A/N: All of the characters belong to JK Rowling. We're just having a little fun. Hope you enjoy!

"Erg." Severus threw his latest ruined potion over the table in an uncharacteristic display of emotion. He sighed, rubbing his eyes.

"Everything alright in here?" Remus asked, drying his hands with a towel. It had been his night to do dishes, and he was just finishing up when he'd heard glass shatter.

"I just need time."

"Anything I can help with?"

"Unless you know what I could use as a numbing agent that won't interact with the moonstone in your Wolfsbane, I'd highly recommend you remain silent," the potions master said, laying his head on his arms. "I wish there was some way I could observe you on a full moon without fear of dismemberment."

"Have you ever thought of becoming an animagus?" The werewolf sat down on a stool opposite his roommate.

The dark man quirked a brow. "And that would help me why?"

"Werewolves don't attack animals, only humans."

Silence filled the room. The two men stared at one another.

"Why didn't you tell me this before?" Severus asked, raising his voice and his hands.

"You didn't ask."

"Had I known there was a possible way to observe you safely, I would have asked more about it. However, I was under the impression nothing could stop a wolf on the prowl."

"What's this about a wolf?" Lucius asked, walking in with Draco on his hip.

"Malfoy?" Remus's eyes narrowed. "What are you doing here?"

"I can't come to check in on my friends?"

"Narcissa kicked you out, didn't she?" Severus smirked, turning back to grab a few ingredients for the next step of his Wolfsbane.

"No woman has that power over me…"

"What did you do this time?"

"Well, Septimus was lonely…"

"Wait," Remus held up a hand, "who's Septimus?"

Severus moaned, rubbing his forehead. "Lucius, tell me you didn't buy more peacocks."

"But you weren't there. Cassius and Cassiopeia were begging to come home with me. They had the most adorable black eyes."

"Adorable is not the word I would use for peacocks," the lycanthrope mumbled, massaging his temples. With only days until the full moon, loud noises were starting to get to him again.

"Lucius, if you buy one more animal, you'll have enough to start a zoo," Severus said, ignoring the wolf for the time being.

"Now you're just sounding like Narcissa." The blond set his son down on the ground and Draco toddled over to the stairs to go find Harry. "So, what's this about wolves?"

"I am one?" Remus said, trying not to vomit at the scent of Lucius's cologne.

Severus turned to his friend. "Were you aware werewolves don't attack other animals?"

"No, I assumed they attacked everything in sight," Lucius said, furrowing his brow.

"We aren't actually beasts! I don't know how many times I'm going to have to repeat myself." Remus straightened. "Excuse me." He ran off to the connected bathroom. Retching sounds echoed through the cellar moments later.

"Is he alright?"

The potions master rolled his eyes. "He's had this condition for most of his life, yet he still insists on coming down here only a few days before the full moon." He sighed, rubbing his eyes. "His senses are in overdrive. He gets awful migraines and ends up quite nauseated."

The lycanthrope dragged himself out of the bathroom. "Shouldn't you be more concerned about your son? You did just set him loose in a potion master's home. We have stinging nettle and bloodroot growing in the gardens, and no matter how many times I tell him to move it, there is a bottle of arsenic in the bottom cupboard."

"It's warded," Severus said, glaring. "I'm not a complete idiot."

"I think Narcissa would be more upset if I killed her son," Lucius said, shrugging. "However, seeing as Draco can't open a door yet…"

Wails echoed throughout the chamber.

Remus turned to Severus. "Somebody found a door, apparently."

"Would you mind? I can't leave the potion at this moment or it will explode."

"Do I let him out, or…?"

"Draconus," Lucius called, walking to the bottom of the stairs. "Come back down here. Harry isn't here tonight." He turned back to his friends. "Is he?"

"Two nights before the full moon? Hell no." Severus grabbed his stirring rod.

Remus smirked. "I'm not actually a danger to anyone except the night of the full moon, but Severus likes to take precautions."

"And I like my guinea pigs to take their potions on time. Here." He handed the lycanthrope a recently ladled potion. Remus grimaced as he slurped it down. "So, animagus transformations. Lucius, do you have any idea how one would go about it?"

The blond crossed his arms. "I'm sure the Malfoy library has some literature on it, if I take the time to investigate."

"Professor McGonagall might know," Remus said, sitting down to make the world stop spinning, "seeing as she is one."

"How are you feeling?" Severus asked, conjuring a quill and paper.

"Is the room supposed to be upside down?"

Before either man could answer, the werewolf's hair caught fire. Lucius's eyes widened and he ran for the fire extinguisher that Severus made him learn how to use when he first bought a chemical plant for the pharmaceutical company.

"Interesting," the potions master mumbled to himself, taking notes.

"Interesting? That's all you have to say?" Lucius asked as he sprayed foam on the poor wolf.

"Huh? What?" Remus looked up, his eyes blinking.

"Did you fall asleep?"

"Possibly. Were either of you talking about cheese?"

"No."

"Then, yes. I must have had another dream about the Gryffindor common room."

Severus's eyes narrowed. "You regularly discussed cheese in the common room?"

"Peter liked cheese."

"I'm not going to ask any further questions." The dark man threw a towel at the other man. "It seems one of the ingredients interacted incorrectly with this morning's pain potion."

"Which one?" Remus asked, taking the towel and cleaning off his hair.

"Probably the ethanol. Highly doubt aconite would cause spontaneous combustion."

Lucius's eyes widened and he pursed his lips as Remus finished drying his short locks.

"Uhm, Lupin…" Severus started, his own eyes growing large.

"What?"

The blond man turned to his friend. "Do fire extinguishers have that effect on hair?"

"Not normally," the potions master responded.

The lycanthrope quickly put a hand to his head. No, it was still there. He hadn't gone bald. He dashed back to the bathroom, turning on the lights.

"What the hell?" Remus yelled, running back into the room. "My hair is white!"

"More of a pale blond," Lucius said, eyes narrowing.

"Malfoy-color, to be exact," Severus said, smirking. He turned to his friend. "Weren't you just saying you always wanted a little brother?"

"Not a half-breed one."

"Take him home to Narcissa and say Draco had an accident."

"I like my life. I plan to keep it."

"Uhm, Severus, Lucius," the werewolf said, eyeing the other two suspiciously. "Did you try this?"

"I can honestly tell you, Lupin, that I had no idea that this reaction would occur," Severus said, looking over his list of ingredients.

"This would have been a great joke potion," Lucius said, standing behind his friend. He read over Severus's shoulder. "Why the Abraxan hair?"

"It has an unknown effect. I'd like to make it known."

"You tested an unknown potion ingredient on me?" Remus asked, mouth dropping in horror.

Lucius's eyes bounced from the parchment to the wolf. "That would explain the off-white hair, though."

"Something I'll have to add to my potions journal," Severus agreed. He picked up his wand and waved it at Remus. His hair turned caramel in color. "A slightly lighter tint than you're used to, I'm sure. However, I do believe that is the best I can do without accidentally causing the dragon claw ooze to spontaneously combust."

"What have you been feeding me?" Remus asked, backing away slowly.

"I was curious as to how differing animal parts with unknown effects might interact with the aconite to augment lucidity."

Lucius quirked a brow. "In English?"

"He thought that mixing wolfsbane with another animal ingredient might help me better keep my human mind," Remus explained. "Do you think it will work?"

"Well, so long as we don't add Abraxan hair to the next batch, I'm fairly certain the dragon claw should work together with the aconite to cleave to the wolf part and cause it to either fall asleep the entire night or create a sense of territorial rage."

"Again," the blond said, eyes narrowing. "In English?"

"You don't know if this will even help?" The werewolf's mouth dropped. "It could cause me to become worse?"

"We are swimming in unchartered waters." Severus shrugged, smirking. "Or should I say 'dogpaddling'?"

"You should say 'sorry'."

"For what?"

"You never asked me my opinion. I never would have consented had I known…"

"You do realize we're experimenting, right? This means that there are risks." The potions master turned to Lucius, who was studying a random parchment. "What do you have there, Luc?"

"While you two were bickering, I summoned Dobby and asked him to use his elf magic to find anything the Malfoys have on animagus transformations," Lucius said, turning back to the page. "Here it says you have to hold a mandrake leaf under your tongue for a month."

Chuckling erupted from Remus and both men turned to stare.

"Something you'd like to share with the class, Lupin?" Severus asked, brow quirked. "Because I don't see anything funny about the fact you will have to remain alone for this full moon."

"No. I'm good," the lycanthrope said, turning and whistling while walking away.

"Guess it's time for us to grow some Mandrakes, Sev," Lucius said, staring down the daunting list of potions ingredients required in the process.

"Or I could ask Pomona," Severus replied, turning to clean up his potions.

"And tell her what?"

"I'm becoming an animagus?"

"What? You'd tell her the truth?"

Severus looked up at his brother in all but blood. "Yes. That is the legal way to do it, after all. I'll then register with the ministry."

"Are you insane? You would have to give a reason for why you were becoming one."

"So?"

"So? How would you explain the part about your werewolf guinea pig?"

The potions master's eyes narrowed. "Why would that be an issue? Everyone at the ministry already knows about his condition."

Remus walked in as Lucius raised his voice.

"Seriously? You truthfully believe that?" the blond asked.

"Believe what?" the lycanthrope asked, taking a seat on a bar stool.

"Of course Lupin is a registered werewolf. It's illegal to hide your condition from the ministry," Severus turned to the wolf, "right, Lupin?" Amber eyes turned to the ceiling and whistled a non-distinct tune. "Lupin?"

"The bureau of werewolf registry was created as a joke," Remus said, shrugging. "Do you honestly believe werewolves would voluntarily go and register with the ministry? We aren't insane enough to want spies following our every move."

"But…it's illegal not to be."

"Yes, but it's so under-maintained and under-funded no one knows who is and isn't bitten."

"Ah, yes," Lucius said, nodding, "bureaucracy at its finest. It's illegal for werewolves not to register but there is not enough funding or manpower to register. You've got to love government."

"So," Severus ignored his friend to focus on the criminal he was harboring, "you're telling me that no one but Dumbledore, Black, and the three of us know about your furry little problem?"

"And Professor McGonagall…" Remus tilted his head to his side. "And Poppy."

"So, the real reason I couldn't say a word after the attack wasn't because the ministry would suddenly see you as rabid, it's so they wouldn't see you at all!"

Remus furrowed his brow. "I wonder what Professor Dumbledore's reasoning to add the Whomping Willow was to the board."

"What does that have to do with anything?" the blond wizard asked.

Severus rolled his eyes. "It protects the secret entrance to the werewolf lair." He looked back at the required potions once more. "How in the world am I to get some of these ingredients?"

Remus smirked, biting the inside of his cheek. "What do you mean?"

"Well, first off, how the hell am I to find a Death's-head Hawk Moth? They aren't even indigenous to Britain."

"Argus Filtch's office, apparently."

The dark man grimaced. "And how would you know this, Lupin?"

"My friends and I spent quite a bit of time in there."

"And you just so happened to find a chrysalis from a very rare moth?"

"Several. He has them in cages behind his desk," Remus said, shrugging.

Lucius shook his head. "I'm tempted to join the board just to go to them with all the knowledge I'm gaining of the inner workings of the school."

"If you go back to investigate Filtch's office and happen to come across a stack of parchment, could you bring it back? They're hidden under a label of…"

"Lupin, he is not your errand boy," Severus said, rubbing his forehead.

"I'm not allowed on campus without a good reason…"

"What if I go back and look for it for you?"

"I do believe James and Sirius would both be super offended I sent you of all people to obtain the map," the wolf said, taking the animagus parchment and reading it.

"It's a map?" Lucius said.

"Not always."

"Enough riddles," Severus said, snatching the parchment back. "One month from today, Lucius and I should be ready to join you on your full moon."

"Actually," Remus stared down at his nails, "it'll probably take more than a month, and that's assuming you have the correct weather patterns."

"How would you know?"

"Just read the parchment. You have to hold that mandrake leaf in your mouth for a month, starting on a full moon. If you mess up in any way, you have to wait until the next full moon and start all over again," Remus said, pulling the parchment toward the center of the table so that all could see.

"Okay, so be very careful with the mandrake leaf," Lucius said, nodding.

"Then, if the following full moon is on a cloudy night, you will have to wait another month, and keep the leaf under your tongue the entire time."

"Well, if we plan just right, I do believe most February moons are clear." Severus glared at the parchment.

"And how do you plan to teach with a leaf in your mouth?" Lucius asked.

"There are ways…"

"Anyway, say you happen to hit just the right time, you still have to wait for a lightning storm to drink the potion." Remus shook his head. "Meanwhile, if you forget to recite the spell even once, you have to start the entire process over again."

"How could anyone possibly have that sort of patience?" the potions master asked, rubbing his eyes.

"If you have a goal in mind, you'll do anything to fulfill it," the werewolf explained, smiling wistfully. "And weather manipulating spells are dead useful, too."

Severus stared at the werewolf. "How do you know so much about the process after only a cursory reading of the parchment?"

"Quick learner?"

"And how would you know that a weather manipulating spell wouldn't counteract the integrity of the process?"

"Good guess?"

Lucius's eyes narrowed. "Wasn't there that odd weather occurrence back in '75?"

"Strangely enough, I believe it was after the three-month vow of silence Potter, Black, and Pettigrew took." Severus smiled. "Best three months of my life."

"Those two events are completely unrelated," Remus said, staring up at the ceiling. "James, Sirius, and Peter took that vow protesting muggle violence bleeding into the magical world."

Severus pursed his lips. "I thought they said it was due to the unreasonable expectations of verbal answers and the traditional student/teacher construct."

"That too."

"Cissy said they were doing it because they were raising awareness of how funny they were and how much the student population underappreciated them," Lucius said.

"You can have a vow of silence for more than one reason." Remus looked down at the cement.

"And wasn't there that one time Potter answered that they were in the middle of an intense silent game and all too stubborn to quit?" The potions master crossed his arms.

"It was a very stressful year. We had to come up with interesting ways to relax. I created the silence game to get them all to shut up."

"Answer me this, Lupin: were they or were they not animagi?"

Remus sighed. "Once again, I am legally obligated not to answer that question."

"What were those insipid names again, Severus?" Lucius asked, flipping his hair out of his eyes.

"Uhm, Padfoot, Prongs, Wormtail…"

"Wait a minute!" Silver eyes popped open. "One of them was Wormtail?"

The werewolf quirked a brow. "You know Wormtail?"

"He was the Dark Lord's spy."

"What?" Remus's mouth dropped. He pulled out his wand and backed the blond into the wall. "How could you say that?"

"Because I heard him call Wormtail to him after one or two meetings?" The blond tilted his head. "Why would you name Black Wormtail?"

Severus shook his head. "Black was Padfoot. Pettigrew was Wormtail."

"Exactly. Sirius was a grim, and Peter was a rat; hence Wormtail. Hence his obsession with cheese." Remus shook his head once more. "That doesn't make any sense. Peter couldn't have been the spy."

"Are you so sure, Lupin?" the potions master asked. "Because—even with my hatred of all things Marauder—I would sooner pick Pettigrew as the spy of the dark lord than Sirius Black."

"But Sirius was the Secret Keeper."

"And who told you that?"

"Sirius."

Lucius grimaced. "You mean, the man who based his life on pranking people was the person you trusted to tell you the truth?"

"Well, they wouldn't have made Peter the Secret Keeper," Remus said, pushing the tip of his wand into Lucius Adam's apple.

"Why not? It's almost Slytherin. The perfect bluff."

"Sirius? Slytherin?"

"He is a Black," Lucius said, shrugging. "And think about it: Sirius—as much as he would have had training in withstanding torture as an auror—would know whether his breaking point was strong enough to defy the Dark Lord. If he knew he would crack fairly quickly—or at all—it would not do to choose him as the keeper."

"And you think Peter could withstand torture?"

"No one would think Pettigrew was the Secret Keeper. You didn't."

"Well, that's fair. Plus, it would then make sense why Sirius went after him…" Remus dropped his wand and turned. "Severus? Did Professor Dumbledore ever…" He blinked. "He's gone."

"Did he go to speak with the headmaster?" Lucius asked.

"That's the only logical thing I can think of."

Draco cried out once more.

"Dragon, it's just a door. It's not the end of the world," Lucius said, rubbing his eyes.

"Why don't we go up and get him some biscuits and milk?"

"That sounds like a good idea."

Ten minutes later found Remus, Lucius, and Draco enjoying chocolate chip biscuits and warm milk. Draco yawned, stretching his arms.

"I guess I should go back and face Cissa," Lucius said, picking up his son.

"You're not staying to find out the Severus mystery?"

"I'll be back tonight."

He turned, but stopped immediately when a pop of apparation echoed through the room. He nearly dropped the blond boy upon seeing Severus carrying a sack and dropping it to the floor. A black dog crawled out.

"You have five minutes to explain," Severus said, crossing his arms.

Lucius stared at the man. "Sev, you do realize you're talking to a dog, right?"

"No he isn't," Remus said, slowly standing. Padfoot turned, his tongue lolling to the side. He hobbled over before transforming into Sirius.

"Remus, you have to help me. Snape is on a war path."

"I said explain, Black," Severus said, glaring.

"Explain what? How the world works? Because I still can't figure it out."

"Stop goofing off. What happened that night at Godric's Hollow?"

"It was all my fault," Sirius said, turning to his friend. "I thought that if Pettigrew were the Secret Keeper, we could keep them safe. Then, instead of taking Harry, I ran off after the rat. He set me up. You have to believe me, Moony."

"Ah, Moony," Severus nodded, "that's the one I forgot."

"Black," Lucius said slowly, setting down his son and placing his body in-between the convict and the boy. "How the hell are you out of Azkaban?"

"I…I don't…don't entirely know myself," Sirius explained. "Snivellus showed up, cast some weird spell, forced me into my animagus form, and…well, and then I was here." He scanned the room. "Where is here?"

"We have a lot more to go over before we explain any of the recent events," Remus said, shaking his head. "What happened when you approached Peter?"

"He started yelling, which made no sense. He was the traitor, not me. Then, I pulled out my wand, but before I could say a word, he threw a spell behind him that blew up the street. As the dust settled, he cut off his finger and turned into Wormtail," Sirius said, covering his

"So, we have an escaped murderer and follower of the Dark Lord running amok?" Lucius asked, holding his son closer to him.

"Apparently," Severus said. "Lucius, we need to be more careful. You should not roam muggle London until we've found Pettigrew."

"Why can't he?" Remus asked.

"Who do you think is going to be the spy for the order when the dark lord comes back into power?"

Sirius growled. "Spy? Yeah, right. You're nothing but a dirty, little muggle-hater. You couldn't care less about the Order or the downfall of Voldemort."

"Padfoot, stop," Remus said, putting a hand on his friend's shoulder. "He's the only reason your godson's alive."

"What?"

"We have a lot to catch you up on." The lycanthrope sat his friend down. "But first, I believe food and a nice bath are in order."