Chapter 4: A New Home?

Aberforth Dumbledore in this time looked just as disgruntled as he would be in twenty years time. Hermione had just arrived in front of the bar of the Hogs Head after a stroll alone through Hogsmeade, observing the slight changes from her own time. It was thankfully class time on the last day of term at Hogwarts, so she had not encountered any passing students, and Albus had left her at the school boundary, allowing her to explore Hogsmeade alone.

After giving her name to her new guardian, he grunted noncommittally and she was led up to a sparsely decorated room situated at the back of the building. Indicating a small, worn chest and drawers and wardrobe that lay against one wall, he apologized about the lack of storage space. Hermione clocked the slight glance towards the small beaded bag that she was holding and decided to offer the proverbial olive branch.

"I take it that Dumbledore told you of my situation then?"

"Albus." He quickly interrupted, "As my own name is also Dumbledore I would prefer it if you referred to my brother by his first name or something else. You may call me Aberforth and yes, I know about the circumstances with which you came here."

"Do you have any questions? Or do u just want to stare at me suspiciously from now on?" She joked with a small smile.

Slightly flustered that he had been caught, he snorted and left the room, allowing her to unpack what little she had. It had turned out that the majority of the clothes she owned were practically unwearable with the amount of wear and tear they had endured. Nonetheless, a couple of Harry and Ron's old shorts and t-shirts that she had kept in her bag were wearable and so she changed out of the clothes that Madame Pomfrey had given her.

As she began to sort her clothes into two piles and then proceeded to burn one, and pack the other away into her drawers, she realised that her first task would be to shop for clothes. She could see that the small amount of money that she had kept in the beaded bag would not stretch far and concluded that she would also have to get a job.

When she had finished sorting the room out she was called downstairs to eat a small meal of Shepard's Pie. Aberforth continued to gaze at her so she averted her eyes to the framed portrait of Arianna that would become the passageway that took her, Harry and Ron into the castle. Aberforth noticed where she was looking and visibly stiffened.

"I do not want to know what you know of the future of this war, or any of the people that I know and especially not myself. However, it is obvious that you know something's about my life and it would probably save time to know what you know about what has already happened to me."

Relieved to finally break the tension, Hermione quickly replied, "I know about Arianna, and in the circumstances she died including your brother and Grindelwald, I know that you are a member of the Order of the Phoenix, and I know that your patronus is a goat. Other than that, everything else is a mystery because I have only spoken to you once, and for only half an hour."

He snorted, "Half an hour? You must be a fast worker if you got all of that out of me in only half an hour." At that she looked up and returned his small smile.

"Hmmm yes, I have been known to be persistent and quite annoying at times, they even used to call me the brightest witch of my time back then, so feel free to shut me up when I go off on one." At that slip of the tongue she reconsidered what she had said.

"That is, not back then, but in a time that technically does not exist yet, and probably never will now that I am here. So I don't really know what I am anymore…" her smile slipped and she became very interested in a knot in the grain of wood in the table.

Picking up on this change of mood, Aberforth quickly intercepted, "But is there something you really wish you could do or become, but were held back by what everyone thought of you? Seeing as you no longer really exist, you could completely reinvent yourself as Hermione Dumbledore."

Having never heard her name said out loud in that way, Hermione started whispering the name to herself, testing how it rolled off the tongue. It broke her heart to part ways with her family name, but it had to be done just in case there was some unforeseen anomaly, and a baby Hermione was born in two years time.

She smiled weakly at Aberforth's attempt at cheering her up and refocused on her food before asking him about jobs over the upcoming holidays at The Hog's Head. Although the gesture had touched her, she could see that Aberforth was uncomfortable acting in the role of a guardian, so she fought it wise to direct the conversation to something he was comfortable with.

Hermione had not yet slept in this new world, so when she got back to her room she sagged in exhaustion. She had gone to bed early because it was getting close to the busiest time in the pub and Aberforth had to leave to help. Hermione quickly changed and crawled into her bed.

Staring up at the ceiling of her room and listening to the ruckus below her, Hermione suddenly realised that this was the first time since she had awoken where she hadn't been planning, strategizing or simply getting used to her surroundings. In the heavy quiet it occurred to her how alone she was.

Feelings of despair hit her like a truck. Everyone she had ever known either did not exist yet or did not know her from Adam. There was no one who would understand her situation, no one who could properly empathise with what she had lost and no one that could truly comfort her.

She herself could barely comprehend it, so how could a stranger who knew nothing of her life story possibly try. Even if she made new friends, they could not compare. It's like when you go to a different secondary school and try to meet new people, regaling inside jokes and funny anecdotes. However, no one knows what you are talking about, cares to find out more and you don't have a clue what they're talking about either.

Speaking of, she was going to have to go about her life pretending not to know life shattering information about the people close to her. She would have to pass Professor Lupin in the halls on the eve of the full moon and pretend to not notice how he was feeling. Or share a dorm with Lily Evans knowing the exact number of days she would still have on this earth.

Furthermore, she pondered with a whimper, she would have to look into those deep green eyes of her and be forced to remember the friend she had lost. Her Harry was dead no matter the outcome. Either she saved his parents lives and he was shaped into a completely different person with the experience of a loving family, or she would fail and he would eventually die again, just like the first time but without her help this time.

Her memories of childhood would never happen, and then she would be burdened with an existence that could have been. When her memories would fade, there would be no one there to remind her or joke about the glory days. Her entire existence in this timeline was a paradox and she was the anomaly.

More sobs racked her body as she realised that she would never embrace her parents again. Imagine that, a stranger coming up to you on the street and claiming she was your daughter, yet she was only a couple years younger than yourself. Removing their memories was difficult, but the thought that those memories would never happen in the first place pretty much cleaved her heart in two.

The Weasley family had become a sort of magical family by proxy but it occurred to her that if she made those connections again, it would never be in the same context. Mrs Weasley would be a peer rather than a motherly figure, and the Weasley boys would be like nephews. Ginny would be a child, when previously they had been gossiping teens, giggling about awkward interactions with boys and their first kisses.

Ron was a weird problem to think about. She had spent practically the past five years falling in love with him and constantly being there for him as his friend. However, when they had kissed on the battlefield she had definitely felt something missing. It was an odd conundrum because she now felt incredibly guilty for even thinking this.

There he was dead, and she was healthy and safe, and yet she had felt nothing. Was this great love something she had built up in her head? Sure, the kiss had been okay and on par with those from Krum and Cormac, but she hadn't felt anything new. Had he? Whatever the answer, now she couldn't tell him about her loss of romantic feelings or even know if he felt the same.

Her body was soon overcome, snot and tears streaming down her face as her frame was wracked with sobs. She tried to be quiet but it felt like her breath would not come fast enough so she had to resort to taking great but gulps of air wherever possible. At some point in the evening she began to notice that the sounds of the pub's patrons had disappeared and all that she was left with was stone cold silence.

Ashamed that Aberforth might have walked past and heard her crying, Hermione got out of bed to go to the bathroom to clean herself up. As she opened the door she jumped back at the sight that greeted her. Aberforth's goat patronus was curled up just outside the door as if to protect herself from the bad thoughts that she was experiencing.

The thought that this grumpy, austere man had felt the need to comfort her in this time of need greatly touched her. She knew that he would never hug or hold her like her own parents would have because that is not how he worked, but even this small gesture made her feel loved.

It was due to this that a small smile graced her face when she drifted off to sleep ten minutes later.

Up next is Chapter 5: Meeting The Order