Ted Lasso has entered the fic!

Scenes and select bits of dialogue are taken from S1 (most notably E1 and 3).

The first thing Trent noticed about the new Richmond coach (besides his very prominent mustache) was how shocked he looked as he entered his first press conference. It was as if he genuinely wasn't expecting to see a room full of reporters and photographers all shouting at him to look their way. It seemed strange but also somehow oddly right for this ultimate fish-out-of-water scenario unfolding right before his eyes. Trent half-heartedly clapped when the coach was announced because he knew he had to play along like he cared if he wanted to get called on later if there was to be a Q&A.

Trent did not rush up to the desk to put his phone down for a clear recording of the new coach. He had his notebook out and at the ready but slid that into his pocked once Coach Lasso started talking because it was all so much worse than he even expected. Not only did the man almost choke on his first sip of bottled sparkling water, but he openly admitted to not knowing anything about football, nor did he even seem to grasp the basics of how the game ran.

Coach Lasso emphasized that he respected the media and that his door would always be open/people could ask him anything. When the floor was finally open for questions, Trent was beyond pleased to be called on first. (The prior coach didn't like him and never called on him, but it was always a toss up of whether that was because Trent was gay or because Trent freely ripped apart his managerial skills when applicable.) He managed to keep his cool, but he was internally thrown for a second when Coach Lasso said he liked Trent's glasses, as that was the first thing Thomas had ever said to him. Trent took off his glasses and thanked the coach—being British, some part of him would always default to being polite—but then he actively chose chaos.

After announcing his name and publication, Trent riddled off a list of harsh (but true) observances about Lasso's credentials, insinuating that none of them made him qualified for the job he was hired for. Lasso didn't seem phased, though, and asked Trent if there was a question in there.

With literally zero fucks left to give, Trent asked, "Is this a fucking joke?"

The room erupted in laughter around Trent and he felt like the cool kid for once, though that feeling didn't really sit well in his chest as he took his seat. He felt a slight pang of regret as Lasso was bombarded with a series of easy questions that flustered him to the point where he accidentally spit a second sip of sparkling water all over everyone's phones and the front row of reporters.

Glasses still in hand, Trent watched in amusement as Rebecca Welton scolded the rowdy room and put everyone in their place about how she was more familiar with the team than all of them and that the team had been profoundly mediocre under the previous owner. No one could argue with her there. Though Trent loved Richmond, it was frustrating to, more often than not, be writing up a piece about yet another loss. This season was already fairly bleak and the team looked to be on their way to relegation. Maybe someone from the outside was just want the team needed.

But how was anyone actually supposed to take this walking slice of twangy American white bread seriously?

Trent left the press room as unenthusiastically as he entered it, resigned to the fact that the back half of the season would likely be as disappointing as the first half had been.

To no one's surprise, Richmond lost to Crystal Palace in their first match under their new coach. Trent was surprised, though, to learn that the team was still celebrating with cake afterward. He was also surprised when he was assigned to write a profile on Coach Lasso ("Spend a whole day with him?!"), that Lasso was having the team learn a play crafted up by the kit man, and that Lasso—actual quote—"never really concerned myself too much with wins and losses." And he just so happened to be speaking at a local school the day of their interview. The article was basically writing itself. Everything pointed to Ted Lasso being a walking/talking target for ridicule and ineptitude.

Except that he wasn't. (Not completely, anyway.)

The local school was where Roy Kent's niece went and he was doing the appearance as a favor to his sister (which Trent could relate to). Ted Lasso volunteered to go well before the one-on-one with Trent was set up because he wanted to get involved with the youths in the neighboring schools and initiate setting up some programs for them through the club. Trent watched as Ted got kicked in the face with a miniature football (by Roy's niece—ha), bled profusely from his nose, and then got right back out there with the kids as if they were his own. (Trent had done some research on Ted prior to the day of the interview and knew he had a young son and wife back in Kansas.)

It was when Ted didn't shy away from Roy when Roy verbally attacked him about mind games and stupid gifts when Trent realized Ted had already started to work his way under the skin of the players with nothing but some well-intentioned kindness and covert leadership. When he rattled off a supremely brief synopsis of A Wrinkle in Time, Trent heard himself say out loud why Ted would give Roy that book—the struggle of the burden of leadership. Roy was Richmond's captain on the field, but Trent was very familiar with him picking fights with just about anyone (even people on his own team). It made total sense why Ted would give Roy that book—Trent had read it himself as he filled a shelf for Alice with books for when she was older, all full of strong female protagonists—and he wondered when Roy would figure that out for himself.

Trent didn't flinch when Roy called him a colossal prick, as he was used to being called all sorts of names over the years. Though he managed not to show it, he was taken aback by Ted asking him if he was hungry. He had been hoping for some more quotes, but certainly was not expecting to do it over a shared meal. Trent said okay, though, and went along with Ted to some Indian restaurant he hadn't heard of. They were seated at a table for two and it felt odd. Even odder was the delighted look Ted gave him when he broke the provided bread on the table. Trent meant it as a pseudo-peace offering, though he was feeling anything but peaceful (there was no time in the moment to process why).

Trent tried to overlook it, though, because Ted knew the person who was waiting on them. Ted introduced Trent as a friend to Ollie (Ted's driver at some point), and though it was such a small gesture in the grand scheme of things, it felt like a much bigger moment to Trent. Friends were few and far between lately. And though Ted wasn't actually a friend, there was an air of friendliness about the whole day.

Ted ordering for the both of them felt like being out to dinner with Thomas, which was both familiar and annoying. (It dawned on Trent that the last time he was at a restaurant alone with another man, it was with his husband nearly three years ago.)

But Ted ordering spicy food just to be polite—without ever having had Indian food before—was a huge mistake. Instead of owning up to it, though, Ted doubled down on his choice and put forkful after forkful of it into his mouth. Trent took one bite and had to stop. He wasn't the one trying to impress Ollie's family. And there was no way he would make it out of there alive if he put any more of that in his body.

Through the burning pain in his mouth and brain, Trent tried to get on with the interview, asking Ted why he left Kansas to coach a sport he barely knew anything about. He asked if it was just for the money and then called Ted irresponsible, laying into him, and saying the club meant something to this town.

Trent was wholly thrown off when Ted asked "What do you love?" He had a mouthful of water and couldn't answer, not that he could think of an answer anyway because the question was such a total non-sequitur. When Ted supplied a potential answer for him—"Is it writing?"—Trent had to agree because he did love writing. At least he used to. And it shook him a bit when Ted said that Trent was "darn good at it." Trent thanked him because even though he couldn't take compliments, his brain (even when on fire) knew to accept it anyway. Something clicked for Trent when Ted likened his love of coaching to Trent's love of writing—it was a calling. A passion. A never-ending quest to get better at it.

"For me, success is not about wins and losses. It's about helpin' these young fellas be the best versions of themselves, on and off the field," Ted said earnestly. "And it ain't always easy, Trent. But… neither is growin' up without someone believin' in you."

The puzzle pieces of Ted Lasso were sliding into place, revealing a picture Trent had certainly not been expecting—one eerily similar to his own. But instead of facing the man who was starting to evoke painful memories of Trent's own past, Trent removed himself from the situation, using his deadline as an excuse because he knew Ted respected the work.

What Trent was not expecting—but should have, if he would have paid more attention to Ted as opposed to the ignorant Midwestern persona Trent had been projecting onto Ted ever since he first set eyes on him—was Ted telling him, "I really enjoyed gettin' to spend this time with you, Trent."

What Ted said didn't make Trent mad, but it was disarming to be on the receiving end of such kindness when he felt like he hadn't earned it. "You actually mean that, don't you?"

"Mmm hmm." Ted nodded as he put another forkful of the too-hot food into his mouth without even flinching.

"Yeah." There was so much more that he wanted to ask, but Trent got up and slid his notebook into his left pocket. "Thank you," he said as he put on his jacket while he walked away while Ted replied you're welcome. Trent forced himself not to turn around even though part of him was telling him he should stay.

Alice was asleep by time Trent got home from the Indian restaurant, which was for the best because Trent liked to be alone in his thoughts as he wrote. He had poured himself a tall glass of milk to have next to him as he sat at his computer. It had taken him about a year after Thomas's death, but he was eventually able to use the home office again. Thomas's photography equipment had been boxed up and brought over to Thomas's parents' home to keep for Alice if she wanted it when she was older.

Trent had several pages of notes and quotes to pull from, as well as a rundown of Ted Lasso's career prior to helming the Richmond club. But there were all these intangible things too—the little looks, meaningful eye contact, and sickeningly sweet sincerity—that punctuated a day that went both how Trent expected it to and yet completely not at all.

While making his outline, it hit Trent like a freight train that he shouldn't have been annoyed that Ted ordered for them both—Ted had done that because that was what he felt was best for Ollie. Just as Ted didn't schedule the school visit because of the interview—that was already part of his day. Ted hadn't gone out of his way at all to impress Trent or make it seem like he was doing more for the people around him than he normally would—that was Ted being himself, flaws and all, and Trent was along for the ride to observe.

It very much remained to be seen if his roundabout methods to coax leadership out of Roy, or his nauseatingly positive outlook on the overall betterment of team morale despite (or in spite of) whether the team was relegated or not, actually worked. But Ted knew what he was doing—that much was clear.

There was a part of Trent that thought Ted was a fool for trying, but there was a bigger part of him that couldn't help but admire the outsider for already going all-in even when met loudly with opposition (Trent included). Ted was a lot smarter than anyone, including Trent, had given him credit for.

The article ended up being easier to write than he thought and he felt good when he submitted it to Eric. He was harsh, but fair. Factual, but also wholly biased. Trent had gone into the day expecting to knock Ted down a peg, but instead he was given the opportunity to reevaluate himself as a man and a journalist. It was both frustrating and refreshing.

Overruling his own initial judgement, Trent decided that night that he liked Ted Lasso.

"You 'can't help but root for him'?" Allie read from her phone while sitting across from Trent at a rare sibling Sunday brunch (their parents were away on holiday, so no Sunday dinner that week). She was over at his flat and they had ordered in from a chip shop down the block because he was still in the mood for relatively bland food after the incident at the Indian restaurant the other night. (He wondered how Ted fared afterward…) "One day with him and you've certainly changed your tune."

"It wasn't a date," Trent muttered as he pulled his hair back into a bun, securing it with one of several hairbands he had on his wrist.

"Date," Alice repeated, laughing as she grabbed her sippy cup full of water.

Allie's eyebrows slid up as she caught Alice's cup as it slipped out of her hand. "I said day, Trent. One day with him."

"Oh," Trent said as he started to busy himself with cutting up Alice's chips and fish into more manageable bites for a two-and-a-half-year-old. "Well then…"

"Have you been thinking about dating?" Allie asked gently.

"No," Trent said quickly as he handed Alice her special plastic fork. She grasped the neon green flatware in a fist and began trying to stab a piece of fish off her matching plastic plate. He loved the deep look of concentration she got on her face and how the tip of her tiny tongue would poke out between her lips until she achieved her goal. After she got a piece on her fork and into her mouth, Trent looked up at his sister. "When would I have time for that?"

"When you make time for it," Allie pointed out, picking up her own piece of fish and taking a bite. "So… Yankee Doodle wasn't all that bad?"

"I… misjudged him," Trent settled on before pouring some chips onto his own plate. "He said his main objective is to help his players become the best versions of themselves. It shouldn't seem like such a radical thing for a coach to care more about the people than the score, or even himself, but… it is." Trent took off his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. "His niceness is both calculated and seemingly effortless. I didn't know whether to be angry or impressed." He slid his glasses back on. "In the end, it might have been a bit of both."

"Wow," was all Allie could say. Her brother was not one to mince words, so she knew to take what he said at face value. All she heard about this new gaffer from Trent for the past couple weeks was how he had no idea what he was doing. Trent entirely changing his opinion of the man after one day together was some sort of warning sign. She just need to figure out what kind.

Trent managed to get the conversation off himself for the rest of their meal by getting Allie on a tangent about a problematic client. It was such a nice day out that afterward Trent suggested they take Alice to the park. He knew she wouldn't last long, but letting her be outside would allow her fresh air and properly wear her out so she might actually take her nap that afternoon. Allie nor Thomas ever had sleeping problems, but Alice seemed to somehow inherit Trent's inability to sleep during time set aside to do just that.

They got her to the park in her stroller because it was less of a hassle getting her across the road that way, but once they hit the grass, Trent set her on the ground and Alice giggled as she toddled toward an empty park bench.

"Well done, Niece Al," Allie said as she sat down on the bench and parked the strolled next to her. "Aunt Al is going to catch up on emails. But I think your dad wants to play Giant Alice."

Trent rolled his eyes at his sister while Alice squealed with delight and reached both her arms in the air, waiting for her dad to pick her up. He acquiesced to his daughter's wordless request and, with a slight groan, hoisted her up and situated her so that her little legs dangled over his shoulders. "The whole point was to tire her out, Al."

"You could use a nap later too," Allie replied with a smile before clicking on her phone and turning all her attention toward it.

"All right, Giant Alice… where to?" Trent asked as he held her legs securely against him.

"Treeeeees pleeeeeeease!" Alice said loudly as she clung onto Trent's hair like it was the reins of a horse. He winced, but this happened often enough when she rode on his shoulders that he had been prepared for it.

"Trees it is," Trent said as he headed toward the edge of the park where there were the most trees, bouncing his daughter up and down as walked. He smiled when she laughed, as it was easily the sound he loved most in the whole world. It was even better than when she called him Dad because laughter meant she was happy. And that's all he wanted for her—to be happy.

In the middle of trying to explain to Alice that there were different kinds of trees and that different trees had different leaves, Trent heard someone call out, "Why, Trent Crimm, The Independent, I didn't know you were a dendrologist in addition to an award-winning journalist. That is quite the résumé." He looked up to see Ted Lasso grinning and walking toward him, waving at the little girl on his shoulders. "I see you have an assistant for your arboriculture endeavors."

Trent tried to smile, but Alice's hand knocked his glasses askew as she pulled one of her hands out of his hair to wave back at Ted. He held extra tight to one of Alice's legs as he quickly fixed his glasses. Strands of hair had come loose from the bun his hair was in, but there was no way to fix that until Alice was back on the ground. Trent took a steady breath and resigned himself to the fact that he looked more disheveled than usual. Normally that wouldn't matter, but somehow right then it did.

"Hello, Ted," Trent said as he opted to put his hand back on Alice's leg instead of offering to shake Ted's hand. "My tree assistant here is Alice. My daughter." He watched as Ted's eyes betrayed that he was surprised to learn Trent was a parent. Trent tugged on one of Alice's legs as he nodded toward the mustached man. "Al, this is Coach Ted. He coaches the team that I write about for work. Would you like to say hello?"

Alice stuck a hand out toward Ted. Before Ted moved to shake it, he looked over at Trent for permission, to which Trent gave him a small nod. Amping up his already high enthusiasm, Ted took little Alice's hand in his and gave it an exaggerated little shake.

"Hello Coach," Alice said with a giggle.

"Hello Miss Crimm," Ted said as he bowed slightly. "It's good to meet you, little lady."

"I'm not little," Alice said, still giggling as Ted let go of her hand. "I'm a giant!" She shrieked as she put both her arms up in the air to make herself so much bigger than the peanut of a toddler that she truly was.

"Oh my!" Ted pretended to be shocked. "My sincerest apologies." Ted looked at Trent to see if he could get some explanation on the interaction that just happened.

"She's Giant Alice when she's up on my shoulders," Trent said, realizing how silly it sounded when the words left his mouth. "She pretends she's big like Giant Alice in Alice in Wonderland."

Ted nodded in understanding. "I got you. Me and my son do this thing called Helicopter where he jumps up on me and I spin him around like he's a helicopter. Anything for the kiddos, am I right?" Trent nodded. "How old's your little one?"

"She'll be three in about a month and a half." Trent hated saying the actual date out loud.

Ted whistled. "Whoa boy, that's a good age. Is she a lone wolf or do you have other kids who might be giants?"

"Just this one." Trent rubbed Alice's leg protectively. "It's just you and me, right Al?" Trent hadn't meant to say that out loud and he caught Ted's face drop a bit in realization at what Trent said. He was grateful when Alice quasi-corrected him.

"And Aunt Al," Alice said as she looked around from her perch to see Allie walking toward them with Alice's stroller.

Ted was slightly taken aback by the appearance of a woman who looked exactly like a grownup version of Alice.

"Yes, and Aunt Al," Trent said, giving his sister a tight smile. He knew Allie recognized Ted Lasso from the papers and the telly and was butting in to witness the man in person for her own sisterly research.

"Oh! Hello," Ted said as he offered his hand to this new person. "My name is Ted Lasso, ma'am."

"Allie Goodwin," she said as she shook Ted's hand. "Trent's sister."

Ted's eyebrows slid up with glee and what looked like relief. He brought his other hand up and shook Allie's hand with both of his. "It's nice to meet you. Beautiful day to be out and about, ain't it?"

While Ted looked over to smile at Trent, Allie covertly clocked that Ted was wearing a wedding ring before he let go of her hands and shoved both of his in his pockets.

"Yes, quite," Trent said rather curtly, which seemed odd to Allie. Alice and Ted were both smiling, but Trent's mouth had settled into its usual perturbed state.

"We were just talkin' about our kids," Ted said to Allie, actively trying to include her in the conversation. "I have a son. Henry. He's eight and back at home in Kansas with his mom."

"Well, if you ever want to borrow one, I have two," Allie said with a smile. "Jack is 16 and Connor is… Christ, Connor is 23."

Ted chuckled. "Thank you kindly for the offer. I'll keep ya posted." Seeing that Trent still had a sour look on his face, Ted took the hint and gave the Crimms an out. "Well, I'll let ya get back to your day. It was nice to meet you, Allie, and Miss Giant Alice."

"Down please!" Alice reached both arms toward her aunt. Holding on to Alice's legs, Trent bent down a bit so his sister could lift Alice off of him and place her onto the ground. Once on her own two feet, Alice stuck a hand up toward Ted for another handshake, to which Ted immediately obliged. She then laughed and ran behind her aunt's legs while Trent took this free moment to pull his hair down from the destroyed bun and ran a hand through it to brush it back away from his face.

"I'm going to start walking her back home," Allie said. "But you can take your time, Trent. I've got my key." She gave her brother a wide smile and then nodded at Ted. "It was nice to meet you, Coach Lasso. Good luck with the rest of the season."

Allie wrangled Alice back into the stroller and took off leaving her brother and Ted standing awkwardly next to each other.

"I'll let you catch up to them," Ted said, leading Trent to relax slightly knowing he wouldn't be stuck alone with Ted for long. "But if you're okay with it, though, I'd like to make Alice a treat for her birthday. I've been bakin' up a storm since I got here and I would like to thank you properly for that nice article you wrote up about me. So that'd be killin' two birds with fresh cookies. Or, biscuits, I guess. But only if you give the green light. I know better than to give another person's kid somethin' sugary without askin'."

Trent began to shake his head. "There's no need to thank me for anything, Ted. Certainly not for anything work-related."

"Fine, then at least let me do somethin' for Alice. A kid only turns three once. Plus, I just got some fun sprinkles and am lookin' for any excuse to use 'em."

Somewhere deep inside, Trent knew Ted was not going to take no for an answer when it came to doing this for Alice. Ted's own kid wasn't here to dote on, plus it seemed like what kept him going was to please other people, so Trent cracked. "Fine."

"Great!" Ted said. "Does she have any allergies or anything? Any flavors I should stay away from?"

The thoughtfulness of the questions shouldn't have been jarring to Trent, but it was because this wasn't a reporter and coach chatting, this was two fathers. There was a cosmic shift in dynamics between the two men that blew in as gently as a breeze but completely disrupted the way Trent had steadfastly separated his public life from his private one. He wasn't used to anyone seeing him as both Trent Crimm, The Independent and Trent Crimm, single father, except for his sister. Trent had never cared that Allie could see all the cracks in his armor because he had so heavily relied on her to help patch them over the years. But here was Ted, shaking his kid's hand and offering to bake her something for her birthday…

"No, she doesn't have any allergies," Trent managed to get out. "She's not big on chocolate at the moment."

"No chocolate. Got it," Ted said, making a mental note. "And what's the deadline on that?"

"Pardon?" Trent asked.

Ted chuckled. "What day is her birthday?"

"Oh," Trent said. "Um… May 10th. She was born May 10th." Thomas died May 10, Trent thought. He would have thought you were ridiculous. He wouldn't have been wrong, but he also very much would have been.

"May 10. No chocolate," Ted repeated. "Well, okay then. I'll let you get back to your family," Ted said with a smile. "It was nice bumpin' into y'all today. That kid of yours is giant hoot." Ted laughed and shook his head. "And I meant it, Trent. Thank you for the article. Glad to have you in my corner."

Ted offered Trent a smile and salute as he turned on his heal and headed back toward the direction he initially came from.

Allie had already put Alice down for her nap by time Trent got home and poured him a whiskey and herself a glass of wine.

"He's nice," Allie said but Trent held up his hand for her to stop offering any more opinions about Ted Lasso.

"Don't," he said. "Please."

"I wasn't going to say anything," Allie said innocently. "Plus, he had a wedding ring."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Trent asked accusingly.

"It means nothing."

"Good," Trent said as he took a sip of his drink and appreciated the burn as he swallowed. "He asked to make Alice a treat for her birthday."

"Oh?" Allie willed her face not to make any sort of expression that could be interpreted as smug. "And what did you tell him?"

"I told him he could."

"Oh," Allie said again, though surprised this time. "That's nice."

"If you say the word nice one more time, I'll ask you to leave and never come back."

"Someone like him would be good for you, Trent."

Trent looked down at the amber liquid in his tumbler. "Someone like him would be too good for me, Al."

Allie shook her head. "Miserable Spinster is not a good look on you, little brother. You need to get out more." She put her hand on Trent's knee. "And hey… no one is too good for you. You hear me?"

Trent nodded but Allie wasn't quite convinced he believed what she said. After all he had been through, Trent deserved happiness but she was more and more worried that he had resigned himself to being alone. She knew he used his job and daughter as an excuse to focus on anything but himself—and he knew that she knew that.

He also knew he had to be willing to open up enough to let someone else in, but he just wasn't there yet. How was he supposed to share himself with anyone else if he still didn't know who he was?

The lead up to May 10th was rough. Thomas's parents reached out to take Trent to dinner in honor of their son/his husband. The Nicklebys were kind people who had always treated Trent like family. Though they lost touch a bit while Thomas was in New York and the two of them were broken up, as soon as Thomas was back in London/Trent's life, his parents were too. After Thomas's death, they were still in Trent's life because they were active in Alice's life. Alice still hadn't fully grasped that they were the parents of her papa, because she didn't know her papa, but they loved her and she loved them so it was something for everyone to hold onto until Alice got a little older and could understand how she came to be.

Trent managed to convince the Nicklebys to honor Thomas the week before Alice's birthday so he could try and focus on her that whole day. Even with therapy and the help of his sister, Trent had a hard time reconciling that Alice's biological father died the day she was born. On her birthday, he wanted to celebrate her. He knew he was avoiding his feelings, but things hurt a little less when he could pretend everything was fine and that his baby girl (Was she though?) was turning three.

On the actual day, Trent was at Nelson Road for a Richmond press conference, which wasn't unusual. He appreciated being out of the office and he was still on fairly good terms with several of the other reporters who covered the club. Trent declined their offers to go out for a drink far more often than not, but he still appreciated that they asked.

Things had turned around a bit during the back half of the Greyhounds season, but relegation was still an unknown outcome. It was looking like the team would be bumped down to the Championship League, but there were whispers of hope floating around the building… something Trent knew not to rely on.

As he was leaving the press room, Ted called Trent up to the desk he was still sitting behind.

"What it is?" The question came out far more annoyed than Trent meant it to. He wasn't annoyed, actually, just super distracted because of the day.

Ted raised a concerned eyebrow at Trent but didn't say anything about the other man's attitude. "Don't think I forgot what day it is, because I didn't… but, long story short, Alice's birthday biscuits ended up in the hands of someone else this mornin'."

"Ted, that's fine. You didn't need to make her anything anyway. She's got a cake at home, she'll live. I promise."

"She might," Ted said, "but I will feel guilty about it for all eternity."

"Well, we wouldn't want that," Trent said dryly.

"Exactly," Ted agreed, completely ignoring Trent's tone. "So I'm thinkin' I could meet y'all at the park later. Uh, at a time of your choosin', obviously. I wouldn't want to mess up your afternoon or evenin' schedule."

Trent sighed and looked at his watch, doing some math in his head about what he had planned for his daughter when he got home. "How about… four hours from now?"

Ted pulled out his phone and checked the time. "Yep, that'll do just fine. Thanks a bunch. I'll see you later, all right?"

Trent nodded, as what else was he supposed to do?

After arriving home and thanking Alice's sitter, Trent got on the floor with his daughter to take over block-stacking duties. The higher the stack, the better, in Alice's eyes, as she loved knocking everything over and then laughing like it was the funniest thing she had ever seen. Trent laughed too, not because the mess of blocks was funny, but because Alice's laugh was infectious and her delight in destruction was so carefree. Trent couldn't remember ever feeling that untroubled by life and hoped Alice could hold onto that for as long as possible.

Alice had fallen asleep right before Trent was supposed to meet Ted at the park. He thought Ted would likely forgive him if he bailed, but Ted had gone through all the trouble already and remembered it was Alice's birthday (even though Trent had told him not to do anything in the first place…), so Trent gently loaded his daughter into her stroller and carefully maneuvered her out of their building and down the block to the park.

Though it wasn't officially summer yet, it was a pleasantly warm evening. Trent got to an open park bench a few minutes before the time he had told Ted. He locked Alice's stroller in place and took off his jacket, the hint of a breeze dancing over his bare arms. Before his mind could start to go into overdrive and think about Thomas and Ted and life and everything, Trent took several deep breaths. It was okay. He was okay.

He wasn't, though.

Tears had just begun to well up when he saw Ted walking toward him. Trent was afraid Ted was going to loudly greet him and Alice, but he could see Ted smiling and giving a smaller wave, like he knew he needed to be quiet. He was carrying a plain small pink box in the hand he wasn't waving.

"Is the birthday girl asleep?" Ted whispered once he got close enough to the bench where Trent was seated.

Trent nodded. "A little too much excitement today, I'm afraid. A full afternoon of knocking down blocks, reading me stories, and eating all the frosting from both her and my slices of cake."

"That was quite magnanimous of you to give up your frosting like that," Ted said. "That's the best part." He chuckled. "So, she was readin' you stories, huh? You got yourself one of those Mensa kiddos, Trent? You know what? That actually wouldn't surprise me at all."

Trent's mouth twisted into a small smile. "She'll be an early reader, surely. But right now she just makes up her own stories to go along with the pictures in her books."

"Oh… so she's gonna be a writer someday like her daddy."

Trent let Ted's comment slide, as it was easier than explaining she also had a father who was a photographer. Instead, he changed the subject. "I almost didn't come to the park tonight. Since she was asleep already and all. But I didn't want to not show up without a way to let you know beforehand." Trent knew all too well about someone not showing up.

"I would have understood," Ted said softly.

"No, I know. But I didn't want you to worry." Trent said. "You seem like someone who might."

Ted scoffed out a small laugh. "Well, you're right about that. But I get it… especially with kids. Things come up. Plans change."

"Yes," Trent agreed. "They do."

Ted handed Trent the small pink box. "All the same… I have it on good authority that these are pretty good."

Trent hated that he noticed that Ted was no longer wearing a wedding ring because it meant that he was looking for it even though he wasn't sure why. (Allie's fault, he thought. Obviously.) He lifted the lid to see three pieces of shortbread lined up neatly in a little row. "No sprinkles?" Ted chuckled again and Trent tried to ignore how warm that sound made his insides feel.

"There were. Oh, how there were," Ted said through a sheepish grin.

"But plans change," Trent supplied for him, causing Ted to laugh some more.

"That they do," Ted replied. "Can I ask you somethin' kinda personal, Trent?"

Trent looked over at his daughter to make sure she was still doing all right/to stall for a second. "You can ask… but I reserve the right not to answer."

"Fair enough," Ted agreed. "Last time I ran into you here at the park, you said it's just you and Alice…"

"I did," Trent said.

"Is it just you and Alice by choice?"

There was a long pause while Trent weighed whether he should answer or not. "No," Trent eventually said softly. He reached up and touched the frame of his glasses as his chest clenched. "I should really be getting her home. Thank you for the biscuits, Ted." When Trent looked at Ted to offer him a small smile, he could tell from the pained look on Ted's face that Ted felt like he crossed a line.

"You're welcome," Ted said evenly. "Hey wait!" Ted reached in his pocket and yanked out his wallet. He pulled out a business card and flipped it over. "You got a pen on you?"

Trent almost wanted to roll his eyes, but didn't. He pulled a pen out of his trouser pocket and handed it to Ted.

Ted scrawled a phone number on the back of his business card and handed the pen and card to Trent. "In case you ever need to cancel on me again. Or if you ever need a sitter." Trent looked at Ted like he was nuts. "I miss my kid and all parents need a night out. So if your usual sitter ever needs a break, I have references."

"Right," Trent said as he pocketed the pen and card. He stood up and held up the pink box. "Thanks again. Good luck with the rest of the season Ted."

"Thank you kindly," Ted replied. "At least I know if things go south, you're not gonna gloat. Since that's in writin' with your byline, I know it's the truth."

"I wouldn't have written it if I didn't mean it," Trent said as he slung his jacket over the stroller's handle and unlocked the wheels. Alice was still fast asleep, which was a relief.

"See ya at the next press conference, Trent Crimm, The Independent," Ted said as he shoved his hands in his pockets.

"Have a good night, Coach Lasso," Trent said with a nod.

Trent got Alice back to their flat before she woke up, none the wiser that she had been taken to the park and missed seeing Coach Ted. He got her bathed and they read some more stories together. They FaceTimed with Aunt Allie and Uncle Ant before Trent helped her brush her teeth and tucked her in.

Once Alice was asleep, Trent crept his way to the kitchen and poured himself a double whiskey. He called his sister to thank her again for the books and toys she had gotten Alice. He got choked up about it already being her third birthday and that sometime soon she'll know what else May 10th meant.

"Tell me something good that happened today," Allie said, which made Trent smile. "Besides chatting with her favorite aunt and uncle."

"We had a great afternoon, Al," Trent replied. "I love reading to her. And I love that she loves when I read to her. "

"Well, you do do all the voices," Allie pointed out.

"I do," Trent said with a laugh and then a sigh. He pulled the pink box from Ted toward him and opened it up. It only made sense for Trent to try one to see if it was something he should give his daughter. So, Trent picked up one of the shortbread pieces and took a bite. "Fuck me," he said through the mouthful of biscuit.

"I beg your pardon?" Allie asked.

Trent shook his head even though he knew his sister couldn't see him. He desperately wanted to savor the buttery biscuit crumbling instantly in his mouth, but knew he needed to swallow so he could apologize to Allie.

"Sorry about that," Trent said quickly, taking a quick sip of his drink. "Remember how Coach Lasso wanted to bake something for Al for her birthday?"

"Vividly," Allie replied.

"I was just having a bite of one of the biscuits he made for her and it caught me by surprise is all," Trent said.

"That bad?" Allie laughed.

"Quite the opposite, actually," Trent admitted. "I think that might have been the best shortbread I've ever had in my entire life."

"So he's polite, likes children, and he bakes," Allie said. "That's husband material right there."

"Apparently not," Trent said quietly. "He isn't wearing a wedding ring anymore."

"Oh, that's sad," Allie said, immediately shifting from teasing to concerned. "I wonder what's happened there."

"I don't know," Trent said. "I didn't ask, nor would I. He asked me something quite personal, though. He asked if it just being me and Alice was my choice."

"What did you tell him?" Allie asked.

"I said No and I left it at that," Trent said softly. "He can't know me, Al."

"Do you want him to?"

"You need to stop pretending like he's some sort of option because he's not for a multitude of reasons."

"I meant as a friend, Trent," Allie said pointedly.

"We can't be friends."

"Why not?"

"My job is to write about him and his team." Trent took his glasses off and set them on the counter. He rubbed at his eyes and then dragged his hand down his face. "He is aggravatingly easy to talk to. And he offered to babysit Alice."

"Are you going to take him up on that?"

"Christ, no," Trent replied.

There was a long moment of silence before either one of them spoke again.

"I'm worried about you, Trent," Allie said softly.

"Why? Because I'm not going to let Ted Lasso watch my daughter?"

"No," she said. "Because you need to start letting people in. So maybe you can't be best friends with Ted, but that doesn't mean you can't be friendly. No one outside of the family really knows what you've been going through these past few years and that's too much to keep to yourself. You've got to come up for air soon, Trent, or you're going to drown."

"You sound like my therapist," Trent muttered.

"Which means I'm right," Allie countered. "Look… I know today is especially hard…"

"Today is not hard for why you think," Trent said quickly, but quietly. "Thomas was Alice's father, Al, but she'll never know him outside of pictures and stories. I miss him everyday… but I miss him for her."

"What do you mean?" Allie asked gently.

Trent sighed. Losing Thomas was hard, but deep down Trent knew that he hadn't been fully himself in that relationship and sometimes wondered if their marriage would have lasted or if they should have even gotten married to begin with. It made him feel guilty and shame to think that, but it was the truth.

"I loved Thomas. You know I did. But I don't miss him making decisions for me, for us, and expecting me to follow. I thought maybe I would eventually start to feel a sense of freedom or at least figure out what I want for myself. Find a true partner in life and love someday. But since the moment he's been gone, it's not just my life anymore, Al. Any decision I make always involves Alice. So it's just been easier not to let anyone new in because then no one can disappear on her again."

"That's not a life, Trent, that's survival-mode," Allie said. "Have you talked with Dr. Randall about this at all?"

"No," Trent admitted.

"Maybe stick that at the top of your list for your next session, little brother," Allie suggested.

"Yeah, maybe," Trent said.

"I'm sorry I upset you. I just need you to know that I'm not saying you need to jump into a relationship or anything huge right now. I'm saying perhaps start with being friends with the people who are already in your life who you get along with. Maybe go on a casual date. Build up some confidence. Build up some trust. Find out what or who you need in your life to make you feel like you're the best Trent you can be. Because the better you feel about yourself, the more that's going to rub off on Alice," Allie said. "I know that's much easier said than done, but when have you ever half-assed anything?"

"Never," Trent replied.

"Correct," Allie said. "I love you. You deserve to be happy and loved, okay?"

"Mmm hmm," Trent numbly mumbled into the phone.

Trent was genuinely sad when the Greyhounds lost their match to Manchester City and were relegated. He was surprised to find himself even more sad at the thought of several months of the off-season with no press conferences. Afternoons at Nelson Road were so much preferable to being behind his desk at The Independent.

Ted's business card was pinned to the pegboard behind Trent's computer in his home office. Sometimes Trent would stare at it instead of fleshing out any of the book ideas he was contemplating writing. Trent thought Ted's handwriting had character. He had heard Ted went to America for a few weeks to visit his son. He hoped they had a good time catching up and wondered if Ted would tell him about his trip when he got back.

Trent spent many summer nights after Alice went to sleep scrolling through the dating apps on his phone that his sister suggested he re-download.

He didn't swipe right on anyone.