Remus rushed past the recliner, almost knocking over Severus's tea.
"Watch it, Lupin!" the potions master yelped, grabbing his cup. "I just made this."
"Well, excuse me for trying to get this house presentable before guests arrive."
Severus rolled his eyes, but remained silent. Just four more hours before he could once again sit in his potions lab in peace."You take Regulus after this, right?"
"Yes, I will take him and Harry to the park. You can play with your potions in peace."
"At least you finally stopped calling it my chemistry set."
"I never called it your chemistry set. Sirius and James, however…" Remus trailed off as the floo chimed.
The dark man scowled as he went to answer the fireplace. "And who told them that potions is similar to chemistry?"
"Sue me for answering a question."
Severus took a deep breath. He shut his eyes briefly and unlocked the floo.
"Professor Snape?" Molly scrunched her nose. "Did we get the wrong house?"
"Unfortunately, you did not," he sighed. "Welcome to the Lupin House of Training Small Animals." He rolled his eyes. "I mean, children."
Arthur furrowed his brow. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but what are you doing here?"
"I ask myself that frequently."
"Severus has a son," Remus said as he set down the tea cakes.
"He does?" Molly gasped. "I'm sorry. I've just never realized."
"I hadn't either, until recently." Severus plopped into his recliner unceremoniously. "He is the product of a brief affair that occurred a few years ago. I was never made aware of the outcome until his mother died of an overdose. I've decided to do further research on my lovers in the future."
"Unnecessary ending, but okay," Remus muttered. "Regulus Snape is one of my students."
As if on cue, Sirius burst through the kitchen doors, followed by a giant rat. Not an abnormally large rat, but a rat the size of a large dog.
"Moony, save me!" the animagus jumped into the lycanthrope's arms.
"What the hell?" Remus asked, nearly dropping the boy at the sight of the engorgioed rodent. "Regulus Snape, what did you do?"
"Daddy said I couldn't have a dog, and I saw all the rats he keeps in the potions lab…"
"Regulus," Severus moaned, "how many times must I tell you 'you are not allowed to be in the potions lab'?"
"Uhm, at least once more?" Sirius said cheekily.
"Don't get smart with me, young man…"
"So, what do we do with the rat?" Remus asked, staring at the enlarged animal.
Arthur glanced at Molly. "I wonder if Percy would mind another rat." He counteracted the engorgio, picking up the creature.
"And look who just came through the floo," Remus said, shaking his head. "How is it you always miss the catastrophes?"
"Perfect timing, I suppose," Lucius said, smirking. "To what has Cissy's godson gotten himself involved in this time?"
"He engorgioed this rat," Arthur said, holding out the rodent. "However, I question how a four-year-old was able to do that. It's some pretty advanced accidental magic."
"It's an advanced child." Lucius set Draco down. "You can expect nothing less from Severus's progeny."
"And my guidance," Remus added. He turned to Molly and Arthur. "However, I don't focus on magic unless a parent specifically requests magical training."
"Good!" Molly sighed. "The last thing we need is Fred or George learning any magical spells before Hogwarts."
"Shall we start orientation?" the tutor asked, nodding to Percy. "I believe this young man should be able to take the kids to the playroom while we adults discuss specifics."
The Weasley matriarch nodded. "Go on, boys, and play with Draco and Regulus."
"Why does he get to be in charge?" Sirius whined.
Severus clenched his teeth. "Because he's the oldest."
"But-"
The potions master nudged his charge to quiet him. The animagus rolled his eyes.
They all watched as the children ran upstairs. Arthur turned to Severus. "Your son has quite the attitude for a four-year-old."
"He gets it from his godmother."
"Please, feel free to take a seat." Remus motioned to the number of chairs circling the living room. "Welcome to Lupin's Kindergarten. I appreciate having you all here and allowing me to mold your child's mind in preparation for their future in the magical world."
"We don't need the platitudes," Severus sighed, motioning for Remus to move along. "Just tell us what you plan to do to our children."
The lycanthrope smirked and grabbed a few booklets. "I have here a few handouts, mostly curriculum and my teaching philosophy."
Lucius opened the booklet and the words "Bloom's Taxonomy" flew off the page. "Lupin, when did you have the time to enchant these?"
"Naptime."
"Is that your answer to everything?"
"When you spend a good hour-and-a-half sitting around waiting for a child to wake up, you find things to do to keep busy." Remus shrugged. "Now, as you can see, each year has specific standards I hope to master."
"Math, reading, science, history, all the basics," Severus said. "Looks good to me!"
"Severus, please save your comments for the end of the presentation."
"I don't know if I can wait five years."
"Yes, we all know you want to get back to your chemistry set."
"You promised you wouldn't call it that!" Severus stood in indignation.
"And you promised to take this presentation seriously."
"That's before I knew you wrote your doctoral dissertation and imbued it with presentation spells."
Lucius stood and got between the two men. "Children, enough." He turned to Severus. "Shut up and allow Lupin his one chance to present his opus."
Snape huffed and plopped back in his chair.
Remus turned to Arthur and Molly. "I apologize. We are trying not to let our childhood grievances affect our working relationship."
"You two have childhood grievances?" Arthur asked, brow furrowed.
"Arthur, with all due respect," Lucius rubbed his eyes, "you do not want to open that chocolate frog if you want to leave here before Ronald and Draco begin Hogwarts."
"Thank you," Remus said, pulling out his wand. He waved it and a whiteboard appeared. Another wave and a projector also appeared. He continued his presentation, his audience following along on the slides. "I've taken standards from the colonies and have grabbed a few textbooks from local schools. All of these together make up the core of my instruction. I hope to spend thirty minutes on each subject every day, with fifteen minute recess breaks in-between. After we've hit the core subjects, we will have lunch, then music, then art, then naptime, and finally, playtime. Of course, alterations will be made based on age. For example, I highly doubt Percy will need a nap and the twins may have a short rest time, but not naptime."
"And during naptime, Percy could probably read a book. He's very easy to entertain," Arthur said, nodding along as he looked over the tentative schedule.
"Yes, my thoughts exactly," Remus advanced to the next slide.
"I don't know how I feel about my boys being gone all day," Molly said, chewing her lip. "Isn't that almost like they are already at Hogwarts?"
"This is more similar to how muggles educate their children. They sometimes send their children off as young as one or two to an all-day care center." Remus sighed. "However, you may also take them home after lunch, if you wish."
"I think you may find you enjoy your time alone, Mrs. Weasley," Severus said. "You can spend more quality time with your youngest, Ginerva."
Lucius looked over at Severus. "You know a lot about their family."
"I have long talks with Bill. He's an interesting young student." Severus smiled. "I also have long talks with Charlie, but those I do not look forward to."
"He apologized for trying to steal those potions," Molly said, rubbing her eyes.
"Didn't stop him the next time," Severus grumbled.
"Do you have any questions?" Remus asked.
"Will there be a snack provided?" Arthur asked, looking down the line of approved lunch menu options.
"Yes, it will be parent-provided on rotation. This ensures the parents are invested in their children." Remus looked pointedly at Severus.
"You realize that means you are the one providing snack those days, correct?" Severus said, crossing his arms.
"Severus, I will say this one last time: I will not raise Regulus for you."
"Why do I foresee this becoming one big baking competition between Molly and Narcissa?" Lucius asked.
"Oh, please! Like Narcissa can bake."
"You're right," Severus said. "It's going to be a baking competition between Molly and Lucius."
"I bake better cupcakes and you know it!" Lucius quipped.
Meanwhile, Sirius had found his calling as the newest addition to the Weasley twins.
"Wait, you mean we can actually turn Mum's hair green without using food dye?" George asked, smirking.
"Of course! You just need a few grass clippings, eye of newt, and an open flame," Sirius said.
"How do you know this?" Percy asked, crossing his arms.
"My dad's a potions master."
"Yeah, but he's a stickler for rules and I highly doubt he allows you near his cauldrons."
Sirius shrugged. "What he doesn't know won't hurt him."
"That's a very dangerous thing to live by," Percy said. His lips thinned and he tilted his head. "What do you guys want to do?"
"Prank Professor Snape!" Fred said.
"No, I would like to live, thank you very much."
"We could go see if Harry wants to play," Draco said, pulling out a stuffed animal from the toy trunk.
"Who's Harry?" Ron asked. He sat on the ground and looked up at the blonde.
Sirius crossed his arms. "Harry Potter."
The four Weasley boys' eyes widened. "Harry Potter?"
"Yeah, he lives next door."
Ron jumped from his spot on the floor. He ran to the stairs. "Mum! Mum, guess what?"
Molly looked up at the stairwell. "What is it, Ronniekins?"
"Harry Potter lives next door!"
Remus, Severus, and Lucius all exchanged glances.
"How much do I have to pay you to not tell anyone what you just heard?" Lucius asked, shifting in his seat.
Arthur quirked a brow. "You don't plan on hurting the boy, do you?"
"James and Lily were my best friends in school. I wouldn't let anyone look at him with any malice," Remus said, leaning against the fireplace.
"Then what does it matter if anyone knows?" Molly asked, lips pursed.
"The boy has been through enough," Severus said, rubbing his brow. "We don't need a small concert of fans constantly surrounding his place of residence."
"Besides, the HOA has very specific noise ordinances - for some Merlin-forsaken reason - and I hate to be the one causing Narcissa more headaches," Lucius added.
"Does Dumbledore know?" Arthur asked.
"Do you really believe Dumbledore doesn't know where he put the baby?" Severus asked.
"Well, he did leave him on the doorstep," Remus muttered under his breath.
"As long as nothing bad happens, I don't see why we have to go around sharing someone's personal information, like where they live," Arthur said, shrugging.
"Okay, good," Remus said, shoulders sagging in relief. "Harry happens to be my halfblood student. His cousin may be my muggle, if his mother ever accepts he is not the next Churchill."
"I had to keep him from eating the nightshade. I really hope she stops her delusions of grandeur soon," Severus said, finishing his tea.
"Any other questions?" Remus asked.
Molly raised her hand. "Yes, why are you living next door to Harry Potter?"
"Pure, unadulterated accident."
Severus rolled his eyes. "When is the first day?"
The lycanthrope's eyes widened. He rubbed the back of his neck. "I, uhm, well - I haven't thought of that."
Lucius's eyes dropped down to the booklet in front of him. "You have planned what they are going to do on the 28th of January, but not when they're starting?"
"I was trying to be a bit more fluid, rather than having a rigid start and end date," he frowned, "for flexibility's sake. I know Severus has a rough start of the year, what with all that goes on with getting a potions classroom ready. The Weasley's will have their hands full until Bill and Charlie go off to school in September. I don't know when the next HOA meeting is and the House of Lords meets so sporadically, but for whatever reason, it needs a week-long time slot. So, as you can see, I didn't feel comfortable creating a hard-and-fast start date. For all of our sanity, how about you all discuss and decide? I, for one, have a very free schedule."
"Lupin, your potions study session is next week," Severus said, smirking.
"I, for one, cannot start next week."
"Two weeks, then," Lucius said as he flipped through the booklet one last time.
Arthur nodded. "Sounds good to us!"
"Perfect, we shall begin at nine on Monday, two weeks from today," Remus announced.
"Yes, I get my potions time back," Severus cheered.
"Molly and Arthur, you are free to join us as we take the kids down to the park. Severus, just don't leave the asphodel out on the table and remember to pick up Regulus before six."
"Why do you care if he leaves the asphodel out on the table?" Molly asked as they rounded up the children.
"It has a distinct smell and I can already tell I will be having many more regularly scheduled headaches."
"And yet you still choose this."
Remus rolled his eyes as Sirius jumped on his back. "It still eludes me as to why."