"Now, where are we?" I asked as the Doctor and I stepped out of the TARDIS to take a look around.
"I don't know," he said after a quick glance around and I shot him an unbelieving look.
"Are you sure? Because that's what you said last time with the Sontarans. I know you love mysteries but sometimes you can just tell me the truth," I teased.
"I sincerely don't know where we are. Cross my hearts," he said and did the motion with both hands which made me laugh.
"I guess we go for the other option," I said as I held my hand out to him and wiggled my fingers invitingly. He grinned at me widely before taking my extended hand though he tucked it into his elbow instead of just holding my hand like I expected.
"Exploring. My favourite," he said as he dropped a kiss to my cheek, and I giggled brightly.
"We do need to make sure that we don't get the TARDIS almost blown up this time. She deserves better, poor thing," I said as we walked, and the Doctor arched an eyebrow up at me.
"Poor thing?" He repeated and I nodded while trying to contain my laughter at his offended look.
"She has been having to deal with your driving for the past several hundred years. Plus, you depositing her in active warzones and the like. And all the stray humans you bring home," I teased, ticking things off on my fingers as I went. He pouted slightly.
"She takes me to the active warzones half the time," he said before reaching up to self consciously straighten his tie. "And I take very good care of her."
"Well that's true. The amount of pampering she gets is almost enough to make a girl jealous. I am definitely the other woman in this scenario." He made a face I couldn't quite decipher, and I laughed. "Oh, it doesn't bother me. The Doctor and his big blue box. It's been you and her against the universe for a long time."
"I don't want you to feel like you're second place. Or that you have to compete," he said softly, and I smiled at him as I squeezed his elbow the hand that was resting on it.
"I'm not. Just a statement of fact. Kind of like how there's always going to be part of you that is in love with Sarah Jane," I said, and he blinked at me in confusion. "You loved her when you were the Fourth Doctor and there is always going to be a part of you that is him, and that part of you is always going to love her."
"Emma you are-" He pulled us to a stop and stared at me for a few seconds. "You are unbelievable."
"I'm going to take that as a compliment," I said after I had squinted at him for a few more seconds.
"It was intended as one." We walked in comfortable silence for awhile before he sent me a sideways look. "Can I ask you a question?"
"Of course, you can. I feel like I'm still up about four hundred on you," I said, and he laughed before he sobered.
"You've never asked to go back to see your parents again." I took a deep breath to give me a moment to sort my thoughts out.
"I know this is going to sound like deflection, but really it's an easy answer. I don't think seeing them again would be good for me." He nodded and I sucked in another deep breath. "There's also the fact that I am not brave enough."
"For what?" he asked as he frowned at me. I shifted my gaze down to the ground.
"If I asked, I would want to go see them when they were happy together," I said. "And I'm not brave enough to really see what I ruined."
"You are not at fault for their problems Emma," he said as he cupped my chin and gently tilted my head towards his. My face must have still showed my reluctance to believe him because he kissed me softly. "You are not at fault."
"No, you're right. It's not my fault. Sorry I guess some old insecurities rose up there for a second," I said with a shaky smile. The Doctor gave me another kiss, though longer this time and with deeper feeling.
"No need to apologize," he said. I gave him a steadier smile and squeezed his hands in thanks. "Exploring?"
"Exploring." We walked for a while in comfortable silence until the sonic started to squeak from the Doctor's pocket. I quirked an eyebrow up at him as he dug it out. "Since when does it do that?"
"Do what?" He asked as he held it up next to his ear before he flinched away from the shrill noise. I snorted at him.
"Squeak? Alarm? Go off by itself? Pick your favourite," I said. He extended the sonic away from him and spun in a circle.
"New setting." I waited for a couple moments to see if he was going to expand before I sighed in defeat.
"What exactly does the new setting do?" I asked.
"Detects alien technology through different kinds of radiation," he said, and I thought about that for a few moments before I shook my head.
"Sorry that still doesn't make sense. Mostly because I don't know what the base setting is for qualifying as not alien," I said, and he stopped his turn to give me a confused look.
"What?"
"Bad phrasing sorry. What is the sonic considering alien?" I asked and he made an understanding noise.
"Not alien like Gallifreyan versus Human technology. Alien like technology that shouldn't be somewhere," he said.
"Oh, so like the centrifuge when we were in Russia," I said, and he nodded.
"Exactly like that. Or the Quark base. I thought it might be a good idea since we keep stumbling across stuff," he said, and I laughed.
"You just don't want me to fall through the ground again," I teased.
"I agree that I'd rather not experience that again," he said dryly with a droll stare and I laughed again. "Limiting surprises would probably help keep you from taking a century off my lifespan."
"Yes, I forgot that I'm quite close, aren't I?" I mused idly and tapped my finger to my chin. "I should sit down and count to see how much leeway I actually have."
"Or you could just stop flirting with danger," the Doctor said after a strangled offended noise which made me laugh harder.
"I don't do it on purpose you know." He passed me a disbelieving look which prompted me to tack on a quick amendment. "Well most of the time."
"That sounds more accurate," he teased. I leaned in to kiss him quickly.
"You love it."
"I love you certainly. You throwing yourself into danger, willingly or no, not so much," he said as he returned his focus back to the sonic which was now starting to shriek at him like it was irritated that the Doctor was ignoring it. The Doctor messed with it for a few moments before he pointed off in a different direction than we had been walking and started jogging towards it.
"Interesting," the Doctor said as soon as we found what the sonic had picked up. It was a squat round tube that looked mildly similar to the oxygen vent we had traveled in back with the Silurians.
"Weird," I said, and the Doctor hummed in agreement. I bent down to pick up a pebble from the ground and scooped all the hair that fell in front of me back over my shoulder with a slight toss. I held up the pebble so that the Doctor could see it. "Want to see how deep it is?"
"By all means," he said as he bounced next to me. I wiggled it through the grate at the top and let it go. I leaned over the vent to watch the pebble before I huffed in frustration and reached to move my hair over my other shoulder as it fell and blocked my view again.
"Remind me to book a hair cut when we get back to the TARDIS," I muttered as I realized that I had once again forgotten a hair tie. The Doctor gave me a mildly horrified look. "What was that look for?"
"You know I would never dream of asking or telling you what to do with your hair. I just-" He cut himself off and rubbed the back of his head. "Never mind."
"Nope sorry you made a face that makes me need to know stuff. Tell me what you mean," I said.
"It's stupid." I snorted at that even though it probably wasn't the best response.
"I find that hard to believe," I said, and he reached out to grasp on of my curls between his fingers, alternating between pulling it straight and letting it wind back up around his finger.
"It's long," he whispered, and I quirked an eyebrow up at him in confusion because I wasn't making the connection.
"Okay?"
"In the vision you got from the Face of Boe the other you's hair was only shoulder length." He demonstrated by placing a hand where it had cut off. I'd forgotten that I had shown him the vision a while ago when he asked. The way he had held me after had made me think it was a bit of a mistake. "Your hair is currently longer than it was when you died in the other worlds."
"Oh," I said stupidly now that all the pieces had clicked into place in my head. He used his other hand to smooth some other errant hair out of my face.
"I look at it and it's proof. Proof that you didn't die, that I didn't lose you. Proof that you kept on living." His fingers weaved fully into my curls and he rested his forehead on mine. "Completely irrational I know, but it's the truth."
"So, I'll keep growing it out," I said with a shrug and he eyed me carefully.
"No," He said.
"Why not?" I asked as I frowned at him in confusion. Sometimes I could follow him perfectly and then sometimes I just couldn't and the latter was definitely a lot more frustrating.
"Because I do not want to force you or manipulate to conform to anything. You have bodily autonomy and you got enough of that from your parents." I sighed and gave him a smile with a slight, fond head shake because he was being ridiculous as I reached up to cup his face in my hands.
"Using my bodily autonomy and my knowledge of the fact that cutting my hair might bother you, I have decided to continue growing my hair out and as a result I'm just going to ask you to carry a bunch of hair ties in your pocket." He smiled at me and nuzzled my nose with his. "Hey, I lost track of the pebble did you hear it hit the bottom?"
"I did not." He turned back to the vent with his hands jammed in his pocket and frowned at the vent for a few moments before he crowed in victory and pulled a hair tie from his pocket.
"Thanks," I said as I quickly pulled my hair up in a ponytail. "For a minute there I thought you were focusing on the vent."
"Multitasking Emma. I am very good at it." He leaned in and rested his hand on the top of the grate which started to glow, and before either of us have time to react the world made a weird slurping noise as we jerked sideways. When I blinked to clear my eyes we were standing in a futuristic looking room surrounded by floating green jellyfish. As soon as my feet solidified on the ground my stomach lurched and I bent over gagging.
"Emma!" The Doctor said as he leaped next to me and rubbed my back. I managed to get control of my stomach so that I didn't puke all over the floor at the last second.
"Sorry that was just very weird." I peered back up to make sure the jellyfish were still there. "Can you also see the floating green jellyfish?"
"Rutans," the Doctor said in an affirmative tone. I squinted up at him.
"Like the Sontaran's Rutans?" I asked and he nodded which made me start laughing. "We totally just did this but from the other side. That's legitimately hilarious."
"Yes, I am glad you're amused."
"You should be considering how you're always so concerned about whether I'm happy or not," I teased between giggles.