Knitting Fate

Second installment in Canon Patchworking with Uchiha Ren series

Fifty-Sixth Thread

•••

This chapter has been beta'd for you by hestia8693, who deserves sainthood for the sole fact that she didn't run away screaming yet.

Some people have asked me why haven't I updated in... Well, a while. There are a plenty reasons for that, trust me. First of all, I'm a lazy loser who needs a kick in the ass to get her shit together. Second is university - despite having Mondays free, I have lessons in the evening, but to get there on time I leave at early noon and I come back in the middle of the night. I barely have time for homework, let alone writing. Thirdly, I need to nail down work practices, 30 hours of them, and the only time to really do it is the time that I have free from school. So, basically, I suffer from the constant lack of time and willpower syndrome.

I do hope to write more sooner, but for now have a subpar character study that I'm best known for at this point. I just hope it's good enough you won't come at me with torches and pitchforks.

I'm not abandoning CPwUR. I never will. Fuck that, I'll write that from the other side if I have to because boi I've got PLANS. Well, not that foreboding, but Ren is going to say with you for a good while longer is what I mean.

(I might or might not be planning an post-CPwUR AU that goes 'what if Renee was instead reincarnated as Madara's older sister'. Actually, fuck that, I'm totally planning this post-CPwUR spinoff.)

CPwUR official Discord chat; discord. gg/WQ7mNwk

CPwUR official Tumblr blog; cpwur. tumblr. com

"Much unhappiness has come into the world because of bewilderment and things left unsaid."
― Fyodor Dostoevsky

0

Sometimes Ren wonders whether the canonical characterizations of characters in a show she'd watched a literal lifetime ago are even still viable, given that she is living it and interacts with those people in real life rather than what she had once watched hand-drawn and animated. Some parts carry over, but others? Not so much. Or maybe it is the fact that Ren met them at wholly different times than the show described them.

Kakuzu, for example, is more of a long-suffering mercenary. Not malicious, just... tired. So very tired. Ren can see it settled in his bones, that weariness and instinctive distrust in people. How long ago had his village betrayed him? Seventy years? Eighty? He might've been bitter once, but that must've been a long time ago. Now he looks almost like he's given up, only bounty hunting out of habit more than anything, hoarding money for- Ren doesn't know what for. He just does.

This is a Kakuzu unsullied by the Akatsuki, by Hidan's annoying, eternally youthful presence.

This Kakuzu is old, lonely, and too tired to bother with bitterness, on the verge of giving up completely. In a way, Ren realizes with what she's seen, the Akatsuki had saved him. Given him purpose and a push to pursue it.

Or, that's what Ren managed to figure out about him so far. She is actually pretty good at reading people. When she bothers, that is, which is almost never. She has to keep up her façade of knuckleheaded semi-suicidal moron – can't have people knowing that she is actually pretty capable, after all.

Does she dare try and steer him away from this path, from the Akatsuki? She did manage to successfully snag Deidara and laugh in fate's face for it, and Kisame is halfway hers anyway. Could she pull off something like that for a third time, especially since the two times before were more pure chance and dumb luck than anything?

She could try, and then even if she fails, she'd know she hadn't just done nothing.

She just likes Kakuzu, okay? There are very few people in this world that she liked Back Then, that still manages to positively surprise her now, and he is one of them, in contrast to, say, Hiruzen.

Sometimes, she thinks, her life Back Then, with all the bureaucracy and issues and history was both less complicated and more dangerous than the one now.

After all, there she was dead, and here – thriving. More or less.

The silence is awkward.

Ren isn't sure she even remembers sharing an awkward silence with anyone in this world ever since waking up almost four years ago, or just not knowing what to say in general. There isn't even a dumb remark pressing itself insistently on the tip of her tongue, just- nothing. Complete, absolute nothing. Her brain just screeches to a halt every time she tries speaking to Kakuzu, and he himself isn't really good at (or willing to, if she were to take an educated guess) starting conversations.

All of her bravado from earlier is gone, as if with a snap. Avengers reference not really intended, especially since all of it is gone, not just half.

"This silence is awkwa~ard," Anri sings from her spot on top of Ren's head, and Ren just rolls her eyes at the spider like all of those moody 'I know everything about anything' teenagers. "Just saying."

"I know, Anri," Ren huffs, and combs her hand through her hair, purposefully disturbing the summon. Anri skitters away along her arm with an indignant squawk and settles on her thigh. She can feel Kakuzu's eyes on her for that, because the hairs on her neck rise, and she sighs. She wants to strike up a conversation, of course she does, how else is she supposed to try and form a rapport with him? Via creepy staring? She thinks not. But how does one strike a conversation with a mercenary who tried to murder the founder of your village, failed, and got punished for it so harshly that he went in and murdered the people who made him do it, and stole their literal beating hearts to prolong his own life?

Yeah, Ren doesn't really know either. She isn't supposed to know about his abilities either, and while she is generally a moron and she acknowledges that, she isn't dumb enough to go about blurting others' secrets, even if she doesn't know how half of them work-

Oh. That. That might actually work.

"Actually, Kakuzu-san," Ren starts, gaining the man's attention – and isn't using a suffix weird? She uses them so rarely she honestly forgets she ever had. "How on Earth do your threads work? Are they a Kekkei Genkai? Or a technique? They're so cool!"

It's not even a lie. Kakuzu's threads are one of the coolest, and most underrated, abilities in the whole Naruto universe, right next to henge. Speaking of which, the sharpened teeth Ren used to tear into the ROOT agent are very adamant in staying that way, despite her having long dispelled the chakra. Huh.

Kakuzu regards her for a moment, eyes calculating, assessing – he's judging her, probably, looking for ulterior motives. He does that a lot, but in this case, all he's going to see is an excited and honest brat, because that's what Ren is. She'll even live through being called a brat in his context. He is, after all, a good sixty years her senior, past life accounted for or not.

(She sees him tense for a fraction of a second when she asks. Why?)

"They're a technique," he answers eventually. "A forgotten, forbidden technique."

"Huh," Ren answers eloquently. "That's interesting. Did it hurt, when you... um, you know, used them for the first time? They run under your skin, right?"

"They run everywhere," he mutters. "Under the skin, coiling around my organs. They replace most of them."

He says it in a pretty bitter tone. A side effect of the jutsu then? Ren wonders. Another few moments pass in silence, and surprisingly it's Kakuzu who speaks again.

"Doesn't it freak you out?" is what he asks. "Won't you call me a monster and run away screaming?"

"Wait, what? No?" she answers, rather confused. Why would she? "Why would I? That would only make me a hypocrite, wouldn't it? We're shinobi, super-powered contract killers and spies! You're a monster, sure, I won't deny that. But don't you deny that I'm a monster too, you hear? Because I am. I kill, and I like killing, and I get paid for it, and most people would find that lifestyle amoral and sickening, but I don't. I like it! I like slitting people's throats and ripping their throats out and cutting them open!"

She doesn't realize when she stood up and started pacing, throwing her hands up and gesturing wildly, but she had. Kakuzu looks at her, maybe slightly surprised.

Is that what has been going through his head? Was he actually afraid of... what? That Ren would run away screaming? Try to kill him? Because of his goddamned threads? What the actual fuck?

Then Ren suddenly stops, gasps, and looks at him, pointing a finger in his direction for dramatic effect.

"You're a fucking idiot," she says as if it were some sort of a divine revelation. Honestly, it just might be. This time, Kakuzu narrows his eyes at her, miffed. "No, no, hear me out. Your threads are cool. Like, seriously, amazing, and so versatile. Why would you be ashamed of them? Seriously?"

"I also have five actual human hearts beating in my chest," he says, standing up himself. Ren considers herself pretty tall, but he towers over her when he comes close. "None of them belong to me. I got rid of mine years ago."

Ren isn't even sure what brought the current conversation – and posturing – on. She had no idea that Kakuzu's abilities are a part of his insecurities about himself, that he is so self-conscious about being seen as a monster. She doesn't understand it, like the bull-headed, socially inept moron she is. She just, doesn't pick up on cues like these. At all. Ever. Hence why she asks: "So?"

"What do you mean 'so?'" Kakuzu growls at her, and she shrugs.

"Exactly that. You have five hearts, none of them yours. So?"

"Doesn't that repulse you?"

"Kakuzu-san, I literally sleep buried under spiders. I've seen and suffered more than my fair share of really ugly wounds and even uglier people, I'm a child soldier who kills for money. The only things I find repulsive are parasites and Shimura Danzō," she answers honestly, and he takes a step back, looking deflated somehow. "Really, if anything your technique is really cool. Or so I think, and you know me. More or less. So my opinion matters more than that of some random that doesn't even know your name. Well, that's what I like to think at least."

The look on his face is indecipherable, especially since he's wearing that mask of his, so the only thing Ren sees are his eyes anyway, and they are kind of cold, maybe a bit distant. Ren doesn't know if she's done a good thing and, frankly, she's still confused as to why this conversation is even happening. Why did Kakuzu, of all people, open up to her? He is an old, seasoned shinobi who's lived a long, long time.

"Why did you tell me?" she can't help but voice her thoughts. "You literally only know my name and some of my techniques. I don't get it. I just-"

"Because, like it or not, you wear your heart on your sleeve," Kakuzu says, interrupting her. He closes his eyes, and the lines on his face relax. "Yes, I have known you for only a few hours, but you're not very good at fooling people."

"Hey!" Ren squawks indignantly. "I'm plenty good at fooling people!"

Kakuzu rolls his eyes and, of all things, pats Ren on her head. She freezes, more shocked than anything, before blinking up at him. He just raises an eyebrow, so she shrugs. She really does feel like a brat compared to him, but- she's still confused about his outburst. Was it genuine? Is he testing her? Is it something else? Why?

"Don't you have your own mission to take care of?" he asks finally.

"I do, but the target is still a day away from here. Or at least I think so. Huh. Actually, um, will you help me take him down? It's just a high chūnin assignment, but I'm injured, aching all over, and frankly, not in the mood."

"Didn't you say you liked killing people?"

"I do! I'm just not in the mood to fight to the death, geez."

"Hmph. Fine. We move out before dawn."

"That's, like, almost twenty hours away."

"Yes. So use that and rest."

"Huh. Okay. Um, thanks."

So, it would seem that Ren's fate, at least on this mission, would be to remain confused. If only she could catch a glimpse of his thoughts, because so far she understands nothing of Kakuzu's motives.

(Maybe he is looking for someone he can trust.)

"Why are you putting up with me?" Ren asks finally, because she can no longer help it. "You let me follow you, you agree to fight with me, you spend time with me, you listen to me yap about my life, and not once have you snapped at me. Hell, I called you an idiot! I know I'm annoying, so why?"

Your temper is a thing of legends, why haven't you killed me yet, money or no?

"You're not that annoying," Kakuzu tells her, as if that explains everything. It doesn't.

Ren just gawks at him. That's not something anyone would say about her, at least not anyone who knows her.

All the way back in Fire Country, in the Inuzuka Compound in Konoha, Hana sneezes all of a sudden, so hard she almost drops her tea, and narrows her eyes.

"Damnit, Ren," she mutters. "I don't know what you did this time, but Sage help me if it's anything like most other times. And Sage help you. Mostly you, actually."

(A sense of dread so foreboding hits Ren, enough so that it paralyzes her for a moment, garnering an odd look from Kakuzu.)