"So then what happened?"
"What do you mean, 'what happened?' We took the objective and came back here."
"Listen, Commander. If you're going to come up here and sit in the co-pilot seat and disturb the quiet, brooding aura I've got going on in here, you're going to have to provide details."
"I don't know what other details I can give you, Joker."
"Are you being serious right now?"
"Yes?"
"Ahem. Commandos? Leathers? Commando leathers. Asari bodies in commando leathers."
"You're a dog, Joker."
"And you're a buzz kill."
"I didn't get a great look at them, there was a lot of gun fire and yelling and warping and dark energy flying. I have pictures of the bodies in my report, do you want to see those?"
"Alright, jeez. You know, you need to relax."
"That's why I come up here to see you."
Chats with Joker were becoming sort of a new normal for me in the weeks following my assumption of command. Joker existed in a strange space in the chain, where he was technically directly subordinate to Pressly, but had significant authority and responsibility that almost aligned him with me.
He spent most of his time alone in the cockpit, monitoring the ships diagnostic suites, navigation, engines, waste management, and the plethora of other systems that made the ship function. When traversing the relays or engaging stealth systems, he was accompanied by one of two co-pilots (Lieutenants Caroline Grenado and Silas Crosby).
He was never lonely, though as many of the crew would visit the cockpit to sit and chat. Recognizing his seniority and his discretion, Joker had become the sounding board for many of the senior staff.
It would have been easy for him to become a hub for rumours and gossip, but he resisted the temptation with apparent ease.
"So just so I'm clear," he gestured with his hands with an exasperated sigh, "the summary of your experience in shutting down a pirate slave ring, run by an Asari, was 'objective taken, no friendly casualties.'"
"Well no, the actual leader is a diplomat on the Citadel, so she's got an arrest warrant out for her with C-Sec. But then Garrus tells me he's got friends in C-Sec and they're telling him that she's already long gone and she actually wanted her sister dead." I explained. "Oh yeah, I forgot that part, the asari pirate lady we killed was the sister of the diplomat."
"It's all very dramatic." Garrus interrupted, entering the cockpit to fetch me for my next engagement.
Joker let out a huff. "You're almost as bad at telling stories as you are at poker."
"Speaking of which," I said, rising from the co-pilot's chair, "when's our next redistribution of Alliance salaries?"
"How about tonight?" Garrus suggested. "I could use some extra creds before we get back to the Citadel."
"Sure thing, Gare-bear!" Joker called as we descended the ramp back towards the CIC.
"Gare-bear?" I jabbed.
"He's an idiot. The more I complain the worse the pet-names get."
"Sounds like he's got you figured out."
"Hmm. Maybe you're right. I suppose it's better than some of the others he's come up with."
"Whatever you say, Bird-Man."
Garrus gave me a playful rap on the arm in return.
"Save some for the sparring session." I quipped.
His mandibles flared in what I assumed was the Turian version of a smile and he keyed the lift to the cargo bay.
"Your feeble human body wouldn't last 5 seconds." He teased.
"One of these days, Garrus, you're going to have to put your money where your mandibles are."
The lift came to a halt and he stepped out before me.
"Maybe." He conceded. "But today, I'll just watch from the sidelines."
I had planned to watch from the sidelines as well, as the PT session was already well underway.
A small circle had formed around Ashley and Kaidan as they demonstrated Alliance hand-to-hand techniques.
"I'm on my knees and there's a gun to my head. Not a situation I want to be in." Ashley explained to the crowd.
"Shut the fuck up and get on your fucking face!" Kaidan screamed, eliciting snickered laughter from the Alliance crew.
Ash dropped to her knees and raised her hands in the air. "I act afraid and submissive, turing my head away from his rifle and pleading for my life, bringing my hands to the tactical level of the gun. The more non threatening I am, the greater the chance he'll let his guard down, and make the mistake of getting too close.
"There are two motions that are going to carry me out. First, is getting out of the line of fire, which is by far the most important. At the same time I'm going to isolate the weapon by grabbing hold of the barrel, and driving it away from me and toward the ground."
She made the motions first in slow motion and then once in full speed, stopping before the final motions were complete.
"His first instinct is to pull away," she continued as Kaidan tried to yank the rifle away from her hands in exaggerated movements.
"I use his momentum to help me off my knees, and push the gun down. I strike him hard in the throat. Again in the head. He loses his balance and with my other hand I grab the butt of his rifle and yank it out of his grasp. I thrust the rifle into his face and he stumbles back. I shoulder the rifle and retreat.
"Bang!"
Kaidan fell to the floor and lay motionless.
"You're dead Alenko."
"This demonstration accomplished a few things." Ashley started as she helped Kaidan to his feet. "It highlights the importance of the buddy system. If Lt. Alenko had a partner standing behind me holding a weapon to my back, it would have been much harder to disarm him. It also highlighted the importance of keeping your distance, and never underestimating your enemy. The second Lt. Alenko felt threatened, he had the right to end my life.
Of course, if Lieutenant Alenko had 'used the force', someone would be mopping me off the floor. If you'll all partner up, you can practice the disarm techniques we've worked on today."
I watched as pairs started to form, the human crew pairing with other humans for the most part. Tali had paired up with Sgt. Chase and the two were laughing as they tried to strap the human sparring gear to Tali's intricate suit.
Garrus, Wrex and Liara stood in a group off to the side and I approached them, watching the pairs starting to spar.
"Not going to participate, Wrex?" Liara asked teasingly.
"Ha! Humans and asari are soft. All I have to do is pick you up and squeeze."
"Well that's a pleasant image." Garrus drawled.
"I could be you're partner, Turian. Squeezing doesn't work as well as pulling you apart."
"I'll pass."
"I see you two are getting along." I interjected, defusing the escalating aggression, however playful it seemed.
"We are getting along, boss. Wrex and I are just sharing hand-to-hand strategies."
"It's true." Wrex clarified. "Garrus has excellent tactical knowledge. But I'm still not partaking in this useless exercise."
"What about you, Shepard?" Garrus pestered. "Do human commanders not participate in combatives with their troops? I could understand not wanting to be humiliated by your subordinates..."
"You're talking an awful lot of smack for a guy who minutes ago turned down my challenge." I warned with a smirk.
"It wouldn't be a fair fight." He teased.
Liara suddenly peered past both Wrex and Garrus to lock eyes with me.
"I'd like to participate.."she tentatively declared. "That is...if you're searching for a partner..."
"Well look at that." Garrus intoned, "How convenient."
I shot him a knowing look before leaving with Liara to collect some gear. Despite the awkwardness, I was looking forward to getting some physical exercise.
I said before that unarmed combat accomplishes the most important task of inoculating a soldier against overt, physical hostility. While many militaries use boxing matches to accomplish this, combative sport is completely different from actual combat.
The stance of Krav Maga is maximum preparation for any situation. In mixed martial arts, or other combative sport, there are rules, guidelines, and referees. The most talented mixed martial artist or boxer could certainly kill you. However, there is a switch inside their head that is consciously turned off. It keeps them from killing their opponent when they're on the ground. It stops them from kicking their opponent or stomping them to death, or using tools around them to inflict maximum damage or pain.
On the battlefield, there are no rules. There are no referees. It's do or die. You need to train enough so that switch in your head that tells you not to kill your opponent is off. Because you need to assume your enemy has done the same.
I had always emphasized realistic training when it came to unarmed combat. We were not training for competition, or sport; we were training to defeat a opponent who wants to injure, rape, or kill us.
Train as you fight, fight as you train.
I had trained with asari before. They move so fast and smooth it's as if they're made of water. Fighting commandos hand to hand, I learned that even when I eliminated as much dead space between throws as possible, they were still just that much faster.
Asari fought hand to hand like they did on the battle field; by striking when they could, hard and fast, slowly wearing you down. Their weakness was in their inability to counter brute force. Study her tactics long enough and a lucky punch, well placed jab, or take-down could stun her enough to give you an advantage. Usually, they were unable to recover from it. The key was to get so close that your brute force could overwhelm her defenses and limit her ability to use biotics. Allowing a commando to have time and space during a fight was normally akin to suicide. I could punch, kick, slam my fists all I wanted, but I could not bend gravity to my will.
Liara was no commando, but she was skilled and I could tell she had some military training. She was quick and calm as she sidestepped and landed a combination of kicks, then retreating to a safe distance.
There is a belief that technology has eliminated the importance of hand to hand combat on the battlefield. It is mostly used as a tool to bring the necessary aggressiveness required of soldiers in a fight.
While entire battles may not be decided without conventional weapons, your life certainly could be. I've used my hands, rocks, knives, shards of metal, wood, broken pieces of a rifle, anything around or available to me to kill an opponent. Because in those seconds, it's you or them. And you'd better be prepared.
"Come on!" I yelled, and threw another punch. She blocked it and struck me in the face. I stumbled back. "Good." I smiled. "But, you just broke your fingers. Use your elbow or the heel of your hand next time."
"I'll remember that." She said breathlessly.
"Try to use one of the techniques Ash taught to take me down." I said, readying myself for another quick barrage.
She did just that, throwing two quick jabs towards my face causing me to step back, unbalanced, while blocking. In the split second it would have taken to regain my fighting stance, Liara closed the gap, planting her strong leg behind mine and throwing me backward over her bent knee.
I let her have that one.
The next time she tried it, a little faster this time, I countered by using her forward momentum and threw her forward to the ground.
"Little different from commando training?" I smirked, recalling our earlier conversation about her leathers and offering her a hand.
"Yes, well, most commando sparring is done in the nude."
Before I had a chance to register the image, I found myself on my back, the air knocked out of my lungs, staring up at the ceiling.
"How was that?" She stood triumphantly above me and offered her hand.
I took it and stood. "That's cheating." I coughed.
"I believe you humans have a saying? All is fair in love and war?"
"Good point."
She helped me to my feet and guided me to a munitions crate where I could sit and catch my breath. A small crowd had formed around the two of us and they were clearly applauding Liara.
"Thank you for sparring with me," she said, taking a sip of water. "The crew seems to have enjoyed it."
I laughed weakly, trying to catch my breath. "Yeah. Well. It seems like you've certainly got some fans."
"I must admit. At first I found it hard to take your species seriously. You seem in so much of a hurry. So rushed and high strung. But after spending time with you and your crew, I'm beginning to think of it more of an advantage."
I chuckled. "We don't exactly have the luxury of living for a thousand years. We've got to get it all done quickly."
"Unfortunately, most of the galaxy views you as somewhat of a bully."
I tilted my head and furrowed my eyebrows. "Me personally, or humanity as a whole?"
"Humanity." She clarified. "You humans are creatures of action. You pursue your goals with an indominable determination. You don't seem to care if you step on those who get in your way." She took a swig of her water and looked directly into my eyes. "It's very intmidating."
"Do I intimidate you?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"You're fearless."
I couldn't help but laugh. "No, I'm not. Trust me. I'm scared all the time. You scare the living hell out of me."
"I scare you?"
"Anyone who isn't scared of you is insane."
"And why is that?"
"Because you can manipulate energy to your will. Maybe I can beat you in a hand-to-hand fight, but you can turn me into pink mist with your mind. I've seen it."
She sighed heavily and shook her head, "that's not quite how it works. Biotic abilities are activated using a technique called "physical mnemonics", in which one uses a physical gesture to cause neurons to fire in a certain sequence, sending an electrical charge through their eezo nodules and creating the desired effect."
She snapped her fingers and conjured blue flickers around her hand. There was a feeling of static electricity in the air around her hand.
I mimicked the motion and as expected, nothing happened. We both snickered at the gesture.
There was a silence as we both drank and let our heart rates return to normal. Liara toyed with her bottle and stared at the floor.
"I looked into your history." She confessed. "I wanted to know more about you." She looked at me with those eyes and I started sweating again.
There were certain chapters of my history widely known and others that were buried. Mindoir, for example, would be in my file but details available to the press were limited. My 'heroics' on Elysium were widely known, but the death of my friends and the killing field created in front of the base not well documented. Details of N class missions are often kept hush for the sake of operational security and the press is generally happy to abide; with one great exception: Torfan.
Depending on who you ask, Torfan was either a tactical success with expected losses on both sides, or a complete massacre. I received a medal for my efforts there, for taking command from my superior officer when he broke down and could no longer bear the burden of leadership. I also earned the dubious title in Terminus Space as "The Butcher of Torfan."
The truth is somewhere in the middle.
In a claustrophobic, underground facility with 90 degree turns meant for chance meetings and close quarters combat, the possibility of hand-to-hand fighting is basically guaranteed.
There's a picture that made its rounds through the galactic news net of me standing in a hall, my armour covered in blood, bodies strewn on the floor in front and behind me. I'm holding a batarian helmet that's been split by a rapid-fabricated omni-blade. The caption read: Alliance soldier examines bloody battlefield.
People will make their own narratives and fill in the blanks if they're not provided. I had to scale piles of bodies in the halls, I had to kill batarians in brutal ways. I had to do what I had to do to get my soldiers and myself to our objective.
"And what did you find?" I asked.
She swallowed hard and opened her mouth to speak and the cargo bay was suddenly drenched in red light. The alarm sounding in two short, quick blasts. A general call to stations. Our conversation would have to wait.
I was the first on the lift up to the CIC, and was greeted with a salute from Pressly the second I stepped out.
"Sir. Received a distress signal from Terra Nova. Comms are weak, but Tali was able to clear up part of their SOS broadcast. As far as we can tell, communications with the engineering team on the mining asteroid X57 have been lost. The fusion torches have reignited, and the asteroid is accelerating towards Terra Nova."
"How much time?"
"About five hours, sir."
X57 was a metallic asteroid, originally located at the trailing Lagrange point of the gas giant Borr. With the increased development on Terra Nova, a new orbital port facility was necessary. Due to a shortage of funding, it was decided to 'mine out' X57, using the recovered resources to finish out the interior for habitation. The asteroid would then be decelerated from Borr's orbit using fusion torches, allowing it to fall into the orbit of Terra Nova.
With the fusion torches accelerating, an asteroid about the size of Texas, would crash into a planet with about 4.5 million inhabitants.
From what little information we were able to gather, the asteroid was on a direct collision course for an ocean impact. Many, many lives would be lost.
"Set a course immediately and try to establish comms with whomever you can."
"That's the thing, sir." Pressly approached me at the galaxy map. "We've been trying through every available means to communicate. We were only able to pick up their signal because of the new tech Tali installed."
My eyes narrowed. "What do you mean?"
"I mean their communications are being intercepted. All of them."
Pressly was an excellent XO. He understood the importance of making decisions on his own, and on a hunch, redirected our course to intercept a static signal he was receiving. The transmission we were picking up was likely coming from a local radio station based on the asteroid. That's how weak the signal was.
"There's an asteroid about to obliterate a human colony and, just as a coincidence, the entire planet is unable to request help?" I wanted to see if it sounded as absurd out loud as it did in my head.
"That's no coincidence." I turned to see Liara standing behind me. "They're under attack."
"Has the Alliance been informed?" I asked.
"Yes, sir. Fifth Fleet is aware however they're too far out. We're the only vessel close enough to respond. The planet is currently evacuating, however they only have enough transportation to evac about five percent of their population."
I let out a deep breath. "Set course immediately, engage stealth systems, run as quiet as possible for as long as possible. Put the ground team of thirty minutes notice to move. Orders in one hour, here."
He snapped off a salute and began barking orders at some junior officers.
I turned my attention back to Liara. "There is only one group of people who would even attempt something like this." I said, my voice low and dark. "This is batarians."
"A human colony is destroyed by its own mining asteroid. All the evidence with it. Humans are proven to be incapable of functioning at the same level as the rest of galactic society." She softly. "Millions die and the human Alliance would be crippled by citadel sanctions for centuries. Shepard..."
I quickly gathered my thoughts and went through the list in my head. "Get your gear ready. It's all hands on deck for this one." I ordered. Liara quickly took off and I shouted for Pressly who was still barking orders to his subordinates.
"Get me any intel you can find about the facility. I want to know the layout of every building, I want to know their defence plan, their comms capabilities, I want to know what kind of screws were used to build the torches."
"Sir!"
It took him all of ten minutes to call up all classified and unclassified data on X57, and I began a very reduced form of battle procedure.
In training, you learn that the eighty percent solution that you devised quickly, was more effective than the one hundred percent solution that took too long to think up. Evaluate the factors, consider your options, think of your plan, and execute it. Make a decision. Any decision, because minutes count.
So I ran through it all in my head and extracted my tasks.
What do I know about the enemy? An unknown number of suspected batarian terrorists have captured asteroid X57 and hijacked three guidance torches. They work in small teams of two or three, and possible section minus positions located at the torches themselves. They are equipped with various small arms, including rockets and recoilless rifles. Expect they have also hijacked the asteroid's turret defence network, which includes six turrets equipped with eighty-four millimetre rockets, two at each torch.
What do I know about the friendly forces there? A team of eight civilian engineers was scheduled to depart the asteroid once it was safely within Terra Nova's orbit. The planet lost contact with them several hours ago. One or more members may have escaped or eluded capture and was able to send the SOS signal.
I shouted again for Pressly and gave him a long list of items to draw from the ship's quarter master.
I needed to hit all three torches at the same time, possibly the main facility, and the source of the SOS transmission as well. I figured I could work in teams of two or three max. This concerned me, but the only other option was to split the team into fewer, larger groups, or maybe even one team, and risk alerting the enemy, eliminating the element of surprise.
Through experience, I've often found that one needs speed and security to accomplish a task, but can rarely achieve both. It usually comes down to choosing one over the other. If the goal is speed, you can't spend hours cordoning a building inside and out and spend hours clearing every single room. You sacrifice security.
You want security? Take the time, be meticulous, be thorough, but understand that speed doesn't come with it.
I needed speed. I had to sacrifice security and take the necessary risks that came with it.
There were a lot of moving parts, but with my orders finished and equipment distributed, I was confident everyone understood their roles.
The teams would be split in two. I would lead team one with Wrex, Ashley and Liara while Kaidan took team two, comprised of Tali, Garrus, and the Mako team. Each team would disable two torches simultaneously before rendezvousing at the final, larger facility which I assessed to be the base of operations and the location that would likely have the most resistance.
We would insert via shuttle and Mako drop to the release point just south of the hill with the SOS signal. Each team would then move to their respective lines of departure and waited for H hour. On H hour, each team would breech simultaneously and shut down the torches.
"Why can't we go in the truck?" Wrex complained.
Ashley groaned, "Because you can't fit inside the truck, Wrex."
"I'm going to get inside that thing one way or another." He vowed. "I want to go for a ride."
"Get in the shuttle so we can go already!" Garrus shouted.
The shuttle creaked as the krogan stepped inside. "Batarians won't kill themselves. Unfortunately."
I took a moment to address the crew before stepping into the shuttle myself. "You all know your mission. Let's go get it done."
"HUAH!" Ash yelled.
The drop to the asteroid's surface was quick and quiet.
Kaidan's team quickly secured the SOS signal and were poised to enter the first facility on our mark.
"Hey boss," Garrus' voice came clear over the radio, indicating they'd disabled the communications jamming in place. "We've got some bodies up here. They're burned pretty bad. Likely batarians like we suspected."
"Roger, thanks." I responded, unsurprised.
My team had encountered zero resistance to that point as well indicating these terrorists were either terribly unorganized, or very small in number.
"I don't see anything." Ashley said quietly as we lay prone perched atop a rock a few hundred meters from the northern torch. "No guards, no cameras, nothing."
H hour in fifteen minutes and teams were set.
My ears caught the sound of an engine in the distance, and a few minutes later a six-wheeled ATV rolled up and came to a stop beside the shed. A half-dozen people got out; all were batarian. The door to the torch shed opened, and four of the figures unloaded a crate from the back of an ATV and carried it inside the main facility. The other two took up sentry positions beside the door.
Two batarians standing guard outside a building in the middle of nowhere. They had no cover; they were completely exposed. I shook my head in disbelief as I relayed the contact info on the comm.
"Two, it's One. Are you seeing what we're seeing?"
Kaidan came back almost immediately. "One, it's Two. Yes. One small team, no overwatch. Very hasty."
"This was barely planned." Liara whispered into her helmet intercom, sidling up beside me.
"Probably explains why it was such a surprise. Batarians aren't stupid, but they can be reckless." Wrex added.
I could recognize the insignia on their armour as members of the Grimm Skulls, one of many inconsequential security organizations operating in the area. They were small, adequately trained and moderately equipped. There was nothing here that could tie the hegemony to anything.
"You take the one on the right, I'll take the one on the left." I whispered to Ash, and counted down. Both sentries slumped to the ground. A more professional operation would have had someone on the inside periodically checking on the sentries, or they just wouldn't have left them out there in the first place.
It took us about ten minutes to clamber down from our perch on the rock face and approach the building's entrance in tactical column. The torch shed contained a small ante-room that opened into a larger chamber that housed the torch electronics and hardware. Further into the chamber, a tunnel connected it to the main facility.
"One, it's Two. We're inside. Four enemy down. Heading to the torch control now."
"One, roger."
I pressed myself against the door, listening carefully. Inside I could hear angry bickering. I pulled out a flash bang grenade and began to count silently to myself while Ashley reached up and punched in the access code on the panel. As the doors slid open, I tossed the grenade from my belt into the foyer. An instant after the blast, myself and Ash spun in through the door, clearing the corners first, rifles raised and ready to dun down any enemies inside.
The grenade had caused a secondary explosion from a fire extinguisher, and the entire room was filled with dense fog. I could barely see my hand in front of my face. I heard screams and the sound of gunfire as the terrified batarians inside panicked. Blinded, they started shooting wildly towards the door. For a full twenty seconds the echo of gunfire reverberating off the building's metal walls drowned out every other sound.
Before I could even get a shot off, I was pinned to the ground by a very heavy, very angry varen. I ducked my chin instinctively, certain the varen would go for my throat, and with my rifle thrown clear of my body I struggled to hold back its massive jaw with one arm, while I reached for my side arm with the other.
I shifted my efforts to reaching my gun and the arm holding back the varen faltered for an instant. I felt its jaw clamp down on my forearm and I screamed. The sudden shot of pain giving me enough energy grab my gun, plant it under the varen's muzzle and empty a full clip into it.
Its full weight lay lifeless on my body, its jaw still clamped around my arm, and I was stuck there until Wrex found me.
"Comfortable down there, Shepard?" Wrex grunted as he unhinged the varen's teeth from my arm.
"Very funny." I croaked. "Now get this thing off of me."
I rolled onto my side and knelt, examining the wound. The varen had managed to puncture my hardsuit, and deep into my flesh. I winced as I touched the clean bite marks five sharp teeth had made.
Liara knelt beside me and applied medi-gel to the wounds. "You need to get these checked as soon as possible. Varen bites are toxic to your species."
Assault rifle in hand again, I made my way from body to body as Ash and Liara started work on the torch.
Before I had to ask, Kaidan sent me an update over the comm. "One, it's Two. Torch disabled. Six enemy total down. Heading for main facility now. ETA 15."
"One, roger." I hissed at the sharp pain in my arm as I keyed the radio. "Ash, you acknowledge?"
"Got it. Torch is down now."
"Wait." Wrex called from across the hall. "We've got a live one, Shepard."
With the toe of my boot, I rolled over a batarian who had fallen near a crate, one half of his face was burned, the flesh crispy and brittle from an incendiary grenade Ashley had tossed. A small moan escaped from his lips, and his good eye fluttered open.
"Who...who are you?" He choked.
"A Spectre." I replied, standing over him.
"This...was all wrong." He coughed, spewing up dark phlegm that was mostly blood. "I...it was supposed to be a quick slave grab. Bal...Balak..."
He now had my full attention.
"Ka'hairal Balak?" I bent down beside him and saw him nod slowly.
"He…I didn't want this….please. Help me."
"Tell me where Balak is." I ordered.
"Main facility. He has hostages. Take this." His face was contorted in pain as he spilled out his words and with a shaky hand gave me a pass card.
At least he was trying to redeem himself. I prepared my omni-tool, intent on giving him a dose of medi-gel to ease the pain as he died. There was a very slim chance he would survive his wounds. I hesitated when I saw his eyes light up with relief.
"My sister burned to death, you know." I said to him, low enough so only he could hear. "The flesh under her face melted and fused her eyelids together. The smoke from the chemicals seared her lungs, but it wasn't the poison that killed her. She was in so much pain it was the shock that stopped her heart. Can you imagine that?"
He let out a choked sob in response peered down at him.
"I – I know" He tilted his chin towards me. "Butcher…" he realized.
I swallowed hard and administered the medi-gel, running from the title he bestowed.
"Alliance will be here soon." I said coolly and stood.
I now had a singular goal in my mind: get Balak.
It had been an easy fight to the main facility, encountering only two more mercs guarding the door to the entrance. Kaidan's team was stacked on the opposite side, trying to breach the door simultaneous to us, but our timing was a little off.
My team entered the main facility first. It's vaulted ceilings and exposed rock allowed for intricate staircases designed in spired aesthetic. A massive tree, its origin Terra Nova, centered the room with offices arranged in three levels around it.
Balak stood at the highest level in what was likely a conference room, designed to look over the entire space, safely behind a shield generator a level above us.
The entire place was wired with explosives. Not simple proximity mines, but countless ten-kilo detonation charges placed strategically around the building.
There were enough explosives here to vaporize everything inside. I knew right then and there, no matter what I said or what I did, this bomb would be detonated.
I started rushing through my options as I approached Balak, a scowl permanently plastered on my face.
"You should have killed me when you had the chance." He shouted.
"It seems that way."
He smiled. "I was forced into exile. Forced into begging and scrounging like an animal. Like all batarians! I'm doing this for them!"
I raised my rifle at him and my team did the same. "Killing innocent humans proves nothing but your own cowardice!"
Suddenly, I heard my radio key 3 times very distinctly, and I prayed it was Kaidan letting me know he had not only breached the doors but was moving to the third torch.
"You invaded our space, took our resources! You have killed just as many!"
"You want my attention? You got it, Balak. What do you want? Let's talk" I stalled.
He snorted. "We'll see if you can make good on your promise this time. I'm leaving this asteroid. This bomb is going off whether you save your friends or not."
"We can talk about this!" I lied. "Just let the hostages go."
"No." He said unperturbed. "You can come for me, or you can save your friends. I wonder how the butcher will choose."
I swallowed hard. "I will find you, Balak."
He cocked his head to the left. A derogatory gesture in batarian society. "I look forward to it."
Balak disappeared into the intricate office labyrinth and my attention shifted to a group of civilians banging loudly on the glass in an adjacent office.
"Oh my god, Shepard." Ashley hissed, her voice raw with fear and nervous energy.
Muffled voices called out to us "It's here! The trigger is here!"
The size of the blast from the explosives would be enormous, vaporizing anything in its path. It wouldn't be contained within the building either. We wouldn't be completely safe even if we got out.
There was a chance I could disarm the trigger before it went off. If I had enough time to find it. And if there wasn't a back-up. And if it was a manufacturer that I was familiar with. And if there weren't any fail safes built in to prevent manual overrides.
I could go for Balak and let the team deal with the bomb, but an image flashed in my minds eye of catching him while everything else went up in smoke. I bet he had a fail-safe on him, the bastard.
I started barking orders and the radio became chaos.
Wrex charged the glass walls of the office, shattering the make-shift prison and allowing us access to the trigger.
Kaidan kept working on the torch while Garrus provided him cover.
Tali ran towards the bomb trigger faster than I've ever seen anyone run in my life while Liara and Ash scrambled to move the civilians to safety.
I stood in the center, near the trigger, directing the show like an orchestral conductor, calling the arrangements in my symphony of chaos.
The opus was complete in seconds and the sound of silence greater than any applause.
When the Alliance cavalry finally arrived, we piled back into the Mako and shuttle and made our way for home.
I sat in the med bay, watching Dr. Chakwas carefully wrap my arm in gauze, and turned away when she administered several needles to stop any infection the varen had given me.
"Fights off a varen with one hand and is still afraid of needles." She chuckled. "Stay here for ten minutes and then you can go."
I sat there for a few seconds, mulling through my past. Wondering if this situation could have been prevented if I had killed Balak on Torfan like I had wanted. Wondering what the consequences would be for not killing him again.
"Are you alright?" Her soft voice went right through me and I let out a heavy sigh.
"Yeah." I sat up straight and turned towards her. "I'm fine. How are you?"
"I am doing fine." She reached for my arm and looked at me requesting consent. I nodded and she gently examined the gauze. "This will leave a scar."
"One more for the collection I guess." I watched her eyes as they raked over my arm, eventually settling on a jagged scar on the palm of my hand, just below my thumb. Her fingers grazed over it.
"You have many." She said as her eyes met mine.
"A few."
"From battles."
I let out a tired amused breath. "Not as many as you think." I pointed to the small scar on my chin. "My brother and I were playing catch with a bicycle peddle...we were young...and my sister called my name so I turned to look at her and the peddle hit me in the face."
A surprised laugh escaped her and she smiled. I smiled back and rubbed the trademark scar on the top of my head. "I usually tell people I got it in a bar fight."
"And the truth?"
My hand went to the back of my neck and I closed my eyes and sighed. "The truth is...I was eight years old, and I was cutting carrots, again under the supervision of my big brother. The knife slipped and I cut the whole pad of my finger off." I held up my left index finger and waved it. "Anyway, I looked down at the cutting board and saw the blood, and the tiny piece of flesh I cut off, and I got dizzy, and nausious. And I passed out."
"Oh Goddess, you hit your head on the knife?"
"No. I hit my head on the door handle of one of the cupboards on the way down. My brother covered it with a wet cloth until my mom got home. I didn't cry until she reacted to all the blood on the floor." I started laughing at the memory. I hadn't told that story to anyone, I hadn't even thought about it in years.
She laughed with me and sat down on the bed across from me.
My expression faded into seriousness. "You said you wanted to know more about me?"
"Yes."
"I should have killed him. I almost killed him once before, and I didn't, and look what happened."
"You saved four million lives."
"They could have all died. We could have died." I paused. "You could have died."
"But I didn't." She smiled. "There is a school of thought that suggests an inverse function of the number of people affected by an act of given magnitude concentrates the effect. That is to say that when a calamity is spread across many faces, it is hard to feel anything more than numbed. But when a calamity is focused on a single few, it is easier to express feelings such as...anger. It seems Balak has done the same with you in mind."
I thought about it for a few seconds and slowly met her eyes. "What is it about you." I said, "that makes me feel like I've known you for so many years."
"Because I like you." She said, nothing but genuine sincerity in her tone. "And I don't want anything from you."
"You said you looked into my file. That you wanted to know more about me..." I took a deep breath. "Why?"
I instantly became nervous awaiting her response. Would she think I was a monster? Would she be repulsed by me? Would she demand to be off the ship and away from my influence the second we had found her mother?
Why did I even care?
Of course I cared about what people thought of me, but so long as I could work with them and they respected me, all was well. Why did I care about what Liara thought of me, specifically.
You know why. I thought.
And I knew I was in trouble.
Liara pondered the question for a few seconds before answering simply, "I wanted to know."
I prayed she couldn't see the sweat forming on my brow.
"I want to - if you're - I want to ask you if any of it makes you...uncomfortable." I stumbled.
"I'm not uncomfortable with you, Shepard." She answered quickly, reaching her hand for my knee like she had days ago. I flinched at the contact, energy surging through my body, causing my heart to race. "In fact, I'm quite comfortable with you."
"That's good." I mumbled stupidly. "I'd like you to be comfortable here - with me - I mean the ship."
She smiled and took pity on me, helping me off the stretcher and onto my feet.
"Feel better, Commander." She said to me as I left the med-bay.
I did.