My foot tapped on the ground impatiently as I waited for Ms. Mills to show up for physics.
"Dude can you fucking relax? What is with you?"
I jerked my head to see Belle giving me a crazy look.
"Nothing, I just want learn some God damn physics. So sue me."
She eyed me carefully and I hope that she would buy my answer. She shrugged in response and took out her text book then placed it on the desk.
I relaxed after she seemed to let go of the topic.
But seriously, where in the fuck was Ms. Mills? The final bell had already rung. We were all here patiently waiting in silence. And she was no where to be found. Not to mention, I just saw her this morning. So what gives?
The door opened to the classroom and my heart swelled with happiness but as I saw who it was I was over taken by misery. Instead of the beautiful, smart, funny Ms. Mills, it was some old, lanky woman.
I didn't like this, not one bit. The older woman shuffled into the room, wheezed loudly, and smelled of old shoes and fast food. She set the papers down roughly on the desk then glared at all of us.
"Is this finally the last class?" she spoke, her voice was rough and gravely.
What did she mean by finally? Weren't we suppose to be the ones counting down the minutes and she was the one telling us to calm down? As I shook my head I caught Belle send an annoyed look my way. I turned to look at her and we both smiled at the silent conversation we were having.
Who the fuck is this broad?
Where was Ms. Mills?
"So it says here, you guys are to read chapter 2-2.3."
"What do we call you?" yelled Richie from the front.
"You can call me wherever you like, as long as it's not late for dinner."
She laughed loudly, however we didn't think it was that funny. Sorry, not everyone can crack jokes like Ms. Mills.
"Okay so open your text books and read, when you're done, I guess you can leave."
So she really wasn't going to tell us her name? Okay, whatever. The sooner I was done with this class the better. I opened it and began to read. My phone vibrated in my pocket, and I took out to look.
It was Belle. I didn't even see her send a text.
How about we read really fast then dip, I could use an early start to the weekend.
You don't have to ask me twice.
Down!
I saw her smile out of the corner of my mind and I raced through the pages. However my mind kept running back to Ms. Mills slowing me down.
Maybe I should email her? But how would that go? I'd probably freak her out, she would have me transferred out of her class and to some boring teacher. No I couldn't do that, it's too risky. I mentally kicked myself for even entertaining that thought.
Focusing my attention on the work at hand I pushed the thoughts of my addicting physics teacher out of my head. Quickly I flipped through the pages and completed my reading. Shutting the book close, louder than I intended, I began to pack up my things.
Ethan looked behind him and scoffed.
"You're seriously done already Emma?"
His tone was condescending.
"Yea, why do you care? It's not your grade."
"You're right it's not."
"Not everyone can be a fucking show off like you Ethan, some of us have pride."
He just rolled his eyes.
"And it's your pride that's gonna make you fail."
What the fuck did this nerd just say to me? I clenched my fist and ground my teeth. This little fucker was about to-
"Ems, you ready?"
Belle looked at me, giving me a warning to not beat his ass. I growled loudly at her and huffed up to the front to tell the sub we were leaving.
All those time's I saved him from getting his ass pushed into a locker, I now somewhat regretted. As I got close to the teacher my nose was assaulted by her ash tray smell.
"I'm done. Can I go?"
The teacher flip a page in her magazine and shrugged.
"Yup."
Man she was useless. She didn't even look at me. Oh well, I'm taking it. I looked at Belle and nodded. She grabbed our stuff and we walked out of the classroom. Finally I could breathe without her unbearable stench. Grabbing my back pack from Belle we headed to the student parking lot.
"So you got any plans this weekend since the adoptives are out of town?" asked Belle.
"Nope. I'm just suppose to be hanging out with Killian tonight."
I couldn't hide the disdain from my voice.
"I've been meaning to ask, what's going on with two. Both of you are being weird lately."
I shrugged my shoulders and kicked a rock we walked past.
"I don't know honestly. Ever since the beginning of the year he's been acting really clingy."
"Maybe he's just trying to spend time with you before high school is up?"
Belle and her fucking logic.
"Yea, but I don't know. It's not like a planned just dropping him after high school."
"I totally get it, but it does make sense for why he's been acting weird. We are all leaving soon, and he's a smart, athletic guy. I'm sure colleges are hounding him all over the country."
"I know, I just wish he would act like he use to."
"Change is inevitable Emma."
I stayed silent and let her words hang in the air.
Change was inevitable, and when it comes, it's never easy.
We reached my car and Belle grabbed my arm to stop me. Turning me around she cupped my face in between her hands.
"Hey, you call me or any of the others if shit gets crazy tonight. It's Killian, shouldn't get too intense, but if you need to talk, you know I'm here."
She smiled broadly at me and I softened under her touch.
"I will" I replied weakly.
Removing her hands from my face, she stepped back and winked.
"It will all go fine."
She said a final goodbye then walked to her own car. I got in and began the drive to my house in the process I mentally went over all the points I wanted to make when Killian came by.
SQSQSQSQSQSQSQ
I looked at myself in the mirror making sure my outfit didn't appear to date like that. I had on jeans and a baggy t shirt. My hair was pulled back into a ponytail, Killian said he wasn't a fan of my hair like this, it's one of the reasons why I did it.
The doorbell rang awakening the nerves I had suppressed since we last talked.
Okay we've got this. Just talk to him and tell him what's up.
I ran down the stairs of my house, almost tripping in the process. I did one last check of myself in the mirror then opened the door, plastering a smile on my face. Killian was standing in the doorway, with his arms full of grocery bags, he smiled back at me but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
Ah fuck, he was nervous about something.
Covering up my anxiousness I stepped aside letting him in.
"You didn't have to buy me groceries. Mom and dad left me some food. All I just need to do is cook it."
I was attempting to keep our usual banter going.
"Well then it's a good thing you won't be eating this alone." he joked back.
Okay, good. We can still tease each other, that's a good sign.
"Are we not going out to eat?" I asked.
"Nope, I've decided to cook for you."
He made his way into the kitchen, that he knew very well, leaving me to stand like a statue. I heard music and his voice singing along with the lyrics.
Cook for me? Um okay, he's never done this before but maybe he's trying something new.
"You like your steak medium well right?" he called from the other side of the house.
I walked in to the kitchen to find him opening up two ciders for us.
"One for you love." he said giving my a flirty smirk.
I grabbed the bottle hesitantly and chugged it half way. His eyes were on me the whole time and I sighed.
"Killian you know I don't like being on display."
He grinned shyly and blushed.
"Sorry you're just so..."
Please don't say it.
"So beautiful." Killian finished.
I took another swig of my bottle finishing it. I slammed it on the table and looked at him.
"Do you have anymore of those?"
If I was going to talk to him about his feelings towards me, I would need some liquid courage. He didn't answer and instead pulled another one out of the fridge, popping it off with his teeth and handed it me.
"So I've got cheesy mashed potatoes, your favorite, and some green beans to go with it."
Steak, mash potatoes, green beans? This isn't a dinner for a friend. This is a dinner for a date.
I sighed. We had to talk now before shit went any further.
"Hey Killian can we, um, can we talk about-"
"This our song Emma!" he replied cutting me off.
Walking over to the radio he turned it up to max volume and soon Queen's Bohemian Rhapsody was blaring through the house.
He's right, this is our song.
Killian stuck his hand out to me while he sang along.
Mama, just killed a man
Pat a gun against his head
Pulled my trigger, now he's dead
I giggled at him, my bottle and half of cider finally kicking in, and reached to grab his hand. He pulled me in and we began to sing at the top of our lungs.
Mama, ooo
Didn't mean to make you cry
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow
Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters
Too late, my time has come
Sends shivers down my spine
Body's aching all the time
Goodbye everybody I've got to go
Gotta leave you all behind and face the truth
Mama, ooo
I don't want to die
I sometimes wish I'd never born at all
Killian pulled his hand away from mine to do the famous guitar solo with his hands. I couldn't help but laugh at how into it he was. He cued me in when it was my turn to play the piano, I did and he began to sing again. I joined in shortly after making him laugh and throwing him off.
I see a little silhouette of a man
Scaramouch, Scaramouch, will do the fandango
Thunderbolt and lightning very very frightening me
Gallileo, Gallileo
Gallileo, Gallileo
Gallileo Figaro-manifico
But I'm just a poor boy and nobody loves me
He's just a poor boy from a poor family
Spare him his life from this monstrosity
Easy come easy go will you let me go
Like always we alternated the last part.
Bissmillah! No we will not let you go-let him go
Bissmillah! We will not let you go-let him go
Bissmillah! We will not let you go let me go
Will not let you go let me go
Never let you go let me go
Never let me go ooo
No, no, no, no, no, no, no
Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me go
Beezlebub has a devil put aside for me
For me
For me
We began to dance around in circles, singing wildly and laughing hard as the end of the song neared and sped up.
So yo think you can stone me and spit in my eye
So you think you love me and leave me to die
Oh baby can't do this to me baby
Just gotta get out just gotta get right outta here
We continued until the song finished and after we collapsed on the hard wood floor. We held hands as we laughed uncontrollably.
This is what I miss. How easy it was for me to be with him. How easy it was for him to be with me. No personal feelings, just two best friends having a good time. When we calmed down he slowly got up and then helped me off the floor. My hair was fucking mess, and blonde strands covered my eyes.
If I could see him, I would've stopped him from moving it and tucking it behind my ear. He started at me with such intensity that I thought I had something on my face.
"What's wrong? Do I look like a disaster?" I joked trying to ease the rapidly building tension.
But he didn't do anything. He just stared with his fingers lingering behind my ear. I stepped away from him and I saw the small frown that crossed his face.
"How about we go finish dinner."
I was already making my way to the peeled potatoes and threw them in the pot with some water. I felt him move behind me, but I didn't want to risk looking back. I just stayed focused on the talk at him. From around my shoulder I saw my bottle.
Turning my head to the side, I said thank you to him then resumed what I was doing. Killian walked around me to turn down the radio and he grabbed the steaks. We made dinner in silence mostly he asked me a couple thing that pertained to school but nothing to deep. As we finished making dinner, I saw him set some candles on the table then light them.
Fuck.
He's trying so fucking hard.
I needed to talk to him now. I grabbed the mashed potatoes and set the bowl on the table. The green beans and the steak were already there.
"Dinner is served" Killian grinned at me.
I sat down and he took a seat right next to me. He grabbed the bowl of potatoes and began serve my plate. Smiling shyly at him, I ran through the points that I wanted to discuss with him in my head.
"So, any colleges want you yet?" he asked.
Shifting my eyes to him, I shrugged my shoulders.
"Not sure if I even want to go to college."
He nodded his head stuffing his mouth full of green beans.
"I can understand that, you like to do things when you want them and how you want them."
See, he knows me so well, why does this have to be weird.
"What about you? I'm sure you have tons to choose from."
"I don't know yet either, depends on if I have a reason to stay."
Killian looked through me as he said this. I held his gaze and I knew he was talking about me. In an instant everything slowed down. I watched as he put his fork on the napkin, wet his lips, his big blue eyes looking at me with such passion, his brows creased and in that moment I could see it.
He was going to kiss me.
This was happening.
Killians expression changed from passion to love and he began to lean in. Even though I could see it happening, I was too slow to back up before his lips connected with mine.
I was stuck in my spot.
His lips were a little rough, the faint mustache on his face tickled my nose and I had to hold back a sneeze. Pushing his mouth further on to me, went to bring a hand up to pull me in. His tongue gently brushed up against my lips begging for entrance. My mouth stayed close denying him and he pulled back.
The sting in his eyes was evident. He was hurt.
"So you really don't want this." his voice was hard and rough.
Forcefully he pushed his plate away and got up.
"Emma how in the hell do you know if you want me or not if we don't at least try."
I was taken back by his statement.
"Killian are you fucking serious? I shouldn't have to try to be in a relationship. It should just happen. Why can't you be happy just being my friend?"
My voice was unrecognizable as I pleaded to him.
"Because I can't just be your fucking friend Emma. I...I...-"
No no, don't!
"I'm so fucking in love you."
I sat there in silence. I don't know what he was expecting me to say. Did he expect me to jump up and down, fall into his arms, and we'd live happily ever after?
"And I'm not in love you. I love you yes but-"
He held up his hand to stop me.
"Don't you dare say as a fucking friend."
Killan was breathing heavily, his nostrils flared, and his fists were clenched. His feelings were hurt and his ego was broken. I could see it in his eyes.
"Emma I can't do this anymore...if I can't be more than your friend...then..."
"Oh so now that I don't return your feelings, even though you knew this already, you want to run and hide? Some friend you fucking are." I said standing up.
At this moment I didn't care what was coming out of my mouth. He was fucking pissing me off.
"Fucking get off it Em. Can you come down off the cross? Some of us need the wood. Who stuck by you when you were the new girl in school? Who didn't make fun of you when you're mom cut all your hair off and people called you Emmett Swan? Who was the one you first told about that dick between your legs. Face it Emma, if it wasn't for me, you'd be stuck with your cock in your hands, literally."
The anger rose from deep with in my stomach. He had no right to bring up personal shit like that. I could've brought up the million different embarrassing things he has done and that I've been there for, but I kept my mouth shut on that subject.
I would never hit him below the belt like he just did me.
"Well it's better to have my cock in my hands then in yours." I spat back. "You can fucking go now."
I saw the regret in his eyes, but I was too far gone that I didn't care.
"Em-"
"Get. Out. Now!" I yelled.
I walked over to the door and opened it for him, but he stayed in the kitchen.
"Killian I swear I will drag your sorry ass out of this fucking house with my bare hands."
He thought for a moment before a full on defeated look crossed his feature. He grabbed his keys, wallet, phone, and sulked to the door. His shoulders were slumped over and he dragged his feet. I stood tall at the door wanting to let him know, any smart ass comment would be put down with my fucking fist.
When he got closer, he brought his gaze to mine. He was definitely sorry, but I'm still too upset to be bothered by it. Instead I rolled my eyes and opened the door wider.
"Please, let me just...let's just talk about this."
"No. You've said enough. You can just leave me with my dick my hands."
Yea, that's going to be hard to get over.
Killian reached over to touch me and I shot a nasty glare his way. He brought his hand back quickly and remorse was streaming off his being. His forehead creased with deep lines, jaw clenched, and then he was stomping out of my house. I slammed the door and leaned my back against.
A deep sigh left my lips and I closed my eyes.
Well that went to shit real fast.
I thought about everything that had just transpired between us and I found myself hoping I didn't just lose my longest best friend. Sure Killian was in love with me, but aside from that we shared some really good times.
Through all the fucking bullshit…He was always there for me.
I slouched my shoulders and dragged myself to the kitchen to begin cleaning up. I might have been harsh on him. Had I said what I wanted to from the beginning it wouldn't have gone this far. I could've stopped all of this before it started.
When I was done putting everything I away I headed upstairs with my phone in hand. I needed to talk to someone. I know Belle offered but I needed a more mature point of view. Someone from the outside looking in. As I walked in my bedroom I ran to my desk and began to shuffle through the papers on it. I found the one I was looking for and opened my laptop, pulling up my email. My fingers moved over the keyboard as I typed Ms. Mills email address.
What happens after this though? If I send this email, what comes next?
The last time I opened up to a teacher about what was going on in my personal life, it caused chaos. The teacher I told ended up telling the school counselor, who ended up telling the principle, who ended up telling my parents. After that, they had one big meeting and I was told to talk to the school counselor once a week for the remainder of my 8th grade.
How do I know she won't betray my trust like the last teacher? How do I know I can even trust her in the first place?
Slamming the laptop shut I scoffed then flopped down on my bed and sprawled out. My mind drifted back to Ms. Mills, then to Killian, then back to Ms. Mills.
And that's where it stayed as sleep took over me.
SQSQSQSQSQSQ
The sun was shining on my face hard damn near blinding me as I woke up Saturday morning. I groaned loudly flipping the covers over my head. I was still feeling a little depressed by outburst with Killian. Pushing off the covers I rolled on to my side and checked my phone.
No missed calls. No missed texts.
I'm guessing he hasn't told them yet. Really, I didn't even know if I wanted to tell them. I needed a distraction today, otherwise I would be dwelling on Killian all day. Maybe I could give Ms. Mills a vague version of what happened and she could give me some advice. At the thought of my physics teacher I felt my cock twitch.
I kicked the covers all the way down to my feet and watched as my cock rose to stand at full attention.
It has been awhile since I've jacked off. Like a good few weeks.
Slowly tracing my hand over my abs I made my way to the hard member. I gripped around the base and gasped at the feeling. Slowly I worked my hand up and down my shaft. Usually I thought about some famous woman, someone that I would probably meet. But now, now all I can think about is Ms. Mills.
Again my member jerked, and I let a moan slip from my lips. Pre-cum came out the tip and I worked my thumb over it imagining it was her wetting it with her spit. My hips began to move in time with my hand pumping up and down. I would squeeze at the base, stroke up slowly then drop back down.
I wanted Ms. Mills, on her hands and knees taking me. I imagined that I was hitting the back of her throat. Wanting her to swallow every ounce of me. I squeezed around the hard cock, soon reaching down with my other hand to work my balls. Aggressively my hips pumped into my fist and my toes curled at the waves of pleasure rolling through my body. Closing my eyes, I felt the building pressure in my lower abdomen. Faster and faster I worked my cock and fondled my balls, clenching my ass with each thrust up. I groaned so loud my noise filled the empty house.
I began to sweat and I could feel my hair sticking to my face. My mouth hung open as I neared the edge. I was so close. I bit down on my lip so hard I could taste the metallic flavor seep between my teeth. One more stroke down, one more squeeze to my balls and thick strings of cum flew out and hit my lips and chin.
It flowed out like lava, completely covering my hands and my thighs, and worst my lips. The salty liquid dipped into my mouth as I came down from my high not caring where I had left my seed. My phone began to vibrate continuously and the weight that I felt last night came back.
What if it was Ruby? Or Belle? What if they were just trying to chew me out for how I acted yesterday. Reluctantly I reached for my phone.
"Hello?" I said not bothering to check the caller ID.
"Hey Ems, are you alive yet?" Jefferson asked
I got up out of bed and walked to the bathroom to clean myself off.
"I'm alive, yes."
"Well you sound pretty gone. You okay? You're not getting sick right? Because I need to go shopping, and you're the only one who can hang with me."
Okay, so it sounded like he didn't know yet. Did the others?
"You know, I would like that a lot."
Yes, some time out of the house would do me some good. Being home alone today with all my crazy thoughts would only make me over think everything. A little bit of fresh air mixed with Jefferson's comedy is just what the doctor ordered.
"Great, I'll be there in 15 minutes."
He hung up the phone without my response. Threw my cell on the bed and started the water to the shower. I took the fastest shower ever, because Jefferson's 15 minutes was not like everyone else, 15 is more like 7.
Jumping out the shower, I dried off quickly and threw on some sweats with a tank top. My cock was still a little hard from thinking about Ms. Mills, but what else is new there. The doorbell rang as I finished tying my laces to my shoes. I rushed downstairs with my phone, keys, and wallet in hand. I opened the door and Jefferson was standing there all smiles. His hair was messy, and like me had on sweats and tank top.
I smiled back attempting to hide how I was really feeling. Which was overall, like shit.
"You okay?" he asked. God damn, why do I even try to lie to them.
I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.
"I just need to get away for a bit."
He nodded at me and his concern was deep in his features.
"I can make that happen babe."
Stepping into the house he wrapped me up in a big bear hug.
"Come on Em, let's go. We can vent together. Then go shopping and grab some food?"
Yes, this is definitely what the doctor ordered.
A/N: Hope you all enjoyed Emma's little moment ;) til next time. Happy I can update way more than I thought while being gone!