Dick looked at Jason. Jason looked at Dick. Jason was confused. Dick was looking at him weirdly. Like he expected to be punished… but not physically?
"Dick, is something wrong?"
"I was bad. You punish me now."
Jason had no idea what Dick thought was 'bad' exactly. As far as Jason could tell, Dick had done nothing wrong. Thinking back, he settled on the only thing possible.
"Do you mean you're sorry for saying that it could mess with how you learn?"
"Yes, Jason."
Jason knelt beside the 8 year old boy, wishing he could sooth away every misplaced fear sown inside him. But he was the Red Hood. And even the thought that he could be equal to such a task was on par with a fairy tale. "Why would you be sorry for that?"
"Because you know better than me, Jason. I'm too stupid to make decisions myself. I shouldn't challenge you because when I do things my way, it makes you hurt and I make bad things happen. I'm worthless and you're everything. I never deserved for you to take care of me, or even look at me. For me to be independent is saying that I deserve anything, when I am really the most worthless thing in the universe. I…"
Jason cut Dick off there. At this rate he was going to shoot something or start crying, and neither of those would be helpful. This rant… it sounded… scripted.
"Did your Daddy make you memorize that?"
"Yes, Jason."
Alright, now something else was freaking Jason out. Dick kept using Jason's name… like it was a title or something. Jason could feel his mind straying to how people used nicknames and their implications, but shook it off. He didn't have time for that right now. He had basics to cover.
"Okay, Dick? I never want you to say that again. You are a very special and wonderful boy, and very amazing." That sounded stupid, didn't it. It did. It sounded stupid. Jason was horrible at this. He should go die in a hole or something, but he doubted Dick could take care of himself, so that option was out. Still. Was there any way to convey Dick's nonworthlessness by shooting things?
"And I happen to know that you're a very smart little boy, who's very good at lots of things." This was weird. And still stupid. Jason was not used to complementing Dick. Or anyone. Except himself. And Kory. And Roy, sometimes. But not Dick. See, Jason had tried to kill Dickie bird, and Dickie bird had tried to put Jason in jail. Also, Jason had replaced Dick as Robin. Also, they'd never been exactly the closest, although Jason had always kinda idolized Dick for as long as he could remember. And Dick had been nice to him. But complements? Not his thing, not at all.
Maybe he should try quoting movies for nice speeches. Except if Dick recognized the movies that could backfire. Why were compliments so hard? Jason was getting frustrated, and when that happened, he usually went and shot drug dealers, or something. With rubber bullets now. Because his stupid family was all dead set on sissifying him.
"Am I good at making you happy?" Dick looked so lost and confused, searching for anything to hold on too.
But Jason wasn't sure how to respond to that, honestly. If he said no, the kid would be crushed, and probably decide he'd failed at his mission in life. And given all his self destructive tendencies, that could be a very bad thing. On the other hand, if he said yes,
he was establishing himself as the same kind of person as 'Daddy'. No win scenario.
"Well I think you're very good at doing what's right because you want to help people. And you do, you've made very many people happy, in my world. But you also know that you're a special person too, and you do lots of things most people can't."
"I don't understand, Jason."
"Well, most people aren't as nice and caring as you. Lots of people are very mean, and want to do things for themselves, or hurt other people." Like me, Jason mentally added. "But you're very good; you like helping people, and you're very good at doing it. You have all kinds of very special skills that you're very good at!"
Jason kinda hoped Dick didn't ask him to list them. Why couldn't the Demon Spawn be here? He and Dick were practically joined at the utility belt. Usually Jason noticed the super cool things Dick did, then promptly tried to unnotice them, all while attempting (unsuccessfully) to convince himself that Dick was not his hero. At all. Liar.
"Everyone in our family loves you very much, even though we all have emotional issues." Jason immediately kicked himself. What kind of kid wanted to hear that? "You're very special, and the only thing that holds us together."
Dick looked at him as if all that was good had solidified in front of his eyes. "I love you." Dick said, hushed by awe. Jason wasn't sure if his message had gotten across or not.
Dick understood everything Jason was trying to say. Jason was telling him that he was loved as much as a person who was special. It was very sweet and amazing of Jason to lie like that.