Chapter 28

"Dick, can I talk with you for a second?"

Turn and smile, remember to pull eyes into a squint. He's observant, remember?

"Uh huh. I mean, yes, Tim."

"Great. Um. So. I was just wondering if we could talk a little bit about rules and stuff. Is that okay?"

Don't project emotion, just stay positive. Don't make him suspect anything; that's bad. Remember protocols but he doesn't seem to want them maybe it's still a test? Just say yes! "Yes, Tim. Of course!"

"Oh, good. Do you want to sit down?"

Smart-big-brother Tim does.

"Yes, Tim!"

Skip over, don't be nervous, nervous is fear and fear is bad unless Daddy wants it flop down don't hurt the couch but don't be stiff stiff is uncomfortable for Daddy...

"Jason and Damian are busy cleaning up right now, so I thought we could take now to talk!" Tim smiles, he smiles more with Dick than he does when he's with Jason and Damian that's weird it seems like it would be opposite they can't be real smiles?

Awesome-nice-smart Tim paused probably he wants Dick to talk?

"That sounds great, Tim!"

Tim leaned forward, his smile slipping as he rested his elbows on his knees. His eyebrows drew together and oh no he wasn't happy this wasn't good Dick didn't want to have a conversation like this he was going to say more things Dick didn't understand and Dick just wanted to know what to do but this was all so confusing maybe Tim wouldn't talk, maybe he'd be quiet?

"Dick, do you remember when Daddy found you?"

Of course not.

"No, Tim."

"Can you please try?"

Another smile, encouraging, Dick thinks, and Dick wonders what makes Tim care so much when this can't possibly make Dick any better at being nice than he already is. The rules… they don't make sense anymore and Dick doesn't like it.

"Ummm… yes, Tim."

By now Dick knows that they don't like it when he says things break Daddy's rules: he just can't help it sometimes, everything is wrong and now he's being bad and distracted again. He needs to focus why can't he pay attention?

Tim is nice, Tim is kind and he gives nice smiles and cuddles Dick sometimes and Dick loves him sososo much, he's different than Daddy, different that Jason but Dick loves him anyway.

Dick used to have just one person to love, but now he has more and he's learning how to love differently and how to love people who are different, when he used to love just Daddy. But Dick is learning how to love different people so fast and so easily that with that, plus what Tim's sayin' about thinking how Daddy found him… it scares Dick. He doesn't want to think about why loving different people is so easy.

But Tim says he has to try.

Dick squeezes his eyes shut and tries to think about feelings and suddenly BOOM his head hurts but it doesn't feel so sharp as normal (his mouth still tastes tingly like after Damian gave him the squished plant food) and WAIT does the hurting come because he's been bad?

Dick feels like he should've noticed this before.

The pain goes upupup but Dick can make it go away? Daddy never said why the hurting happened… he never said to try to stop it. There were no rules stopping Dick here Daddy might say nono not allowed no thinking! But Jason loves Dick (Daddy never said that), and he said it was good to make the hurting not happen so Daddy could just… no, those were bad thoughts.

But the feelings, the new (fighting?) feelings didn't go away, and Dick figured if he didn't think about them he couldn't be doing anything wrong. He didn't think about that feeling either.

Dick tenses his whole body, thinks with his whole body and thinks backbackback and what does he know, whatwhatwhat….

Your name is Dick. I'm your Daddy. I own you. Who am I?

Flashes of light pop like light bulbs behind Dick's eyes.

You will always do what I tell you. You are not a person. You will never be loved. You do not want to be loved. You just want to make Daddy happy.

No, no, farther, earlier!

Your name is Dick. I'm your Daddy. I own you. Who am I? Your name is Dick. I own you. You do what I tell you. You love me. You never disobey me.

You will never remember before I took you. You will never want anything I haven't given you.

It's skipping memories! He wants to stay in one place!

You don't deserve anything.

Remember one thing!

Hold still. This isn't going to hurt. Unless you fight me. Listen to me, and listen hard. My name is Daddy. I'm your Daddy. You love me and you would never do anything that wouldn't make me happy. Repeat it. I SAID repeat it!

That's better. You'll obey, if you don't want to get hurt. Now say it again.

No! My name is Daddy. Daddy. Remember that.

Your name is Dick, yes, fine. Listen-stop crying, listen. My name is Daddy, you're Dick and you love me.

My name- Alfred, no, not now, I'm busy. Just leave it outside the door, no don't come in, just leave it there. I'm in the middle of something.

My name is Daddy. You want to obey me. You don't want to think for yourself. Yes, that's better. My name is Daddy. You want to obey me. You don't want to think for yourself. My name is Daddy. You want to obey me. You don't want to think for yourself. Repeat that.

Good-no don't ask questions, how stupid are you, all you have to do is listen and repeat, that's it! It isn't that hard!

I said don't ask questions!

Where's Mommy?