Inside him, there's longing
This girl's an open page
Book marking, she's so close now
This girl is half his age
"Now stir in the rest of this mixture and set it aside."
"So this is how you make a salve to heal minor cuts and bruises?"
"I wouldn't be called a doctor if I didn't know how to make salves."
Hotaru was at Lady Tamayo's place once more, learning and studying under the demon doctor. Ever since that faithful day, once a month Hotaru came to visit and perfect her medicinal prowess. Since her powers were linked with poison and decaying, she thought learning how to heal people would allow her to be more useful for battle. This came especially to no surprise when training with Gyutaro. Her elder brother enjoyed training with her, but got himself hurt in the process. It was a good thing they were both immune to poison.
Tamayo enjoyed the time she spent with her apprentice. A part of her realized how important it was to make sure that she taught her the trade, but the anger inside of her knew this was Muzan's child. It took a lot of willpower to not to lash out at her, but then she saw her old friend in her eyes. A friend she betrayed all those years ago...
"Do you think your mother will ever forgive me?"
"Why? What happened between the two of you? She never told us why."
"She didn't tell you?"
"I barely knew you existed had it not been for father cursing your name in front of me. I don't think mother likes talking about her personal life. We don't even know about her true family."
Suddenly, Hotaru was swept up in a strange feeling as Tamayo wrapped her arms around her. The smell of flowers and medicinal herbs wafted into her nose. Her mother had the scent of earth lingering on her and Bashira usually smelled of cinnamon. Her eyes closed with a warmth that only her mother could provide. All those years of hearing about how terrible Tamayo was were cast out the window.
If only her own mother could be as understanding like Tamayo. Hotaru knew what it felt like to be raised by one parent, but that parent had a sick and twisted mind. Her only female figure before her teacher was a man hating woman with a pension for perfectionism. A deeper feeling of anger bubbled within her when she realized that she had no good memories of her own mother. Was she not good enough to capture her attention? Was she not strong enough to protect her family? Why hadn't her mother ever told her that she was proud of her?
Too bad Yushiro ruined the moment.
"TAKE YOUR HANDS OFF HER!"
"MAKE ME, YOU BASTARD!"
"WHY YOU LITTLE-!"
"Will you two stop it!?"
"Oh my, your garden is coming out quite nicely."
"Arigato Kanae-oneesan!"
For weeks now, Fuyuka has been sneaking out of the house and meeting up with Kanae. She had grown attached to the older woman as if she were her own sister. Kanae would bring some tea and dango to share with the girl, seeing her own sister in her eyes. Since they met up at the same place, they decided to create a garden in the midst of the woods. The scent of wisteria lifted into the air, in which would've sent the most simplest of demons to the other side. However, the more Fuyuka planted them, the more immune she was.
This was pleasant given her circumstances. How she longed for her mother and sister to do tasks like this with her. Every time she went to confront her mother and ask her to spend time, she was always away with another sibling or dealing with some moons. Fuyuka noticed a flicker of something in her eyes when she stared at her, almost like regret or sadness. Had she done something wrong?
Hotaru was worse than that. She would flat out ignore her and put her favor into Akasei more. No matter how much she tried gaining her sister's favor, it paled in comparison towards the love she gave to Akasei or Rui. Whenever she asked her sister the reason why she treats her that way, her sister would brush her off.
"It's not fair..." Fuyuka's mood soured as she clenched her fist. "It's not fair Kanae-oneesan that my own mother and sister won't do these things with me. I've seen my mother's garden, I can do what she does. The other people in town acknowledge my loving personality. My sister hates my guts and I don't know why! Am I just that unlovable that my own mother doesn't want me? Should I just...disappear?"
Kanae went to reply, but saw tears like diamonds streaking down her face. This poor girl was so lonely. From what she'd learned from visiting her, the home life she lived was isolated from others. A doting father who puts protection over parental guidance, an absentee mother, a sister who didn't enjoy her existence, a baby brother, and two possible other siblings who come to visit her, but work far away.
"Oh Fuyuka...you are not unlovable. Anyone who tells you this should hang themselves because I know you are better than that! You are curious, smart, and one of the cutest little girls I have ever come to know and love. What you need to do is get your family under one roof, perhaps make a dinner, and have them listen to your grievances. If they won't listen, make them listen! Your thoughts matter just as much as theirs. No child should ever feel neglected!"
For a moment, Fuyuka was at a loss for words. No person had ever told her this before. The sincerity in the woman's voice made her feel warm inside. Slowly, Fuyuka wrapped her arms around her friend and gave a good squeeze. It felt nice to have someone to relate to and to listen to her thoughts. Feeling her fingers run through her silvery locks felt soothing as more tears came out her eyes. Kanae said nothing, but allowed her to release all the pent up stress and sorrow that were weighing her down. Secretly she wanted to find her mother and tell her off for avoiding her child.
Nevertheless, she promised herself that she would be there for Fuyuka like she was for Shinobu.
Maybe the two of them should meet one day.
"Please be my wives!"
"For the last time, we said no!"
Annoyance, that's what Sorashi thought about Tengen Uzui. A thickheaded, muscle bound, perverted little snot who could not take no for an answer. After performing for food and money, he had stuck himself upon her and Bashira constantly asking for them to be his wives. The nerve of this human to think he can just ask them to marry him when she's married and Bashira liked women! Not only that, but he kept bragging about himself and telling them about his accomplishments in order to make a good impression.
And if he says the word 'flamboyant' one more time...
The two of them were trying to enjoy their dinner (ramen noodles with some blood pills mixed in for digestion) when he plopped himself down and ate with them. He was prodding them for answers to his various questions and marriage proposals.
"YOUNG MAN!" Bashira finally snapped, before composing herself. "When a lady says no, she means no! If you cannot get that through that thick skull of yours, then I shall be inclined to pound it in!"
Tengen paused before grinning widely. "So there's a chance that you'll say yes then?"
"GAH!"
Sorashi had to hold her friend back before she clawed or snapped his neck. It took all her willpower to keep her darker thoughts in check before she unleashed hell upon the annoyance herself. For once, she wished she could call Nakime to get them out. Now she couldn't even enjoy her meal with the silence or light chatter from Bashira. Slurping her noodles, her eyes darted as Tengen watched her attentively.
"May I ask why you don't want to marry me? Surely a God among men like myself would've attracted you? I can provide for you, make sure you are well taken care of, and I'll be loyal!"
Sorashi placed a hand over Bashira's mouth before she could snap again. "Well, young man, I am already married to my lovely husband while Bashira prefers the company of females over males. Now I am trying to enjoy my meal in peace please."
"If you're married, then where is your ring? I see nothing on that hand." Tengen's hand shot out and held up her hand. "From the looks of things, either you aren't in a happy marriage or you aren't being properly satisfied."
That's what's called "breaking the straw on the camel's back".
Sorashi blushed red with fury and embarrassment before grabbing Bashira's hand and running out of the town. Her anger was causing her adrenaline to kick up and her mind to cloud. How dare this punk accuse her of being in an unhappy marriage! She loved Muzan, no matter how cowardly and despicable he acted around others. His power protected her, she protected him, and they loved each other very much! He would've not saved her life all those years ago if he hated her. Sorashi was certain that no matter what happened in her life, she would never run out on him.
And yet...
Didn't we used to run away like this in the past? We may call him a coward, but don't we too have commitment issues? The second he leaves or gets mad at you, we ran away. When we got out of the coma, we stayed away from the house and the children. Why do we keep leaving others behind? Why are we constantly running away from life? Even when we were alive, we tried to run away from aunt and uncle to prove ourselves and speak with Muzan. What's wrong with the place we live? Didn't you want to create a kingdom that reigns forever? Didn't we promise to stay with our husband and not give our body to other people? We were raped in our comatose state, the friends we thought we could trust betrayed us, and then there's the way we treated our children or lack thereof.
Sorashi, have we really taken time to heal our mental scars?
Her body slowed down, making her fall to her knees. Tears streamed down her face as she sunk down in the long grass. The moon reflected off the river they had stopped at. Bashira struggled to catch her breath before seeing her friend crying by the river. Hesitating, the woman patted her back and rubbed circles in a gentle motion.
"What's wrong Sorashi? Why are you crying?"
"I'm a terrible person! I just keep running from my problems and thinking they'll be solved if I wasn't there! I wanted to change the world for the better, but I just made things worse! I never made amends with Tamayo, I never really got to say goodbye to my family, I keep leaving Muzan for other men, and my children have never known the love of a mother!"
Her hands trembled as she clutched the side of her head as sobs racked her entire body.
"The worse part about this is that I know this and won't do anything about it! It's like I'm scared to see what happens when I acknowledge the fact that I've essentially manipulated everyone in my life. I wouldn't even be mad if they curse me, spit on me, or disintegrate me for my behavior. Death would just be running away again. What happened to the Sorashi that wasn't so scared to face her problems and take things head on? I'm such an idiot..."
Rustling in the grass startled her from her tirade. Standing behind them was Tengen whose face was put in a frown. Bashira wanted to hiss at him for interrupting their moment, but Sorashi held up her hand. Her green eyes scanned his face for any sort of the annoyance that she had come to know him by.
"What do you want Tengen? Haven't you bothered me enough?" Sniffling, she wiped her nose with the sleeve of her clothing. "For the last time, I refuse-"
"I apologize."
"W-W-What?"
"I said I apologize for pestering you and Bashira. You two just seem like some strong, independent women that I was enamored. Be that as it may, I failed to recognize your feelings in the matter. It sounds like you have a lot going on in that brilliant mind of yours." He rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess I don't have to ask you what's going on, but I do hope you find the help you need. Or at least fix any mistakes that have been plaguing your mind."
For the first time in a long while, Sorashi stared at this human male with a sense of admiration and small speck of respect. Not many prideful males like him were able to admit their own faults while giving a side of comfort to her. It made him a bit more admirable to her. Now she hoped he did find a wife or two to give him the same love that she had come to know in that small moment.
Standing up, she gave a small bow towards him. "Tengen-san, I do hope that our paths cross once more in the near future. Hopefully then you will be happily married to a lady that treats you right."
"Oh I will! Is there no way to change your mind flamboyantly?"
"Don't push your luck sir."
"Thought I'd still try. Would you like me to escort you home?"
Sorashi shook her head, staring at the stars above. "I have a feeling that I know the way home by heart. I just hope that everyone I love will be there to greet me."
No words were spoken for the rest of the trip home as Sorashi made her way to the Infinity Castle. Bashira had left for her home and promised to visit her later. The dark skinned woman stood outside the door with a wistful expression in her eyes. This was the home he had built for her, granting her access into his life. This was the home that was to raise her children and bring about the next generation of demons. How horrible the outcome made it seem.
It was time to fix her mistakes. Time to confront them head on.
"Mama?"
A small voice came from behind her, making her breath hitch slightly. Standing there, her eyes full of curiosity and what appeared to be pain was Fuyuka. While technically not Muzan's child, she had more noticeable features that acquainted towards being her child. The child stood there as if expecting to be ignored once more or to watch her mother run away like usual.
What shocked her was Sorashi leaning down and giving her a tight hug.
"Fuyuka...my daughter...I am so sorry for neglecting you. I was scared to approve of you being my own child after what your father did to me. It was unfair of me to treat you like you never existed when I know you do. I hope you can forgive me eventually."
So this was what it was like receiving a real hug from your biological mother.
It felt nice.
Were these tears running down her face of joy or sorrow?
"M-M-M-MAMA! YOU FINALLY SEE ME!" Fuyuka cried out in happiness, letting the tears flow down like rivers. "I LOVE YOU MAMA! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!"
"And I too..." Sorashi gave a kiss on her forehead, hugging her more. "I love you too."
Down the pathway, Hotaru walked with her bag over her shoulder. It was always nice to come home after a long day of learning medicine with her sensei. What surprised her immensely was the sight of her mother and that abomination of a sister hugging and crying at the door. A surge of envy came over her as she ran forward and stopped in front of them.
"Why..." She shook with rage, hands clenched so hard that it bled. "Why are you hugging her? I thought you didn't like her like me. I thought you disowned her for being from that man!"
Sorashi looked up with shock. "Hotaru, how could you talk about your little sister like that?"
"SHE'S NOT MY SISTER! STOP SAYING THAT ABOUT HER! THAT SPAWN ISN'T EVEN PART OF OUR LINEAGE! ALL SHE IS IS A REMINDER THAT I HAD TO WITNESS MY MOTHER GET METHAPHORIACALLY RAPED BY THAT WRETCH OF A DEMON! EVERYTHING SHE IS, EVERYTHING SHE REPRESENTS JUST REMINDS ME HOW MUCH I HATE WHAT HE DID TO YOU! NOW I SEE YOU HUGGING HER AND LOVING HER AND FOR WHAT? TO BE A MOTHER THAT SHE NEVER HAD? WHAT ABOUT YOUR ACTUAL DAUGHTER, ME? AM I STILL NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU THAT YOU GO BACK TO THE HELLION BEFORE ME?"
All the anger she had been keeping inside her body for all these years finally made itself known. As she ranted, a miasma of pure poison discharged from her body and killed the surrounding fauna. Her bag had been dropped in the process. Fuyuka shook with fear at the hatred coming from her sister's eyes. Hotaru started laughing psychotically, her fingernails getting longer and dripping with more poison.
"It would be better if she were dead! Then me and Akasei would be your true children and you'll finally give me the love that I deserve! Yes...it would be better to kill the nuisance than deal with her!" She leapt in the air, aiming her nails at Fuyuka's eyes. "STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MY MOTHER!"
It was like the world had slowed down. The horror that crept down her spine made Sorashi realize the ugly truth behind it all.
Not only did she waited too long to do this, but her children were essentially scarred from her mistakes.
What have I done...?
A house divided cannot stand.
However, the beings within the house are just as broken.
The one we hate turned to love.
The one we love turned to hate.
And all of this because someone ran away from change.
What a horrible mess this is.
I don't know about you, but this chapter was physically and mentally draining to write. Conveying so many emotions can do that to you. The funniest part about all this is that this was all planned from the start. You start seeing certain characters in different lights in the chapter. Next time we get some family therapy and air out the dirty laundry that everyone's been keeping.
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