Their Hero Academia – Chapter 42: If I Hold It In, I'll Explode
"Kirishima-Bakugo!" the voice had split the air of the U.A. hallway, a voice like nails on a chalk board that made Katsumi's teeth clench. All she'd wanted to do was go to lunch and now she had to deal with this.
Shiro Monoma. The bane of her existence. The wiry little blond shit of Class 1-B. That little annoying voice that tried to point out her every mistake and flaw. He'd lived across the street from her as long as she could remember and, of course, there'd been no escaping him by going to U.A. At least once she made it through today, she wouldn't have to see him at all for the whole week of her Internship.
She'd turned around, fixing him with her best glare. Maybe she just had to slow him down long enough for him to say something stupid. Then Kana would just smack him upside the head and he'd be out for a while. Most of what he said tended to be insulted directed at her class so it wouldn't take long.
"You want something, Monoma?" she'd growled.
Usually, that was enough to make him wilt, at least a little. But this time, it hadn't. He'd only taken a half step back. "I was wondering if I might request the pleasure of your company for a brief discussion of important matters?" He'd made a dramatic flourish in the air with his hand, taking a small boy.
"Well," she'd said, "that was clear as mud."
Monoma had put a hand to his chest. "We can't all be as plainspoken as you." After that, he'd looked genuinely regretful, surprising her. "…My apologies, that was ruder than I intended. Please. Ten minutes of your time. That's all I ask."
There'd been something strange about him. That'd been about as close to pleading as she'd ever seen Monoma.
Katsumi had looked over to Izzy, who'd been standing next to her. "What do you think, Izz? Should I listen to him?" A second opinion never hurt and, honestly, she trusted Izzy's judgement better than her own, at least for certain things.
Izzy had tilted her head slightly, considering it. "I think it would do you no harm to listen. Provided you do no harm to him in turn."
Katsumi hadn't been sure if that was a joke or not. "Tell you what, I'll try not to hit him." She hadn't specified how hard she'd try. She'd looked over to Monoma. "You've got five minutes."
"Okay," Aunt Ochaco began, "what's the first thing you do in a rescue situation?"
Katsumi had definitely not been expecting to be called into action on the first day of her Internship. But when a giant Villain wrecks half of downtown Kijimi, it doesn't leave much time for paperwork and pleasantries. As the nearest Rescue Hero, Uravity and her Sidekicks had been called to the scene. Other Heroes were currently dealing with the Villain, which left them batting clean-up. Not exactly the kind of thing people got a lot of glory for, but an important and necessary job.
And oddly enough, one Katsumi didn't mind doing. Her Quirk was a destructive one and she was extremely skilled at fighting. Hell, she enjoyed fighting. Maybe more than she should have. But it wasn't the be all and end all of her existence.
If she was being more reflective, she'd have guessed that all the protective instincts she'd concentrated around Izzy were trying to find a new outlet. But introspection had never been her strongest trait and so she pushed the thoughts down where she wouldn't have to deal with them.
"Find out who's in charge, get direction on where you're needed," she said.
"Right," Aunt Ochaco said, her face partially obscured by the pinkish glass of her helmet. "Which in this case, I've already done. We've got several damaged buildings that we're checking for survivors. Most of them were evacuated in time, but there's still people unaccounted for." She pointed to the nearest one, which had taken significant damage when the giant Villain had lashed out.
Already, her Sidekicks were assisting with the firemen and other rescue workers. As the premier Rescue Hero in Japan, Aunt Ochaco had a lot of them, all of them with Quirks useful for such work, including several water manipulators, telekinetics, and geokinetics.
"After that?"
Katsumi went on, "Make sure you have the right supplies, find a secure entry point, and look for survivors."
Aunt Ochaco gave her a thumb's up. "Sounds like Kota's done a good job teaching you," she said. She turned to look at the building and Katsumi could see words flashing over her visor. She knew Aunt Ochaco's helmet had special scanners in that that relayed information such a structural integrity to her. Maybe she ought to get one of those. It'd probably be useful for determining where to set off explosives.
Already, she was sporting some new Support equipment, designed almost immediately after the Sports Festival. New, bulkier gauntlets contained stores of small, BB-sized pellets, which through a complicated system, would pass over her palms to get infused with the explosion-causing liquid she could secrete, before being fired out. It would give her a long range option. They were still working on an enhancement for her boots that would let her use controlled explosions for some rocket-powered jumps. They just needed to figure out a way to make sure she didn't blow her feet off doing it. Neither of which would help here, but she already liked that she was making up for the weaknesses she'd had during the Sports Festival.
"Ready then?" Aunt Ochaco asked.
Katsumi nodded and took Aunt Ochaco's hand, feeling her stomach lurch slightly at the sudden weightlessness. Aunt Ochaco canceled her own gravity, then jumped, launching them both through a hole in the side of building.
It was time to get to work.
"Will both of you stop following us?!" Monoma had bellowed, looking down the otherwise deserted hallway where Horse-Girl and the weird cartoon girl from his class had been peering around the corner. She'd known Horse-Girl and Monoma used to be a thing and she'd also known Horse-Girl was nothing but trouble. If she and the otaku were spying on them, it didn't bode well.
She'd just counted herself lucky Spooky the invisible girl wasn't following them. She definitely didn't need the gossip girl trying to put non-existent puzzle pieces together.
"Five minutes," Katsumi had reminded him. "I'm being generous and not taking travel time out of that. But the clock's starting now."
Monoma had frowned and she would have sworn that she had seen some of the arrogance leave his eyes. "This has been a long time coming," he'd said. "And, perhaps, in my need to hide it, I've let my pride lead the way. I won't claim that everything I've ever said was wrong, but I might have pushed a few more buttons than I should have."
"Fine, you're apologizing for being an ass," she'd said, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'll take it. Can I go now?" Had he really been feeling regret after all this time? She hadn't realized that he was capable of it. She'd assumed he was working an angle.
"I'm not done talking!" he'd snapped. And then he'd deflated again, holding up both hands. "I'm sorry. Please, stay. I'm just having trouble with my words here."
Katsumi had continued to glare and had made a "hurry up" gesture.
He'd rubbed the back of his head and made a frustrated face. "Kana told me I should just be upfront with this. Which is honestly far better advice than Fukidashi or Mika offered me. I swear, they just want to get me killed for their own entertainment… Anyway, I know that you respect forthrightness. I'd hoped to be able to do this in a more spectacular fashion, after I won the Sports Festival, but alas…"
"Two minutes," she'd said. Somewhere, in the back of her mind, alarm bells had been ringing, telling her that this conversation was starting to take a very familiar turn.
He'd held up his hands again and he'd seemed… diminished somehow. "No borrowed body language. No fancy moves. Just me. Weak and alone. In front of all your strength and furty. And the reason… the reason why I ride you so much, it's a cover up, you see. To disguise the fact that I've been in love with you."
And that had been when she'd slugged him.
They'd already managed to rescue three people, with various injuries. Nothing life threatening, thankfully. A broken arm, a broken leg, some nasty cuts, but all things that people would survive.
"H... Hano," the man they were rescuing said, weak and battered, having taken a blow to the head, "he's… he's still inside… went to look for… more people…"
Aunt Ochaco frowned. "Bombshell," she said, "I've got to get him to triage. Can you look for Hano? Turn on your locator beacon if you find him." She had the better chance of getting him to safety quickly.
Katsumi nodded. Technically, the rules of the Internship meant she wasn't to be left unsupervised when in the field, but it did allow for certain exceptions in action and under emergency situations. And this certainly qualified as one. Aunt Ochaco gave her a nod and mouthed "be safe" before taking off with the injured man.
Katsumi headed in the direction the man had pointed, turning the small flashlight she'd attached to her gauntlet on, playing the beam over whatever she could. This far into the office, it was harder to see and while there was less broken glass and rubble, there was still plenty of structural damage and falling debris. The air was thick with dust, making her consider she might need a filter to go with her costume. With the structural damage to the building, it was probably only a matter of time before the upper floors caved in. Provided, of course, that they didn't get proper reinforcement.
"Hano!" she shouted. "Anyone! Call out! I'm with the rescue team!"
A weak sound, a moan, answered her, coming from a corner of the sea of cubicles. Above, the ceiling had given way and it looked like something had fallen through. She ran toward it like her life depended on it, heedless of what might be in her way or whether or not the floor was safe for her to travel on. Foolish, perhaps, but she got lucky.
What she found, however, didn't have anything to do with luck at all.
Hano—or at least she assumed the man was Hano—was pinned under a metal I-beam that had fallen from the floor above. No… even pinned wasn't the right word here. Crushed. That was the word for it. The I-beam had come down on his midsection. There had to be broken ribs or worse. The basic first aid she'd learned when they were training at the USJ told her that much. And there was blood coming from his mouth, standing out in stark contrast to his pale blue skin. That he was still alive was not a mercy.
"Is… is someone… is someone there?" he gasped. "I can't… can't see so good…"
Katsumi activated the locator beacon built into her gauntlet, for all the good it would do, then switched on her communicator. "This is Bombshell," she said. "I've found a… survivor. I don't think he has much time. He's pinned and I can't move it."
The admission cost her something. She hated admitting weakness, hated the idea that there was something she couldn't do. She was far more fit than most girls her age, but she wasn't strong enough here, not by a longshot.
"Understood, Bombshell," came the voice of one of Uravity's senior Sidekicks, a woman named Lodestone, who had a magnetic Quirk. "Uravity is heading back your way now."
She knelt down next to the man. "I'm here," she said. "I'm here to help." She tried to project a confidence into her voice. She wanted him to feel that everything was going to be okay. "Uravity's on her way and she'll get you out of this."
In her mind, she was suddenly five years old again, in a hospital emergency room, seeing her Papa, seeming broken beyond all repair. She'd felt helpless then and she felt hopeless again now. She dove into a fight headless of what might happen… and yet here was another stark reminder of how fragile people really were.
An explosion would do no good here, her Quirk was useless. She couldn't punch him free, couldn't move the beam trapping him, even if she tried. Even if Aunt Ochaco got back here now, there wasn't anything anyone could do. Lifting the I-beam would simply remove whatever pressure was still keeping him alive.
"Had to see…" Hano said, "had to see if anyone… if anyone still… needed… to get… out… Then… the ceiling… came down…" He coughed, wetly. "Did… did… Fujiwara get… out?"
Katsumi prided herself on honesty, hated lying and untruths. But the lie passed her lips here easily. It was the least she could do. "They did."
Cold reality slapped her in the face again. "Guess I… shouldn't have… tried to be… a hero…"
"You," she said, the words sticking in her throat, "you tried to do the right thing. Can't blame anybody for that. That's… that's what a Hero does. Rushes in when everyone else is rushing out." Why wasn't she better with words? She was the last person who should be comforting anyone, especially in a time like this.
He coughed, wetly, more blood coming from his mouth. He raised a hand weakly, grasping for something. Katsumi reached out and grabbed it in hers. There wasn't much else she could do.
"Tell… tell my husband…"
He didn't get to finish that thought. The light left his eyes and he was gone.
Somewhere, someone was screaming. She suddenly realized it was her.
Uravity's Agency didn't just do rescue work; she was cross-trained in more conventional Hero work as well and insisted that her Sidekicks be capable of the same. Too, the work of a Rescue Hero was physically demanding, maybe even more so than conventional Heroics. A fight might last only a few minutes, but a rescue could take hours. Dad and Papa both respected the hell out of Rescue Heroes. Even if Aunt Ochaco wasn't practically family, Katsumi would too.
As such, to keep up with the physical demands of the job, the Agency had a fantastic gym.
But all she needed right now was a punching bag. Again and again, Katsumi struck out, wrapped fists pounding into it. She'd been doing it so long that it hurt. Good. The pain was a distraction. It gave her something else to focus her thoughts on. Because anything was better than dwelling on her failure.
Logically, she knew that Hano had been dead before she'd found him. Unless you were very tough or had some access to a healing Quirk, you didn't live through that kind of damage. Even if she'd found him sooner, or been capable of freeing him, the odds were good he'd have died all the same.
She'd insisted on carrying the body after Aunt Ochaco had arrived and moved the beam. She'd powered through the rest of the rescue work. Helped shift rubble, helped find more victims. Even used a very precise explosion to burn off the excess gas from a busted gas main. It had taken until they'd gotten back to the Agency for the reality of it all to hit her.
So she did what she always did when she had something she didn't want to deal with: she found something to hit.
"Katsumi," a voice from behind said. Aunt Ochaco. She'd shucked her helmet and the extraneous pieces of her uniform, the gauntlets and boots, leaving only the skintight pink and black bodysuit.
"Katsumi," she said again. "You need to rest. You were already on the go for hours before you go here."
"Can't rest," Katsumi said. "Punching."
"Hmm," Aunt Ochaco made a concerned noise. "This is… about what happened out there, isn't it?"
Katsumi knew it was futile to try and dodge the question. Aunt Ochaco had known her all her life. She was, in fact, one of the strongest female figures in her life. A perfect example of Womanliness. She could no more lie to her than she could fly.
Instead of pressing her on it though, Aunt Ochaco slipped on a couple of strike pads. "Try punching something else, then?"
Katsumi blinked in surprise. "Okay," she said, more than a little suspicious. But she dropped into a fighting stance, throwing a few experimental punches. Aunt Ochaco blocked them easily and she picked up the pace.
Aunt Ochaco had been taught by no less than Gunhead and knew the rhythm of a fight better than almost anyone. She kept up with Katsumi's barrage of blow easily, even though she had to be exhausted. "Your first loss in the field," she said. "I'm sorry I put you in that position."
"Not your fault," Katsumi said. And it wasn't. Aunt Ochaco hadn't had any way of knowing what would happen.
"But not what I'd hoped for the first day of your Internship."
"What were you hoping for anyway? You gotta know I'm not exactly the "rescue" type."
Aunt Ochaco still managed to keep up with her flying fists, showing no sign of slowing down. "Figured I could teach you a few things about channeling some of that rage."
Katsumi shrugged. "That's fair."
"Did I ever tell you about the first time I lost someone in a rescue?" Aunt Ochaco asked, still somehow showing no signs of tiring.
"Sir Nighteye?" Katsumi asked. She knew this story. Or at least, what she suspected was the "child friendly" version the adults preferred to tell.
"Right," Aunt Ochaco said. "I did everything I could to get him out in time. But he was already dying by the time we got him in the ambulance. I think all I did was give him a chance to die in a hospital instead of a hideout. Aizawa always said I didn't do anything wrong… But I still think about in the long, dark moments of the night. He was the first. And not the last either."
Katsumi finally felt the strength leave her limbs and her arms hung numbly at her sides. "I'm guessing it doesn't get any eaiser?"
Aunt Ochaco shook her head. "Every time hurts. And Izuku's had people he couldn't save either, you know. Or your dads. Nobody in the business has a perfect record. Sooner or later, you're going to lose someone. I just wish I could have kept it from happening to you so soon."
Katsumi wiped at her face. Damn sweat, dripping down her eyes. "What… what do you do?"
Aunt Ochaco let the pads fall to the floor, then crossed the short distance between them and wrapped her arms around Katsumi. "You keep on fighting. And fight even harder the next time. Something I think you're going to be pretty great at."
Katsumi put her arms around Aunt Ochaco, leaning into her. "Doesn't help me not feel like a failure now."
"You were there for him in his last breaths," Aunt Ochaco said. "You still had your comm open. I heard what you said. Sometimes… that has to be enough."
Her fist had made a satisfying crack when it hit Monoma in the face, sending him rocketing back into the wall behind him.
"You smug little copycatting bastard! You think that's funny? You think you can just make a fool of me like that?"
One hand had reached into his pocket, pulling out a handkerchief that he'd used to staunch the flow of blood from what was clearly a broken nose. The other had waved in the air in what had seemed like apologetic gestures.
"I meand it." His voice had been muffled and distorted by the broken nose and handkerchief, but there was still a different tone to it, lacking the usual mocking tones he used when speaking to her or her classmates. "I wanded to proob mahself and show you I was stronk but I dibn't get the chaunce."
Her blood had run cold as she'd realized he was serious. Which had not been something she could deal with then. So she'd chosen to ignore it. "C'mon," she'd said. "Let's get you to Doc Clock and get that patched up."
Uncertainty had flashed in his eyes. "I don't wanna have this conversation until I can understand you."
One quick visit to the Doc later, during which, Monoma had surprised her by claiming to have walked into a wall (When did he ever pass up an opportunity to try and get her in trouble?), the two of them had been back out in the hallway in no time flat.
Desperate not to have the conversation she'd known was coming, Katsumi had held him off with a request for lunch first.
Which had somehow translated into the two of them sitting at the same table in the cafeteria. If you'd asked her for a list of the top one hundred things she didn't think would happen, that would have been right near the top.
"Okay," she'd said, in-between bites of food, finally speaking after a very long, awkward silence where he'd squirmed uncomfortably. "No threats. No time limits. You're gonna get to talk here. But when I tell you to shut up, you shut up. Okay?"
He'd nodded at that. Smart man.
"Then talk."
"Then," he'd begun, "let me say again that this is no trick or joke. No aces up my sleeve, no wheels spinning, no intent to mock you. But I've been in love with you for a long time."
"Since when?" she'd demanded.
"At least since junior high. When you'd punched that girl for picking on Todoroki. You were powerful and protective and amazing. You were everything, everything I wasn't. Strong and assertive, with nothing but your own confidence and power to back you up."
That had been a day she remembered well. One of many where she'd had to come to Izzy's defense. When the nameless desire to protect fragile Izzy and keep her safe had driven so much of who she was, the desire she now was learning to temper, now that she knew Izzy did not love her in the same way, and did not need nearly as much protection.
"Between me and the Horse-Girl, I'm starting to think you've got a thing for girls who can kick your ass, Monoma. You ain't gonna start falling for the Moth-Girl, are you?"
"Wha… No!" he'd snapped, startled, his delicate features were flushed with embarassment. "Mika and I weren't… it didn't have anything to do with… And Kocho didn't kick my ass… she bested me! There's a difference!"
"Uh-huh."
"But that was the start of it," he'd gone on. "So I started watching you. And I saw so much to admire and so much that I didn't have. And that's not even touching on the physical attract… "
She'd held up a hand. "Stop talking." To his credit, he'd shut up. She quickly did a little bit of mental math. "Wait. You dated the Horse-Girl when you were thirteen." It was a fact she'd really wished she didn't know, but it was still there. "Are you telling me I'm your fucking rebound crush?!"
"What?" he'd asked. "No! That was a mutual break up! She's still my friend! It's not related!"
"Okay," she'd said, accepting that for now. "So why now?"
"Too many people were figuring it out. Kana. Mika. Akaya. Fukidashi. As I said, I had this big plan to win the Sports Festival and impress you then, with a show of skill and strength. That… did not work out. So my back-up plan was simple honesty."
She'd actually felt a pang of sympathy for him. She knew too well what it was like to love someone who you didn't know how they felt about you. And she even knew how it felt to love someone who didn't love you back. It was pain she wouldn't wish on anyone, even him. And yet, here they'd been.
"Okay," she'd said. "One, that took balls, which I honestly wasn't sure you had."
She'd ticked off additional points on her fingers. "Two, I'm sor… I apolo… I shouldn't have punched you. For once. But you gotta realize, Monoma… I don't like you."
His face had fallen and he'd looked down, hurt by the words, but also clearly having been expecting it.
"The way you talk to me, the way you talk to my friends, the way you talk to the rest of my class, that ain't Manly. It ain't right."
She'd pointed a finger at him, accusingly. "And you obviously don't know me half as well as you think you do, if you thought theatric were the way to go, like I was gonna leap into your arms like some weak ass princess with the knight who killed the dragon. So whatever you thought you loved, I'm not sure I'm it."
He'd been honest with her. So she'd made the choice to be honest with him. "And I'm not in the right place to be thinking about that kind of anything right now anyway. But the way it stands, you're not what I'm looking for."
It'd been one of the longest conversations she'd had with someone who wasn't Izzy, Toshi, or Kana. And definitely the longest conversation she'd ever had with him, nearly threat free too.
"I see," he'd said, standing, and taking his tray with him. "Thank you then, for your time. But please know… I never thought you a prize to be won. I merely wanted to be good enough."
And then he'd left her alone.
She'd felt… not exactly bad about it, but perhaps a bit regretful. It had hardly been the first time she'd hurt him, but that had always been an act of controlled, physical violence. This had been different and she hadn't been able to punch her way out of it.
Memories of her conversation with Izzy, where she'd been on the other side of a similar confession and denial, had come racing back to her mind. Pain she'd thought she'd finally pushed past came bubbling back up.
At least that would be the end of it. She didn't like Monoma, but everybody deserved somebody that made them happy. She'd found herself actually wishing that he'd find that happiness.
Just not with her.
KABOOM!
The force of the explosion sent the Villain flying. His rock-like hide made sure he could take the hit without too much damage, but the impact still made him bounce, once, twice, three times. Katsumi made a mental note to thank the designers of her new gauntlets. Being able to attack at range was a whole game changer. Not quite as satisfying as a punch, but what was?
"And release!"
Three more Villains fell to the ground, hitting hard. Of course, Aunt Ochaco had taken down more than she had. She was the more experienced Hero here. And despite the Rescue Hero branding, one of the biggest ass kickers on the planet.
What had these four idiots even been doing? A bank robbery? Trying to take advantage of the destruction in the city? In this day and age? Katsumi had to smile. Idiots they may have been, but they'd given her something to punch and blast. And for that, she was thankful. Villains were a problem she could solve.
She needed that, after yesterday.
There were still plenty of people on the streets, probably too close to the action, even after having been told to back off.
Katsumi always strove to be the best that she could be. She wouldn't have considered herself a glory hound, but in that moment, the applause from the crowd felt pretty damn good indeed.
She still saw Hano when she closed her eyes. Still saw the light leave his eyes as he died. She'd called home last night, cried her eyes out. Her, the big bad Bombshell, crying like a little girl. She couldn't remember the last time she had cried like that.
No one would have blamed her if she'd backed off after that. It may have been something Heroes dealt with often, but she was still a student, barely into her Internship.
But she was Katsumi Kirishima-Bakugo.
And she didn't back down.