Chapter 18: A Crack in her Defences

For the next two weeks Hermione concentrated on keeping her head down and drawing as little attention as possible towards herself. Embarrassed by all that she had revealed at the Order meeting and with the way that she had conducted herself, she could barely meet the eyes of any other teacher's that were present. However, she also thought that she kept seeing large smiles break out across McGonagall's face when she continued handing back perfect homework assignments.

Both the girls and the boys calmed down with the special ways that they had tried to treat her when they saw that it was making her uncomfortable, and they were now all back to their old routines, albeit she did feel closer to them all. Unsurprisingly, she didn't change her habits regarding her nightmares, whether it was sound proofing the bed or talking about it. The girl's didn't comment on them again, but she always felt their lingering looks boring into her before bed and when they saw each other the next morning.

The only noticeable change was with her study periods with Snape and Regulus, which had pretty much grinded to a halt. Although she was angry at them for obviously spying on her, using her, and then ultimately telling on her, she couldn't help but miss the time they spent together. What also didn't help was the niggling suspicion at the back of Hermione's mind that she was developing the slightest crush on the elder of the pair.

This all came to a head one particularly chilly afternoon in mid November, when she encountered them in an empty corridor after leaving the library. By the looks on both of their faces, it appeared that they had been intending to trap her to talk to her, though Regulus didn't look particularly happy about it. With nothing other than a raised eyebrow, Snape nodded in greeting and gestured towards an empty classroom, wordlessly communicating what he wanted her to do.

Once the door had clicked shut, Hermione heard Snape silence the room and she turned around, "Come to gloat?" She began, throwing the phrase that he had used back into Severus's face, "Or did you get another assignment to spy on me?" The harsh tone with which she used left no room for disagreement, especially when paired with her raised brow.

Unfortunately, Severus did not seem fazed, "For your information Hermione, I only got asked to keep an eye on you after we had begun to talk to one another. Even if they think I'm only doing it to spy on you, that doesn't mean that I don't enjoy it."

Hermione scoffed and turned to Regulus, "And what about you then? I know that Severus has known of my blood status for a while now, but the second you're given a bone, you can't help but run along to tell the big boys?"

Offended at the way she had talked down to him, Regulus's glare turned deadly, "Don't pretend that you could have kept it a secret for much longer, I was really doing you a favour by telling them now rather than down the line. That would have been much worse."

"A favour?" She gasped out, incredulous to his thought process, "Do you not understand what you have done? Just so that you could show off to your 'friends', you have stabbed me in the back. Now I have a huge target on my head, and although you're too stupid to understand how hard it is to be a muggleborn at the moment, I still know that you did it to get back at me!"

Seemingly overcome by anger at all the accusations she had made, Regulus stumbled over his words, his hands clenched into fists by his side, "It's not my fault that you're not exactly hiding it," he began petulantly, "And why would I ever feel loyalty towards you over them, they've been with me forever, I've known you for what? 2 months, and you suddenly expect blind loyalty? You're decent to be around and your notes are good, but they're not that great!"

"They?" Hermione bit back, her voice rising, "Do you mean those snivelling cowards that accosted me in the hallway the other week? They are not your friends. Can't you see that you are nothing more than a tool to them, a method of which to secure their positions through your money and title?" She laughed darkly yet again, "No wonder you betrayed me, when you're so unused to the concept of proper friendship!"

In the blink of an eye, Regulus was towering over her, his pin straight, immaculately kept, black hair falling around her face, "You have no idea what you're talking about. I don't know what I expected, but you're right, I have been stupid. How could a filthy little Mudblood possibly understand the intricacies of my life?" He stepped back and took a hold of his fallen bag, getting ready to leave, "Do whatever you want Severus, just don't forget to wash your hands after handling her notes, you never know what you might catch!" And with that, he was gone.

To her surprise, when Hermione turned back to look at Severus she actually found him smirking, "You really didn't need to antagonise him like that, he had made his mind up about you even before he entered the room." He chuckled again and looked at his feet, "Thanks for pointing out some harsh truths though, the weird sense of hero worship he reserves for them was starting to get annoying."

She huffed out a breath, finally quieting her voice, "I didn't do it for him, and I certainly didn't do it for you. Anyway, you're just as bad, if not worse. You know they're all self-serving bastards and the implications of your actions, and yet you're still doing it anyway. Did you think that it's admirable to trail after them, because I can tell you now, you both look pathetic."

Effectively killing his teasing mood, Hermione's analysis of his character caused his brow to crease, "You're not a Slytherin Dumbledore, you don't know how the politics of our house pan out. What I'm doing is important, especially if I'm going to make friends with someone like you."

"Oh so we're friends again? I thought I was just your pet project?"

Snape rolled his eyes at her stubbornness, "I thought we had been over this. Yes, I was told to spy on you, and yes, I will continue to do so, but that doesn't mean we can't be friends."

She laughed again, "Sorry, but I think I might pass on the chance to be friends with someone who will intentionally spill my secrets. How much fun would it be to spend time with you when I always have to watch what I say?"

Severus's look turned patronising, "Well I'm obviously not going to tell them anything useful. Were you not paying attention when I explained the complex politics of my house?" Hermione blinked, "I'd be stupid to trust them more than you, and you are much better company than all of them, so at the moment I'll stick with you. That doesn't mean that I won't play both sides of the game though."

Unable to stop the polite tendencies that had been drilled into her since she was a child, Hermione choked out a quiet, "Thanks," before shaking her head, "No, I'm not going to thank you for doing something that is expected of you anyway." She stopped when she realised how much like her mother she sounded like, "Anyway that's beside the point, how do I know that you're not going to change your mind?"

Snape's face suddenly seemed to close off, "I think we both know that it would be more beneficial to be friends with you, so that I can get closer to someone else."

Now Hermione's jealous mind was stuck on a whole different issue, and she moved to stand closer to the other boy, raising her voice again, "Are you taking the piss? The whole reason you became friends with me was so that you could get close to and hear about Lily Evans?"

His eyes looked pained for a second, "Let's not pretend that you didn't already know this, it was pretty much the driving point for you reaching out to me in that hidden passageway." Shaking his head, he pinched his nose in between his eyes like he was nursing a headache, "Also, don't you now see the power you hold? I can't tell the other Slytherins anything without you say so, because I know the alternative would be you going to Lily and dragging my name in the mud."

Hermione paused for a second while she took this in, surprised that he would reveal this weakness so willingly. As she calmed, she came to the conclusion that he must have done it intentionally in order to make her see that he wasn't a threat. Was it possible that she could actually find a real friend in the boy? Although she had been suppressing it for months in favour of Harry and Ron, she couldn't help but enjoy the time they spent together. Often finding herself feeling much more comfortable and at ease in his presence than with others.

Preoccupied with coming to terms with her innate feeling of trust she found with the man, she almost missed the small voice when it added, "Furthermore, I know that you care too much about your NEWTs to turn down the chance of my Potions tutoring."

Laughing much more hospitably this time around, Hermione joked back, "Don't lie, we both know that you'd be getting much more out of the deal." They both smiled at each other and Hermione breathed out a sigh of relief, glad that they had made up again. It had been exhausting these past weeks without the quiet solidarity he offered in their evenings in the library and without his dry humour that she couldn't help but laugh at.

Severus still looked concerned, "So we're good then?" He breathed out in relief when she nodded quietly, moving past her to pick up her bag and pass it to her, ready to leave, "Thank Merlin, my hair was starting to get unmanageable again and I was hoping that you'd have another go at taming it!"

Hermione scoffed and grumbled, "Well lucky me, I still have a sarcastic friend to deal with in the end. At least you have some redeeming factors in the sense that you're a decent study partner." Just as Snape turned to open the door for her, she unthinkingly added, "You'd think that the fabled Half-Blood Prince would be able to do his own grooming charms, but it looks like that job will fall to me, yet again."

Before she could really think about the slight she had made against him, his whole body tensed and she absently noticed that his knuckles turned white where they were gripping the door handle. Confused as to what had caused such a complete change in demeanour, Hermione reached forward to tap on his shoulder. "Sev…" she began, before she was being pushed backwards and slammed into the nearest wall, his hand clutched around her throat.

"Where did you hear that name!" He snarled out, and Hermione knew that she had made a terrible mistake. His dark eyes were no longer teasing and she almost wished that she would see the mask he often put up instead of the unbridled fury that met her. Unable to speak for the shock of the moment, she just stared up at him as the hand holding onto her clenched tighter.

"The only person that knows that name is now dead and you weren't even in the country before she died so you have some explaining to do!" Before she could even begin to choke out an answer, it seemed that Snape wasn't feeling very patient today because she quickly began to feel wispy tendrils enter her mind. Her eyes widened in alarm at his use of legilimency and she attempted to raise what little walls she had tried to work on in the past.

Unsurprisingly, when Harry first told Hermione about the lessons that he would have to take with Professor Snape in 5th year, she began to research. That research led to Hermione nagging Harry at every chance she got, but also meant that she also began to experiment herself. Unfortunately for her, she never had the chance to try this out while someone who knew legilimency, and for it to be thrown at her out of the blue completely threw her off.

There were three main methods of occlumency, which were often used separately, but we're more effective to be used altogether. The first was to create and maintain a solid wall around all of her memories, in an attempt to not let anything out. Although this was the easiest technique to learn, it did mean that it was the easiest to break and therefore, the hardest to maintain under duress. If someone got through a crack in her defences, then they would be able to rip right through all of your thoughts, viewing anything at pleasure.

The second method entailed sorting through your memories as to present the harmless ones only, in order to throw the person viewing them off of the scent. The only issue with this method was that it's very hard not to think of the thing you are trying to hide while someone is searching for it through your memories. With this being the most duplicitous of the methods in order for the legilimens to not know that you are hiding anything at all, she had no doubt that Snape was very familiar with it.

Finally, the last method was to fashion a small prison within your mind and then shove the memories you want to keep secret in there. After that, all you would have to do is layer up all of your protection around it, proving to be much stronger than if you try to encase all of your memories like with the first technique. However, the issue with this is that it is very easy to find the box in a mind someone is invading, and therefore the legilimens will know that you are hiding something and will focus all of their attention on that specific place.

To combine the three techniques would give the occlumens the chance to demonstrate a range of red herrings and diversions that could make the legilimens think that they had found what they were looking for when really they had barely scraped the surface. Hermione had even read about accomplished occlumens' making multiple prisms and hiding the other ones further so that the invader will focus their attention on the first alone, and not bother with the rest.

All of this theory immediately left Hermione's brain as soon as she felt Severus's fingers begin to stab into her mind, shattering the feeble wall she had hastily erected. Given what they had been discussing and the position they were currently in, the thoughts at the top of Hermione's consciousness were all centred around Snape. She felt embarrassment creep up to her face while he watched the scene in the library from her perspective, no doubt releasing her attraction for him.

For some reason, this seemed to shock him and he bounced away, following one thought to another down the thin threads that connected them. As he progressed backwards in her timeline she panicked when he reached the first potion lesson, knowing what was coming next. Unsurprisingly, it was this panic which brought the memory to the forefront of her mind for his viewing pleasure.

First she was crouched in the passageway to the Shrieking Shack as she listened to Voldemort give the order to kill, and then she stood over his failing body as she watched him die. "Look at me." Was the last thing they both heard before the younger Snape wrenched himself from her memories, gasping for breath as if he had just emerged from a pool of water. His dark eyes were bright and filled with an emotion that Hermione couldn't quite identify.

"What. Was. That?"

Unable to conjure even a semblance of a reply, Hermione felt the first tear fall down her face, devastated that her secret was out. He repeated his question, and when she still didn't reply, he stepped forward to shake her shoulders. "Hermione. You need to tell me why you have a memory of me dying in your head."

She gulped as his gaze pierced her own, "The only explanation I can see is that you are a Seer as I am clearly much older than I am now, so you couldn't have just imagined all of that." He continued to ramble for a second while she let him consider all of the possible reasons for this revelation. While all this happened, Hermione couldn't help but watch the childlike innocence, fear and curiosity shine through and she made a decision. She would tell him the truth.

In the trapped position she was in against the wall, all Hermione had to do was shift slightly to capture his attention again, "No, I'm not a Seer, Severus." They both gulped, realising what was coming couldn't be good, "But there is a reason I have that memory in my head. I will tell you everything, but only if you promise to not tell anyone about what I'm about to show you."

For some reason, this made him look more suspicious, "What would be the point in that if I can clearly just look into your mind right now and find whatever you're hiding myself."

She raised her hand and placed it against his chest, causing Severus to gasp when he realised the close position they were still standing in. Their eyes clipped together, and Hermione was sure that he noticed his flicker to her lips for a second when she wet them with her tongue before continuing in a quiet voice. "Sev, I'm asking you because you are my friend and I would like us to trust each other. I also don't think you would do that to me, even if you claim to be a twisted Slytherin,"

The attempt at humour failed and Hermione breathed heavily outwards, "Do you understand?" she whispered and when he swallowed and nodded she breathed out a sigh of relief. "I'll need my wand to make the unspeakable oath, so could you please pass it to me?" She looked down, suddenly shy, aware that she had dropped it when he shoved her against the wall.

"An unspeakable oath?" Snape shakingly replied, "That's a bit much isn't it?" Though he did as she asked, giving her a wide berth while she collected her thoughts. Similar to an unbreakable vow, an unspeakable oath meant that a pair could ask something of each other. However death didn't follow and it didn't need a third party to cast; it just literally stopped each person from talking about the subject to another living soul, vocally or by any other method.

Her quelling look soon shut him up, "It's essential, sorry. Although this goes both ways so I will grant you the chance to ask something of me in return." His raised brows told her that he had not been expecting that so she quickly added, "Within reason though, I should be allowed to tell everyone how you once exploded a potion in third year that gave you cloven feet!"

His outrage at her suggestion was taken over by a smile that both terrified and oddly excited her as he marvelled at the opportunity. Suppressing the urge to blush and failing, Hermione turned towards him, holding out her arm. He took hers and they caught gazes again while she cast the spell.

"Will you, Severus Snape, promise to never reveal anything that you learn regarding my past unless I give you express permission to do so?" Hermione began, watching as his eyes widened at the loophole that she had written in. His eyes lowered to the thin trail of light that wrapped them together, and Hermione wondered if she would be granted the same option.

"And will you, Hermione Dumbledore, promise to never reveal anything you learn about any dark magic I may do with Lily Evans?" She raised her eyebrows at his oddly specific request, noticing the lack of a loophole, but nodded and they both vocally consented. Releasing each other's arms, they shook them as the residual magic throbbed through them, averting their eyes at last.

After a quick breath, Hermione asked the questions that had been bugging her, beginning her familiar ramblings, "If you are so concerned about what Lily thinks of you, wouldn't it be easier to just not do any dark magic? Even then, she already hates you, so what difference does it make? How dark are we talking if you want to keep it hidden?"

Severus just chuckled quietly to shut her up, "I believe that the purpose of that was to make you talk, not me." Indicating a nearby desk, he sauntered over and sunk into a chair, gesturing for her to do the same. She fidgeted in an effort to dispel her nerves and prolong the inevitable before she began to feel the snaky tendrils inch around the borders of her mind again.

At her squeak of surprise, he backed off, "I said I would tell you, can't you wait for a moment?" Hermione began, indignant at his impatience and creeped out by how violating the feeling actually was. He just stared blankly back at her until she began to talk.

"I'm not a Seer." She began and gulped, looking away when she realised that he would not, "The reason that I know about the name The Half-Blood Prince was because I discovered it in my sixth year. I know about your death because I was there." Raising her eyes towards his confused expression, she finished, "I am from the future."

To her great surprise, there was no gasp of horror or exclamations of shock while Snape just looked at her, face devoid of any emotion. This continued for a moment or two before Hermione began to feel uncomfortable under his gaze, "Sorry, I know that it's unexpected and surprising, and I probably should have told you in another way…. and now you have seen yourself die, and that can't be good for you… Oh my God this is so weird but I can explain everything, and I needed to tell someone…"

Snape stopped her rambling by simply leaning forward across the table, steepling his fingers together, "Hermione." He frowned, "Is that even your real name?" She nodded and he continued, "So what you're saying is that you are from the future?" Another nod, "And that you haven't told anyone else?" Another nod, "Then why the hell did you think that it was a good idea to tell me?" He finished, inquisitive eyes wide while he pointed out how bizarre the situation was.

Unable to properly answer that, Hermione huffed before replying in a quiet voice, "Well you're my friend and I trust you…"

Snape's dark laugh interrupted her, "Were you not paying attention to the fact that we haven't been talking for the last week because it was revealed that I am spying on you for the Death Eaters?" She gulped as she coloured slightly, "Furthermore, I have only known you for about 3 months, so how could you possibly gage that I'm trustworthy?"

Realising the comments he was giving her were true, Hermione lowered her head, "I can't really explain it, but I have this feeling that I can trust you, call it instinct or whatever, but I'm not going to ignore it."

Snape still didn't look convinced but nodded, blushing slightly at the revelation that someone trusted him, "You know, I still don't really believe you… If you've come from the future then for what purpose?"

Accepting the inevitable, Hermione sighed and moved closer again, "If you use legilimency and I think of certain memories specifically, will it be like watching through a pensieve? Because I could just show you and it'll be a lot less effort."

Snape nodded though he looked uncomfortable, "It will be sort of like that, but it's very difficult to control your thoughts and you haven't really had much training. I could stumble upon intimate secrets that you may not want me to see…" Hermione nodded, though she didn't meet his eye while he continued, "Actually, I was thinking that you really need to sort that out. Occlumency, I mean. If you do have all of this information floating around, then we need to make sure that it's more secure."

"That's what I was thinking," Hermione agreed, "Do you think you could help me at all?" At her response, Snape looked like he expected it, but it didn't make him entirely happy.

"Let me see some of your past first, and then I'll decide," He replied in a very Slytherin way that made Hermione roll her eyes. She breathed in and out a couple of times before looking him in the eye and agreeing to let him explore her memories. Without further ado, Snape whispered the spell and delved in.

At first, Hermione tried to think of memories relating to her childhood and her arrival at Hogwarts so that he would know that she wasn't just making it up. Almost like flicking through the pages of a book, the defining points of her life flickered across both of their eyes while he studied them. Receiving her letter, boarding the train and her first sorting ceremony all were swiftly looked into before they reached the troll in the bathroom.

Severus laughed under his breath at the absurdity of it all before this quickly ended when the elder Professor Snape walked into the room. Hermione silently watched while he lingered on his future appearance before he began on a different route, seemingly convinced that she was telling the truth. Before long, they were careening through her memories relating to him and she couldn't help but exhibit him with the disdain that she used to think of him with.

Unsurprisingly, Snape snapped himself back with surprise when they came to the memory of the patronus class in 3rd Year, the horror on his face spoke volumes about how he felt about seeing himself dressed in such a bizarre way. Hermione chuckled before getting back to the issue at hand, "Sev, do you mind if I show you about the war? You need to know the reason for why I am here." When he nodded and smoothly slid back into her memories, it was incredibly easy to come across the memories that had been haunting her.

Hours of sitting listening to that radio flickered across in the blink of an eye before she was watching herself duel on top of a thestral, and then shout a silencing curse at Dolohov in the Department of Mysteries. Soon the student body was collected around the base of the astronomy tower as they looked upon Dumbledore's crumpled form and cringed away from the dark mark in the sky. Predictably, this led to the string of memory that connected to the final battle and Hermione was soon forced to watch Fred Weasley die.

Realising that she was still looking dead into his eyes, Hermione began to sob while Snape continued his exploration, unaware of her anguish. The line of bodies in the Great Hall stood out and they both lingered there until they were thrown back to the night at Malfoy Manor with Bellatrix towering over her. In a fit of panic at the thought of reliving this memory in front of Snape, Hermione desperately sought another memory to replace it. Unbidden, the thought of another body hovering over her in the dark appeared, but this was in her childhood bed at home, and in much better circumstances.

Embarrassed and surprised, Severus retreated out of her mind and took in her reddened face, choosing to ignore that final memory, "How old are you?" He sputtered out, "Surely we can't be the same age for you to have experienced all of that!"

Hermione smiled weakly, "I'm 19, but because we had to go on the run last year, it meant that I had to miss my seventh year. So I thought that I may as well do it now."

Nodding as he took this in, Snape seemed to realise that he still hadn't discovered how or why she had been transported to 1977. Resolve filled his eyes again and he reached across the table to delve back into her mind, they both saw the first glimpse of the locket in her mind before she forcefully pushed herself away from him. "Stop! I don't think I can do anymore tonight, I don't know about you, but it's incredibly exhausting from my end."

A flicker of disappointment showed on his face for a second before the usual mask dropped into place as he agreed, "Fine, but you need to work on your occlumency and give me some details, so we'll come back to this. I've agreed to keep your secrets so I'm gonna be pissed if there is nothing of substance to actually hide."

Hermione chuckled, oh how wrong you are, "Let's meet tomorrow in here at 8pm and we can try again. I'll explain everything then," she exhaled in relief as she realised that she wouldn't be alone with her burden anymore, "but Sev, you have to promise that you will not reveal anything about me to Voldemort." She swallowed deeply and grabbed his arm, "I understand that you have this game to play with the other Slytherins, but I am going to take down Voldemort, and if I tell you this information, I hope that you will help me."

Maybe it was her tone, or maybe it was the desperation in her eyes, but Severus's wide eyes finally rose back to her own, "It's pretty damn obvious that if he is allowed to continue then someone I care about will be harmed, maybe more than one now. Nonetheless, a position by his side will mean that I have more power for change and so will be able to shield her. If you can take away that threat altogether, then I will do whatever I can to help you."

Hermione sighed in relief before he finished his statement, "That, however, does not mean that I will change how I act with my peers, and with my plans after graduation." His dark eyes glared deeply into her own, "For all intents and purposes, we will not be friends beyond study partners, I will pretend to see you as beneath me, and I will become a Death Eater, so don't go thinking that you can change that."

The finality in his tone brokered no chance of disagreement and so Hermione was left to nod and watch him swiftly leave the room, his dark robes swishing behind him.

Up next is Chapter 19: Revelations and Interruptions