The Denali were visiting.
And while Jasper had assured Carlisle it was fine, and even though Kate hadn't spared him a single glance, he had been too overwhelmed by their presence.
Thus, he ended up hiding in the one place he knew no one would ever think to look.
Rosalie's bedroom.
Being in the same space as Kate had kept him constantly on edge; all he could do was remember her lust and her touching his face. It made his throat close up and his chest constrict in panic. He knew he was being oversensitive, but he couldn't help it.
So he hid.
He wasn't sure how long he sat there in the corner of Rosalie's closet furthest from the door, but the sudden sound of the bedroom's door opening made him flinch as pure, unadulterated fear exploded in his chest at the idea that she may have found him. He wanted nothing more than to be left alone right now. But she found him.
And he wouldn't be able to outrun her or even make it out of the closet without breaking something or hurting her, and if he did either of those, Carlisle and Rosalie would be mad at him.
He curled in on himself as the footsteps drew closer, panic flooding him. She was gonna catch him this time, and she was gonna rub all that lust over him again until he was drowning in it and was forced to do things he didn't want to do, things he would hate later, and then- and then Alice would hate him.
His breath hitched, and the steps halted. They turned in his direction , and he couldn't help but tense further, until his muscles felt like they could snap at any given moment.
The door opened, and he shrank back against the wall, hoping to not be seen. Hoping that if he couldn't see her, then she couldn't see him either. He could almost feel tears prickling at the corner of his eyes as breathing started to seem like the hardest task he had ever faced despite the fact that he didn't even need to breathe.
It was crushing him.
Making his chest hurt and his gift lash out. She was here. Here . And he couldn't get out. She was here, and he couldn't get out . He wanted her out. Away. Out. He wanted her gone, and he wanted her as far from him as possible, but she was so close, and God his useless lungs were gonna burst and suffocate him.
He wanted Alice. Carlisle. Esme. Rosalie. Anyone .
Because the little peace he had gained after so long was gonna be destroyed without mercy, and he wasn't strong enough to build any more walls around his heart.
He couldn't do this.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rosalie was starting to get bored and, considering no one was paying her any attention, she decided no one would notice if she was to disappear. She knew Carlisle wouldn't be happy, but, God, she couldn't stand this anymore.
Thus, she left and went to her room.
The second she closed the door she noticed an out of place, though familiar, scent.
She looked around, searching for something Emmett may have brought in, but was unable to find anything.
Then, a sound came from the closet.
Her eyes narrowed. God, if Emmett hid another raccoon in her closet, she was going to kill him.
Still.
As she opened the door, a sudden wave of fear hit her. Such a deep, intense fear that it felt as if she had been punched straight through her chest. It leapt from the closet and strangled her like a vile snake of absolute despair and horror.
It slammed into her without mercy, and suddenly she was human again on that dark street with hands all over her, touching her, as the scent of alcohol washed over her as they laughed, making her panic until she could no longer remember how to breathe. With such panic blaring at her, accompanied by intense pain and overwhelming weakness, it took every bit of her will to fight and ground it to dust.
It took her longer than she was willing to admit to realize the source of these emotions.
Jasper .
What the actual hell was he doing in her closet?
She found him in the furthest corner, hiding behind her oldest dresses next to a giant stack of shoeboxes that was impossible to miss and, consequently, brought him into her line of sight as well .
His breathing was shallow and too quick. The fear prickled at her skin like daggers of unforgiving terror.
Still.
She pushed that fear off as she parted the clothes to reveal his curled form on the ground.
The moment she moved the clothes back, he flinched, hissed at her, and pressed himself further against the wall; his voice settled into a warning growl.
Rosalie would have growled back at him and demanded he get his ass out of her closet if she couldn't see the overwhelming fear and panic in his gaze.
Then it hit her.
His body language, that fear, the discomfort in his eyes after hearing the Denali were coming.
It all clicked together, though now she wished she hadn't figured out.
~~~~~~~~~~
The moment Jasper saw Rosalie he felt his control fall back into place. It wasn't that madwoman.
His shoulders dropped, and he forced himself to get a hold of his emotions before his gift started causing trouble. He avoided looking at her, suddenly ashamed and embarrassed by the fact that he was caught hiding in her closet.
He was thankful she gave him time to compose himself and stop acting like he was on the verge of a breakdown in her closet. God, she would skin him alive if he ruined her clothes.
And when he was calmer and his emotions were once more under control, he managed to remember how to speak.
-I'm sorry I entered your room without permission. I just wanted some peace and quiet.- Were his first words.
As if he couldn't get that in his own bedroom.
He wasn't prepared for his apology to be met with silence.
Rosalie was staring at him with an odd look on her face, and her emotions were... strange. Understanding. What was there to understand? He didn't get it.
Wait.
That look. Those emotions.
His dead heart almost came out of his chest as panic and fear slammed into him with such force that his legs moved on their own. Grabbing her shoulders and shoving her against the wall – wrong – his fear was overwhelming him, keeping him from thinking straight. This was dangerous, too dangerous. Alice couldn't know.
-You cannot tell Alice. She must not know. She can't know. If you tell her, I... You can't tell her. - That last one sounded more like a desperate plea than a threat, and he hated it, but he would kiss her feet and worship the ground she walked on if that meant Alice didn't ever find out.
He would do anything to keep this from Alice. Of all things, this was the one thing Alice couldn't hear a single peep about.
Alice couldn't know. Because if she knew, Jasper didn't think he would ever be able to look her in the eye again; he wouldn't even get close to it, afraid of what he would find there. Of what he would feel. He didn't want her pity. He didn't want her disappointment. He was weak, so weak that he let himself be overpowered by that woman. He was stronger and faster, yet he had let her overpower him due something as pathetic as fear.
He was weak.
And Alice could never know that.
Because if she did, he didn't think he would be able to survive.
Not really.
For her part, Rosalie, even though she hated being pinned like this, found herself too stunned to even react. She had known Maria was an absolute bitch who had tortured the hell out of him, but she never expected this to also be on the list of horrors she had done to him.
She could feel his anger, but the emotion that was stabbing at her skin like needles was his fear, his panic at the fact that someone knew.
The words came out before she could think them through.
-My fiancé raped me.
He froze, the low growl he had kept up all this time cutting off abruptly, and his grip on her shoulders lost some of its strength.
-He and his friends, and then they left me to die in the streets like a dog. Carlisle was the one who found me.
He released her and stepped back, and, for the first time in her life, she was glad that she wasn't being given that same pitiful look everyone did whenever they found out about what happened to her.
No.
He understood.
-I'm sorry.
-It's fine. Killing them all was the first thing I did when I became a vampire; I made sure to make them suffer and feel as weak as I had that night.
Jasper couldn't help the flicker of respect that bloomed in him for this woman. She sounded so calm, despite the distress in her emotions, and he didn't think he would ever be able to speak about that in such a manner.
But part of him felt like it was only fair that he gave her the same amount of information she had given him.
Even if that meant sharing something he wasn't comfortable with other people knowing.
-I'm an empath. Maria was smart, and it didn't take her long to realize that the emotions around me could influence me just as much as I could influence them. She figured out she could manipulate me by overwhelming me with her emotions to a point where it was difficult for me to tell if what I was feeling was mine or hers... Lust was one of her favorite emotions to use against me. I always thought I loved her, but...
He felt a flicker of shame as he avoided her gaze.
-I didn't love her. Not really. I just... If she was happy, it was less likely I would have to be the one to kill the newborns. Less of a chance for me to be on the receiving end of her bad mood. If she was happy, she would leave me alone. But even then, there were times where I wished she would just torture me if that meant I wouldn't have to have sex with her.
Those times had been the worst.
Those times where not even her suffocating lust could get him in the mood, and instead it made him nauseous. It would strangle him until he was willing to tear his skin apart in the hope that it could rid him of those unwanted feelings.
Even now, the memory made him nauseous, and he wanted nothing more than to burn his skin off.
Meanwhile, Rosalie was at a loss for words.
Because, out of all things she had expected, this wasn't the one of them. She knew his gift was strong when it came to sensing emotions – he was an empath, that's what they did – and she also knew others' emotions could influence him.
But she never expected that that bitch would use it against him like that .
What kind of twisted person did that? Wasn't it enough that she stole his life as a human and tortured him for her own gains? Did she really need to go and mess with his head like that too? The fact that he had gone as far as pleasing her to avoid pain... And even then sometimes wanting to be tortured instead...
God, if Rosalie ever saw that bitch, she was gonna rip her apart.
That bitch deserved nothing more than a gruesome death.
-You don't have to feel mad about it. We can't change the past, and feeling mad about it won't change what happened. Kate just brought back some memoriesI would rather not think about. It's not her fault; she didn't know what she was doing. And she apologized. It's in the past.
-That still doesn't make it okay!- Rosalie snapped.- In the past? If it's in the past, why the hell did I walk in on you near having a panic attack? How do you think Alice would react if she knew her mate is hiding in a closet while she is making peace with the reason he is hiding in the first place?
-But she doesn't know.- Jasper said in a threatening tone. He didn't want Alice to know. She shouldn't know.
Rosalie felt her anger dissipate at that, and sadness took its place. She couldn't imagine how it would feel to have Emmett fraternizing with the same man who had harassed her.
No.
She could imagine it.
The amount of pain and betrayal would suffocate her, to see her own mate being nothing but friendly to someone who had continuously poked at her insecurities and fears. Socializing with him when she wanted nothing more than for him to save her...
She didn't think she could ever forgive such a breach of trust.
It would break her apart.
And still, Jasper looked so calm about it.
It wasn't fair.
-You should tell her. She loves you more than anything in the world, and I know for a fact that it would destroy her to know you are hiding in here because of Kate.
-I'm fine.
Lie.
Having Alice make peace with Kate hurt.
It hurt more than anything he could ever remember feeling.
But he would rather have her in pacifist mode than crying.
Pacifist over pitying him.
Anything but her pity.
~~~~~~~~~~
Rosalie decided to stay in her room, and while she told Jasper it was because she was bored, the truth was that she didn't feel comfortable leaving him alone anymore.
With nothing better to do, she had pulled out Emmett's chessboard and taken it with her into the closet, leaving the door half open despite the fact that both of them had perfect night vision.
She liked having someone else to play with.
Even if that meant losing most of the time due Jasper's strategic mind and soldier background.
At some point, she found herself staring at the scars on his arms since he had the habit of taking a while to make his move, and she had nothing better to do while she waited an eternity for him to make his decision.
He had pulled his sleeves up after his sleeve knocked down one of his pieces.
His scars had, once upon a time, been a horrible sight. Now, not so much.
In fact.
The idea of Jasper without scars sounded rather bizarre. That would be like taking away Emmett's size or Alice's energetic nature.
She caught sight of the scar she had given to him when he had first arrived. She had almost forgotten about that one.
She could still remember the fear and rage she felt at the sight of Emmett being attacked unprovoked.
But at this point, the only ones who were yet to be bitten by Jasper were Esme, Edward, and Rosalie herself.
He didn't lash out as much as he used to, but he was still a biter, and he wouldn't hesitate to attack if he was startled.
Most of the scars on his arms were older than she could imagine. Even the burnt bands around his wrists.
But there were a handful that stood out like sore thumbs, and it didn't take a genius to figure out those were the ones he had given those to himself. She still remembers Carlisle's words.
The taste of his own blood helps him counteract the taste of their venom when it gets too much.
That was a disturbing thought when one truly gave it attention, even more so considering how horrible his blood smelled. She had smelled his blood once, and even then she can still remember that stench as if she had it right under her nose. Acidic as hell . She couldn't imagine how nauseating the taste must be.
And, God, he would stink like a rotten corpse when he didn't shower. He once went on a hunting trip with Edward and Emmett that lasted an entire week, and he had come back smelling like a decaying body even though he was covered in dried blood and mud.
Alice had burnt those clothes in the backyard, and Rosalie had blessed her for it.
After that, it became a strict rule that he needed to shower everyday .
For everyone's sake.
She watched him scratch absently at his left wrist; he did that sometimes, either because the scars ached or were stinging.
The fact that the sunrise did that to his skin was a rather disturbing reminder that he wasn't the same as them.
For the most part, forgetting the differences between them wasn't that hard. Once one got used to his scent, it faded into the background.
But then he would come back from hunting sporting black, near translucent, freckles. Or a patch of his skin would show how the sunlight did more than reflect off of it.
He never seemed to mind it, and he would heal in a few hours, but that didn't change what the sun could do to him if he wasn't careful.
-Why didn't you kill her when you left?
The question was out before she could even think about stopping it, and if the tensing of his shoulders was anything to go by, he knew what her question was about.
For a moment it looked as if he wouldn't answer, but then the words came out.
-Why does it matter?- Jasper asked as he finally made his move; he felt a flicker of irritation from Rosalie.
-You don't love her. She didn't love you either. Why keep someone alive who brought you so much misery?
-... As I told Carlisle once, I understand that our relationship was twisted, and that she held no love over me whatsoever, but I don't hate her. She was miserable and broken and, therefore, wanted to make others as miserable as she was. She wanted to break them as she was broken when her mate was killed. So, I don't hate her.
-Even though she did this to you?- Rosalie asked, grabbing his arm in emphasis.
He shrugged and Rosalie sighed as she released his arm. How could someone be so damn stupid? That woman still had him eating from the palm of her hand, and he didn't even realize it. Maria created him. So what?
That didn't mean he had to let her step on him and treat him like a dog.
Wasn't his kind famous for slaughtering their creators?
-You do know you don't owe her anything, right? So what if she created you? That doesn't make you her pet. Who cares if she had a horrible past? That doesn't give her the right to go and torture others because of it. She's a bitch, not someone for you to feel pity for.
Jasper didn't answer.
He could see Rosalie's point, but that didn't change the fact that he didn't want to kill Maria.
Couldn't people understand and accept his decision?
The sudden flare of emotions from downstairs made him flinch and straighten his back.
-What's wrong?
Anger. Rage. Surprise. Shock.
-Alice.
~~~~~~~~~~
No one had a clue what had happened. One moment Alice and Kate were on the roof, talking about God knows what, and next thing they knew, a sense of déjà vu hit them as a loud thud was heard outside, followed shortly by the sound of two bodies crashing together.
But this time, rather than Jasper, Alice was the one who had Kate pinned against the ground with a feral growl.
-Alice!- Called out Carlisle half alarmed, half surprised and shocked by the sight of his most passive daughter acting so aggressively out of nowhere.
Tanya growled, but before she could do anything, Emmett had grabbed Alice and removed her from Kate with ease, holding her against his chest and keeping her arms against her chest to prevent her from lashing out even more.
Alice struggled against his hold, growling and kicking and looking royally pissed off.
-Let me go! Let me go! I'm gonna kill her! You have no right to touch him! No right at all! He's mine! - The growl at the end could have ended wars.
The moment that growl left her was the moment Jasper appeared with a growl of his own. His stare settled upon Emmett with such a dangerous edge, Emmett couldn't help but release Alice out of reflex.
Alice went to lung for Kate again, but this time Jasper was the one to grab her from behind, holding her arms behind her back and using his gift to defuse her wrath and the growing hostility and alarm from the Denali coven.
-That's enough.- He ordered his vengeful wife.
Jasper could feel Alice's anger being replaced with such frustration and sadness so intense that it hurt, and he was quick to ignore those around him in order to get her as far from the house as possible. Picking her up bridal style, they disappeared into the forest.
He held her close to him, her arms around his neck as he ran, and he didn't stop until he was almost to the edge of the province.
-Alice.- He called gently, she was shaking now, and her face was buried against his neck.- Love, what's wrong?- He asked again, soothing some of her growing pain.
He tried to set her on the ground, but all she did was wrap her arms around him and hide her face against his chest instead, fingers curling into his shirt as she kept on trembling.
-I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should have known. I shouldn't have- I'm so sorry.
The pain and remorse that bled off of her was almost too overwhelming to even grab, let alone soothe, and he was left having to take a deep breath in order to calm himself down. Panic was starting to flicker in because what the hell was happening? What happened? Why was she apologizing? Why was she hurting? What happened?
He touched her shoulders and gently pulled her far enough away so he could take her face between his hands, but she didn't meet his eyes. God, she looked so heartbroken.
-Alice, what's wrong? What happened? Did someone hurt you? Did she say something? Are you hurt? Are you in pain? Why are you apologizing?- Jasper asked, desperately looking her over and trying to soothe her pain to no avail. Why the hell did she feel so hurt? What the hell happened?
-I should have known to not let her close. I shouldn't have let her go anywhere near you, not after what Maria put you through.
Her words froze him.
What?
-What are you talking about?
She didn't answer. All she did was hug him again, and something about the guilt and sadness in her emotions made his throat close.
-How long have you known?- His voice sounded as tense as he felt. Had Peter told her? No, he would never break his trust like that, nor would Charlotte. Then what? A vision? Impossible. She saw the future, not the past, and she had already told him that she hadn't seen much of him during his time in the south after she became a vampire. Surely she would have mentioned it before now if she had seen anything, seen this .
-Since the first time we were together, I realized how important it was to you that I would stop whenever you asked me to.
Had he been that obvious? He did remember being anxious and needing to reassure himself that he was the one in control of the situation this time, that Alice wasn't Maria. He was in control, and he could stop if he wanted to.
Still.
Alice had known all along? He wasn't sure how to feel about that.
-I love you, and I will always love you, no matter what. I'm so sorry I didn't stop Kate that time; I should have never allowed her to do that in the first place.
-It's okay; it wasn't your fault.- Jasper reassured her, burying his face into the crook of her neck and nuzzling her.- Was that why you attacked her?
-No. I had a vision. She thinks that if she gets into my good graces that she can teasingly give you a goodbye kiss.- Alice told him.
That wasn't even the entire truth.
She didn't attack Kate because she was going to kiss him.
That would be overreacting, considering she trusted Jasper, and she wasn't even the jealous sort.
She attacked her because of the fear in Jasper's eyes at said gesture. Because of the way his shoulders drew back, the way his entire body tensed.
Vision or not, she wasn't going to forgive anyone for causing such a reaction in him, much less when they weren't even family.
She hugged him tighter.
Carlisle wouldn't be pleased with this, especially considering she only acted based off of a vision, but she didn't care.
People got it horribly wrong when they thought she wasn't just as protective of him as he was of her.
Because she was.
She may not be as intense and persistent as him, but that didn't make her any less deadly.
~~~~~~~~~
To Alice's relief, the Denali were gone when they returned back to the house.
That didn't lessen Carlisle's stern scowl though.
-Alice, we have established before that acting upon your visions when they haven't even happened yet is not fair for the people involved, much less when violence is your course of action.
Alice bristled at that.
-She was going to kiss him!- Alice snapped.
The flickering surprise in the air told Jasper that maybe Edward hadn't seen the entirety of her vision.
-That was in the future. You could have prevented it in a less violent manner. Attacking her for something she hadn't done yet was unnecessary.
-She has no right to even have those thoughts towards him.- Alice said, biting back the urge to growl in frustration. Jasper was her mate. Friends or not, Kate had no right to wield such desires toward someone else's mate.
She had no right to be anywhere near him.
-Alice, I understand you are angry, you have every right to be, but, as I have stated before, violence is not the answer to everything. You could have come to me and let me know what she wanted to do, and we could have had a civilized talk about it.
Alice bit back the urge to growl at his words. There was nothing to talk about . Jasper was taken . He was her's . Kate had no right to be desiring someone else's mate. What did she have to do to make that point clear? Get it on in front of the Denali coven next time they came around?
Still .
The Denali were Carlisle's friends . She couldn't be so aggressive towards them.
-Fine . I'm sorry, but make her understand that he's not up for grabs, or next time she comes around, I will make sure to show her just how happy I can make him.
Jasper had to do a double take when he realized what his wife had just said, as if the jealousy emanating from her wasn't enough to make him dizzy.
He didn't even fight her when she pulled him upstairs with her, leaving the room of flabbergasted Cullens behind.
He could share their sentiment though.
Because since when was his pixie so possessive?