Knitting Fate
Second installment in Canon Patchworking with Uchiha Ren series
Eighteenth Thread
•••
This chapter has been beta'd for you by hestia8639. Thanks a lot!
Official beta'd version posted 05.08.2017
"I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it."
― Rodney Dangerfield
0
The journey to the land of Earth is swift and rather uneventful, save for an accidental run-in with a bandit group. It's barely even worth mentioning since the bandits were even less of an obstacle than a small river. But, there are nine genin teams with their nine sensei and an additional four chūnin as an escort, so the result is really not much of a surprise. And then, they had two possible ways to go; they could reach the Land of Earth by crossing either the Land of Waterfalls or the Land of Grass. The one leading, whoever that is, evidently chose Waterfall, because they decide to go straight to Iwa. As in, a straight line drawn from the ruler.
Nice vision, Ren has to admit. Idiotic, but nice.
Long story short, the voyage takes four days of jumping and running, and three nights, half of each for sleeping and half for jumping and running. Not many want to go to Iwa, not really, but Ren can't help but note that almost every team has a Hyūga in it. Hell, some teams have two Hyūga in them. Which means that Konoha is sending out most of their Bloodline Limit genin to Iwa, because as prickly a bitch as it is in terms of its people, Iwa is neither the bloodline-hating Kiri, nor the byakugan-thirsting Kumo. Ren is willing to bet that the next two exams would be spammed with countless Konoha genin, but no Hyūga whatsoever.
And Iwa itself is… rocky. And barren. Being used to everything being so very, vibrantly green, Ren is confused, because Iwa is all brown and gray, with little to no plant life, and how the fuck is this country supplied with air? Or maybe it isn't, because she is already having trouble with breathing. Not only she, many other genin, in fact, have paled and tried to even out their breaths. Not to mention all the dust in the air, sweet merciful Jashin. Ren, however, is still willing to bet that Suna is even worse, because, well, it's a goddamn desert.
"It's so… not-green," Hibiki huffs, covering the lower half of his face with his Hyūga-purple sleeve and squinting his trademark pale eyes. "It's awful."
"For once you're not talking like a total idiot," Hana chuckles. "But yeah. I was expecting… more green. A tree here and there, a bit of grass. And here we have… bigger rocks, smaller rocks, weird-shaped rocks, pale rocks, dark rocks, and- Oh! Did I mention rocks?"
"Sarcasm at its finest," Ren snorts, clapping her hands slowly. "I'm so proud of you."
Hana grins widely, showing off her canines, Hibiki actually laughs, and Shibi, walking next to them, pretends to not notice the show. A few other genin eye them with mixed reactions. Some are annoyed, some amused, others plain ignore them, and some are too stuck-up to care. Mostly Hyūga who think they're better than them only because they have a few more years of experience. Maybe they're better, yes, but Ren is not the type of person to get discouraged by just that. She went against people better than her many times, and sometimes came out on top, actually.
"Now, I want you two to be careful," Shibi says suddenly, putting his palms on heads of Hibiki and Ren each. "There will be teams from Kiri. Try not to engage them, if you can. Ren can be mistaken for a non-bloodline user, but Hyūga eyes are unmistakable. Oh, and stay away from ninja from Kumo, Hibiki."
"Okay," Ren says with a smile. "I'll try waiting a day or two before getting in trouble. Can't promise, though."
"It's not-" Shibi huffs, his eyebrow twitching above his shades, and he sighs. "Just, no collateral damage, please. If anything burns, I'm going straight to you."
"Sensei!" Ren makes a hurt expression, and the Aburame clan head just groans. He really, really should've found a replacement sensei instead of replacement clan head. Let someone else suffer Team Four, maybe. He would have most likely asked Tsume, were she not the head of her own clan, but on the other hand, that… that was not a good idea. Tsume is Hana's mother and seems to be fond of Ren. That would perhaps end up even worse. He at least tries to contain the destructive force that is - so very un-Uchiha – Uchiha Ren. Tsume would probably have just triggered her further instead.
"Anybody knows any Earth techniques?" Ren asks suddenly. "Because I have a feeling that they would be a hell of an asset here. Me, personally, I just burn stuff down."
"Hyūga don't do ninjutsu," Hibiki scoffs, and Hana only shakes her head.
"My affinity is water to begin with," Hana answers. "But even if, I mostly rely on my dogs. I'm a medic, anyway, so I shouldn't really be fighting. I'm here to make sure the two of you can fight."
One of her dogs yips, and her saying she relies on them is a bit funny, seeing that they barely reach her mid-calf, but whatever – Hana has a point. She's the support, and it's Hibiki and Ren who are supposed to do the majority of the dirty work. Ren can work with that.
"I'm surprised that you actually are already thinking about specializations," Shibi says as the walls of the village Hidden Among the Rocks appear on the horizon. "Hana is the support, Ren is the frontline powerhouse- Only Hibiki is a wildcard, but then, many teams have two people in the frontlines and one making sure those former two don't kill themselves."
"Well, before mom bullied me into the Academy I really wanted to be a vet," Hana chirps cheerfully. "So I decided I'd be just that, except not only for dogs, but also for other ninja."
"I'm being compared to a dog. Many thanks," Ren snorts, shaking her head, and Hibiki looks mildly insulted, but wisely stays quiet.
Iwa is pretty much like the rest of Land of Earth. It's all rocks, maybe differing more in color, shape, and size, but still, everything is rock. Except for some actual plants, which are sparse. Trees are hardly any taller than houses, that are two-story at most, actually. It's a bit sad, but then, Ren is more used to Hashirama'd mokuton trees that are tall, thick, and lush, and just so green.
After stating their business at the gates and dropping their things off in the hotel room they will be staying at, Shibi washes his hands of them and now, his precious Team 4 has to fend for themselves in Iwa, as he is, most likely, having tea with some other jōnin teachers. Hibiki, of course, ditches Ren and Hana the second he spots the twin Hyūga sisters with whom he'd spent quite a bit of his time traveling. Enough for both his teammates to know that those girls are his cousins, his mother's brother daughters, and three years his senior.
But the twins seem to genuinely enjoy the menace's presence. Maybe it's a shared blood thing, but Ren won't complain about the newfound peace of mind. Because they have three more days until the exams start, and Ren must first do something very important. Critically, even.
(Thank god the Haimaru brothers stayed in the hotel room, fast asleep.)
"So, we scouting for any good places to eat?" Hana asks, as if reading her teammate's thoughts.
"Of course we are, duh," Ren rolls her eyes. "You know me."
"I know that you and that blond menace are a match for an Akimichi kid. That says something."
Ren snorts, thinks about a reply, and then promptly collides into something hard. And there's a grunt, so it's obviously not a wall or a lamp. It's something living, breathing and tall enough that Ren's head collides with 'it's' stomach.
"Watch it brat," a distantly familiar voice grunts, and Ren instantly takes a step back and looks up and-
There are many things she wants to say currently, but the only thing she actually says.
"Holy shit, you're blue," she gasps, eyes wide as she stares into the beady, annoyed, surprised, and somewhat amused eyes of none other than Hoshigaki Kisame. Someone right next to the shark-man bursts out laughing, and it sounds like a hyena suffocating, honestly. Ren doesn't care.
It's Kisame fucking Hoshigaki. It takes every ounce of her self-control to not to start screaming and hug the hell out of him. He's definitely not an Akatsuki member yet, nor does he have Samehada anywhere on his person. Actually, his jaw isn't so very defined yet either, and- Ren does some math very quick and easily concludes that he is probably around twenty-three.
"Yes, I'm blue. So what?" Kisame asks, and Ren loses her inner battle.
"May I hug you?" she asks, and the only answers she gets are the sound of the someone laughing on Kisame's left promptly choking on his laughter, Kisame's shocked, wide-eyed stare and someone, who suspiciously sounds like Hana, whispering 'oh my god' behind her.
"I think that's the first reaction like that you ever got, eh, shark bastard?" both Kisame and Ren turn to the shark-nin's left only to see Momochi Zabuza's bandaged face. At least he's wearing a shirt, because otherwise Ren would do something that a twelve-year-old should not be doing.
"Why would it be the first?" Ren asks innocently, and then spreads her arms before Kisame, vividly gesturing at the shark-nin. "I mean, he's so awesome! Who wouldn't want to hug him?!"
"Everyone," Kisame huffs.
"Okay, maybe, but still, may I?"
Zabuza just bursts out laughing again, and Ren is positive that she actually hears Hana snickering behind her, too. Kisame looks exasperated, but under her intense stare, and maybe perhaps he really, really did not expect such a reaction, he opens his arms, and Ren instantly latches onto him. He smells like the sea, like salt and moist air, and, for some reason, a bit like pine tree. And he's warm, so Ren just sighs in pure bliss, then and there, in the middle of a road in Iwa, and refuses to let go for a good while.
"Damn, you're ripped," is the first thing she says after she un-latches herself off the humanoid shark. "Are you a jōnin instructor? You look way too strong to be a genin, and that's not the Iwa symbol on your forehead," she says.
"I'm a jōnin, but I don't have a team," Kisame admits, and jerks his thumb at Zabuza. "But Momochi, the bastard, has a team. I was sent to make sure he doesn't accidentally murder them."
"You're from Kiri, aren't you?" she says, and then widens her eyes and hopes that she plays shock of realization just fine. "Wait, wait, wait! Hold up! You mean to tell me that this twig with the bandaged muzzle is actually Momochi Zabuza, the Demon of the Hidden Mist?"
It's priceless to see Zabuza bristle, his fur ruffled, and actually reach for his sword with a growl, only to be intercepted by a grinning Kisame. His teeth are really sharp and it's damn impressive.
"Yes, this twig," he chuckles. "And I'm Hoshigaki Kisame."
Ren makes her eyes widen, and even has the audacity to force a blush. "I just hugged the Monster of the Hidden Mist?" she asks, because she did snatch Shibi's bingo book and go through it, and it doesn't contain rogue ninja only, and he already has his moniker. But then she shrugs and shakes her head. "Nah, you're cute and nice. Too fluffy to be a monster."
She is being ridiculous, but Kisame looks positively baffled as a kid half his size tells him he's cute.
Hana chooses this moment to step forward and nudge her in the ribs. Ren hisses at her, but the Inuzuka only grins in answer. "Right, yeah," Ren rolls her eyes. "I'm Uchiha Ren by the way, and this is Inuzuka Hana. We're from Konoha, obviously."
Kisame looks at Zabuza, and Zabuza looks back at him. Ren feels as if they're having a full silent conversation, because they sure look like they are.
"And when Mei said that Konoha-nin are weird, you didn't believe her," Kisame actually snickers, and Zabuza growls, elbowing him. Only, the shark-nin sidesteps and Zabuza almost loses his balance.
"Wait, Uchiha?" Zabuza asks. "Wasn't your clan, like, slaughtered?" he asks, absolutely tactless, before Kisame has a chance to strangle and shut him up. Zabuza, apparently, isn't the most tactful person, and Kisame? Kisame appeared to be just nice and well-behaved.
"Oh, yeah," Ren shrugs. "My precious prodigy of a cousin, violence-loathing pacifist went homicidal on the fam, big deal," she rolls her eyes. "Traumatized his brother a great deal, though."
"I might be interrupting your making new friends," Hana butts in, "but I'd like to remind you that we were looking for food. And I know you get insufferable when you're hungry."
"Correction, Hana," Ren raises one finger. "We were looking for meat. I'm a carnivore."
"We're just coming back from Teppanyaki," Kisame says, pointing behind him with his thumb. "They have some good pork and chicken there."
"Oh shut it," Zabuza grumbles. "You're just being nice because she ain't cowering in terror."
"No," Kisame snorts. "I'm being nice because she called you a twig."
Zabuza glares at his – comrade, friend, colleague (?) – and Ren knows a brewing fistfight when she sees one. But Kisame is taller, heavier and definitely more muscular, so guess who her bets are on. She looks at Hana and shrugs, and Hana shrugs right back.
"Have fun feeding each other dirt, and thanks!" Uchiha calls to the two, who are openly head-butting and snarling already, and she's pretty sure she goes ignored. But then, Kisame glances at her and raises his hand and gives a slight wave in goodbye. Ren doesn't think her grin will fade soon.
They find the Teppanyaki restaurant easily enough, because it smells like heaven to both of them. But before they have a chance to step inside, this time it's Hana's turn to get collided with. And it's not her fault either, because this time a tiny shape runs into her and slams bodily into the Inuzuka, who grunts. Said tiny shape has long, straight hair as bright as the sunrise, and when it pries itself off of Hana, they both get stared at by one cobalt blue eye, while the other is hidden by a long fringe. Not even the Iwa forehead protector keeps it out.
Deidara - who looks like a girl, is at least a head shorter than either girl – apparently decides that he has little to lose as he squeaks, grabs Hana's sleeve and twists, hiding behind the Inuzuka, so that she comes face to face with a very angry and even more drunk man.
At least today won't be boring, Ren thinks, cracking her knuckles as she eyes the man. And mini-Deidara looks disturbingly like mini-Naruto, so Ren feels completely justified when her inner protective older sister takes over.