Yarn Of Time

Omake Series of Canon Patchworking with Uchiha Ren series

Life and Team of Aburame Shibi

Hello and welcome to Yarn of Time. What is Yarn of Time? A dump, basically, a series of Omake, One-Shots, AUs and all the stuff. I mean, all the stuff. They're canon-complimentary, kind,a mostly, sometimes, but they're pretty much standalone.

This piece is with dedication to donstehly2, who will be celebrating birthday on the fifth! (Dunno about you, but for me it's still tomorrow.)

Also, I will not be doing things like these on normal basis. You may ask for stuff, but there's absolutely no guarantee I will do it. I did this one without thinking because it's the first request like this I've ever gotten and I'm so happy.)

academysscholar314 - and I adore your comment! As I said before, all the love I get from you guys makes me warm and fuzzy inside.

ThePlotbunnyBreeder - well, both clans always struck me as rather, well, timid. Only Hyuga are this posh, high and mighty, and Aburame are rather secretive.

mujoona - Deidara would be like 'oh god, it's jungle-gym-guy', and Kisame would be like 'oh, pyro-kid, do you remember Uchiha Ren-' and Deidara would be so very 'oh gOD NO'. Ren's weirdness is something that slightly traumatized Deidara actually, because Konoha what the fuck.

Alien361 - good laugh is always good. And as I said, this is 'AU World'Breaker' so who knows if Akatsuki will even have the same members as it had originally. Well, I know, but I ain't sharin' C

Warlord of Chaos - Your Hana and Ren decimated the enemy! Throw Pokeball to capture.

starsarebright - I'd like to remember that all Team Seven members are exposed to Ren. It won't make them better and more controlled.

Love Stories00 - well, Kisame is tall and is a good watching point for one. And two, Ren doesn't adopt kids. They just... Adopt themselves.

TamashinoSuzume - that's actually another of blackkat's, or submitted to blackkat, headcanons. That all Konoha-Nin are widely recognized as loonies and usually inspire reactions of 'oh fUCK NO ABORT E'RE LEAVING nOW'. We also know canonically that Oonoki got his ass handed to him by Madara, so, well. Yet another insane Uchiha with definitely psychotic love for fire graces his threshold? Cool, cool, let him just abdicate real quick.

DarkDust27 - hardly, unless it's Shibi. Otherwise those are people she meet for the first time, so how should they learn?

HikariNoTenshi-San - Twigbuza is life! Also, Ren actually gave Dei her gloves, so I'm guessing there is a teeny little bit of fixation in there? Not nearly as much as with Duckling Nine, though.

MawVax - lovely bunch o loons, aren't they? xD

Toushou-sama - thank you! ^.^

donstehly2 - well, thank you and Happy Birthday!

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Shibi was only a man. Sure, he was a ninja, a clan head to that! But he was also a husband, and a father (both biological and adoptive, if one counted Torune as well). And because he was only a man, he was, like any other normal person, prone to making bad decisions. And him agreeing to have his name put as one of possible genin sensei this year? Now that was an epitome of bad life choices. The icing on a cake, really.

It started with simple 'what can go wrong' and spiraled down fast. Very fast. Because Shibi is betting his very life that he agreed on takin a team of genin, not devils. And one drama queen.

Having spent his genin and chūnin years basically constantly with Inuzuka Tsume, he knows how to handle one boisterous character, but two of them? No way in hell. Because Tsume's very own daughter – the very same one who still keeps calling him uncle in private and who he babysat more than he dares to count – turned out to be a goddamn enabler. To no one else than Uchiha Ren, dubbed Tsume v2.0 by him, so far breaking every single Uchiha stereotype there is.

By first month Shibi is fairly certain that his hair are greying. By second moth, he's downright desperate, because those children (those two girls, at least) crawled straight out of hell and no one convinces him otherwise. No way in hell.

And this just might be the reason as to why he finds himself, wife, kids and all, at semi-formal dinner in Hyūga compound, with every intention on calling on a debt on his ex-teammate, just to free himself of his Devil Team for at least a week. He and his wife will be having anniversary soon, and honestly this is the best time to temporarily free himself of the brats without raising suspicion. He's proud of his plotting.

"I have heard that you have a request you wish to ask me?" Hiashi asks later, after the dinner, when Hinata, Shino and Torune huddle together in a corner and conspicuously whisper among each other. Shibi is willing to bet that this newfound friendship is Ren's doing. Even Neji is hovering around.

"Yes, I do," Shibi agrees. "It might seem trivial, but I would be very grateful if you took my place as Team Four jōnin instructor for period of two weeks. My wife and I have anniversary soon, our tenth, and she demanded that I will help her plan the celebration. I hope you understand."

"I am a clan head, Shibi, don't forget that," Hiashi says, and Shibi fights down a eyeroll.

"So am I, old friend," he answers. "And I do manage to divide my time between my team, their missions and my clan. And you have always been reliable person. I would ask Tsume, but we both know her, and that…"

"Is not the best of ideas, and not because Hana is her daughter," Hiashi agrees. "Fair enough, old friend. For the sake of our friendship and work. I miss past times, you know? From before either of us had a clan to lead. I actually enjoyed our missions together, even if it meant longer periods of being exposed to Tsume."

Shibi can't quite muffle a snort. "Trust me, I miss those times, too."

He wasn't a sensei to two devils and one drama queen then.

"Also, how hard can teaching three children be?" Hiashi asks.

Shibi wisely keeps quiet. I asked that very same thing myself, brother, he thinks instead.

Shibi sincerely thought Hiashi to be better than… This. Whatever this was. He thought the Hyūga clan head would at least last three days. And yet, here Hiashi was, perfect hair in disarray, kimono actually charred and still smoking, and face positively furious. No longer than half a day into their ordeal.

"What is the meaning of this!" Hiashi hisses. "This team of yours, they-"

"Razed yet another training ground with fireballs the size of house and mini-cerberus?" Shibi asks, cocking his head. "Well, that sounds like regular morning," he shrugs, and turns his attention back to the catalogue. His wife tasked him with choosing the best dishes. Celebrating a decade together happens only once, after all.

"You…!" Hiashi, the Hyūga composure be damned, points a finger at him, "you knew?!"

"How hard teaching three children can possibly be?" Shibi quotes, looking rather smug from behind his glasses. "I asked myself the very same thing, old friend. And I got them. And lasted two months before losing it. And you have promised to take care of them for two weeks, no take-backs. I dread what would happen if I left them with Tsume."

Hiashi looks thoughtful, especially about the last statement. Remembering Ren and her chakra reserves (Hiashi is willing to bet that the girl had an Uzumaki ancestor three or so generations back ,there's no other explanation), giddily spewing D-Rank fire techniques left and right. He remembers Hana and her three dogs who would morph into one huge, three-headed beast. He remembers Hibiki who, after initial mortification that his own clan head is here oh my god what do I do started whining about his demon teammates and tried (and actually almost managed) to keep up. Worse yet, he remembers that ridiculous game of tag they got him into playing (Shibi-sensei always does that with us, and if we catch him, he treats us dinner). This is actually what got his kimono charred.

"Is this true that if they catch you in your game, you treat them dinner?" he asks finally.

"Ren has an appetite of an Akimichi," Shibi chuckles. "Did they catch you?"

"No, but it was close. If not for my Byakugan-" Hiashi huffs. "How do you do that, you're constantly with them and yet don't go mad."

"Practice, I think?" Shibi cocks his head. "But where are they now?"

"I got them a batch of D-Ranks they are to complete by dawn."

"They aren't going to like that," Aburame clan head says. "You need to inspire at least a bit of respect in them. Ren in particular, she acts as a leader figure. Hana has a lot of say, but she ultimately follows the Uchiha. Hibiki, though, has no say whatsoever."

"Uchiha Ren," Hiashi hisses through his gritted teeth, "looked actually happy that she burned my clothing. She's insane!"

"She loves burning things. I believe it's an Uchiha thing. She once joked that Uchiha way of solving problems was burning it until it stopped being a problem. Her cousin, Sasuke, seems wholeheartedly agree to this ideology, if dummies on training ground seven are any indication."

Hiashi looks sour. Sourer than usual. Shibi has to fight with his everything to not to chuckle, actually. He wonders how long with Hyuga clan head hold up until he actually does go for Tume.

(Hiashi managed to get through the whole of four days. Fifth day he already regretted his decision, as Tsume was equally as giddy about destruction as two girls.)