My head was laying across Jefferson legs. He was running his fingers through my hair occasionally playing with the end of it. We had decided to go shopping before we came to the park. He talked about Coach Robin and his new fiance. A topic of conversation I really didn't want to have. After that we grabbed some deli sandwiches, and now, it's my turn to vent. Only I can't seem to get the words out. Not once had Jefferson mentioned Killian, so I can assume he didn't know.
Monday is going to be so awkward.
"You know I don't have to tell the rest of the group." he stated, trying to make me comfortable.
"I know, it's just complicated."
The light traces in my hair had ceased.
"Wait, does it have to do with our group?"
Sighing I sat up from his lap and leaned back on my elbows. The sun felt good against my skin, and the late November breeze was cool, the combination was amazing. Jefferson stared at me waiting for me to speak.
"It does."
He moved closer to me and laid down on his side.
"We can keep it between us." he reassured.
"Killian..." I sighed. "He kissed me last night."
My words were heavy and the guilt I felt for kicking him out crept up again. I looked to Jefferson and his eyes were wide. His mouth hung open.
"Killian fucking kissed you?" he said startled. "What happened? Did you kiss him back?"
"No I didn't kiss him back. And then we got into to a fight. He said some things. I said some things. Then I kicked him out."
I could see the confused expression on his face before relaxing. He stood and reached his hand out to me.
"Come on. The swings always cheer you up when you're down."
Smiling at him I took his hand and he helped me up. I wrapped my arm through his and walked over to the play ground.
"So what did he say to you?"
I shook my head.
"I can't tell you. It would only piss you off, and I don't need you acting all stand off ish to him."
We got to the swing set and I immediately, sat down, kicked my feet, trying to find a rhythm.
"No I won't, what could he have possibly said that would be so bad."
Jefferson, sat on the swing next to me and pushed off the ground matching my pace.
"Unless..." he continued. Then shot a look at me. "Unless he said something about your..." he trailed off.
Shit.
I kept my head down to the ground. I couldn't make eye contact with him, he would know. But me not responding also gives him my answer too.
"Emma, look at me."
Nope.
"Did he, please don't tell me he mentioned...I will chew his ass out."
Jefferson had slowed down to stop. He was visibly shaking and his jaw was tight. I could see him grinding his teeth, his hands gripped tightly around the metal chains.
"I know he can be a baby, but that, that is just wrong. I can't believe him."
"See, this is why I didn't want to go into this."
"Emma, look we are all friends. But we also don't have problem calling fuckers out. Come Monday I we will be having a talk."
"No Jefferson, please. I need you to be as normal as possible."
Kicking out my feet I stopped the swing abruptly. I lifted my eyes to him and pleaded. He sighed and shook his head.
"This is fucked up. But, I will do my best." He reached his hand in the middle and I grabbed it. We found a steady pace and rocked back and forth.
"Thank you."
"Will you be okay on Monday?"
I shrugged my shoulders.
"I'll probably just hide in the library."
"Does anybody else know?"
"Just you. Belle knows we were suppose to hang...unless he told them..."
"I doubt it, one of them would have called me to tell me."
We sat there in silence.
Swinging back and forth.
Jefferson rubbed small circles on top of my hand and I sighed, relaxing into the touch.
"So, this question may be too soon. But are you into anyone at school?"
My breath hitched and I bit my lip. I would say Ms. Mills doesn't count as me being 'into' her. I'm just attracted to her. I don't like her.
"I mean, you haven't really been out with anyone since Lily." he finished.
Gag. You just had to bring her up.
"No, I've hooked up with some girls."
"Girls from other schools don't count. It's like you don't want to get close with anyone because of what happened with her."
Damn, just kick me while I'm down.
"Listen, I just don't want anybody finding out, my issue."
Jefferson scoffed and jumped off the swing. I slowed down to stop and he walked in front of me after, holding the chains just above my hands.
"You don't have an issue Emma. Clearly if the other girls you hooked up didn't care, why would anybody here."
"I don't care if they know, we don't go to the same school. But girl's here...I mean Lily runs the school. Plus when have you been so interested in my love life?"
"I've always been into your love life. I just want you to be happy, and I just remember how happy you were before she fucked everything up."
I let go the chain, then pressed my fingers against my head. Taking a deep breath, I let his words echo.
He's right, but so am I. It's hard to get caught up in drama in a school you don't go to.
I felt his hand wrap around mine and pull it away from my face. His blue eyes stared down at me.
"Hey." he said with a smile. "Someone out there will love you just as much if not more than we do. No rush, no pressure, I just want you to know, I'm here for you and I want you happy. And when you do find that person, you will fucking call me to tell me that you need a maid of honor."
A laugh bubbled from my chest, and my face broke into a smile.
A soft, genuine, smile.
We shared a laugh before he cupped my hands and pulled me off the swing. He wrapped his arm around my shoulder, and mine glued to his waist.
"Thanks Jefferson." I said softly.
"Of course. Now that the heavy stuff is out the way, how do you feel about sushi?"
"The perfect remedy to a shitty night."
He pulled me in closer and finally my spirits were turning. Who knows maybe the rest of the weekend won't be so bad.
SQSQSQSQ
I flipped through the channels mindlessly. Sunday morning's were always filled with reruns of show's I've seen a thousand times. It really did help hanging out with Jefferson yesterday, he just has the vibe about him, and you can't help but smile when's he's around.
I slept like a baby after sushi, it always makes me pass out. Today however I would clean the house, do some homework, and figure out how I would approach Killian tomorrow. I hope he's calmed down, but my ignored calls and texts say otherwise. I hate when he gets like this. Always running when shit gets too crazy.
I wonder if he'll sit with us at lunch? He probably would. He'd get there before I would, then joke with the gang and laugh like everything is good. He knows it will frustrate me, and since I don't like causing a scene, he knows I'll probably avoid him all together.
Fucking guys.
My phone chimed making me jump a little.
It was an email notification.
I opened it up and sitting in my inbox was an email from Ms. Mills. My heart jumped a little and stomach pulled.
Why was she emailing me.
Curiosity got me and I clicked on it.
Hi class, Sorry I wasn't there Friday, read chapter 2.4, but DON'T answer the questions at the end. We will go over it tomorrow.
I sank into the cushions of my couch. She had the entire 6th period class tagged in the email.
Damn it.
Once again, I wasn't special.
Maybe I could show up early and see her tomorrow. Start my day off right.
My eyes widened at the thought.
Start my day off right?
What the fuck am I saying?
The doorbell rang loudly and shrieked. Who in the fuck was here on a Sunday? I sprinted to the door, ready to cuss out the person standing there, but when I opened it the UPS truck was driving off. At the base of the door was a brown box.
My spandex! There here just in time.
I grabbed it, closed the door, then tore the box to shreds. I smiled at the new clothing addition. I ordered 2 red, and 2 black, had padding on the inside, with a cloth sack that lined the middle so I could tuck and take extra precaution on not being seen.
Jogging to my phone I opened up the group chat I had with my parents.
My spandex came! Thank you guys again!
Before I could put my phone down it beeped again.
YAY! You're father and I will be home around 7 tonight. We miss you, can't wait to see you."
I sent them a thumbs up and a heart, then dropped my phone back on the couch. It beeped again but to my surprise it was Ruby's name that popped up.
Hey can I come by? I feel like I haven't seen my best friend in forever
I smiled back at the message.
Totally agree. I miss the fuck out of you. The door will be unlocked
I sped through the house to clean up, not that she would mind but I didn't want to save all the cleaning until the last minute. 15 minutes later the front door opened and Ruby bounded in.
I would have to wear an emotional mask today, this girl could read me like a 3rd grade book.
"Where's my lady at?" she called.
"In here!" I yelled back.
The door shut and she leaped into the living room.
"Ah, there she is!"
I smiled, a little cheeky, and she raised her eyebrow.
Shit, already fucking up.
"You good? You're giving me a crazy fucking grin right now."
I threw a pillow at her to try and joke around. She caught it with ease and threw it back at me. '
"So are you ready for practice tomorrow?"
She flopped down on the coach.
"I am. Look at what came today."
I held up my shorts for her to see and she nodded her head enthusiastically.
"Let me see em."
Tossing the spandex at her she eyed them closely.
"These feel so comfy." she looked inside them and smiled. "Can never be too careful right."
"Exactly. Can't wait to try them on."
"You haven't yet?"
Her eyes grew wide.
"No." I replied.
"Girl, you better put these on!"
She handed them back and I began to walk to the bathroom.
"You can just change right here."
I paused mid step and turned around to face her.
"Um-"
"Oh come on Em. It's not like I haven't seen it before."
"Yea, 9th grade. Things have changed since then. A lot."
She lifted the corner of her mouth and tilted her head to the side.
"Changed in a good way?" Ruby asked winking at me.
I couldn't help but blush.
"Thing's are fitting tighter than they use to."
Giggling Ruby got up from the coach and walked over to me. We've done some stuff some in the past, we've never hooked up, but she did give a blow job 3 times freshman year. We make out sometimes, but all that is usually when she has had some alcohol.
Maybe Killian should take some lessons from her on how to act normal when shit happens.
She stopped about 4 feet away from.
"Go to the bathroom, I'll be right here."
Quickly I walked away and shut the door behind me.
Well, that was unexpected.
Why was she looking at me like that?
I pushed the thoughts away and changed into my new shorts. With haste I tucked myself in the spandex. They fit perfectly. Checking myself out in the mirror you couldn't see a bulge, I smiled broadly.
I'm going to have to order more.
Opening the door I stepped out onto the hardwood floor. Ruby bit her lip and kept her eyes on my legs.
"You definitely need to show those legs more often. They look really good on you Em."
"Okay, you have to stop looking at me like that. Both you and Killian-"
I shut my mouth instantly.
Did I just say that out loud.
Did she notice?
"Killian was here?" Ruby asked.
Guess she did.
"Yea, we just hung out."
Please don't ask for the details.
"Mhm."
Mhm?
Fuck, she wasn't buying it. She knows there's more. I could see it in her eyes she wanted to ask questions but instead, she nodded and took a step up to me.
"Well, I think you look amazing in those. None of the girls will be able to tell."
My shoulders dropped and let a low breath out. I skated by, barely.
"Thank you."
"So can I see it now?"
Can she see what?
Oh!
"No you can't!" I snapped back.
"Please! I'm dying to know."
"Why?"
Seriously. Why?
"Because, when we were in the locker room this week, you were having such problems fitting it in. The last time I saw it, it was a decent but not really big. So I wondered how large it had gotten and then it was endless rabbit hole from there. And you know once I get hooked on something it's hard to take my mind off it."
I sighed.
"You're not going to let this go are you?"
She shook her head no.
"10 seconds, on my count."
Ruby smiled and said yes.
I hooked my fingers around the shorts and pulled them down to the middle of my thighs. I reached between my legs and pulled it out. My cock flopped down against my leg and when I looked up Ruby had a sparkle of lust in her eye.
"Emma. Oh my God. You've really grown into that thing."
She bent down and looked at it.
"7, 6, 5, 4,-"
"It's got veins and everything."
"-2, 1. Times up."
I took the shorts off and grabbed my sweats from the bathroom, throwing them on in a hurry. When I walked back out, Ruby was on the couch laying down. I walked over to her, lifted her feet and sat down placing them on top of my legs.
"So that was impressive."
Her eyes were closed but she wore a smile.
"Thanks, I think?"
"You think?"
She scoffed.
"Dude, do I really need to tell you how awesome and gorgeous you are. Any person would be lucky to have you."
I seem to be hearing that a lot lately.
"I just don't see what you all see. I'm just me."
I began to trace patterns up and down her legs.
"Yes and that's what people like about you. You don't try to be something you're not. And even though you don't see it, you really are attractive."
"You're suppose to say those things. You're my best friend."
"Bitch you know I don't say anything unless I mean it. I just hope that one day someone will make you believe that you are."
I felt the warmth come forth on my cheeks.
"Why are you being so weird?"
She froze for a moment then swung her legs off of me and sat up. Her hand ran through her long brown hair and she held it behind her neck.
"Shit is just happening so fast. Pretty soon we'll all be out of this little California town and into the world. Don't you get a little...worried we all won't be as close as we have been?"
I paused before answering.
"Well-yes. It does make me nervous."
Fact.
It's a scary thought. They have been my best friends for so long and the thought of not being able to see them as much as I use to is daunting.
She moved closer to me and leaned her head on my shoulder.
"Promise me, we won't stop talking. No matter what happens, we'll always be best friends. All of us."
I turned my head, and dropped it to place a gentle kiss on Ruby's head.
"Promise." I replied talking into her hair.
She reached over and intertwined our fingers.
"Good."
We cuddled in silence before she spoke again.
"What time do the Big Swans get home?"
"Around 7." I chuckled.
"Do you have anything to finish up before they get here?"
"Finish cleaning and some homework."
Ruby lifted her head back and locked our eyes.
"I can stay and help."
"I'd like that."
She stood up, stretched out her body then headed for the kitchen. My thoughts drifted back to her earlier concern.
Would we still be friends?
You hear it all the time. They promise to stay close but then life happens, and soon they're not. I followed her into the kitchen, trying to push away the negativity that I was feeling.
SQSQSQSQ
The front door swung open and I heard heavy footsteps thunder in the house.
"Emma! We're back!" Dad yelled.
I met them in the front and went in for one of their amazing hugs. They both squeezed around my body and that beautiful warm cocoon of love filled me.
"How was your weekend?" Mom asked before she gently kissed my forehead.
"It's been good." I replied softly.
They let me go and stepped back. After small talk I helped them bring there things up the stairs and too their room.
"Have you eaten yet?" Dad asked from the closet.
"No, I haven't, but I'm not really all that hungry."
Both my parents stopped what they were doing. My dad stuck is head out of the closet and mom looked puzzled.
"You are not hungry? Okay what's wrong Emma." she asked as she took a step towards me.
"Nothing, I'm just tired and I missed you guys."
It wasn't a complete fabrication. I was tired and I did miss them.
They eyed me carefully then sat on the bed leaving a spot in the middle. He gently patted the mattress and sighed.
Great, here comes the pep talk.
Way to go Emma.
You are shitty at lying to your parents.
But they do have eyes like a hawk. It's hard to get anything past them.
I trudged over to the bed, lifted myself up then plopped down. I couldn't tell them what happened with Killian, dad would fucking lose his mind. They weren't going to let me go until I told them something, so instead I settled for this:
"Do you guys still talk to your friends from high school?"
I laid down with my back flat against the bed and my legs dangling off the edge. On both sides of me the mattress dipped as my parents followed my movements. Dad had his hand behind his head and mom crossed her fingers and placed them on her stomach.
"Yes, we do. Not all of them. But some of them." he said.
"How many?" I asked.
"Well Katherine and Ariel, the one's I always meet for dinner on Thursday. And your dad still sees Phillip and Daniel."
"Yes there on my bowling team" he said proudly.
I didn't say anything right away.
"So out all your friends, you only talk to two?"
Not a fan of those odds.
I sighed deeply and closed my eyes.
"Is this about you and Killian?" mom asked softly. "Are you worried you guys won't be friends after graduation?"
Not sure we are now.
"Yes, him and the others. Ruby came over today and she admitted she was worried. If I'm being honest, so am I. They've been there for me through a lot...not sure I'm going to find anyone else like them."
"Oh honey..." my mom cooed as she pulled me into her side.
"Listen, sweetie. You guys have a bond that I've never seen before. Grant it, some of them might move to other states, but your friendship will last through the distance. But you also need to understand that there are roughly 7.6 billion people on this planet. Those 4 will not be the only ones who love you." dad stated.
"Yea but, they are the only ones who know I'm different."
Mom kissed my forehead and rubbed my back before she spoke.
"Emma, to be fair, you haven't given anyone a chance to know. Trust me, I know kids are cruel, but you can't go through life basing adults off the actions of high schools kids. You have to give people a chance. Understand?"
Well, she had a point.
I nodded my head and closed my eyes.
"It's just scary, ya know?" my words were barely audible.
"The world is a scary place." he replied. "Some people will be assholes, but I think everything happens for a reason. I think the reason Ruby, Belle, Jefferson, and Killian have been in your life for so long is because they are meant to be. Not just until graduation, but forever."
Damn they are so good at this.
I untangled myself from mom and sat up again. They stayed laying on the bed behind me.
"You hungry now?" asked dad. "We were thinking of going out to that Thai place you like."
My stomach growled at the word and my parents chuckled.
"I guess I am hungry now. But I have to finish my homework."
"Alright sweetie, we'll bring you back something."
I slipped off the bed and turned to face them.
"Thank you guys. I mean it."
"No problem Emma. We are here for you. Always."
They both got off the bed and opened there arms. I leaned for a tight bear hug then walked out of the room and into mine. I closed the door behind me and got some of my text books out. I flipped through the physics book first and turned to the chapter.
Kinematics: Distance and Displacement in Physics
Thank goodness we are going over this in class tomorrow. As I read through the chapter, my mind kept drifting back to Killian and our friendship. I couldn't let it go over something so small in comparison to all we've been through.
A/N: Sorry for the late update guys! Jet lag had me by the neck and I was all fucked up. I'm sure you're bummed no Regina this chapter but I wanted this story to have some depth, and Emma needs to grow up a little before she can realize her feelings. With that said, expect SQ next chapter!