Talking through things had never really been Elizabeth McCords kind of thing. She would deal with whatever issues came her way and then move on. She did not dwell. She did not wallow in self pity and she certainly didn't want anybody knowing her weaknesses. She wasn't even entirely sure she knew what they were herself. Yet here she was. Sat in a room with a complete stranger who had a smile that kinda irked her and a voice to match. It was uncomfortable and unnecessary and altogether pointless. Yet, here she was.

Elizabeth was a powerful woman. She could tame the toughest of opponents and have them bending to her will without breaking so much as a sweat. She had faced things in her life that had slightly bent her out of shape, raised 3 children and was half of a formidable and some may say enviable marriage that had seen many ups and downs over the years… But nothing had ever managed to bring her to her knees quite like this. This was different and she didn't like it one bit.

It had all started off fairly generic and pleasant. Introductions had been made. Elizabeth had briefly chatted about Henry and the kids and covered what is was like to be Secretary of State in no more than 200 words. She had been lulled into a false sense of security. This wasn't so bad. She could divulge the bare minimum and carry on with her day without a second thought….. Wrong!

The pleasant, softly spoken woman with the annoying smile knew exactly which buttons to press. Her words were like kryptonite wrapped up with a pretty bow and the more she probed, the worse it felt. Elizabeth wanted to stop this charade. Go back to her office and immerse herself in the problems around the world, not the ones she'd buried deep in the depths of her mind. Those were perfectly fine where they were, thank you very much and the softly spoken assassin (Sorry.. Therapist) was about to get a diplomatic piece of her mind. But it was too little, too late. She had fooled Elizabeth with the easy questions and was now going in for the kill.

"So Elizabeth. Tell me about the day your parents died." The words floated on the air with an almost joyful tone. Yet the subject was anything but.

"I really don't think this is relevant to my current situation. I went through a rather testing situation in Iraq and it's caused a few mild panic attacks. Give me a few good relaxation techniques and I'll be good to go." Elizabeth knew it was a long shot, but she was pretty good at getting her own way.

"Tell me how you felt. Try and voice those emotions for me. Close your eyes for me Elizabeth and talk me through that day." There it was again, that gentle tone that cut through the silence like a knife.

Elizabeth thought it best to just humour her, thinking she'd get out much quicker if she just spun a few words and left it at that….. Wrong Again!

She took a deep breath and closed her eyes. She was both amazed and unnerved buy how easily she was back in her bedroom. How clearly she could see everything. How it all seemed like it was yesterday. She could barely hear Dr Sherman's words now, they were drifting away as she once again became that 15 year old girl.

As she went through the events of that day in her mind, she started reacting in a way she was certainly not used to. Her dominance of the situation was rapidly diminishing and she could feel goosebumps erupting all over her now, rather clammy skin. She was unusually aware of how her heart felt as it beat in her chest and her breathing seemed louder than normal. Everything seemed louder than normal and she didn't like it.

She wiped her hands on her skirt as her palms felt wet and the thrumming of her heart was echoing in her ears, almost deafening her. And those words were playing over and over again on a loop "Your parents were in an accident. They didn't make it." She could hear her own words as she described what was happening but it was as if she wasn't there at all.

And then the true onslaught began. She couldn't seem to get enough moisture in her mouth and it was like she had the Sahara Desert in there. And why wouldn't the air fill her lungs like it had always managed to do before? She took deeper breaths yet it wasn't working. It was as if an elephant, no make that two elephants were sat on her chest, restricting pretty much everything.

Oh god… I can't breathe. My hands are starting to tingle and I don't feel like I'm in my own body. What's happening? I can't hear anything but the loud humming in my ears and I have no idea where I am. I really don't like this at all. I need to get out of this room. I need to get some air.. But my legs don't feel like my own. Everything feels numb and I'm so frightened. And the nausea, I'm definitely going to be sick. Is my heart really meant to beat this fast? It can't be normal… None of this is normal… Oh fuck… Henry.

The soft tones of Dr Sherman were now becoming louder. It was still echoing, but she could almost make out the words. She was pretty sure it was her name but the thrumming in her ears was just too loud.

"Elizabeth, you're alright. I need you to take deep breaths for me now. In and out as deep as you can manage. You're perfectly safe."

As Elizabeth managed to get slightly more air into her lungs and her body actually started feeling like her own again, she could feel her whole body trembling. It was as if the emotions in her mind had physically taken over her body and it was terrifying.

"What happened to me?" Elizabeth's voice was shaky and her eyes were still squeezed shut.

"You had a panic attack Elizabeth. It's perfectly normal, especially when you have so many suppressed feelings you haven't been able to face before now." Why did this woman make everything sound like a broadway musical. Elizabeth was pretty sure she could make even the most sinister of sentences sound like an outtake from Mary Poppins.

"None of this is perfectly normal. I came here to deal with Iran and now I'm leaving with even more shit to sort through. Is this how you get people to come back repeatedly? Get them dragging up other stuff?" Elizabeth knew it was snippy and she was glad.

"I think we've made a good start. We have a way to go but you will definitely get there Elizabeth. Why don't we leave it there for today and we'll continue next session."

Get there? Get where exactly…. Down a very deep and dark hole of emotions that I didn't want to raise in the first place. Oh yeah, Fantastic. Let's do that shall we.

As Elizabeth walked in through her front door and the comforting sounds and familiar scents surrounded her, the panic that had ripped through her body only hours before faded away and calmness enveloped her.

"Hey babe… How did the session go?" Henry's voice was like music to her ears. A gentle lullaby that was her sanctuary.

"Can you just hold me and tell me you love me? That's all I need right now." She held her arms out to her husband. The one person who she knew would never let her fall. Her soul mate.

Henry wrapped his arms around her slight frame and whispered into her ear "I love you Mrs McCord. Every minute of every day."

As Elizabeth tucked her head into the crook of Henry's neck and breathed him in, she knew wherever he was, she would be home.