By the time the sun rose, Megan made peace with her actions the night before. She'd read enough novels and heard enough Wireless serials to know the kind of mistake she made - almost made - was practically a cliche. Expected, even. Being dressed up, the romantic environment, a handsome man, and a half-bottle of champagne; it was practically a foregone conclusion she wouldn't be in her right mind.
Today felt like a 'lounge around in pyjamas' sort of day, and Megan wasn't much in the mood to defy that urge. Instead, with a bagel and cream cheese in one hand, she sat down at her kitchen table and dug out the weeks-old replies to her personal ad. She re-read every one, even poor Bentley's, eager to feel something from their words. The notion of 'possibility' was rather exciting, wasn't it?
Apparently not, she admitted to herself as she set the last one aside.
She was being unfair, though. It was probably as difficult and awkward sending a reply for them as writing the Prophet personal was for her. No doubt if she gave them a chance and actually took the step to meet them, they could make her feel the way Harry did. Something more, even! He was just- just an attractive man, that's all.
Mind made up, Megan dug through the mess of unrolled parchment and found the one she thought seemed most like a good match, sitting down to ink out a reply. His name was Duncan, and he was five years older than her. A pureblood, with a good job working for Gringotts, but what stood out the most was a single innocuous line - "I'm at an acceptable point in my career to begin a relationship and think about a family." He wanted a family, just like she did. That was the sort of foundation she could build on.
Besides, she thought as she dressed to go down to the Dragon and send her letter, it wasn't as though she had anything holding her back, right?
The full moon was only a day away, so Ruby was in a bad spot. Her skin was sallow, muscles taut, and overall she looked truly miserable. Lycanthropic transformations put enormous stress on the human body regardless of individual circumstance, but being infected at such an extremely young age made the damage far more severe for the little girl.
"It hurts."
"I know, sweetie, I know. But it'll be over after tomorrow, won't it?" For one month, at least, and Megan knew Ruby would spend several days recovering from tomorrow's transformation. "Here, I sliced the apple just the way you like it. You need your strength."
Ruby chewed on a piece of fruit, looking past her at the other patients dressed up in the costumes Megan brought, play-acting 'wizards and warlocks'. "I wish I wasn't this way."
"I know. If I could make you better, I would."
"I hate it," she continued, her voice gaining strength as she vented. "I know why I have to go there, but it's scary, and I'm all alone, and it hurts so much…"
Megan shushed her, holding the child close and gently rocking her as she wept. She'd inquired once about how St. Mungo's managed her transformations. With the rash of werewolf infections that came with the war, the hospital built a 'managed care' addition in one of the sub-basements for when patients in residence transformed. That sounded nice, but in actuality it was a series of reinforced iron cages constructed in the furnace room. For safety purposes, on the day of a full moon any infected patient would be locked inside immediately after teatime, not to be released until dawn the next day.
On a strictly unemotional level, Megan could understand. Werewolves were feared for a reason, and were indeed fearsome. But the thought of this broken child, left in a dark utility room, locked in a cage for hours with no one around…
It wasn't right.
"If Healer Stimpson agrees, would you like me to stay with you? At least until you- until-" She couldn't get the word 'transform' out. It felt too clinical, too cold.
Ruby sniffed, wiping away her tears. "You'd do that?"
"I don't know if I'm allowed, but I don't want you to be alone. Let me go find her, and I'll ask, okay?"
Extricating herself from the child's bedside, Megan left the ward to seek out her friend. She found her on the fifth floor, at the hospital's canteen having lunch.
"Have you got a minute?"
"Of course! Join me, this sandwich is too much for one person."
She took a seat across from the healer but politely declined the offer of food. "I was thinking about Ruby Winfield. It's a full moon tomorrow." Patricia nodded for her to go on, her mouth full. "Is there any way I could stay with her down there?"
Patricia choked on her bite, coughing violently for several seconds. "You want- you're not serious?"
"Of course I am."
"Have you ever seen a werewolf transform with your own eyes?"
"I know it's unpleasant, but-"
"'Unpleasant' is such a gross understatement. I don't even know where to start," Patricia said, setting her sandwich down. "Especially for someone Ruby's size, it isn't over in a flash. There's no such thing as a 'baby' werewolf, she grows to full size and shrinks back again when it's over. This isn't like an animagus shifting forms. You can see the bones shifting around under her skin. You'd be able to hear them, too, except the screaming is nonstop. The fur is the last change, which means for several minutes she'll be nothing but a misshapen and grotesque mass of flesh. It's horrifying."
"That may be," Megan began, feeling a pool of dread start to settle in her gut, "but I told her-"
"-Once the transformation is complete, until it reverses at dawn, there's nothing left of her," Patricia continued, heedless of her interruption. "Do you know most of the injuries we have to treat the next day are self-inflicted? When she's transformed, she'll throw herself against the cage. She'll break her teeth biting at the bars, claw at the cage until her hands and feet are a bloody mess. The state she's in when we release her… it's awful, Megan. Don't put yourself through that. You can't help her."
"I have to. I promised her I would, and unless you can cite a rule that forbids it, I will." Despite her words, her voice quavered and her breath was shaky. "Can't something be done to make it easier for her? Better accommodations, or… or… I don't know! Something!"
"The transformation room is the better accommodation. The hospital used to refuse to treat werewolves. It's why they had colonies on the edge of society. Ten years ago, Ruby wouldn't have survived her first transformation. But with so many turned during the war, and the new guard at the Ministry passing reforms, Ruby might even be able to attend Hogwarts. It's getting better."
'Better' in this case was still woefully inadequate. "Do you think there'll ever be a cure?"
Patricia picked at her sandwich for a moment before pushing it away. Apparently their discussion had spoiled her appetite. "There's the wolfsbane potion. When taken, the transformation is solely physical and the werewolf retains all their mental faculties. But it's horribly expensive."
Neither said anything for a few moments, the weight of this conversation smothering any further talk. When Patricia spoke again, it was about something entirely different. "Have a good time at the wedding?"
Somewhat surprised at the topic change, Megan nodded dumbly. Had Oliver told her what he saw outside the greenhouse? 'Then again, what was there really to see?' she thought bitterly. "It was lovely."
"I tried to catch up with you during the reception. I've got news that will cheer you up."
After hearing what was in store for Ruby tomorrow night in vivid detail, that seemed unlikely. "What is it?"
"Director Fulbright came by the ward last week to talk to me."
"Oh? Are you in line for a promotion?"
Patricia laughed. "No, you silly witch! To talk to me about you."
Megan sat straight up, suddenly intensely alert. "Really?"
"You know I wouldn't joke about something like this. Naturally, I told her how incredible you are. I'd expect to hear something from them soon. Congratulations!"
A surge of something unfamiliar, almost foreign ran from her head to her toes, and it took Megan a second to recognise it as pride. She was really going to be a healer!
True to Patricia's word, the very next day she received an owl bearing a request for an interview on Wednesday. With a date on Tuesday, an interview on Wednesday, it was shaping up to be her best week since leaving Holyhead!
That positive feeling, though, didn't last beyond Monday. Her night with Ruby was every bit as traumatising as Patricia promised it would be. By the time the sun rose and the child reverted back to normal, Megan was disconsolate. Healers quickly took her away to treat the injuries Ruby had accrued over the night, leaving Megan to try to somehow salvage any scrap of positivity left in her soul after seeing the little girl suffer in such a manner.
"Take a seat," he said, sliding into his own chair.
"Oh, we'll be dining here?" When he'd asked to meet at the Leaky Cauldron, she'd thought it was just a convenient starting point before setting off for their real destination. Old Tom was a sweet fellow, but not much of a chef.
"Best bargain in Diagon. With this location, Tom should be charging triple what he does, but the man won't listen to reason."
Megan gave her best smile, feeling rather overdressed for the occasion. She wore a light pink, mandarin collared button down shirt - with the top two buttons strategically undone - over a smart pencil skirt. Still, for all she stood out in the casual environs of the Leaky, at least Duncan seemed to appreciate her outfit, judging by the way he leaned forward to peer at her cleavage.
"It sounds like you have an eye for business. You mentioned in your letter that your career at Gringotts is going well?"
The elderly barkeep himself made his way over before he could respond, greeting Duncan with a slap on the back. "Great to see you, what'll it be tonight?"
"We'll start with a round of ale. The lady will have the soup and salad, and I'll have the steak and kidney pie."
"I'd rather a glass of wine," she said, before Tom could head back to the bar.
"The ale will be fine, thanks, Tom," Duncan said. "It's a better choice, this new barrel is top-notch."
He sounded very in the know, so she gave in to his wishes. "Do you come here often?"
"I cleaned up his books, free of charge, earlier this year. First round's been free ever since!"
That was charitable, in a certain way. Tom was getting up there, bookkeeping must have been a chore for the elderly man. "That's very kind of you."
He waved away the compliment. "You were asking about my work. I knew that would get a response when I included it in my reply. I recently moved up to senior accountant, and if I play my cards right, I'll get another bump to accounting supervisor within five years."
"That's really impressive!" Wasn't it? Megan couldn't be certain, but he seemed proud of the accomplishment.
"Say what you like about their attitude, but the gobs recognise talent when they see it." Tom arrived with their ale, and Megan used the interruption to fasten the buttons on her shirt all the way up. "What do you do?"
"I'm interviewing for the healing apprentice program at St. Mungo's this week," she said. Better to avoid any mention of Holyhead - Duncan didn't seem like the sporting type, but she'd rather not have the conversation derailed by talk of quidditch.
"So you're not working? Do you have family money?"
"I, uh, I have some savings. I get by."
Duncan took a long sip, letting out a sigh of satisfaction before wiping the foam from his lips with a napkin. That was nice; good manners were an attractive trait. "Where are you living? A family home?"
"No, both my parents passed away. I have a flat near Swansea."
"Wales? Guess those savings must be stretching thin if you had to move all the way out there!" The way she bristled at his comment must have been too obvious, because he quickly added, "That's okay, though. Myself, I've been looking at purchasing an estate. Something big and rambling."
At least he was meeting her eyes, now. Tom appeared with their meals, and Megan listened to him talk about his family and their connections while she picked at her salad.
She probably should have rescheduled this date. Being up all night with Ruby took its toll, and she was most assuredly still out of sorts and upset over what she'd seen in that sub-basement. That must be why she was so irritable with Duncan. She probably wasn't making a very good impression.
Resolved to put in more effort, Megan brought up his letter once more, determined to be more engaged in the conversation. "Speaking of family, you mentioned it was something you were looking forward to. Do you want many children?"
"Just one, I think. A son. Do you like kids?"
She nodded. "Very much. I volunteer at the children's ward at St. Mungo's every week. It's wonderful."
He reared back in his seat. "You can't, you know, catch anything from them, can you?"
"No." Megan took another bite to keep from pursing her lips in disapproval.
Finishing his ale, Duncan signalled Tom for another. "Who do you think's going to take the League championship this year? I know Puddlemere's been on top of the standings all season, but if you ask me, Ballycastle's built to take them down."
"I haven't really been following it."
"Your team got knocked out early, eh?" She didn't reply, and mercifully the conversation moved to other topics.
The night wore on, and a few more mugs of ale improved Megan's mood. Duncan wasn't so bad, she thought to herself as he settled their tab. He was probably just nervous, the same as her. His edges would likely smooth over the more comfortable they got with each other.
"Can I walk you out?" He held his hand to help her out of her seat. Very gentlemanly, she thought as she rose on unsteady legs.
"I'm travelling by Floo, actually."
"Then you can walk me out."
Megan dutifully accompanied him outside the tavern. "This was a good night," he said, turning to face her. She knew what was coming next. He took hold of her upper arms, lowered his head and kissed her. It wasn't a friendly peck, instead stretching on for several seconds.
It was- she felt… not a thing. Not even the warmth of the ale was able to jumpstart any feeling from his embrace.
"Since you're not working, why don't you come by the bank tomorrow? I'll take you out for lunch."
"I have my interview at St. Mungo's."
"Oh, right. Well, why don't you give me your Floo address? I'll call you and we can set up another dinner."
"My flat's not connected to the Floo."
A look resembling pity crossed Duncan's features, and he released her. "Ah. Well, I'll owl you, yea? Thanks, this was a good time."
"Yea. Goodnight," she muttered, and he disapparated with a crack!
It was all she could do to not scream in frustration. Why, oh why was she being like this? He could give her the life she wanted, he wanted the same things she did! Duncan was interested, he was available!
So why did she want to push him away the moment his lips approached her own?
Unbidden, the image of green eyes, darkened with lust, popped into her mind. In her alcohol-fueled state, a wave of raw need washed over her at just the thought of almost kissing Harry outside the greenhouse. Megan rubbed her thighs together, remembering the feel of his shoulders beneath her hands as they danced, the way his fingers dug into her hips possessively.
Damn him. And damn her, for wanting him so much.
"The Director will see you now."
Megan smoothed her robes and followed the secretary out of the waiting area. For being in charge of the largest hospital in Magical Britain, Gertrude Fulbright's office was far from flashy, almost spartan in its appearance. The woman herself was- well, there was no other word, she was old, but spritely and energetic in manner.
"Megan Jones, how wonderful to put a face to the name! Take a seat, if you would."
"It's a pleasure to meet you, Director."
"I personally reviewed your application. Three years with the Harpies, I see. Sports medicine is demanding, very wand-intensive work. I don't suppose you find much time for brewing, then?"
"Er, no, I don't." And she'd scored an Acceptable on her OWL, locking her out of NEWT Potions.
"That's not a disqualifier, but unlike trainers, healers rely more heavily on potions than spells." Gertrude closed the open folder she'd been looking at and smiled at her. "It also helps that you come so highly recommended."
"Mr. Barker was very kind," she agreed, but Gertrude shook her head.
"I was referring to Andromeda Tonks. She roamed these halls for more than a quarter-century, you know. When Andi says you've got what it takes to be a healer, we pay attention."
Andromeda wrote her a letter of recommendation? "I- well, that's very flattering."
"Yes, Andi's a dear. It's just awful the way things have gone for her." 'What? What things?' "But I hope you'll be able to carry on her legacy."
Megan's worry came to a stuttering halt. "You mean…?"
"We'd love to admit you-" 'Yes!' "-but the timing is something of an issue."
Her arms, half-raised in an apparently premature celebration, slowly lowered. "How do you mean, ma'am?"
"Well, I'm not sure if you remember from your previous application, but our apprenticeships are allocated on the first of every August. I normally wouldn't make this exception, but for an applicant such as yourself, I'd like to invite you to join the program immediately."
"That's wonderful! I accept!"
Gertrude held up a hand to temper her excitement. "There's a catch, unfortunately. Because our funding has already been doled out, we wouldn't be able to offer you a stipend. And with how demanding the training is for apprentices, I'm afraid outside work simply isn't feasible."
Her anticipation came crashing down around her. Megan had her severance from the Harpies, and a tidy amount of gold tucked away in her vault, but not enough to live off of for a year. "I- I see."
Gertrude must have read the clear disappointment written all over her face. "Can your family offer any assistance? I'm sure that your aunt-"
"No. That's not an option," she said firmly.
After a moment, the Director nodded. "Very well. I do sincerely hope that you'll join us next fall, then. I can guarantee you acceptance and the full stipend at that time, should you find yourself available."
Megan cleared her throat, twice, before she could manage a reply through her disappointment. "Thank you very much. I appreciate you meeting with me."
She left the office and wandered the corridors of the hospital, trying in vain to grasp at the bright side. All she had to do, after all, was wait less than a year and she'd be able to work here. It was still an accomplishment! She had no reason to hang her head!
Except she still needed to find another job in the meantime. What was she going to do?
There'd be time enough to consider that problem, but for now, she should really tell Patricia how the interview went. She looked around, trying to figure out where she'd ended up; the administrative level was on the sixth floor, and this didn't look like the canteen on the fifth. Megan wandered from room to room, searching out a healer or staff member to get directions to the nearest staircase.
The third room she peeked into, though, ended her search. "Andromeda?"
Lying in bed, a row of empty potions vials lined up on a tray next to her, the woman still somehow managed to make a hospital gown look regal and dignified. "Hello, dear. Please, come in. How did your interview go?"
"What are you doing here? What's wrong?"
"I'm fine, it's just as I said before, a touch of-"
"Ague doesn't linger in this way, and there's a cure. What's going on?"
Andromeda sighed, her expression sagging into a pained grimace. "I really did come down with ague, but I didn't feel the need to come here. I was a healer for a rather long time, you know. I thought myself more than capable of brewing the potion to resolve the issue on my own."
Megan struggled to recall the method of preparing the cure, but came up with nothing. "So what happened?"
"I must have added too much powdered ashwinder egg." She looked down at her hands, and Megan's gaze followed. The trembling was much more apparent than it had been when they'd last met. "It was probably the arthritis. My hands aren't as steady as they once were, but… I guess it was pride. It's hard to admit I'm not capable of everything I used to be."
Taking a seat on the bed, Megan reached out and held Andromeda's hands in her own. "How long will it take before you've recovered?"
The older woman's breath hitched, and she shook her head. "The ashwinder is a magical creature; too much of their essence attacks a wizard or witch's magic."
"But- they can heal you, can't they?" Andromeda didn't respond, and Megan tightened her grip on her hands. "Can't they?"
"I think my daughter would have liked you. If she were a little younger, or if you were a little older you two might have been friends."
"Andromeda-"
"You're about as opposite as can be from the way Nymphadora was, but you share her unwillingness to compromise on what you want out of life. Unlike my daughter, though, it's like you don't believe you deserve to succeed."
"Andi, please-"
"That's why I met with old Gertie and told her about you. You're going to be a fantastic healer, Megan. You care too much, it won't be just a job for you. Don't ever lose that, don't let the weight of the world steal away your ability to love with every ounce of your being." Andromeda squeezed Megan's hands, her grip nowhere near as firm, and fell silent.
"You're not going to make it, are you?"
"No, I'm not."
Megan closed her eyes, trying to squeeze away the tears she felt prickling behind her eyelids. "How much longer do you have?"
"A week, maybe two. It's why I've been trying to get Harry used to caring for Teddy; he'll be the only one the boy has soon enough."
'Teddy!' "Where is he?"
"I had Kreacher, Harry's elf, drop him off with his godfather before I came here. Harry's team is preparing for the postseason, so they're likely at Puddlemere's stadium in Dorset."
Images of her own past, memories of her alone and ignored on the sideline of Holyhead's pitch rose to the forefront of Megan's mind, but with Teddy transplanted into them instead of herself. 'No!' She wouldn't let Harry do the same thing Gwenog did to her!
"I- Teddy can't, he's- I have to go," she said, stumbling over the words in her urgent desire to save the little boy from the life she'd lived.
Andromeda gave a wan smile. "The address is 'Downton Piddle'."
Megan - already halfway to the door - paused and looked back. "I'll see you again soon. I promise." And then she was off like a shot, running for the hospital's public Floo connection.
The fireplace spat her out into a comfortable lounge-like area. The address Andromeda gave her must be one for players and staff rather than visitors, for there was no one in place to question her or her business in the stadium.
She rushed out of the room, following the arrows painted on the walls, sprinting for the pitch as fast as she could. Any thought of what she would do when she found it hadn't yet made its way into her head. Megan was, instead, overwhelmed with a deluge of emotion she'd thought long-repressed, the feelings cascading over her. Loneliness, despair, sadness; the inability to understand why Gwenog couldn't love her, wishing for something that never came over and over as she sat waiting, watching from the sideline, wondering what she did wrong that made her aunt care so little, desperately trying to be good, to earn the affection she never truly believed she deserved-
Even with the tears running down her face, Megan managed to find the pitch. The clean scent of freshly-cut grass, so familiar it ached, wafted through the air.
"MAY-GUN!"
Her vision might be blurry, but her hearing was fine, and the acute need she felt eased its grip at the little boy's greeting. "It's okay, sweetheart, I'm here now." His short legs weren't carrying him to her quickly enough, so Megan met him halfway, lifting him into her arms and squeezing him tightly to her body. "You're alright, you're not alone anymore."
"He wasn't alone at all," a familiar voice drily remarked.
"Harry?" And sure enough, there he was, seated cross-legged against the wall of the stadium, a binder full of parchment on his lap. "What are you- I thought-"
"Teddy was having a hard time sitting still during the team meeting, so we came out for him to get some fresh air while I went over the playbook. What are you doing here?"
She was still breathing heavily from her furious rescue - one that turned out to be unnecessary - so it took Megan a moment to gather herself and respond, ignoring his question when she finally did. "A quidditch pitch is no place for a child."
He ran a hand through his hair and let out an irritated grunt. "Yea, well, Andi didn't exactly give me a choice. Kreacher just dropped him off two hours ago, with a note saying there was an emergency at St. Mungo's."
"You mean- you don't know why she's in the hospital?"
The binder fell to the ground, scattering the parchment all over the grass as Harry leapt to his feet. "Andromeda's in the hospital?"
"What's a hospital? Why's Gran there?" Teddy asked, still wrapped up in Megan's arms.
Harry looked… he looked frantic, worry and concern radiating off of him. Andromeda's plan, her goal of easing him into parenthood wasn't ready. Harry wasn't ready, not to care for Teddy full-time, alone. And yea, maybe he didn't leave his godson alone this time, but what would happen to the boy during his practices? Or worse, his games?
Pieces of parchment bearing intricate diagrams of game tactics floated through the air, carried along by autumn breeze.
"Harry, wait." He looked like he was preparing to leave for St. Mungo's, and she needed to say this now.
"Look, I don't mean to be rude, but I have to-"
"Do you have someone who can watch Teddy?" He aimed a confused glare at her, then dropped his gaze to the boy she still held. "Someone you trust?"
"I- what's going on? What do you know?"
He was too upset right now, it wasn't the time. "It's nothing, just go. I'll take Teddy back to your house."
"Thanks, Megan. I'll be back as soon as I can."
Giving Teddy one last squeeze, she set him down on the grass. Before she could even stand up straight, though, he was tugging at her skirt. "Lolli?" She dug into her purse, pulling out the candy and unwrapping it, smoothing over the boy's unruly hair as he happily sucked on the treat.
Right then, Megan knew she'd found what she'd be doing for the next year, until she could start at St. Mungo's. She wasn't going to let Teddy go through what she did. All she had to do was convince Harry, but she knew Andromeda would support her proposal.
"How would you like to go to the park? I know one with a really big slide."
"Okay!"
She took hold of Teddy's tiny hand, walking alongside him back into the stadium, towards the Floo. She wouldn't let him go through what she did.
Not when Megan was there, ready and willing, to take care of him.
A/N: Snow day update!
I've been slacking on responding to the reviews, but I will try to remedy that tomorrow. For today, I've got a lot of shoveling to do. Sigh.
I have to say, I feel like I'm writing a pretty darn good romance with this fic :D
Fic rec: "Misery Loves Company", by WriteShop. It's a Harry/Flora Carrow fic that just completed, and oh my gosh, I love it. There's this one particular scene that choked me up, where Flora - who's consistently derided as unattractive in the fic - sits in a bathroom with a fashion magazine and tries to look like one of the models. Heartbreaking. It's like nothing you've read before.
Okay, time to clear a path to take my doggo out. Bundle up out there, and as always,
Stay safe, healthy, and happy! ~Frickles