A/N: This chapter digs a little into Theo's past, giving us a glimpse of what happened to him.
This is a shorter chapter, but we're working up to longer chapters again soon.
Thank you to everyone who left a comment, followed and favourited the story. I appreciate it very much.
A shout-out to my beta, AnziaC for beta'ing this chapter while feeling under the weather.
She was ready with the chapter much sooner than I expected. Thank you so much!
Once again, JK owns the masterpiece that is Harry Potter. I own nothing but the plot bunnies.
Chapter 4:
Whatever Hermione expected to happen the next morning when she finally had to face Theo, was razed to ashes when she found him waiting patiently at her front door with a softness around his green eyes, watching her astutely.
Instead of embarrassment over her behaviour last night, she felt guilt. She'd never meant to hurt Theo or make him feel like he'd somehow pushed her too far. She'd been right there with him in the moment, enjoying everything he gave: the way he tasted, the feeling of his lips and tongue against hers, and his body pressed so tightly against hers that she could feel how hard he'd been for her.
So she apologized this time.
"I'm so sorry, Theo," she started, closing her eyes and drawing in a shuddering breath, "For the way I reacted last night. I need you to understand that it wasn't your fault. You did nothing wrong."
With his eyes still diligently trained on her face, watching, he stepped towards her.
Her answering step back caused Theo's emerald eyes to shutter as he tried to hide that her reaction had cut him to the bone. He shook his head, closed his eyes and drew a steadying breath in through his nose as if trying to centre himself. When his eyes snapped open, they were imploring and swirling with earnestness. "I will never hurt you, Hermione. I swear that I won't. But I can see that you're struggling with something, and I won't push you for more until you're ready."
"And what about you?" She asked cautiously, curious for his answer. "Are you ready?" Neither of them had spoken their secrets out loud yet, and until they did, there would always be a painful past driving a wedge between them.
He seemed to ponder her question for a moment, eyes looking down at his feet, thinking. He took a slow, measured breath, and then looked back up at her. "I'm getting there," he admitted. "It's easier with you around. It makes me hope for a second chance."
"Being here, spending time with you and getting to know you has helped me too. But as you saw last night, I'm also stumbling around blindly, trying to navigate this thing between us." She motioned a hand between Theo and her. "Last night just made me realise that I'm still dealing with a lot of stuff. That I'm not completely over my past."
"I'm a patient man, Hermione," he offered, sincere, letting the unspoken words hang between them.
I can wait.
When did they stumble onto a first-name basis? Was it last night?
"Maybe if we go really slow?" she asked, hoping she wouldn't regret this, but also not willing to go back to the way things were before. As if last night didn't happen.
"I can do really slow." He smiled and shoved his hands into his pockets, looking adorably shy. "Maybe we could start with a first date? No pressure for anything more than getting to know each other on a more personal level?"
"A date would be very nice," she blushed, biting her lip.
Theo reached out slowly, keeping his eyes steady on hers as if asking for permission to touch.
When she took a tentative step toward him, his thumb came up to her mouth, pulling her bottom lip out from between her teeth. He whispered, "I said I'm patient, but don't tempt me by biting your lip. I'm only a man. I'm not made of steel."
XXX
While Zabini and Theo easily conversed at the breakfast table, it was clear that Malfoy was not a morning person. Hermione worried that his cup of coffee would shatter if he scowled any harder at it. It might have been partly due to them imbibing countless bottles of wine last night, instead of just the morning twaddle going on around them, she realized.
While she had a minor headache as a result of the wine, it was mostly trumped by the fluttering in her stomach at Theo's proximity. His smell. The heat of him pressed against her side while he held a steady conversation with Zabini across the table.
Every time Theo lifted his coffee cup to his mouth, his arm brushed against hers, making her heart stutter.
In the wake of the heat that was his skin against hers, her appetite had vanished. And, instead of following the conversation, her mind drifted to last night. To the way Theo had smelled. The way he'd tasted. How he'd felt, pressed so tightly between her thighs. The scent of him on her skin and clothes, his taste on her tongue, had lingered long after she'd stopped crying and tucked herself into bed.
For as reserved as Theo Nott was around people in all of his social interactions, that was certainly not the case when he kissed her. Then he was all hunger, heat and heady passion. His hands were sure and steady. He was confident and sexy, lips warm and demanding, and his body was strong, hard and greedy. But for all of his edacity, there was a constant gentle undertone to every touch he gave.
"You okay?" His warm breath against her ear made her stomach clench, and she shivered in delight. His discerning gaze told her he knew exactly what she'd been thinking about, and it made her blush deeply when his lips quirked up into a wicked smirk.
"I'm fine," she answered, voice coming out raspy.
"What are your plans for the rest of the day?" he asked, voice still low, rumbling deep in his chest.
The moment felt intimate.
Another shiver shuttled up her spine, and she suddenly had the strongest compulsion to trace the dimples in his cheeks with her tongue, wondering how it would feel against the roughness of his stubble.
"I don't know..." she breathed the words. She didn't know anything right now. Couldn't think clearly with this static crackling between them. He was fucking trouble for her resolve. How was she supposed to go slow, when he made her feel like this all the time?
"You know," he murmured, eyes dipping briefly to her mouth, and then up again. "You say 'slow', but your eyes say something completely different."
There was an intensity to his eyes and the set of his body that made her rub her thighs together under the table. He noticed but didn't look away. There was a slow, lazy smile pulling his lips up at the corners, and his eyes flashed with heat.
"What I want and what I need are two completely different things," she said, words barely above a whisper.
"Despite what you and I might want, I'm only interested in what you need."
"Get a room, would you!" Malfoy complained from across them as he pushed up out of his chair, leaving for the kitchen in search of more coffee, muttering, "How's a guy to eat with all this sexual tension in the room?"
Hermione huffed a laugh and covered her face with her hands to hide her embarrassment, pressing her forehead into Theo's chest.
"Well," a woman's sharp voice interrupted their moment, "This looks cozy."
Hermione felt Theo stiffen and retreat from her. She looked up to find none other than Astoria Greengrass in the doorway of the dining room, arms crossed over her chest and blue eyes cold and cutting.
Where the hell had she come from?
"I'm so glad my dear brother-in-law has decided to move on," Astoria said, taking a step closer and levelling Theo with a piercing stare. "And so soon after my sister's death."
Upon Astoria's utterance of 'death,' Hermione sucked in a breath; Zabini's fork clattered to his plate; and Theo audibly ground his teeth. Then a deafening silence descended upon the room, so quiet that she could hear her pulse thumping rapidly in her ears.
At Hermione's wide-eyed stare, Astoria approached with a cold, calculating smirk and chuckled menacingly. "How lovely," she said with fake cheer and pulled out a chair beside Hermione, red nails curling around the back of it, a large diamond on her ring finger catching the light.
"Astoria..." Theo growled a warning but the brunette ignored him.
"I guess he didn't tell you that we're all here this weekend to visit his wife and son's graves, did he?"
Hermione clapped a palm to her mouth, eyes shooting up toward Theo. The man in question was sitting rigidly in his chair, cutting Astoria to the bone with his furious green gaze. A weaker woman would have cowered under that stare.
Not Astoria.
She continued unperturbed. "I guess you never got around to it while you were busy burying your cock inside the Golden girl, here, did you? I suppose I get it," Astoria sneered. "The mention of your dead wife would be quite the mood killer, wouldn't it?"
Theo unclenched his jaw, curled his hands into white-knuckled fists, and opened his mouth to speak when Malfoy beat him to it.
"That's enough, Astoria." Malfoy's voice was low and chastising, and somehow it felt even worse than if he'd yelled.
Astoria turned in her seat towards him with a glare to rival his own, but her eyes suddenly softened.
Not what Hermione was expecting.
"It's been three years, love," Malfoy said, gentler this time, his tone warmer. He rounded the table and pulled Astoria in for a hug, kissing the top of her shiny, dark hair. "Cut Theo some slack."
That's when Hermione noticed the ring on Malfoy's finger.
Astoria Malfoy, then.
Which meant that Theo had been married to Daphne Greengrass.
And she was dead.
Theo was a widower.
His son...
The blue door that was always kept closed; a door that was off-limits to her.
"Oh, God!" Hermione felt a wave of overwhelming nausea, bile rising in her throat. She pushed out of her chair, eyes wide as all the pieces finally clicked.
Theo got up so rapidly that his chair toppled over, watching Hermione carefully. Gauging her reaction.
All eyes were on them now, the room as quiet as a graveyard.
Blood pounded loudly in her ears, the whoosh of her pulse deafening. "I'm just-" Her voice cracked. She cleared her throat and tried again. "I'm going to go," She pointed her thumb over her shoulder, in the general direction of her cottage. Her voice sounded strange to her own ears, her thoughts jumbled and conflicting. She was so far out of her fucking depth here.
"Don't go, Hermione," Theo pleaded, attempting to stop her with a hand reaching out for her, but she dodged him, walking hurriedly to the front door on numb legs, across the porch and down the steps, not once looking back.
She could hear him follow, and she increased her pace to get away, yelping in surprise when his warm hand cupped her shoulder and spun her around.
"Wait, please?" He begged, forcing her to look at him.
"I didn't know," she whispered, imploring him to understand. She shook her head, deflating. "I'm so, so sorry Theo. I never would have forced my way into your life if I'd known."
He shook his head vehemently, "No, that's not-"
"That's why you were in such a mood this week, wasn't it? It's the anniversary of their deaths?"
He closed his eyes, heaved a breath through his nose and gave a brisk nod. "Yes," he admitted warily. "But I never meant to make you feel like you've forced your way into my life. I want to make space for you. I'm allowed to move on."
"Are you telling me, or yourself?" She asked him with a sad smile, tipping her head to the side, observing him gingerly.
The corners of his mouth were turned down, and a crease puckered his brow. "Both, I guess?"
"Look, Theo. This is your day to mourn the loss of your family." She pushed his hair off of his forehead. The contact made his eyes drift shut, and he leaned into her touch for a long minute, as if starved for affection. "I don't want to intrude on something so personal."
"What if I need you there with me?" A whispered confession so soft, she almost missed it. His eyes opened slowly, troubled and lost. "Please?"
"Are you sure that's what you want?"
This was so personal. Hermione had barely known Daphne in school. She'd feel like an intruder being there with him today.
He nodded his affirmation, Adam's apple bobbing like he was struggling with the right words. "I'll tell you everything afterwards."
XXX
It was a somber day, visiting the graves of Theo's wife and son. Short of walking past the bodies of war casualties lying in neat rows in the Great Hall, all covered with white sheets, watching Theo break down at his family's graves had been one of the hardest things Hermione's ever had to witness.
The somber mood continued into the evening, where the whole lot of them lay silent, side-by-side on the grass in Theo's backyard, watching the stars.
Her hand was clasped tightly in Theo's, his grip warm and unyielding. She didn't mind. It felt really nice, even under the current circumstances. She liked to think that maybe her hand in his kept him from breaking again like he did earlier today. Kept him grounded, instead of sinking to the bottom of the grief he was submerged in. Even if his head barely managed to break the surface.
She got the distinct impression that there was more to the deaths of Theo's wife and son. There were things that haven't been said yet. That their deaths were just the tip of the iceberg. They hadn't talked about it yet like Theo had said they would, but she was not going to push him. He would tell her when he was ready.
Hermione came back into awareness at the feeling of being jostled.
Pressed against a hard, warm chest with a familiar scent, she realized that she was being carried home by Theo.
She pushed her face harder into his chest and inhaled his earthy, spicy scent, with the perpetual tartness of grapes clinging to his clothes and skin. It was a smell she would forever associate with him.
"What time is it?" she mumbled into his shirt.
"Half-past one," he murmured, footsteps echoing against her porch steps. "We fell asleep outside." He pulled her just a little tighter into him for five beats of her heart, before setting her down on the porch.
He looked so lost in that moment, shoulders bowed, hands stuffed into his pockets, and his lips turned down at the corners almost imperceptibly. But she'd gotten good at reading him over the last month. It was clear that the day's events were weighing heavily on him.
Her heart clenched at the sight of him, so defeated and wary because of all the grief he'd had to relive today, that she couldn't stop the next words that tumbled from her mouth when he bid her goodnight with a stroke of his knuckles against her cheeks.
"Stay..." A whispered request, more for his benefit than hers.
She wanted to hold him tonight. Comfort him. Just make it a little easier for him. And maybe things would feel a little lighter in the morning. Easier to deal with.
Neither of them bothered to remove their clothes when Theo followed her inside, locking the door like he knew she preferred.
She was lying on her back in bed and pulled Theo closer to her. He rested his head on her chest, a sigh escaping him unbidden. His body seemed to relax, the tension slowly seeping away while he draped his arm over her stomach, snuggling in closer.
And at that moment, with so much hanging between them, truths left unsaid, and hidden pasts, she had to consciously restrain herself from telling him the truth about her past. She wanted him to know about everything, but instead, she clamped her lips together, worried that it might make today seem more about her and less about him and his loss. She didn't want to dismiss his grief by sharing her own painful past. And that thought alone was enough to keep her quiet. Instead, she carded her fingers through Theo's hair until his breathing evened out, and she followed soon after, drifting effortlessly into sleep.
A/N: I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Any ideas about what happened to Theo's wife and son?
I can't wait to share the next few chapters as things start ramping up in the chemistry department and secrets are slowly revealed.
'Till next time ;)