Hello readers, I am back with a new chapter! I was really busy for a while and it literally took me weeks to get this chapter right, but I hope it's long and fluffy enough to make up for the wait. As always, thanks so much for taking the time to read this fic!
Namaari set her plate on the ground next to her, leaning back with the palms of her hands pressed against the grass. She closed her eyes, taking in a long, slow breath. A faint breeze blew through the garden, bringing the smell of spices and cooking fires from the nearby kitchens, mixing pleasantly with the heady aroma of the marigolds blooming in the garden around them. She exhaled once more before opening her eyes, turning her head just in time to see Raya shove three dumplings into her mouth at once. They both paused, Namaari raising an eyebrow and Raya trying to grin sheepishly around the large amount of food in her mouth.
Raya did her best to look indignant as she chewed, finally swallowing the food a moment later. "Don't judge me! I'm hungry and we missed dinner."
Namaari rolled her eyes, dropping back with her elbows against the ground. "We only missed dinner because you insisted on spending an hour drooling over that sword."
Raya scoffed and waved a hand at her dismissively. "I think I spent a perfectly reasonable amount of time looking at a sword that's inlaid with dragon fangs. How long did you spend looking at it the first time you saw it?"
"Two hours," Namaari mumbled, pouting slightly as Raya laughed.
"See?" Raya said, throwing up one of her hands above her head. "I spent a very reasonable amount of time looking at the coolest sword I've ever seen."
"Yeah, but you made us miss dinner. I had to steal those dumplings from the kitchen and they're really busy right now preparing for the harvest festival."
Raya jabbed a finger gently into Namaari's shoulder, jostling her slightly. "I still can't believe you forgot to tell me there's a festival this week."
"I was focused on other things," Namaari said as she swatted Raya's hand away. "It's not my fault you're so distracting."
Namaari barely had time to blink before Raya moved toward her. Raya planted her hands on either side of Namaari and leaned forward, bringing their faces as close as they could be without touching. Namaari found herself stunned into silence, gasping at Raya's sudden closeness like the air had been knocked out of her. She froze, the light of their magic pulsing rapidly around her as quickly as her pounding heart. After what felt like forever, Raya closed that last bit of distance between them, kissing her gently. Namaari's mind went blank as her eyelids fluttered shut, every fiber of her being focused on Raya's lips moving softly against her own.
A moment later, Namaari's arms began to tremble, and she broke the kiss, collapsing onto the grass with a grin stretching across her face.
Raya stayed where she was, looking down at Namaari with a soft expression that quickly turned into a smirk. "Wow, you've got it bad for me, don't you, dep la?"
Raya's smug look brought Namaari back to her senses. "Still not as bad as you have it for that sword," she said, laughing when Raya grunted in annoyance.
Namaari raised her head, her smile widening when Raya met her eyes. Raya flushed slightly but held her gaze. "See something you like?" she asked, a hint of a smirk coming back to her face.
Namaari sat up, bringing a hand up to trail along Raya's jaw. She waited until her hand was settled against Raya's cheek, her thumb gently rubbing back and forth. "Yes," she said, her voice barely above a whisper.
Raya's grin was gone, replaced by a tender expression that made Namaari's breath catch in her throat. The glow of their magic around Raya brightened steadily, casting light and warmth like the reignited embers of a fire. Raya brought her hand up to the back of Namaari's head and pulled her into another kiss. When they broke away a few seconds later, they kept their faces close, resting their foreheads together as they both gasped for breath.
"I could kiss you forever," Namaari said, shaking her head slightly. "Over and over and over again, and I would never get tired of it."
Raya let out a breathy laugh. "You really did fall hard for me, didn't' you?"
"I did. How could I not?"
Namaari leaned forward again, but Raya put a hand on her shoulder to stop her. "I like kissing you, too. But I still need a chance to breathe sometimes."
Namaari laughed, pressing her lips against Raya's cheek before laying back on the grass. She closed her eyes, letting out a deep breath as Raya laid down beside her. Her heart was still beating rapidly in her chest, just as fast as when she had confessed her feelings several hours ago, and she felt like she had been floating since then. After a moment, she opened her eyes and turned her head to look at Raya. The movement bent the grass beneath her cheek, the shield of their magic stopping the blades from prickling her skin. Part of her wished she could feel the cool, prickling sensation against her skin, something to ground her and prove that this moment wasn't just a dream.
Raya must have felt her gaze, because she tilted her head to meet Namaari's eyes. "Why do you keep looking at me like that?" she asked.
Namaari's brow furrowed slightly. "Like what?"
"You just look like you can't quite believe this is happening."
"Probably because that's how I feel."
Raya paused, a frown pulling at her lips "Why is it so hard to believe that this is real?"
Namaari sighed, looking up at the stars that were just starting to shine overhead. "I've been in love with you for so long. I just can't quite process that it's not all in my head anymore."
"Would it help if I kept kissing you?"
"It certainly wouldn't hurt," Namaari said, smiling when Raya giggled.
"I think I still need more time to breathe first," Raya said. She reached for Namaari's hand, lacing their fingers together and settling their hands in the space between them.
Namaari's eyes drifted slowly across the sky, landing on a constellation that was just becoming visible above them. "Do you see those stars there?" she asked, pointing up at the cluster of stars. "There are three of them in the shape of a triangle with the point facing downward. And there's a wave of slightly dimmer stars beneath it." She glanced over at Raya long enough to see her nod, then moved her eyes back to the constellation. "Those three stars in the triangle are a dragon fang and the stars below it form a river."
"I'm sensing a story here."
"There is. It's one of Fang's oldest legends. A long time ago, before any of the five nations existed, there was a group of people facing a famine. Drought and disease had wiped out their crops and all the other vegetation, and the small river they relied on for water had almost dried up. The lack of plants and water had driven all the animals away as well, but the people were so hungry that they didn't have the strength to follow them.
"One of the dragons saw that they were suffering and decided to use her magic to help them. She gave up one of her fangs and planted it in the ground. A new river sprang up from where the fang was buried, washing over the land and making it flourish again. The people settled along that river and grew to build a nation."
"Is that how Fang got its name?"
"Yes. And it's why the river protected us from the Druun. Because it came from a dragon's magic." Namaari took in a long, slow breath, squeezing Raya's hand as her eyes traced the familiar constellation. "Atitāya was the one who first told me that story."
Raya hummed in surprise. "Really? She doesn't strike me as someone who likes fairy tales."
"She doesn't, no. But she knows all of Fang's stories. She probably meant for the story to teach me some kind of lesson, but all I cared about when I was younger was that it had a dragon in it."
Raya laughed softly. "I get it, I was the same way." She was silent for a few seconds, then inhaled like she was going to speak but let the breath out, repeating this several times before she finally spoke. "You said that you've been in love with me for a long time?"
"Yes."
"How long?"
"Since the day we met."
Raya made an exasperated noise. "It was a serious question. I really want to know."
"It was a serious answer. Since the day we met."
Raya fell silent again, but from the corner of her eye, Namaari could see the light of their magic around her swell ever so slightly. A moment later, Raya moved closer to her, laying an arm across Namaari's stomach and resting her head on her shoulder. "What made you realize how you felt?" she asked after she was settled.
"My mother pointed it out, actually," Namaari said, smiling when Raya made a noise of disbelief. "I know, I was surprised, too. I still don't totally believe the conversation with her happened, either. But she was right.
"I'll have to thank her for that later," Raya said, her arm tightening around Namaari's waist. "What else did you talk about? I know you said you felt like you actually got through to her."
"She didn't want to listen to me at first because she thought I was being too emotional. But I told her that she needed to finally understand how I felt. About how she taught me to distrust my emotions, and how much I struggled with that. How much it hurt me the day I betrayed you, and every day since then." Namaari pulled Raya even closer to her, pressing a kiss against the top of her head before she started speaking again. "She actually apologized for including me in her plan to steal the Gem. And that she would never have asked me to do it if she knew it would haunt me the way it has. She also said she was proud of the work that I'd done to get here. That I was the strong, capable, kind daughter she tried to raise me to be." Namaari paused, her eyes wandering slowly across the sky as a frown crept across her features.
Raya waited a moment until she was sure Namaari was done speaking. "That's a pretty big deal for her," she said, her fingers tracing circles around Namaari's hip. "But something about it is still bothering you, right?"
Namaari sighed. "I just…" she trailed off, pressing her lips into a thin line as she thought for a few seconds. "I know her apologizing, acknowledging my feelings, and saying she was proud of me were a really big deal for her. I've waited years to hear her say those things. And I'm grateful that she finally said them, but I know there are parts of me that she still doesn't understand. That she might never understand. I know she's changed, but I don't know if she's changed enough to accept all of me." The glow around her started to flicker, stuttering as Namaari's free hand twisted around a handful of grass and ripped a few blades from the ground. "Especially the parts of me that won't make me a good leader. Or might even make me a worse one."
Raya raised her head, moving a hand to tilt Namaari's chin down until their eyes met. "You're allowed to exist as you are without your mother's approval. Those parts of you that she might not ever understand can exist just for you, regardless of how she feels about them. And their worth isn't determined by how useful they can be to your mother and your people." Her voice was soft but full of such certainty that it made Namaari's chest ache. "I know you care about being a good leader, but you also need to be your own person. You don't need to give every part of yourself to them."
"Can I give every part of myself to you?"
Raya huffed, dropping her head onto Namaari's chest. "I don't know if that should make me smile or roll my eyes."
"Can I, though?"
Raya sat up so she was leaning over Namaari again, watching her face closely. "Yes," she said softly, the tenderness in her expression making Namaari's heart leap. "But hopefully you knew that already."
A smile flickered across Namaari's face. "I did. But it's nice to hear you say it."
Raya returned her smile before leaning down to kiss her. She moved her hand to caress Namaari's cheek as their lips moved together, slowly and gently. When they finally ended the kiss, Raya leaned her forehead against Namaari's, both of them smiling as they breathed each other in. After a moment, Raya laid back on the grass, pulling Namaari so she was pressed against her side.
Namaari closed her eyes, moving her arms to hold Raya as she took several deep breaths, letting her body relax a little more each time. She felt the last bit of tension leaving her body and when she opened her eyes again, the magic around them had resumed its steady glow. Tilting her head back, she kissed Raya's cheek, then laid her head back on Raya's shoulder. "You said you talked with your Ba? How did that go?"
"Pretty similar to how things turned out with your mother."
"You had a good conversation but there's something you're still worried about?"
"Exactly."
"Can you tell me about it?"
"Well…I told him that he was still trying to treat me like a child but that it would never give us back the years we missed together. He apologized and said he would try to change so he could get to know the person I've become. And that he was proud of me for keeping my kindness after everything I went through when I was alone."
"But…?"
"But I don't think I deserve that credit."
Namaari's brow furrowed as she played with the hem of Raya's shirt. "Why not? Isn't that what you did?"
"It is." Raya stopped and sighed, her mouth twisting into a frown. "But I don't think he understands how many times I almost lost that part of myself. How much I struggled to keep it alive. And that I basically gave up on it for a long time."
Namaari's hand stilled, her palm resting on Raya's stomach. "But you didn't."
"I almost did." Raya's voice was quiet, the light around her dimming just enough for Namaari to notice.
"It's not your fault that you had to make that choice so many times, but the fact that you still decided to be kind, over and over. That means something. It means everything."
"I…" Raya stopped when her voice wavered, biting down on her lower lip. She let out a long, shaky breath, but smiled when Namaari's arms tightened around her. "Thank you," she said finally. "I love you."
Namaari matched her smile, nuzzling her face into Raya's neck as a warm feeling burst into her chest. "I love you, too," she said, smiling as she left a trail of kisses along Raya's skin.
Raya let out a joyful laugh, holding Namaari as close as she could, the glow of their magic surging brightly again. They lapsed into a comfortable silence, both of them completely at ease in each other's arms. Raya began to work her fingers through Namaari's hair, sending shivers down her spine that made the light of their magic shimmer around them.
"I…" Namaari hesitated, her fingers picking at the grass next to Raya's hip. "While I was arguing to my mother, I told her that she had stolen our chance to grow up as friends. I said it because I was mad, but I think it was true." She paused and swallowed thickly, surprised by the sorrow that had crept into her voice. "What do you think that would have been like? To grow up as friends?"
Raya took her fingers from Namaari's hair, moving to rub slow circles on her back. "I know I still would've fallen for you," she said, and Namaari could hear the smile in her voice. "I already kind of had a crush on you and then you gave me your Sisu necklace and that pretty much sealed the deal."
Namaari hummed as she laughed softly. "Is that why you kept the necklace?"
"Yes. Because of what could have been. Because that was what I wanted, even if I didn't know it at the time."
"Me, too. And I…" Namaari took a deep breath, closing her eyes as she exhaled. "I want you to know that I'm sorry for the pain that I caused you. I know when I was a kid, it wasn't really my fault, but later, like when I fought you in Spine…that was wrong."
Raya sighed, her hand on Namaari's back coming to a stop. "It's okay. I understand. It was…the way we were drawn to each other even as the world fell apart around us. It was so easy for that to get twisted into anger, even hatred."
"There's always been that pull between us. I felt it, too."
"So, you had a crush on me, too?"
"Yes. From pretty much the first time you took my hand. I already told you that."
Raya laughed in relief, bringing her hand up to rest on her forehead. "Oh, good, I'm glad it wasn't just me. That would have been embarrassing."
Namaari rolled her eyes but smiled when Raya's hand resumed rubbing her back. "It does make me sad that I never got to court you, though."
Raya snorted. "What, you were going to woo me? Really?"
Namaari's smile widened despite the blush creeping up her cheeks. "Yes. Absolutely."
"And how would the Princess of Fang go about wooing someone?" Raya asked, emphasizing the word in a way that made Namaari laugh.
"I would bring her flowers every chance I could. Learn how to make her favorite foods. Send her gifts whenever we were apart. Write her letters to tell her how much I thought about her. Go with her to both of our favorite places. Anything to let her know how much she was cared for and that I would do anything for her."
"Show her a sword made of dragon fangs?" Raya asked, grinning when Namaari laughed again. "It sounds like you may have had some practice at this."
"No. Not really. I tried dating a few people during those years we were apart, but it felt too shallow. I know now it was because I was still in love with you. No one else had a chance of coming close to you."
"Good thing we can make up for that now."
"We can. But…" Namaari sighed, the beginnings of a frown creeping across her features. "I know how Benja feels. It's hard to let go of the grief over that lost time."
Raya shifted, raising one of her arms above them to point at the sky. "Do you see those stars there?" she asked. "The five stars in a circle, with a spiral of other stars surrounding it?"
Namaari tilted her head to follow where Raya was pointing, nodding when she spotted the constellation.
"Heart has a legend about those stars. A long time ago, a dragon and a human fell in love. They spent many happy years together, but eventually the human passed away from old age. The dragon was heartbroken, so filled with grief that they couldn't eat or sleep. All they could think about was how the person they loved was gone and they had so much love still that the human would never get to feel.
"After three days of grieving, the dragon couldn't bear it any longer. They went to one of the valleys in the mountains and curled up as tightly as they could. They focused on their heart, pouring out all the love they felt that had nowhere else to go. The love spilling from the dragon's heart filled the valley with lush plants and fertile ground, all of which was nourished by a great river.
"That's the story of how Heart came to be. I remember when my Ba first told it to me, he asked me afterwards what I thought it meant. I probably around six at the time, so I had no idea how to answer him. But during those years when I was alone, I thought about that story constantly, because I understood how the dragon felt. I had so much love left to give to my Ba and my people, but I had no way of giving it to them, and I thought I would never be able to again. At the time, it made me feel like the point of the story was that love would take everything from you, then the grief would drain you of your will to live.
"But after everything I've gone through, with Sisu, my friends, the Gem, and especially with you, I know what the message of the story really is now. It's that love can cause immense grief and pain but will always create something beautiful when you share it with other people."
Namaari exhaled slowly, blinking back the tears that were forming in her eyes. "I didn't know being in love would make you such a sap."
"What can I say? You bring out the hopeless romantic in me," Raya said in an exaggerated tone, clutching a hand to her chest.
Namaari laughed softly. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I love you." She sighed happily, closing her eyes as she buried her face in Raya's neck. Even with her eyes shut, she could see the light of their magic growing stronger, and a smile spread across her face. "That feels so good to say now."
"It does," Raya said, turning so her lips brushed against Namaari's forehead. "I love you, too, dep la."
