When I opened my eyes, I found myself lying in frigid cold water staring up at a dark and cloudy sky. I rubbed my throbbing head as I sat up, then noticed a figure standing to my right. I stood up, briefly noting that my clothes were changed to black training fatigues, and looked at the golden wolf sitting nearby. It was peering at me through its blood red eye that sent shivers up my spine, and those shivers increased when it howled and instantly became the Hero's Shade; a tall, skeletal warrior in ancient and decrepit golden armor. Its helmet bore three horns, two on either side of its face and one on top. There were gaps in its midriff and limbs, showing the transparent skin with opaque bones beneath. In its bony hands were a cracked bronze shield of circular design and a sword not unlike the Master Sword in terms of shape and size thought it too was damaged and obviously very old.

Reaching down to my hip, I grabbed at air and realized my Ordon Sword was nowhere to be found, same with my Ordon Shield. After all the trouble of getting them, they were gone. Perfect. The Hero's Shade charged before I could grumble about it and swung his sword. I ducked with a yelp and tried to backpedal but it was all over me, swinging its weapon every which way, or at least I thought it was. In my panic, I had clenched my eyes shut, so I had no idea where it was or where the sword was until a dusty boot collided with my chest and knocked me to the ground.

I opened my eyes to find sharp steel just inches away from my face, and if I did not know better, I would have thought this was the end. "A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage," a voice said, sounding surprisingly masculine and strong.

"You were swinging a sword at me," I pointed out, not liking the patronizing tone.

The Hero's Shade scoffed and shook his head as he stepped away. "You may be destined to become a hero of legend," it said, "but your current power would disgrace the proud lineage of heroes." I stood up by then and sighed tiredly. "You must use your courage to seek power, and find it you must. Only then will you─ DON'T INTERRUPT ME!" My mouth closed so quickly I think it heard my teeth clang together. The Hero's Shade crossed its arms and looked as if it were studying me with that one red eye. "… You do have courage, power, and wisdom, but so misguided… Still, you are balanced enough. The Goddesses chose well in that regard, but you have a long path ahead. If you do find true courage, and you wish to save Hyrule from the horrors it now faces…" A weight at my side revealed the Ordon Sword had returned. "Then you will be worthy to receive the secrets I hold!"

Drawing my blade, I held it less than eagerly. The Hero's Shade sighed and walked over after sheathing its own weapon, then began to adjust my grip on the Ordon Sword. Its gauntleted hands were cold and brittle to the touch yet strong as well, and its presence was intimidating since it towered over me. The Darth Vader-like breathing was not helping. "What is steel compared to the hand that wields it? If you cannot grip the sword tightly, your enemies will be more capable of knocking it free." Nodding, I held the Ordon Sword per instruction and the Hero's Shade nodded in approval.

The spirit returned to its former position and drew its sword. "You have been instructed in the basics, and if you continue to practice them, you will become a worthy swordsman. You can surely handle one or two at a time as long as you remember your lessons, but enemies rarely attack alone. The Spin Attack─ Don't interrupt me. The Spin Attack is an advanced defensive attack that can thin the ranks when you are surrounded." It moved into a crouched position with shield in front and sword back. "Hold your sword out and summon your strength into your arm, then whirl forward, striking the advancing forces with a powerful blow." It must have been a trick of the light, but when the Hero's Shade spun, I caught a glimpse of a green hat rather than a spiked helmet. It spun once and stopped perfectly in place without losing balance or orientation.

I figured it was my turn to try, so I copied the Hero's Shade's stance and spun around, right onto my bum. "For beginners, the Spin Attack can be dangerous to its user more than its enemies. Remember what was in front of you before you attacked so you will know when to stop, and even then, it takes practice to maintain balance afterwards. Again!" Shaking the dizziness off, I redid the proper position and spun again, managing to stop while facing the Hero's Shade but I still fell backwards. "You must train yourself if you wish to master these techniques. Stand."

I did so and found myself getting excited by all of this information and learning. It felt good to be doing something productive for once, but don't tell anyone I said that. "Enemies that are filled with energy will quickly recover and attack again even when stunned by a powerful strike. The Ending Blow is a technique you can use on downed enemies to end their breath before they spring back into action." The Hero's Shade flipped through the air and planted its ancient blade in the foggy white ground, then backflipped to its original stance. "When an enemy lies collapsed on the ground, stunned, act without delay to leap high into the air and deliver a final strike. Now, try it on me!" It held its sword up to the side and I mirrored, then we clinked the flat sides of our blades together. The Hero's Shade assumed a combat stance with mild bouncing on its heels and shield raised, while I tried to mirror it, but since my Ordon Shield was still missing, I had to settle with holding my sword with both hands.

Since the Hero's Shade was obviously undead, I held nothing back when I swung at it, but I wish I did. The sword fell out of my hands the moment it clanged against the spirit's armor and sent shocks into my arms. That was no defense mechanism, just me being a bit too eager. Ignoring the disapproving stare, I picked the sword back up and slashed diagonally downwards, catching the Hero's Shade in the shoulder without knocking the damn weapon away again. The spirit staggered and I swung again from the side, and would have sliced its belly if it had one, then continued the swing into an impromptu Spin Attack that knocked us both on our backs. I hurried to my feet and jumped at the Hero's Shade with sword raised to stab and pierced the ground beside its head.

"Coward," it grumbled before kicking me off. "The Spin Attack has yet to be imprinted in your mind, it was foolish to attempt it so soon." Growling in my throat, I charged and slashed it across the chest, though it probably let me strike. I followed up with an upward diagonal and then a thrust that sent the Hero's Shade flat on its back. This time my sword found its mark and pierced between the spirit's armor and pelvis, right into the transparent midsection. I decided not to push my luck with a backflip, so I merely withdrew my sword and hopped away. The spirit stood up, unfazed, and nodded. "Hmm. That was a pinpoint strike. Never overlook your opportunity to finish your opponents. The first hidden skill, the Ending Blow, has been passed on."

I smiled and twirled the sword around before sheathing it at my hips. "There are still six hidden skills for you to learn," the Hero's Shade said. "Those are only for one who carries the spirit of the hero, the one whose spirit is that of the sublime beast." It crossed its arms and stood straight like the warrior it was. "Grow powerful, test your courage, and when you find that you need another skill to overcome the threats that face you, I will appear. A sword wields no strength unless the hand that holds it has courage. Remember those words." It raised an arm in goodbye. "Farewell, Zach! Zach… Zach…"

"ZACH!"

I lurched upward in surprise. "What time is it!" Looking around, I found myself back in Faron Woods, back in my normal clothes, and with an upset-looking Twilight Princess sitting right in front of me.

"It's about time," Midna grumbled. "You were out for a good five minutes."

"I… I was?"

The Twilian nodded. "Mhmm, you were rambling about a wolf before you passed out. Now get up, we're on a schedule."

Even though I should have known better, I was still surprised. It felt like I was there for an hour, but it was just five minutes. Weird. Shrugging, I climbed to my feet and felt the familiar weight of my shield and sword in their proper places. I looked up at the trail leading to Kokiri Marsh and noticed that the enormous tree serving as a gateway had no cliff behind it. Wait, so where would the marsh be? I shrugged again and walked up the light brown carved path, again noting that the Bokoblins were nowhere to be seen, not even a drop of blood. The smell of pine and grass gradually changed to something... something I couldn't explain without a direct waft. It smelled bad, most importantly.

"Wait," I said, and then turned to the left of the trail. "There's something over on that side of the forest─"

Midna hovered in her shadow form and shook her head. "Fused Shadow first."

I sighed. "It's a weapon that will─"

"I'm sure it's extra shiny, but we didn't include detours in the deal." Gritting my teeth, I entered the dark entrance, only for Midna to sound worried all of a sudden. "Wait, stop! There's─"

"AAAH HOO HOO HOO HUEYYY!"

"... No floor..."

I slid against the smooth inside of the tree all the way down, where it bucked into a curve and spat me out into some slimy mushroom-looking thing. My back was slick with whatever moss/algae/fungus/politician that had been growing along the tree's interior, and the smell was obnoxious. Standing up, I backed away from the mushroom and looked up the dark vertical shaft, catching a tiny glimmer of sunlight from the entrance to the tree. The area I landed in was dark save for the glowing mushrooms dotted over the floor and 'walls'. It seemed to be the rest of the tree tilted on its side, with other trees blocking the sunlight completely.

"Well, no going back now," I muttered. Sweat ran down my cheeks. It was warm down there, the heat probably trapped by the foliage.

"I did try to warn you." Midna popped out of my shadow and shrugged apologetically. "Wasn't fast enough. Sorry."

I chuckled dryly. "Doesn't matter; it's comedy."

Midna rolled her eyes and pointed away from the 'entrance'. "There, the glowing plants are leaving a gap at that spot. Maybe that's a doorway?"

"Maybe." I lit the lantern and realized something. "I can't hold my shield and the lantern at the same time, and it'll get too hot to strap to my waist. Got any bright ideas?"

The Twilian groaned and said, "That was a terrible pun. Anyway, I can carry the lantern."

I blinked in surprise but did not press the issue. "Thanks." After handing it to her, I pulled out the map of the area. "Could have mentioned there was a drop..."

"I did."

"Not you, the map."

"Oh." She hovered over my left shoulder while holding the light up. "So, anything look familiar?"

My brow furrowed as I studied the map. "Yeah, but there's some discrepancies." I went on to explain how the map resembled Kokiri Forest yet it looked like some areas had been flooded with poisonous water, judging from the purple coloring on some parts of the map. "How did Coro even make this map? He'd have to venture into the marsh and find a way back out, and no offense to him but he does not seem like the adventuring type."

Midna hummed in mild agreement. "Neither are you, chubby." She patted my belly and giggled. "I'm just saying, you're not in the best condition to go wandering about."

"Actually, I'm in fairly good shape, it just doesn't look like it. People way heavier than me have done cartwheels and starred in movies that demanded a lot of physical activity." Like Chris Farley. "Anyway, we seem to be... here." It seemed the giant tree had grown from the bean sprout planted by Link in Ocarina of Time, which meant we were in the very entrance to what used to be Kokiri Forest. "Well, at least it doesn't look like a long haul. Only one floor, one general area to explore, and... hm, there's a note about something big in the spot where the Great Deku Tree was, so that's where the Fused Shadow is."

"Wha... Oh, even bigger plant, right?"

"Right. Of course, how we get there depends on what it looks like through the tunnel." I folded the map and put it away, then drew my sword and shield. "No time like the present..." Setting one foot in front of the other, I entered the tunnel with Midna floating beside me with lantern in hand. "Shouldn't you be conserving your energy?"

The Twilian shook her head with a grin. "I took another helping of that green potion stuff since it was there. I've got enough magic to fly for a good hour."

I raised a concerned brow. "Only an hour?"

She looked away and muttered, "My magic's not what it used to be."

Nodding in understanding, I continued walking. The tunnel was straight but I couldn't tell since it was so dark, but eventually it opened into a foul-smelling area that had a teeny bit of sunlight peeking through the canopy. It was like I had walked into an abandoned and overgrown Kokiri Forest, with mushrooms and vines all along the floors and walls, and purple liquid bubbled in small streams. Looking to the left, I saw a ledge leading higher and remembered that led to the Lost Woods and headed there for a better vantage point. The sound of wildlife reached my ears and made me wish I went camping more often so I could know what to do. The ledge was waist-high, so I rolled on top of it and listened for any sign of danger, not that I could tell what it would sound like.

The stench of poisonous water was almost suffocating as I crept along the small cliff and saw a structure nearby. It was Mido's house if I recalled correctly, but it looked like shit. The wood was rotted and covered in shiny white vines, and the roof had caved in. It was making me anxious how we hadn't been attacked by anything yet. No Scrubs, no Babas, nothing. It wasn't until I saw the bone hand sticking out of the 'vines' that I realized why.

"Skulltulas," I muttered. "Giant spiders with a hard shell and soft belly." I looked up to see if there were any arachnid-like limbs peeking from the branches above, but found nothing. My gaze returned to the task at hand and I turned my head to look at the wall nearby, seeing green vines running up it. After finagling my shield and sword back to their original positions, I grappled the vines and started to climb. They were surprisingly strong and sturdy, providing ample support and grips for my weight and limbs. With Midna holding the light so I could see what I was doing, I climbed up the relatively short distance and hefted myself over the lip of the cliff. Panting slightly, I leaned against the wall and noticed something shimmering nearby over the slight ramp. I drew my weapons and carefully walked around the bend and up the ramp to find a giant wall of webbing blocking the entrance to Lost Woods.

Midna tilted her head and suggested, "We can probably burn through this with the lantern."

I looked at the map and shook my head. "That leads somewhere else, the Fused Shadow is in another direction." A branch snapped somewhere behind us, so I whirled around and raised my shield in defense. Nothing happened. Cautiously walking forward, I saw nothing outside of the bubble of light Midna provided. "Can you boost the fire for a few seconds so I can see the area?"

"That'll deplete my magic power a bit, but sure." The orange light bloomed and showed the rest of Kokiri Marsh. The other houses shared the same fate as Mido's; spider webs, skeletons, and rotted dead wood. Poison water pooled in front of the houses and the area in front of what used to be the shop, with floating driftwood serving as platforms across. I caught sight of several Baba pods dotting the foliage around the marsh, which was a lot bigger than I thought, and the wall on the far side was collapsed, revealing a bit more sunlight but not enough to put the lantern away. Looking over in the direction of the Great Deku Tree's area, the poison water pool was large, far too vast to jump across, but the platforms would come in handy.

Nodding as the light dimmed back to normal, I checked the map and saw that the area with sunlight led to the same path that used to hold the Kokiri Sword. There was a drawing of a chest and words scribbled next to it that said, "Treasure?"

"Hm, looks like whoever drew this map never opened that chest. It's either a sword or a compass."

Midna frowned doubtfully and asked, "Why would it be either of those?"

I answered, "That exact spot was where Link's ancestor found a sword, and if not a sword, compasses are always the next thing you find in chests after the dungeon maps, which is what we already have."

"Can't we just get the Fused Shadow?" she protested.

"It's better to check the chest and see if it'll point us to a useful item that'll help defeat the giant plant. That's usually how these things go down."

Midna looked about to say something more, but her eyes flickered to the side for a moment and then she nodded. "Alright, let's get to that chest."

The poison water stood between us and the raised area that led to the chest, but there was a platform near Mido's house, so I climbed down the vine wall and walked along the short cliff to the other side of the structure, or tried to, at least. Before Midna or I could reacted, a Skulltula dropped down from above and slammed into me, knocking me into the wall. "Ow!" I growled at the spider and tried to bash my shield against it, but it pulled up and grappled my head and shoulders. I dropped my shield to keep its head away from mine, its pincers snapping wildly just inches from my nose, and it either let go of the web or the web snapped, because it then pressed all its weight against me. The spider was heavy enough to offset my balance and its squirming caused me to slip off the cliff. I landed on top of it and apparently squished it between my body and its own shell since it squealed (do spiders have vocal cords? Somewhere, an entomologist is crying) and thrashed its eight limbs about.

Seeing this as my opportunity, I jumped the Skulltula and thrust my sword down into its abdomen, piercing down to the shell. The damn thing squealed even louder and struggled against the steel keeping it pinned to the ground, until it finally went limp and its limbs curled up. I pulled the sword out and kicked the twitching corpse for good measure, then saw Midna floating beside me with shield in hand.

"You dropped this," she said casually, and I chuckled as I took the shield with a grateful nod. "So, that was a Skulltula and thus your first kill with a sword. Not bad, rookie, not bad at all."

I shrugged and wiped the blood on my pant leg. "I'm not celebrating, but yeah, first kill with this." I groaned when I sniffed and smelled the blood and poison water nearby. It was putrid, like stomach acid or something, but that was not what caught my attention. There was a Deku Baba staring at me from just a few feet away, attracted to the noise. It shot out faster than I could dodge and chomped down on my right shoulder, causing me to drop my sword and cry out in pain. The Baba was probably young since it was too small to engulf me but it sure as hell had powerful jaws that I knew had cut into the skin of my arm where the chainmail did not cover.

The plant began to reel me towards its pod while its saliva stung my wounds something fierce. I tried to get a good foothold, but the ground was slippery due to the fungus and mud, so I had to resort to bashing its carapace with my shield. That action aggravated it and it dragged me in faster. If only I still had my sword! I struggled against it as best I could while still hitting it with the Ordon Shield, then had another idea. My foot 'caught' on a rock nearby and I fell, taking the Baba with me. I got drenched in mud but ignored it since the plant's neck stalk was now draped over another rock. I swung the edge of my shield down and struck the stalk, causing it to release me and almost comically cough and gag. My victory was short-lived because the Deku Baba recovered more quickly than I hoped and lunged at me again. This time, I raised my shield in time and its jaws bounced off, knocking both of us backward.

Something bumped into my foot and I looked down to find the Ordon Sword. With a slightly bleeding arm, I picked it up and twirled it deftly, then was surprised at how easily holding the sword came to me, but quickly shook the thought off and charged at the Deku Baba as it charged me. It struck my shield again and recoiled, leaving an opening for its neck stalk. I slashed at it and managed a decent cut before the plant snarled and shot its head at me. Acting on instinct, I shoved my sword forward and decapitated the Baba, and its head flew over mine while still snapping. The stalk flailed about wildly but soon dried up and became a tall stick, and the head's jaws weakly quivered before it hardened and went still.

I slumped against the nearby wall and slid down until I was seated on the ground. The bite wounds were aching and my breath was short, but I was alive. "Not bad for a beginner..."

Midna floated down next to me and asked, "Are you alright?"

Nodding, I looked at her with a raised eyebrow. "Feel free to step in any time."

"You did alright," she said casually. "Didn't want to cramp your style. Now, let me see those bites." I pulled off my right gauntlet and gently rolled my sleeve up. Blood had seeped into the green material, and the bites had areas of red skin around them. "I didn't know they had teeth, but these look a bit infected or maybe poisonous. Do you feel any sudden dizziness or lightheadedness?"

I shook my head. "I'm coherent, it just hurts like a bitch." Midna reached for my satchel but I frowned and blocked her. "We can go on. I'm fine."

Midna raised a brow, or maybe both, and said, "The longer we wait, the more dangerous these bites could get. You're no good to me dead, so relax and let me wash them." After a moment, I sighed and opened the satchel for her. She reached in and felt around for a bottle of healing water, and the close proximity made me uncomfortable.

"So... How do you know so much about how to treat this stuff?"

The Twilian scoffed as she held up the plastic bottle. "Common sense. And a little survival training." She retrieved a clean cloth as well and dabbed some water on it, then gently wiped down the bite marks. They closed up instantly and the skin around them returned to a normal slightly pale hue. Midna continued washing some of the blood off my arm and then wrung the cloth out. "All done."

"Thank you," I said as I fixed my sleeve and gauntlet. She offered the cloth back and I placed it in a compartment filled with dirty laundry before looking at where I needed to go. The poison water blocked the way and I did not want to risk jumping in mud and slipping. A platform was nearby and looked stable enough to stand on, but it was just out of reach.

Midna patted my shoulder and said, "I'll get it." She floated over and nudged the raft in my direction, then held it steady for me.

"Thanks." I tentatively stepped on and held my arms out for balance, but then came the issue of propulsion. How was I going to move the platform through the water? I doubted Midna would do it, but then I remembered the Deku Stick where the plant died. Stepping off the platform while sheathing my weapons, I retrieved the stick, which was as long as I was tall, and returned. I was careful to avoid snapping the tool as I pushed it into the ground beneath the water and propelled the raft forward near a cluster of other rafts and platforms.

Something screeched at me from afar and I looked up to see two monkeys waving at me from the top of what used to be OoT Link's house. One of them had a red bow on her head and jumped up and down to get my attention. I moved the raft in their direction, and then a bigger monkey, more like a baboon, jumped down from above and yelled at the two monkeys. Being a human, I could not understand them, but it was clear the smaller primates were afraid of the bigger one, whom I recognized as Ook, the mini-boss of the Forest Temple, except he was not holding the Gale Boomerang. Instead, he had a large spear with one end sharpened and the other end capped off with a Deku Nut.

The smaller monkeys jumped off the roof and out of sight, and Ook glared at me while raising his spear threateningly. "I don't think he likes you," Midna said.

"Of course not, he's possessed. See that bug thing stuck to his head?" I couldn't point since the monkey would see, so I sent a mental picture. "That's controlling him. I have to knock it off─ SHIT!" I jumped to another platform just as Ook threw his spear. It stuck in the raft I was just on, and the one I landed on shifted from the momentum of me jumping on it. "This is way too soon for a mini-boss!" Another spear struck right next to my foot and I yelped. A Skulltula popped down and retrieved it, then vanished up into the canopy. Oh, come on. I also realized I had left the Deku Stick near the first platform, so I had no means of propulsion.

Considering there was a Giant Deku Baba uncoiling from its pod near where my raft was drifting, I really wanted that stick. Ook's spear struck again, cutting my thigh slightly, but I yanked it out of the driftwood before the Skulltula could and bashed it with the blunt end. The spider swung with a squeal into the open maw of the Deku Baba and satisfied its hunger temporarily, and now I had Ook's weapon. He screeched and pounded his chest at me while I pushed the raft away from the carnivorous plant. The stench of poison made my eyes water while sweat dripped into them, but I focused on the battle. There was no way I could throw the spear at its owner, but I had no other means of reaching him. He turned around and slapped his bottom just as a Skulltula landed next to me. I had the spear already raised, so when the spider jumped, it was impaled on the sharp end, and I dropped both into the water.

I hopped to another raft and a vine dropped down beside me, and when I looked up, I found the red bowed-monkey waving at me. I waved back and grabbed the vine, but I couldn't climb up since I've never done it before. The vine wall was one thing, climbing a rope was another. Rose, as I called the monkey, seemed to realize this as well and beckoned two more monkeys over while Ook stamped his feet on Link's house. The trio of primates looped my vine over a branch and jumped off, their weight either equaling or trumping mine. I sailed upward while clinging to the jungle rope, my hands burning from holding it so tightly and supporting my body, and one of the monkeys pushed me towards their leader as they passed me.

I swung over and lost my grip on the vine, only to land on a web-hanging Skulltula. I sat right on it and was thankful it was upside down, then noticed other spiders dangling menacingly at me. The momentum of landing on the Skulltula caused it to swing slightly while it struggled to get me off, and I realized it was like a tire swing. Grinning, I shifted my weight appropriately and began to swing further forwards and backwards.

"Ah, I get it," Midna said. "You're gonna swing to the other spiders and tackle the monkey."

"Exactly." Unfortunately, it was only after I tried to jump that I realized I was touching a spider's web. I stuck to it and ended up upside-down with my back against the Skulltula's carapace while we were both still swinging back and forth, the spider still trying to reach up and grab me. Grab me? "I got an idea. I'll keep swinging until I'm close enough to another Skulltula, then I'm gonna grab it and swing away."

"What if the web is too sticky?"

I shrugged. "Then you'll get two half-heroes." Using my thighs to grip the web strand, I bucked and shifted my body to build momentum. It wasn't as difficult as I thought, but that's mostly because of the Skulltula struggling and generating its own momentum as well. Of course, if anyone has ever swung on a tire swing, they'd understand. Anyway, I kept my eye locked on the closest arachnid I could see and continued swinging, getting closer and closer with each arc. The target seemed to catch on and started swinging itself, either to nab me or get away.

Whatever the case, our respective arcs coincided and I reached for it, but missed. It was good that Midna was floating nearby and holding the lantern, because I could not see otherwise as I reached again and grasped the Skulltula by its arms just as the one I was riding grabbed my waist. Shit! I found myself being tugged in opposite directions and neither looked appealing at the moment, although I did feel like I was about to be pulled in half when my left arm became dislocated. The Skulltula clinging to my back let go of its web, the weight and sudden shift also ripping me from its stickiness. All three of us swung in a wide arc with both Skulltulas squealing the whole way, then we collided with a Giant Deku Baba.

The plant snarled and snapped at us, just barely missing the spider clinging to me, and we swung backwards away from it. "Get! Off!" I yelled at the Skulltula. I smacked my boot against its carapace but it was already crawling up my back and onto the other spider, and then it leaped off and landed on the soft ground below, only for the Great Deku Baba to devour it. Free of its weight, I looked over and saw Ook swinging from the side on a vine towards me and the Skulltula. The spider and I exchanged panicked glances and then reeled upwards just as the monkey flew past, and I grabbed his vine. The sudden change in weight caused the jungle rope to yank taut and fling Ook up into the canopy, leaving me still swinging.

My hands slipped from the vine and dropped me unceremoniously on the landing to the right of Link's house, though two monkeys broke my fall. We tumbled around for a bit before finally rolling to a stop, and I was amazed that I was relatively uninjured. Great, that'll piss the Gary Stu hunters off for sure. With a shrug, I dusted myself off and noted how my left shoulder was tender and sore from when it was yanked earlier.

"Well, that was fun," I panted. The monkeys tilted their heads and started clapping at me. "Cool, standing ovation." Something heavy tackled me and grabbed my head while screeching loudly. Ook rode my shoulders as I stumbled around, trying to find something to knock him off. Then I remembered the fight with Midna, and I threw myself backwards into the ground. Apparently I struck his chin hard since he let go and I had a throbbing headache. The monkey leader held his head and whimpered in confusion, which was just enough time for me to throw the Ordon Shield at him like a frisbee. It smacked him in the forehead and the bug on it twitched in agitation.

Out of breath, I couldn't stop him from jumping me and wrapping his hands around my throat. Strangled by a monkey. What are the odds. My feet kicked wildly as I tried to fend Ook off, but he was a simian born of the forest and had the strength to show for it. Fortunately, something conked him hard in the head and made him let go. He rolled off while clutching his cranium and I found Rose holding the Ordon Shield, and she hopped up and down excitedly as I began laughing.

"What's so funny?" Midna asked as she materialized next to me.

I wiped a tear away and answered, "You helped me."

Midna's eye widened. "N-no, I didn't. You did that all on your own."

With an eyebrow raised, I said, "Midna, I know me. … Boy, do I know me... Ahem, I don't have the strength to hold on to a giant spider while another giant spider is clinging to me while swinging like a freaking Poe Pendulum while trying to─"

"Okay, okay!" The Twilian rolled her eye. "But it was just so you wouldn't get hurt." Her cheeks reddened slightly. "That didn't come... It's just because you're useful for the time being, that's all. Get up before I hit you or something. Remember, that's like, seven now."

"At least we're mowing through this dungeon," I said as I stood up. Of course, being the first one and all isn't a good measure of difficulty... Ook moaned nearby and I noticed the bug on his head was twitching and spasming, so I tried to run over and attack it, but my head was hurting too much for me to walk properly. My feet caught on each other and I fell backwards, but Midna caught me in time. Gripping my sword tightly, I limped over to the head monkey and slid the weapon between Ook's head and his possessor. The bug came off easily and scurried about in a frantic rush to escape, but Rose slammed the Ordon Shield on it. It squealed against the hard oak and the female monkey smushed it again, and again, and again, until the insect finally curled up and darkened.

When it exploded in a poof of black smoke, Ook sat up and looked around. "Cool, mini-boss is down," I said. Rose clapped at her boss and patted his shoulder. They chattered in monkey-speak while gesturing at me and the shield in Rose's hand for a few minutes before Ook stood up. He scratched his head and shrugged in what was most likely an apology. "Don't worry about it. Happens all the time."

"You started it," Midna protested.

I sighed. "That's not what I meant." Out loud, I said, "If this is all taken care of, I need to get going."

Ook shook his head and beckoned for me to follow him as he walked over to the gap in the wall where sunlight was peeking. After taking back my shield and holstering it and my sword, I trailed behind him while drinking some spring water and offered some to Midna, but she declined. The opening led to the ceilingless tunnel where Link would go to find the Kokiri Sword, the rolling boulder replaced by a long pit. Ook climbed the nearby tree and hung upside down from a branch over the pit. Rose followed suit and dangled some distance behind him, and then they both waved at me.

With a groan, I said, "They want me to swing from monkey to monkey to the other side. Perfect."

"You made it from one spider to another," Midna pointed out. "You can do this. Besides, they'll be doing most of the heavy lifting."

"Ha ha ha." I shook my head and jumped for Ook's stretched arms. The monkey grasped my wrists tightly and swung in an arc towards Rose, but when he tried to release me, I forgot to let go of him. We continued to swing back and forth while Ook protested at my weight, and when I finally did let go, I flew backwards right where I started. "Son of a..." I climbed back to my feet and dusted my hands off. "Okay... Take two." I ran forward and leapt into the lead monkey's grasp, and managed to successfully launch off him to Rose and then to the other side. "Did you help with that?"

"Mmm, maybe. You'll never know. Eee hee!"

I rolled my eye and looked to the right where the chest was. It stood on a tree stump like where the Kokiri Sword was before and there seemed to be no obstacle in sight. I approached carefully, mindful of vines and roots on the way, and knelt in front of the chest. It was wider and longer than I expected, looking more like a footlocker than a treasure cache, but there was no lock. The old wood and metal squeaked as I opened it, and I honestly expected it to light up from the inside while fanfare played, but alas. Inside was not the Kokiri Sword, nor a map or compass. It was a bow.

"Wait, what?" I pulled the bow out and held it up. It looked very old but still very sturdy and intact, with dark mottled wood and a tight bowstring, and reached from the top of my head to the curve of my pelvis. There was no quiver or arrows, however, just the bow itself.

"You got a bow," Midna said. She floated beside me in her shadow form and tilted her head at the item. "Well, it'd be useful for hitting things from a distance, I guess... No arrows, though, so it's not gonna be useful in the meantime." The Twilian snapped her fingers and vanished the bow. "I'll keep it with me so that when you do need to use it, you won't have to reach into your satchel all the time."

I nodded and said, "Sounds good. Don't know why the monkeys insisted I have it, but meh." I turned around and rolled my shoulders. "Now we just have to take care of the boss." Walking forward, I returned the way I came with Rose and Ook's help and sighed at the tunnel that would invariably lead to the boss of the dungeon. That was when I noticed the monkeys climbing the trees above, and like in the game, they dangled from each other in the space between my location and the tunnel to create a chain of monkeys. I smiled at them as they swung towards me, steadily building up momentum until they were at an arc suitable for me to reach. After waiting for the chain to swing away, I ran forward and jumped. The bottom monkey grappled my arms and we all swung together, my feet skimming the poisonous water below. The aim was off, so we continued going back and forth while Ook at the top slowly rotated so we were facing the right way. My arms felt like they were going to pop out of their sockets at any moment, but thankfully the bottom monkey released me. I soared into the tunnel and rolled into the wall, striking it backfirst. The monkeys clapped for me as I stood up and took a swig of healing water, and then I shuddered at the dark and gloomy path ahead.

Was I really prepared to face my first boss? As I slowly trudged forward, that question and more echoed in my head. Did I have what it took to take down a giant plant? Would I get out unharmed?

Later on, I would discover that all these questions had the exact same answer: NO.