Edward could barely pick Troy's voice out of the din. "Yes…yes. Of course, that conniving - Only Echo would know - no, no. I'll be there by the end of the day. I promise."
"That's not long enough! We can hold her an hour at best before she kills us all or we're forced to -"
"Well there's nothing you can do without a fairy. All you can do is wait until one of us gets there. No attempting tree travel, no weapons - leave that to us."
Edward crushed his phone in his hand until the jagged pieces were smithereens. If he could cry, right then, he would've. The gray morning gloom hadn't even settled in, yet he felt more of the grief of being too late than any urgency. It was a hopeless situation. Who among them could overpower her? He wasn't like Leah. He loved her, but he had no understanding of her body, her power. Or even her emotional state. Or else he would have foreseen this and - done what? Alone, he was no match for her. And, (he thought with no little loathing), no match for Ella.
He was angry with Troy and Echo, though he knew they were just as in danger as the rest of them. But they were the only ones who could've helped -
Edward paused, listening to the shouts and struggle on the other side of the property. He heard the wind, the creeping animals, and the rush of water. For the first time since he woke up, his mind went quiet.
Then he raced back inside and upstairs to his room. He went to the lowest bookshelf and pulled out a couple dusty tomes of Leah's - history books on loan from Echo. He rifled through his things, and sure enough, he found a similar nonfiction book from the bookstore, from the days he and Leah would search for clues together alone.
Maybe he'd save them all. Maybe he'd get himself killed. But, for now, it was the only way in.
His hand skimmed the surface of the water, testing it, offering and compromising it. He held no power here. He was a novice to this game, and an outsider to this world. Perhaps they'd see through his ruse, or be too hesitant to rise to it, out of fear of his demonic, thirsty nature.
Edward sank into the lake with the same ease Leah had coaxed out of him, many many nights ago.
He swam with fluidity and grace to the very bottom. It wasn't particularly deep, but there was space enough for him to feel engulfed when he relaxed and closed his eyes, resting. An eternity seemed to pass before he felt something ensnare his ankle. On instinct, his calf flexed, but he forced himself to remain calm… even as a burst of light shone behind his closed eyes and he felt himself dragged through soil and sediment, into another world.
The anchor hurled him onto a flat, hard surface.
"Get up," a feminine voice ordered.
Edward blinked up at the underwater cave and watched the fairy woman in shades of aqua approach him slowly, almost predatorily. She looked like a vengeful mermaid in this beautiful, shimmering world.
"You think you're pretty clever, hm?" she purred. She looked stronger than he remembered, or perhaps it was the change in his circumstances that intimidated him. Nonetheless, she was right at home and he was far from his.
"Honestly, I didn't think you would fall for it."
"No." She rested a hand on her hip. "But you're lucky I was on guard. Had you tested one of the younger ones, I'd have no choice but to kill you."
"I was merely curious about an old myth."
"We do rescue drowning people, when so inclined," the gatekeeper said. "But you are no human…"
"Do you intend to decimate me for nearly trespassing into your underwater kingdom?"
"That depends. Is your girlfriend lurking to nearly kill me for not chomping at the bit to rescue a brat-princess?"
"That's all done with," Edward answered quickly. A half-truth, it was.
"Then I'd say we've talked enough. I suggest you run back home to your fairy before someone else wants you both dead." She turned away.
Edward gave her a loaded look. "We need to make another deal."
"You better be joking. You and that chick just stumble into here making demands and pick a fight with me over royals I don't give a flying crap about. And now you have the nerve to come back to my clan's gates and ask me for a favor? Have you even burned good queen Ella's scrolls?"
"Wouldn't you rather have her head?"
"What?"
"I need a fairy, any experienced, knowledgeable fairy, to help me. I swear I will do everything to keep you from getting killed. But once it's over and done, I will help you get rid of her. Or anything else you want would be fine, too."
The rebel gatekeeper rolled her cat-like eyes, tapping her wand against her chin. The glow of the cave shined brightly on her flicker of a smile. "You must be absolutely desperate or absolutely stupid."
Though hardly anyone here at the Genesis General Hospital would recognize him, Edward moved in shadow, slinking into stairwells and avoiding eye contact. There wasn't time for him to ask to come in. He simply bounded into the room and plopped down in a mushy armchair.
Patrick looked up from his gaming device. "Dude, you scared the shit out of me with that gloomy look. I - oh, damn it, I'm dead. See what you did?" He tossed the game into Edward's lap. "You try."
Edward kept his hands folded neatly. "How have you been?"
"Alive-ish." He didn't look it. Not really. His face was a little scruffy and his hair seemed thinner and Edward was once again conflicted. "Can you get me some fried chicken though? The stuff here tastes like cardboard and chalk."
"Where are your friends?"
"Around. Somewhere." His eyes were glassy as he looked up at the television, tuned in to a game show. "They don't have to hover. You don't."
"Sorry. I wish I had time, too."
"Hey, hey. I'm not mad. I'm glad you're out there doing life. Everyone's got to grow up and grow old for me, since I sucked at both of those."
"I won't."
Patrick frowned, sipping from a straw some juice. "Trouble with your girl?"
"I guess, but that's not the problem. It's me. I'm…"
"Don't tell me you're dying, too."
Edward almost chuckled, but Patrick would pursue any hint of levity he could squeeze from the conversation. "Haven't you ever wondered why I just showed up out of nowhere and all of sudden we were close?"
"Uh, that's how you make friends, dude. You go somewhere, you meet someone, you hit off, you hang out."
Edward rolled his eyes, mostly at himself. He was attacking this from every wrong angle. "Think of a number."
Patrick leaned back and answered amusedly, "Got it."
"Two hundred seventeen."
"Okay, okay, so you know a few magic tricks."
"No, I'm telepathic. Think of something else." And Edward proceeded to guess Patrick's thoughts one, two, three more times, until the boy was staring back at him in awe and panic, wondering what drugs the doctors had put him on.
"Ed, why are you waiting until I'm half–dead to tell me you're some kind of superhero?"
"I wouldn't call myself a hero… more of a monster."
Patrick nodded slowly. "A martian."
"No, and not a magician. Something worse and more dangerous, so much so that it's a risk for me to even be around you or tell you these things. I could show you all the proof you need, but you have to believe me. I'm not normal."
Patrick was too calm. "Oh. Okay."
"Aren't you going to say anything?" Where were they hysterics?
"No, I get it."
"What?"
"Dude. It's totally obvious you were a vampire." Patrick coughed. "You never eat or drink anything. You move really weird, like you're wearing Heelys. You're the palest guy I know, and I'm like ghost-white. Besides, you even have fangs. I thought werewolf at first because your eyes are kind of funky, but you're way too uptight to howl -"
Edward's hand flew to cover his mouth. "I do not have - look. I didn't come here for that. I came to grant your one last wish, because I don't think I'm ever returning. I can't explain."
"Creepy vampire stuff, huh?" Patrick sighed, closing his eyes. "Fine, fine. I only need one thing. I need you to leave my ashes at my godfather's house in Chicago. I know you have money and I guess, supernatural magic, too. But I don't. And I won't need any now. Just do that. Please."
Edward nodded. "Okay." He hesitated. "But can you help me, in return?"
Pat raised a brow. "I suppose it's fair. I was never going to pay you fairly for those songs. But I gotta warn you, I'm pretty exhausted these days."
Edward took a deep breath. "I need to borrow your heart. To save Leah from possibly her own death."
It was the first odd thing Edward had said that day that truly riled Patrick, and it was a good ten-minute discussion before Edward managed to calm his friend.
Pat crossed his arms, crushing his juice. "Everyone around me was superpowered and I find out about this as I'm dying? What the hell?"
"You don't have to," Edward soothed.
"Like hell. No way am I going to let a friend die with me. Besides, you only need it for an hour, max."
"Yes. You'll have a still, dry heart and I'll have a healthy, beating one. When I come out of the In-Between, I'll return it and revive you."
"How long do we have to get her?"
Edward's eyes narrowed in thought. "We should make the switch by tonight. If we wait too long, someone will die."
Patrick scrubbed his stubbly face. "Everyone's going to freak. You better pray I really die by then!"
"Still not funny," Edward couldn't help chiding though he was in no position to be so brisk. But this time, there was some fear in the musician's words. And it guitled him.
The gatekeeper's hand was about a foot away from Patrick's chest, when the young man stopped her. "Have you done this before?"
"Nope," she answered flatly, leaning in again, until she caught Edward's glare. She sighed. "There's a reason only outlaws practice dark magic. Left unsupervised, it could spread to the masses and spoil the earth. But treated carefully and tended to, it can be the most valuable tool. I don't condone recklessness. It's fine in moderation."
Patrick relaxed a bit. "Cool. Cool. Just a tool."
"You're adapting well," she noted, surprised.
He blushed. "Life or death situations aren't as heavy as people think."
Edward would've blushed too when the gatekeeper gently brushed a hair from Patrick's face, before laying her hand back over the young man's heart. In a few moments, his breathing slowed, and he was asleep.
Edward didn't flinch when the gatekeeper's right hand pressed insistently against his own chest. He hummed to himself as he listened for the steady beat of Patrick's heart and watched how the pulse of the gatekeeper's wrist began to mirror it. She exhaled harshly, eyes squeezed shut as she focused.
The veins of her right inner arm glowed, and Edward's own followed suit, awakened from their slumber. He felt the heat coming over him, and realized he was sweating. He was no longer cold and bloodless. His own cheeks flushed red, as Patrick's had. The boy in the bed became still and bloodless, his face ashen and hard.
And just like that, the connection between the three of them snapped. The gatekeeper stood suddenly, wiping her sweaty palms on her shirtfront.
"Come on."
He hesitated, giving one last regretful look to his relation, whose precarious survival would remain in the balance.
"The longer you wait, the less chance he has of surviving this."
The sound of the flatline urged Edward to take her hand, and the two of them moved through rooms and walls, until they were safely tucked into a supply closet.
"We'll have to be close by to wake him up if we come back," she explained.
"When we come back."
She quirked an eyebrow. "When," she relented, with a hint of condescenion.
Edward started to argue, but the fight was going out of him. He could barely concentrate in this state. The world held less color, every smell and feeling was muted. It was as he had felt oftentimes when plagued by Ella's curse, and no less disoriented. This was not the time for his lamentation, though.
The gatekeeper ran a hand over the doorway, sealing it shut and melting away the handle. "Your girlfriend shouldn't be able to access the In-Between without sleeping. Her body shouldn't be functional while her spirit is elsewhere. It's a phenomenon, really. This is something only us rebels have nearly succeeded in. I'll still have to put us under. But I'm strong enough to make sure we enter together."
"And you can guarantee we will find Leah?"
"That's on you. We're trying to merge dreams. Or nightmares. Everything is relative. If Leah, or even Queen Ella, are in their In-Between, it's dependent on them whether we can exist in their space, too." Her expression clouded over, eyes looking up to the dim light above them. "I do wonder if we…"
Edward waited a long moment, leaning against a rack of supplies.
"Nothing…" She chewed the inside of her cheek. "Nevermind. Let's get this show on the road."
He supposed he should be grateful. He was now a living, breathing being. And the In-Between could accept him. Patrick, the gatekeeper, and all of his allies were doing all they could. He must match them.
"What if you fail?"
He didn't know where the voice came from. He was only vaguely aware of being seated on a cold, tiled floor and propped up by an equally uncomfortable wall. He felt himself drifting in and out of consciousness. Perhaps the gatekeeper had asked, but he couldn't tell where exactly she was.
Maybe Leah had. Maybe she called to him from the other side, urging him, begging him, to find her.
If he failed her… There was no room for error. She would be alright. She would escape this, and he would help her pick up the pieces. Leah belonged in this world. She deserved to live. She sparkled, she glowed. He could not - would not - allow her star to go out.
So she would live because he wouldn't be able to, otherwise.
All he could do was go forward. And he could only hope, when they returned, he would still be himself, and she would still be herself. And if she once more fell into being his, he wouldn't protest to such good fortune.
The blankness of everything is what struck him. He didn't know what he had expected - a city, the pit of hell - but it wasn't this. This wouldn't be finding a needle in a haystack. This would be pulling a needle out of thin air.
The gatekeeper noted his expression. "Just wait."
They walked forward. Their steps echoed, and the world turned for them, leading them in what Edward was sure were circles. He started to object when a lone tree arose. It was followed by another, and a thicket of woods shrouded them, stretching up to a hot sun. Only… everything remained -
"So gray," blurted out his companion. "It's like a creepy old movie."
"Not normal?" He racked his mind for Leah's memories of the In-Between. No. This wasn't it.
The gatekeeper shook her head, eyes darting around.
He was frightened by her hesitancy, but didn't want to succumb to that fear. His muscles itched to run when he felt the soft grass under his feet, but he was quickly fatigued after a brisk walk.
"That heart's on loan. Don't wear it out,"
He huffed and continued at what seemed to be a snail's pace, slow measured steps and careful breathing. Around them the grayscale woods came alive. Birds chirped. Deer sprinted past. The rush of a waterfall was faintly audible. He would've been an oasis, had they arrived under different circumstances. At some point, he raised a hand to rest, and the two of them perched next to a stream and sipped from their cupped hands.
Edward tilted his head back. He could just barely make out the clouds above them. "What time do you think it is?"
She frowned. "I don't know, but I'm already starting to feel the effects. Kind of hard to breathe in here after a while. I have no idea how she's been here since last night."
"She's something else." The wind howled, and he automatically tried to catch the scent of a lion or bear. Hopefully those didn't exist in this tranquil scene. His human form wasn't adapted for killing such creatures. "I can't believe she'd hide here."
"Edward, no. This forest isn't Leah's control. It's the scene you wanted to see. It's as easy as -" She broke off her sentence and stood. Ahead of them, the stream melted into a solid, dirt path. "That."
He matched her quick pace, though they were both sweating a little. He had no idea what Leah would want to see, especially in a place like this. They didn't even know if she was here, or what Ella did to her.
His heart tightened and he walked faster. They followed the land the gatekeeper imagined, something out of an old Western, full of cacti and mountains. Even tumbleweeds. When a giant buffalo roamed past them, barely sparing them a glance, Edward couldn't help chuckling. "What on earth kind of peace is this?"
"I don't know." She blew a strand of hair out of her face. "Isn't this what land-life is like?"
"Well, certainly not where we live."
"Well, excuse me, I don't live where you all do. I was trying to help."
"No, you're right. Keep going, this is all just new."
"That's what I thought." She paused, stretching a bit. "Geez, you'd think she was avoiding us. Can't she recognize your spirit?"
Edward stared straight ahead. He had no answer. He knew they were using the last bits of their strength. They'd have to return empty handed, in order to save themselves and Patrick. "Just a bit longer."
"Maybe you guys aren't as close as you thought," she muttered.
"Shhh."
"My bad."
He urged her to be quiet, and shushed her again. He raised a finger, and pointed up at the sky, just past the highest peak. When her gaze followed his finger, the gatekeeper grabbed his arm and dragged him to the ground.
A hawk was staring them down. The spotted pale and dark pattern of its wings was majestic in grayscale, and almost blended into the mountain. Was it trying to hide? How long had it been stalking them? This all would've been acceptable, had it not been the size of a much more formidable beast.
"What did you -"
"Shh!" she hushed.
Another screech, and soon they looked up to see three gigantic hawks circling the sky above.
Edward tried to make himself as small as possible. Protecting the gatekeeper would be impossible, but he wished he could. If only he weren't so newly vulnerable.
"On the count of three," she whispered, "You go west, I go east."
"Why can't we -"
"Three!" she answered, then pushed herself off the ground.
He had little choice but to run off too and divert their attention. The frantic screeching indicated that the half-formed plan was in action, though to what end, he did not know.
Not even twenty seconds later, he smacked back into his companion and fell on his backside. They'd gone in a circle. "How the hell did that happen?"
"I can't shape the scenario into anything else." She scratched her neck. "We might be entering someone else's territory."
"What should we do?"
One lion-sized bird swooped in and squawked in their faces. The gatekeeper punched it in the face and the creature ran off to lick its wounds. Blood dripped from the fairy's knuckles. "Clear your head."
He did so, or he tried, struggled, really - But the talons of one oversized bird cut into his shoulder, dragging him away, and it pulled him high into the sky, past the blazing sun.
The gatekeeper waved and called his name, and shot after him with her hands and wand. The sparks missed the furious bird.
She lifted her arms, though, and a thunderous noise sounded in the distance. Edward watched as a stream reappeared and poured over the mountains, trickling into the road. It was meek and thin at first, before it built into a powerful body of water. It consumed the gatekeeper, and the two bird-beasts, who cried out for help. His own captor squawked again, digging his talons tighter into Edward's shoulder.
The young man held back a scream as he felt the puncture through his shirt and skin. Gripping the offending limb, he forced his lower body upwards and kicked away with all his strength. Surprised, the bird let him go, and Edward fell into the ocean awaiting him.
For a long time, it was dark and cold. The shock of discomfort was unfamiliar to him, but he was too shaken up to keep still. Edward swam about, frantically searching and searching and searching. At last, something drifted into view, past the algae and fish. He started to reach for what he thought was the gatekeeper, but the pale hand he almost touched was nothing but bone, and unattached to a person.
A flash of blue lighting tore across the ocean floor.
Edward eagerly swam off toward it. He creeped past rubble and rock and pushed past vegetation, just in time to see the gatekeeper's panicked face - mouth open and eyes wide. He reached for her. But she waved away her hands frantically, waved him away, just as something dark and cloudy wrapped around her body and yanked her out of the ocean.
Edward froze for just a second, before launching himself upward, swimming at top-speed to the surface.
But then that same dark cloud, mysterious and evil, started creeping down towards him.
He veered off course, diving back down, and struggling through the force of the water. It was freezing and oppressive and seemed to be pushing against him. He felt that same burst of sweat and exhaustion, that same pounding ache in his head and arms and legs… what he had felt in the hospital…
He closed his eyes and pushed through, never stopping, never looking behind him.
When the swirl of energy wrapped around his right leg, he foolishly reached again for what he thought might be the gatekeeper's hand…
Only this time, the fleshless fingers were attached to someone.
When he awoke on the shore, he coughed out a buckets' worth of water. He was wet, shivering, and laying on a sandy beach.
He started to get up, when a strong impact pushed him back down. He cried out at the unpleasant pressure forced against his injured shoulder. But someone placed a finger to his lips, and he looked up to meet the eyes of a skeleton.
Shouting, he tried to climb to his feet, but the hollow-eyed, thin figure silenced him with a hand over his mouth. "Mind your mind."
The phrase was nonsensical, but the voice lacked malice, even if the face couldn't express this. Edward found himself wanting to relax.
Another skeleton figure approached, dropping down by the first. "Miles, how could you? Couldn't you sense he was hurt?"
"I might have been busy saving his life," snapped this Miles…person. His deep voice was so instantly full of rage, Edward found his initially-soothed fright stirring up again.
"I only meant for you to be careful," warned the other, smaller skeleton. She turned her skull to Edward. "I'm Demi."
"It's nice to…" Edward winced as she tried to stand up. "Meet you."
"I'd lean on us if I were you," warned Demi, helping him up. "But I can't imagine where you'd even go."
"I wouldn't mind getting changed into something dry, if you don't mind. And maybe a map?"
Demi and Miles stared at each other for a long moment, jaws slack.
"It's remarkable, isn't it?" Miles said. "Two of them, one after the other!"
Demi sighed. "He has no idea. I wonder what's going on out there?"
"What on earth are you guys talking about?" Edward interrupted, bewildered and frustrated. "This is the In-Between, is it not?"
Demi laughed. "I'm sure you wouldn't be seeing us if it were. Kid, you've reached Something Like Hell. It's a waiting place to see where your spirit will end up. Only some people go crazy waiting and give themselves to the ocean."
"So that's why you guys are…"
"Naked? Yeah, the flesh rotted off our bodies some time ago. If we're waiting too long, we'll even forget our names and lose all identity."
"How long have you been waiting?" Edward asked.
"A bit," said Miles. "No concept of time out here. But it won't be long before we're sorted out. The better question is how you landed on this island."
Demi rolled her eyes. "Don't be dumb. He and the girl might not have known…."
"I'm dead?" Edward panicked.
"Not dead or alive, no. Not dead yet. You won't turn into the ocean-dwellers if you stay here on the island. And who knows? Maybe you'll wake up."
"I'm not sure I understand…"
"I mean, you were a fairy, right? Surely you can recall -"
"No, no, I'm not…" He shook his head. "I have to go."
Demi and Miles exchanged another look, but continued leading him up the island, into the forest.
"Just wait calmly," Miles advised, as he set him down on a soft patch. "The hunger will go away soon. But you can rest here."
Whispering, they walked off with heavy steps, as if their bones were too stiff.
Edward closed his eyes, groaning in pain as he tried to get comfortable. He needed to find the gatekeeper as soon as he felt up to it. How ashamed he would be if he left without her. And besides, he would lose his way. He'd be stuck. No, who was he fooling? He was already stuck. Those living skeletons had just told him plainly - this was not the In-Between. It was purgatory.
He tried to peer past the trees out to the beach, but everything was too enclosed. In fact, it seemed to be growing thicker. Was this his own doing? Was he longing for safety so much he was trying to wrap himself in this island, give his life over to it?
He stared at one tree, watched as its leaves widened and fanned out, outstretched palms begging for the almost-hidden sunlight. They seemed to glow with life, even in their various shades of silver and slate. He was distracted and enchanted, so much so that when he stilled, he could hear the faint crackle of electricity emanating from them.
Edward moved closer, as if under a spell. And as he neared, he laid his hand against the stretching bark, and rounded it.
And on the other side was another hand, this one not unlike his own - warm and soft and alive. It was connected to an arm shrouded in billowing white fabric and that arm belonged to no other than her.
Leah's hair hadn't been this long in awhile, inky and smooth and almost curtaining her grimace. He barely managed to stop himself from enveloping her in his arms. She hadn't even acknowledged him. She'd barely broken her trance.
Instead, he placed a hand over hers and slowly came closer until his face was inches from hers. "Leah?"
She didn't look at him.
"Leah?" He tried to lower her arm, to pull her into him, but she was rooted to the ground.
"No," she said, so softly he had to strain to hear her. "You're not real."
"It's me."
She tentatively touched his cheek. "Edward?"
"Can you see me?" he hoped.
She half-smiled. "I see you."
"Leah, my darling, my love." He gave up restraint, pulled her into his chest and kissed her nose, her cheeks, her forehead. She was whispering over and over again, asking him, "how", and "why"... He didn't answer, too busy murmuring nonsense, as they sank into the forest floor.
For a while, they sat in silent bliss and relief and fear, wrapped up together and leaning against the tree. It couldn't have been more than forty-eight hours since they were last sitting like this, and yet - they were both so tired it seemed to be an eternity since they last touched.
"You weren't supposed to come," she murmured.
"How can you say such things when you would do the same?"
"But here…" Her eyes glazed over. "I'm so far from home."
"I know. I know. But Leah, if just focus you can wake up. You can bring yourself back. I know you can."
She narrowed her eyes and stared at him, as if he were speaking another language. Her voice was girlish and hoarse, so different. "I can't go back. I won't."
"Why not?"
"I have to wait. I can't - I can't go home. No. She'll find me if I try to leave and I can't face her. I can't win and she's going to use me to destroy everything."
"Leah…" he said, as gently as he could. "I promise whatever Ella tries to do to you, we can face it together. But you can't wait here in this place."
She shook her head. "No. They saved me. I just have to wait. Please, Edward, tell me you'll wait with me?"
"For what?"
She shook her head, eyes on the grass. "Demi and Miles said…. They say everyone gets sorted eventually…"
"What about our family, our friends?" She didn't respond. "What about Echo and Troy? Seth? Leah, we could die here -"
"And so what of it!" she snapped. He startled, and she scooted away from his lap, so she could properly curl into herself, alone.
"I don't put much stock in fate," she murmured. "But this is life and death. Inevitable. So much has been done to you and to me. We're both trying so hard, and for what? Let the others fight for us. We can't do anything more."
"No. Not yet."
She squeezed the hem of her pants, burying her face into her knees. "There's nothing left to fight for. I destroyed some of it and now my body's ruining the rest. I can't save anyone. I can't do it."
"Not alone." He tilted her face up. "I'm here. You have me."
She jerked away from him, shivering. "Don't. You don't know what it was like to have you leave - And I was too weak to go on without you."
"I won't deny your weakness. But is it not the same weakness in all of us? To suffer when someone we care about is gone?"
"I should've been able to handle it - If I had, she wouldn't have been able to control me." She threaded her hands in her long hair. "She's winning, she takes, and she takes, and I can't take back!"
"So much has been taken from you. Do you want to add yourself to the list?"
"Why not?" she murmured, her eyes closed. "This is not the life I wanted."
"That doesn't mean you want to die, Leah. It just means you want a different life! You can start over, with or without me. On the rez or far away. None of that matters! You were born to live, Leah. So please, tell me honestly. Don't you want to live?"
She began to sob, the heels of her hands pressed to her face. Her voice was soft and broken. "I failed everyone. I don't deserve it anymore."
"No less than me."
"I can barely look at you, knowing what I've done… What I'll do. I'm a monster."
"No. She is."
Leah looked up at him. "You think I don't -"
"It's not what happened to you. It's not your past mistakes. It's not what you are, what you can't escape. It's who you choose to be."
Leah's lips parted, but she said nothing. With some hesitation, she took hold of his hand, and was surprised to feel him nearly fall into her. Her hands frantically searched until she found the bleeding wound and she tilted his chin towards herself. "Oh god, Edward. What have you done?"
The mumbled, sheepish explanation was drowned out by her calling for help, voice still rough, as she dragged him through the forest, back to the beach. "Miles! Please, he's bleeding!"
The skeleton man lumbered over, but his tone was passive. "Then you'd best get home, if it's even still possible."
"I can't -" She choked off the statement. The last bit of confusion was hurried away, replaced by a shaky resolve. "I'm trying."
Miles and Demi supported Edward's weight with ease, and stood straight and tall as the trio watched the crashing waves. Or, really, tried not to watch Leah, who was gasping for breath, as she tried to find her escape.
She began to stir the waters when Demi called out, "Don't. You might incur the wrath of those ocean-dwellers."
Leah nodded solemnly, then produced a long, thin wand from her pocket, before lifting her hands to sky and murmuring her chant. Nothing was visible out here but the ocean in front of them and the island behind them. And while the rules of the In-Between were shaky, the rules of this place didn't exist. He had no idea how she'd acquired her tool, but she'd know better than him how to manipulate it.
"Leah!" Edward called out.
She turned to see him nod toward the clouds. Almost smiling, she blasted a shock of energy into the air, and one of the clouds was knocked loose from the sky. She thrust her other hand forward and dragged it towards the bank.
When it reached the foursome, she ran her hands over the cloud, freezing it.
"What power!" Miles remarked softly. "Reminds me of… Oh well. That was a long time ago. You two take care."
"And don't come back," added Demi.
Edward liked to imagine she was smiling, but he was chilled by her words. That, and the solid cloud Leah was easing him onto.
Leah spared them a fervent thank-you, but threw herself into operating their improvised vehicle. With a wave of her hands, she'd managed to lift them off the sand, and high, high, higher over the ocean. Beneath them, their skeletal saviors became little spots of white on the monochrome island, and then nothing. They moved so fast, and Leah leaned so far forward at the edge of the cloud, that he held onto her waist, terrified.
As they sped through the normal, gaseous matter, the world below seemed to melt into just one dark nothingness beneath them. Edward strained to hold onto Leah and stay seated on the block of ice, driving them into the air.
"Watch out!" he suddenly shouted.
Ahead of them, a mass of clouds went from eggshell white to a smoky gray. They passed through the air and debris, and it stung their eyes and noses. Coughing, Leah clumsily veered their ice-cloud to the right, but the next cloud solidified, knocking into them.
"I think it wants to keep us here," Edward shouted, rubbing his bruising knee.
"Not a chance." Leah waved her arms and curled her fingers, shuffling around the clouds and creating a clear path for them.
They eagerly went forward…
…until they hit a wall.
The ice-cloud stayed glued to the sky, trapped. Leah's hands glowed bright blue as she and Edward tried to peel it from the wall.
Edward pushed and pried, but they were met with no success. He watched Leah for a good while, and when she paused to catch her breath, he saw the cracks in her right hand, the one gripping the wand for dear life. "Stop," he told her. He tried to pry the wand out her hand. "Don't use this."
She ignored him and continued trying to melt the ice, never-minding her dry, bleeding hands.
"Stop!"
"I can't stop -"
"Still bickering?"
The clear, gray sky darkened. All that was grayscale, became one flat charcoal-like emptiness. The clouds around them grew heavy as if ready to rain.
At the sound of that voice, Edward immediately huddled over Leah, who still struggled and fiddled with the ice. He didn't know whether to divert her or to encourage her. It mattered not. They had no time and no escape.
Edward pointed upward, to where the queen hovered, no cloud or anything beneath her. Her customary gown was as bloodied and torn as Leah's were fresh and neat. Their last spar must've been horrific. But this did not comfort him much. Whatever didn't kill Ella would make her angrier.
"How dare you insult me by raising a hand to me? As if you could ever hope to be a fraction of what I am," the queen scolded her guardian.
"Get out of here," Leah threatened, raising the wand.
"You are nothing but your anger. Your loneliness. Your pain. These are at the root of your being. I can see them. They're weaknesses, and so foul they make me ill."
Leah gritted her teeth. "I am not weak."
"Aren't you? You can't go a day without your pet vampire. And that little wolf boy broke you so easily. If I hadn't stepped in, who knows where you'd be?"
For a moment, Leah tensed, but then forced herself to relax, nearly slumping over. "You are right. I am hurt. I am angry. I'm guilty and I am so, so lonely. Some days that's all I feel. I thought I was getting better, that I could find happiness by contributing to the greater good. By being a hero."
Ella lifted her chin triumphantly. "Yes."
"But I was wrong. I didn't need power to be happy. I didn't need to be a hero to move on. I didn't need this role. I was already loving and protecting everyone. I watched movies I hated with my brother, I helped my mom cook and clean. I ran with my father." Her voice cracked. "I laughed and I smiled and I gave. I was there for a reason - to love so many people. To love me. I was already important and giving something to the world, and I should have remembered that. Maybe then I would never have fallen apart so many times. I never would've wanted your help."
"Are you certain?" the queen mocked.
"There is one thing I'm sure about now. I'm not the worst parts of myself. I may be a monster right now, but no matter what you say or do to me, I will always be me!"
Leah's eyes and hands flashed an electric blue as she shot a promising blow to the queen's heart.
The queen dodged the attack, and dove in. In just a few violent seconds, Leah was on her back, and the monarch was crouching over her, bloodied nails digging into her throat.
Edward started for his shapeshifter, but the queen bared her teeth. "One step closer, boy, and she's dead."
"You awful, disgusting excuse for a person, you unhand her at once!" he shouted. Cold as he was, human as he was, weak as he was. He couldn't contain himself.
Leah waved an arm. "Don't," she whispered. "It's over, Edward."
And he wanted to scream at her, at both of them. For the resignation in Leah's eyes was impossible to ignore. She wanted him to give up and give in. He was so blown away, he almost fell off the cloud.
The queen smirked. "It looks like you're outvoted." She pointed her wand at Leah's temple. "It's time to surrender, my darling. When you wake up, you'll be safe in the realm."
Leah looked away from the queen and away from Edward. Despite the pain she was about to suffer, there was a look of finality and disappointment. Edward couldn't believe this. Here he was, following her to hell. And he had only burdened her, argued with her, confused her. He was ashamed of himself.
He gave voice to the first thought of his mind. "What about my wish?"
Ella's wand lost its color. She blinked, confused. Then she laughed fully, head thrown back. The sound was repulsive. "What do you possibly think could fix this? You have no idea what you've gotten into, boy."
"It's the least you can do." He met Leah's drooping eyes, and felt the alarm hidden beneath the fatigue. "After all, I think - I see now - you are more than a queen."
She rolled her eyes. But her head turned just a fraction his way. Amused, she prompted, "What am I?"
"You're a survivor. And a fighter. And now matter how much I disagree with you, and your quest for power… you really did envision a stronger, safer realm for your people. I didn't really believe that before." Edward sighed, his gaze on the rainclouds. "I should've believed that. I don't agree with most people I care about - that doesn't make them wrong."
"If you hope to flatter me, you'll have to do better than that."
"It's not just that. You fight and you struggle for more because you're scared. You've seen what it was like to lose, to be hunted, to be judged. For the love and fear of your people, you sacrificed so much. You gave up your son, because you thought the people would be better off. You don't love yourself. You love the kingdom. It's what you'd hate to lose, above all else."
The queen looked bored, but not anymore angry. "Yes, yes, you're very smart. Your projections are apt, but what do you want me to do?" she snarked.
"I love Leah. And I would hate to lose her. And if you take her away from us, if you let her destroy us, she will never, ever forgive. She wouldn't work with you. She would plot against you. Now, you may very well figure out a way to make her into a proper puppet. But no matter what you do to us today, all of our people will be a plague upon the clan. You will start wars you never could have imagined. You will spend your eternity in hiding, never to feel the earthly sun on your face again. All you can do is move on. Away from her and away from us. Making her into your little toy would be the worst thing for your kingdom."
There was a flicker of annoyance, but Edward could sense the give in her tone when she spoke. She was entertained, and she would hide behind that, but she was listening. "Unless?"
"Unless you -" He swallowed. "Reclaim your gift."
"You ridiculous child. The process is even more agonizing than what I had planned. You'd all but ensure her death. You'd both be left to die here."
"As opposed to you torturing her until she lets you control her magic for the rest of her life?" He shook his head sadly. "We've already lost."
The queen narrowed her eyes. "I meant to show her mercy."
Edward, after a moment's reflection, stated, "I want you to strip away every bit of magic from her soul, and take it as your own. That is my final wish."
The queen's sharp fingernails still dug into the delicate skin of Leah's throat. The young woman could hardly focus her gaze. Ella observed her for a moment, then eased herself away from the shapeshifter, whose head slammed down too hard on the cloud. Edward flew to her side and cradled her as best he could. For a long minute, the only sound came from two pacing glass slippers clicking against the translucent, melting ice.
"Suppose I agree. You do realize this won't save your coven or your pack?"
"I do."
"Ah, and there it is." She tilted her chin down, her expression regaining some of its old sugary affection. "You've recognized your role in the story. I thank you for your sacrifice." She turned to Leah. "Are you ready?"
Edward tightened his hold on his love, who looked up at him and touched his face. "Thank you for understanding. I know you didn't want to," Leah whispered.
He curled over her protectively. "You gave it your all, my love." And then, to his shock, he felt the warm tears on his face. He marveled at the sensation and froze, overwhelmed. One raced past his chin and dropped onto Leah's forehead.
She reached up and touched the spot. The same conflicting emotions overcame her too. "That's new."
The queen recaptured her wand and she loomed over them. "Enough chit-chat. Let's put this tragedy to a neat end."
A mist of magic poured from the baton, hazy and sparkling and the only spot of color in this gray, gray, graveyard. Unhurriedly, it swirled an enchanting dance in the air, before drifting past Edward's baffled, petrified body, and seeking Leah's, where it poured into her left ear. The girl gasped. Bit by bit, her dark brown irises faded into a milky blue. Her face contorted in pain. The tearing of her powers from her soul had begun.
"Edward!" She instinctively tried to burrow into him, away from the pure torture but it was no use.
"Release your power, Leah Clearwater," the queen commanded in an echoing voice. Her eyes were a matching blue, but strength radiated from every fiber of her being. "Release your power onto my soul."
Edward watched as a shadow broke through the surface of Leah's body. It was faint, but present - something sapphire and murky formed. A head, two arms, and a torso. The wand called to it, beckoned it, and the shadow drifted to the queen.
Ella tilted her head back in ecstasy as she felt the Guardian's strength take hold. "Finally," she intoned. "What is sent out must come back."
Leah's hands locked over her ears, as if she could shut out the process. She was shaking so violently Edward had to keep her from tumbling off their precipice.
He was instantly regretful. How foolish and selfish could he be? Leah was in no state to agree to this. When he found her here, she had already been dazed and agitated. Who was he to now seal their fate, when his more determined, more capable girl couldn't do it herself?
When this was over, he hoped he would not remain long. He would surrender to the deep below them, if need be.
"Stop," he found himself saying. "You're making her suffer on purpose!"
"Silence," the queen hissed. "I need my focus."
"End this already!"
"Don't," Leah whispered. "Don't. I need…"
His mouth went dry and his love and his fear were so at odds he could say little more but, "Just relax, Leah."
"No, I - Oh!"
The ghost of her powers stopped short, no longer flowing steadily into the queen's wand and feeding her greed.
Ella tightened her grip and stormed closer. "Quiet, the both of you! We can't stop now!"
Leah cried out, "It won't work!"
The ghost Ella had stirred out of Leah's spirit, the essence of her magic, was no longer formless. An enormous wolf's head had taken shape, complete with fierce, glittering eyes and sharp, threatening teeth.
Leah gasped for breath, tried to stand. Edward caught her as she swayed, but she did not lose her will. "It's you who's unworthy of my power. Not me."
The spirit of Leah's wolf lunged at the queen, once but a head, now a fully-formed, powerful body. The azure wolf sank its teeth into Queen Ella's flesh, separating bone from muscle from skin, over and over and over. The old woman screeched, flinging spell after spell and lighting up the sky with her magic.
Finally, she managed to hurl the beast away from herself and over the edge. She was bedraggled, stunned, and furious. But the fear. The fear had fully broken through.
"You've lost," Leah said. It was soft, not even triumphant. Just honest and tired.
The queen raised her free hand to slap Leah. Or she would've.
The funny thing is - Edward was scared. Probably more than any of the three, though he had the least at stake. But even still, many of his instincts remained. And seeing that hand coming toward Leah…
He leaned over and bit down on Ella's wrist.
It couldn't have done much physical damage, even if it hurt terribly. But the shock of it sent her stumbling back a bit. "How can you -"
She was just a little too close to the edge.
Leah snatched the wand (again) and elbowed the queen. The monarch was launched down into the waters, where she'd meet some of the few people she couldn't cheat, prod, and persuade.
For a long moment, they were stuck together, too afraid she'd resurface with a pointy reckoning to shudder them. But nothing came. The wind kept whistling. The sun kept shining. The "world" was still turning.
Edward pressed a palm to his chest, jostling Leah. "Damn it."
"Right. I should have got us home sooner," Leah said, already examining him. "Your shoulder…"
"No, it's this heart I've borrowed," Edward sighed. "It's like it knows it's in the wrong body."
Leah reached up to touch him, but her look of concern became one of horror. She pointed over his shoulder. "That."
The sun wasn't setting. It was falling. So were the clouds. The breeze was gone. No birds flew overhead. The ocean below seemed to grow farther and farther away, but whether they were moving or the water, they couldn't tell. Edward tried to pull Leah tighter. But the sky, or the absence of it, was the worst threat.
Like paper, like fabric, an invisible force sliced through the sky, revealing dark space behind it. Everywhere, all around them, the once nearly-idyllic island scene was revealed to be nothing more than a backdrop.
Beneath their feet, the ice began to crack.
"Leah!"
She had stumbled back but still clung to his hand, even as they moved away from each other.
"Red," Leah insisted. "Save them. Save them all. Promise me -"
"I promise I will."
Another crack, and Leah's ice dropped a little. Edward's fingers barely brushed hers.
"And if nothing else, promise me you'll live."
He felt the burden of her words crushing him. "I -"
She screamed as the ice shattered beneath her feet. One second, she was a few meters away. The next, she was gone.
Edward shouted her name, but before he could contemplate any particulars, he was tossed into the abyss.
He looked around. Color was returning. Cars honked and birds cooed. The sweet smell of bakery bread. He turned a corner and landed on a city street. People surrounded him, carrying shopping bags, chatting on cell phones. Parents pushed strollers and runners zipped by with earphones in. A street dancer performed in a park. He wondered how he had gotten home so quickly.
But this wasn't home.
His discomfort battled and lost against the overwhelming familiarity. He didn't need to leave. This… this was where he belonged.
A small boy was at his side. He had an adorable smile, with two missing front teeth. Edward didn't know when he started caring about children, but here, he was full of affection and hope and peace.
"You could die here," the boy grinned. "If you want."
"I don't want," he blurted. He shook his head. What was he saying? "How do I live?"
To his surprise, the boy skipped a little, then wings fanned out behind him, and he was flying. He whistled all the while, leading him into the trees.
Falling.
Falling.
He could feel himself falling, falling back to the earth. There were voices around him, a buzz of millions of people chatting. There was wind in his ears.
Yet he was still fading. His body, once so strong, once a god, continued to crumble.
His fingers were breaking apart. His heart, his blood-dried rock of a heart, was being crushed. A fracture at his neck, a tear running down his side.
His eyes pried open. He forced himself to turn over, to face his destination.
No earth in sight, however. All he could see was her. Leah. Standing, eyes dead, breath gone. Tall and strong. But completely helpless.
Only this time, when she opened her mouth, blood gurgled out from her lips, it ran down her skin and dyed her shirt.
Had it been for nothing?
Had he failed?
He roared in anger, and new cracks and tears formed along his face and his mouth split open along the sides. He felt each tear now, how pieces of him spun to different directions, the slash across his eyes.
He understood he was now dust, never to live again.
(Some gods were like that, you could destroy their form, but never their soul.)
His soul, on the other hand, would burn for this failure.