Knitting Fate
Second installment in Canon Patchworking with Uchiha Ren series
Fifty-Seventh Thread
•••
This chapter has been beta'd for you by hestia8693, who deserves sainthood for the sole fact that she didn't run away screaming yet.
I have nothing to say for myself. I'm more disappointed in my work ethic than you are, trust me.
All the best in New Year and Merry Late Christmas. Mine sucked, but that's what you get when you're an atheist in near-fanatic Christian family.
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"A little thought and a little kindness are often worth more than a great deal of money."
― John Ruskin
0
They stay in the encampment for an extended break, for which Ren is very thankful. She applies various experimental herbal mixtures made by Takuya-sensei, along with some that Hana had made her pack, onto her stitched wounds, bandages them, and just rests for the rest of the time there. She manages to sharpen both her katana and her tantō, using the traditional water-and-whetstone technique she'd picked up from a scroll, and stalking some smiths around the village during some stealth training disguised as a game with the brats. The technique was efficient, looked badass, and required precision.
Everyone learned something in the end, and Naruto won the game, of course. Even at her current level, Ren had little hope of victory against a ten-year-old who notoriously evaded ANBU – though he hasn't pranked them.
Yet.
If someone could put the fear of god in those smug, animal-masked bastards, it was definitely Naruto. Jounin HQ already suffered his wrath once, after he heard some nobody that canon hadn't even been bothered to mention make a snide remark about Genma, when he had one of his downer episodes. The Hokage is a fuck and likes sending Genma on delicate but mentally taxing missions.
The extra even apologized the next day, so swift was Naruto's retribution. Ren was so proud that she made him ramen, which was deemed to be almost as good as Ichiraku's, which meant she did a damn good job. And then she had the kids trap Genma in a cuddle pile as she made him some pumpkin soup.
And speaking of kitchen work, Ren only recently felt brave enough to give baking Red Velvet Cake a try – with ingredients she never used before and had no way of knowing would turn out well. It came out... acceptable. Neither good, nor bad, but Ren was proud of it.
Proud enough, in fact, to offer Kakuzu a piece. That, and she knows that tempting anything with food is one of surest ways to get on its good side – although the fact that she even has some with her is because of her massive sweet tooth. It should be a nice respite after how disastrous the mission had turned out before even really beginning.
"Here," she tells Kakuzu, handing him a slice of the cake. He eyes it suspiciously for a moment, but Ren pays him little mind, too busy inhaling her own piece. By the time she's done, he's cautiously eating it, so Ren counts it as a win.
And so they stay at the camp, and they talk. Well, Ren talks, Kakuzu largely just grumbles in response and occasionally sends her a withering look. It's only after she asks him about handling her clan's finances – which are mostly frozen ever since the Massacre, because Ren has absolutely no fucking clue how to manage such a large amount of assets complete with investments and real estates and they were meant to wait for Sasuke anyway, but the smug little fucker all but legally abdicated in her face and only waited to become thirteen to fully sign all rights over to her – that an active debate starts between her and Kakuzu. Ren racks her brain as best as she can about everything she read about the Uchiha finances and assets, dutifully jotting down notes about everything Kakuzu tells her. In a way, it reminds her of university, back when she'd been trying to pursue literature instead of just throwing it all away to go fully into the police force. Kakuzu has some ideas she probably could have reached on her own, eventually, after long evenings spent stressing over the papers, and some ideas she would honestly never have thought about that now seemed perfectly obvious. He has a talent for these kinds of things – as much as he is a frightening shinobi, he'd make an even more frightening bureaucrat. Not anyone Ren would like to cross in either life, or ever.
She is so glad they are on friendly-ish terms right now, previous severe spook with ROOT puppet or no. In retrospect, it was actually worth it – Ren managed to not only form a semi-positive (or so she hoped) relationship with Kakuzu, she even got some financial advice! And Jashin knows she needs it – the only finances she had to worry about before were rent, bills, and life from a much less sizable paycheck than what she has now. Once, she lived on a monthly salary equal to more or less ninety-five thousand Ryō – right now, the pay for one B-Rank assassination is between one and two hundred Ryō, and if she takes on an A-Rank, it could even go up to a million.
So yes, between paying rent, feeding the brats, and occasionally going on a shopping spree for tools or cooking ingredients, Ren already has more money than what she knows what to do with. Add to that the wealth of a collective of hundreds of clan members, many of whom were either high-profile shinobi (who, without Obito's help, Itachi would never be able to bring down, genius or no) or people with their own businesses.
Just the numbers she operates within makes her head spin.
But Kakuzu is a patient teacher when it comes to money. Or when someone obviously, eagerly, and somewhat desperately wants to learn. That, or maybe he knows he is saving Ren quite a bit of stress and maybe a few sleepless nights and just took pity on her.
While it was slow and progressive and oftentimes took a lot of trial and error, Ren was more than capable of realizing that in some things she was an absolutely pathetic loser. Not a sore one, just pathetic. And so, she scratched down on a fresh scroll as Kakuzu droned on about financial sharks and how to avoid them, her own recipe for success in a code only she could decipher.
Or not. But that sounded way cooler than 'chicken scratch that was legible only to Ren and even that barely at times', but kanji are difficult so bite her. Besides, it's nicely color coded!
They move out before dawn, Ren's wounds re-dressed and equipment either fixed or replaced. She's not even that sore anymore, and it's only now, running next to Kakuzu, that she realizes just how stressed she's been the past few days. Moving is easier, her body feels lighter, there's no urge to look over her shoulder every two seconds to make sure there's not a kunai heading for her spine.
It feels great, to be honest, with the ROOT puppet's body sealed in a scroll in her pocket, instead of running next to her, alive. It's freeing – being without the very constant, very real, and very near threat of death.
Now she can focus on the target once more. Tanaka Akifumi, high-level chūnin, weapon specialist. Think Tenten on steroids, quite probably, and too much of a bother for Ren to rejoice at the prospect of fighting him after the recent spook. But she is with Kakuzu, and that really skyrockets her survival chance now. She is happy, and Kakuzu seems to almost like her even.
"Okay, we should be getting close," Ren says eventually as they run through the woods-lake-swampland-something that makes most of Taki's scenery. "He has an outpost he operates from, I don't know why but he coordinates common bandits, usually targeting civilians."
"If that's the case, why would a shinobi village care? More so, why would Konoha, instead of Taki?" Kakuzu asks evenly.
"No clue? But his goons attacked some people at the border, Fire country citizens, and so they went to Konoha, instead of Taki – or maybe Taki just didn't care?"
"Huh, disregarding civilians does sound like something they would do," Kakuzu agrees unhappily. "Especially if they don't have enough money, and people attacked by bandits wouldn't, I'd assume."
"That's fair," Ren nods. "Hey, we can loot their hideout after we wipe them out. See if they don't have valuable stuff there."
"And what, give them back to people?" Kakuzu snarks.
"Bullshit! No, I don't like civvies enough to do anything remotely like that. You can have the money, though."
"Fine by me."
"Of course it's fine by you, it's money."
"What was that?"
"You're an old, greedy miser! But don't worry, that's a part of your charm."
"Brat!"
"What?! Tell me I'm wrong!"
They reach the outpost sometime past noon. It's hidden among the foliage, fortified against disgruntled civilians who might eventually take up arms against him – though not trained shinobi, at least from the outside. Tanaka most likely is banking on the bandits to stick to the civilians and stay out of shinobi's way – probably never planned on attacking Fire country merchants. And while Ren isn't particularly itching for a fight, she is more than ready for it.
She's always ready or a fight, no matter how she feels.
"Let's see then," Ren says, hidden in the foliage and behind some low-grade genjutsu that Kakuzu had woven, as she flies through some very familiar hand signs. Seconds later, spiders spill from her open sleeves like eight-legged marbles. It's nobody she knows, nobody that can speak, even – just the lowest-grade fodder from Jōren Falls, glorified regular spiders just like Awai and Ōjo, whom she left back home to keep an eye on Danzō. Although everybody knows by now that it could only be that good.
Spiders are not a foolproof informant network, as she has proven, but they are less fallible than a human one, so it's the best she has anyway.
"These are useful," Kakuzu remarks approvingly, and Ren grins at him. He rolls his eyes, and she can't help but chuckle at it.
"They should be done in an hour or something, survey the place for traps and stuff. Do we go in as soon as they're done?"
"Depends on what they find," Kakuzu says, cozying himself up on the branch. "Wake me up when they're done."
Ren just splutters, but he's already asleep and that's a skill she can admire. She sighs, shaking her head. "You're so lucky I like you, or I'd fucking push you off," she mutters under her breath, but sits cross-legged on her part of her branch anyway, falling into a meditative state. She won't try tapping on the flow of nature chakra, but she might as well get better at sensing and differentiating it from that of humans
The spiders – most of them, anyway – return within the hour, relaying to her what they had found. By no means is it a shinobi-scale operation – just some guy trying to make a marauding career out of robbing civilians, but there are two genin nukenin-hopefuls with him. A nuisance, more than anything, at Ren's level and with her current company.
"Yo, 'Kuzu, rise and shine~"
"What?" he snaps.
"Just the target and two genin wannabes, not much in the way of traps – tripwire and logs and that's it," she explains. "Do we go in?"
"Might as well," Kakuzu says, waving off the genjutsu, and drops down. Ren can only sigh and follow, because she feels like shit and wants a part of the carnage. She realizes that the shinobi mindset is sick compared to what she'd been raised in, but here, in a society that accepts murder as a perfectly acceptable source of income, she finds it therapeutic. The murdering, that is.
And she needs it after that last spook. Fucking Danzō.
(Not to mention just how fucked up the Shinobi World is when one gains an actual perspective. Except Ren thinks she might have sociopathic tendencies – otherwise, how in the fucking hell had she assimilated so fast from a policewoman in a world that frowns upon murder in any way into a child assassin genuinely enjoying her job?)
They move easily through the muddy terrain and foliage, their footsteps silent thanks to the chakra-laced soles of their shoes. The bandits on the outlook didn't even see them, taken out by well-thrown kunai. The traps inside are only tripwire and pit traps – they evade all of them easily.
Tanaka Arifumi makes a surprised noise when they burst in, managing to stand up as his chair clatters to the ground, but that was all he has time to do. Black threads spring forward, wrapping around Tanaka's neck, and tightens, executing what must have been an impressively strong grip. There is a sickening crunch, and the target convulses for only a couple of seconds, before stilling completely. Like a mouse in a trap, quick, efficient, ruthless, and a hundred percent deadly.
"Hey!" Ren squawks. "Rude! Leaving me just the small fries!"
Kakuzu looks at her and narrows his eyes, and Ren knows, she just knows, because she would do that, too- and sure enough, threads shoot towards the two nukenin-hopefuls and wring their necks too, before either of them – or Ren, for that matter – can really react.
"Or you could also do that," Ren says after a few more seconds. "Killjoy."
"You said you weren't in the mood to fight," Kakuzu answers her smugly. Bastard.
"Yeah, but it wouldn't be much of a fight!" she argues. "They were genin, I'm a tokujō!"
"First come, first serve."
"Fucking bastard. Be glad I like you, or I wouldn't share the rest of the cake!"
"Oh no, what would I do then," Kakuzu says flatly, looking Ren straight in the eye. She can't help but laugh, and he probably smiles under his mask, too.
His eyes definitely soften to almost the fond exasperation she sees on Hana and Genma so often.
"Doku Romi, then?" she asks, because this is her mission, but that target is important. Danzō wants to get all buddy-buddy with her, so it's imperative that Ren ends her life, once and for all.
"Indeed," Kakuzu says.
They have a week before they really need to hoof it to where she's at – her and ROOT puppet's mission coincided only that much. So, to avoid suspicion and making people worry, Ren scribbles on a piece of paper, as neatly as she can, a short missive to the Hokage.
'Target is away, whereabouts unknown. Will wait until contact and proceed with mission as planned.'
Or something. They don't need to know that she's out there with one of the most infamous nukenin of the time, one who tried to kill the Shōdai no less, cozying herself in the now-cleared hideout of her definitely dead and not at all away target, waiting to foil one of the many plans of Konoha's worst plague.
There are worse ways to spend time. She herself learns that Kakuzu does, in fact, have a massive sweet tooth, of all things, but hates red beans. Ren hates them, too, so it works out fine. She teaches him how to make apple pie and peach cobbler, and makes enough muffins to send to Kisame. For the sake of keeping up appearances, she refrains from sending any to the brats.
She was, after all, supposed to be sulking alone in the wilderness, waiting for her target to come back to his hideout, instead of taking over the limited kitchen of said hideout and going on a baking spree.