To all of you reading my fanfic. Don't let the 'M' fool you, there's no smut in the fic. There's love and freindship, and references to drug use, and the occasional F-bomb, but no sex. They're all genderless aliens with supernatural strength, what the hell were you expecting?

Enjoy my latest fanfiction! And I do not own 'Steven Universe.'

Chapter 1

New Friends…Crap.

Pink Diamond's Salvage Station.

A pink, top-shaped station way out on the border of Homeworld's galaxy. It wasn't a very big station, nor was it a very respected station. This was where Pink Diamond had any and all alien artifacts delivered and analysed. Namely, artifacts from Earth. This was how Pink Diamond kept tabs on the planet of humans and their progress. The Salvage Station sent a squadron of Collection Pods to random locations on Earth. Once enough stock of Earth items was gathered, it was brought back to the Salvage Station, where the items were processed and documented.

In the docking bay of the station, a pair of Amethysts, two big, imposing soldiers with long, pale hair, watched as the Collection Pods flew into the hangar bay. Each egg-shaped Collection Pod would fly back into the station and land in a large, three pronged claw protruding out of either the floor or the ceiling. There were about a hundred of the black pods. Whenever the pod landed in its designated claw, the top of the pod would open up, and the pilot would hop out. Most of the pilots were Rubies. It had to be a small Gem, since the cockpits were so small. When the pilot exited the pod, a Peridot or a Sphene would come up and approve the load of Earth objects and then the pods would be whisked away by the claws. The walls momentarily opening up for the pods to be whisked through.

"This is so boring." One of the Amethysts complained. "We are literally guarding a junkyard."

"Take it easy, 7YK. There were worse ideas for what to do with us than this." The other Amethyst said. "And besides, a lot of this Earth stuff is kinda neat. Remember those red sticks that blew up when we lit them on fire?"

"Well, yeah. Those things were awesome, I won't deny that. But come on, 9SW. We could at least be doing Quartz stuff. Just because we were made on Earth, that doesn't automatically make us useless."

9SW shrugged. "Earth Gems working with Earth stuff. Makes sense when you think about it."

7YK blew a raspberry. "If Pink Diamond wanted us to do Earth stuff, then why did we ever leave that planet. I actually liked that place."

"Ah, I think the natives went a little hostile and started attacking Gems or something like that." 9SW replied. "Plus, after the, uh… you know… incident… Earth is a kind of a no-go zone. We barely get enough clearance to send these old pods to Earth."

"Oh… yeah, that." 7YK said awkwardly. "Still though, a little excitement around here wouldn't hurt."

A pod suddenly flew into the bay with sloppy piloting. It seemed to have trouble staying on course. The pod knocked over a few other pods before slamming down onto the floor.

"Oh, stars! I gotta watch what I say!" 7YK said.

The two Amethysts hurried over to the downed pod. The big, black egg was turned over on it's side, with the hatch on the opposite side the Quartzes. The top of the pod opened up like the Alien egg, and a very small Amethyst somersaulted out of the cockpit and landed on the floor with a pose.

"'Sup, bitches?! Tiny Amethyst in the house, yo!"

7YK and 9SW slapped their foreheads in perfect unison. The small Amethyst's unforgettable voice was more high-pitched than theirs was. "First off; Please stop trying to speak to us in Human, we cannot understand the language." 9SW complained. "Second; What the cosmos, 8XM?!"

"We take a big enough risk letting you go to Earth to collect. All we ask is that you keep it on auto-pilot!" said 7YK.

"Aw, come on, guys. This is the last run I'm gonna be able to make for a while." 8XM folded her hands behind her back and kicked at the floor. "I just wanted to have a little more fun before I have to go back to the Factory."

7YK and 9SW both sighed. "We know you hate it there, but you need to be careful." said 9SW. "Every off-color knows it's dangerous-"

"Being an off-color." 8XM crossed her arms. "Yeah, I know."

7YK bit her lip. "So… how was your haul… yo?" she asked in an attempt to ease the tension.

8XM's eyes lit back up. "Oh, I got a good haul this time!" The little Gem ran up and banged her fist against the pod. "I am so keeping some of this stuff!"

A loud moan of pain sounded from the inside of the pod.

The three Amethysts backed away from the pod. "Ah, dangit. Did a native Earth creature get inside the pod?" 9SW asked.

"Every time we send these pods to Earth, we get a dead animal in one of them." 7YK complained. "Every freaking time!"

"I think whatever's in there is still alive." said 8XM.

"Which is shocking, to say the least." 9SW added. "Alright 8XM, what did you put in the pod?"

"I didn't put an organic in the pod!" 8XM protested. "I didn't even interact with any organic life except for-" the little Gem's eyes widened with panic. "...Uh-oh."

"Why 'uh-oh'?" 9SW asked.

8XM brought her hands together and twiddled her thumbs. "Well… I think there's a human in my pod."

"A human?" 7YK asked. "How did a human get in your pod? And how the heck is it still alive?"

"Well, this is definitely a first." 9SW remarked. "I guess we'll just shoot it into space like we normally do with any organic life we find in the pods."

"Woah! Hold on!" 8XM threw her hands up in front of her. "We can't just kill it! We should get Amber down here, she'll know what to do!"

7YK shuddered. "I really don't want Amber to know about this. You know she flips her stone over this kind of stuff."

"And she'd never let you hear the end of it if she were to find out you killed a living human that we found in a pod." said 8XM. "So… blackmail?"

"Oh, you dirty rock." 9SW grumbled. "Fine, we'll have Amber come down and take a look at it. Let's just look inside and see if it's still alive first."

"Okay!" 8XM replied.

The three Amethysts walked around the pod to the hatch on the other side. However, they all gawked at what they saw.

The hatch was open, and a trail of red fluid led out of the pod. The trial snaked its way into a nearby open corridor, as if whatever the fluid was dripping from couldn't move in a straight line. There was no human in the pod.

9SW reached out and touched the red liquid. It was sticky in texture and smelled faintly of rusted metal.

9SW grimaced. "Yuck." she wiped the red fluid off on her uniform. "This thing may not be dead, but I'm pretty sure they're not supposed to be leaking."

"You mean it's hurt?" 8XM asked. Worry and guilt developed on her face. "We have to find it then!"

"'We' are not looking for a dying human in the facility." 9SW stated firmly. "But 'you' are definitely doing that."

8XM blinked up at the bigger Amethyst. "What?"

"You brought the human here, so you're going to find it." 9SW said. "Me and 7YK are going to contact Amber and tell her about the situation while you look for the human."

"Honestly, I think you've got the easier job." said 7YK.

"Oh… Okay." said 8XM.

"Just follow the trail, it'll lead you right to it." 9SW pointed to the red fluid. "And be careful; As fragile as humans are, they can get pretty violent."

"It didn't seem very violent." 8XM muttered before she followed the trail of fluid into the station.

7YK sighed once the little Gem had wandered off. "She needs to be more careful."

"Yeah, I know." 9SW said. "But you know she hates being confined, and she hates being an off-color even more."

"It's no wonder she likes going to Earth so much." 7YK said. "No one there to remind her she… came out wrong."

"Did she?" 9SW asked. "Sometimes I feel like she's the only one who came out right."

With that said, the Quartz soldier turned around and walked off. "I'll contact Amber."

8XM tried to be quick in following the trail of fluid, but something kept her from moving very fast. The small Gem was beginning to think it might be guilt.

"You didn't kill the human." she told herself. "The human killed itself when it crawled into your Collection Pod…after you stole its music maker and put it in the pod for the human to find… But-but, hey. It's not dead, it's just dying. So, I basically didn't do anything wrong."

That didn't actually make 8XM feel any better.

The Amethyst followed the trail of fluid through the pink hall. The trail led her to an observation window. Outer space could be seen through it. There was a handprint of red fluid on the polycarbonate and there was a lot of the fluid on the floor below the handprint. 8XM guessed the human had been here, and had stood here for a while before moving on.

8XM looked out the observation window and sighed. "It's not that great." she said before continuing down the trail of fluid.

The little Gem was kind of impressed by how far the human had traveled through the station. She always thought of humans as way easier to kill, but this human seemed to really not want to die. The line of fluid was getting a lot more sporadic, though, like the human was having trouble walking on its own two legs. The trail led to a three-way, corridor intersection. The fluid went right, so 8XM did the same.

That's when she saw the human.

It was lying on the floor with its back propped up on the wall. A three pronged hook was stuck in its arm. The red fluid was all over the right side of its body and on the floor. Its skin was pale and its breathing was shallow and hoarse. It seemed to have trouble keeping its eyes open.

8XM gasped in horror. "Oh my stars! You look terrible!"

The human just moaned.

8XM looked at the hook in the human's arm. "Oh, fracture. That looks bad."

The human eyes began to close.

"Hey, hey!" 8XM ran up and repeatedly patted the human's forehead. "Don't expire on me!"

Recognition shone in the human's eyes as they focused on 8XM. "...You." he croaked.

8XM smiled guiltily. "Yeah, it's me. Sorry about stealing your music maker… and for technically abducting you… and for my sloppy piloting skills which is probably why you have a hook in your arm and why you're dying."

"...Don't worry… about it."

"Heh, heh. Okay, cool." said 8XM. "I'm Amethyst, by the way. Amethyst Facet-5 Cut-8XM. But, you can just call me Amethyst."

"...Name's… Greg… nice to… meet you."

"Greg, huh?" Amethyst giggled. "That's fun to say. Greg… Gerreg… Greeeeeeg. Ha-ha."

Greg's eyes closed.

Amethyst frowned. "Hey! Open your eyes back up!"

He did not.

"Oh-no, oh-no, oh-no." Amethyst grabbed the human by the fleece it wore. "I need to get you to Amber!"

Have you ever met the Bogeyman before?

No, of course you're much to good I'm sure;

Don't you be afraid of him if he should visit you.

He's a great big coward, so I'll show you what to do.

Hush, hush, hush. Here comes the Bogeyman.

Don't let him come too close to you, he'll catch you if he can.

Just pretend that you're a crocodile,

And you will find that Bogeyman will run away a mile.

Say 'shoo, shoo', and stick him with a pin

Bogeyman will very nearly jump out of his skin.

Say 'buzz, buzz', just like the wasps that sting.

Bogeyman will think you are an elephant with wings.

"...Good night, Greg."

With a gasp, Greg's eyes shot open. It wasn't all that nice of an awakening, since the first thing he saw when he opened his eyes was the face of a lunatic.

"HELLO!" the face shouted. "It's SO nice to meet you!"

"GAH-AH-AH!" Greg cried as he quickly sat up and scooted away, only to fall off the levitating body bed he had been laying on. He landed on the floor with a painful 'oof'.

"Oops! Didn't mean to scare ya!"

Whoever this weirdo was, she definitely seemed friendly if nothing else. Like Amethyst was purple, the one's skin was the color of honey, with orange-brown hair tied in a bun. The bun was a perfect cube, as if she used industrial hairspray to shape it. She had a thin body and seemed to be a little taller than Greg. She was dressed in what looked like a uniform with a pink diamond sigil on her midsection, right below a strange, shiny, yellow-orange, oval stone embedded in her chest, right where the heart would be. Her face was set in a crazy grin, a pair of square glasses were worn over her orange eyes. All in all, she looked like a college girl who was way into anime and watched Disney shows religiously.

Greg stared up in fear at the strange, orange woman. "What the...Who the...How the...Where the…?!"

"Take it easy, human. Take it easy." the orange lady said. "You're called Greg, right? Little Amethyst said you told her that was your name."

Greg looked behind the weird lady and saw the purple girl from before that had called herself Amethyst. She was flanked by a pair of really buff women with long hair and skin that looked almost exactly like Amethyst's. They both wore uniforms similar to the weird orange lady, with a pink, diamond sigil on their midsection. One of them had a purple, round stone in her shoulder, while the other had one in her forearm. They were all in a strange laboratory of sorts, like something from an award-winning syfy movie. But some of the equipment looked ridiculously advanced to Greg.

Greg gulped. "Where… Where the heck am I?!" he asked. "And who the heck are you people?!"

"Woah! It can talk?!" the one with the rock in her forearm asked in disbelief. "I thought they just babbled nonsense to each other?"

"A lot of them do." Amethyst said. "But this one can talk right. He can even sing and play music!"

"Huh. It kinda looks like a Quartz with that hair." the one with the rock in her shoulder remarked. "Can it fight?"

"NO!" Greg threw his hands up protectively. "No it can't!" That's when he noticed the hook was out of his arm. Greg's panic was replaced with confusion as he examined his now completely healed arm. It didn't hurt, there was no blood, even his jacket had been mended. "My arm…"

"Impressed?" the weird lady asked. "Yeah, I know you are! No Gem knows organic material better than me! That is a genuine guarantee!" the lady's face lit up and she clapped her hands. "HA-HA! That rhymed!"

The three purples just rolled their eyes. Greg continued to stare at the strange, brightly colored lady in confusion and fear. He stood up on his feet, but stayed a safe couple of feet away from the lady. "Uhhhh… Am…am I dead? Is this what the afterlife is like?" Greg asked. "Because if it is then I have to say, it's kind of a let down."

"You're not dead." The weird lady said with a laugh. "I just saved you from being dead. HA! Silly human."

Greg blinked. "...Why did you call me a human… like you're not one?"

All four of the colorful ladies snickered. "Come on, human. Take a good look at us." the weird orange lady spread her arms. "We may look the part a bit, but do you really think we're humans?"

Greg took a step back. "So… what… are you?"

"I guess some introductions are needed." Weird lady said. "So, first off," she waved her hand at Greg. "Hi. I'm Amber Facet-7 Cut-9LG. Amber, for short." she then shoved her hand in front of Greg's startled face. "This is how humans greet each other, right?"

Greg stared at the hand in front of his face in bewilderment, then he slowly reached up and grabbed Amber's hand in his own. He moved the hand away from his face and shook it in greeting. "Nice to meet you." he said hesitantly.

Amber's eyes sparkled at the way Greg shook her hand. "I'm participating in a human greeting ceremony." she breathed. The image of the handshake appeared on both of the lenses of her glasses, then they shrunk into the corner like they were being stored in a folder. "Image documented."

"Woah. Google glasses." Greg marveled.

"Yee-hee-hee!" Amber squealed in delight as she released Greg's hand. "Okay. Okay. Back to introductions. These three are Amethyst Facet-5 Cut-7YK,"

The one with the stone in her forearm raised a hand in greeting.

"Amethyst Facet-5 Cut-9SW,"

The one with the stone in her shoulder nodded her head.

"And you already know Amethyst Facet-5 Cut-8XM."

Amethyst stuck her tongue out and flashed Greg a peace sign.

"And you're Greg, right?" Amber asked. "Hee-hee! That's not a name you hear very often!"

Greg blinked. "...Okay… So, the three of you purple ladies are all named Amethyst? Also, why do all of your names sound like serial numbers?"

"You have a lot to learn about Gems, my human friend." Amber said. "That's what we are, by the way. Gems."

Greg remembered looking into the void of space as he was bleeding out. He then recalled the memory of the Earth shrinking into the starry distance. Realization dawned on Greg's face. Horrible, terrible realization.

"...I'm not on Earth anymore, am I?"

All four Gems shook their heads.

"And you guys are…" Greg took another nervous step back. "Are…"

"Aliens?" Amber asked, a knowing smile on her face. "That's a bit of a broad statement, don't you think? We are Gems, yes, and you are a human. Two races that are completely alien to each other. Seems to me like the 'A' word can go both ways, hmm?"

Greg gave it some thought. "Yeah. I… I guess you're right."

A big grin formed on Amber's face. "You wanna see something cool?"

Greg nodded, figuring he didn't really have a choice.

"Ha-ha-HA!" Amber laughed. "You're gonna love this!" Amber walked to the wall and the part of the wall she was standing in front of slid open like a secret door. She gestured for Greg to follow before walking through the door. With a scared gulp, Greg walked after the Gem. The three Amethysts followed Greg out of the lab and the door closed.

"The purpose of this facility is to keep tabs on the process of Earth and the dominant species of the planet." Amber explained as she led Greg through the station, with the three Amethysts bringing up the rear side by side. "You humans have held that title for a while now, so it's mostly your species we keep track of."

Greg looked around dumbfounded as he watched different Gems of different shapes, sizes and colors walking around, doing their duties, working with tools and gadgets that were beyond anything humans could ever create.

"We send a squadron of Collection Pods to your planet every ten Earth years. The pilots we send with them gather up anything that might be used for data, and then they return to this station for analysis." Amber continued. "We've been doing this for centuries, and let me tell ya, you humans have really gone up from sticks and stones."

"If you people come to Earth every decade, then how have we not noticed anything?" Greg asked.

"You humans have done pretty good with the resources available to you, technology-wise." Amber said. "But it's nothing compared to what us Gems are capable of."

"Yeah, no kidding." Greg looked around. "This stuff is borderline magic."

"It is magic, ya dope." Little Amethyst said.

"Yyyyyup!" Amber agreed. "Gems are magic, and there is no scientific explanation I could give you to help you understand it." Amber held her hand out for Greg to see. The hand glowed, then morphed into a pincher. Amber snapped her new crab-like appendage. "Everything that a human claims is impossible, a Gem can do."

Greg felt like he had swallowed his own tongue by mistake.

Amber morphed her hand back to normal. "Of course, that's just shapeshifting. Every Gem can do that. Each type of Gem possesses their own unique ability. Quartzes have their strength, Rubies have their fire, Sapphires have their future vision, and so on and so forth. Any questions?"

"Oh, I've got a lot of those, but I'll start small for now." said Greg. "I don't want to be rude, but I noticed that none of the Gems I've seen so far are male. Are you all female? Do you guys have an Island of Amazons thing going on?"

"Gems might be feminate, and use the feminate pronouns she and her, where human males use the pronouns he, his, and him, but Gems actually have no genders." Amber explained.

Greg blinked. "No genders?"

"That's right!" said Amber. "Gems don't have genders. We don't have males or females, or anything in between. See, Gems are non-organic. We don't have organs or anything like that, unless we were to shapeshift them for kicks. Our bodies are made of light projected from our gems." Amber tapped the stone in her chest. "This little thing is all we are."

"Seriously?" Greg asked. "So if your bodies are like solid holograms or something, then how do you…" Greg coughed into his fist. "...Reproduce?"

"We pop out of the ground." Little Amethyst said.

"What, like a plant?" Greg asked.

"Nah, we incubate in the ground and then we burst out." 7YK siad.

"It's a fairly simple process," said 9SW. "I remember when I was made. At first there was nothing, and then there was everything."

7YK sighed in happy remembrance. "Ah, that was a good day. We had the whole Prime Kindergarten group together."

"Yeah, except me." Amethyst said glumly.

The other two Amethysts looked at each other with guilty expressions, like they were both trying to scold each other for saying anything.

"...Uh, okay. I'll skip to another question." Greg said. "Let's see; magic, all chicks with no gender, been keeping tabs on humans without us knowing, boy, the guys on Ancient Aliens would kill for this stuff… Yeah, I got a million targets, but I have no idea which one to shoot at."

"That's fine." said Amber. The group had arrived at a large door. "Once you see this, it may not answer many questions, but it will give you a better understanding of who and what we are."

Amber placed her hand on the door and it illuminated, then the two halves of the door slid apart, opening the way into a strange room. The honey-colored Gem was bouncing on her heels in excitement. "I can't wait to see the look on your face!" Amber hurried into the room. Greg wasn't all that anxious to follow her in, but the Amethysts ushered him inside. The door closed on them once they were all in.

The room was mostly bare. Just a large, black room. In the center of the room, floating above a pedestal, was a blue hologram of a planet. Although, the planet looked a little out of shape. It was broken in pieces, which floated together like a badly put together puzzle. The broken planet had two Saturn-like rings surrounding it.

"What the heck is that?" Greg asked.

"That's Homeworld." said Amber. "The Gem Homeworld."

"Looks a little rough." Greg commented. "Someone needs to push the pieces back together. Then it would look better."

"Oh, don't like it?" Amber asked. "How about a closer look?"

Amber tapped the hologram.

Greg and the Gems were suddenly somewhere else. Greg yelped in fear at the sudden change in his surroundings. There was no clear way to fully describe what Greg was seeing. It was as chaotic as it was beautiful. Standing up above on a large pyramid-like structure, Greg saw an immense city of various lights. The architecture of the city was insane. The one thing that Greg could focus on without feeling like he was getting a seizure was the lake-sized, four-piece diamond down below, made of a blue, yellow, pink, and white diamond. At each colored point of the diamond, an enormous structure stood. The yellow and blue diamonds had a giant yellow and blue arm resting on a giant pedestal of the same color. The pink diamond had a giant pair of pink legs for it's display, and the white one had a humongous white torso, chest and head with huge, spiked hair.

Greg tried and failed to steady his breathing, and he forgot how to use his tongue.

"This is Homeworld." Amber stated. "And we are Gems. A race of interstellar colonists, ruled by The Great Diamond Authority. As humans are the dominant race of Earth, Gems are the dominant race of the entire universe." Amber grinned. "Pretty impressive, right?"

Greg made no indication he could even hear Amber. He just continued to stare at the majesty of Homeworld with eyes wide with every kind of emotion.

Amber tapped the hologram again and they were all back in the black room. Amber turned to the still startled Human. "So… Any more questions?"

Greg slowly met Amber's gaze. "...Can I go home now?"

Amber blinked her eyes and frowned. "Huh," she tapped her chin thoughtfully. "You know, it just now occurred to me that you'd probably want to go back to Earth."

"Well… can't I?"

"No."

Terror to a hold of Greg. "What?! Why not?!"

"As awesome as it would be, we don't have the clearance to just go to Earth whenever we feel like it." Amber explained like it was obvious. "We're allowed to send a squadron of Collection Pods to Earth, all while making sure not to alert the humans of any of our activities, every Earth decade. Other than that, so much as flying near the planet's atmosphere is strictly prohibited. We can send you to Earth on a modified Collection Pod in ten years if you'd like."

"Ten years?! I can't wait ten years!" Greg shouted.

"Ooo, right. That's a long time for a human." Amber recalled. "Look, I'm sorry. There's nothing I can do without bringing the law down on all of us."

"W-well isn't there somebody I can talk to?!" Greg asked. His voice filled with panic. "The Great Diamond Authority or whatever you called it. Can't we talk to them and sort this out?!"

The four Gems all looked at each other. Then all at once, they burst into laughter.

Greg just stared at them. "What? What'd I say?"

Amber's laughter simmered down to a chuckle as she wiped away a tear. "I… I'm sorry. Greg, we cannot just bring you to the Diamonds and ask for a ride back to Earth for you." Amber made it sound like the very idea was ridiculous.

"Why not?" Greg asked.

"Because you're an organic life form, dude." Amethyst said. "The Diamonds would sooner listen to a Pearl before they would listen to anything you have to say."

"So what if I'm organic?" Greg asked. "Do the Diamonds not like organics?"

"When it comes to the Gem food chain, to put it in a way you'll understand, the Diamonds are on the top, and the Pebbles are on the bottom." said Amber. "And anything organic, be it plant or animal, is below even them. It's not that the Diamonds don't like organics, it's that they don't really see them as significant in any way."

"Seriously?" said Greg. "So if Gems are so superior, then how come you guys have been so nice to me?"

"Oh, we've got nothing against organics. In fact, we think humans in particular are great." answered Amber. "Me especially. I was made to be a scholar of organic life, and you humans have been my favorite field of study for ages!"

"And besides, all us Earthies have to stick together." Amethyst added.

"Earthies?" Greg asked.

"The point is," Amber quickly said, as if eager to change the subject. "We have no problem with you, and you're welcome to stay here in the Salvage Station for as long as you need. Don't worry, I know how to keep a human alive for ten years."

"I appreciate that, but I can't spend the next ten years in a space station!" Greg said. "There's gotta be some way to get me home!" Greg's eyes became filled with desperation and fear. "Please!"

"Take it easy, human. I never said it was hopeless." Amber replied. "Tell you what. I'll contact my Diamond and see what she has to say about the situation."

"I thought the Diamonds didn't care about organic life?" Greg asked.

"Most of them don't. But out of the four Diamonds; Pink Diamond, Blue Diamond, Yellow Diamond, and White Diamond; Pink Diamond, my Diamond, is actually quite fond of organic life."

"Okay, sweet." said Greg. "Let's go talk to her."

"Woah, woah, hold on. I'll contact Pink Diamond, and see if she'll help you out." Amber replied. "Pink Diamond is pretty compassionate and benign, but she already has a lot on her agenda, and she may not want to add one more problem to it."

"I'll get down on my knees and beg if I have too." Greg said. "Tell her there's nothing I won't do for her if it means getting back home."

"Okay, I will. But, she might ask for you to cut off your own arm so she can eat it."

"...WHAT?!"

"HA-HA-HA! Gotcha!" Amber exclaimed. "Ah, don't worry. The only Gem you'll have to worry about eating you would probably be little Amethyst."

Greg looked over at Amethyst, who gave him a toothy grin.

Irony.

Defined as a state of affairs or an event that seems deliberately contrary to what one expects and is often amusing as a result. Greg did not find it all amusing, though.

Staring through the observation deck, Greg could see the vast grandeur of outer space. It was gorgeous. More incredible than anything Greg had ever seen in his life. This was something he had been dreaming of since he was five years old, and here it was, right in front of him. The beguiling expanse of celestial bodies within the vacuum of space was mesmerizing. No picture, no painting, no movie or show even came close to capturing the true beauty of the cosmos.

Greg would have given anything to be back on Earth and away from it all.

He was too lost in thought to notice Amber and Amethyst walk up to him. "Hey, hey, human friend! We've got good news!" Amber shouted. "We contacted Pink Diamond, and she said she wanted to talk to you!"

"The three of us are going to meet up with her Pearl and she'll take us to her!" said Amethyst. "She's really nice, you'll love her! I mean Pink Diamond, not her Pearl. Her Pearl is kinda snooty."

Greg didn't seem to notice the Gems. He didn't even seem to hear Amber or Amethyst at all. He just stared out the window into space with a sad look.

Amber and Amethyst glanced at each other questioningly. "Hey, did you hear me? We got you an audience with Pink Diamond. You're one step closer to getting back to Earth!" said Amber.

Greg tore his eyes away from space. "Oh, sorry guys. I guess I'm just a little distracted."

The two Gems both gave Greg sympathetic smiles. "We know you miss Earth, but Pink Diamond will get you back home. Don't worry." Amethyst said.

"It's not just that." Greg said. "You guys are a race of magic, all feminate, space colonists with bodies made of solid light who belong to an intergalactic empire ruled by elitists. I think you two are great, but I'm still praying to God I just dropped acid and went into a coma. All of this is just unreal and frightening. Even if I do get back to Earth, this whole thing… it's gonna leave a mark."

Amethyst developed a really guilty look on her face. She walked up to Greg and placed a hand on Greg's leg. "Listen, man... I'm... I'm so sorry for abducting you."

Greg smiled down at the little Gem. "It's fine, Amethyst. Don't worry about it."

"You chased her to the Collection Pod because she stole something from you, right?" Amber asked.

"Yeah, my guitar." Greg replied.

A holo-screen projected from Amber's glasses. The screen displayed a long list of items from Earth. Amber scrolled through the list until she landed on Greg's guitar. She tapped the image and it expanded for Greg to see. "Is this it?"

"That's it, yeah!" Greg exclaimed.

Amber double-tapped the image and the holo-screen vanished. A circular section of the floor suddenly illuminated and Greg's guitar fazed up out of the floor. Amber grabbed the guitar's neck and held it up. "Is this your guitar?"

"My guitar!" Greg snatched it out of Amber's hand and hung the strap around his neck. After some tuning, he strummed a quick, festive tune on the guitar.

"Oooooooooo." Amber and Amethyst gave Greg a round of applause.

Greg slung the guitar on his back. In his state of joy, he rushed Amber and wrapped his arms around her in a big, bear hug. "Thank you, Amber!"

Amber was startled by the sudden physical contact. "I've… never actually been hugged before." Amber returned the hug. "It's nice… Being hugged is nice."

Amethyst turned her head away from the display.

Greg released Amber with an excited smile. "Okay. Let's go see Pink Diamond."

"Greg, this here is a warp pad." Amber gestured to the crystal platform in front of them. "This is a common method of transportation for Gems."

"So we stand on it and, what, we get beamed to where we wanna go 'Star Trek' style?" Greg asked.

"I am unfamiliar with this 'Star Trek' you speak of, although we'll have to have a talk about it later for documentary purposes. But, yes. We stand on the warp pad and then we get sent up into warp space." Amber replied. "We travel through warp space to another warp pad of our choosing. We've never sent an organic through the warp space before, but I'm sure you'll be fine."

"Now, when you say 'sure', what exactly do you-"

"Ah, just get on the pad, scaredy-human." Amethyst picked Greg up with strength you wouldn't think a small fry like her would have and tossed him onto the pad. Amethyst and Amber stepped onto the pad as Greg picked himself up.

"You ready, Greg?" Amber asked.

"Not at all, no." he replied. "But, go for it."

"And awaaaaaaay we go!"

The group of three disappeared in a beam of bright light that shot up from the pad. Greg suddenly found himself in a cylindrical shaft of light. His surroundings made it look like he was moving up, but he felt himself go weightless. Greg yelped as he floated off of his feet into the air. He did a full somersault before Amber grabbed him and pulled him back down.

"Careful, human." she warned. "Warp Space is the last place an organic anything would want to wind up in."

"How come he gets to float?" Amethyst complained. "I wanna float!"

"Well, a Gem's body automatically adapts to any level of gravity," said Amber. "A human is adapted for his own planet's gravity."

"How long does this usually last?" Greg asked while he floated in the air. Amber's grip was the only thing keeping him where he was.

The tunnel of light suddenly vanished and Greg fell to the ground with a painful thud.

"Should be ending right about now." said Amber. Amethyst got a good chuckle out of that.

Greg picked himself up off the floor. He was standing on a warp pad on a large balcony overlooking Homeworld. Although, from what Amber had shown him, this looked like rural Homeworld, but that was giving the term 'rural' a hell of a stretch. There were less crazy space buildings in this neck of Homeworld, and the bustling activity was less hectic than the hologram planet had shown.

Greg looked around. He was standing on the balcony of some kind of pink palace. Everything was pink. Some things were a different shade of pink than other things, but it was all pink. The entrance into the palace was flanked by a pair of green bushes covered with pretty, red flowers Greg had never seen before.

"Now, Greg. Pink Diamond isn't really all that much of an authoritarian, but still you need to mind your manners in front of her." Amber instructed. Her tone had become surprisingly serious. "That's my Diamond you're going to address, so I'd appreciate it if you'd be on your best behavior."

Greg brought his hands up defensively. "Hey, I might be a bit of a hippie, but I'm no rudeboy."

"So they can speak, you just can't understand them."

Greg, Amethyst and Amber turned towards the balcony entrance to see three Gems walking towards them. The one in the middle was the one who had spoken. She was about Greg's height, and as thin as Amber. She had the build and grace of a professional ballerina, and her attire was a nice contribution to that description. Her skirt with the silk veil was pink, the torso of the dress was pink and yellow, and her shoulder pieces and slippers were blue. Her skin was pale and her hair was salmon pink and set in an elfish, pointed style. Her nose was a pointed cone, her eyes were turquoise and her pale, smooth, rounded gem was embedded in her forehead.

She was flanked by a pair of tall, thick-bodied Gems with pink hair and pinkish skin similar in hue to Greg's. One had her gem on the back of her hand, and the other one had her gem on the back of her neck. They reminded Greg of 9SW and 7YK back at the Salvage Station; tall and strong soldiers, wearing a two piece uniform similar to the Amethysts' uniforms. But these ones seemed less brutish and more gentle. Greg thought they were pretty, with their fair skin, plump red lips, and massive, cotton candy-like hair. One of them had straight, smooth hair and the other had curlier hair. But they stood at attention like Marines, and they didn't really seem up for a date.

"Hello, Pearl!" Amber said enthusiastically.

"Hey, Pearl!" Amethyst shouted.

The thin Gem they had called Pearl smiled. She stood as straight as the pink Gems did. "Hello, Amber. Hello, Amethyst. How is the Salvage Station running?"

"Oh, ever so efficiently with my supervision." Amber replied.

"Really? Then how did a human get into your station?" Pearl asked with a smug but friendly smile.

"Yeah, that was me." said Amethyst. "I stole his stuff, he chased me to my Collection Pod, and he almost died on the way to the station."

"Well, that sounds about right." Pearl said. "You are far too reckless to be trusted with such delicate work."

"Ah, go get cracked, you uptight rock." said Amethyst, earning a pointed glare from Pearl. "He survived, didn't he?" Amethyst pointed at Greg. "He's healthy as a human."

Greg smiled and waved awkwardly. "Uh, hi. My name is Greg. Nice to meet you."

The big, pink Gems both looked surprised, and Pearl raised an eyebrow. "Well, well. So they remembered how to talk correctly."

"Excuse me?" Greg asked.

"Don't mind her, Greg." said Amethyst. "She somehow finds it in her to act like she's above everyone else even though she's just a Pearl."

"I am Pink Diamond's Pearl, and I do my duty with precision and diligence!" Pearl snapped. It sounded like Amethyst had struck a nerve. "Perhaps you could learn a thing or two from me."

"Not likely." said Amethyst.

"Uh, can I talk to Pink Diamond now?" Greg asked, hoping to avert a potential fight.

"Yes, perhaps we should move this along." Pearl replied. "We'd need to confiscate your weapon before we allow you to enter Pink Diamond's quarters."

"What weapon?" Greg asked in confusion.

"The one hanging on your back." said Pearl. "The wooden cudgel. If you would kindly hand it over to one the Rose Quartzes," she gestured to the pink Gems flanking her.

"My guitar? This is an instrument of music, not warfare." Greg swung the guitar from his back to his front. The Rose Quartzes took a threatening step forward, but their angry faces turned into faces of awe as Greg played a quick song on his guitar. Once the song was done, the pink Gems clapped their hands. Greg gave a humble bow.

"Oh, fine. You can keep the instrument." Pearl said begrudgingly. "Just please don't break into a song at a moment's notice."

"I make no promises." Greg said.

Pearl narrowed her eyes at Greg.

"But, for the sake of things, I'll be quiet."

"Good." Pearl turned around and began walking into the palace. "Come along."

Greg, Amber and Amethyst followed Pearl and the Rose Quartzes through the palace. Greg thought the place looked like a Persian palace that had been painted pink and decorated with a bunch of exotic plant life that looked like they came all across the galaxy. Greg felt like he was walking through Jumanji, except for all of the pink. All in all, the place was nice. Like a temple dedicated to the spirits of nature. Greg spotted several varieties of Gems as his group walked through the palace. They hung around the plants and the fountains and chatted like they were at a cafe. A few Gems were tending to the plants. Greg thought he even saw a pair of Gems flirting with each other. Pink Diamond's Palace had a real laid-back vibe. Greg had to admit he felt right at home here. None of the Gems he passed really gave him much attention, aside from a few curious head turns.

Pearl and the Rose Quartzes led Greg, Amber and Amethyst to a tall, pink double door, guarded by another pair of Rose Quartzes, who stood up straight with their arms crossed like a pair of bouncers. "I have brought the human, at our Diamond's request." said Pearl.

Greg raised his hand in greeting. "Hello."

The Rose Quartz guards blinked. "That's a human?" one of them asked.

"Man, it really has been a long time since we've been to Earth." the other one commented.

"You've been to Earth before?" Greg asked.

"Will you please just let us in?" Pearl asked impatiently. "I do not like to keep my Diamond waiting."

The Rose Quartzes guarding the door both reached back and placed a hand on the massive door. The double doors lit up where they touched it, and then they slid open like the doors to a cathedral.

"Thank you." Pearl said before she led the group through the doors. Greg heard one of the guards mutter 'I liked her old one better.' before the door closed on them.

The group was now in what appeared to be the throne room. A pair of water fountains stood at the groups left and right, and there was more alien but beautiful plant life in this room. Topiaries of pink bushes shaped like diamonds and exotic flowers both big and small neatly arranged around the throne room. The scent of the flowers was overwhelmingly delightful and the sound of the water fountains made Greg want to take a nap.

Instead of a throne, there was a giant pink, expensive-looking settee. Lounging on her side on the settee, was the biggest woman Greg had ever seen. She was a giantess. As tall as a giraffe, but she had a slender, fit body. She wore a pink… we'll call it a dress. The outfit had shoulder pieces like Pearl's did, but they were bubblegum pink. A pair of hot pink, elbow length gloves covered her hands and forearms. Her pink chest and torso piece revealed the section of her naval where her gem was. A sparkling, pink stone cut in a pyramid shape with the tip pointing to her head. Her thigh pieces were hot pink with tiny silk veils attached at the hip. Her skin tight leggings were snow white, and so were the balls that levitated above her pink slippers. Her light pink hair looked like a huge wad of cotton candy and her skin was a slightly darker shade of pink the Rose Quartzes were. Her intense, pink, diamond eyes glinted with joy and kindness.

Greg was at a loss for words. He thought this pink giantess was stunningly beautiful. Like Aphrodite and Persephone combined. He couldn't help but stare, and he felt his mouth go dry.

Surrounding the giantess were three Gems. The first one looked like if Brock Samson from Venture Bros had a sex change. She was big, scary, beefed up, and looked ready to take on an army. She looked more like the Amethysts back on the Salvage Station than the Rose Quartzes did, except far more intimidating. Her long, wild hair was the color of cinnamon butter and her skin was orange, with blotches of lava red that covered face and her arms like war paint. Her Gem outfit, like all the others like her, had a pink diamond sigil on its chest. Her bright, golden eyes scanned for any potential threat, and where her nose should have been, there was a rhombus shaped, red-orange gem.

The second Gem looked like she came straight out of one of Walt Disney's original sketches for a Valentine's Day card. Her hot pink hair was set in a pair of heart shapes that made her look like she had Minnie Mouse ears. Her outfit was like a schoolgirl's, with pink, rounded shoulders, snow white middle, and a hot pink bottom with white leggings and big, pink shoes. She was about the size of a short, high school freshman, and her limbs were long and noodley. Her big toothy smile and her pie-cut eyes gave her a cutesy, cartoony look. Her pink gem was in the shape of a heart and was embedded in the area where the heart would be. The cute, pink Gem bounced on her heels and gripped her pink gloved hands tightly, like she was fighting the urge to run up and hug everyone.

The third Gem was also a lot less scary-looking than the first. She kinda looked like a young princess to Greg. Actually, she looked like the mascot for a brand of mango-flavored tequila. Her large dress was like a sunset in colors, with rounded shoulder pieces and long gloves. Her skin was the color of paprika and her peach-colored hair hid her eyes from view. Her round, hot pink gem was embedded in the back of her right hand.

Pearl approached the pink giantess and gave a low bow. "My Diamond. I have brought the human to you as requested."

The group stepped away from Greg for Pink Diamond to see. He gulped as Pink Diamond's gaze settled on him. In a panic, Greg quickly debated on what to do. Should he bow? Should he address her as 'your highness' or 'your majesty'? or 'my diamond' like Pearl did? Greg got the feeling that everyone in the room was capable of killing him with little to no effort, so he needed to be careful not to say the wrong thing.

"Geez, you're big!"

Yeah, that, uh, that's probably the wrong thing to say in the given scenario…or any even remotely similar scenario.

Everyone around him looked at Greg like he had just lost his mind. Pearl looked like Greg had just slapped her grandma in front of her kids. The cartoony one and the princess-looking one just brought their hands up to their mouths and giggled. The burly, orange one stomped towards Greg looking like she was gonna pop his head off like a cherry stem.

"Settle down, everyone."

The big orange Gem stopped in her tracks. Pink Diamond sat up off her side and looked down at Greg. She looked and sounded more amused than insulted.

"Thank you for noticing my size, it's the first thing most Gems notice about me." Pink Diamond said in a joking manner.

Greg blushed in embarrassment. "I-I-I'm so sorry about that… your majesty."

"Oh, it's fine." Pink Diamond replied with a wave of her hand. "A little bit of humor here and there is actually pretty good for the team." Pink Diamond turned her attention to Amber and Amethyst. "Speaking of teams, how did the Salvage Station do this time, Amber? And did you have fun, Amethyst?"

"Heck ya, it was fun!" Amethyst shouted.

"It was another successful Collection!" Amber proudly stated. "You know, aside from accidentally kidnapping a human."

"It's not kidnapping if it's an accident," said Amethyst. "...Right?"

Pink Diamond laughed before returning her attention back to Greg. "So, you're the human who Amber told me about?"

Greg nodded.

"You know, you kinda look like a Quartz with that hair." Pink Diamond pointed out. "But, you're no fighter, are you?"

Greg shook his head.

"Amber said you're a musician. Is that true?"

Greg nodded.

"What's wrong, forgot how to talk all of a sudden?" Pink Diamond asked good-naturedly. "Come on. You don't have to be afraid. You are safe from harm within my palace." PD smiled sweetly. "Do you have a name?"

Greg let his heartbeat settle back down before answering. "Gregory Universe." he said with a showman's bow. "I…also go by Greg."

Pink Diamond's eyes sparkled. "Ooooooooo. Are you an important human?"

Greg stood back up from the bow and rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess that depends on your definition of important."

"So, no?"

"Yeah, no."

Pink Diamond chuckled. "Don't worry about it. Being important has its ups and downs, believe me." her face betrayed sorrow for a minute before returning to happy and kind. "Anyway. Let's refocus on why I have brought you here. Well… to be perfectly honest, Greg, I brought you here to be the bearer of bad news." Guilt clouded Pink Diamonds face. "I can't send you back to Earth."

Greg frowned. His eyes went wide with panic. "You… you can't?!"

"Not right now, no." Pink Diamond said. "I'm so sorry, but it's… this whole thing, with the other Diamonds. They don't want me anywhere near that planet. I would need to beg them to let me send just a single transport module, and that could take decades."

"If you're one of the Diamonds, don't you have a say in what you do and where you go?" Greg asked. He didn't care anymore if he sounded rude.

"You'd think so, wouldn't you?" Pink Diamond said bitterly. "But unfortunately, the other Diamonds don't really take me all that seriously. I'm sorry, but it's three Diamonds against one… It always has been."

"My Diamond, if I may." Pearl spoke up. "Don't you think you have more…pressing matters to attend to? It's just one human."

"One lost and scared human, yes." Pink Diamond said. "And I am going to help him get home. And if I can't do that, then I'm going to give him a home."

Greg looked down at the floor. "So… there's no guarantee I'll get back home, huh? I may very well die here?"

"On the bright side, that shouldn't take very long." Pearl added like it was an actual positive outlook. "You humans only live for about eighty years, right?"

"Plus, it won't be forever. In ten years, I can send you back in a Collection Pod." Amber reminded him.

"In the meantime," Pink Diamond stood up off of her settee. "I have an idea on where you can stay. I think you just might like it."

"You guys have like, a hotel or something?" Greg asked.

"Better. And I say that without having the slightest idea what a hotel is." Pink Diamond replied. "Now, if you'll-"

The doors opened and a red Quartz soldier hurried into the room. She looked frantic. "My Diamond! A unit of the Factory is being held up by a team of Yellow Diamond's Quartzes! It looks like it's gonna get ugly!"

"What?!" Pink Diamond shouted. "I told her to leave them alone! Why does she always..." PD grunted in frustration. "Thank you, Carnelian. You are relieved."

Carnelian did a weird salute with her hands. She held them at chest level and folded them back so her hands made a diamond shape. "Thank you, my Diamond!" she said before rushing back out the door.

Pink Diamond pinched her brow and sighed. "Jasper, will you please take care of it?"

"Yes, my Diamond." the big orange Gem replied. Her voice was deep and gravely. She shot Greg a disapproving glance as she marched out of the throne room.

"Is something wrong?" Greg asked.

"Oh, it's nothing you need to worry about." Pink Diamond said. "Now, about your accommodations." Pink Diamond headed for the door. "Amber, Amethyst, Spinel and Greg, with me."

"Oh, boy!" the cartoony looking one bounced up to Pink Diamond. "You need me for this one, my Diamond?!"

"That's right, Spinel." Pink Diamond replied.

"Yippee!" Spinel's legs curled into springs and she bounced right up onto Pink Diamond's shoulder.

Amethyst hopped onto Greg's back for a piggyback ride. "Hey, if Spinel's getting a free ride, then so am I."

"Hoo-hoo! I get to help make a suitable human habitat!" Amber shouted. "This is going to be so much fun!"

"My Diamond." said Pearl. "I really must object. We have more important projects to work on than the human's survival."

"Ah, don't mind me. What do I care if you're basically saying I can drop dead?" said Greg.

"See? Even the human agrees." Pearl added.

"Is sarcasm not a thing on this planet? Greg asked. "'Cause I feel like I should get that clarified."

"Let's go, everyone." Pink Diamond. "If I didn't call your name, do whatever until I return." Pink Diamond exited the throne room with Spinel on her shoulder. Greg carried Amethyst out of the throne in pursuit and Amber followed.

When the door closed, Pearl sighed in frustration. "That human is going to be nothing but trouble for us."

"I like the human." The curly haired Rose Quartz said. "It seems friendly."

"Right?" The one with smoothed out hair said. "I thought organic creatures were supposed to be gross and savage. This one seems really nice and kinda harmless."

"Oh, who asked you?" Pearl replied.

The princess-looking Gem finally spoke up. "I predict… a human will be brought to us, and Pearl won't like him!"

"...Thank you, Padparadscha."

When the warp session ended, Greg fell down onto pink pavement. "OW!"

Amber picked Greg up off the ground. "Practice makes perfect, human."

"I sure hope so." Greg muttered. His eyes went wide with wonder when he saw where he was. "Woah."

It looked like Greg was in some kind of park. In the center of the pink pavement was a beautifully crafted fountain that levitated above a small, diamond-shaped pool it filled from the top. The pool had a pink frame, but underneath the clear water was the symbol of the Great Diamond Authority. Further back, there was a large, pink dais. Two rows of pink pillars with diamond-shaped topiaries on top of them with a vine spiraling down them led from the warp pad to the dais. Everywhere else was flowers of various colors. Up above, the stars and planets of outer space could be seen. The park was protected by a greenhouse-like, glass barrier.

"You like it?" Pink Diamond asked. "Welcome to my garden." Her body began to glow. Spinel hopped off of her shoulder as Pink Diamond shrunk down to the size of one of her Rose Quartzes.

"You can shrink?" Greg asked.

"I can do lots of neat stuff." Pink Diamond snorted with laughter. "But, yeah. I like to shrink down sometimes. Makes me feel like a regular Gem."

"Yeah, yeah. She can shrink. Now check this out!" Amber pulled out a pink disk and set it on the pavement. It expanded into the size of a picnic table. "This little gizmo is connected directly to the Salvage Station's item log. Using the warp space, we can summon any item we've collected over the past couple of centuries in an instant!" Amber then pulled out something that looked like a pink iPad. She tapped the device's screen a few times. "To demonstrate, I am going to summon an item we have collected at random, and it will appear on this pad!"

Amber gave the device one last tap… but nothing happened.

Amber frowned at the device. She repeatedly tapped the screen again until she decided to give up. "Okay, it might need a little more calibration, but you get the idea. The purpose of this is to give you unlimited access to our inventory of collected Earth items. To help you feel more at home, and for you to educate me on each and every one of their purposes and functions." Amber started tapping away at the screen again. "If I could just. Figure. Out. The. Proper. Calibration. Frequency."

"Spinel. Amethyst. Stay with Amber in case she needs help." Pink Diamond instructed. "Greg. walk with me please."

Pink Diamond started down the pavement and Greg followed behind her.

As Spinel and Amethyst shouted suggestions at Amber on how to get the device working, Greg followed Pink Diamond to the tall dais.

"Are you scared I'll bite?" Pink Diamond teased. "Come up and walk beside me."

"Oh. Uh, okay." Greg walked up to the Diamond's side.

"You don't have to be afraid of me." Pink Diamond told him. "The other Diamonds may not care about organic life, but I care about all life."

"That's pretty cool of you." said Greg.

Pink Diamond blinked at him. "Is 'cool' good?"

"It's really good." Greg replied.

Pink Diamond chuckled. "You know, I think I'm going to like having you around. Being a Diamond, being such an important Gem, it really weighs down on you." PD sighed. "Even my closest Gems act like they have to work so hard to impress me. It will be nice having someone around who's so unimportant, my title means nothing to them." Pink Diamond flushed with embarrassment. "Uh… no offense."

Greg shrugged. "None taken. But, can I ask you something?"

"I don't see what's stopping you."

"Don't you enjoy being one of the most important Gems in your homeworld?" Greg asked. "I've been a nobody nearly my whole life, and I've been working hard to try to turn myself into somebody."

"You can do that?" Pink Diamond asked in bewilderment. "You can just change your purpose?"

"Well, I mean. If it were only so simple. But, yeah. With enough hard work, you can choose your own occupation."

"If that's the case, then wouldn't you want a simpler occupation?" Pink Diamond asked. "No one telling you what to do and how to do it, no one telling you what you should and shouldn't do."

"Well, I never wanted to be king of the world, but I just want people to know my name." Greg said. "I want my name to mean something. Like yours does."

"Mmm." Pink Diamond looked up into space. "I'm the least important of the four most important Gems. My name might mean something to Homeworld, but it's not like I'm the greatest of the Diamonds. That title goes to White."

"From what I can tell, that title should go to you." said Greg.

Pink Diamond blushed and smiled at Greg. "Thank you. That's… really kind of you to say."

Pink Diamond and Greg walked up to the top of the dais. Pink Diamond sat down cross legged and Greg followed suit.

"How is Earth, by the way?" Pink Diamond. "It's been so long since I was able to actually step foot on that planet."

Greg shrugged. "I like to think Earth is doing pretty good. There's a lot wrong with the way things are. The way we are, as a species. But, there's a lot that's good about Earth too. We're not perfect, but we're not terrible. Far from it. Earth, in its entirety… is an alright place."

Pink stared at Greg in awe at his description of Earth. "...It sounds like the greatest planet in the universe."

Greg was taken back by Pink Diamond's reply. "Really?"

Pink Diamond nodded.

"Huh." said Greg.

"Would you… would you play a song for me?" Pink Diamond asked. She sounded like she was a bit embarrassed to ask.

"Oh! Sure!" Greg switched his guitar from his back to his front.

"Does that thing play music?" Pink Diamond asked.

"Well, I play the music." Greg demonstrated by running his fingers across the sound hole, making the strings sing out in harmony. "The guitar just makes the sound."

Pink Diamond's eyes sparkled. "Wow."

"Hey, I got a crazy idea." said Greg. "How about you sing while I play?"

"You want me to sing for you?" Pink Diamond asked. She made it sound like it was a really crazy idea.

"I want you to sing with me." Greg corrected. "A quick duet. Me and you."

"Oh… well, okay." Pink Diamond cleared her throat. "I haven't actually sang in a while. I don't know if I still have it in me."

"Don't think about it." Greg told her. "Don't think about how badly you'll do or even how good you'll do. Just sing."

Greg began playing a song on his guitar. The song was strong but gentle. Pink Diamond took a deep breath before singing.

You spend so long in the dead of space.

You rule among a non-organic race.

You find solace among the bioforms.

You find joy avoiding the political storms.

All I ever wanted was to have my voice be heard.

So why is an eye roll met with my every word?

I am a Diamond of the Gem Empire,

who would rather just be a sapphire.

My throne is where I am meant to sit,

but why do I have to be chained to it?

I just want the others to take me seriously.

I sometimes wonder if they even love me.

I have been around for thousands of years.

Had thousands of laughs, shed thousands of tears.

They call my ideas and values ignorance.

They consider my consideration weakness.

I just want them to stop telling me how to be me.

All I've ever wanted was to know how it feels to be free.

Pink Diamond decided to end the song. She looked over at Greg like she couldn't believe she had just unloaded all of that on him through song. Her face was a deeper shade of pink than usual and she stared wide-eyed and unblinking at the human. Greg had stopped his part of the song and stared back at the Diamond in astoundment.

"That was… that was deep." Greg remarked.

Pink Diamond looked down at the ground in sad embarrassment. "You have me keeping you safe, but that's not really saying a lot. The other Diamonds think I'm a joke, and I think they might be right. The things I've done? The mistakes I've made? I know I told you not to be afraid of me. But if you knew about what I've done," she looked Greg in the eyes. "...you would be."

Greg blinked at Pink Diamond. He gave it some thought before replying. "Well, then don't tell me about it. I don't want to know."

Pink Diamond tilted her head in confusion.

"You might not think much of yourself, but I think you're amazing." said Greg. "What's in your past is in your past. I don't care about it one bit. And maybe, just maybe… we could be friends."

Pink Diamond's eyes widened in shock. "I… I-"

A giant holo-screen big enough to be seen clearly from the top of the dais suddenly appeared above the fountain completely without warning. The screen displayed the image of the blue diamond sigil.

"Oh, stars!" Pink Diamond immediately stood up and grew back to her normal size. "Stay behind me! Hide behind my foot!" she ordered Greg.

"What? What's going-"

"Just do as I say!" Pink fluffed her hair as Greg hid behind her feet. She waved her hand in front of her like a Jedi and the image of the blue diamond was replaced by the image of the Blue Diamond. She was sitting on a throne with the straight, regal posture of a queen. Blue Diamond looked a little like Pink Diamond, with her full lips and diamond eyes. But as her name implied, Blue Diamond had ocean-blue skin and her long, candlestick-shaped cloak was midnight blue. Her long hair was white, tinted blue, and hung over her chest at an impossible hoop. Her gem was located on her chest, within her hair hoop, and was sort of tear-shaped. Her cyan eyes and narrow face gave her a slightly depressed looked. But when she saw Pink Diamond, her eyes lit up and she smiled.

"Hello, Pink. How are things?" Blue Diamond asked.

"Hey, Blue." Pink Diamond replied. The way they spoke to each other made it sound like Pink was getting a call from her mother or her protective big sister.

"I'm just contacting you to let you know we are having another Meeting of the Diamonds."

"Right now?"

"Yes, Pink. Right now." Blue Diamond said. "I know you like to have fun in your little garden, but our meetings are important."

"Oh, yeah. What's more important than having a meeting about the thing we've been doing for eons in a way that has barely changed over the course of our existence?"

"Oh, spare me the sarcasm, Pink. We discuss important matters and you know it." Blue Diamond chided. "Now, if you would kindly hurry over to-" Blue Diamond's eyes widened. "What is that?"

Pink Diamond looked down and saw Greg quickly hide his head back behind her leg. She looked back up at Blue Diamond with panic in her eyes. "Nothing! No one! Nowhere!"

Blue Diamond's tired expression suggested she wasn't buying it. "Let me see it, Pink."

Pink sighed. She stepped aside, revealing the frightened Greg.

Blue Diamond narrowed her eyes in confusion. "Is that a new brand of Quartz? I thought you liked your Rose Quartzes? You made them yourself."

"Uh, hello." Greg greeted Blue Diamond nervously. "My name is Greg. I'm a human."

Blue Diamond's eyes shot wide open. "A human?! Why do you have a human?!" she demanded angrily.

"I didn't go to Earth, if that's what you're thinking." Pink quickly said. "He got into one of my Collection Pods and wound up in my Salvage Station."

"He survived the journey?" Blue asked incredulously. "Those humans always were difficult to kill off."

"I beg your pardon?" Greg asked.

"Pink, it's bad enough when you decide to keep a pet. But a human? You know that's not going to sit well with Yellow and White. It doesn't even sit well with me."

"Yes, I know, Blue." said Pink. "Look, can we talk about this at the meeting?"

"...Very well." Blue said. "Although, you really should just toss that thing into space."

Greg gulped.

"Hurry to the meeting chamber, Pink. You know how much Yellow hates it when you're late." Blue said before ending the transmission.

"...You think she liked me?" Greg asked.

"I gotta go." Pink said. "Amber, Amethyst and Spinel will keep you company while you stay here. Well, Amethyst and Spinel are here to keep you company. Amber is here to keep you alive."

"...Okay." Greg replied.

Pink Diamond picked Greg up and hurried down the dais. "Now some ground rules for when I'm not around. Don't ever leave the garden. But if you do, don't go without a guide. But if you do, just pretend you're a Quartz soldier, don't talk or interact with anyone, and try to find your way back to this garden. Basically what I'm trying to say is don't leave the garden. You've been lucky enough to encounter the more organic-friendly Gems of Homeworld, but we're few in number and everyone else will probably kill you and toss you into a nearby star with the rest of the garbage we incinerate."

"...Okay."

"Perfect." Pink Diamond set Greg back down when they reached the warp pad. "I'll be back to check on you soon."

"Thank you, Pink Diamond." Greg smiled. "For everything."

"Oh, it's been my pleasure." Pink replied. She leaned down and brought her hand up to her mouth to whisper. "And, when no one is around, and I mean no one, you can just call me Pink."

Greg's heart skipped a beat. "O-okay… Pink."

Pink smiled at Greg before stepping onto the warp pad. "Bye, Amber! Bye Amethyst! Bye, Spinel! Be good while I'm gone!"

"Bye, Pink!" the three of them shouted as they worked on the teleportation pad. Greg noticed that they all called her 'Pink' as well, like they knew it was safe to.

Pink Diamond gave Greg one more smile before she disappeared in a beam of light.

"Greg! I think I got it!" Amber shouted. She pressed a few more buttons on her iPad-looking thing and in a beam of light, a toaster appeared on the Salvage Station Pad. "AHHHHHH! IT WORKS!"

"Ah, cool! Let me see!" Greg headed towards the Gems.

But he froze when something in the back of his head stirred, like the gears in his mind were spinning. A pink giantess. Beings made of light. Magic space aliens.

'Why does all of this sound familiar?' Greg thought to himself. The feeling of familiarity had hit him out of nowhere.

"Greg! You gonna try this out or what?!" Amethyst shouted.

Spinel picked up the toaster. "More stuff! More stuff!"

Greg chuckled to himself. "Eh, it's probably not important." he said to himself before walking over to join his new friends.

You might be curious of the roles each Gem is going to play in my fanfic. But if there's one thing I hate as a reader and writer, it's spoilers. So, you will receive none from me.

Thank you for reading, and remember to favorite and follow for future updates.

'Hush, Hush, Hush, Here Comes the Bogey Man.' Song by Henry Hall His Orchestra. The other song was written by me.