My foot slips off the hold below. I know it's there, otherwise I'd be falling. But I can't see anything at all. If I turn my head too far then I lose my balance and drop. Already the adrenaline is coursing through my body unchecked, urging me to do what I cannot. Sure, my muscles are stronger than before and I'm more awake that I've ever been but this is also the highest I've ever been. My entire body starts to tremble as I cling desperately for support, refusing to give up. Muscles start to fatigue as I use all my energy and strength to keep myself up here. I feel the burn in my right arm and the cramping in my left. I've gotten pretty good climbing at this route yet somehow I always manage to make it hard on myself. I felt the sweat accumulating on my forehead and hands loosening my grip on the holds that I had been saving me from falling.
But this is my last climb of the day and I need to make it count regardless of the precarious position I put myself in. In my 3 months of working here I've learned a few things. Patience and perseverance always seem to prevail. Stay determined and creative. Brute strength alone wasn't the answer. So I took a deep breath and steadied my nerves, releasing one hand from the wall to the bag of chalk in hopes that it would soak up the sweat from hands.
"You got this babe!" Madison's voice floated to my ears almost giving a new burst of energy to my body.
"Yea Em, you're almost there. You can do this!" Followed Kiya and soon I found myself refocused.
I stared at the puzzle before me and like a GPS began to find an alternate route. All climbing is, is a set of steps from Point A to Point B. A piece of art that has been dissembled and reassembled, a path that I invent as I climb. And so when the situation isn't going like a I planned, the route I take allows me to control what happens, to create new paths. I then retrace my steps; giving myself a different perspective to open up to the new possibitlites in completely the climb. My feet find the holds below and with one final push I catapult myself to the top and ring the bell signaling that I had finished.
The cheers from below eased the little hits my ego took. I blinked away the sweat that rolled into my eyes and used the last of my strength to take off the harness once my feet hit the floor. My forearms are stiff, my legs quiver, and I can't feel the tips of my fingers. But damn it…that shit was worth it.
"Great job. You're getting better and better." Kiya's reassuring smile helped. Her beautiful skin was the hue of English oak in spring rains, and her honey colored eyes shined with warmth. She is so fucking beautiful. Over the last few months Kiya and I have become increasingly close. Sometimes when we would open the gym together I'd sneak a quick peak through the stall, catching glimpses of her changing into her workout clothes, her lithe, toned body covered in small tattoos. Through the slit I could see 4-one her ribs, her pelvis, her upper thigh, and her ankle.
"Thanks. Learning from the best." I wiped my face with one of towels from the rack and tossed it at her playfully. She caught it with ease and threw it back, hitting me square in my face.
"So you mean me?" Diego chimed in. His heavy, sun kissed to perfection, muscular arms wrapped around me, almost taking to the ground with my strength lacking.
"Come on. Obviously she's, talking about me." Madison started, "After all, I was one that trained her." The confidence was streaming off her, enough to hear Diego scoff behind me. Swiftly he made his way around me and they started playing around. Madison and Diego practiced Mauy Thai together and began to spar lightly with each other. Kiya rolled her eyes, slid over to me so our shoulders were touching. Her hand came up and gripped the inside of my arm as she led me to the front desk.
"You really are getting good. I don't think I've ever seen anyone pick up techniques as quick as you." She began to rummage through a drawer and I couldn't help but take notice of her toned arms flex under the movement.
"Thanks. Never thought I'd like rock climbing but there's something about it that I just can't get enough of." My eyes roamed over the tight spandex hugging her butt and those ridiculously long legs of hers.
"I meant to ask earlier, but what do your tattoos mean?"
She blinked once in a surprised manner and her neck reddened from a blush. "Um, when have you seen my tattoos?"
Oh shit. Now it was my turn to blink. Fuck I guess there's no real way to say 'I've been watching you in the bathroom while you change' without sound creepy. "Um," I started, stumbling through the sentence while I awkwardly played with a loose thread on my pants. "I just, uh, noticed one day when you were climbing."
Her eyes raked over my body as she studied my movements. "Well, I actually have a few. The first one was Pisces symbol because well, I'm a Pisces." The one on her ribs. "The rose on my ankle was for a relationship that I thought would last forever. But you know what they say 'never get a tattoo of your lover'? It's true, don't do it." A light chuckle escaped her lips and it made me think of when Ruby wanted to get one of her boyfriend freshman year. Glad she didn't do that. "I have another on my thigh, that's a smiley face. That was drunken mistake." Another blush tinted her cheeks and I wondered if she was embarrassed by it. "And lastly I have one on my pelvis that's a half music note, half heart. I love music, it's my true passion." She paused, biting her lip as if she was hesitant to say more. "And after I got out of the hospital from my ex boyfriend I was in a horrible place. When I looked it gave me strength, reminded me of my talents and what I had to offer to the world."
I nodded in response, because relationships weren't a topic that we had come across yet. My body tensed at the thought of Regina. "Wow, that's very intense but also beautiful."
"Yea, life is crazy." We shared a silence as she twirled her thumbs, "You know I sing at the café around the corner from here on weekends. You should come through on night."
"Yea I would love-"
A load squeal brought me out of my trance. There at the top of the kiddy wall Roland rang the bell, and the gym erupted in applause and cheers once more. His doe-like brown eyes caught mind and a sweet dimpled smile crossed his face. When he got to the ground Diego gave him some high-fives and rubbed his ever growing hair. Soon his brown eyes shifted to the door and I felt a moment of panic.
Could it be?...is it…
"Jefferson!" his voice was filled with the delight as my roommate began to glide across the mats on the floor. Roland wasted no time and jumped in his arms. As I watched the two interact I felt the panic dissipate from my body and become replaced with a sense of yearning.
Regina...
The sound of her voice is fading from my memory. Any dreams I had of her were only happening occasionally and the image of her was becoming less detailed, her face was beginning to blur around the edges. I stopped reading old text messages filled with memories simply because I didn't have the time. Work had been much more…work than I expected. I've been busy since we got back from Greece.
The sigh that escaped my lips allowed me to hit the reset button, settling the emotions that were starting to brew within.
"You with me Swan?" Kiya's question became an afterthought that tugged this conversation back into view.
"Yea. Sorry. Text me the info. I'm just gonna…" My words trailed off, without waiting for a reply I hopped the desk and walked over to Roland. He locked eyes with me immediately and began to wiggle himself away from Killian and Diego.
"Emma did you see that!" his voice filled with triumphant and pride. Dropping to my butt I sat down next to him and he followed suit, his shoulder touched mine as he leaned in. Roland has become something like a brother to me. We've been hanging out every week, grant it, it comes in the form babysitting, but he could've chose to stay with his old baby sitter, instead he asked if I wouldn't mind taking over the job. And with how much Coach Robin pays for the hour plus one on one time with this little guy, it was no brainer.
"I did see that. Proud of you." I felt more of his weight press against me, so I opened my arm and draped it over his shoulders, pulling him in a little closer. His sigh of content let me know I'd done the right thing. I dropped my chin and buried my nose in his hair. Immediately Regina's scent filled me, and I guessed they must've spent some time together today. Instead of pushing away Roland I allowed myself to simmer in the mixed scents of this amazing little kid and my ex. There was a time when I was upset with myself when I told Regina I needed space, but now I've found peace with it. Now, in these days when I miss her I can entertain the idea because I've become as close to being independent as I can achieve. There is a feeling of emotional safety in learning how to rely on myself. Don't get me wrong it's a challenge. Sometimes I find myself flipping through my phone, coming across her contact and had to resist the urge to text or call.
"Are we still on for tomorrow?" Jefferson had some frustration in his words and I could only sum it up to one person. Diego.
I've watched those two interact for months, Diego picks on Jefferson in a way that reminds of school boy who's mean to his crush. It's cute, but J fucking hates it. He's always going on about how could a guy like him get a job like this, but never misses the chance to check out his butt when he walks by.
"I wouldn't miss it for the world." The boy patted the open space next to him and cueing him to sit down. "I can't wait to see your new place." He finished.
"It's not much to look at yet." I added, releasing the grip I had around his body.
"Nah, she's just being pessimistic." Jefferson chimed in, getting comfortable on the ground. "We cleaned the fuck out of that place." No we didn't.
I leaned over to glare at my roomie and he just shrugged his shoulders. "He's heard the word fuck before." He dipped his head close to Roland's ear. "You have heard the word fuck before, right?"
We all couldn't contain the laughter that echoed off the walls in the gym. "Alright kid, time to get ready to go." I said, standing up and straightening out the spandex that now felt uncomfortable due to all the sweat that I accumulated during my last climb.
"Noooo." He whined, and like magic the front door opened. The remaining instructors and last few climbers turned their heads to see the beautiful woman enter. Roland didn't look super thrilled to see her, still pouting from my earlier remark. Everyone gave their hellos, stealing glances at her exposed skin as she walked over to us. Jefferson stood, bringing the boy to his feet with him.
"There's my newphew." She greeted and I could tell Zelena had been out in the sun a lot. Her tan skin that told the story of summertime brought out a beautiful shade that starkly stood against her bright red hair. It would be easy to pinpoint her within a crowd. With the last heat wave rolling through Los Angeles I too had began wearing clothes that showed off my skin more and more. Unfortunately, I couldn't hold a tan to save my life.
She leaned over and without hesitation Roland leaned in for a hug. "Get your stuff. Mother will kill me if we miss the tuxedo fitting again." The young boy rolled his eyes and gravity pulled his shoulders down. He turned around and slumped to get his backpack.
Fucking Cora.
Even Roland can see through every aspect of her. She'd probably have more luck with her grandson if she could figure how empathy works.
"What's cooking good-looking?" Zelena wiggled her eyebrows at me.
"Everything hot stuff." Jefferson replied, even though he could tell she wasn't talking to him. "Oh, you were talking to me right?" I attempted to push him, but he was able to dodge it effortlessly. "Okay I'll let you two catch up and I'll be the responsible adult that makes sure Roland is staying on track." Not too long after he walked away Zelena came up behind me, pinned me with her arms, and began peppering the side of my face with kisses.
"How is it that you sweat all day and still manage to smell good?"
"It's a gift. Or that fact that I spilled a candle on myself this morning while I was getting ready." That shit really hurt. I winced at the memory of moving too fast with a candle in my hand and having wax go all over shirt and the floor. But hey, at least my room smells great now.
"Definitely sounds like an Emma-like move." A light chuckle brushed across my ear and I shuddered at the feeling. "So, you're still coming to the wedding, yes?" Ah fuck. The wedding. Untangling myself from her grip, I turned to face Zelena but already I could see a look form on her face.
"I mean, I want to but…" I trailed off and ran a hand through my hair. The list of excuses filtered throught my brain. So many that it was hard to pick one. "I mean I really want to, I really do. It's just…" Do I choose an excuse about Regina? Maybe Cora? Both are solid reason to avoid holy matrimony. "I just feel like I was finally getting my shit together," Okay uh not quite what I was going for, "Be my own person, having my own job, paying my own rent. No relying on anyone. And I feel like if I go, I'll get sucked right back into the shit." I did everything I could to avoid the lazer eyes in front of me "Besides I was planning on going cliff diving that day." Not entirely a lie, Rachel's crazy ass has been into some adrenaline pumping shenanigans ever since her and Ivy split. And on top of the long list of reasons why I shouldn't go would Cora even let me in? She would have to, right? I scoffed to myself and shook my head. Who am I kidding? That bitch wouldn't pass up a chance to make a scene.
Her gaze darted over-bright green eyes staring at me from underneath her wavy hair and her freckles crinkled. She seemed to be analyzing my answer, then took a breath and stepped away as if she was giving me space to let my words sit. "Cliff diving, uh huh…sure." She closed the gap again, and pretty soon I was wrapped up in the scent of the Mills sisters.
"What are you talking about? We are going to do it." I defended.
"Mhm." She pushed out nonchalantly.
"Seriously, we visited the website like 7 times."
"Yeah, what's the name of the place?"
"Uh, Shirley Temple's…Cliff diving…Extravaganza." Rolled eyes responded with a huff quickly following. "Okay fine. The point is I wanted to have other options, you know. Because if I didn't than I would feel like I had to go. And why do I have to go? It's not like I'm in the wedding. Sure Coach, Marian, Roland, and I are really close but-"
Her hand came to my face, pointer finger curling under my chin bringing my eyes to meet hers effectively ceasing my rant. "Listen, if you don't want to go you don't have to go. Nobody is forcing you to do it." Right, nobody is forcing me, but it kinda feels like you're forcing me. Her hand slid from my face to my shoulder and finally to my lower back. Zelena began to walk to the door guiding me alongside her. Climbers began leaving, saying their goodbyes to me as they left, and soon the gym was nearly empty.
"It feels like you are about to force me though." My voice dropped to a whisper in order to keep the conversation between us.
"No, I'm not. I just don't want you to feel like you have to give me some bullshit excuse. We know each too well for that." She gazed at the side of my face, waiting for me to respond. "Listen, you can always find a reason to not do something. But if there's stuff you want to do then do that stuff." Yes that made zero fucking sense.
"Wait, are you telling to go the wedding? Or cliff diving?" I could probably swing both honestly.
"Which one do you want to do?" Great question. Which one did I want to do? Of course I want to be there for Marian and Coach's special day. And as Jefferson stated a couple days ago, the free food and the drinks that we can sneak are an added bonus. The cons however mean seeing Cora. And not just Cora what about Regina? I know I said that we can be friends but we haven't spoken since that night outside Robin's house. How would she feel about me being there? Is she expecting me to show up?
"Honestly, I don't know."
"I'm ready Aunt Zelena." Roland interjected. Shit, I didn't even see him walk over here. His eyes moved from Zelena's to mine, back to Zelena and then landed on me once more. I know Roland's been dying to ask about the wedding and my attendance but he hasn't. His brows creased and jaw tightened. He must've been able to sense the shift. "What's going on?"
"Nothing." Zelena answered before I could even register what the question was. And although it seemed like the young boy could tell we were covering something up by look on his curious face he didn't press the issue any further.
"Okayyy." He drawled out before his eyes once again met mine. "See you tomorrow?" he asked.
"Of course." I gave him a smile, on that was true and pure. I didn't want him to have any reasons of uncertainty.
"Hey Emma!" Kiya called, and I turned my head in her direction. "We're closing down!"
"Alright, well I guess we should get going." Jefferson said as he was trying to get out of headlock that Diego had put him. A knuckle came up and scruffed his air back and forth. Oof, Jefferson is not going to like that. I felt a shoulder nudge against mine.
"She's a cutie." Zelena whispered. I rolled my eyes and bit my lip. She's not wrong.
"I'm just going to walk them out." I shouted back to Kiya. She sent me a nod in return and I felt a little warmth pool at the base of my stomach. Not like it used to with Regina, but there was a small spark that ignited. Maybe that's a good thing. I walked outside and felt the cooler air hug my skin. My eyes scanned the metered parking for her Maserati but came up empty.
"Thanks for walking us outside. I'm sure you wanted to-" but her voice trailed off.
The car that I had been so accustomed to seeing in the teacher parking lot came into view. Pulled off about a block in front of the gym. I waited for my heart rate to skyrocket, thumping wildly against my chest. I waited for the tingles that ran down my arm and settled in the center of palm, as it always did whenever she was near. Why is she here? Regina never came by. Maybe she doesn't know that this is where I work or maybe that's not even her in the car.
As the car door open I waited for the panic to grow and for my mental faculties to give way to the emotions building up inside of me. I waited for the constricted feeling, the one that made feel like I was being strangled by the air around us. I felt a tug on my hand, assuming it was Roland trying to get my attention but I couldn't break away. I watched as one leg came out, calve flexing under the weight of her movements. Then another leg, and slowly she pulled herself out of the Porsche with her back towards us.
Three months of no Regina and suddenly here she is before me. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, slender fingers moved over the screen before Zelena's chimed. I waited for a sign of any self panic but none came, and I wasn't sure but I think a part of me hoped she would turn around and look at me. Her brown hair had grown even longer, almost down to the middle of her back. Streaks of auburn and blonde highlights shown as the rays of sunlight bounce off her beautiful locks. Another tug on my hand from Roland and I found my sense of calm anchored to my new found self confidence. Earned over three months of fending for myself.
"Helloooo…Emma." Zelena's hand waved in front of my face snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Huh?"
"I was just saying Roland and I have to get going, but Robin and Marian will be by tomorrow around three and he'll be all yours." She replied, but eyed me carefully. I tilted my head and looked at Roland who was giving me a smile that filled his entire face. I stepped back and held up my hands like I was about to throw a punch and Roland copied my movements.
"Playtime's over, boy!" I tried doing my best Leroy Green impression. But…
"Kiss my Converse." Roland replied, also attempting to make an impression. We stared at each other for a moment.
"Sho 'nuff." Both us said at the same time before busting out in hysterics. Without wasting time he wrapped his arms around my stomach and gave me a hug.
"Ya'll are some nerds." Zelena chimed in, playfully pushing me when he let go. We shared a few more giggles before the seriousness was back on her face. "Okay we really have to go." I watched Roland's features drop and made promises of 80's movies and junk food tomorrow which seemed to cheer him up. Hand in hand they walked off towards the white Porsche. Roland called for his other aunt and a smile creased deeply in Regina's face. She kissed his forehead and then gave Zelena a tight hug.
The gym door chimed signaling that someone was leaving but Jefferson's cologne was soon in my bubble, almost assaulting my nose.
"Woah…" he mumbled beside me.
"Yup." I replied shortly.
"Is that…?"
"Yup."
He took a deep breath through his nose and exhaled out of his mouth. "How are you doing?"
"You know what…" I trailed off as a grin tugged on my lips while I watched them open the car doors and get settled in those comfy ass seats. "Not bad. Not bad at all."
The flag on the car fluttered violently in the wind. Jefferson's 'Drive Fast, Eat Ass' flag that Ruby had gotten him was cute on the city streets but on the highway it moved so quickly that I wondered if it would snap right off the pole. I watched the cheap plastic bend as if it were trying to take flight. It stays that way, a battle between the pole and the flag until the car slowed down to the off ramp. I switched my attention to the changing scenery, this will be home for who knows how long. It felt alien to me but no doubt when it would be time to move on I would feel the wrench in the pits of my stomach.
"Here we are!" Jefferson exclaimed. "Home sweet home." Turning the keys counterclockwise the car died down. Hearing the release of the seat belt I slid it off my chest then leaned forward to take in our new home. I couldn't believe it. We had our own place. And even though the building seemed to be on centuries of settled foundation, it still brought a feeling of welcome.
"Home sweet home." I replied before opening the car door and making my way to his trunk. It popped open with ease and we grabbed the last two boxes. Of course I had the heaviest one and struggled to find a good grip as we walked across the street. An older woman was standing on the porch to our place, holding a Pomeranian tucked between her arm and ribs waved at us.
"Hey Mrs. Dern!" Jefferson picked up speed to make as I muttered curse words under my breath. Mrs. Dern was our landlord. The map of wrinkles on her face told the most incredible journey. Her forehead told stories of past worries but her smile said she was built from love and wisdom. And when she smiled, I couldn't help but do the same. Unfortunately she had a wicked smoker's cough that could be heard in a 10 mile radius.
"Emma. Jefferson. So lovely to see you." My set of house keys reflected a heavy glare against the sunlight almost blinding me in the process. She handed them out to me and I did my best to balance the box as she dropped them in my hands. "Mail, home, and laundry are all attached to the chain. Rent is due on the first of the month. There is no grace period so please don't be late." Her Pomeranian barked as if to add an exclamation to the end of her sentence. As she walked away without another word to us I set the box down and opened the door to our new place.
The door creaked horribly as it opened and a certain smell caught my attention when I walked in. Candles, we'll need a lot of scented candles. More than the one I spilled yesterday.
"Welp…we're not in Santorini anymore." Jefferson stated, bringing up the rear and used his foot to gently shut the door. Through the rays of light that were peeping through the blinds dust particles could be seen floating in the air.
"We sure the fuck aren't." Everything in our sight had slept a while under the silken dust, ready to awaken the day somebody decided to take a rag and polish to it. But the big open space with walls that didn't connect to the ceiling made the 600sqft apartment feel much bigger. The secondary level had a bedroom that overlooked the main living space. And really it wasn't even a bedroom. High ceilings, exposed brick, metal beams, and a semi polished concrete floor made up our new apartment. Some of the paint was peeled by the windows where the rain had gotten through the poorly secured windows. Psychedelic tapestries and eclectic artwork covered the walls downstairs. It would be like Jefferson to put stuff up before cleaning.
"I tried my best to decorate and take away from this boring ass exposed brick while you were getting rock climbing instructors certificate." The box he was holding hit the floor with a loud thud as a sigh fell from his lips. "I know this place can't be spruced up the way we want but, it's a start."
"Well luckily you're here. So we have some hope." I offered with a reassuring smile gracing my lips soon after. Honestly I was grateful he tried to make this place a little less dull while I was gone. I really don't have the desire to do it anyway. The apartment was absolutely outdated but we wanted to be smart about how much rent we could split per month. And as the saying goes 'you get what you pay for'. Very much true in this case.
"I still call the downstairs bedroom slash den. I don't trust myself climbing up those steps not sober." He joked. "Plus it's closer to the bathroom."
I couldn't help but chuckle at his remark while we simultaneously ventured to each of our rooms. I began to climb the stairs and the wood creaked under the weight of my feet. At least the steps were neat and square, easy to take in one stride. The top was my bedroom similar to the loft style Regina had in her place. Just much, much, much smaller. My bed lay in the middle, naked of sheets, and four boxes sat on the floor. Here's my life, summed up in just a few boxes.
There was a small balcony that grew from the walls of my room like generous arms from a host. The metal railings had chipped ocean green and blue paint or perhaps the color of a mossy forest floor. Either way it was beautiful. But my attention was drawn to the overflowing garbage can that sat underneath me. Well…that explains the smell.
Besides that outside of my bedroom window were the tops of the trees and I find myself looking forward to watching the seasons change in real time. From the bare wands of the wintry days, to the promise of spring buds and green leaves of the summertime awaiting their golden days of fall.
"Oh hell yea, this is a fucking vibe." Warm arms came around me and I was comfortably wrapped up in one of Jeffersons bear hugs. "Maybe I should've moved myself upstairs instead."
I placed my hands over his and slowly rocked us back and forth. "Damn, missed your chance to grab this super tiny not-bedroom with oh so unique trash odor." I replied sarcastically.
"Hey now, we know I'm talking about the balcony." he chuckled, continuing to sway us as if we were listening to a slow song. "I'm really happy to be taking this next step in our journey with you."
I smiled, feeling the water well up in my eyes and cleared my throat as if that would somehow suck the tears back up. "Me too. I couldn't think of anybody else I'd rather do this with."
"Well, I can think of one person." He said under his breath. Since we were so close it didn't go by unnoticed.
"I should probably start unpacking." Brushing right over his comment, I loosened his grip and sat on my bed.
"You do that, and I'll order food to go from our favorite Indian restaurant."
"Yes, let's have our new apartment smell like curried cauliflower…that I would love you to order." It would be a minimum of three days for us to get the smell but damnit it was worth it. And I guess it's better than the smell that's already in here.
"So is that a yes? Because I already texted the Big Swans and asked what they wanted."
"It's a yes." I confirmed, shooting him a large smile. He jogged down the stairs and I began to open the first box, taking out the very few outfits I had and soon my phone vibrated.
Dad (1)
We'll be there in about 30 minutes. See you soon!
Man, I haven't really seen mom and dad since we've been back from the trip. They were calling us almost everyday the first week we were in Santorini, but when they realized that we can fend for ourselves without them they let up. Mom has been warming back up to her old self and I can feel our relationship slowly mending. Still, I kept her at arms length while my relationship with dad had gotten closer than ever before.
The creaking of the steps reached my ears soon Jefferson was back upstairs, plopping himself on my bed that made a squeak. I pushed the open box to him and pulled another by me as if to signal that he should help me unpack.
"Do you know what we need?" he asked as mischief twinkled behind his eyes. Soon he was tossing items over his shoulder and small 'aha' filled them room when he found what he was looking for. Out came a small Bluetooth speaker and soon the intro to Iggy Azalea's 'Fancy' filled our apartment.
"Is this our Bitches and Bangers Playlist from freshman year?" I asked, already feeling the beat bounce my shoulders up and down. He didn't answer, just sang the lyrics while holding the biggest smile.
First things first, I'm the realest
Drop this and let the whole world feel it (let em feel it)
And I'm still in the Murda Bizness
I can hold you down, like
I'm giving lessons in physics (right)
You should want bad bitch like this,
Drop it low and pick it up just like this…
We both stood and anyone who knows me personally, or even remotely knows I can't dance. I mean I'm not horrible, on a scale from Michael Jackson to Drunk Girl At Party I fit somewhere in the middle. But even armed with this knowledge Jefferson got me to do a little jig in our in the comfort of our own apartment. We rapped like we were in our own person music video. And as Iggy's raps flowed through the apartment we were able to get through my unpacking and Jefferson even put the TV mount on the wall for me.
"Whew," he wiped his brows with the back of his hand and sighed. "That was rough."
"It was four boxes J."
"Four boxes and a TV mount." Jefferson defended.
I sat down on my now made bed and took in my room that looked more like a room. My room.
Before he could respond with some witty remark the doorbell rang, causing both of us to wince as the shrill sound echoed throughout the apartment. Quickly, I got to my feet and sprinted to the door in hopes that I would beat another sound of the doorbell. Sadly I didn't. One more time I winced and after the vibration of the high pitched ring my hand wrapped around the knob and pulled the door open.
"Hey sweetie!" Mom greeted with so much enthusiasm that I wondered what in the hell had her so happy. Her radiant thick hair had been pulled up into a ponytail with random pieces coming out, framing her cheery face while she held what looked a gift bag in her hand. Dad smiled brightly, emphasizing mom's excitement.
"Hey." I squeezed out through the hug they immediately gave me once they were inside.
"Damn do I get that kind of loving?" We untangled ourselves and took in Jefferson standing there like a child being denied his favorite toy. Mom opened up enough for him to fit in between her and I, and we stayed embraced for a good five minutes.
"Okay, enough of the heavy." Jefferson and I pulled away but mom and dad stayed glued together, his hand rubbing circles in the middle of her back. They took in our new space and I could see the look of approvement on both of their faces.
"Okay." Mom started, "Nice floor, nice brick walls, your porch has a nice view." She disconnected from dad to look out the window, "Wait, you can see the Krispy Kreme hot donut sign from your window. That's going to be a problem."
"Yea, it already is. We're on a first name basis. Leroy texts me when they're hot." Jefferson stated, seeming proud of this. I'll give it to him though, the fact that we just moved in and he's already getting donut alerts is impressive.
"Nice!" Mom remarked, "Okay let me show you your house warming gifts!"
"Gifts? As in plural." Jefferson asked, taking a seat on floor. For a moment I felt embarrassed that we didn't have any furniture yet but mom and dad didn't seem to mind. Kind of felt like Christmas with us sitting down on the concrete. Dad put the large bag in the middle of our circle and began pulling out tissue paper.
"So first, we got you both a foam mattress so you don't have to sit on the living room floor like Little Orphan Annie's." Dad started.
"Fuck yes." Jefferson replied, adding fist a few fist pumps
"A plant that even you can't kill." Mom added as she took out a little aloe.
"Is that a challenge?" I teased.
"And some of these fancy cups, so you don't have to drink out of those Solo's."
Jefferson and I smiled, leaned over and hugged them tightly. No matter how off things have been these last few months I have to stay that they still take the prize of best parents ever. "I'm going to put my little plant on my balcony." Standing up, I jetted up the stairs with mom following behind me holding my lbaby aloe. We stepped outside and she whistled at the view.
"Wow." She leaned her elbows on the balcony like she wasn't quite ready to leave. So I guess we're not leaving. I mimicked her position and we sat in silence for a moment. "How are things." Mom asked so quietly that I had to strain to hear. I cleared my throat and began a conversation that for some reason felt so awkward.
"It's going well. I have a job, a place…What more could I ask for." Moving my gaze I studied her face, unable to decipher what she's thinking.
"How are you and Regina?" Um. What? She must've seen the confusion on my face because her shoulder brushed up against mine. Mom is the one that told me not to speak with her anymore. She should know that I have no fucking clue how Regina is doing. "I know I wasn't the most supportive parent when everything hit the fan." Is this a trap? Or an olive branch?
"Um. I guess you were doing what you thought was best for me." I continued with a shrug to my shoulders.
"No honey…" she trailed off, shaking her head lightly. "I think I was doing what I thought was best for myself." Wow. Never thought I'd hear that. I placed my hand on her shoulder and gave her gentle squeeze. "So, one more time, how are you and Regina."
Pushing out a deep sigh, gravity pulled my shoulders down and my hand fell from her shoulder. "I don't know." I answered honestly. "I haven't spoken to her in a few months." The features in mom's face scrunched up with tension.
"Do you think things are done done between you?" Who knows…I don't think I've even thought that far into the future yet.
"I just wish it were simple. Like you and dad ya know, you met, fell in love, it was easy."
She chuckled lightly, straightened out her back and pulled me in. Choosing to stay I leaned further against her chest, enjoying the maternal touch I had very much missed.
"You think David is easy?" mom questioned. The amusement behind her voice was obvious.
"Well, I mean…" I tried to say something, but nothing came to mind. "I just want to meet someone that doesn't have a ton of emotional shit, the same way you and dad entered your relationship in high school."
"Honey, your father and I came with matching luggage. And then we put in work." Kissing my forehead, she drew light patterns on my arm. "It didn't just happen magically." I nodded, feeling her words resonate with me. "If you want you a happy ending then you have to make it. That shit just doesn't happen because you want it to."
Woah. Mom didn't cuss that much but when she did it sounded strange as hell.
"I love you mom."
"I love you too, sweetie."
What do I want? Do I want to be friends? Does our relationship serve me in a way that's positive. Or do I think I should want Regina back?
"Yoooo!" Jefferson called from inside the apartment, "Food is here."
I retreated from the safety of her arms and lead her back inside.
"Your dad and I can't wait to see what you do entering into this season of your life." That's mom's way of saying that she's proud of me.
"What season? Fall? Because it's hurts." We shared a chuckle at the top of the steps, watching Jefferson and dad set up the dinner trays we apparently had. Mom and I made our way downstairs, she embraced dad and planting a kiss on his lips and as I felt the small second hand embarrassment from the mass amounts of PDA they were giving us and helped Jefferson put paper plates on the trays and dish the food, I realized that I was doing.
I was making my happy ending.