As I was re-reading through the last chapter, I wasn't super happy with how it turned out. I kind of rushed the ending of it and I think Sam came off a little too wishy-washy. I will probably re-work it another time. For now, here's the continuation. Anyone still reading? I'd love to hear thoughts on my next work. Another Supernatural? Pairings? Harry Potter? Glee? Let me know!
Emily wisely left Dean alone the rest of that night, feeling a pang of guilt the next morning when he still hadn't resurfaced from the pit of his room. She had made breakfast for them silently, letting Sam take Dean's to him, trying hard to resist the urge to eavesdrop after he shut the door and stayed in there for a few long minutes. The pangs of guilt turned her stomach as she tried hard to move on with her day, taking her coffee to sit in the living room and turn on some mindless reality TV show with one of the many Kardashian's. The thoughts swirled around her, everything Sam had said intermixing with her own stubborn feelings about what Dean's idea of a perfect life may be. With Lisa he had gotten so much, a normal life and a built in family, a nice house, a normal job. Even with Sam's reassurances that Lisa was far out of the picture, that Dean hadn't seen her since the day he'd asked Cas to wipe her memory of him, she still couldn't shake it. He'd been a dad to a little boy. He'd been devoted to this woman. If Sam hadn't returned, he would've still been with her. And if he saw her again?
The coffee had gone cold in her hands and she stood up to go into the kitchen and microwave it. A quick glance to the hall and Dean's still shut door sent that pang again, which she brushed away. Leaning against the counter as the microwave spun, she was absentmindedly staring at the fridge when Sam's sudden reappearance startled her out of her reverie. "You okay?"
He was treating her with kid gloves this morning. He'd even apologized again for his behavior last night, but Emily had brushed him off. She had hit him, she'd thrown the tantrum, she didn't blame him for his reaction. Even if her ass was still bearing the brunt of it today. "Yeah, Sam, I'm fine," she sighed a little as the microwave dinged and she removed the now piping hot cup. She cradled it between her hands as Sam moved around her to pour a fresh cup and then take an opposite stance across from her, mimicking her pose as they both sipped for a moment in silence.
"I just-" she set the cup down and finally met Sam's gaze, her mouth down-turned in a little frown that reached her eyes. "I can't stop thinking about it. About his life with her. About his life with them." She took another sip of her coffee, Sam's still quiet prompting her to continue. "Everything you said before, about how Dean can't ever have that with me, is true Sam. I can't change what I am. I can't change what I was born into. I can't give him children, Sam. I can't give him normalcy. And before it didn't matter, we were all stuck together for the unforseeable future, and I thought maybe he didn't care about any of that stuff, maybe we'd be fine doing this for the rest of our lives. But now I know...now I know that's not true for him," her voice broke a little, and she tried hard to hold in the tears that welled up, even as Sam moved to put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "He deserves more than me, Sam."
"Hey, hey," Sam soothed her gently, his long fingers rubbing circles into her shoulder. "That's not fair, Em. Dean made his choices, his own choices, with Lisa. He gave up the life with her long before we knew that you'd be entering our lives. He chose that, not you, not me, he did. You can't guilt yourself into what Dean is making of his life. And you make him happy, happier and angrier and more passionate then I ever saw him with Lisa. He's my brother, and I worry about him and so I said some things that I shouldn't have, but you have to know that I was just looking out for him, and maybe I was trying to get him to admit what he really is feeling about you. Which he did."
Emily swallowed the sob in her throat and turned into Sam's side, tucking her head against his chest as she let herself cry for a few moments. When she had finally composed herself, she pulled back to tell Sam thank you and was interrupted again by Dean's sudden appearance. Sam and Emily glanced at each other before looking at Dean, but he didn't say anything, even as he took in Emily's tear stained face and Sam's worried look.
"Morning," he said gruffly, shoving past them both to reach the coffee pot and pour himself a cup. "Sam, we got a job. Cas said we're okay to do it as long as Emily stays here this time."
Emily's sadness turned to confusion as she heard what he said and she straightened a little, dumping her coffee cup into the sink. "Is that a good idea? What about-"
"Cas said it's fine," Dean repeated shortly, cutting her off and brushing past them again to head to the living room. "We'll leave in a couple hours Sammy, it's not too far from here. Guess there's been an uptick in people's heads exploding for no reason over in River City."
Sam followed Dean to the living room, their chattering fading away as Emily stayed rooted to the spot, her frown deepened. So Dean was being his normal asshole self, but clearly the snub was staring her straight in the face. He didn't want to talk to her, and he didn't want to be here with her, and clearly he wasn't having her go on a job. She took a deep breath, fighting her natural urge to go throw a tantrum at them and instead trailed after them into the living room as well. She wasn't forgiven yet, that much was clear, and as hurt as she felt, she had been there long enough to know that Dean would come around when he wanted to.
"Why can't I go?" Her tone wasn't whiny, just matter of fact, and she perched on the edge of the couch, ignoring the literal pain in her butt as memories from last night tried to flood her brain. She pushed them aside. "If Cas says it's safe enough for you guys, shouldn't it be safe enough for me?"
"No." Dean looked at her pointedly before returning to his talk with Sam, ignoring her again.
"Did Cas specifically say I couldn't go?" She was pushing it, she knew she was, but she didn't want to stop. If Dean hauling off on her curbed his anger with her, it'd be worth it. Even as she spoke, staring straight at him, she could see his jaw tensing.
"I said no," Dean's voice lowered a shade and she brushed past it coolly, now meeting Sam's eyes with a determined stubbornness. His lips pursed and he gave a small shake "no" of his head, seeing what she was doing and warning her against it. "Because I said no."
"Then Cas probably wants me there, Dean," she adopted the snotty tone that she knew drove him crazy, knew pushed his buttons, and she watched with a mixture of dread and delight as he flexed out his hand, eyes hard. "I want out of here just as badly as you do."
"Sam," Dean suddenly jerked his head to his brother and Emily sighed, realizing that she was being snubbed again. She'd lost this one. "Take Emily to her room and impress upon her the importance of following directions. Then come help me pack up the car."
He stalked away without another glance to Emily and Sam sighed, giving her a look that clearly said "what the hell are you doing?"
Emily stared back innocently. "What? I'm just doing what I do best, Sam. If he's mad enough at me to spank me, then he'll be mad enough at me to talk to me."
Sam just sighed again and wrapped an arm around her shoulder, leading her back to her room. "It's not gonna be that easy, Emily. So don't keep riling him up because I'm the one who's gonna have to deal with his bad side today." He rolled his eyes then met hers again with a sudden start, suspicion clouding his expression. "Don't even think about doing something stupid, Emily. I mean it, you don't know what he's gonna do, you don't know how he's gonna react, and for all we know, he'll make me spank you again. So put away that look, I see what you're up too."
She just stared at him innocently, a sickly sweet smile grazing her lips. "I don't know what you're talking about, Sammy. But Captain VonTrapp blew his whistle, so you better scoot." Giving him a wink, she shoved him from the room and shut the door firmly behind him. She only had a few hours to get the wheels turning and come up with a plan.