Knitting Fate
Second installment in Canon Patchworking with Uchiha Ren series
Sixteenth Thread
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This chapter has been beta'd for you by hestia8639. Thanks a lot!
Official beta'd version posted 04.08.2017
"I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me."
― Noël Coward
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One day after Ren's temporary leave has ended, her team is learning to play Jesus by waterwalking. And failing, honestly. Well, except for Hana, who has damn good chakra control (she is shaping up to be a medic-nin) and does it after just a few tries. Hibiki and Ren? Not so much. Hibiki is an airhead who can't put enough attention into doing so, and is currently shrieking as he falls into the water. It's only knee-deep, but fucking freezing.
And Ren? Ren is not someone who pulls her punches. Never was. She is not subtle, she is not gentle, she is hardly precise. Standing on water isn't all that hard. But when she tries to walk? The water promptly explodes underneath her feet, because she might be a natural at drawing her white-hot, so very Uchiha-y fire chakra, but it does not mix with water at all. Trees are easy. Trees are steady, and firm, and had an uneven surface to which she could just glue herself, but water? Water is a bitch and Ren hates her. Water is cold and slimy and constantly moving, and Ren feels like a cockroach trying to imitate a water pond skater. And, which is easy to conclude, she is failing. Quite epically.
The worst thing is she knows what she's doing wrong. She pushes too much of too hot chakra into her feet. But the water is cold, and she doesn't control it – also, the only solution she ever faced before was 'if it doesn't work, do more', not 'do less' or 'be precise'. Precision is for surgeons, and she was a detective. She chased people, punched people, and shot people. No need for precision there, just stamina and semi-accuracy.
Want to know a super secretive secret? Water and fire do not mix well. Or at all. Surprising, isn't it?
It isn't helping that Hibiki is having as much – if not more – problems than her. He, for instance, puts too little chakra into his feet. So, instead of having it explode underneath his feet, he walks as if on gelatin or pudding. He sinks slowly until he breaks the little focus he had once the cold water reaches above his ankle-high ninja shoes. And goes down with a pathetic shriek.
Ren isn't all that better, only instead of shrieking she takes to cursing. At the top of her lungs.
"Why is it so hard to tone my chakra down?!" she whines eventually, just as pathetic as she feels, which is very, as she falls onto her ass next to Hana. "I never thought that my inability to pull my punches would be such a disadvantage."
"Oh come on, don't do that," Hana pats her shoulder. "I managed only because chakra control is something natural for me. Otherwise I wouldn't even dream of going medic."
"I'm not going to be a medic," Ren huffs. "I'm going to be the reason other villages will need more of them!" she bellows, much to her friends' amusement.
"Hardly, if their patients will just run onto a liquid surface where you can't reach them," a new voice chirps in, and Ren bends her head backwards and grins.
"Hi, Hound," she says. "You look weird without the ANBU attire."
"I'm not even going to ask," Shibi says from above the scroll he is reading, and Kakashi actually pouts at her.
"Maa, Ren-chan, ANBU identities are supposed to be top-secret!"
"You've been my babysitter since when? Like, January, I guess, yeah?" she states the obvious. "It's your voice. And the hair. Actually, it's more the hair. Any birds nesting there this year yet?"
"Cocky," Kakashi says, but there's a hint of amusement in his eyes. "And do refer to me as Hatake-sensei, or at least senpai for the time being, okay?"
"Sure thing, Kacchan!" if possible, Ren's grin grows even wider. Kakashi stiffens for a bit, and Ren can't even feel bad for using Izuku's nickname for his best-friend-turned-nemesis from Boku no Hero over all the giddy, warm, fuzzy feeling blossoming in her chest over the sole fact that she did. Shibi just stares between the both of them, curious of where this will take either of them. Kakashi seems mildly annoyed but also somewhat resigned.
He does, after all, know Ren. The first thing she asked him was if he would cook for them wearing a pink apron, for crying out loud! If he expected a timid, shy kid, he was very, very wrong. Because Uchiha Ren is an exuberant, hotheaded, and foul-mouthed, who made her opinions known. Loudly. Often spiced up with a foul word or three, if said opinion is negative.
"Right," Kakashi sighs heavily, "I had forgotten about your… qualities."
"Oh quiet you, unless you want to actually take up the task of cooking in that pink apron I saw in the shop. I can even buy it for you-" the jōnin eyes her, eyebrow twitching "-or you can give me some sharingan pointers and call it a day. Personally, I'd actually prefer the former idea of spending time, but, well."
Shibi openly stares at them as if Ren just dyed her hair hot pink and dressed up in a very girly, equally pink, even more frilly dress and started dancing the Macarena, Hibiki has the dumbest face on and Hana is choking on her laughter in a very futile attempt to stop it. Kakashi shoots Shibi a look of 'are you fucking kidding me'.
"I hate you, kid," he says finally, and Ren laughs at the statement.
"With the same fierce hatred you felt when you bought us food few months back?" she asks, quirking her eyebrow, and Hana grins in acknowledgement, because she does remember. "Yeah, I think I'll manage that kind of hate just fine, yeah?"
"Oh, seriously, Ren," Hana chimes in. "How could you possibly doubt Ryōken-san here?"
Hibiki is very much stupefied, but this time even Shibi looks curious.
"I hate both of you," Kakashi answers blandly, and then turns to Shibi. "Remind me what possessed me to agree to help this Uchiha brat?"
"Free food, Hatake-san," Shibi says politely, and Hatake Kakashi, one of the strongest brainwashed killing machines this village has, lets out a heavy, pained sigh.
He hates his life so much. It just loves stranding him with overly-emotional Uchiha who are pain in the asses by sheer default of existing. But, unlike Obito, Ren actually does what she can to get stronger. That, he appreciates.
(But, also unlike Obito, she's downright mean. She has every intention of insulting people with her actions and words, and she makes the fact known. It was only yesterday that she made a civilian girl cry. Sure, the wench dared to insult Naruto, but Ren's retaliation was immediate and painful, mentally.
Kakashi finds himself silently appreciating the fact. This should be his role – if only he was allowed to interact with Naruto before he graduated! But Ren… Ren should be enough for the next five or so years. She has to be.)
If he only knew to what extent she plans to become involved in the blond's life. If only.
(If only his hair could get any grayer than it already is.)
Training her sharingan is draining as fuck, period. Also, the prolonged usage of the creepy eyes™ makes her eyes hurt down to her very sockets and her head spin. Sure, her vision is the purest HD ever, but the sheer amount of details makes her sick. She can count leaves on a tree fifty meters away from her, and it's ridiculous. But it does do wonders for her fighting style. She has never actually trained in fighting with a sharingan – she doesn't know where to start even, let alone what to do, and fighting in HD, nearly in slow-motion? It's awesome. And holy shit, it helps so much.
"You're better at this than I expected," Kakashi says finally, and Ren looks at him, eyes red and three tomoe spinning. (Three? Weird, Kakashi thought, for someone her age and experience to have a fully matured base sharingan, but okay, what gives.) She sits down and takes hold of her head, eyes hazed before red fades to the dullest, most boring black he's ever seen. "Quite admirable that someone like you is actually capable of following orders and directions."
"If they're useful, Kacchan, I see nothing wrong with doing what I'm told," she huffs, curling fists and pressing them to her temples. "Shit, I feel like I'm gonna throw up."
"You haven't used sharingan much before?" he asks, quirking his eyebrow.
"Actually, only to find things in the morning when it's dark," she shrugs, and this time Kakashi gawks at her. For her to use it for something so trivial- "I actually gave Sasuke quite a scare, actually, when I forgot to turn it off when I woke him. He tried to strangle me with a pillow!" she barks out a laughter. "I think he'll do well as one of your precious brainwashed child soldiers."
"Did you seriously…" Kakashi hides his face in his hands. "And you just managed two hours of nonstop sharingan training? You have stamina as ridiculous as Guy!"
And, of course, this is the moment that the mighty Beast of Konoha hears the call of its sworn rival, and somehow teleported to quite near to where they are with the loudest 'my eternal rival recognizes my youthfulness' and waterworks. Seriously, so much waterworks.
"What the actual fuck," Ren instantly voices what she suspects to be the thoughts of both her and Kakashi. One look into his mismatched eyes is enough of a confirmation. And then, just to keep up appearances, because seriously: "Who the fuck are you?"
"Me?" Guy asks, pointing his thumb at his chest – clad, of course, in green spandex – and, completely unfazed by her language, beams, and says; "I am Might Guy, the Youthful Beast of Konoha! And who might you be, young lady?"
"Uchiha Ren, yo, and you kinda interrupted our training. Me and-" Kakashi's eyes widened and he shook his head in horror, "-Kacchan here are going through some sharingan basics so I don't die during my chūnin exams in Iwa."
Guy looks at her, then at Kakashi, and Kakashi is looking at her as if looks could kill- Wait, no, this is Ninja Land, if you have proper eyes looks can kill, fuck. So, Kakashi is looking at her as if he wishes he had a set of killer eyes, that's for sure. And then, Guy bursts out.
"Ah, that's most youthful that you allow yourself to be acquainted with the prime of youth of our flourishing village!"
And then, just like that, Ren gets the most devilish, deliciously evil idea she could possible get where life concerns Kakashi.
"Hey, Guy," she calls to the man, and very much ignores the waterworks that start immediately, and pretends to not see Kakashi's expression, suddenly horrified again, and asks, "you're a ninja, yeah? What're you good at?"
The mighty Beast of Konoha, the guy to take her beloved monster of a top third character that is Kisame down, is wailing like a child and waterworking so hard it's ridiculous.
"Taijutsu," Kakashi answers for him. "His chakra work is mediocre at best, so he works physically," he says, hoping that mentioning mediocre chakra work will be enough to scare the chakra-oriented Uchiha off. Ho boy, he's up for a nasty surprise, that one. Because instead of shrugging the man off like Kakashi expects her to, Ren's eyes suddenly light up and he knows he's fucked. Like, very much.
"If you focus on nothing but taijutsu, you must be good, aren't you?" she asks, and Guy, for once, shuts up. He looks at her, then beams (it's blinding – like, literally, his teeth fucking shine) and then nods. "Well then, how about you give me a pointer or two after I'm back from the exams? In about two months, but still. Currently I'm relying on taijutsu quite a bit, so an advice or two from someone who essentially specializes in it would do me some good."
Guy's resumed waterworks are enough to flood Ren's sandals. Thank fuck she always has them custom made so they would have covered toes, otherwise she would really feel like Jesus. Her grandmother was a fanatic Christian, so she does know a thing or two about the bible – and there was that woman who washed Jesus' feet with her tears. And Ren walked on water only earlier today, however sloppily and failing that was.
"You're the spawn of the devil, I tell you," Kakashi groans once they manage to rid themselves of the overly-excited, green menace that is Guy. He looks at her, unimpressed and unamused, but she knows he's annoyed and currently regrets his life decisions hard. "And I hate you."
"Sure, sure, Kacchan. By the way, why are you here? Aren't you an ANBU? When I asked Shibi yesterday, I really didn't expect him to get you the very next day!" she exclaims, because that's something that's been bothering her the entire day as Kakashi was trying to pound some sharingan knowledge into her. It's working, honestly – the only things she has to remember is to not overuse it, really.
"I'm on leave, week long," he says, and Ren nods. True, she has not seen him much for the last few weeks, if at all. She looks at him, expecting the man to elaborate. He looks at her and sighs. "A mission. Got hit. Hokage-sama hooked me off to heal up. I hate hospitals."
Ren laughs and adjusts her hands under her head. They're currently on a hill, watching clouds. Kakashi told her to do that, after the sun dimmed a bit, with the sharingan, and she would tell him the colors she saw in the clouds. At first she was skeptical, but when she looked up, into a very HD sky, she was rendered breathless for a bit. Because who knew that clouds were fucking fluffy rainbows?!
"Hey, Kachhan, wanna know a secret?" she asks suddenly, and she herself doesn't know why she does so. She feels him shift and look at her as she sits up. "Yes or no? Of course, you can't tell anyone or I'll find you, find out where you live and then plant catnip all over your place. Okay? And that's going to be the least of your troubles."
Kakashi eyes her, because not only does he dislike cats, he's actually allergic to them, and knowing Ren she is more than capable of turning her threat into reality. But if she threatens him with more, in such a childish, innocent, yet somehow serious manner… Kakashi sits up, looks at her and stills. He finds himself unable to breathe, actually.
"Surprise?" Ren asks with a smile, and Kakashi just can't stop staring at the shuriken-shaped black lines, swirling lazily on startling, eerie red.
Why has nobody told him Ren had the fucking Mangekyo Sharingan?!