Welp.
We made it.
Or, almost.
We made it through finals and that's close enough because from here on out it's nothing but fun times with good people. Correction, great people.
The best part about today? Every single class has been a free period, which means I've literally done nothing but sit and talk to my classmates. They must've figured with us only being at school for two hours Monday and Tuesday's only requirement is to show up for grad rehearsal that we'd want more time to spend together.
"Here you go." Jefferson set the thick year book on my lap while I handed his back. Laughter circulated the gym as our peers giggled with the light squeak of the Sharpie moving along the pages of their friends year book, writing memories of the past four years, and promises of hang out sessions in the future. Besides that the other hot topic of the hour was senior prom, a day I was never too thrilled about but the closer it gets to 8p.m my excitement grows.
"I think Ruby would have killed you if you didn't give this back today." I teased. My eyes caught the boys in their school clothes sweaty and out of breath from running back and forth on the court.
"She'll be fine. Nobody told that girl to move to Paris." he smiled, leaned over and nudged my shoulder with his.
"Speaking of, what's going on with you and San Diego? Are you excited?" I slid the yearbook off my lap and to the bleacher, making a noise that would've been noticed if not for the unusually excited chatter around us.
"Yea, sure." Jefferson said with false enthusiasm. He perched his elbows on top of his book and inched forward until both thumbs were resting under his chin and his fingers were curled around his mouth. "I'm not going."
My eyebrows raised and I felt my lips part as the shock settled on my face. I'm confused to say the least. All week I've been hearing San Diego, San Diego, San Diego, how he's going to the beach every day, maybe learn how to surf, hopefully from a cute beach boy. I can literally recite the entire thing from how much he's been babbling on about it.
"But-"
"I know." Jefferson said, tucking his fingers into the palm of his hand, rolling his cheek on the fist he made and stared at me.
"Does your mom know?" I bent down and placed my forearms on my legs to get level with him.
"Nope." he popped the 'p' and sighed. "So at my funeral instead of everyone wearing black I want you to come in the most outrageous, gaudy, eclectic outfit you can muster up. Also I want flamingos, giraffes, elephants. You know, the works."
We shared a chuckle and I shook my head, running my fingers through my hair and caught a tangle. I can't remember the countless times Regina pulled on my hair last night, thus leaving my scalp extremely sensitive. I winced at the pain and shut my eyes momentarily, but an inch of a smile pulled on my lips. Ever since the park earlier this week we've spent a lot of time together. I was claiming I needed help studying for finals, she so kindly reminded me that she was just a physics teacher but she could see what could be done. And I feel like you can fill in the blanks from there. I thought I would miss sex with Regina and while I do she's been so damn creative that I hardly think about it.
"So I'll call the San Diego Zoo and inform them of the plans." I replied, returning to my upright position. My hands hugged my elbows and I brought them close to my stomach like that would stop the arousing warmth building in my core.
"Oh Emma, you know me so well." he joked before worry underlined his bright eyes.
"I'm sure it won't be that bad." Unclasping a hand I reached out and placed it in the middle of his back, drawing small circles. Instantly he relaxed and I watched his shoulders drop.
"We'll find out tonight won't we?" The tone of his voice was dim and I could see on his face that he had already accepted what wrath may come his way. "I should've told her earlier but, I don't know she was just so exited and then when I got the acceptance letter-" he paused to cover the mopey expression carved above his eyebrows. "-Emma she cried, fucking cried."
"She'll understand."
"You're just saying that."
I smirked before nodding, "Yea, I am. She's going to loose her shit."
Jefferson rolled his eyes, shaking off my hand, and sat up to push me, "You're an ass."
"And now we have so much time for you to tell me how beautiful it is." I cheesed, swatting away his second push.
"Something tells me that you'll be otherwise...preoccupied." he wiggled his eyebrows and blew a kiss before standing up from his seat. "Bathroom, brb."
"Did you just use text abbreviation in a sentence?" I question as he took a step to the row of bleachers below.
"Sure did."
I had a fantastic comeback, one that would have really hit a nerve but my phone vibrated in my pocket cutting off my words. Wiggling my cell from the tightness of my jeans I double tapped the screen expecting to see a text from Ruby confirming our meet up time but it wasn't.
Regina (1)
So we have a small change in plans, I've been stuck with Roland duty tonight. Robin and Marian have to pick a flavor for their cake, Lexi is out of town, and Zelena is busy. I'm sorry, I was looking forward to seeing you this evening.
Well fuck. That sucks.
Any chance I can convince you to let me come over after?
Can't give up that easily. I put my phone on my leg but didn't have to chance to release when it buzzed against my fingertips.
State your case.
State my case? Does she actually want me to prove this? Has she become a little less paranoid now that we are so close to the end?
I'm horny.
As I pressed send I could picture the unimpressed look forming on her face with the slightly pretentious scoff rolling off her lips.
Yea? Tell me more...
A goofy grin pulled on my lips as thoughts filtered through my mind of all the things I wanted to tell her.
Tell you more about what? How hard I am? That I can still feel your teeth scraping along my throat? Or the way your legs clamped down around my ears? Where would you like me to start?
Instead of putting my phone down I held it in my hand, waiting for her response. My eyes scanned the gym for Jefferson. He should have been back by now. I stood up to get a better view with little time to look because when my cell vibrated my curious mind wandered away from him and to Regina.
So you can't stop thinking about last night either?
Nope.
It's been on replay all day. This enough to convince you? Or do you need more?
Because I have more, so much more.
Keep going, you're on the right track. What about last night has you so stuck?
What has me stuck is how vocal you were. You?
The look on your face when you brought me over the edge.
Unconsciously I pulled at the collar on my button up. It's starting to get a little warm in here.
Are you thinking about it now?
My fingers trembled over the screen as I waited for her answer.
Yes
And…
And, you've convinced me
And you're wet. I'm sure that works in my favor
"Emma!"
I jumped at the sound of my name being called, almost dropping my phone that had started vibrating at the same time. My head jerked up and my eyes scanned the gymnasium, catching Jefferson's hand waving in the air and when eyes locked he pointed the year book being handed to him. I nodded in response, he could've just texted me that, he didn't have to interrupt my conversation.
Careful, you might be on the sideline instead of participating tonight
My fantasies went wild with scenarios. Would she handcuff me? Tie me to the bed? Blindfold me? Would a coupon be used? An unmistakable twitch could be felt in my pants and I rolled my eyes. Well, bathroom, here I come. I gathered my things, Jefferson's, and both of the year books then headed down the bleachers. After dodging a few boys and wayward balls I made it to the other side and slumped the stuff off my shoulder then dropped my books.
"Bathroom." I said to him.
"You mean booty call?"
I gently kicked him, both us chuckling and walked out of the gym.
I'm not sure that's a threat. Headed to the bathroom near hall D
Like, kind of hoping she'll want to meet me. D hall is a ways away and because of that it's the least used, surely she would've picked up on that gossip in her almost year here. I looked down at my phone just in time for her incoming text.
I could have gone without knowing that
Why? Is it because you're not sure if you can wait until tonight?
That is exactly why. Bad things would happen if I were to run into you right now. Could you control yourself if you saw me?
I made a left, then a right, using my peripherals to guide me most of the way.
I think you mean good things in a bad situation. If we were in the bathroom, alone, I would not be able to control myself. Although thinking about you struggling not to touch yourself right now is also a visual...
How do you know i'm struggling
Alright Emma, show her what you've got.
Because I know you. I know that you're thinking about my tongue sliding up and down your clit while my hands venture across your skin. Your hands are trembling because you want to slip them under your skirt as you read this. You remember how it feels to have me dip inside your entrance and the look of pleasure on my face
Admittedly, I was nervous to press send, I don't necessarily sext often so I don't know if I sound too crude, or not enough, or just plain silly. Still, I trusted my instinct and sent it off.
You're right, I'm clenching my legs trying to relieve the pressure. I wish you under this desk, spreading my legs open, trailing your fingers up my thighs until you reach your destination.
Fuck. Little does she know, I am in fact reaching my destination.
Are you sure you can't meet me in the bathroom? I'm almost there
We can't. What I could do is tell you about all the exciting things waiting for you tonight.
This woman is driving me crazy. As I neared the upper west lot of the school I pictured Regina surprising me in the bathroom. Maybe she'd be sitting on the sink with her legs spread. Or maybe in a stall, peering through the crack as she waited for me to arrive.
"Ah, Miss Swan."
My eyes darted away from the screen and to the person who was calling out to me, cursing the universe under my breath when Cora's figure got close.
"You're looking well." the lines under her eyelids deepened when she forced a fake smile my way. I returned it, wondering if I should make small talk or act like I'm busy. Busy, definitely busy.
"Thanks. Well, good to see you."
I stepped around her but couldn't get past before she placed a hand on my shoulder, gripping my deltoid.
"Do you mind if I use your phone to call Francis? I've seemed to left my purse in his car. It will only take a minute."
"Um, you can't use the office phone?" because it's seriously 20 paces to the left.
"I tried but they were all busy. I just came to drop something off in Regina's mailbox before I left this evening. When I walked back out Francis wasn't here."
Maybe he got tired of you, I sure would have left her ass.
"It will only be a second." Does it get you away from me? Then yes bitch, use it for five seconds and be gone.
"Okay." I handed it to her and she seemed appreciative of the gesture, like she was actually having difficulties getting a hold of her ride. Quickly her fingers moved over the phone before she brought it to her ear. Cora held up a finger then pointed to a hallway, greeting Francis with the nicest tone I've ever heard. "Well I need you to turn around, my wallet and my phone are in there. What am I suppose to do without those?-" I nodded my head and she smiled, slipping into the hallway. I took a step near the door to make sure she wouldn't walk off with my phone. The window was large enough for me to see through and I was happy that she was facing the door.
It was a strange thing, seeing Cora with a smile. A real one. She's always putting up some facade when she is around me. I wonder what makes Francis so different, maybe it's his kind eyes?
"Are they paying you to hold up the door like that?"
I smirked at the sound of Jefferson's voice, turning my gaze away from Cora but still listened to her voice muffling through the door. He had my backpack thrown over his shoulder, his hanging on the junction of his bicep and forearm, and our year books cradled in the other arm.
"What are you doing here?"
"Why stalking you, of course. What are you doing here?"
I pointed to the door, glancing back at Cora who was STILL on the phone, "Regina's mom."
Jefferson walked up beside me and peered through the window.
"Hm, Ms. Mills definitely takes after her mom, fashion wise."
"Yup." I mumbled, looking back at him. "Are we ditching?"
His gelled hair didn't move as he turned to me, his sharp coyote like smile gleaming with mischief. "I don't know, are we?"
"Not with physics being my next class."
"Fine, fine." Jefferson teased. I noticed his gaze shift over my shoulder and nudged his head towards the door. I spun around and saw Cora walking towards me and I pulled on the door at the same time she pushed it on it, almost getting a nice hit to the face. How perfect would that be, couple days before graduation and I come to school with a huge bruise on my face.
"Thank you Emma." She handed me phone back with a smile and I shoved it in my pocket. So, we're done? "And I just wanted to say how sorry I am, for everything. I would love to get together soon. No tricks." I'm kind of surprised she's bringing this up around Jefferson, not like she knows him. He could be the gossip queen of the school for all Cora's aware.
"Cool. Maybe someday." Really didn't know what else to say. Judging by Regina's current view of her mother I would say it will be a long time before we all got together. I stood there waiting for her to say something else but we were quiet. And in light of this awkwardness I'm going to dismiss myself. "It was good to see you again." Not. Hooking my arm through Jefferson's full one I dragged us off, continuing my journey to the bathroom.
Though it all seemed pointless now.
Cock blocked by my girlfriend's mom. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Cora take off the way she came, thankfully to the front of school, with her head bowed, arms crossed, and walking in a pace that meant business. Honestly, I kind of felt bad for her. I understand she only wants the best for Regina and it saddens me to see their relationship in such a fragile state. First impressions last a life time but I hope that we can try this again. Zelena is awesome, Henry is cool as fuck, and Regina is, well, Regina. Cora can't be all bad, right?
"So where are we going?" Jefferson asked as we neared the bathroom. I pointed to the sign, grabbed my belongings from him, and walked inside with the vibration of my phone bringing me out of my thoughts.
Dad (1)
We got the email that your grades will post tomorrow. Depending on how that goes, we'll talk about Greece.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Am I reading this correctly?
They are actually considering it?!
Man oh man…
This day keeps getting better and better.
"EMMA!" Mom called from downstairs. I took one last look in the mirror and smiled, taking in my last moments of panic before a high school dance. Like usual mom did my hair, this time with less bobby pins. Very simple, curls with a shinny clip holding the fly away pieces in place above my left ear. Dad picked out the shoes, and Ruby's pendent hung loosely around my neck, completing the attire. Mom's wedding earrings shined in the dim light, from the lamp sitting in the corner.
One thing that's definitely different from the day I tried this on are the way my arms look. Like, I actually have muscles. Who knew? I dug my phone out of my clutch and opened my camera, holding it up so my full body could be seen. A few taps with my thumb, along with a smile, and I had my prom selfie. I was dying to send it to Regina, but when we talked after school her words were clear: I want to be surprised.
So surprised she'll be.
I took in a deep breath before opening the door and walked to the top of the steps. My fingers began to shake as I descended, focusing on Ruby's voice. Slow step by slow step, breath by breath, and when I finally came in view everyone stopped to look at me.
"Oh honey." Mom's shoulders dropped as a proud grin spread across her face. Unwinding the balled up tissue paper in her hands she brought it to her nose and sniffed lightly. Surprisingly she's managed to keep it together. For the most part. Dad and I chuckled at her emotional display, her baby girl growing up and heading to senior prom.
"Jesus Emma…"Ruby complimented, mouth hanging open as her eyes dragged over my body. "I know I've seen you in this before but...damn girl." I'm sure I looked just as shocked from her very tight, short, spaghetti strap dress. It left very little to the imagination.
"Back at you." I replied, sending her a half ass curtsy.
"Think you're forgetting something." Ruby replied, tapping her temple with her index finger. When I stood there, confused as fuck, she sighed and rolled her eyes like I had forgotten her birthday. "Your year book."
"Oh! Yea, that's not going to happen."
She smacked her lips and placed her hands on her hips as if to say, "seriously?".
"Monday that book is mine." Ruby demanded before turning back to my parents.
"Pictures!" Mom squealed when it seemed we were done with our mini tiff and with a few grumbles I stood in front of the door with Ruby by my side. We smiled for the camera doing a few serious ones and finished off with some wacky poses.
"Okay M&M let's not hold them up any longer." Dad said, taking the camera out of mom's hands before she really got carried away.
"I'm allowed to take as many pictures as I want. Now," mom walked up to me, buzzing like the proud mom she was. "Emma you will text us when you get to City Hall, then you will text us when you leave. I know it's prom but I'm still nervous about you being out and about. So please be at Regina's no later than 12:30a.m okay?"
I don't even think I'll last until eleven. It's only 7:30 and all I can do is think about Regina and all that she's got for us. Or, does Roland's big beady eyes distract her from coming up with a meticulous plan and she'll just wing it?
"Roger that." I said. "Can we go now?"
"One more thing, make sure you're home by 10a.m tomorrow." she finished.
"10a.m sharp." I opened my arms for us to share a hug. We embraced longer than necessary, but I didn't once complain because Senior Prom only comes around once in my life.
I said nothing as they peppered my forehead with kisses and mom cried over me while dad did his best to console her. I said nothing because this isn't about me, it's about them. When they let go, mom took another picture of Ruby and I before sending us off. I stepped outside and my eyes widened, matching the goofy smile on my face.
"Granny let you use the Cadillac?"
The car beeped when Ruby hit the unlock button on the fob and opened the passenger door for me.
"M' lady." she bowed, unable to keep character when I started chuckling.
"Thank you, kind sir." I replied through the light fits of laughter. Ruby held out her hand and helped me get in.
We decided against a limo since most of us were going our separate ways after the dance. Aliey and Killian are going on a date, Belle and Jefferson want to grab food, Ruby is hanging with the volleyball team after she drops me off at Regina's. So it just made sense to do it this way.
Ruby shut the door and sashayed around the front of the car, stopping to twirl around in a circle, and flashing me a pose. I cackled in my seat as she broke her stance to slump over and laugh, almost in tears by the time she got settled in her seat.
"I love your laugh." her comment took me by surprise and when I shifted my gaze to the left Ruby's blue eyes were ready to meet me.
"I love you."
She blushed at my comment, pushing the on button, because apparently cars don't need keys anymore, and took off. The conversation consisted of Greece, naturally, and whether or not Regina would be with me, senior trip, and Paris. We could never stay on subject, one thing would remind us of another thing and we'd rabbit trail off to something else, then somehow we would circle back to the beginning. It's going to be moments like this that I think I'll miss the most, her driving me around, us venting about anything and everything, not having to second guess what is coming out of my mouth. I'm getting that way with Regina but everything she says and does is intimidating, yes...still, but trust me if you ever come into contact with Regina Mills you would be doing the same thing. Traffic was smooth, up until we hit the city then it was bumper to bumper.
"No worries, we're only one exit away." she said to the beat of the song as if I was wearing the automatic dread that comes with brake lights like a coat. With expert movements she made her way over to the right and yea, it didn't take long for her to flip off the line of cars as we breezed by in the exit lane.
"Please don't do that when you go to Paris." I teased. Ruby slowed the vehicle down and reached a hand over, rolling the silk of my dress between the tips of her fingers. I overlapped hers with mine, at the same time I shifted my eyes off the personalized license plate 'DEEZNTS' to the smooth makeup covering her cheeks.
"Reason 69 why I always need you in my life." there is some sadness behind her words and it makes me realize how bittersweet this whole night is going to be. Senior Prom marks an important part of our little lives, it's a save point, like, we made it this far. This far and we're almost done. Being almost done with high school is a great feeling but now comes the change. And we all know how deal with change.
"Why does it have to be 69?" I smirked trying to bring the mood back at up.
"Oh Emma you dirty girl."
A grin spread across her face deepening the dimples underneath corner of her bottom lip.
"Tell me that's not what you meant?"
"I have no idea what you're talking about." she casually replied. We turned left, immediately spotting the line up limos outside of city hall. I pulled out my phone and sent a quick text to Regina and my parents telling them that we had made it. "By the way I heard that Janssen got grounded from going tonight."
"I don't know who that is." My eyes caught the girls gathering in their separate groups to take selfies, the guys throwing up hang loose signs with their glasses on, and don't judge me right now but I'm kind of excited.
"I don't really care who he is it's just a way for me to lead into the question that I wanted to ask."
I raised an eyebrow and placed my hand back in my lap.
"Right into the heavy, huh?"
"Well-" she shrugged her shoulders, putting her free hand on the steering wheel and following the signs for 'Red Rose High Prom Parking'. "I've kept my mouth shut about it for the longest and so I have to ask, are you two going to celebrate?"
"Who two celebrating what?"
"You and Ms. Mills. Will you be celebrating your freedom? You guys made it, unscathed."
An innocent shrug was sent Ruby's way but my thoughts were immediately directed to the sexting Regina and I participated in earlier today. God, that woman. The unspeakable things that I want to do with her when I am out of here…
"As Regina tells me, we're not out of the woods yet." I replied, shaking my head to rid my mind of the unadulterated images of her sweaty body, nipples begging to be pinched as her back arches off the bed. Fuck me. Can this dance be done already?
"Okay I get that but, you must be happy. Or at least relieved?" she pressed, sighing when the car in front of her slammed on it's brakes to park in the empty spot.
"Relieved for sure. Gossip spreads like the plague around here. I use to get a little annoyed with how cautious she was but now, now I understand."
"Well let's be honest, the closer it got to the end of the year the less 'cautious' she became."
A curious eyebrow raised and when we finally got from behind the truck that was taking for-fucking-ever to park I turned to look at her.
"What do you mean?" because I feel like the Regina I know was, for the most part, always staying cautious.
"The way she would look at you, or the amount of times you have been texting in the last month, or even the simple fact that she stops by our table to say 'hi'." Ruby did air quotes with one hand before whipping the car into it's spot.
"Okay, yea…I see your point."
"Regardless, I'm really happy things will work out between you two. You deserve it Emma." she replied, turning off the car then chancing a look at me. I smirked back and reached over to squeeze her toned thigh.
"Thanks babe. That means a lot. I know we're still really young but Regina is just...i don't know-" I slowly shook my head. "-I don't think I'll ever meet anyone like her."
Ruby's eyes twinkled as they roamed over me, the cool blue color that I had become so use to seeing pulled on the strings that were attached to my heart.
"I think what you mean to say is she'll never meet anyone like you." the corner of her mouth lifted before sending a wink my way. "You don't give yourself enough credit."
I rolled my eyes before opening the passenger door and climbing out of the car. My hands ran over my legs to smooth out the silk before taking my place by Ruby's side. Propping out my elbow I allowed Ruby to loop her arm through mine once she was out of the car and led her to the mass of students standing outside of city hall. You don't give yourself enough credit. Maybe I don't but I do think Regina is one of a kind and would I ever meet someone who makes me feel the way she does, who makes me believe in myself, who turns me on, who loves me as much as she does?
"Oh there they are." Ruby said, dragging me off to the right so fast that I almost had to full on jog to keep up with her. Our friends were in matching colors waving frantically at us and not stopping even when we got close. Jefferson and Killian were in suits, no surprise there, but was a surprise was the color that didn't look like throw up. To be honest we were all really nervous about the color we had chosen because, ya know, green can be a difficult shade to match. But as I gaze over all my friends, coordinated outfits with smiles I know now there was never anything to worry about it.
"Jesus Emma, you look...just...damn." Belle commented unable to take her eyes off the top my shoulders.
"Girl, and those fucking guns. Do you even have a license to use those?"
I snorted and shook my head at Rachel's dumb comment, "Shut up." I mumbled, feeling my cheeks heat up under the ogling I was receiving. "You all look really nice."
"Only nice?" Jefferson and Aliey said at the same time, causing the rest of us to chuckle.
"Beautiful?" I questioned.
"Eh, I guess that's better." Aliey joked in return, leaning against Killian's side once he draped his arm across her shoulders.
We giggled before throwing around more comments then walked to the entrance. Jefferson fell in step with me and as we always did, held the caboose spot. Lazily his fingers threaded through mine before clasping down on my hand. I didn't need to look over to see the smile he was wearing, so instead I placed my head on his shoulder as we walked to the line.
"So, I told my mom." he mumbled as he rested his cheek on my hair.
"And the verdict is?"
"She's pissed."
I nodded then slid my arm around his waist, pulling him closer to me. We giggled lowly in the back, acting as if we didn't see the curious glances our friends were giving us.
"Enjoy your last night of freedom." I teased. We stood in line and this gave me a chance to take in everyone in their '#2019promwear'. I have to admit, the Class of 2019 cleans up nice. I don't think I've ever seen so much hairspray and jewelry on us at one time.
"With the best people ever. Does this mean you'll be there on my release date."
Laughter bubbled up my chest from Jefferson's sense of humor and as the line moved, we moved.
"Who knows, by the time that happens I'll probably have my own place-"
"Even better." he said, cutting me off. "Gives me a bed to crash on."
Slowly I shook my head and pulled away to look at him. I was waiting for the knowing smirk to cross his face, but serious blue eyes didn't waver when I locked on.
"That's not a bad idea." Jefferson whispered.
"What?" my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
"Moving in together, we should do it."
Where is the punch line, because this is a joke right?
"Care to share your conversation with the rest of us?" Belle's voice chimed in, immediately drawing our gazes to her.
"No." he replied quickly and if I wasn't confused before…
I don't get why he hasn't said anything about the college deal to them. The subject was changed, visibly unnoticed by the group, but it didn't stop me from keeping an eye on Jefferson. Which only lasted until we got to the entrance, then I was distracted by the heavy bass of the music combined with the manic screams of teenagers.
"Alright everyone," Ruby stated, gathering us off to the side before we walked in. "This is it, the last dance of our fucking lives. Let's make it a memorable one shall we?"
We all nodded in agreement while watching her fish out her phone. Her fingers began to glide across the screen as she drew her pattern to unlock it then opened the camera. Ruby raised her hand with the camera facing us and we gathered around.
"Everyone say wasabi."
"WASABI!" we shouted through our carefree giggles then power walked inside to get the best night our young lives started.
Anticipation tickled my fingers as they curled in my palm and I knocked on the door. God, I am ready to get my hands on her hypnotizing hips, taste her, fill her up. I've never been one of those people who planned to have sex on their prom night, however based on the events of this year nothing is going how I thought it would. The usual light patter of her feet were covered by slow, methodical, sharp steps. The dead bolt unlocked, the knob turned, and the hair on my arms rose from the nervous tingle preying on my nerves.
When Regina slid in my view her glossed over eyes darted to my breasts. Her right hand clung to the door while the left gripped a cup with a piece of ice the size and shape of a golf ball. "You look beautiful."
I blushed under her heavy lidded gaze then squeezed by her. I kicked off the heels, dropped my clutch, and sighed, wiggling my toes to increase circulation. How does she wear these every single day? The loud sound of the door shutting behind me made jump and when I spun around Regina was gliding to the kitchen. It was only then that I noticed how dim her place was, the only light on was the lamp upstairs.
Setting the mood, maybe?
In hopes of continuing where we left off earlier today I moved the bar stools to the side and got comfortable in the gap, resting my forearms on the cool marble, watching her pour a shot of a brand that I don't recognize and I'm sure one that I'll never be able to afford.
"How was your time with Roland?" Brown eyes snapped up, not missing a chance for the great cleavage shot I was giving. Full lips pursed an inch or two, a well sculpted eyebrow rose slightly, before a short breath escaped through her nose. I can honestly say I have no idea what the means. Maybe Roland wasn't the best start to this.
"It was good."
My mouth opened to try and rectify this awkward start but she stepped back to open a drawer, and tossed a manila folder at me.
"What's this?" Was this her cute way of saying yes to Greece? Did she print sites and attractions we could see while we're there? Her level of adorableness is unmatched. I opened it eagerly but my excitement was quickly replaced by confusion. In bold print there's a date, a time, two different phone numbers, and a message underneath. My eyes skimmed over the rest of the page to find much of the same.
11/12/2018
5:05p.m
Emma, here is that list I promised you. Do you want to come by for lunch or stay after school?
5:12p.m
It doesn't matter. What works best for you? Ladies choice.
5:16p.m
Let's do after school that way we don't have any time constraints. How does that sound?
What the fuck?
6:52p.m
How do I know this is true? It was taking you forever to get back to me. How do I know you really want to talk ;)
11/13/2018
10:35a.m
Just a heads up you are 100% getting messy at the rally today.
10:36a.m
Looking forward to it ;) you better be there to clean me off.
And as I read through the page a sickening knot stretched out its hands to my heart.
11/17/2018
5:33p.m
No, your timing is just incredible. If you don't believe me I can send you a pic
5:35p.m
Somehow I don't think a 'pic' will do you justice. I have to go grade papers but meet me in my class tomorrow. I should be free :)
Against my wishes the page flipped, showcasing more...
12/14/2018
3:30p.m
Really? Well in that case I need you to make a phone call asking for another one. For me to be in that dressing room with you...naked.
3:32p.m
Sorry, don't think I can for another 17 years. Guess you'll just have to walk in here yourself.
3:33p.m
You know I would.
3:35p.m
And once you're in here what would we do :)
12/25/2018
8:04a.m
Merry Christmas Regina. Can't wait to show you how much I've missed you
8:10a.m
Merry Christmas Emma. Can't wait to see how much you've missed me
8:12a.m
I'll give you a hint, it involves mistletoe and-
I couldn't finish.
"Please tell me you were just feeling nostalgic." I added.
Her fingers gripped around the rim of the glass and she casually jostled the liquid before another breath of air pushed through her nose. Brown eyes stared at the papers, her nose wrinkled, and her upper lip raised forming a look of disgust from the closet opening and our skeletons tip toeing out.
"Who-"
2/12/2019
6:02a.m
And we're off.
6:05a.m
K. Have fun.
A light scoff filled with frustration grabbed my attention causing me to jerk my head up. She raised the glass to her lips but didn't take a sip, instead stared at me over the rim, "I'll give you a guess." and finished her sentence off by taking a large gulp. She set the glass on the counter with more force than one would expect her to use.
"Warren?"
Regina shook her head and grabbed the neck of the liquor bottle, again, pouring herself a drink. Well if it's not Warren the only other obvious choice would be, "Cora?" I questioned with only half surprise. She seemed so nice this afternoon.
"Yea." she replied, chuckling darkly. The tips of her fingers began to pale in color as the clenched around the glass.
"But-but-...how? It's not like you can go to your cellphone provider and say 'I want a print out of a text thread from a phone that's not mine.'"
"I don't know Emma." her clipped tone sparked my natural defense to lash back out but something tells me that won't do us any good. "She came to the apartment around 6. Since I was watching Roland I didn't want her to step inside in case we got into an argument. She said, I really need to speak with you, I told her I didn't want to. I went to close the door but she pushed back, then handed me this-" Regina pointed to the open folder. "-and said I had a decision to make and if I didn't make the right one she'd turn the contents of the folder to the authorities. Then, she left."
Raven colored hair moved as Regina tossed her head back downing the shot. The indifferent tone she used to recount the events gave me goosebumps. I shook my head in disbelief trying to process all of this information. "She's bluffing. Her threats are empty. Cora wouldn't put her own daughter in jail."
"Prison." Regina corrected.
"Whatever, it's not going to happen."
"Emma..." an exasperated sigh fell from her plump red lips.
"No. Don't Emma me, there has to be another way than you going to..." Nope, not ready to say it. Or rather, I can't. The word was getting caught in my throat and left a sour taste that made my stomach turn.
"There is."
Even with the two shots I just saw her take her movements were still graceful. She turned so I got her profile and rested her low back on the counter, crossing her arms over her chest and stared blankly at the wall.
"So, what is it?" I urged, straightening my shoulders, and taking a few steps back when the realization of where this was headed dawned on me. A tumble of nerves, fear, and anxiety rolled along my intestines and as it rose I felt the bile come along with it. "No, Regina no. No, we-no-."
No. Fuck no.
"I'm basically graduated, it shouldn't-it shouldn't."
"The California law doesn't care that you're basically graduated, not like it matters. You're still 17." Two minutes ago she was showing me little things that hinted to how she feels. Now? it's like I'm talking to a brick wall. There's nothing on her face, nothing in her body language, nothing in her voice. It was just…
Empty.
"We don't even know that she's going to do it. Let's just lay low, it'll be easy since I don't see you Monday through Wednesday-" I'm panicking. This can't be happening.
"No, I'm not risking it-" Regina quietly said, brushing the idea off.
"We'll be fine-"
"No we won't."
"Then we'll go behind her back."
"No-"
"Or we'll run away-"
"And add kidnapping to the list?"
"Or we-"
"Emma just stop!" Regina shouted, turning her rosy cheeks to a crimson red and a vein that ran along the side of her neck bulged. "Please don't make this harder than it already is. After today my lawyer has advised me not to-"
"Wait, Regina a lawyer?" I firmly pressed my palms against my temples trying to make sense of this. A lawyer? She's jumping the gun, why in the fuck does she need a lawyer already.
"I need to know what I could be up against."
I threw my hands in the air with disbelief controlling my actions, my words, and my feelings. Numbing the pain, telling me this isn't real, telling me that she's joking, telling me that what she's saying isn't what she's saying.
"How did she even get these?"
"I said I don't know, Emma."
"Don't get upset with me." I snapped in return. "I'm just trying to-trying to make sense of it all."
Silence tangoed around us in an overzealous passion, pointing the finger at our misery.
"Why have you given up already?" I whispered in attempt to hide the crack in my words as my throat dried out.
Finally Regina jerked her head to me, pushed herself off the counter, and snatched the folder. She rustled through the pages with aggression, her eyebrows furrowed while her pupils rapidly scanned the print.
"In the case of the defendant Ms. Regina Mills." she started, glancing up at me for a second. "It is in my professional opinion that the defendant would be charged with statutory rape and as felony due to the 11 year age gap. Her penalties would most likely include 5 years in the California state prison, 2 years in a county jail, and 4 years in custody where the alleged victim would not be allowed to contact the defendant, even after the minor is of age. In this time the defendant would likely also start their year of informal probation, all teaching licenses will be revoked, the defendant could be registered as a sex offender for up to 9 years, and $10,000 in fines." As she cast the paper aside my heart grew weary. "This is not a game Emma this is my fucking life!" she shouted, placing both hands on the counter and bowed her head.
Panic. Fear. Hate. Denial. Betrayal.
All of these things sinking it's sharp, cold, teeth into my beating heart. My vision began to fade and I closed my eyes wishing this nightmare would be over. This wasn't suppose to happen, not like this. Regina and I always knew something could happen, it was constantly there. Hidden the bushes, it was covered aromatic flowers, bees, and fresh air waiting for the right time, when we least expected. When we thought we had made it.
Was I really selfish enough to persuade Regina to take this chance on me? To take the chance that her mom is bluffing? The woman has gone through such lengths to keep us apart that I shouldn't put it past her.
"Alleged victim." I whispered. The tiny voice mocked my aspirations, my fantasies of the future Regina and I could have. It was stupid to think were invisible. We should have waited, we should have tried harder, we should have resisted. "I'm not a victim." I opened my eyes and began to roll my fingers along the silk of my dress.
"I know you are not. It's just because of your age."
Five years in a California state prison.
"Maybe when you're 18," she offered with false hope. What is the use? It's like trying to put a band aid over a gun shot wound. "Emma please look at me." Regina's words rolled out in such a way that made my eyes burn with oncoming tears as her voice echoed in my mind. My heart pounded with thunderous claps that seemed to reverberate off the walls, deafening the sounds of anything else until it hollowed out, and everything became quiet.
How could there be so much pain in a moment that didn't feel real?
Two years in a county jail.
Soon, the tip of Regina's heels entered my vision and my shoulders stiffened. My throat began to constrict at the sight and a heavy weight fell on my chest making it hard to breathe. Tears brimmed my eyes covering up her smooth skin, I bit my bottom lip to control the useless sobs threatening to break free, and when the cold, icy, teeth of this Shakesperian fuck show grazed my heart I snapped my eyes closed, spilling the tears over and inhaled a sharp breath through my nose.
Four years in custody where the alleged victim would not be allowed to contact the defendant.
"Oh Emma..." compassion touched her voice for a second before she pulled me in her arms. My fingers curled around the collar of her jacket and I turned my head letting the tears run free. She rocked me back and forth, holding me tight. Her scent had been coated by thick alcoholic aroma but this didn't deter me, instead I nuzzled my face in the crook of her neck. "I'm sorry." Regina pulled back enough to kiss the top my head, and took in deep breath. "I don't want you to think I'm choosing her over you."
I somehow managed to regain some control over my voice and when the tears began to dry on her clothes I finally spoke. "I don't. You're choosing what you feel is best."
One year of informal probation.
"We-we can't talk even a little?" I stuttered out, biting by my bottom lip when Regina shook her head against mine.
"It wouldn't be safe. I don't know if she's told anyone and after everything I wouldn't put it past her to hire someone to spy on me. I'll call her after we're finished and inform her of my decision. After that..." The nerves spiked all over again throwing my body in an emotional, fucked up roller coaster.
"Don't go." I pleaded.
All teaching licenses will be revoked
Her hand cupped the back of my neck as the other drew soothing circles in between my shoulder blades. Another kiss to my forehead and I knew that was my answer.
"I have to." she quietly said.
Helpless and defeated I heavily exhaled, feeling the goosebumps rise on her skin, and as odd as it is to say this it was strangely comforting. Just because Cora backed her into a corner doesn't erase her feelings for me.
"I can't risk you coming over, calling me, or texting me. California is very serious about their laws, all they need is evidence that you and I have had sex and it's over. I've also been advised to stay away from mother, which even if I wasn't I still would." A venomous huff escaped her lips, "And what's worse is that I can't blame her. This is my fault."
Chills ran down my spine and as if she sensed my discomfort she combed through my curls with her fingers, "I'm not angry with you. I'm angry that this turned out the way it did. I should've been more careful, I shouldn't have let my feelings control this. I shouldn't have pursued you." My eyebrows furrowed and I dipped from under her chin to gaze up at those glistening eyes. I tracked between her constricted pupils and large brown iris's, watching the frown break her mask. "Are you a victim?" Regina questioned in a low voice, titling her head to the side, and scanned over me like she was seeing me through a new pair of eyes, seeing me as a child.
"I'm not." I said wiggling my arms free to cup her cheeks. She tried to pull out my grasp but I dug my fingers in the soft flesh bringing her back. "I'm not a victim. I wanted this too."
She took in a shallow breath and her eyelids sharpened as she looked at me with obvious guilt and doubt.
"Regina," I tugged her towards to me and pressed our foreheads together. Her hand slid out of my hair, down my back, and to my waist with the other quickly following. The tingles that usually exploded through my body whenever she touched me were now soft, warm, steady vibrations. It clung to my skin, snaked through my veins and coated my heart as if to shield me from this pain. "This was consensual. You didn't force me to do anything."
We stayed quiet for a few minutes, the tension between us dwindling to a constant stream because either way we don't win. If we stay together it's more than likely Regina's career, her life, everything she worked for would be ruined and if we break up she keeps all that but looses…
Us.
Whether or not Regina wants to continue teaching I'm sure she'd rather have a say instead of it being stripped from her.
"I still don't understand how she got those. The only person I leave my phone with is Francis." she mumbled.
Do you mind if I use your phone to call Francis? I've seemed to left my purse in his car. It will only take a minute
My eyes widened.
Oh. God.
Oh. My. God.
Swiftly I removed my hands, pulled out of her grasp, fled to the counter and grabbed the folder, flipping through the pages until I came to the last one. My fingers hit the paper and I skimmed down finding today's date.
"Are you okay?" almost teasing me as if she was finding spots of her old self again. I felt her presence draw near before a lone finger traced my back, then left when she walked around me, and to the kitchen getting comfortable in her corner again.
6/2/2019
1:35p.m
We can't. What I could do is tell you about all the exciting things waiting for you tonight.
1:42p.m
Emma? I didn't scare you off did I?
When did Regina send me that last text? I didn't get a new text notification when Cora handed me my phone…
back-oh my god I'm a fucking idiot.
The words on the paper began to spin and my body started to shake as the pressure of nausea increased. A painful tickle spiraled down my legs as a dumping sensation fell through my arms, ending in the palms of my hand. I was just trying to be nice, I was just...I was just…
I couldn't catch my breath and the airways to my lungs seemed to shrink in size, I pulled at my dress feeling suffocated by the silk.
"Emma please relax. We'll be fine." How could this happen? I was watching her the whole fucking time! The entire time. Right? And here is Regina, thinking I was still upset about us taking a break. She doesn't know it's my fault this is happening to her. And now, I have to be that asshole to tell her.
I took in a deep breath before opening my eyes, finding her in the same position. The sentence was right on the tip of my tongue but vocalizing that I'm the reason her life was turned upside down so quickly is proving to be challenging.
"It-it was me."
It was hard to gauge Regina's reaction. Surprise surprise.
"Unless you turned those over to her yourself this is in no way your fault."
I gulped down the hot welt building in my throat and when I didn't answer her she slowly turned her head to face me. Confusion flickered in and out over and over in her eyes as her shoulders went rigid, her lips pulled in a tight thin line and she took her position on the opposite side of the counter, orbs intensely burning in mine. The atmosphere shifted, the silence was deafening, heavy, and just the sound of my throat clearing, a simple movement, something that generally goes by unnoticed seemed to light a flame to the electric tension.
"I-I..." I started, not sure what the fuck to say. What do you say when you have single handily ruined your girlfriend's life. "She ran into me at school today, asked to use my phone to call Francis." my fingers drummed against my thighs as I stared at her stoic expression. Regina leaned back and reached for her glass. It clanked against the marble as her hand trembled, the fiery anger rolled off her skin, and before I could process what was happening her glass was hurled against the wall, shattering upon impact. I ducked my head and clasped my hands over my ears eyeing her heaving shoulders.
"Get out." she seethed.
"What?" I questioned timidly.
She shot her livid gaze over her shoulder and to me, "Get. Out." What? No, no this isn't happening.
"But Regina it was-"
"GET OUT!" she shouted so loud the pictures trembled against the wall. She spun to square up with me and even though she was standing on the other side of the counter it didn't seem like enough protection from her wrath. A long, long time ago Regina said she would never hit me, tonight it seems like a very real possibility. "You need to leave before I say or do anything I regret." she was muddled with emotions-none of them good and all of it directed at me.
"Please, just let me explain." I pressed.
"Explain what? That you gave my mother your phone on the one fucking day that we were..."
Sexting.
"It's not my finest moment." I agreed, cringing at the scoff she pushed out through stiff and pursed lips. The silence was strangling, making every heartbreaking second of this night go by even slower.
"You know, maybe she was right. Maybe I did make a mistake." Her tone was wrapped in disappointment. "You do things without thinking, all the time Emma. But what should I expect? You're just a child."
Each word was a wounding punch to the gut and I felt my stomach twist. Her expression was smudged with shame, regret, hurt. She rubbed over her eyebrows before sighing deeply, turned away, then walked up her spiral staircase.
"You can let yourself out." Regina said making no attempt to hide the hurt in her voice and when she disappeared from my view a few seconds passed before I heard the slam of her bathroom door. I ran my fingers through my hair, stopping halfway to pull at my roots, groaning lowly. The sting of tears began to brew again and I tried to shake them off, I tried to shimmy out of the slimy grasp of life's consequences, I tried to keep it together.
I tried.
But the salty thin drops of liquid ran down my cheeks. Can I get a redo? Let me go back to this morning and try it again. I want to get out of this night terror. My thoughts were scolding me, my dreams of the future mocked me, and that tiny voice in my head never letting me forget that this was my fault. That I had no one to blame but myself. It was the only thing I could hear, round and round again and again: scolding, mocking, truth.
After a few minutes of my own pity fest I moved some hairs that had gotten stuck to my face and with heavy heart I slumped my way to my shoes and clutch. I slipped them on feeling the guilt lick at my wounds before slithering in, like a parasite feeding off my anxiety and consuming me, stripping me. Guilt. It takes my courage and dances between my fingers before falling to the ground like sand, fills me up with loss and desperation. Guilt. It is every fucking crow that ever circled wishing for every God damn living thing to die, it is sorrow incarnate and left unchecked it will run amok in the streets, snarling but never feeding.
Hesitation gripped me while I stared at the door knob, memorizing the Phillips screws holding it in place, the metal so clean it reflected my pitiful appearance. I want to be the person who believes that when I walk out this door Regina and I will be okay and this will soon be a distant memory. But, as I look at the detailed finish on her wood door, the colorful warm furniture where we experienced so many moments, the kitchen that had been graced with her fantastic cooking skills, I know my mind is preparing me for the long inevitable haul.
I counted to three and reached out, opened the door, and with one last look over my shoulder stepped out, quietly shutting it behind me. A high pitched tone rang behind my eardrum dimming the sound of my footsteps, seemingly flipping the switch and throwing my body in autopilot.
What the fuck just happened?
24 hours ago we were…
And now we are…
And it's just…
The doors to the elevator slid open. I stepped inside but felt incomplete, a part of me...one super fucking big part has not crossed the threshold. A part of me is struggling to accept this as reality, I can't. My eyelids snapped shut forcing more tears to seep through the cracks and roll against my skin. A light jostle signaled the downward movement and it was in the solitude of these walls that a sob broke from my chest. Through the pools of water I managed to get out my phone and scroll to the one person who wouldn't ask questions. Who wouldn't pester me or try and get me to talk about what happened.
It only rang once.
"Emma? Is everything okay?"
I sniffled, giving her the answer she needed.
"Are you at Regina's?"
"Yes."
"Don't move. I'm on my way."
Dial tone.
My legs walked me out of the Regina's complex and to the front gate. When I got to the sidewalk I looked back at the lofts, the frown chiseling in my face.
"Stupid Emma." I kicked a lone rock, "You're so stupid Emma." I repeated, my tone unforgiving. "So fucking stupid." My heart thumped against my rib cage again, cold trickles of sweat formed at my hairline before I slumped to the ground. I ignored the pain of the tiny shards of gravel pressing through my dress and into my skin. That shit was minor in comparison to...whatever this feelings is.
Bright headlights caught my attention as a car pulled up. The driver side door swung open and the clicking of heels against the ground neared me. Red loose curls fell over my shoulders when Zelena wrapped her arms around me and helped me stand up. Her eyebrows were stitched together as she muttered incoherent words under her breath, slowly dropping me to the seat and placed the seat belt across my chest. The door closed, rocking the car slightly, and when Zelena got in she didn't even ask where I wanted to go.
She just drove.
I rested the side of my head on the window watching the street lights fly by us. The radio played in the background and it was all I could do to not melt down in front of my...ex's sister.
I hear the birds
When they're singing
I hear the sirens
When they're ringing
But I can't take my mind off of you
A couple months ago when Regina and I had our big fight I thought I felt heartache. That was nothing, fucking nothing compared to what I'm feeling now.
A thousand words pour out of my mouth
Distance over depth is proven unannounced
Is it real? Cause I don't feel alright
Heartache isn't the just the breath between my sobs…
I got this notion
In the deepest ocean
Calling out my name
Screaming out in vain
Singing hallelujah
It is the home that no one ever took the time to finish building…
Tell your mother she don't understand
Tell your mother she's not listening
Why don't you tie my heart with chains made of string
It is the tension that hangs in the air after 'i love you too' and before 'but I just can't keep doing this'…
I rolled the dice
You sealed the deal
That don't matter
The pain is real
I won't follow you
Into the dark
It is the personified version of events that people spend lifetimes burying under the hearts of others who were foolish enough to believe it all…
This is heartache.
A/N: Notion by Tash Sultana
Not sure how many are keeping track of the amount of chapters we 'supposedly' had left but if you are then throw that number out the window. I struggle leaving things so open ended so on we march. Hope everyone had a Happy Holiday!