A/N: Just in case any of you might possibly think we're trying to claim this as our own, it's not. All characters and world-building belong to JK Rowling and the Harry Potter Series.

Severus threw his teaching robes over the chair in his living area. It was a successful end to another teaching day. No explosion, no egregious injuries, and no interhouse squabbles. If only every day could be like this.

He turned to his kitchen, watching as the teapot began to steam. A nice cuppa and a good book sounded mighty fine right now. He could afford to leave off the grading for one day. After all, he had until after Christmas break to finish them.

He dropped into his seat with a sigh as he set down his mug. What should he read tonight? There were a few potions magazines he'd been meaning to catch up on, one or two classics strewn about, and he had meant to get to Red Dragon, that supposed best-seller of the year.

"Severus," a voice called, echoing through the chambers. He scanned the room. Who was here? Why couldn't he see them? "Severus, in the fire."

The potions master glanced down to see Lucius Malfoy's head poking out of his floo. The man's face contorted into a glare as the young professor smirked.

"Enjoying yourself down there, Lucy?"

"You know very well I don't like to make floo calls."

The dark man quirked a brow. "Yet, here you are."

"Yes, well," Lucius sniffed, "it's not some social visit, I assure you."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Come on over. No need to stay in such an undignified position for whatever must be said."

Lucius appeared in the fireplace, dusting off his robes as he did so.

"Maybe Vernon's got something there about those new-fangled flying machines," the blond grumbled as he took a seat.

"Well?" Severus drawled, brow quirked. Lucius cocked his head. "To what do I owe the pleasure of your presence?"

"Cissy took the boys out today."

"The boys?" Severus crossed his arms. "As in plural?"

"Well, of course Draco. However, she has found it difficult to invite Harry to things without including the Dudley imp."

Severus nodded. In those few weeks he'd lived in his new home, he'd struggled to find times to devote specifically to the Potter boy without the added burden of caring for the blond ape.

"And you are concerned why?" Severus shrugged. "The Dursley boy can be difficult—and he is most assuredly spoiled—but that is not reason to floo over to Hogwarts."

"Do you have any idea what they plan to do for Christmas, Sev?"

"Acknowledging the fact that it is a holiday devoted to family, I'm going to assume they want to go to some remote island and escape all social interaction."

"They plan on seeing that Marge woman."

Severus's lips trembled, fighting the laugh that played at the back of his throat. That vile woman had spent the last week of summer at the Dursley household, and Lucius had the displeasure of running into her.

"And?" Severus asked, hiding a chuckle in a cough.

"That woman makes it near impossible to turn over a new leaf when it concerns my views on muggles." Lucius shook his head. "I realize not all muggles should die a slow, painful death, but she definitely should."

"I still don't see your point, Luc."

"She came by for the weekend after you left."

Severus's eyes narrowed. "Can you get to the point, brother mine?"

"She obtained for herself a pup."

"Adorable. Unless Harry suddenly developed an allergy to pet dander, I'm sure he'll be fine."

"A rottweiler pup?"

"And that's supposed to make a difference?"

Lucius crossed his arms. "That thing went straight for Harry and bit him."

"Dogs do tend to be like their owners."

"She gave him a treat as a reward."

"What do you want me to do, Luc?" Severus shrugged. "I'm the junior professor here. I have to stay with the students so those with seniority can enjoy their holiday."

"Do you have Polyjuice?"

"Yes?"

"Give me a lock of your hair and I will stand in at strategic times so everyone thinks you're here."

"And leave the students to their own devices the rest of the time?" Severus rubbed his eyes. "Wouldn't it be easier for you to take care of the boy for a week?"

"He's your godson."

"No, he's not."

"He's as good as," Lucius said, scowling. "And he asks about you all the time. He wants you back."

Severus took a deep breath. "Fine." He rubbed his neck. "But we are going to need a lot of Polyjuice."

The next day, Severus dropped his bags in his home at Privet Drive. Frost escaped his lips as he breathed. Didn't Lucius have the decency to start up the heat for him? He set about placing warming charms around the living area before moving upstairs and turning on the heater. No reason to waste all his energy when muggles had appropriate methods all their own.

Now that his home had begun heating itself, he could devote his time to checking in on Harry. He crossed the yard and banged on the door.

"Tuney, Tuney, you in there?"

The door creaked open to reveal a pinch-faced Petunia in hair curlers and a robe.

"Do you have any idea what time it is, Snape?" Petunia asked, her voice trembling.

"It's late enough for most people to be awake," Severus said, leaning against the weather vane.

"It is seven in the morning. I was up all night with a colicky Dudley." She sighed. "My poor Duddykins is sick."

"What a travesty," Severus said, sarcasm dripping from his voice. He crossed his arms, brow quirked. "Is Harry alright?"

She shrugged. "Don't know. Haven't seen him in three days."

"What?" Severus asked, standing straight. He rushed into the house. "How the hell do you not see a toddler in three days?"

"You put them in time out." Petunia glared. "He ruined our supper last week."

"What did he do? Throw food across the table?" He dropped his voice. "I mean, it's hardly his fault if he can't use a fork."

"No, he put glass in it."

Severus's mouth dropped. "You had him cooking?"

"Of course not, Snape." She scowled. "Though, that's not a terrible idea. Another good use for him."

"He's two, Petunia. He shouldn't be near a stove."

"Well, he wasn't supposed to be."

"What did he do?"

Petunia crossed her arms. "He was getting out the plates to set the table and he dropped one, the clumsy oaf."

"Do I have to repeat myself?" Severus's eyes narrowed. "He's two."

"The plate shattered, glass everywhere. It ended up in the food. I had to order take out."

"Okay, let me get this straight." Severus rubbed his eyes. "You had a two-year-old, who can't even hold a fork or lift a pound, setting the table for dinner."

"He needs to pull his weight around here."

"And to punish him for failing a task he is physically incapable of doing, you gave him a time-out for three days?"

Petunia nodded. "He deserved it."

The wizard took several deep breaths. "Where is he?"

"Cupboard…"

"…Under the stairs." Severus moaned. "I know, I know."

He ran over and opened the door to the cupboard and recoiled in shock. Harry laid on his cot, covered in vomit and coughing up half a lung. He walked over and placed a hand gently on the boy's forehead, which was radiating enough heat to warm up his home. Severus took several more deep breaths. He turned back to his nemesis.

"You left a two-year-old boy in a cold cupboard, without food, without water, in a plague-infested home?"

"You seem very impressed that he's two-years-old," Petunia said, scowling.

"He's near death!" The man scooped up the boy after casting a Tergeo on him. He ran across the yard to his house, slamming the door with his foot.

"Sevvie?" Harry called out weakly, holding up an arm to grab onto the man's robes.

"Hello, Harry," the potions master said calmly, readjusting the boy in his arms. "How are you feeling?"

Harry whimpered, but shrugged. "Good?"

Severus set the boy down in the tub and rubbed his forehead. "There is no right or wrong answer here, Harry. Just the truth should suffice." The boy stared back at him, brow furrowed. "Tell me the truth. Remember what that means? We went over it this summer."

"Not lie," Harry said, before a coughing episode left him without breath to respond further.

"Right. Not lie." Severus crossed his arms. "Now, is it a lie that you feel good?" The boy nodded slowly. "Then, tell me how you really feel."

Harry recoiled, casting his eyes down to the ground. "Hot."

"Okay."

"Hurt."

"I can handle that," Severus said, turning to his medicine cabinet and scanning his supply of potions. "What hurts?"

"Here," Harry said, pointing to his chest.

"What else?"

"Nose." The young boy pointed to his nose, which currently had snot running down it.

"Obviously," Severus mumbled to himself. "Does your stomach feel ill?"

"Wha?"

The dark man furrowed his brow. What did Cissy usually say to Draco after eating too much? "Does your tummy hurt?"

The boy nodded. "And here." He pointed to his neck.

"Your throat too, eh?"

"Uh-hu."

"Oi," Severus said, grabbing several vials. "You did have to get the flu when I was supposed to be gone, didn't you?" Harry's lip trembled and tears streaked his cheeks. "I'm not mad at you, Potter. I'm mad at the fates, Petunia Dursley, and Albus Dumbledore. Not necessarily in that order."

"Aunt Tunia?"

"Yes, your aunt Petunia." The potions master walked over and began rubbing some vapor rub on the boy's chest. "The vile woman doesn't know how to care for a house plant, let alone a two-year-old. Dumbledore's insane to believe for one moment that you are properly cared for…" The man continued mumbling to himself as he measured out the proper amount of potions, taking care to ensure no interactions that could be harmful to an underweight toddler.

He picked up the boy and walked over to the make-shift nursery he'd created back in July, when Tuney insisted on taking Dudley to the beach and refused to bring Harry with. That had been a fun adventure. At least Severus now had boxes of Draco's old hand-me-downs to properly dress the Potter scion. He put Harry in a dragon onesie and gently carried him over to the rocking chair.

"I can't believe I've been reduced to nanny," Severus grumbled, trying to adjust the boy into a position similar to Cissy's when she'd rock Draco to sleep. "However, you need rest, and I don't see you falling asleep on your own." He scowled. "And don't give any cheek for that, Mr. Potter. I'll remind you of the last time you stayed overnight here and I ended up with three kittens I had to get rid of. I should never have left that book on baby animals in your crib."

"Kitty," Harry said, smiling up at Severus.

"Yes, kitty. Kitty here, kitty there, kitty in my underwear drawer. It was hilarious."

"Want kitty."

"No more kitties," Severus groaned, rubbing his head.

"Puppies?"

"No, they are against school code. I could at least give away kitties to my first-years. Minerva would have my head if I started handing out Pomeranians."

"Sleepy," Harry said, snuggling into Snape's arms.

"Yes, Potter, go to sleep." The boy's eyelids fluttered, and Severus walked over to the crib. The boy fussed momentarily before finally settling in for a nap.

He went downstairs to do some light dusting. He might as well be productive while the boy slept, and with the house lying dormant for three months he was not about to brew some potions until he knew for sure there was no dust lying around. He'd just reached the mantel and picked up the portraits lying around when the floo flared.

"Severus," Cissy called, panicking.

"Yes, Cissy?" Severus asked, brow quirked.

"I need you immediately. You and your potions, now."

"What seems to be the matter?"

"My dragon's sick."

Severus smirked. "Then take him to a vet."

"Draco, you idiot."

"This is what you get for naming your child after a reptile."

"Are we going to sit here and argue about onomatology or are you going to come over here and fix my baby?"

The dark man sighed. "As much as I'd love to come and visit the great Malfoy mansion, I cannot leave my abode currently."

"And why not?"

"Sick two-year-old seems to be catchy. I apparently have one, too."

Narcissa gasped. "Harry's sick, as well?"

"And Dudley. It's the trifecta."

"They should be quarantined."

"From what?" Severus shook his head. "It's the flu, Cissa, not the measles or dragon pox. It's quite natural for children their age to get."

"Severus! They aren't old enough to properly fight off the flu…"

"Just bring Draco over and we'll have a grand illness promenade."

The floo flared and Narcissa walked in carrying a monstrous bundle of blankets.

Severus quirked a brow. "I told you to bring Draco, not your laundry."

"I did," she said, moving a corner of the blanket to reveal a cranky toddler. "I can't seem to keep him warm."

"By jove, dear woman, are you trying to smother your son?" Severus pulled the boy out of the small fort his mother covered him in. "Don't you know it's bad to overheat someone with a fever?"

"I didn't know what to do, okay?" She placed her hands on her hips. "He said he was cold."

"If he said he wanted ice cream and candy, would you have given those to him, too?"

"In moderation? Of course."

Severus shook his head. "Repeat after me: sweets are bad for those trying to get better."

"Shut up and heal my child."

"What are you expecting from me? Lay hands on the boy and say a prayer? I'm not muggle Jesus, you know. I don't do miracles."

"Give him potions or I'll slap you."

"Just give her what she wants, Sev," Lucius said, popping in with an anti-anxiety pill. "She's a Black. They don't do well with the word 'no'." He turned to his wife. "Sweetheart, take your Xanax."

"What are you doing with a muggle medicine?" Severus asked, setting Draco next to Harry in the crib before measuring out potions.

"I supposedly run a muggle pharmaceutical company. I decided to check one out. They are dead useful."

"Lucius, you didn't…"

"If Dursley ever asks, you work at AstraZeneca medical facility."

Severus dropped the now empty potions decanter. "You bought a pharmaceutical company?"

"Yes," Lucius said, smiling. "And I must say, it is doing quite well. In September, it barely made it into the top one-hundred companies. Now, it is in the top ten."

"Good for you, Lucius. Plan on giving a report to the council of lords next month?"

"Not sure how they'd feel about me owning a muggle company, but I've considered it…"

"Considering you're our resident spy now that I've been outed, I do not advise telling them you've gone soft," Severus said, covering the two boys with a blanket before ushering the adults to the living room.

"I haven't gone soft." Lucius huffed. "I've just notice how useful they are."

Severus shook his head. "Where was this Lucius four years ago when I said, 'Hey Luce, how about we don't follow your father into the death eaters?'"

"He was busy trying to impress the Blacks enough to marry their daughter."

"Luce, I hate to break it to you, it was you or Sirius Black, and even the Blacks recognized they needed some new blood in the gene pool."

"Enough talking about my disturbingly similar family tree," Narcissa said, dropping into a seat next to the fire. "What are we going to do about Draco and Harry?"

"There's nothing to do," Severus said, grabbing up a potions journal. "We just sit here and wait it out."

"Unacceptable."

"What are you going to do? Avada Kedavra the virus away?"

Narcissa's eyes lit up. "Is that possible?"

"Not without killing your son."

Lucius gazed at the nearest bookcase, scanning the titles. "Do you have something interesting to take to this month's lord's meeting?"

"By Merlin, they're having another?" Severus asked, dropping his magazine.

"They are monthly, Severus."

"I thought they named them that because they take a month to complete."

"Now you're overexaggerating."

Severus shook his head. "What do you even have to talk about every month?"

"Come by some time and you'll see."

"No, no way. That's how they get you."

"Severus, you claimed your title as lord Prince. You do eventually have to attend these meetings, as well."

"So far, I've done a fair job avoiding them," Severus said, picking up his journal once more. "What's their point, anyway?"

"It's the equivalent of the house of lords in Parliament."

"You fought for days on the colors for the aurors department."

Lucius moaned. "Oh, Merlin, I forgot that was on the docket again."

"But…" Severus's eyes narrowed. "You just painted it."

Narcissa rolled her eyes. "It's mostly a social gathering to keep the men from driving their wives insane."

"Sounds like the HOA meetings."

"What's an HOA?"

Severus waved her off. "Just some stuffy housewives sitting around making up rules for the neighborhood to follow."

"Sounds like fun. Can I come to the next one?"

"You don't own a home here."

"That could change."

Lucius's eyes sparkled. "I could buy the whole block."

"Please don't. I don't want to answer to you," Severus said, eyes rolling.

"It could keep the Dursleys in line."

"Technically, they are in line. Unless you plan on doing daily random checks of cupboards, you'll never catch them."

"Could we do that?"

The potions master shook his head. "Not without several human rights' violations."

"And that's a problem?" Lucius asked, scowling.

"Yes."

Within a few days, Draco and Harry were back to being bouncing, bubbly toddlers once more. With the Dursleys out of town, Severus watched Harry for the remainder of the Christmas break.

The potions master sighed as he watched the Malfoy house elf bring in a large Christmas tree. "Do they seriously expect me to participate in this celebration?"

The house elf did not answer, but rather snapped its fingers and made a bundle of presents appear. Harry giggled, pouring imaginary water into his toy cauldron.

"Tree."

"Yes, Harry, tree," Severus said, sitting down next to the boy. "And those big boxes are presents foisted on us by the Malfoys."

"Presents."

"Yes." The dark man studied the boy. "Tomorrow, you'll get to open your presents."

"Harry presents?" the boy asked, brow furrowed.

"Yes, Harry gets presents. Presents from Lucius, presents from Narcissa, presents from Draco, presents from me…"

"Sevvie present?"

Severus quirked a brow. "Are you asking me if I'm getting you presents, or are you asking me if I'm getting presents?"

"Sevvie present?"

"That doesn't answer my question." He shook his head. "I'll answer both. I'm giving you a present and the Malfoys usually insist on getting me a few presents, too."

The boy smiled and crawled over to the potions master. He held up a plastic apple from the container of old toys he'd found in the Dursleys' attic.

"That's an apple. It was a toy your mummy used to play with."

"Mummy?"

"Yes," Severus said, his throat tightening. "Your mummy used to play with that toy. She liked to play store with it."

Harry's eyes sparkled. He offered the trinket to the potions master. "Sevvie present."

"What?" the man asked, brow furrowed.

"Harry give Sevvie present."

Severus choked. He cleared his throat several times to loosen it enough to speak. "You want to give me a present?" The boy nodded. "And you want to give me your mummy's apple?"

"Yes."

Severus smiled slightly. He took the apple and placed it on the mantle. "Thank you, Harry. I'll take very good care of it."

The boy went back to playing, not paying any attention to the man now staring at him. Somehow, the little one currently playing with a plastic cauldron and some lint didn't realize that he'd given the man everything he never knew he needed. Hopefully, Severus could find a way to do the same for Harry.