Lee was reeling in from a cast when he heard footsteps coming up behind him on the dock. He smiled to himself, thinking it was Emily, but when he turned to look, he found Ethan instead.
For a moment, neither of them said anything to each other, but Ethan looked very unimpressed.
"Stay away from her," he said finally.
"No one tells me what to do," Lee replied.
"I just did."
Lee chuckled, finishing reeling in and then setting the rod down on the dock to lean against the boathouse. He faced Ethan square on next.
"She's made it very clear that she's not interested in you, so why do you think I'd give a toss about what you want me to do when it comes to her?" he asked.
"Because I've known her longer, and I know that you'll just break her heart and leave her to pick up the pieces. She doesn't deserve that, and Maya sure as hell doesn't deserve that," Ethan said. "Maybe she doesn't love me back, but I love her and Maya enough to keep them from any pain."
"You don't love her," Lee said, scanning his face. "You're just pissed that she is showing interest in someone else."
"Don't flatter yourself," Ethan warned. "She isn't interested in you. If anything, she's just interested in what you can give her to keep her going for a while until she finds someone else. Trust me. I know firsthand."
Lee's hand twitched. It took all he had not to throw a punch at this idiot, but he knew he had no grounds and didn't want an assault charge thrown at him. He knew that's what Ethan was hoping for.
"Mind your own business," he said eventually.
"You and your buddies are involved in something that's no good," Ethan went on without missing a beat. "I'll find out what, and then I'm gonna tell her."
"You won't find anything."
"That's what you think," Ethan snorted, turning to walk away. Lee watched him go, and he did his best to even his breathing. It was just a scare tactic, that was all. He thought he could get Lee to back off, but that wasn't happening.
Not a chance.
...
Emily woke up from her dream and found Maya sleeping next to her. She felt bad for not noticing her daughter crawl in next to her in the night, but she had been so exhausted.
She reached to gently shift Maya's hair, watching her daughter sleep. Sometimes, she wished her daughter had a normal life.
She heard someone come inside downstairs and voices muttering back and forth. She stiffened when she heard Lee's name come up. She sat up slowly, straining to hear more, but she couldn't.
"Hi, Mummy," Maya said, waking up now and looking at her.
"Hi, baby."
"I had a bad dream, so I came to sleep with you."
"That's okay."
"Are we gonna see Lee and Louis today?" she asked hopefully. Emily smiled and reached to tuck Maya's hair behind her ear, looking at the sleeve of Lee's hoodie as she did so.
"I think that's alright," she agreed.
"Can I tell you a secret?" Maya asked,
"You can always tell me anything," Emily promised. Maya smiled and suddenly looked shy. "What is it, love?"
"When I let the fireflies go, I made a wish that Lee could be my dad someday."
"Did you?" Emily asked, feeling her heart twist. It was incredibly sweet, but at the same time, it was terrifying. When they parted ways with Lee (and she knew that was coming), Maya was going to be devastated. Emily was going to be affected by it, too, despite her best efforts to not grow attached to him.
"I don't know if it would work because I don't know if firefly wishes actually come true, but I felt like it was the right thing to do," Maya finished thoughtfully.
"Well, it's a very nice wish," Emily said, smoothing her hand over Maya's head now.
"You could help make it come true," Maya said earnestly.
"How so?"
"Ask him to marry you!"
Emily couldn't help it. She burst out laughing and then tried to stop before she hurt her daughter's feelings.
"Oh, Maya," she said. "I'm sorry. I just...no, I can't do that."
"Why not? Amy said her mom asked her dad to marry her!"
"Yes, but she loved him, right? I don't love Lee," Emily explained. "He's my friend."
"So you love him a little bit because we love our friends," Maya pointed out. Emily mentally cursed having such an intelligent child. It made these moments trickier.
"I love him as a friend. That's all," Emily said clearly. "It's not a romantic love, okay?"
"Okay." Maya looked so disappointed, and it reaffirmed Emily's thoughts on not having a whim with someone even though she desperately wanted to.
"Why don't you get dressed and come down for breakfast?" Emily suggested, wanting to change the subject.
"Okay."
She watched Maya climb out of bed and pad out of the room and down the hall to the bathroom. She sank onto her back on the pillows again for a brief moment, breathing in Lee's scent from his hoodie. She knew he'd left it with her on purpose for this exact reason right here. She just wasn't going to tell him it was working, that it was making her feel so damn conflicted inside.
...
Lee had completed his daily ritual of stubbing his toes on the picnic table as he rounded the corner from his room. He was surprised they even still hurt afterwards since it happened so often.
"Gunner and I are taking Louis and Maya fishing," Toll said when he saw him. Lee wondered why he bothered to stay at the other cottage at all since he spent most of his time here.
"Alright."
"Maya said her mom is alone with Ethan all day," Toll went on casually. Lee paused, doing his best not to show this was bothering him.
"Uh huh," he eventually said.
"Maybe you wanna do something about that?" Toll finished. Lee turned to look at him. Gunner was purposely not looking his way and was instead enraptured with the magnetic flowers on the chest between the chair and the couch.
"Like what?" Lee asked.
"Just saying," Toll said. Lee said nothing else as Toll nudged Gunner, and they stood up to leave together.
"See you later," Gunner said finally, giving Lee a nod. Lee still said nothing. Then they were gone, and he was picturing Emily over there alone with Ethan.
He didn't like it at all.
...
"You're a sly dog," Gunner commented to Toll as they walked down to the boathouse. They could hear Louis coming and knew they didn't have much time.
"Why's that?"
"You didn't mention the fact that Maya came over here and asked you to try and get her mom and Lee alone today."
"Why the hell would I do that?" Toll asked.
"He'll find out."
"Too bad. They're good for each other. That's plain as day to me," Toll reasoned.
"Yea, it's pretty obvious to me too, and I haven't seen them interact much," Gunner agreed.
"I'm down with helping Maya snag Lee for a father. He loves that kid."
"He does."
"Uncle Gunner!" Louis called, on the dock now. "I have a red mepps!"
"Atta boy," Gunner praised, high fiving him as he passed. Toll helped him get into the boat. Emily was there not long after, dropping Maya off.
"You listen to what they say, got it?" Emily asked her.
"Yes, Mum."
"Have fun."
"I will." Maya kissed Emily's cheek, and then she reached for Toll's hand so he could help her into the boat too. Toll knew that Emily trusted them because she was letting two men take her daughter and a boy out fishing. He would honor that trust.
"We'll just be across the lake," Toll said to her now. "Not far at all."
"Okay," Emily said, giving them a look that said if anything went wrong and Maya got hurt, they'd both be put deep into the ground.
"Maybe we can find that big fish again?" Louis asked as Toll started backing the boat out.
"Maybe."
Gunner resisted commenting, but he couldn't stop himself from laughing. It was still so funny to remember the look on Toll's face when he lost the fish.
"Maybe I'll be good luck!" Maya exclaimed.
"That's what I'm talking about," Toll commented, reaching to ruffle her hair. Gunner leaned back in his seat, getting Louis's rod ready. He'd never had kids, and most of them annoyed him like crazy, but these two...well, they touched his heart and made him regret not trying to have a family. He considered Louis his family anyway, and he hoped one day Maya would be too.
They just had to count on Lee's inability to let sleeping dogs lie.
...
Emily was avoiding Ethan as best as she could. Fred and Serena had taken off for the day, claiming they needed the alone time. Emily had felt uneasy about it, but she didn't say anything. She had barely any time with Serena lately, and it worried her. Serena had been wearing pants, and it was plus 30 degrees Celsius and rising with the humidity. Obviously, she was hiding something on her legs.
"Just you and me," Ethan said now, smiling at her.
"I thought you had to go back for work?" she asked. "Why are you still here?"
"I shuffled things around, and I can stay longer," he answered with a shrug.
"I hope you don't think we're getting together because we're sharing a cottage all summer," Emily warned.
"I wouldn't want to get in the way of you shagging the military boy next door," Ethan shot back.
"Ethan," Emily said, exasperated.
"You're not denying it!"
"I'm not doing anything!" she burst out back at him. "Maya is spending time with Louis, and I go to make sure everything is all good. That's it!"
"Please," Ethan snorted. "You slept with his hoodie for crying out loud."
"How the hell do you know that?" she demanded. He watched her sleep?! This was getting to a whole new level of creepy.
"You had it on when you came inside, and you were wearing it this morning before you got dressed," Ethan said. "I'm no genius, but that tells me you slept with it, not to mention your confirmation just now."
Emily had no response for that because yes, she had left it on until she got hot and got dressed. She liked wondering where he'd gotten it and why. It was just a plain, navy hoodie, but it had his smell on it and was soft from being worn a lot. She wondered if it was one of his favorites.
"Butt out," Emily warned.
"I talked to him this morning," Ethan went on. She froze. What?!
"Excuse me?" she asked.
"He's just trying to get into your pants, Em," Ethan said earnestly. "He doesn't care about you deeply at all. He's a guy doing what guy's do."
"Oh, like what you try to do with me?" she challenged.
"I care about you, Em. He doesn't," Ethan insisted.
"And why would I believe anything you ever say to me?" Emily demanded. She crossed her arms, waiting for an answer. He just shrugged.
"I care about you and Maya and just want you both to be safe. Something's off about him, and his intentions aren't good. Please just stay away from him."
"It's none of your business," Emily said firmly. "And you're the last person I'd ever trust." She backed away and went out the sliding door. She didn't make it two steps before he caught up to her, pulling her around to face him.
"I love you, Em," he said, grabbing her face and kissing her. She twisted away, shoving him off of her and feeling disgusted.
"That was inappropriate," she told him. "You know I don't feel the same way. Stop trying to force it!"
"I'm not forcing anything..." he tried.
"Sure looked like it to me," Lee's voice said, making them both turn to see him standing there. Why he was there, Emily had no idea. It suddenly made her feel very nauseous inside at the thought of him seeing Ethan kiss her and hearing Ethan tell her he loved her.
"Stay out of this," Ethan warned.
"Or what? You gonna beat me up?" Lee asked sarcastically. Emily put more space between her and Ethan. She saw his fists clench and felt slightly concerned.
"I can cause more pain to you than you'd ever know," Ethan said, his voice low and menacing.
"Oh, stop it," Emily snapped at him. "Stop acting like a child who wants the toy that some other kid is playing with even though you never wanted it in the first place!"
"Em," Ethan started.
"Leave me alone!" she shouted at him, going down the stairs quickly and walking away. She went past Lee without stopping. She didn't really care where she ended up. She just wanted to be away from Ethan.
As soon as she reached Barney's property, she slowed and rested her hands on her knees as she leaned forward. Her breath was a bit choppy and tight. She heard Lee come up behind her slowly.
"You okay?" he asked her.
"I'm fine," she answered tightly, straightening up and hugging herself.
"Ethan seems to be a bit of a trouble maker today," Lee commented casually. She exhaled long and slow, running a hand through her hair.
"What did he say to you?"
"Not important."
"But he was here, wasn't he? This morning? Is that why you came over?"
"I just wanted to make sure you were alright."
"I can handle myself, Lee," she said, feeling slightly annoyed that he wasn't telling her what was said. She was too tired to try and get it out of him right now. She'd try again later.
"I can see that," he agreed.
"I'm sorry," she said after a moment. "I'm just...rattled."
"I know."
"I'm also sorry you had to see...that," she said, gesturing her hand in the direction of her place.
"It's okay."
Emily did not feel like it was okay, but she let it go. Lee wasn't her boyfriend anyway. He shouldn't care if she was kissing someone else.
"Is he really not Maya's father?" Lee asked her, taking her off guard. She stared at him. Why would he even think that?
"He is not her father," Emily told him firmly. "Not in the slightest." She watched his face as he took it in and nodded slowly.
"Fred is bad news," Lee told her after a moment. "I hope you know that."
"You looked into him?" she asked, surprised. "How?"
"We have connections," Lee answered vaguely. "Em, it scares me to know you're in the same building as him all the time."
"I appreciate your concern, but I can look after myself. I always have," she said, jutting her chin out. How many times did she have to tell him this? He surprised her by moving in close and standing right in front of her. He took her chin in his fingers and made her look him square in the eye.
"It's okay to let someone help you too," he said softly. "You don't always have to do it alone."
She felt the burning behind her eyes and knew she was going to start crying if she didn't change the subject sooner than later.
"I would really like to be in a canoe right now," she said. He looked like he was going to say something, point out that she was deflecting, but he didn't.
"Alright."
She was glad he hadn't argued or demanded they continue this conversation. She didn't want to tell him that she wanted him to help her, that she was tired of doing it alone.
She just couldn't stop feeling afraid.
...
Barney was lost in a memory. He was standing frozen, his hand on the back door. He was looking out in the backyard where the bean garden used to be.
"Don't slam the door!" Aunt Moira called as Barney's cousin Violet went out the front, letting the door slam and shake the cottage rather violently. Barney shook his head, smiling as he walked out the back door.
"Uncle Lou?" he called, stepping out onto the stone path. Then he saw him. "UNCLE LOU!"
"Barney?"
"What?!" Barney exclaimed, jumping back from the door. He blinked and saw Caesar standing on the other side of the door looking at him.
"You all right?" Caesar asked, giving him a concerned look.
"Fine," Barney answered. He stepped back to let Caesar come inside. He felt slightly shaky inside. He'd wondered how long it would take before this memory struck him at full force. It seemed like today was the day.
"Tia is having some 'Me Time,' so I thought I'd come hang out with you," Caesar said, moving to sit at the kitchen table. "Unless you want to be alone too."
"No," Barney said, sinking down into the chair beside him. "It's fine. How are things with Tia?"
"Honestly? I think they're going really well," Caesar answered. "We've been talking a lot and spending time together. I think we're gonna be alright."
"I'm glad to hear that, man," Barney said, giving him a smile. He could tell his friend wanted to say something else, so he waited. Sure enough, Caesar inhaled slowly and fiddled with his fingers.
"Barns," he said.
"Yea?"
"I'm not sure how much longer I can keep doing this," he admitted.
"I know." Barney nodded. He figured it was coming sooner than later. His team was getting older, and after Billy, he wanted them to start having lives.
"You guys are my brothers," Caesar added. "I hate to break up the team, but I have to think about Tia...about Louis."
"I agree."
"Do you think you'll ever get out of the game?"
"I don't know," Barney sighed. "What is there for me to do in this world? This life is kind of all I know."
"You could retire here," Caesar suggested, smiling.
"Maybe."
"Billy would want you to live too."
"Yea," Barney said, not adding anymore to that thought. He felt Billy with him every single day.
"You wanna play some cards or something? Take your mind off of whatever's bothering you?" Caesar asked.
"Sure." Barney got up and located one of the many deck of cards his aunt had around. She loved to play Rumoli and Rummy. He ran his thumb over the worn deck of cards, thinking about the last time he'd played with her.
"You deal," Caesar said when he sat back down.
"I'm warning you," Barney chuckled. "I'll mop the floor with you."
"You can try," Caesar retorted. Both men laughed, and Barney started dealing the cards.
It was a helpful distraction from his pain, if even just for a moment.
...
Lee kept watching the curve of Emily's back as she paddled slowly, the muscles in her arms flexing with each stroke. They were behind the second island now, and the water was getting some ripples from the wind starting. The sky was clouded over, and Lee felt like a storm was coming. They hadn't said much to each other, and Lee wondered if she was thinking about what he'd said earlier. He was about to break the silence when she did first.
"I don't know anything about you," she said.
"What would you like to know?" he asked.
"Your real last name," she answered. Lee stopped paddling, and she did too, leaving them to drift. He hesitated, but he knew if he had a chance at getting her to change her mind about being with him, he had to be honest.
"Jenkins," he answered.
"Where's your family?"
"I don't have any."
"Seriously?" she asked, twisting to look at him. Her face showed surprise.
"My father died, and my mother disowned me, so yea, I don't have any," he said.
"What happened?"
"With my father or my mother?"
"Mother."
"I joined the SAS."
"She didn't approve?"
"Not in the slightest."
"I'm sorry," she said, still looking at him.
"It's okay," he replied, giving her a rueful smile. "We never really got on anyway."
"No siblings?"
"No."
"So what happened to your father?" she asked.
"Bar fight," Lee answered, remembering the night very clearly. His mother had answered the door to find two constables standing there looking grim-faced and sympathetic. Lee would never forget her scream as she hit her knees after they told her Lee's father was never coming home again.
"How old were you?" Emily questioned, bringing him back to the present.
"Seventeen," he answered. She nodded slowly and turned back to face the front. Lee started paddling again, still thinking about it. He'd channeled all of his grief and anger into becoming a soldier, and he'd never looked back. His mother had hated that he wanted to put himself at risk all the time, so she'd disowned him to spare herself the grief of losing him too. In her own words, she'd said she wanted to control the loss and not have it sprung upon her out of nowhere.
"So," Emily said after a bit, "you and I are more alike than we thought."
"How so?" Lee asked.
"We both lost our parents to violence. Except for your mum."
He hadn't even realized it, but she was right. She looked over her shoulder at him briefly before looking forward again.
"Did they ever find who did it?" he asked her.
"No," she answered. "They did not. You?"
"No." The man responsible had done it in the alleyway outside with no cameras or witnesses. The bartender couldn't describe the man well enough to get a drawing for facial recognition, and his DNA was not on any database. The man had disappeared into thin air.
"Doesn't that just make your blood boil?" Emily questioned, looking at him again. "Knowing that they're out there somewhere free after having gotten away with murder?"
"I've never told anyone this," Lee said after a moment. "But..." Would she think he was crazy? For some reason, he trusted her.
"But what?" she prompted.
"I used to pretend the people I was killing during my time in the SAS was that guy," Lee said slowly.
"Mm," she said, nodding. "That must have felt good."
"Not really," he said honestly."It just made me angrier that I couldn't save my father."
"You were 17," she reiterated. "What would you have done?"
"Definitely something," Lee answered, gripping his paddle tighter in his hands. He didn't want to talk about this anymore. She seemed to sense it and didn't ask any more questions. They paddled along until out of nowhere, they stopped moving after a bit of a lurch.
"What the...?" Emily asked, turning her head to look at the water around her. "What happened?"
"I don't know," Lee answered, trying to move them, but they were stuck solid. She twisted to look at him again.
"Are we stuck?" she asked.
"It seems that way."
"How?!"
"I have no idea," he said, starting to laugh a little. They were not close to shore, but he could see bottom. He leaned over slightly, making Emily grip the side of the canoe tightly and make a noise in her throat.
"I'm not gonna dump us out," he promised. He caught sight of a piece of a stump under the water to their left, so he surmised they were hung up on a second stump.
"Can you see anything?" she asked.
"We've been stumped," he answered.
"What?"
Lee gestured to the field of stumps along the shoreline. "Stumped."
"Oh ha, ha," Emily said, getting it. "So what do we do?"
"Good question," Lee commented, trying to rock them backwards. It wasn't working.
"Scream for help?" she questioned.
"No way. I've got this," Lee said.
"Sure you do."
"You're gonna have to move back here to get the weight off the front," Lee said. "That'll work."
"I'm not moving in a canoe," she argued.
"Emily..."
"I've never been dumped out of one, and I don't ever plan to," she insisted, talking over him.
"So what, we just sit here until someone finds us?" he asked.
"Yes."
He reached with his paddle and nudged her in the back with it. She lurched, startled, and then yelped as they moved suddenly to one side.
"Move your tushy," he ordered. She shot him a look. "Seriously, or I'll come up there and get you."
"Okay, okay," she said, growling in frustration. She carefully spun her legs around so that she was facing him, set her paddle down on the bottom off to the side, and then she lowered herself onto her back on the floor of the canoe and inched her way down to him slowly.
"A caterpillar could move faster than you," he teased.
"Have I mentioned I don't want to fall out of the damn canoe?" she asked.
"You won't," he promised.
"Somehow I think you're lying," she sighed. They started to lean backwards the closer she got to his end, and she made a bit of a squealing noise in her throat. She was trying to get under the yolk carefully.
"Come on," Lee laughed, reaching to grab her ankles and pull her towards him. She shrieked.
"What are you doing?!"
"Relax," he said as she sat up and gripped the sides to survive the rocking. "You're fine."
"If you dump me, I'll never speak to you again," she warned.
"Noted."
She moved so that she was as close to him as possible before he picked up his paddle up from across his legs. He refrained from laughing that she had her eyes squeezed shut. He tried to move them off the stump, but he discovered they still wouldn't budge.
"Well, Einstein?" she asked, still not looking.
"I miscalculated," he reasoned.
"Miscalculated what?"
"Where the stump was located under us," he answered.
"So where is it?"
"I think it's under me."
"So you need me to move back up."
"Yes."
"And you're going to come to the front with me."
"Yes."
"Awesome," Emily said, sounding not thrilled at all.
"We got this. Go on," he encouraged, and she started inching backwards to the front. She leaned back onto the floor and pulled herself under the yolk again before sitting up. Once she was back in her seat, Lee made his move.
"Oh God!" she yelped as they rocked again.
"Stop reacting," he instructed. "You're gonna make us dump if you keep that up."
"Okay, alright."
He carefully got to the front and kneeled right behind her. He noticed her knuckles were very white holding the sides.
"Hey," he said, resting a hand on her back. "It's alright."
"Just hurry up," she instructed through gritted teeth. He took her paddle from her and tried to move them. They still wouldn't budge.
"Son of a bitch," he said under his breath.
"So it's smack dab under the middle of the canoe, isn't it?" she asked.
"Apparently."
Obviously the way they'd drifted over it was how this was possible. He cursed himself for not paying attention better. He could only see one way out of this, and he knew it was not going to make her very happy. The wind was also starting to pick up more, and he didn't like the look of those clouds coming.
"Emily," he started.
"No," she cut him off. "Absolutely not!"
"I was going to say I'll just jump out and get it unstuck."
"And how are you getting back in?"
"I'll swim home."
"I can tow you," she offered. He started to laugh. "What? I wouldn't want you to drown on my watch."
"I wouldn't drown," he said. "But fine. I accept. You're lucky I prepared for this."
"You knew we'd get stuck and you'd have to swim?" she asked.
"Precisely," he answered, standing up very carefully in the middle of the canoe. He left his t-shirt on. It was only water. Thankfully, he'd worn his swim shorts. Swimming in jeans just would have really sucked, and he would know.
"Oh God," she moaned as they rocked a little. Then he jumped, and she screamed. He hit the water and tucked his knees up to avoid hitting anything. He surfaced and looked to see that he'd flipped Emily out of the canoe.
"Oh shit," he said, swimming towards it. "Emily!"
"You bastard!" she shouted, spewing water. "You complete, utter bastard!" He started laughing, and she splashed him mightily.
"It wasn't that bad was it?" he asked.
"It was terrible!" she exclaimed. "It was your intention this entire time, wasn't it?!"
"Noooo," he said exaggeratedly, and she moved to dunk him, but he dodged her. He swam to upright the canoe and fish out the things that had fallen out of it and put them back in. By this point, Emily had swum over and was hanging onto the same side as him.
"What now?" she asked.
"I thought you were never speaking to me again?"
"I will revisit that threat when we're not floating in the middle of the bloody lake," she retorted. Lee went to open his mouth when a rumble of thunder happened, and he heard her breath catch.
"Get to shore," he said, aiming the canoe that way. She helped him push as he pulled, and they got to the shallow area soon after and stood up. Lee could hear rain coming across the lake.
"Great," she said.
"See? You would have gotten wet anyway," he pointed out. She shot him a look, and he smirked back. They dragged the canoe halfway up the sandy beach and set it down. More thunder cracked above them.
"I should warn you that I don't do well in storms," Emily said, her voice wavering. "At all. Like, I'm a wreck."
"Alright. Well, I've been out in lots of them, so you're with an experienced storm survivor," Lee promised.
"Your word doesn't mean much right now," she said.
"I'm sorry for flipping you out of the canoe."
"Uh huh." She jumped and yelped when lightning flashed.
"Come on," he said, flipping the canoe over. "Get under." He looked up at the sky as the rain came down harder and she crawled underneath for shelter. He hoped the boys had brought Maya in from fishing. It was his last thought as he moved to crawl under the canoe himself.
...
Gunner and Toll came in just as the first roll of thunder happened. Maya was shaking, but Louis was trying to be brave. Toll carried up the bucket of fish (he had three and Gunner had one) to the shed, and Gunner corralled the kids to the cottage. Caesar was there with Barney.
"Dad!" Louis called, hurrying over to him and hugging him.
"I know," Caesar said. Storms were not Louis's thing.
"Where's Mum?" Maya asked, sounding very small.
"She and Lee went out in the canoe," Barney answered.
"She's not here?!"
"I'm afraid not."
Toll came inside as the rain started, and he gave himself a shake. He grabbed all what he needed to assist with cleaning the fish and then ran back out. Gunner rested his hand on Maya's head as she clung to his leg after another crack of thunder. There was something about this that made him feel almost fatherly, and it made him ache a little inside that he'd let all chances of having his own child get away from him.
"Lee's room is the darkest," Barney said, getting up. "You pull those curtains, and you won't even know where you are."
"Really?" Maya asked.
"Really," Barney confirmed. "Come on." He led the way, and Maya held Gunner's hand as they went. Barney flicked on the light and went to close the curtains while Maya climbed up on Lee's bed and pulled the knitted blanket over her head. Gunner sat down on the end of the bed, listening to the rain pounding on the roof.
"I want my Mummy," Maya whimpered from under the blanket.
"I know," Barney said. "She'll be here soon."
Gunner hoped so. He didn't envy anyone trapped out in that weather. They heard Toll come in exclaiming and muttering. Caesar brought Louis to join Maya.
"Let's make a fort," he said. "Come on. I'll make the entrance, and you can hide under the bed."
"Okay," Louis agreed. He slid off and crawled under the bed. Maya followed.
"You got this?" Barney asked, and Gunner nodded. He and Caesar could entertain two young kids during a storm.
No sweat.
...
Serena ducked into the store as the rain started to fall. Fred was in the car talking business, so she'd left him there and went off to do her own thing. She felt all sorts of emotions as she walked around looking at things. Her right leg was sore from where Fred had gripped her hard for too long last night. She knew Emily knew about it because she'd seen her friend give her pants a very obvious stare before Serena left with Fred for the day. She felt bad that Emily had no idea what it was like to be in her position.
"You alright, honey?" the saleswoman asked gently, and Serena turned to see the warm eyes and kind smile, and she almost burst into tears.
"Yea," she said, clearing her throat and forcing the tears back. "I'm just fine. Do you have this in my size?" She gestured to the shirt.
As the lady went off to find it, Serena forced herself to stop feeling emotional. She made herself think about Toll instead, and she wondered what he was doing right now. She wondered what it would be like to be with someone like him. She felt like he'd treat her like gold, and that was something she desperately craved.
"Here you are, love," the lady said, returning with the shirt. Serena took it from her gingerly.
"Thanks so much. You got a change room?"
"Just down there."
"Thank you."
Serena walked to it and shut herself inside of it. She looked in the mirror hanging on the wall and dared herself to say something about her situation. In the end, she turned her back to it and did her best not to think about how sad and lost her eyes looked.
...
Emily was incredibly uncomfortable. It was hard to get positioned right where some part of her body wasn't getting pinched by something. She was half twisted on her side and half on her stomach with her feet hooked around the seat of the canoe. It was awkward. On top of it all, she was doing her best not to freak out with the storm raging above her head. She was shivering, though. Despite the mugginess, she was cold from getting wet. The wind coming under and tugging at her wasn't helping.
"Hey," Lee said, making her look at him. He was on his stomach and holding the yolk with one hand to prevent the canoe from flying off with the wind. She could barely see him, though.
"What?"
"Tell me about your favorite place in the world."
"Oh, um..."
Another shot of thunder made her shriek involuntarily, and she felt his hand reach to grip hers tightly.
"What's it like there?" he asked, bringing her focus back to the question.
"Peaceful," she managed to say. "Lots of happy people. Good food."
"Where is it?" he asked when she paused.
"This little place in Italy," she answered. "You can see the water from your window. Everyone is so nice and friendly. You can, uh...ah!" Another round of thunder cut her off.
"Emily," Lee said. She felt his hand move to hold her face. "Eyes on me."
"Uh huh," she said, her teeth banging from fear and the cold. "I can't see you."
"I'm a little hurt that you can't recall what I look like."
"And you do?"
"Of course. Hair stuck to your face while wearing a stern expression but all the while your blue eyes are looking terrified cos we're stuck out here in this storm."
She felt herself flush a little. Then she mentally kicked herself. So he paid attention to her. So what? It made her picture him, though, and suddenly she could picture his face, the calmness and strength there.
"What's your favorite memory?" he asked next. She was grateful he changed the subject.
Meeting you, she thought, and she was taken aback. She cleared her throat, searching for a different answer because she knew she had one. Maya. Yes, her daughter. How the hell could she forget that?
"Meeting Maya for the first time," she answered. "She just stared at me, not making a sound. We just...connected, you know? She knew I was her mother, and I knew I was never going to let anything bad ever happen to her."
"She's very lucky to have you as her mum," Lee said. Emily nodded, trying to smile. It was hard.
"Tell me something about you that nobody knows," she instructed.
"You really want to know?"
"Yes. I'm not gonna be the only one doing the talking here," she said. He chuckled.
"Alright. Well, I hate snakes."
"That's it?" she asked.
"What? That's not profound enough for you?" he countered, laughing.
"Not really. I was hoping for something more deep. And besides, it's already been done."
"Been done?"
"Yea. There's only one Indiana Jones," she teased, and he scoffed.
"I see. Well, give me a minute to come up with something more original."
The wind tugged at the canoe hard, almost lifting it off, and she gave a shriek. Lee let go of her face and pulled it back down, and she moved to put her hand on top of his on the yolk to help.
"Have you thought of one yet?" she asked, her voice sounding desperate as more thunder sounded.
"Alright, alright," he said. "Okay. I...I cry in the middle of the night sometimes just because the pain of losing Billy is still really hard to deal with."
Emily wished she could see him properly to convey her empathy with her eyes. She hoped he knew she felt bad about what he was going through.
"That's profound," she said. "I...I appreciate you sharing. Is there anything I can do to help?"
"Not really."
"I'm sorry."
"It's really alright," he assured her. She didn't say anything, just tried to focus on his breathing instead of the storm outside. Before too long, he spoke again.
"Your turn."
"Same question?" she asked.
"Yes."
"Okay. I have the biggest fear that Maya is going to grow up and hate me," Emily said. She felt relief as soon as she said it. She'd never told anyone before.
"Oh, Em. I really doubt that will ever happen," Lee replied.
"Now that I hear it out loud, it does seem ridiculous."
"Fears are valid," he reassured her. "We all have them."
"What's your biggest fear?"
"Dying alone," he answered.
"What would you rather have instead?"
"Someone there holding my hand," he answered. "Preferably my family, if I ever get one outside of the lads." She squeezed his hand under hers, and he rubbed his thumb over her knuckles in return.
"Most embarrassing thing you've ever done," she said next, wanting to lift the mood a little and continue to distract herself.
"Oh, geez," he said. "Well, one of the lads back in England dared me to wax a leg just to see if it hurt as bad as the girls said."
"Oh no..." Emily said, starting to laugh.
"It bloody well frickin' hurt," he finished.
"That's hysterical," she said, laughing harder.
"I did my upper leg."
"Oh, Lee!"
"Yea," he said, laughing with her now. "They had to finish as I could not."
"Oh my God," she gasped with laughter. She could just picture it.
"Gotta give you girls credit for doing that," he added.
"Well thanks."
They were quiet for a while. The storm waned, and after a bit, she lifted her head to listen, and so far it seemed there was just rain. She was trying to remember the last time she'd heard thunder.
"Shall I look?" Lee asked.
"Okay."
He moved his hand out from under hers and stuck his head outside. He brought it back in after a moment.
"I think we're in the clear."
"Good," Emily said, feeling a bit more relaxed now. She crawled out and stretched her cramped limbs. Lee came out next, and she helped him flip the canoe back over. It was raining lightly, but the wind had slowed to a tolerable level. She grabbed one end while he picked up the other, and they walked it back to the water. She held it while he went back for the paddles, boat kit, and life jackets.
"Ready?" he asked.
"Yea." She stood there looking at him for a moment, and it seemed like he wanted to say something, but he just licked his lips, sucked his teeth, and nodded. She climbed into the canoe carefully, and he got in next. Then they paddled through the rain all the way back to the island.
When they were back at the dock and Lee got out first, Emily pulled herself out and fell back onto the dock in relief. They were safe. She watched Lee tie the end to hold it and get to his feet. He stood in front of her and offered a hand, which she accepted. He pulled her up, and she stood there looking at him, her hand still in his.
"Thank you," she said sincerely.
"You're welcome."
"I think you were a very good soldier," she added. He tilted his head at her, curious.
"What makes you say that?"
"You're very good in a crisis, you know how to distract someone from fear and pain, and you genuinely give a shit," she answered. "That's what."
"Can I tell you another secret?" he asked, moving in a bit closer to her.
"Sure," she replied, studying his face thoroughly before he moved it to be next to hers.
"I was like that before I joined the SAS," he said, his lips close to her ear.
"I know," she said back, turning her head so that her mouth was next to his. "That's why I said you were a good soldier." She contemplated kissing him, she really did, but the problem was that she knew once they started, she wouldn't be able to stop.
"Have I changed your mind?" he asked quietly, still looking at her. Had she changed her mind? She'd wavered so much. She was trying to stop from trembling and answer him when:
"Mum!" Maya called. Footsteps were coming down the hill towards them.
"Not yet," she replied to him, taking a step back and turning to catch Maya as she crashed into her waist.
"I was scared!" Maya cried.
"I'm sorry, baby."
"Where were you?!"
"I got stuck in the storm and had to take cover," Emily answered, smoothing Maya's hair. "I'm alright. Lee kept me safe."
"Thank you, Lee," Maya said, finally noticing him.
"Anytime, Maya."
"Who kept you safe?" Emily asked, picking Maya up despite her being heavy.
"They all did," Maya answered. "Caesar made us a fort."
"Very cool."
"You're wet," Maya said, wrinkling her nose. Emily heard Lee chuckling behind her as he put stuff away.
"I know. I'm gonna go change. You coming with me?"
"Are we gonna come back?"
"Maybe."
"Not maybe," Maya argued. "Say yes."
"Well, I wanted to spend some time with you, so is it okay if we do that for a bit?" Emily asked.
"Okaaaaay."
"Thanks, luv," Emily said, planting a big kiss on Maya's cheek and making her giggle. She started walking towards her cottage, stopping to look at Lee when he emerged from the boathouse again.
"See you later," he said.
"Yea," she agreed. She was going to let go of her promise to never speak to him again if he dumped her out of the canoe. She knew he hadn't genuinely meant to, and she hadn't meant it as soon as she said it.
"Bye, Lee," Maya said.
"Bye, girly," Lee replied, making Maya giggle again. Emily could see the longing in his eyes. She knew that the family he was looking for was standing right in front of him, but she just couldn't bring herself to let go. The thought of it all ending in disaster was too much to bear, even if she couldn't imagine never speaking to him again.
She walked back with Maya with a heavy heart. She did her best to pretend she wasn't fantasizing about what his kiss would taste like.
...
"Where the hell were you guys?" Barney asked upon seeing Lee as he came inside. The kids had done a great job at distracting him all day. He was dreading being alone later. The thoughts were going to suffocate him, he just knew it.
"Long story," Lee answered. Gunner raised a brow but said nothing.
"Did something happen?"
"No, Barney, nothing happened," Lee retorted. "I dumped her out of the canoe, and we had to take cover in the storm. That was it."
"You dumped her out of the canoe?!" Toll exclaimed, looking up from his book from the couch.
"We got stuck on a log...nothing happened!" Lee said forcefully, getting flustered. He was trying not to think about her hand in his, her mouth so close and so tempting to kiss. Her eyes asking him to. Say what she wanted, but Emily was falling for him too. He just knew it.
"Alright," Barney said, holding up his hands. "Sorry about the mess." Lee was almost to his room when he paused.
"What?" he asked.
"Nothing," Barney replied, turning away. Lee frowned and flicked his bedroom light on, halting when he saw nothing was the way he'd left it that morning.
He sighed.