Hi! It's been a while but I'm back for the time being. I haven't forgotten or given up on any of my other stories, but I am focusing mostly on this one right now. I have a couple chapters ready to post, so I'll put them up every couple of days. Hope you enjoy!

Chapter 21- Transitions

The X-men's visit felt way too short. After dinner, Kurt and Clint continued their sword lessons with Kitty while Logan and Hank went over Clint's lessons. After all the exercise, Clint was too tired for dreams, even though he slept on the couch so Kitty could have his bed. The other two guests slept in the jet. After breakfast Dr. McCoy broke the bad news that they needed to leave. They were needed back at the institute. Clint and Logan said good-bye with mixed feelings. At least Clint's feelings were mixed, he wasn't sure about Logan.

"Farewell Mr. Barton," Dr. McCoy said. He gave Clint a big bear hug, lifting the boy off his feet and making his ribs creak. Then he turned to give Logan the same treatment. "Good bye, old friend. We will be seeing you soon." He entered the jet, leaving space for the other blue mutant. Clint sighed in relief to see his teacher go. Beast was a bit of a slave driver when it came to academic studies, which was not Clint's strong point.

"Auf Wiedersehen, mein freunds," Kurt said with a little more decorum, merely shaking Clint's hand before teleporting into the jet. Clint would miss the dramatic elf the most. He loved the sword lessons and comparing their circus experiences. He probably wouldn't miss the heart to heart talks though. Those are always uncomfortable.

Logan and Clint turned to the last X-man. Clint felt most conflicted over Kitty's departure. Sure, he liked having someone his age to talk to, and, of course, he liked showing off for a pretty girl, but she also made him feel awkward and nervous. Most of that was because she was a pretty girl, but some of his discomfort was due to her relationship with Wolverine. He wasn't sure but he thought he might be a little jealous.

Kitty pouted, hands oh her hips as she tried to stare down an unimpressed Logan. "I don't want to go," she whined. "Can't I stay with you? You could teach me like you're teaching him." She pointed at Clint, who held up his hands defensively. He didn't want to get in the middle of this discussion.

"I'm sorry, darlin'," Logan said shaking his head. „You need to go back with them."

"Why?" Kitty groaned.

"I'm not arguing with you, Kitty," Logan said. "Go back to the school."

Kitty opened her mouth to argue but Kurt reappeared in a poof of smoke. "Come, Katzchen, we must go."

She sighed but gave in, running to give Logan one more hug before following her mentors into the jet. She turned back to wave at Clint. "See you later, arrow-boy. We'll spar next time!"

"Uh, right. Bye, Kitty!" Clint shouted over the sounds of the jet. Kitty waved again and then disappeared as the hatch closed and the jet took off.

Clint looked over at Logan as he watched his friends disappear over the horizon. The mutant was as undecipherable as always and Clint wished he knew what the man was thinking. Hopefully, he had no regrets about staying.

"Finally," Logan sighed. "Come on. We got stuff to do."

Clint blinked in surprise. "That's it?"

"What's it?"

Clint waved his hand in the direction the jet flew. "No, 'I'm going to miss them' or something?"

Logan raised an eyebrow. "Do you want me to miss them?" he asked carefully.

"Well, no, but I thought…" Clint tried off embarrassed.

Logan shook his head and put a hand on Clint's shoulder. "Look, bub, I promised I'd be here for ya as long as you want me. We're in this together."

"What about Kitty? Doesn't she need you too?" Clint asked suspiciously.

"Nope," Logan laughed. "She's got better teachers at the school. You're the one who got the short end of the stick."

Finally, Clint smiled. Tension he hadn't been aware of until now released, making him feel a little lightheaded. "Na, I think I'm the lucky one. Bet she'd agree with me."

"If you say so," Logan replied dismissively. He rubbed Clint's hair the wrong way and turned to go back in the cabin. "Now, come on. Chores ain't gonna wait."

For the next several days, Clint thought about what Logan said, and his short talk with Kurt. He kept thinking about Kurt's suggestion to talk to Logan. Clint really didn't want to open that can of worms, and he definitely didn't want to be the one to bring it up. On the other hand, he had learned that Logan hated those kinds of conversations more than Clint, so if Clint wanted to talk he'd have to take the first step.

Finally one night after dinner, Clint tried to bring up the subject. "Um, hey Logan?" Clint began to say but when Logan turned to him, he lost his nerve. He couldn't do this. Maybe he didn't have to. He hadn't had another nightmare since the X-men's visit. Maybe they were gone. Heh, or maybe he'd grow wings. Honestly, the wings would be more likely. "Yeah, nevermind," he mumbled, hoping Logan would drop it.

"What is it, bub?" Logan sighed, crushing that hope. He crossed his arms. "We promised no secrets."

The man did not look amused and Clint groaned. Now he didn't have a choice. Logan would smell it if he tried to lie or brush it off. "I wanted to talk about, well Kurt said…." He slouched over and covered his face with his hands. "Arg, I'm no good at this talking stuff."

Logan chuckled. "Me either, bub. What did the elf say?"

"He said I should talk to you, you know, about my nightmares," Clint admitted. "He might have said we might have a misunderstanding about them."

Logan paused in reaching for his drink. "He said that, did he? What else did he say?"

Clint eyed his mentor carefully before deciding to just jump in. If the mutant was going to judge him, there is nothing he could do to change it. "You think that I'm scared of you, that you're the monster in my nightmares."

Logan nodded. "That's usually how it goes," he agreed.

"Well, not this time."

Logan narrowed his eyes thoughtfully before taking a careful puff off his cigar. "But I am in the nightmares," he said softly, npt phrasing it as a question

Clint nodded. "But not as the monster, you're the victim."

"And you're worried that you'll lose me? That I'll die?" Logan chuckled. "Bub, we've been over this. I'm damned hard to kill."

Clint groaned in frustration, and ran his hands through his hair. "Yes, well, no, kind of? It's more complicated than that. I know you're tough. You are so bad ass and I'm, well, I'm not."

"What are you saying, Clint?"

"In my dreams, in my nightmares, I'm the monster. I'm the one hurting you. I shoot you and you look so betrayed and disappointed and I never want to see you look at me like that." He dropped his voice down to a whisper that he almost hoped Logan couldn't hear, "I've seen it too many times already."

Logan didn't say anything for a minute, which actually made Clint feel better. If he had dismissed Clint's worries immediately without thinking, Clint wouldn't believe him. Instead, the man stopped to consider the situation, giving it the gravity Clint believed it deserved.

Finally Logan spoke, his voice softer than usual. "Clint, I've been around a long time and I've seen a lot of crap, and even if I can't remember it all, it's given me some perspective. I'm a pretty good judge of character, so you can believe me when I say that you will never be a monster. As long as you're true to that good heart of yours, you'll never need to worry about disappointing me." He stared off into the distance, but Clint knew that they weren't seeing the same things. Logan was looking into the past. "It would take more than a couple of your arrows to really hurt me."

Clint choked on a laugh. It felt like razor blades in his throat, but he felt a weight lift at Logan's words even if he couldn't agree yet. "I shot those men at the base. He died because of me," he argued.

Logan visibly shook off whatever ever memories he had been looking at and turned to Clint with a raised eyebrow. "They died because they were Hydra. The SHIELD agents would have killed them without your help."

"I still shot them," the teenager felt the need to point out.

"Did you like it?" Logan asked with feigned innocence.

"What? No! Of course I didn't like it," Clint burst out.

"Did you like hurting those bullies back in Colorado?" Logan pressed.

Clint hesitated. "Kind of. I liked winning and putting the jerk in their place."

"But did you like hurting that boy? Did you enjoy the feel of his jaw dislocating or the sight of him on the ground?" Logan asked again, jabbing the air with his cigar to emphasize his point.

"No, I wanted them to leave us alone," Clint answered. "What's your point?"

"That you're a good person, bub. You remember that, hold onto it and you'll be fine. If anything, worrying like this means you won't have a problem staying one of the good guys," Logan explained, a quirk on the corner of his mouth the only hint that he was amused.

Clint thought about that, and stopped to really consider his feelings and reactions. His mentor gave him the time, letting the night sounds drift over them. Finally Clint had to admit that surprise, surprise, Logan was right. Clint didn't want to let Logan down and he realized he also didn't want to become like the jerks in his life like his father or some of the worst of his foster parents. But if he kept that in mind, he would hopefully avoid that fate.

"You'd tell me if I start going bad, right? You're a hero, so you'd stop me from becoming like that?" the teenager asked quietly.

Logan reached over to ruffle Clint's hair. "Yeah, bub, I promise. But you have to promise me something, too."

"What?" Clint asked cautiously.

"If you have to shoot me someday, you won't hesitate," Logan said, his face completely serious.

Clint yelped. "What? Why would I need to shoot you? Didn't I just say that was my worst nightmare?"

Logan nodded. "I know, and I'm not saying you'll have to. Just if it happens, you won't hesitate to stop me. I've gone berserk in the past and I've been controlled by some not nice people. If that happens and I try to hurt you or innocents I need to be able to trust you."

Clint held his head in his hands and groaned. "Seriously? Why me? Have you asked the X-Men this?" he asked, floored by the change in topic.

"Yes, they know what to do," Logan said with a shrug. "Don't dwell on it, kid. Besides, I've got something else that I've been meaning to talk to you about."

Clint groaned. "Aww, no."

Logan finished his cigar and stubbed it out. "I guess it can wait another night."

Clint glared at him and crossed his arms petulantly. "No point in waiting now. I'm just going to stew on it if you wait."

Logan snorted. "True," he admitted. "Okay, here it is. I have to leave you for a while, and since there's no way I can leave you alone, I'm going to send you to stay with Coulson."

Clint felt his stomach drop and his head swam. His first thought was he's being abandoned again. Just like his mother, his brother, everyone who he'd ever cared about. They all leave him.

"Whoa, hey, Clint. Come on, breathe for me," Logan said. Clint realized he was hyperventilating and tried to relax. Logan helped him sit down and put his head between his knees. "That's it, there you go. Breathe with me, in and out."

"You just said that you trusted me, that you'd stand by me but now you're leaving?" Clint asked after he got control again. He hated how weak he sounded.

Logan sighed. "Remember how we talked about how many enemies I got? Well, one of them has a bad habit of killing people I care about and he always tracks me down on my birthday. You're not ready to deal with him, so I need to stay away from you until after my birthday. I'll come get you after we duke it out."

Clint swallowed, trying to wrap his head around the idea that Logan was worried about this guy. He also tried to not be hurt by the lack of confidence in him. "Where are you going to be if I'm stuck with the agent? Is he even going to let me stay with him? I thought we were staying away from SHIELD."

Logan nodded. He took out a new cigar but didn't light it, just holding it between his teeth. "I haven't cleared the idea with Coulson or Fury yet, but it shouldn't be a problem for a few weeks. I'll be with the X-Men, making sure Sabertooth knows where I am. He won't attack the team on his own. They've beat the stuffing out of him before, so he'll wait till I'm alone. But if he finds out about you, he'll try to kill you."

Great, Clint thought, someone else gunning for him. What he said was, "Why?"

"Who knows," Logan snarled. "We've been going back and forth for decades. Honestly, he's just a bastard out to ruin my life for some reason that only makes sense in his rancid brain. His hobby is killing women I care about." He stood up out of the crouch he was in next to Clint and stared off into the distance. "I don't want him coming after you."

"Fine," Clint grumped. "I'll go but don't expect me to like it, and you better make it up to me."

Logan smiled and ruffled the teenager's hair. "Sure, bub, whatever you want."