I woke up fifteen hours later in the med bay with a throbbing headache and quite a few questions. Doctor Karin Chakwas calmly walked over to me, took my vitals, gave me a drink of water and (like she always did whenever I was knocked out cold) felt my forehead with the back of her hand.
Karin Chakwas enlisted in the Alliance shortly after graduating from medical school, seeking "exotic adventure", though like the rest of us she quickly realized that military life was not as romantic as she had imagined it to be. Though she sometimes considered starting her own private practice, or going to work at a medical center on one of the colonies, she felt there was "something special about working on soldiers", and believed she would be abandoning them if she did not stay. I was certainly glad she stayed. Where Anderson was much like a father to me, after only three short years under her care, I considered Karin as my adoptive mother, if only because she was constantly telling me I was 'fine' and to 'stop complaining.'
An extraordinary woman, Karin Chakwas was an incredibly intelligent, hard working and caring individual. Though she technically outranked me (surgeons are immediately promoted to the rank of major), she always stood by my decisions, whether good or bad and stayed true to her own beliefs.
She explained that Ash and Kaiden dragged me back to the ship after the beacon had literally exploded, and while I was physically fine, she had observed abnormal beta waves in my brain activity and rapid eye movement that was indicative of heavy dreaming. While I didn't really remember dreaming, I did remember the images that the beacon had shown me. I remember death and destruction, but nothing abundantly clear. She gave me some standard issued painkillers, one day of bed rest (which I didn't take) and left me with Anderson.
Once he prodded me about my condition, he began debriefing me immediately.
"Things look bad. Nihlus is dead, the beacon is destroyed and the geth are invading. The council is going to want answers." He stated bluntly.
"Of course it sounds bad if you say it all at once." I said, "What happened to Jenkins…the squad?"
He shook his head at the mention of Jenkins' name.
"Jenkins was killed, instantly. Alenko and Williams are fine. I've debriefed them already, but you should go speak to them yourself. They've been through a lot."
Ashley Williams had been made an official member of the Normandy's crew and I made a mental note to interview her as soon as time warranted. It has always been important to me to know the ones I work with, if only so that I am better able to lead them.
"What the hell happened down there?" He asked.
I thought hard, tying to conjure up the vision again. It made my headache worse. "Just before I lost consciousness, I had some kind of…vision. I saw synthetics slaughtering people. Butchering them."
"And Nihlus?"
"Murdered. By a turian named Saren." I saw Anderson's expression change the second I mentioned the name.
"Saren's a Spectre, one of the best, a living legend. But if he's working with the geth, it means he's gone rogue. A rogue Spectre's trouble. Saren's dangerous and he hates humans."
"Do you know him?" I asked.
"I know of him. Let's leave it at that for now." He answered.
Anderson began walking out of the medbay and I jumped off the stretcher to catch up.
"So what's our next step?"
"We go to the council." He said immediately. "Expose Saren, and try to figure out what the hell he wanted with the beacon. We also need to find out if Saren is working with the geth, or worse, if the geth are working for him. There are a lot of questions that need to be answered here and if what you're telling me is true, this affects more than just humanity."
"What do we tell them? That I had a bad dream?"
"We tell them the truth and hope they believe it. But Saren is one of their own, one of their best."
Anderson had always taught me that hope was not a COA (Course of Action). When making a plan, it's always necessary to have something solid in mind rather than rely on something as vague as hope. Though in this case we really didn't have a choice. We would just have to trust that the council would at least listen.
"I've set a course for the citadel, we should be there by tomorrow morning. I expect you, Williams and Alenko to be there with your dress blues on and in Udina's office ready to explain your very detailed, thorough report that will be on my desk by this evening. Then we'll hold Jenkins' memorial at the embassy."
His expression softened a little. "I've already arranged for an assisting officer to accompany his body back to Eden Prime once we reach the citadel. His family survived the invasion, though I suspect he won't be the only one they'll be burying." He gave me a nod as he left and I took a few more minutes to compose myself before heading out the door.
I had a million and one things to do before the morning but my first priority was food. I made my way to the mess, grabbed a power bar and a cup of coffee and sat down across from Ashley Williams who looked very eager to speak with me. I was also eager to speak with her. The circumstances surrounding our first meet had not allowed for proper introductions as the first priority in any engagement is to first win the firefight.
When I first met Ashley, I knew I was meeting someone who was determined to a fault. Ashley fought like hell on Eden Prime. She lost her company, expected no help, yet there she was fighting an invasion all by herself. She was stubborn as a mule.
Born on April 14th, 2158 on the colony world Sirona in the 61 Ursae Majoris system, Ashley Madeline Williams was from a large family that included a long line of Alliance soldiers. Her father was an enlisted man and she was the oldest of four daughters in the family, followed by Abby, Lynn, and Sarah. Despite his hard work and dedication, Ashley's father never rose above the rank of Serviceman third class, a fact I learned she was deeply bitter about. She was young, just twenty-five and already a Chief Gunnery Sergeant. I suspected an invisible hand was also guiding her career as well.
A brief note concerning gender: military life has often been a sexist environment, but war is an equal opportunity employer. Ashley was incredibly skilled, extremely fit, competent and well respected, Ashley was a soldier through and through and I was always confident fighting beside her.
We talked about growing up on colonial worlds, Alliance training and even a little literature before the conversation shifted towards more a morose topic. She was uncomfortable filling Jenkins' shoes and blamed herself for not being more alert during the geth attack.
"I'm used to seeing friends die." She told me, "But my whole squad…"
I told her she had nothing to do with Jenkins' death and she wasn't the one to blame for the loss of her squad. The geth were. Plain and simple. She had survived and she would make their sacrifice worthwhile. But of course, that's all easier said than done. I knew that Ashley would replay the events in her head over and over again, trying to pinpoint the moments where she could have affected a different outcome. Her Well of Fortitude had taken a significant hit with the loss of her soldiers and now that she was under my command, it was up to me to try and fill it back up. Again, easier said than done.
Soldiers are used to death. We sign a contract giving the Alliance 'unlimited liability'. It is the only profession where you can lawfully be put into harms way, or where you can order others into it knowing there is a risk of injury or death. I knew that when my time eventually came, I considered it to be an honour to be buried beneath the Alliance flag. When a friend or a comrade gives their life and pays the ultimate sacrifice, we mourn, but we don't stop. Life carries on, the mission carries on and we carry our friends in our hearts.
I left her to prep for the citadel and went to speak with Kaidan. He was already working on his report and was happy to see me walking around conscious and coherent. He was quick to remind me about the drink I owed him for "carrying [my] heavy carcass all the way to the ship."
Kaidan was born in 2151 in Vancouver, Canada, into a family already familiar with space: his father served in the Alliance military. After his mother was downwind of a transport crash in Singapore, Kaidan was exposed in utero to element zero and beat the odds, gaining biotic potential instead of terminal brain cancer.
Like most children exposed to eezo, Kaidan attended BAaT (Biotic Acclimation and Temperance Training) conducted at Gagarin Station. As Kaidan told me, "a bunch of guys in suits show up at your door after school and next thing you know, you're out on Jump Zero." His confrontation with a turian instructor was well documented, however his career was unaffected by it.
He enlisted in 2173 and refused further biotic training or an implant retrofit and worked his way up to Lieutenant, gaining several special commendations in the process despite the health problems he suffered with his L2 implants. He experienced severe migraines but he was usually able to predict them far enough in advance that he could let either Anderson or myself know. More often than not, Kaidan would deploy despite a migraine as a testament to his strong will and equally stubborn nature. The Normandy was a ship full of mules.
While Ashley could best most at the fine art of hand-to-hand physical combat and completely decimate everyone she met in verbal sparring matches, Kaidan was the type to rip a person to shreds with his biotics and carefully apply gel to his hair afterwards.
We talked briefly about Jenkins and the plan for his memorial and I made sure he knew he could talk to me if the need arose. Kaidan had experienced loss on the periphery of his career, but never someone under his command until now. The first is always the hardest.
After I made my rounds, I stood on the bridge watching as the Normandy approached the Citadel. I'd never seen anything like it before, so few humans had. I only knew what I had learned in school. The Protheans supposedly constructed it and the asari were the first to discover it. Somehow, it was completely inhabitable and fully functional upon discovery and centrally located at the junction of many of the major mass relays. It had quickly become the epicenter of galactic activity and the command center of all galactic politics. Humans quickly termed the station 'Citadel' as the word derives from the same Latin root as the word "city", civis, meaning citizen. In our language, citadel describes a fortress protecting a town. We had no idea of the irony at the time.
Anderson was anxious to meet with Earth Ambassador Donnel Udina and attempt to expose Saren as a rogue Spectre and have his status revoked. I quickly learned that politics was far more ruthless than combat. I watched from the sidelines as Udina first politely brought the subject to light, then became increasingly more agitated as the council continually failed to listen to his pleas. In the end, the council agreed to hear the findings of a long, drawn out C-Sec investigation into the highly guarded affairs of one of its top Spectre agents.
We all knew it was over before it started.
To this point, I had no ill feelings against Donnel Udina. He struck me as a strong-minded, hard working individual who was determined to advance human interests wherever possible. He was extremely mistrustful of me and I of him; and he required absolute, solid, irrefutable proof of anything before acting, a trait that was often in direct contradiction of my goals. He was afraid to rock the boat and I was ready to sink it.
To my credit, I actually waited a full twenty-four hours before becoming impatient and beginning my own investigation into Saren's affairs. I got absolutely nowhere and two days later we were summoned to the council chambers to hear the final ruling.
I walked up the hundred or so steps to the Petitioner's Stage, designed to impress the power and authority of the council to those who stood upon it. All three councilors were there, as well as several high-ranking C-Sec officers, and even Saren himself. My heart beat like a drum as I stood there and watched him watching me.
"The geth attack is a matter of some concern. But there is nothing to indicate Saren was involved in any way." Said asari councilor Tevos. My eyes went wide with bewilderment.
Sparatus stood tall, stoic, as always and added somewhat proudly, "The investigation by Citadel Security turned up no evidence to support your charge of treason."
"An eye witness saw Saren murder Nihlus!" Udina barked.
"One terrified dock worker is hardly an accurate witness." Said salarian councilor Valern.
"I resent these accusations. Nihlus was a fellow Spectre." Saren turned to look at me. "And a friend."
"Just let you catch him off guard." Replied Anderson.
"Captain Anderson." Saren seemed somewhat amused. "You always seem to be involved when humanity makes false charges against me." He looked at me again and I straightened my stance. "And this must be your protégé, Commander Shepard. The one who let the beacon get destroyed."
He was trying to provoke me into an irrational response and I'll admit it was working. "Those reports were classified." I said through gritted teeth.
"Please." He scoffed. "I've read them and I must say, they're devoid of any real evidence to support your claims. I had nothing to do with the beacon or Nihlus. Shift the blame to cover your own failures, just like Captain Anderson. He taught you well. But what can you expect from a human?
"Your species needs to learn its place, Shepard. You're not ready to join the Council. You're not ready to join the Spectres."
"He has no right to say that!" Udina was yelling now. "That's not his decision!"
"Shepard's admission into the Spectres is not the purpose of this meeting." Tevos calmly stated.
"You're right." Saren replied. "This meeting has no purpose. The humans are wasting your time and mine."
"There's still one outstanding issue." Anderson stated, trying to shift the topic back to the geth. "Commander Shepard's vision. It might have been triggered by the beacon."
"Are we allowing dreams into evidence now? Saren laughed. "How can I defend my innocence against this kind of testimony?"
"I agree." Said Sparatus. "Our judgment must be based on facts and evidence, not wild imaginings and reckless speculation."
"In light of this testimony, the council has found no evidence of any connection between Saren and the geth." Tevos coolly stated.
"What!?" Udina yelled, shocked. "You didn't even deliberate! This is an outrage!"
"Ambassador, your petition to have Saren disbarred from the Spectres is denied."
There was nothing more we could do. We all stood there, silent in our defeat and contemplated what to do next. Nothing immediately came to mind as I listened to Udina blame Anderson's 'history' with Saren ruining our case. Udina ordered him to remove himself from the situation and gave me the green light to unofficially investigate. Problem was, I had already tried that.
I was descending the massive steps when I was intercepted by a large turian in a C-Sec uniform. "Commander Shepard? Garrus Vakarian, C-Sec Investigations. I think you and I have a common goal."
"That so?" I replied, a little skeptical.
"I was in charge of the investigation into Saren before I was shut down. Something isn't right. But I have a lead." He said. "If you're willing, I think we might be able to prove Saren was involved in the attack on Eden Prime."
"Willing to do what?" I asked.
"Willing to get into a bit of trouble." He replied.