Chapter 4: Hotel Tazmania Chaos
The next morning, Bob came into a rather quiet Hotel Tazmania. Mr. Thickly hopped over, looking like he had been roughed up. "I cannot describe how happy I am to see you sir," he said exhausted. "Your not even gonna say good morning to me?!" Bob scoffed, "Doesn't surprise me in the slightest you excuse for a wallaby!" "I don't think you understand sir," Mr. Thickly explained, "A guest came here in the middle of the night and has scared off half of the other guests. I heard Taz had an awful experience with this man once and now I got to experience it first hand." "Well, less pathetic customers to deal with then!" Bob said relieved.
Just then, the phone rang. "Oh no, it's him," Mr. Thickly whimpered. Bob picked up the phone, "Hello?...Who is this?...Excuse me?!...Who do you think you are?!...Well I'm the boss and I'll tell you what, GET IT YOURSELF MUSCLE MARY!!!" Bob slammed the phone down. Loud stomps could be heard and by this point, Mr. Thickly knew Bob was toast. Bob read a magazine while sitting on one of the chairs when he heard the stomps getting louder and louder. He eventually put down the magazine and got up to see who it was. The man who Bob had ticked off was none other than Rex the Wreaker.
"Aww, does someone here wanna tell me a sob story?" Bob teased. "YOU LISTEN HERE HOTEL MANAGER!" Rex bellowed, "YOUR GONNA GIVE ME BREAKFAST UP TO MY ROOM WHETHER YOU LIKE IT OR NOT! AND IF YOU MAKE ANY NOISE, THAN I WILL-" "Oh tisk, tisk," Bob said, not being fazed by Rex in the slightest, "You clearly don't know what the word manager means! As manager, that means I have the right to-" Before Bob could finish, Rex grabbed the chair Bob sat on prior so fast that Bob didn't have time to react before getting slammed by it. Bob got up wobbling, "I see stars and your not one of them." Rex then dropped a drawer on Bob that he got from somewhere within the lobby. "Is that all you got?" Bob said slowly crawling out from the broken drawer, trying to hide his pain. Rex then got a ladder, climbed to the top, then jumped off it. "Mother-" Bob quietly said but was slammed down upon by Rex. This also broke the drawer which caused a dust cloud big enough for Mr. Thickly to not be able to see what was going on. However, he could still hear what was going on. "What are you doing with my arms and hands you oversized motor boat?!" asked Bob. "I call this, the predator!" Rex growled. "Oh no, that's my nose! THAT'S MY NOSE! THAT'S MY NO-" A pop noise could be heard and Bob came out of the dust with his arms in his nose and hands out his ears. "Mr. Thickly, give this madman breakfast room service before he turns me into a pretzel," Bob said through gridded teeth.
While the chaos at Hotel Tazmania was going on, Bull, Axl, and Francis waited for Agent Townly to show up outside the Boulder Museum. "Not a very convenient place to wait, especially with the thoughts of boulders in the vicinity," Francis said. "It's not like they're gonna fall on us out of nowhere," replied Axl. "You don't know that Axl," said Bull, "It's happened before and it could happen again at any time." Just then, the black limo shot up and drifted off the dirt road and onto the grass. "I think that one guy doesn't know how to drive well," murmered Francis.
The back right door opened up where Agent Townly poked his head out. "Get in boys!" he called. The 3 ran to the limo and got in. "So I talked with my supervisor," explained Townly, "He does in fact know you guys and in fact, you guys know him." "Gee, who is it?" asked Axl. "That's something I must keep classified for now. Anyway," Townly continued, "He tells me from what he knows, this Tasmanian Devil works at the Hotel Tazmania. You guys would know I'm sure." "Yep, he sure does," said Bull, "One time me and Axl went in to capture Taz while he was working, but that ended in us getting subsequently kicked out, quite literally. We made a mess in the dinning hall during a special event we didn't know about." "Why do you have so many more adventures with trying to capture him than me?!" asked Francis jealously, "I don't get nearly as lucky as you 2 gators do!" "Well, we do fail more often," said Axl, "Think of it like this, you don't have to face as many failures as-" "Shut up Axl," whispered Bull, not wanting Francis to know about their failures.
Agent Townly closed the door and said, "You 3 obviously have some problems that I need to discuss with you about on the way to Hotel Tazmania. My supervisor has also told me what he knows about you 3, so that I can know you 3 better. Until then, enjoy these new speakers he installed into here! Crank up the radio Lachlan!" The driver turned up the radio and the song playing was Painkiller by Judas Priest. Bull, Axl, and Francis covered their ears because of how loud it was. Agent Townly then went up to Lachlan and shouted, "GET ON THE HIGHWAY! GO GO GO!" "Yes Mr. Townly," replied Lachlan panicky as he floored it out of the Boulder Museum and onto the highway nearby. Townly giggled and whispered "Don't worry guys, I do this to him all the time. Hints why you saw us skid earlier." He turned his attention back to Lachlan as they were getting off an exit with a sign that said: HOTEL TAZMANIA 2 MILES AWAY, "NOW CUT ACROSS 4 LANES OF TRAFFIC!" The limo went through the lanes without stopping, which didn't cause an accident but did cause traffic disruptions.
Agent Townly went back to Bull, Axl, and Francis. They were about to get a piece of his mind and see a side of him they hadn't seen yet. "Now I need to talk to you guys," he said, "Starting with you Bull, you never stop and think your plans through and never considered ACTUALLY getting a new partner! Also, what kind of name is Bull? Is it short for Bullshit? Bullshitter? Because that's what it sounds like. As for you Axl, were you dropped on your head or something when you were a baby? Because you need a new brain or a new job man. And lastly there's Francis, while your plans are certainly clever and crafted very well, I think there are some flaws you were never prepared for. Also, put on some clothes kid! Walking around wearing a diaper is in no way helping at convincing people you wanna achieve your manhood." "It's not a diaper," said Francis, "It's called-" "I don't remember asking!" Townly interrupted, "Anyway, that's that. What I suggest is you guys cut this little rivalry out and fix your individual issues, or you will never get what you guys want. Only you guys can make a difference, I'm just the advice giver."
They pulled up to Hotel Tazmania right at the front entrance. "It's showtime," Agent Townly said to himself. They got out one by one except for Lachlan, who stayed in the limo.
In the hotel, Bob pulled his arms and hands out of his nose and ears. "The decency of some," he murmured. Bull, Axl, and Francis made their entrance in which Bob was quick to notice. "Ugh, your not here to come after one of my employees again are you?" Bob sighed, "Because you are out of luck! And who is the kid in the diaper?" "It's not a diaper!" replied Francis, "It's a loincloth for crying out loud!" "We must search this place out Mr. Manager," said Bull, "If there's a problem, talk with our new companion Agent Townly." "Step aside Bull, I'll take the explaining from here," Townly said as he came from behind, "Agent Townly, from the Acme Branch of Tazmania." Bob looked at his badge and said, "Nice fake badge. What's next, your friend's with the police chief?" "Okay, I give you guys permission to search this place," said Townly to Bull, Axl, and Francis, "Search every room, every closet, every-" "Or you could just leave!" Bob shouted before a good amount of glue on his mouth which was shot out of a weird looking gun that Agent Townly used. "Hey, beanbag with arms and legs," Townly said in an annoyed tone, "Mommy's trying to talk to the kids." Bob ran around panicking as he couldn't get the glue off his mouth, following with some pretty muffled screams. "That's not permanent on him, is it?" asked Axl. "Did he just call us his kids?" asked Francis. "It only lasts about 30 seconds," Townly said, "And forget what I said earlier, just search the hotel!" The 3 did so as they mostly split up.
Francis ran down the halls, checking every room as he did so. Some of which had folks in it. "Where are you?" he asked himself. He eventually went out the back and looked around, but didn't have much luck. Unfortunately for Francis, he got too carried away with looking and accidentally fell off the cliff nearby and into the water. "Well that's just fantastic," Francis snorted, "Now I have to find land with a way back up there." He then saw shark fins closing in on him. "Oh my," he gulped.
Meanwhile, Bull and Axl were going through every room on every floor with tremendous speed, until Mr. Thickly came into their view. "Whatever you lads do," he stated, "Don't go near room 510, unless you want to meet a special someone!" "That must mean Taz is in that room Axl!" said Bull with joy. "That must be a sign!" replied Axl. They ran to room 510 with their nets out and went for what they presumed was Taz. "Gotcha!" said Bull as he and Axl had their nets over this individual's head. It of course wasn't Taz, it was Rex, as he huffed and puffed with pure anger; which went from growling to shouting. "Gee Bull, what do we do now?" asked Axl panicked. "Well Axl, prepare for us to experience massive and excruciating pain," replied Bull. Rex grabbed both Bull and Axl by their throats and while it wasn't seen what was going on, Bull and Axl's yelps and whimpers of pain could be heard from outside Rex's room.
Bob finally got the glue off his mouth. "What the heavens is going on this morning?!" he bellowed, "Has the world really gone against me for getting rid of that excuse for a marsupial?!" "You done? Or do I need to use my glue gun again?" asked Agent Townly, "I need to know where that Tasmanian Devil is." "What does it matter to you so much for?" asked Bob, "I suspended him alright?! There's your answer! I haven't seen him since then!" "Took you long enough," said Townly as he rolled his eyes, "This could've been answered from the very start but you just had to sit here and waste my time. One more thing though..." The agent went to a closet where the employees stuff was and a computer. He looked around and on the computer, in which it confirmed it was who they were looking for.
As he went back to the lobby, Francis came in with many cuts and looked wet. "What happened to you?" asked Townly. "I refuse to talk about it," said Francis, "Definitely no Tasmanian Devil where I went." Then Bull and Axl came down. Bull looked flat as a pancake, while Axl's arms and legs were in so many unnatural directions. "We didn't find the devil," said Axl. "But we sure got a beating," said Bull. "Turns out Taz was never here and we did all that searching for nothing," explained Townly, "On the bright side, now I have a feeling where he is. But first, I gotta take you guys to my boss." They all left to go to go into the limo.
When they got outside, the horn was continuously blowing. Turns out, the spy fell asleep at an unknown point. Rex could hear it from his hotel room which made him run out of his room and make his way to where this was occurring. Townly knocked on the window where Lachlan was sleeping and he immediately got up. "Oh my goodness, forgive me sir," he said shaking. As Bull, Axl, and Francis got into the limo, Rex ran outside. "WHO HERE IS MAKING ALL THIS NOISE?!" he yelled. "Nobody muscle man," replied Townly, "And by the way, the gym is near the lobby and to the right." "Are you trying to challenge me skinny man?" Rex growled as he got right up in the agent's face, "I'll have you know, I am a naturally born-" Suddenly, Rex was uppercuted by Townly hard enough to send him flying straight up as he screamed. He fell back down going through all the floors of Hotel Tazmania until he hit the lobby, nearby the front desk where Bob was. "Oh, come on!" Bob complained. Rex slowly tried to get up despite the injuries he sustained, but was knocked out cold when a bathtub with Buddy Boar inside fell on him. "This is a unique hotel experience," he said.
"Naturally born annoying fits his description," Agent Townly said annoyed, "Besides the obvious amount of steroids he probably takes." He then got into the limo with Bull, Axl, and Francis looking at him in disbelief. "How did you do that?" asked Francis. "I had an energy drink before picking you guys up," replied Townly, "Might not sound like much but if I didn't have one this morning, I would have for sure been turned into something. Anyway, now it's time for us to visit the boss!" They drove off from Hotel Tazmania and while they did, Townly got into Lachlan's ear and whispered, "Red light cameras are everywhere, don't run a single one." "Gee, I think your scaring him," said Axl.
To be continued in the next chapter...
(Chapter 4 published 7/1/22)