Chapter 6: Death is Expected
As the quarter progressed Alice's human started agreeing to go out with Charlotte or Charlotte and Alice in the evening. A few times when they went to places where there was line dancing or similar Peter would show. I was nearby in case, but kept my distance allowing the others their fun.
The human never stayed out past midnight, for reasons she wouldn't explain. For most of these encounters Peter and I would stand together against the wall listening to the girls, playing our old games of sending each other messages without words. And one or both of us would trail the human home, unless the girls left together, which they often did.
If nothing else, this campaign of Alice's had given me a chance to work alongside Peter in a way that was good for healing the past between us. Slowly we were moving towards something new, while holding onto the good of what we had.
For Thanksgiving, the human went to Forks, and, as usual, we Cullens went further afield for a long hunting trip. Except this time it was with prayers and hope that James' coven wouldn't kill anyone while we were away.
After the break, Charlotte remarked that the human came back smelling like dead rotten dog and she had struggled tremendously to not react defensively.
"Welcome to the odour that is Quileute," I explained.
She shuddered and quipped, "Good to know."
The Chief's connections with the Quileutes seemed to explain Alice's inability to see the human at times when she had been visiting Forks. It disturbed Alice to no end that she might not have endless capacity to monitor the human, requiring me to point out that the Quiluetes protected humans not killed them, and so the human was relatively safe with them. Alice was upset with me for my answer, but it was the truth.
A few weeks later finals were done. Alice and I were travelling back to Forks. Unfortunately, I had spent too much time around anxious excited hormonal humans without time alone with Alice and the energy was building.
"Can we find a spot and make them wait?" I asked my voice full of my need for her as I sent out my carnal desire.
"Yes," she stated after taking a moment to check in with her visions. "Take the turn in two miles and there's a state park. We won't be disturbed and you can hunt quickly afterwards."
"Good," I told her, sending her my appreciation.
After becoming reacquainted and then hunting, we lay on the ground with her wrapped up within my side, taking a few minutes.
"I should be more antagonised by the time Charlotte has with Bella," Alice said nonplussed. "I'm possessive enough of Bella and created things purposefully to have this time with her. It is not in our natures to share. I can't explain it. I love Bella. I want for her to become my best friend like in my visions. But more, I want her to be in our lives, even if it's by another way than being directly bonded to me."
"I don't know if keeping her from others would be normal," I disagreed. "The Cullens might only have one sexual partner, but we're still sharing our time with one another. Then there's the reality that Bella is human who needs socialisation, and at some level you know that."
She sighed. "The snippets of possibilities were so beautiful. Bella and Edward would have been blissfully happy. She was happy. And Edward being happy made the whole family happier. Emmett got the little sister he needed. I got the best friend I wanted. And Carlisle got to have Edward be happy, which satisfied Esme in two parts. In all the visions the house was better. But then Phil broke his wrist. And Edward doesn't believe me. He thinks I made them up."
It took some mental gymnastics to follow Alice's conversation jump. Suspecting these words conveyed a lot more than they did on the surface, I chose to let them slide, and instead followed her leap. "He doesn't see himself as worthy," I offered, as my suspicion.
"I just wanted Edward to be as happy as I saw he would be," she stated sadly.
"You can't force a person to accept happiness into their life," I pointed out.
She looked at me like she would figure out a way.
Chuckling at her determination to make Edward happy, like it was a battle, I reminded her, "But he has rejected being happy and continues to do so, despite the impact to the family." Hoping she would be in a sharing mood, I then asked, "What are your strategies?"
She paused as if reluctant to speak.
Not pushing it, I instead offered, "Any way I can try and help in the decisions to give you greater clarity?"
"Not yet," she stated after a minute.
Wanting to get more out of her regarding the human, I asked, "What do you see as options regarding Bella?"
"You biting her is still my first choice. However, that option will create a greater tension within the family than if she had moved to Forks and came into the family through Edward or me. You have no direct connection to them by venom, making her squarely a Whitlock, whereas Carlisle's venom would have made her a Cullen." She frowned.
"Not what you want?" I checked.
"I just want what's best for everyone," she said with determination, which meant that, yes, she would prefer Bella to be a Cullen.
The only strategic advantage that I could imagine is that doing so would keep Bella closer knitted with Alice.
Alice continued, "Keeping her in my life is primary, but so much has shifted. Possibilities that seemed likely vanished into smoke. Firm decisions haven't been made. I'm willing to wait, but not to lose her."
Her words and her emotions surprised me. She was right. Her reaction was strange.
"How is it that you're so flexible?" I asked, needing clarity. "You've seen her in your visions, even if you didn't know it was her for almost two decades."
"I don't know. I've thought about it over and over. It's like my vision of her fills me with such care and protectiveness that I would do anything for her, even if that meant giving you my claim over her."
Ignoring the argument about claims, since Alice knew I had no interest in claiming any human, I wondered, "How would that change things?"
"I can't see," she informed me pouting. "It's like her fuzziness causes everything about her future to be challenging to see. I can see her worse since she moved to Seattle. I can't see her reactions to being a vampire, a Cullen, a Whitlock, any of it."
"And if we do nothing?" I questioned.
She sighed. "I can't see, and the lack of sight frightens me."
Were the Quileutes somehow responsible for Bella no longer being clear to Alice, or was it something else? The chance that Bella had Quileute blood in her wasn't out of the realm of possibilities. It wasn't an enjoyable feeling.
I attempted to comfort and assure her as we travelled back to the car and then to the Forks house.
Winter break was the same as Thanksgiving. Fortunately, the Swans and Cullens never crossed paths, but it seemed like the odds were against us. Eventually, the human would run across someone, Esme most likely, or get hurt and have Carlisle as her doctor. Alice didn't seem worried about the possibilities, but her tendency to believe the only problems that existed were the ones in her visions was going to bite her in the ass eventually. A part of me was looking forward to it.
It was the day before the winter quarter started. Edward had gone on a drive. Carlisle was at work. Esme was in her office drawing by the sound of it. Rosalie and Emmett were enjoying each other's company. And Alice and I were on our bed side by side each working. Her excitement and anticipation was a great tone for me getting tasks completed, which was why we often worked like this.
Out of the blue Alice stilled, terror ran through her, and then she jumped out the window running.
"Problem," I told the family. "Help would be appreciated."
Esme was fifty feet behind me, with Rosalie and Emmett two-hundred feet behind her. Fortunately for us all, they had taken the time to clothe themselves.
When we got nearer to Forks, Rosalie stated, "I'm going to go back and get the Jeep."
"I'll text you our location as we move," I replied agreeing with her assessment.
Alice at least had the decency to slow down and move at a brisk human walk once houses started appearing.
"What are we heading into?" I requested of Alice, speaking rapidly.
"Edward decided to go to the gas station and get some gas," Alice stated like that explained everything.
Sending her encouragement and drawing up so that we walked side by side, I verbally nudged her, "And?"
Her face wrinkled and her emotions were confusion mixed with doubt. "He starts hunting and exposes us."
Esme and Emmett gasped.
After a quick assessment, the most likely explanation was that he had caught Alice's human's scent, making one of the visions Alice had feared come to reality.
"How soon?" I questioned, knowing that protecting the human was critical to Alice.
Rosalie came barrelling down the road without a top, even though it was drizzling. Fortunately, we were in a stretch of road with no houses, so we all jumped in without her slowing.
"It'll be close," was Alice's answer.
I started yelling Edward, stay in the car, while hoping my family members would do the same.
Three minutes and thirty-three seconds later the gas station came into view and Edward stared through the windshield at Alice.
"Best option?" I checked with Alice.
Defeat and fear were primary with hope gaining when she stated, "Pull in on the other side of the same pump. It will keep the camera from seeing Edward. Emmett at the back of the Volvo, Jasper at the front, Rosalie, Esme, and I between the Jeep and the pumps."
"Wouldn't him staying in the car be better?" Esme asked worried.
"Either contains great risk, but this has a slightly better chance," Alice answered.
None of this made sense, but then again Alice often failed at explaining herself properly.
Edward seemed to agree to Alice's plan, so we all moved like she had suggested and then Edward got out of the Volvo. It all seemed like it was for naught until he picked up the pump handle. Instantly, he went into a crouch, looked around like he was searching for prey, brought the handle to his nose, and inhaled greatly.
Alice stepped forward, limiting his movements.
He responded by growling in a tone to indicate that he would protect his meal, and demanded, "Mine."
In retaliation I sent him peace and tranquillity while pulling the bloodlust from him.
"This is not you," Alice insisted. She seemed to be also speaking to him mentally, and when he simply growled once more, she pleaded, "You must rise above this craving. That is the scent of Chief Swan's only daughter. If you follow it, you will regret it, you will not be able to live with yourself, and we will lose you. Esme would be devastated, Carlisle broken, and it would destroy this family. You must choose to resist."
He bore holes in her, but relaxed some, and then after another forty-seven seconds straightened up.
"Emmett put Edward in the back of the Jeep," Alice commanded.
Edward went more or less willingly.
Rosalie flashed a smile, and got into the Volvo. Esme went with her.
Alice got into the Jeep's passenger front seat, so I drove.
When we got to the house Alice demanded, "Hunt."
We all went with him as if he were a newborn. Everyone, bar Alice, radiated some degree of curiosity. After he refused any more blood, we all looked at him expecting answers.
"I truly don't know what came over me," he confessed and his emotions matched with a heaping ton of self-condemnation and self-loathing.
"Explains why Alice got a vision of the human," Rosalie huffed while she felt relieved.
"Can you resist?" Esme asked her tone expressing her worry.
He paused as if evaluating himself. "I believe so. It caught me off guard."
"The scent couldn't be more than half a day old," Emmett voiced his tone indicating his still present confusion.
"Please, Emmett," Edward begged.
"Sorry," Emmett replied.
Esme looked at Emmett and then Edward compassionately. "We all have come across scents that are more appealing than others. Your reaction to her was purely instinctual. No reason to be upset or embarrassed. You didn't kill her. Your family helped and we will continue to do so in any manner that would aid you in resisting your baser desires."
"I don't want to move," Rosalie whined.
Esme looked at her sternly. "We will do whatever is necessary."
Edward looked at Esme. "Thanks, but I truly think it will be fine. I'm just grateful she ended up not being at Forks High. I will stay away from her."
Alice's emotions emitted defeat at an intensity I had never experienced before. Clearly, Edward's decision upset her.
Rosalie's appearance changed little, but she was appreciative and her disappointment had lessened significantly.
"I'll warn the family of dates when she might be in town, if I know them," Alice offered.
That seemed to settle everyone, as was likely Alice's purpose.
They headed back to the house, while Alice accompanied me hunting, in order to resolve the bloodlust I had pulled from Edward. She took down one buck and we enjoyed each other physically.
Despite the lack of human deaths or exposure, for formality purposes, we had a family meeting when Carlisle came home.
Fortunately, after that drama, we were able to return to the routine we had established the quarter prior.
Alice's human went back to Forks for Spring Break, a week near the end of March, but otherwise stayed in Seattle. For that week Rosalie, Emmett, Edward, Alice and I hunted together in Canada with Esme and Carlisle joining us for a few days. Our luck held and once more there was no sign of James' coven.
In May Alice deemed it finally being the right time for the human to officially meet me.
The girls chose a jazz bar that they frequented. It allowed the human to eat while Charlotte pretended to drink alcohol and Alice soda. Peter, although a known commodity to Bella, kept his distance. From what he told me he kept out of sight in the apartment she and Charlotte shared, just like it had been in Phoenix.
"This is Jasper," Alice told the human. "Jasper, Bella."
I nodded my head in a greeting, disliking shaking hands, as it would be skin to skin contact, and had yet to master control of how that part of my ability affected me. Taking the seat Alice had set aside for me, Alice was on her left, Charlotte on her right, with Peter and I completing the circular table.
"Nice to meet you," the human told me, her tone conveying her genuine excitement with a hint of curiosity. There was a drop of attraction, but it passed quickly. It pleased me that she moved past the lure in such a short time span.
"You as well," I offered back sincerely.
Then, Alice distracted the human with something from their class.
Crossing my arms and placing my hands under them, so no skin above my neck could be accessed, I closed my eyes and relaxed, allowing the music to wash over me. Simultaneously, I focused my ability on the human. She felt affectionate and appreciative towards Alice, with a dose of inferiority and caution. The human's connection towards Alice was certainly in the friend department, but with Charlotte it was deep and abiding, albeit to a far lesser degree than a vampire could have. Her caution towards Alice reminded me of Peter's. It was as if they both had a bullshit meter and although it wasn't off the charts, Alice would never have their complete trust. Keeping my serene outward appearance, I couldn't help but feel proud of the human. It was an odd feeling for me, especially given my bare investment in this human.
What I discovered while searching myself was that even though the human was Alice's project, she had grown on me even beyond how Alice's feelings influenced my feelings towards her. For food that I couldn't partake in she wasn't half bad. Her emotional world was unusually calming to me, like when I had first felt her; it rocked at me gently. Although like everyone, she had moments when that wasn't her primary state, it remained so most of the time.
The next few times I spent in her presence, along with analysing her emotions, caused me to come to the realisation that what appeared dull about her at first was due to her nature to be content and accepting of her life. She had goals and dreams, naturally, but her way of being in the world reminded me of when I went to hear the Dali Lama speak, except her state seemed to come from insecurities, like she didn't deserve more, rather than due to embracing the present moment. Never minding the reasons, these emotional states were rare qualities and divine dining for an empath.
Then, there was the part where this project made Alice happy, Charlotte pleased, and Peter more settled, so I minded myself. Killing some random human every now and then didn't upset Alice very much, although she was disappointed, as would be the Cullens, but draining her new project, whom she insisted was her best-friend, wouldn't make Alice happy. And if Alice wasn't happy, she projected that shit like a motherfucker, making it difficult for me to be happy.
Each time I was surprised to find myself disappointed when my time with the human ended.
"She got to you too," Peter teased after the third outing.
"Nah, just enjoying the vibes," I joked back while sending him Bella's emotional signature.
His body relaxed for a moment. "Next time share that shit. Better even than those pot heads we came across once."
Smirking at him and the memory, I couldn't disagree and told him so via my ability.
Peter's emotions grew still with a touch of apprehension before he spoke, "Major, you might be able to lie to yourself, hide your truths from yourself, see your past unclearly, and be unable to let go of the military strategising, but you can't hide from me. I know you. I might not like Alice very much, but she's been good for you and you have bound yourself to her. Now there's Bella."
Growling in warning, I stated tersely, "Alice and I have talked about options."
"Approaching this from a sexual access position isn't going to work," he countered. "You might be an empath, but you suck about your own feelings."
"Alice sees outcomes," I retorted, disliking his accusations, particularly because of how they rang true.
Peter went to slug my arm, but I grabbed aobve his wrist where there was clothing, putting it behind his back.
"Yeah, yeah," he muttered under his breath, "your a coldass motherfucker."
Letting him go, I sent him my regret.
Peter's internal disgruntlement settled and then he spoke again, "Maria fucked you, clear and simple. Alice and the rest of the Cullens have helped in ways I could never, but you got to want to change, Major. Trust that if you're veering off path, I'll set you right, just as I did every time in the camps."
"You never need doubt my trust in you Peter," I vowed.
"Not everything in life is a battle, a skirmish, a campaign, or a war," he whispered sadly, and then sent me his cocktail letting me know how much he cared about me, and I responded in turn. We had been forged in a fire that nothing could break.
Bella decided to stay in Seattle for the summer, which assisted in the attempts to keep her from Forks. It also seemed to aid Alice's visions, as it kept the Quileutes from Bella. Alice and I chose to take online courses over the summer, so that we could travel. She went to some Asian fashion shows occasionally meeting up with Rosalie, as she and Emmett were spending time in Asia. I spent most of the summer in Canada holed out in a hunting cabin, but making myself available to Carlisle if James' coven acted out. Having no emotions to process other than my own was a welcomed reprieve. Even though I would never admit it, Peter's words had shaken me.
Spending time alone sorting out my own emotions seemed wise, so I spent most of the time statuesque evaluating myself.
My relationship with Alice was shifting. It was rarely stagnate, given her ability, and thus nature, but this was different. Bella's presence had changed Alice in some ways. A surprising way was that Alice was beginning to think about herself sexually. It was most notable in our foreplay, as she began requesting things for the first time. It was a good improvement for Alice. However, it caused me to wonder if Alice and I could survive as lovers. Unfortunately, I was a demanding lover that needed things a certain way. I tried to make up for that by ensuring Alice enjoyed herself. At the same time, I couldn't see myself staying with just Alice if she wanted a more equal say in our sex life. Maybe adding Bella or someone else would be the solution, if Alice and the other person were agreeable. But every time I had that thought, there would be Peter's voice telling me that it wasn't about access.
I tried to calculate more ways where I could be in direct contact with Alice's skin without raising questions with her or the family, so I could keep a close eye on her. Infiltrating her covertly was always an option, but with the psychical touch she at least had some way to say no. And I'd rather keep the covert option as a backup, especially since it took more mental energy, and thus made it more possible for Edward to see if he took long enough to remove his face from his own ass.
My connection with Peter was shifting and strengthening. It held less of the reverence towards me and almost all the fear was gone. Respect had increased as well as longing. He was also speaking against me more. It was uncomfortable, but spoke to our growth. Clearly we were both yearning for the other. What to do about it was another matter.
My connection with Charlotte was immensely improved. The fear was minimal and respect had increased. The time Peter and Charlotte had invited me into their company hadn't worked when we had been travelling together. The gesture had been sweet and thoughtful, but the reality had been unmanageable.
It had been after us hunting, them fucking, and then them returning to me. Charlotte moved away from Peter, which was in itself odd, and sent me inquisitiveness and placed her body in the submissive pose.
"Ask and I promise to not take offense," I told her.
Softly her voice tight she asked, "Do you miss having sex with Maria?"
A guttural laugh started within me that was half humorous and half erratic. It took me a long time to calm myself.
"No, I don't miss Maria's bed. Yes, I would like to experience mutual sexual exchanges, which lead to mutual orgasms. Consensual exchanges purely for the enjoyment of the connection are always on the top of my list," I answered eventually.
Peter sent me gratefulness and trust.
She looked bashful and told me, "After experiencing the other aspect of what your ability can do, I find myself desirous to keep you with us. It altered me, allowing me to see Peter's perspective, of which I am grateful."
It seemed like she was rambling. Yet, I appreciated it, as her articulation of her experience was valuable. Especially as it was a lesson to me to ask if there ever was a next time, so I could get feedback, and thus continue to hone how I leveraged my ability. Keeping quiet, I figured that she would eventually get to her point, as her body displayed bashfulness and she oozed nervousness.
"I asked about Maria, because I'm concerned that your lack might cause you to leave us, and so I'd like to offer," she finished in a rush.
My eyes widened and I stared at Peter sending him a mixture of emotions, asking him if he had said anything.
He sent me back fidelity.
"You didn't want to share Peter, but you're willing to share yourself?" I questioned allowing my confusion to be clear in my tone.
Apprehension radiated from her, but she nevertheless spoke, "A part of me, the part that you accused of seeing you as a rival, wanted you gone. But a wiser part of myself knows that what you and Peter share no one can break. Then, like I said, what you did altered me. He was in agony without you and we only waited as long as we did to come back, as it was hard to scout and find the right time without alerting Maria. Peter and I have spoken a lot about it, and he has explained that he serves you and loves me. He said that he imagines it like being a musician. For a musician the music is a part of the musician. The musician cannot love music or hate music. It is instead woven into the essence of self. He says that he is a musician and you are his music. He cannot be himself without you, but that doesn't diminish his desire for me."
His analogy was touching. The sad part was that it wasn't as true the other way. I was his maker and I had watched so many of my protégée die on the battlefield or by my own hands. So, I was confident that I could exist without him. Peter had wormed his way into me, so it wouldn't be pleasant, but I could.
"I want Peter to be happy, you leaving wouldn't be what Peter wants, and it's no longer what I want," she continued. "And I figured that you were a man who had needs. I'm not Maria, so maybe you aren't even attracted to me, or think about me in that way, but I wanted to offer in case it would help." Tilting her head to look at me through her lashes, she mumbled sounding mortified, "unless you don't actually prefer women. I just thought since you and Maria were a thing that—never mind shutting up now."
Silence descended between us as I weighed her offer.
Peter sent me heady cocktail that was mostly trust and fidelity with gratefulness and a desire to serve.
What Charlotte was sending out into the atmosphere was a strange cocktail of uncertainty, longing, hope, care, apprehension, and guilt. The mixture reminded me of the younger prostitutes I had passed at times.
"I thought you decided to leave your prostituting ways to your human life," I questioned while sending her curiosity and affection, so that she would know that I wasn't meaning to be offensive with my question.
"I'm offering because of my love for Peter not out of my own need for survival," she answered. "I don't see them the same."
"Fair enough," I answered and then turned to Peter, sending him my curiosity.
"She's her own woman. I'm hesitant for my own reasons, but that's my problem," he told me, his apprehension increasing.
"Would you want to be there?" I asked, taking the drops of fear that had started within him and sending him comfort.
He thought for a while before answering, "Yes."
"Let me think about it, Charlotte," I told her. "Your heart is in the right place, and I appreciate it, but my extra ability makes it complicated."
Peter sent me huge doses of gratitude.
The next time it was just Peter and I, after using his body in the way I needed, I told him, "It could always be right after I am my calmest."
"I trust you Jasper," he uttered strained. "It's not that."
Using my ability to enter him, there was no jealousy within him, although his feelings towards Charlotte were being strained.
"What are you afraid of?" I asked after determining that my ability wouldn't give me the answer.
"That the skin to skin contact will change how you feel towards her and what she means towards you. I cannot seem to help my desire to serve you, and if Charlotte will help you, then I am in support. If you are well, then I will be well," he proclaimed.
His sixth sense about these types of things had kept us alive for all the years we were together in the camp, and made him the suave ladies' man he had become.
"I don't want to go against your sense, Peter. It has never been wrong," I reminded him.
"If we don't, you will leave?" he asked, clearly disliking the idea.
"Eventually," I agreed. "Being the third in this way certainly cannot last."
After a meaningful pause, he told me, "Then, it's worth the risk."
"How about we try it once, and if your concerns are realised, then we don't do it again?" I offered.
He sent me his acceptance, but it held a note of apprehension.
When we returned I spoke to Charlotte, "I'm interested and appreciative of your offer. Here's the problem. My experiences with women are prostitutes from when I was human, vampire women Maria told me to fuck, and Maria, who is a demanding lover. I cannot come even close to how Peter treats you, while I don't want it to be like my past. Thus, I am at a loss of how to proceed."
She was slightly startled and emitted appalled. After a second of thought she answered, "Let me think on it."
Over the next weeks she would ask a "Do you like?" question and each time my answer was "I don't know."
The other problem I realised was that she didn't lust after me, and I had never been intimate with someone without that, even if it was too much lust from my ability that had overflowed, which I didn't want to do with Charlotte.
She suggested us start by laying together and talking. So, after a hunt we would do this. We each would take turns telling stories. Charlotte had the most from her human life, then Peter, and me the last, but I had tons of stories while a vampire, so it evened out. Peter was often behind her, placing her in the middle between us. This position seemed to give her great contentment, which was pleasant to me. She would run her hands over my clothes, while I had my hands on her back. Peter often had no shirt on during these times, allowing me to touch his skin and have my ability enter him deeply without effort.
Over the months our times together in this way grew into something sweet and my stiffness about being around them decreased while their reluctances diminished.
"You still concerned about skin to skin contact?" Charlotte asked me one day.
"Less, but yes," I answered.
"Would it work if we added Peter in me?" she wondered.
"Wouldn't hurt," I answered, seeing her suggestion as a reasonable next step.
The next time we were bundled together Peter and she were joined, which was kept from my eyes due to the skirt she wore. They didn't move their bodies much, as it seemed that simply their bodies connected in this way brought them great calm and satisfaction. There was lust there, but the other emotions were stronger. Closing my eyes, I lost myself in the emotions they were emitting. Unwilling to keep them to myself, I projected them back. Eventually the loop created from their feelings were overwhelming me, while Peter's called to me.
Taking one hand from Charlotte's back, I used it to lower my pants. The moment my johnson pressed against her clothes she opened her eyes and radiated shock. It quickly left as Peter moved, placing his hands under her shirt, wrapping his hands around her breasts, playing with her nipples. He moved his lips to her neck sucking on it, while gyrating his pelvis.
Charlotte eyes closed once more, while Peter locked eyes with me. His devotion was immense. He seemed to be asking me if I wanted to enter her. Nodding tentatively, he mouthed, "Lucas' spy." Understanding his intent, I waited. He started moving more and Charlotte seemed to be lost in the sensations he was creating. Then, he mouthed to me three, two, and at one moved her, exiting her and entering her backside, while I entered her. The feel of his cock rubbing against mine with only the thin membrane separating us reminded my body of so many things. The action also caused me to realise that Charlotte was the first woman I had coupled with since Maria. Although Maria always called the shots, our relationship had eventually grown into one of mutual exchange most of the time. This too brought its own memories that circled in the background of my mind.
I was swimming in Charlotte's feelings that had entered me, along with my memories and the feelings they conjured until Peter's hand touched my cheek. Although all of his emotions entered me, he had purposefully ensured that his emotions first and foremost were of a gentle emotional warning. Opening my eyes, I sent him my concern, and he responded by assurance. Charlotte seemed to be enjoying herself and having little emotional reaction to my ability communicating to Peter.
The longer the physical connection the greater the quantity of information my gift acquired. Was this what Peter's ability had warned him about?
I mouthed, "she okay?" and he sent more assurance.
Glad she wasn't harmed, I sorted and evaluated the emotions within me trying to separate hers, Peter's, and my own. Using my ability to enter her purposefully, I was able to note that on the top she was enraptured. However, her deeper feelings, especially those towards me, were changing, even as I observed them, in ways that obviously could damage her relationship with Peter. Unlike Peter and I, the skin to skin contact seemed to have strengthened her connection to me while weakening it to Peter, like she couldn't hold onto the one with Peter while adding me.
"All yours," I mouthed to Peter, and we moved once more.
Despite not releasing, I did up my pants, and gave some space so that her skin was longer touching mine, but keeping the physical contact with Peter.
The contact had shown me that what they had and what they had shared was even more precious than my ability's searching of them had indicated.
After she had climaxed at least a dozen times and Peter twice, Charlotte opened her eyes lazily, she asked, "Was it okay for you?"
"It was the most beautiful precious gift ever given to me Charlotte. You are a wonderful woman and Peter is lucky to have you," I answered.
She smiled demurely, while her top emotions had changed to include a tender desire and a near hungry compulsive wanting of me.
A few weeks later Peter and I were alone.
"Your concern was for good reason," I confessed, holding his gaze. "I did nothing untoward, but that seemed to make little difference. I suspect you are correct about my ability. I will tell Charlotte that we cannot do that again."
He sagged. "I wished that wasn't the case, though." He emitted a drop of fear mixed with apprehension.
"Thank you for trusting me," I told him.
When I told Charlotte that despite how well it had gone, I couldn't do it again, she was unhappy. It reminded me of someone cranky because they hadn't had blood in too long.
It took another four months before I told them, "I need to go."
They both clearly were disgruntled with my choice.
"This is not goodbye," I stated clearly. "The two of you need time as a couple without me. And I need to figure out who I want to be now that I am no longer a soldier."
They argued and complained, but oddly Charlotte more than Peter. Whatever my joining with her had done, it wasn't good for Peter, and his irritation and resentment increased the more she talked.
When I pulled him towards me, I reminded him in a volume that meant it would remain private between us, "You will always be mine, and nothing changes that. Charlotte is yours first and foremost. I never was interested in her like you were. That hasn't been altered." Then, I added quickly, "Me leaving is a gift to you as much as it is a need for me. When you're ready, tell Charlotte everything about me and us. If we are to be a coven in the future and stay together, she must understand it all, and be able to manage herself like you can."
Unsure of what to do about his resentment, I simply siphoned it off him into myself, and sent him my gratitude and care.
"Keep him out of trouble," I commanded Charlotte, starting to move away.
"Yes, sir," she answered, her tone sad.
After setting up a way to get in touch with them, I took my leave. 'This is what Peter needs,' I told myself mile after mile. I had protected their connection from Maria and needed to protect it from myself. 'It was worth the sacrifice' was my mantra day after day as I wandered alone. It was the same mantra I had told myself when Maria had been punishing me for allowing them to escape. It was still true. At least this time I knew what I was choosing to protect.
On the positive side, being around no emotions other than mine gave me time to learn about myself, and discover that without using my ability, and only dealing with human emotions at feeding times, my need for an outlet significantly diminished. In the rare times it had built up, I found an older woman, would fuck her, and then drain her. It was barely satisfying, but between that and spending time finding calm in the wilderness, I was getting by. Nevertheless, I had to find a way to be around vampires and manage my ability, because even though Peter and Charlotte needed me gone, I wouldn't want it to be for long.
Reviewing this memory made it clear how much I had changed since leaving Peter and Charlotte. More than anything I knew myself better. I wasn't Maria's Major anymore. I had gotten hobbies and learned more about the world. And Bella's presence spoke loudly about what a different view of humans I held. It was a good thing, as I was more comfortable in my own skin. I didn't need Peter to let me know when I needed an outlet. I regulated myself, even with living with six other vampires. I had more emotions that thirst, lust, rage, fear, and determination, and had improved in knowing the difference between my own feelings and what came at me through my gift. More than anything, I was actually comfortable in my own skin, had improved control over my ability, had learned new ways to use it, and had even enriched my capacities as a strategist. Yet, Peter had been right. Perhaps because of the inability to use my ability on myself, I could not speak on the kind of connections I had to others and my feelings often still eluded me. Analysing others emotions in order to keep myself alive was consuming leaving little time to do so on myself.
Nevertheless, it was easy to say that I was pleased with my life overall, and my capacity to get near to humans, particularly Bella, while my thirst wasn't my primary concern. Never once had I even come close to taking a nibble, even though both Bella and her mother were particularly appetising. Truthfully, as Alice's human and I had spent time together, she had grown on me. She was rare in her care for everyone else. She worried about others, even though her worry over us four was silly. Not to mention that she was selfless. Unfortunately, it had become more obvious over time that many of these admirable qualities manifested from great insecurities and a sense of inadequacy. Nevertheless, there was no denying that her emotional signature was incredibly unusual to find, indicating that she was a precious jewel, something rarely found in the world.
Taking the time to consider Bella, one thing became clear. Before I was even aware of what was happening, the unique sound of her heart had changed from being forbidden food to something worth guarding. However, I still believed that Alice's visions of her meant that she was destined for our world. The fact that Peter and Charlotte had also set themselves as her protectors further cemented my theory of how she was a siren.
Wanting to talk to Charlotte before the next quarter started, I returned to Seattle a little earlier than planned. I requested her to meet me in a spot surrounded by trees, so we could speak honestly. Naturally Peter came with her.
"We need a strategy for preparing Bella to become a vampire," I told them.
"She's not a war to be won," Charlotte chastised me.
Ignoring her warning as they sounded too much like the one given me by Peter, I continued on, "She doubts herself. She serves others in part from a desire to do so, but also because she believes herself the servant. She is precious to you and Peter, and I enjoy her presence. Insecure newborns might be good fodder, but that's not what any of us want for her. With support she is capable of becoming an officer."
Charlotte looked at me like I had lost my mind, while her emotions were a dual mix of aggravation and adoration.
Peter smirked and then teased, "You hear anything I said?"
"Only the parts worth listening to," I retorted.
He guffawed, but said nothing more.
Silence enveloped us for a few hours, as I allowed Charlotte and Peter time to mull over my points. They knew Bella far better than I did. If they weren't on board, then it would all be a non-starter.
Finally Charlotte broke the silence. "She took care of her mother when she was young. She barely knows her father. She has no siblings or family. Then, there are her coordination issues."
Peter looked at her and then me. "I sure as hell don't know how to fix humans."
Sending them my uncertainty, so they would know to disagree if they had a better idea, I suggested, "How about yoga?"
Charlotte looked at me like she hadn't followed my train of thought.
Sighing, I admitted, "In Phoenix Peter had mentioned that she was klutzy. While in Canada I did some research about improving human coordination, as the less she is bruised or cuts herself the better for me. Some articles mentioned that clumsiness could be a lack of awareness of environment and failure to be present in a person's actions. Consequently, I researched how to rectify that. There were many ideas, mostly dancing and sports, but knowing Bella prefers to sit and watch when you guys have gone out, I thought of yoga. It's meditative, requests mindfulness, and is body along with breath focused. It would also improve her muscle strength and such things. I admit to knowing squat about altering human girl's feelings without my ability. I was hoping Charlotte would have some ideas, as she knows Bella best."
Peter and Charlotte stared at me.
Glaring at them, I defended myself, "Got any better ideas?"
"That's a lot of dedication to keep a girl from getting bruised," Peter teased.
Huffing in annoyance, I admitted, "Can't very well have her be a vampire if I kill her first."
He laughed heartily as if that was the funniest thing.
Sending him my irritation, he finally calmed down and in a serious tone told me, "Brother, I don't know what lies those Cullens have convinced you of, but if you can stand in the pit with at least two dozen ravenous newborns surrounding you and not lunge at a bleeding human, then you have no problem. Maybe it's the animal blood."
"It serves me," I countered.
"I trust that it must, given how revolting it smells, but that doesn't change the fact that you have stood in front of Maria while she tormented you with bleeding humans, and never once showed a sign of weakness, just so she could use you as a model of what she expected of her soldiers." He paused briefly. "I get that Bella is particularly appealing. I won't deny my own fantasies. But I won't stand you talking this shit about yourself." Then, squaring off with me, he added, "Maybe your desire to strengthen Bella is really about you needing to get your own shit straight."
"Peter," I warned.
Sending me his abiding devotion along with distress, he offered to me softly, "If not I, who else?"
Charlotte sent me her affection and care for me along with her agreement.
Replying with sending gratitude to them both, even if it came with resentment, letting them know that I heard them and would think more about it, I brought the conversation back on topic asking Charlotte, "And overcoming her shitty parent stuff?"
She shrugged. "I'll see what I can do. We're taking Introduction to Psychology this upcoming quarter. Maybe that will help."
"The Chief is very taciturn," I pointed out.
"Daddy issues?" Peter joked.
"She'd fit right in," I teased, raising my eyebrow and sending them my mirth.
"Definitely need to move past that shit," Peter stated emphatically.
Smiling, I was pleased at them getting on board with my plan. I got approximately twenty seconds to revel before Peter asked, sounding serious, while his emotions were gleeful, "What's the name of this operation?"
"Peter," Charlotte warned.
"Bella 2.0," he uttered as if it was decided.
Choosing to play along, as a sign of appreciation I countered, "She might catch on if her name is in it."
"Right," he agreed. After a few seconds he offered, "Operation Advancement."
Charlotte rolled her eyes. "Good enough."
"Does that mean we're all getting makeovers?" I teased him.
He lunged for me and we vied for pinning the other. It was the first time since Maria's that we had wrestled, and thus the only time it was done playfully. Even the bombardment of his emotions as we touched was welcomed, as they were far improved since Maria's camp. The moment we both started reverting and Charlotte's worry became frantic I jumped up and away from him about ten feet.
Sending him a touch of her worry along with my comfort and calm, he stood up a nanosecond later, smiled slightly, and offered, "Good times."
Answering with a cocktail intended to tell him how much it meant to me that we could even do such a thing, irrelevant of how short it lasted, I agreed.
Already Alice's words that things were changing were coming true, and I was glad.
Charlotte must have done something in regards to Bella, because the next time I was with them Bella's emotions were more in turmoil. It was slightly disappointing, but more so, I was glad for her. Hopefully, her emotions would go back to something similar to what they had been, while the reasons for them would be healthier.
Bella turned twenty and then it was October. Charlotte, Alice, Bella, and I were all in classes with Bella and I in the same building, so Peter was nearby leaning against a tree keeping his perpetual watch.
Suddenly my ears pricked, his voice on the edge of my hearing, "Just passing through."
Focusing my attention on him while keeping attuned for any other movements that might put Bella at risk, I heard a high pitched vampire voice, "Staying long?"
"Till I decide to move on," Peter answered.
"You alone?" the voice asked.
"I enjoy someone," Peter replied, sounding nonchalant like it didn't really matter.
It was easy enough to imagine Peter checking her out in a manner that was meant to be charming and disarming. I had trained him well in how to use his body to snare in the enemy, and his womanizing made him particularly cunning against females.
Texting Charlotte, I warned her about what was happening and commanded her to stay clear. We both knew Peter was more than capable of taking care of himself. Without doubt my decision to text Charlotte would trigger Alice's visions, so I decided to tell her to stay clear also. Alice was far less reliable at following orders than Charlotte, so I couldn't predict what Alice might do.
"Ventured further west?" the voice asked.
"Nah," Peter told her, "not populated enough."
A few seconds passed before she spoke her voice even higher pitched, "You carry the scent of a yellow-eyed." Peter must have indicated something without words, because she then said, "They have a permanent settlement and claim the land on the other side of the expanse of water until the ocean."
Her words confirmed my guess that Peter had run into Victoria. It was hard to say if that was good news for us or not.
"I heard my maker turned into a yellow-eyed," Peter offered her, probably trying to ease her into trading information.
Victoria paused and then asked, "He scarred like you?"
"Not like me," he answered, his tone sultry and seductive.
After a moment she enquired, "You going to go visit him then?"
"Why would I?" Peter replied with a disgusted dismissive tone. "Completely unnatural if you ask me."
Victoria giggled, sounding like a young human. "They don't drink humans," she told him as if confessing some dark secret.
"You don't say," he replied with a tone like she had given him the juiciest tidbit.
He would be giving her all the signals that he was approachable, trustworthy, and a good lay. He had perfected that aura over the years in the camp and against the enemy.
Giggling more, she added, "They drink animals, which is why they need so much land. At least that's what they claim."
"Huh," Peter grunted like the whole thing was condemnable. Then, with a tone like he thought she was the smartest genius ever, he questioned, "You going to take their land?"
Victoria huffed. "They're weak, except that one of theirs is a seer."
"Oh?" Peter questioned like this was even juicier gossip than the previous one.
Peter was expertly skilled at knowing the right moment to move just that inch closer to a girl and how to get her defences down.
She grunted and sounding annoyed told him, "Yeah, my guy met her once when she was human. She was locked up or something. Had the gift of sight even then. He's obsessed, because she was the one who got away and he has an otherwise flawless record." By the end she sounded disgruntled.
I was appalled at the audacity of James and enraged by his claim. Unfortunately, my beliefs in a connection between James and Alice were validated, and the description of his obsession set me on edge. It took all my years practicing being human to stay in my seat breathing. To distract myself from my reaction to this information, I focused on Victoria. My best guess is that her approach of Peter was as much scouting and information retrieval as it was her looking to use Peter to penalise James. One of the benefits of the Cullens' morals is that they didn't play these types of games.
Oozing charm along with all the other skills Peter had, including his southern drawl clearer, he asked her, "You looking for a new guy, one that can give you the attention such a beautiful talented girl like you deserves?"
Hiding my smile at how closely Peter's approach matched what I would have done. Like back in the day, we often came to the same conclusions. It was why we were such a great duo in the camps and on the battlefield.
Knowing Peter, it was easy to imagine his look along with the movement of his left finger that he would glide along her arm starting at her shoulder to her hand and back again.
She giggled and sounding like she was flirting back said, "Would the girl you travel with mind?"
His voice dripping with authority and dominance, he told her, "For a knockout like you, she'll keep her peace. Unless you're the type that wants me all to yourself, and I could kick her to the curb."
Her tone seemed hesitant when she answered, "I've been with him a while, long enough to know that he doesn't take me venturing off well."
"I can take care of myself and have the scars to prove it," Peter assured her, adding with a tone meant to draw her in, "You're worth a scuttle. And your length of time together doesn't mean that he treats you right." His tone was a combination of sympathy, flirtation, and dominance. "I bet he cares more about getting back at this one that got away than keeping an eye on a mesmerising filly like you. A girl like you shouldn't come second fiddle. If he knew what was smart, you'd be the apple of his eye."
By this point he probably had his left hand on her cheek and his right hand moving up her arm.
"I don't know," she replied, her tone uncertain.
"Tell you what," Peter offered seductively. "Let's go a little bit further into the woods away from the humans. I promise to show you the time of your life, and if it's less than fireworks worthy, you can tell your guy that I upset you."
"He might find us together," she countered weakly.
He was probably already kissing her neck and pulling her into him.
"Then, tell him you didn't come willingly," he offered, his tone dropping even lower.
She giggled, but it was throaty and full of want. "He might not believe me."
"Oh?" Peter questioned without doubt continuing to pleasure her.
"I'm good at getting out of tight spots," she explained with her longing clear.
"Then, I'll just have to make it believable," he offered.
Only one set of steps could be heard, so I assumed that he had picked her up and was carrying her further away. Peter really did have a gift as disarming females and convincing them to have sex with him. After a few years in the camp, he had stopped using his persusive ways, telling me once that he'd rather them want him then be with him because he convinced them.
Peter and Victoria's voices were too soft for me to pick it up the words spoken, but less than fifteen minutes Peter's barely heard voice "Motherfucking whore of a bitch" came through. He must have been really loud for me to hear it.
Burnt the trash. Going to shower and change clothes. Came in via text only a few seconds later.
Took you long enough I teased him.
Next time you can rub your junk against unkempt goods he threw back.
Watching your rusty self was way more fun I disagreed.
You just have a hard on wishing you could have joined he shot back.
I'll leave the dirty work to you I retorted.
Unsurprisingly Peter said no more.
I would ask him later as to why he burnt her rather than turning her.
Texting Charlotte, even though Peter would have sent her something, I told her, He went to your and Bella's place. No worries needed.
Good to know she replied.
Even if that only left James and Laurent, what Victoria has revealled didn't bode well for us.