A/N: Hello all! So sorry for the lack of updates! I now have a full-time job teaching at a cyber school, and marauderfascination has been working through her junior year of high school! Here is three chapters to make up for it! In honor of my 24th birthday, here is Chapters 7, 8, and 9. As always, we do not own Harry Potter nor make money off it.

"Uncle Sev!" Harry cried out, holding out his arms to the dour man.

"Harry Potter," Severus bent down to get eye level with him. "Tell me, have you been a good boy this year?" Harry nodded. The potions master smirked and lifted him high. "Very good. I had hoped Saint Nicholas would make a stop at my home tomorrow night!"

Green eyes sparkled as the professor dropped into his lay-z-boy and settled the toddler on his lap. He had just gotten back from a trying semester at Hogwarts, and was looking for a little R & R at home.

"Snape's back!" Sirius called out, turning into Padfoot and jumping on the man's lap.

"Black!" Severus yelped, protecting Harry from the heavy grim.

"Sirius, don't you dare hurt Harry!" Remus called out, running and grabbing the animagus. Padfoot turned back into a man.

"Aw, Moony, you're no fun."

"The three of you better behave," Narcissa called, coming in from the kitchen. "I made a lovely feast and I don't want it to go to waste because I had to send you all to your room without supper."

"You made the food?" Severus asked, brow quirked.

"I made it, the house elf made it…potato, po-tah-to."

"No, Cissa, those are very different things."

Sirius licked his lips. "It does smell good, though."

"We still have a while, according to Dobby," Lucius said, carrying in Draco. "How was your week, Sev?"

"Don't ask," the man grumbled, rubbing his eyes.

"That bad?"

"I would like a full report on what's been going on here, rather than focus on my impending sense of doom for the future of our society," Severus said, graciously taking the proffered tumbler of whiskey.

"Come on, my fine feathery friend, they can't be as bad as we were," Sirius said, smirking.

"You were," Remus corrected, sipping his own drink. "I do recall keeping a stockpile of apology notes pre-formatted with your signature."

"James's pile was bigger and you know it."

"Sadly enough," Severus shook his head, "I believe the marauders would have to bow their heads in shame. This new generation surpasses their idiocy."

"And that's without the map!" Sirius gawked.

"What map?"

Sirius blinked. "Did someone say something about a map?"

"You said something about a map."

"I'm sure I didn't. I said nap."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Yes, I'm fairly certain he said nap."

"Does this have something to do with those legal documents you had to sign, Lupin?" Lucius asked.

"I cannot disclose whether it does or does not."

"Enough," Severus said, rubbing his brow. "Can I have an update, please?"

"Well, Petunia tried to force Harry to start doing the lawn work by himself," Remus said, sighing.

"He's three!"

"That's what I said. It started a fight. The neighbors came. They took bets."

"A physical fight?"

"Well, I didn't have my wand and she called me a mangy mutt."

Severus rolled his eyes. "Were the police called?"

"No, thankfully Lucius broke it up."

"Not because I didn't want to see Petunia get her full due," Lucius clarified, setting down his drink. "I just knew Black was threatening to come out and add to the betting pool."

Narcissa smiled as she sipped her tea. "To get back at her, I distracted her with a cooking question while Sirius rolled in the mud. He then broke into her house and ran the entire layout shaking. It took him a couple of trips, but the house was completely covered in mud."

"So, Petunia declared she would ban all dogs in the development," Remus continued, stirring his tea.

"She can't do that," Severus said, scowling.

"She can if she's HOA president."

"She's the HOA president?"

"No," Lucius said, shaking his head. "She ran for HOA president.

"Who did she run against?" Severus asked, cuddling Harry in closer.

"Originally, she was unopposed."

"Which was unacceptable," Sirius said, glaring. "That's how tyranny starts."

"So…" Severus scanned the room. "I'm almost afraid to ask. Who is the new HOA president?"

"I am," Narcissa said, smiling brightly.

"Narcissa," Severus said slowly, "you don't live here."

"They don't know that."

"And truthfully, I think they're a bit relieved seeing a woman around after seeing two bachelors move in with their pet dog and blonde-haired child," Lucius said, smirking.

"So, who are you in this scenario?" Severus asked, brow quirked.

"I want to say the nanny, but…"

"Well, that sounds eventful."

"That reminds me," Narcissa said, pulling out some parchment, "next week is the next meeting."

"Oh, what's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Then…" Severus's eyes narrowed. "Why are we having a meeting?"

"They're semi-monthly."

Lucius rolled his eyes. "They're more tedious and worthless than the meeting of the lords."

"And here, everyone's expected to bring a beverage or a dessert to share," Sirius said, shaking his head.

"Honestly, that might make the meeting of the lords more interesting."

"And then you can play a game of Cluedo to try and figure out why someone dropped dead," Remus said, smirking into his tea.

"Cluedo?" Draco asked, head jerking around.

"No, Draco, no more Cluedo."

"You've been playing Cluedo with him?" Severus asked, brow furrowing.

"With both of them, actually. Draco's quite good at deductive reasoning."

"Meanwhile, Harry likes playing house with the little pieces," Sirius said, rolling his eyes. "Do you know how many times I've had to attend a wedding between Professor Plum and Miss Scarlett?"

"Meanwhile, Colonel Mustard was trying to prove Miss Scarlett did in fact have the candelabra," Remus added.

"Oh, so she was the killer?" Severus asked.

"No, Harry seriously thinks that candles can marry people. Do you know how hard it is to play a game of Cluedo when a weapon goes missing continuously?"

"And that is why it's for ages eight and older."

"We're all 8 and older," Remus said, eyes sparkling.

"No," Sirius shook his head, "the last time the marauders played Cluedo, James ended up with a knife to the arm, Pettigrew had to be revived, and Lily swore off mustard."

"Lily swore off mustard?" Severus asked, brow furrowed.

"You're worried about the mustard?" Narcissa asked, mouth dropping. "Potter had a knife in his arm."

"You probably shouldn't have revived Pettigrew," Lucius said, cleaning his fingernails. "It would have saved you a lot of trouble."

Sirius put his hands on his hips. "I'm sorry. I didn't want to be a murderer!"

"Ironically," Remus said, head tilted.

"Why did Lily swear off mustard?" Severus asked. "It was her favorite condiment."

"She had a favorite condiment?" Narcissa asked, brow quirked.

"Yes, honey mustard."

"How do you know that?"

"She was my friend."

"Remus is my best friend," Sirius said, "for a very long time. Longer than you and Lily. I still don't know what his favorite condiment is."

"But he does know my favorite brand of underwear," Remus said, reclining on the couch.

"That is a statement that needs further explanation," Lucius said, eyes widening.

"Well, after a certain number of times replacing it, you learn their preferences," Sirius said shrugging.

"Context?" Narcissa asked, mouth dropping in horror.

"Well, on cold nights, would you rather be butt-naked or wearing underwear?"

"Sirius," Remus moaned, rubbing his head. "You're not doing a very good job explaining this. There's going to be rumors."

"During the full moon," Sirius huffed, arms crossed. "Get all of your minds out of the gutter. When it's the night of the full moon, Moony strips down to his underwear before he transforms, so he doesn't have to replace his entire wardrobe. However, when he used to go full on starkers, he'd catch a cold. He started wearing underwear, and that helped, but it also led to him needing more underwear. I would go and buy some at a convenience store down the way. You learn a lot about a man when you buy him underwear."

"Padfoot!"

"Is that where all your allowance money went?" Narcissa asked, scowling.

"Cissy!" Sirius smirked. "How expensive do you think underwear is?"

"You did have to buy it every month."

"One pair. One pair per month."

"That's one to two packs a year," Severus said, smirking.

"Plus, sometimes, he doesn't even wear underwear…"

"Sirius!" Remus flushed.

"So, we only had to buy them when he ran out."

"On that delightful topic," Lucius said, "I believe we can begin dinner."

They ate their fill and retired back into the living room; the toddlers both having been put to bed. Remus jumped to his feet and walked over to the cupboard under the stairs, pulling out a box of Cluedo.

"Who will be whom?" he said, setting up the board.

"Who is there?" Narcissa asked, taking a seat at the board.

"And how does one play?" Lucius added, straining his neck for a better view.

"Well," Remus started, holding out a set of cards, face down, to Severus. "Each card contains either a person, an object, or a room: six people, six objects, and nine rooms. What Severus is kindly doing right now is picking a card from each category at random, without any of us knowing which one it is." He held up a tiny manila folder. "I will put these three cards in this folder. This is our perpetrator, our murder weapon, and the crime scene."

"From there," Severus said, rolling his eyes as he took a seat, "we mix the cards together and dole them out equally between the six of us. We receive a paper with a list of all the possible options, and we cross out the cards we have. We then must figure out who killed Dr. Black."

"Sirius," Lucius piqued a brow, "I didn't know any Black obtained a higher degree, nor that they were murdered."

"They didn't and they weren't," Sirius said, huffing as he picked up Mrs. White. "Well, several Blacks were probably murdered, but none of them ever went into anything similar to healing. It just happens to be the name of the character in the game."

"Oh," Lucius said, nodding. "Okay." He picked up a yellow man. "Who is this?"

"Colonel Mustard."

"Is that why Lily didn't like mustard?" Narcissa asked, holding a scantily dressed character.

"Yes," Sirius said, "that time, Colonel Mustard did it with the knife in the kitchen. He stabbed James."

"Who was Colonel Mustard?"

"I was," Sirius said, raising his hand.

"You stabbed your supposed best friend?" Severus asked, brow furrowed.

"I didn't realize that you don't actually reenact the crime."

"What was wrong with Pettigrew?" Lucius asked, placing Colonel Mustard on the yellow start square.

"He passed out from lack of oxygen."

"You choked him?"

"No, he was laughing too hard."

Lucius shook his head. "You really need to learn to give more detail from the beginning."

Remus rolled his eyes. "You have no idea." He picked up Mr. Green. "Okay, so it appears Severus has chosen Professor Plum, Lucius has become Colonel Mustard—realize if you're the murderer, you should refrain from killing anyone, please—I am Mr. Green, and Narcissa is currently holding both Mrs. Peacock and Miss Scarlett…"

"Wait!" Lucius said, eyes widening. "You didn't say her name was Peacock."

"No, Lucius," Severus said scowling.

"But it's been my dream since I was young."

"To what? Be a woman?"

"No, to collect all the peacocks in the world."

"Because that is so much better."

"Or more possible," Narcissa said under her breath. "Why do you think we own 120 peacocks?"

"130 thank you very much," Lucius said.

"When did you buy more?"

"Right," Lucius slammed his forehead, "I wasn't telling you about those."

"Did you name them all?" Sirius asked, brow quirked.

"How did you not notice ten more birds?" Remus asked Narcissa.

The woman sighed. "After fifty, it just looks like a great sea of birds."

"Where do you keep these birds?"

"In an expanded room in the manor."

"And what do you feed them?"

"The house elves feed them. I don't know what."

"So, they could be using parts of other elves?"

Narcissa shrugged. "It's a good way to recycle."

"Are we playing Cluedo or not?" Severus asked, readjusting his little figurine.

"Okay," Remus turned to his friend. "It appears Sirius is playing Mrs. White. That's not ironic at all."

"Let's just start the game, Moons."

"If a figure isn't in play," Narcissa started, staring at the two women, "what do you do with it?"

"I guess we could use it as the dead body," Remus said, shrugging. Narcissa flung Mrs. Peacock at the man.

"I'll be Miss Scarlett."

"And the game begins…"

"Let's have it so that the three of us who know what we're doing go first," Severus said, brow quirked.

"There's three who know how to play?" Remus asked.

"You, me, and Black."

"Sirius doesn't know how to play! He nearly killed James."

"That just shows he misunderstood the end goal, not that he doesn't know how to play."

"And this was four years ago. Do you remember the rules of the games you learned to play four years ago?"

"You mean torture the muggles?" Severus asked, brow quirked. "It's a hard game to forget."

"And hopefully one you never play again."

Sirius cocked his head. "How does one even play torture the muggles?"

"After a while, you get bored with the basic directions of the dark lord, so to spice things up, we created a point system," Lucius explained.

Remus shook his head and rolled the die. "Not going to ask."

"We left werewolves alone."

"I didn't ask."

"I think I could convince a number of death eaters to back you if you're still interested in that coup."

"What coup?" Sirius asked, turning to his friend. "Are you starting a coup without me?"

"The coup de lycanthrope is solely by membership only," Remus said.

Narcissa scrunched her nose. "What are the requirements?"

"That you become a werewolf."

"I've offered to let you bite me several times," Sirius said, pouting.

Severus rubbed his forehead. "Again, context?"

"Each time was during a fight. And you didn't offer to let me bite you, you told me to bite you," Remus said, scowling.

Sirius shrugged. "Potato, pohtahto."

"No, Sirius, they imply very different things," Narcissa said, sighing. "Or did you miss Auntie Black's little talk?"

"Wait, what talk?" Remus asked, brow quirked.

"Are you implying you were all together for the talk?" Severus asked, moving his piece.

"It was a sort of once-and-done issue. They didn't want to do it multiple times." Sirius shrugged. "I was called up for a demonstration."

"For what?" Remus asked, mouth agape.

"Ballroom dancing." Sirius frowned. "What else would it be?"

The three other men turned to Narcissa. She shrugged. "They wanted to cover the talk and etiquette all at the same time. It was a very confusing weekend."

Severus, sighing, placing his character in the ballroom. "So, I am going to move on from this eye-opening discussion and say that it was Colonel Mustard in the library with the candelabra."

"Why would I kill Mrs. Peacock in the library?" Lucius asked.

"I don't know. Maybe you had a study date with her?"

"Why would she be studying? Why would I be studying?"

"I don't know, Lucius. Maybe you're having a secret affair."

"He's what?" Narcissa asked.

"Guys, it's just a game," Remus said, sighing.

Sirius shook his head. "It's not the Colonel."

"How would you know?" Narcissa asked. "It's the perfect motive." She turned back to Lucius. "How could you do this? You're tearing our family apart!"

"Narcissa, I've never slept with anyone, I swear!" Lucius said.

"Wait," Remus shook his head, "how was Draco conceived?"

"Other than my wife."

"And it's not Mustard," Sirius said, glaring. "I know because I have the card here."

Severus groaned. "Black, shut up."

"No, I really do."

"I'm sure you do. And now everyone knows you have that card."

"Is that a problem?" Sirius asked, brows rising. "I thought the point was to eliminate possible suspects."

"And if we do it your way," Remus sighed, "the game will be a lot shorter." He rubbed his eyes. "Padfoot, the point is that you want to have the upper-hand in knowing what could possibly be in the folder. Letting everyone know you have that card does not help."

"So, basically Black, for once in your life, you need to be a Slytherin," Severus said, smirking.

"I can be a Slytherin if I want," Sirius replied, glaring at his cards.

"Prove it."

"How, by getting matching tattoos like you and Lucy?"

"Sirius!" Narcissa gaped, smacking him upside the head. "Behave! You know better than to bring that up."

"Part of that etiquette course?" Remus asked, brow quirked. "I sort of wish I had been there. I feel like I would have had a much better understanding of Sirius's mind if I had."

"I don't think even Sirius has an understanding of his own mind."

Lucius rolled his eyes and the die. "I rolled a ten. Where can I go?"

"The hall," Remus answered, scowling at the board, "or almost to the billiard room."

"I'm going to the hall and I'm going to say Miss Scarlett in the hall with the knife."

"Why would I be in the hall with a knife?" Narcissa asked, pouting.

"It doesn't matter why," Remus said, huffing in exasperation. "There's no motive card."

Severus cocked his head. "There probably should be." He picked up the dice and passed it to Sirius. "You can't just assume they're all murderous maniacs."

"Why not?" Sirius asked, studying the dice.

"What's the possibility of six psychopathic killers all in the same house?"

"During a death eater meeting? High."

"So, wait," Lucius said, brow furrowed, "does anyone have a card that proves me wrong?"

Severus nodded and slyly slid the card over to Lucius. The blond glimpsed at the card, nodded back, and gave back the card.

"My turn," Sirius said. "I got a seven. I can't go in anywhere."

"Thank Merlin for small miracles," Remus said, rolling. "Well, I'm in the same situation as Padfoot."

"Which makes it my turn." Severus grabbed the dice and rolled. "Nine. I'm going to the study and saying it's Mrs. White with the revolver in the study."

"Hey! Why do you think it's me?" Sirius asked, scowling.

"Two words for you Black: Shrieking Shack. I know you're capable of it."

"Oh, will you ever get over that? I was an idiotic teenager."

"At least there's one thing we can agree on." Severus whipped his attention over to the rest of the group. "Can anyone prove me wrong?"

Lucius shifted uneasily before sliding a card over to his friend. Severus grabbed the card, noted the answer on his paper, and gave back the card.

Narcissa rolled, ignoring the conversation. "I rolled a ten and can go to the lounge, dining room, or the library." She cocked her head. "I'm feeling hungry anyway. I might as well go to the dining room."

Remus held his head in his hands. "Guys, this is not real-life. Besides, we just had dinner."

"Well, I'm hungry again." The blonde crossed her arms. "Do you have a problem with that?"

"It's just weird that you're hungry." The lycanthrope held up his hands in surrender. "I mean, I'm a werewolf with an insane metabolism and I still am stuffed from dinner."

"Are you saying I'm fat?"

"Did those words come from my mouth?"

"What?" Sirius scoffed, trying to ease the tension. "Are you pregnant?"

Narcissa huffed. "As a matter of fact, I am."

"Wait, what?"

Severus glanced over at Lucius, who was struggling to keep from laughing. "How long have you known?"

"She's my wife. How long do you think?" the blond man asked, brow quirked.

"And you didn't tell me?"

"She wanted to make sure she made it past the first trimester." Lucius shrugged. "Besides, we thought it would be a lovely Christmas surprise."

"But I thought she only agreed to one, to fulfill the marriage contract."

"That was back when he was a death eater," Narcissa explained.

"Technically," Sirius said, scowling, "he still is."

"He's changed allegiances. Now, I know I can find refuge with the Order if things get bad. Before, hiding two children from the dark lord when my husband truly was on his side would have been madness." She sighed. "Now, I think it's Mr. Green in the dining hall with the rope."

"Your accusation wouldn't possibly be payback for my comments earlier, would they?" Remus asked as he moved his character.

"Why don't you take a guess?"

"While I don't love a good row, I would have to say, my love, that you are absolutely wrong," Lucius said.

"Do you have proof?" she asked, glaring. He shifted to show her a card. "Hmpf."

"Now, if I may have the dice?"

Narcissa threw the dice at him, and he winced as one connected with him. He picked them up and rolled.

"Six. I can go absolutely nowhere," Lucius announced, sighing.

"Well, while I could roll," Sirius quirked a brow, "I would like to take this lovely little passageway…"

"You and your passageways," Remus said, shaking his head.

"I'm taking this passage way to the kitchen and saying it's Miss Scarlet in the kitchen with the muggle killing curse."

"Wait," Lucius's eyes narrowed, "they have one of those?"

"It's called a revolver," Severus said, rubbing his eyes. "And it's not always effective."

"Whatever," Sirius said, waving his hand in the air. "Can anyone prove me wrong?" He looked over at his best friend. "Remmy?"

Each of the others playing shook their heads.

"Alright," Sirius said, grabbing the manila envelope. "I'll look in the little folder thingy."

He pulled out the cards and smirked, laying them out for all to see. "Would you look at that!"

The four others eyes wide.

"How did he do that?" Lucius asked, mouth bobbing.

"Does he have the Sight?" Narcissa asked.

Remus shook his head. "He failed divination."

"Guys," Sirius smirked, "it's all very simple. It's not any of the cards I have, and it wasn't Narcissa's guess. When Snape said it was me in the study with the revolver, I knew they didn't show the study, and he marked it too far up to be a weapon. When Lucy said Scarlett in the hall, I knew it couldn't be the hall and he marked lower than the character." He shrugged. "The kitchen was just the easiest place to get to."

"But you had no idea what Remus had," Narcissa said, throwing her hands in the air.

"Yes, I did. I could see his cards."

"Padfoot!" Remus gasped.

"What I can't understand is what Cissa was doing in the kitchen," Lucius said, shaking his head. "I don't think she even knows where ours is."

"To be fair, you have over one hundred rooms," Severus said, shaking his head.

"Yes, but only one of them is a kitchen."

"Well, obviously…" Sirius grinned mischievously. "She caught Mrs. Peacock having an affair with her husband, decided to confront her while she got the wine for her study date, and in the heat of the moment, she grabbed the muggle…revolver…and killed her husband's mistress."

Narcissa turned to glare at Lucius. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight."

"Couldn't I just sleep in another bedroom?"