Ugh... Why does my everything hurt... was my first thought when I awoke. There was a slight aching sensation along my entire body, but it was especially intense at my thighs and all down my left leg. A soothing breeze rolled through my hair, earning a pleasant groan from me when it relieved the heat on my face. Why is my bed so lumpy? I had yet to open my eyes, so I couldn't determine where I was, only that it was warm and humid. Certainly not what I felt in that treehouse, or in my bed on Earth for that matter.

Something cool and damp gently pressed against my forehead, startling me and causing my eyes to try to open. That just made the dim red light beyond my eyelids grow a lot brighter. "Ow..." I moaned when I made to sit up, only for a petite cool hand to press against my collarbone.

"Lie back down," a voice ordered. I obeyed and hissed at the sharp pain in my back from doing so. When I tried to speak, I found that my lips and mouth were so dry and chapped that just opening my mouth hurt. The pain lessened slightly when something wet touched my lips. Water! Blessed, glorious, wet water! I hastily grabbed at the bottle and started to guzzle it down when it went out of reach. "Easy! Easy..." The voice sounded comforting in a condescending way, like the person didn't like helping but knew it had to. "Drink slowly, got it?" I wanted the soothing water so I nodded quickly and waited for it to return. When it did, I managed to take slow, gentle sips as per instruction.

Once I was satisfied, I gasped in relief and was able to mutter, "What happened?" My eyes opened a little to see something pale and glowing nearby.

The something wiped my forehead again and said, "You had a fever. We've been here for three days."

Three days? Fascinating... "I feel like shit."

"You look it, too. Can you move?"

After a few moments of testing my muscles a bit, I managed to sit up and said, "Yeah, barely." My vision cleared and showed we were still in the area we fought Diababa... and won. "Hey, not bad for our first boss fight."

Midna wrung a towel and patted her own forehead with it. "Yeah, not bad at all. Of course, it would have gone better if you weren't so clueless."

"Oh come on, I did an okay job," I protested while reaching into my pocket. "I'm not dead, after all."

Midna glared and threw the towel at me, catching me in the face. "We wasted three days," she hissed. "I could almost feel the Twilight expanding while you were busy napping!"

With a sigh, I pulled out my phone and turned the camera on. "I thought we agreed not to take our tempers out on each other, now get over here so I can take a picture."

"Why would I want to do that?" she asked. "And I'm not taking my temper out on you. You'll know when that happens."

I shrugged and checked myself in the camera feed. I was surprisingly clean for getting poisoned like I was. "I thought it'd be nice to have a memory of this event. It's not every day you kill a giant plant and reclaim an ancient artifact." And it won't be the last.

Midna frowned but eventually nodded. "Fine, you have a point," she grumbled, then walked over to me. It's a good thing there was shade above us or she might have burned or something.

Fighting off a shudder, I said, "You could be a little more enthusiastic. We're a third of the way there."

"Again, true." She moved behind me and leaned slightly over my shoulder, sans Fused Shadow. "There isn't gonna be a super bright light, is there?"

I shook my head and got the camera ready. "Flash is off. Say cheese!" A few seconds later and the second photograph in Hyrule was taken. "Nice smile." It was sincere, she did have a great smile... For the picture, of course.

"Thanks," Midna said as she brushed herself off. "Two things, though: Why would I say 'cheese' and why did you call me 'strange one' before?"

"Oh, heh." I shrugged and put the phone away. "I don't know why we say 'cheese' for pictures. Maybe it's because saying it in my language stretches our faces into smiles. As for the 'strange one', I was quoting a movie."

Midna blinked and stretched her arms. "What's a movie?"

"A play that is recorded and can be watched at any convenient time," I explained. "The quote is from a movie where the main hero is trapped in a deep pit and surrounded by monsters, so this wise man shouts, 'Strange one!' from above and drops the hero's weapon for him."

"I see... Well, that's fascinating, but we've got a schedule to keep." She motioned for me to stand as she donned her helmet. "So get up and let's go."

I sighed and tried to ignore the sore muscles in my legs as I rose to my feet. "I can't have some time to recover?" I asked irritably. What did she want from me? I killed a giant plant, for crying out loud!

Midna glared at me and said, "You've had three days! You've recovered enough, so let's not waste any more time here when we could be looking for the other two!" She then vanished into my shadow, as if that ended the conversation.

"Hey, that's not fair!" I said, then noticed my clothes are all clean and undamaged. "Hey, what happened to my clothes?"

"I guess they're magic," she said in my mind. "Your pants were shredded right after you killed the Twilit Parasite, but they were all repaired and clean when I was about to change them."

My body was aching as I took up my sword and shield and put them in their proper places. "Wait, you were about to change my clothes?"

Midna sighed. "It was a brief moment of weakness and sympathy, get over yourself."

"Fine," I grumbled, then looked around. "Um..."

"What now?"

"How am I going to get out of here?"

Midna popped back out of my shadow and surveyed the area. We were still in the meadow Diababa had inhabited, which meant I would have to climb that really tall tree to get back to Faron Woods. "Oh... good point." She assumed her shadowy form and floated over to near Diababa's resting place. After a moment, she pointed at the ground and a green and black vortex opened up, just like in the game. "I'll get you out of here... I hope..."

Raising a concerned eyebrow, I walked over to the vortex and said, "You don't sound very confident."

She sighed and rubbed her forehead. "I got a power boost from the second Fused Shadow, so I think I can warp you to Faron's Spring, or at least the area with the bathhouse. I just... Look, it's not my specialty, alright?"

"Then what is?"

"None of your business! Are you all done here?"

I took a deep breath, counted to ten, and walked into the vortex. Black light enveloped me and shattered my body into Twilit particles. As before, I felt consciousness in every square at once and saw through a million eyes, breathed through hundreds of noses, and heard through thousands of ears. Before I knew it, I was reassembled in Faron's Spring. Briefly fearing I had been turned backwards like President Skroob in Spaceballs, I checked myself and was relieved when my body was in its proper state.

"Zach..." I turned around to see Faron looking down at me from his loft. "Leave these woods and go to the east, where you will find the land protected by the spirit Eldin. There you will find that which the shadow being seeks... But know that when you set foot beyond the curtains of twilight, you will revert to your beast form, so be prepared."

Once the spirit faded away, I once again turned around to be met by Midna floating in front of me. "Good," she said. "Searching should be much easier now. But... Of course, you know exactly where the Fused Shadow is, don't you?"

I nodded and said, "Eldin Province, Death Mountain specifically."

"It's seriously called 'Death Mountain'?" she asked. "That's not ominous at all."

"It's not as bad as it sounds." I started on my way towards my temporary house. "The worst we need to look out for before we reach the area with the Fused Shadow are the Gorons."

Midna floated beside me in her shadow form and asked, "What's a Goron? Sounds like an insult suitable for you."

I laughed sarcastically and checked my phone for the time. 2:33 PM on a sunny Monday afternoon. "A Goron is a... well, I'm not sure exactly what they are, but they're the inhabitants of Death Mountain. Some kind of rock-animal hybrid or something."

After gathering supplies, I walked into the area with Coro's hut with the intention of going straight for the exit, but unfortunately, that was not to be. "Hey, Guy!" The housekeeper ran up to me and patted my shoulder. "I can't believe it, you're alive! I thought you were done for, guy."

"Zach." I cleared my throat and gently removed his hand. "I was busy clearing the marsh of monsters, and now I'm heading to Eldin Province."

Coro recoiled and said, "You're going there on foot? You can't do that, it'd take you a week!"

I sighed. "Come on, I doubt it would take a week."

"A week?!" Midna screeched. "A week before we can find the next Fused Shadow, are you freaking kidding me?!"

Hiding a flinch behind the act of scratching my neck, I asked, "Do you have a better idea?"

"Well, no," Coro said meekly. "We don't have any horses, we usually wait for a caravan from Kakariko or go with Rusl when he's heading there." He shrugged and smiled at me. "If you can last three days in that stinky marsh, guy─ Zach, then you'll probably do fine out there. Best of luck to you."

I nodded and shook his hand. "Thanks. Take care of yourself. Guy." He laughed pleasantly and went on his way. With that done, I re-prepared to leave Faron Woods and headed for the exit.

"A week with you... I might as well claw my own eyes out right now," Midna grumbled from below.

"You're not my first choice for a partner either," I replied as I went through the gate leading to Hyrule Field. "I'd rather have a teeny little fairy than an obnoxious imp." The threshold of Faron Woods was barely noticeable; it was all forest as far as I could see. In fact, the area looked very similar to that spot in the first Twilight Princess trailer where Link was running through a dark forest.

Midna harrumphed and said, "I'd rather have a tall, handsome Twilian escort than a chunky little boy."

"Shut up, you pestering bloat."

"You shut up, you whimpering dog!"

"Prime cut of Bitch beer!"

"Ungrateful salamander!"

"Lewd, crude, rude bag of prechewed food, dude!"

"Barf-encrusted mud muncher!"

"Sparkly vampire!"

"Vernicious Knid!"

Several hours later...

"You limply-hanging, low-riding sack of horse shit dragged through a hunger factory on hot coals," I said as the sun began to go down.

"Ooh, good one," Midna replied with a laugh. "You... knife-licking, poo-flinging son of shoddy masonry work."

I chuckled and wiped sweat from my brow. "Elongated slutty skirt of influenza and gonorrhea's love child."

"Ouch! Slimy, scaly, scummy scimitar of sliding sculptitudes."

Resting against a tree, I retorted with, "Buck-toothed, snot-faced Druish princess of infidelity and immaculation, born out of wedlock, married a hooker, birthed a jackal, then ate that jackal for dinner."

Midna emerged from my shadow and perched herself on an overhead tree branch. "Er... Damn, I got nothing left."

I raised my arms in triumph and cried, "I win!" I laughed and sat between two roots of the tree. "Wow, that went by fast."

"I know, right?" She sighed and stretched her arms. "We burned through what? Two hours?"

After checking my phone, I said, "Almost four. Wait, I've been walking nonstop for the last four hours?!"

"To be fair, you did take a few sips of spring water along the way," Midna said. "This is as good a place as any to set up camp for the night, anyway."

I nodded and pulled the tent out of my satchel. It was actually just a thick sheet, but it would do. Using some branches as support, I started making the tent but was having some trouble. Namely, I had no idea how to erect a tent like this. I was used to the cheap easy ones you could get at Wal-Mart, sue me. "Err, Midna, could you give me a hand?"

The sound of clapping was not what I wanted to hear. "Bravo! Encore!"

"HA HA ha ha hahaha HA HA ha HA haha hahahahahaha... Shut up!"

Midna chuckled and floated down beside me. "Relax, I was only teasing. Kind of. Eee hee!"

It took the better part of half an hour, but we finally set up camp with the tent and a warm fire nearby. "Well, this is cozy," I said through a yawn. "I'm gonna turn in."

"Hehe, no, you're not," Midna said. She removed her Fused Shadow, summoned my wooden sword, and trotted into the nearby clearing.

I sighed and asked, "Why not?"

She twirled the blade deftly in glowing fingers. "I'll not leave it up to chance for you to improve your swordsmanship. We're gonna be working every night until you can wield that sword decently."

"Come on, Midna," I complained. "I don't know what the big deal is. I did okay with those Bokoblins and Diababa, didn't I?"

Midna rolled her eyes. "You did okay. Emphasis on that last word." She poked my stomach with the sword. "You're not gonna get by on just 'okay'. There'll come a time where I won't be there to bail you out of trouble, and when that time comes, I'd feel comfortable knowing you received the proper instruction." She backflipped and cracked her neck. "Now, show me where you currently are in your training. Pretend you're fighting an enemy."

I decided to just get it over with and started swinging my sword at an imaginary Bokoblin. Some slashes, jabs, and twirls later, I panted and wiped sweat off my brow, then turned to Midna for her input.

"You're making me cry," she said. "That... what in the world was that?"

"Er..."

"You call that fighting? That... UGH!"

"Could you put that into words, master?"

Midna stared at me and poked her wooden sword at my knee. "Don't honor yourself by calling me that. I thought it'd be funny when we first met, I admit, but now it's just creepy. Anyway, ouch." She shook her head and walked up to me, and I'm not gonna lie, it was adorable seeing a teeny little thing with such a serious face. "Your first problem is that you keep closing your eyes even when nothing is coming at you. Having one eye, that may be understandable, but you need to overcome that phobia."

"Got it. And second?"

"Second, stop using that reverse grip. Flipping the blade like that can be handy at times, but it's not a very viable offensive technique. So ditch it." She floated up and patted my shoulder. "Here's the good news: You're fairly light on your feet. You move around a lot, which is good. You just need to be more balanced overall." She moved back and readied her stance. "Now, let's start working on that eye thing."

I almost agreed until I noticed something. "Why are you holding the sword like that?"

Midna frowned and shrugged. "I'm left-handed."

An hour passed before I finally threw down my sword and declared, "I am done! I am exhausted, I am sore, and I just want to eat some dinner and go to sleep!"

"Okay, okay, calm down," Midna said gently. "You were doing great up until... well..."

"Up until you started punching me in the face," I grumbled. It hurt to talk.

She shrugged and held up my phone. "I got carried away. I'm sorry."

"Hey, what are you doing with that?" I asked while reaching for the phone.

Midna leaned away. "I'm gonna listen to music, duh."

I gaped at her and stammered, "Wh-when did you learn how to use that thing?"

"Three days is a long time, Zach." She seemed to know what she was doing as she turned the phone on, went to the Music app, and pressed a song. Immediately, May It Be began playing. "Earth has a very strange sense of music, but it's somewhat interesting. I don't understand any of it, but whatever."

I sighed, wondering when it would end, and changed into some sleeping clothes inside the tent. "Terrific, there's a Twilian girl using my phone and she chose a song that perfectly describes her..."

"What was that?" Midna asked. "This describes me?"

I sighed again and cursed my mumbling. "In a way. It's not specifically about you, but the lyrics are basically a prayer for a traveler to be safe on their dangerous journey."

"That is fitting," she said. "I like this song even more now." The Twilian entered the tent and curled up on one of the two mattresses we took with us. I handed her a soft blanket and wrapped myself in another, slightly less soft blanket. With gentle music playing, we lay apart, both staring up at the ceiling of the tent. "Hey, Zach?"

"Yeah?"

"... What happened to your eye?"

I rolled over so my back was to her. "When I was five, my brother smacked me in the face with a BB gun, a toy weapon. It caused swelling that pinched off the optic nerve of my left eye and made it a dead organ. The doctors decided to remove it to prevent risk of infection, and I've had several fake eyes made ever since."

There was an awkward silence before I felt two small arms wrap around my head from behind. I stiffened instinctively as she said, "I'm sorry that happened to you. I really am."

"Thank you, now please stop doing that."

"I was just trying to be nice." She pulled back and returned to her mattress. "That... that must have been rough, especially at that age."

I nodded and snuggled tighter into my blanket. "It could have been worse," I muttered. "I could have lost both eyes."

"That's true, I guess."

"Look, Midna, my life hasn't exactly been the easiest, especially when compared to a princess like you," I said somewhat harshly. "However, it's not the worst life around. I don't have any allergies, I had a roof over my head, and I didn't have to scrape my way through each day. Not many people can say the same."

The music had taken a lull for a brief moment, and then Midna said, "My people don't have it easy. It's difficult growing crops when there's no natural sunlight or a reliable water source. What water there is must be thoroughly cleaned of bacteria, which turns a cup of water into a tiny puddle. There's no open violence, but our battles are fought with words instead of swords. Corruption runs rampant in the elite upper class and the poor are just struggling to survive."

I closed my eyes and sighed. "I'm sorry I mocked your people, Midna. I'm sorry I mocked you, period."

"Thank you." The Twilian yawned and smacked her lips. "Have a good rest, Zach."

I looked over at her and asked, "Why do you say that?"

She shrugged. "We don't have night or day in the Twilight Realm, so we just say good rest because that's what we're doing anyway."

"Oh. Fair enough." I folded my hands behind my head. "Have a good rest, Midna."

"Good night, Zach."

"No, no, it's called Power Rangers, not Ranchers," I said. It was noon the next day, and we were still in the forest between Faron Woods and Hyrule Field.

"Whatever, it still sounds ridiculous." Midna, of course, was in a poor mood after breakfast that morning, which consisted of dried fruit and some beef jerky. "People running about in brightly colored tights, fighting giant monsters, yelling out stupid sound effects every time they land a punch. That's so unrealistic."

I frowned and ducked under a low tree branch. "Hey, show some respect. It's one of the most popular franchises around and for good reason. What other show has people fighting with dinosaur power with guitars rocking in the background?"

"I'm hungry," she complained. "Zach, why didn't you bring better supplies than that cruddy stuff?"

"I wasn't in charge of that," I said. "Maybe there are berries or something we can eat."

Midna hummed in thought. "That could work. One moment... I think there's a berry bush to your left somewhere."

Sure enough, when I looked left, there was a bush full of ripe red berries. "Ooh, yummy."

"Wait, they may be poisonous."

"I got this." I removed my left gauntlet, rolled up my sleeve, and grabbed some of the berries. "You see, if you crush up a plant and rub it into a spot on your skin, you can tell if it's poisonous by seeing if it leaves a rash. Like so." I squashed the berries and slathered them along my forearm, and then I grinned.

Midna popped out of my shadow and grimaced. "Okay, that may be true... but riddle me this: If it causes a rash, how are you gonna get that stuff off?"

My smile vanished as I looked at my slowly-blistering arm. "... Oh."

Some time later...

"Owww..." The afflicted area was reddish and swollen, and it hurt to move my elbow or wrist since they pulled on the dry skin. The fingers on my opposite hand were similarly affected since they crushed the berries.

"Hush, you brought it on yourself." Midna gently patted my arm down with a damp cloth. "Well, look on the bright side. You were right."

I rolled my eye and said, "Yes, yippee for me. Stupid berries."

The Twilian sighed, her skin slightly glistening with sweat from the heat. "Yes, blame the berries. That'll teach them."

"Grrr," I growled towards the bush. "I blame you."

She chuckled and sprinkled some spring water on the rash. The cracked skin started to repair some of its more serious wounds but it overall stayed red and swollen. "Okay, we learned something else today: Spring water can't really heal rashes very well. You're just gonna have to tough it out."

"I don't wanna."

"Well, I'm sorry, but there's nothing I can do." She continued patting down the area. "If I had chosen to take my studies into healing rather than fighting, I probably could have repaired both this and your fever easily. Twilian magic can heal any wound. Well, almost any."

I raised an eyebrow at her. "What do you mean by that?"

Midna sighed and shook her head. "I'd rather not talk about it," she said. "I'd rather we get going again."

"Alright, fair enough," I said as I got out the map. "Let's see... do you know where north is?"

"What, that little device doesn't have a compass?"

"No, that would require more technology." I rubbed my face and pointed down at Faron Woods. "That's where we left..." My finger traced a path to Kakariko Village. "And that's where we're headed. Eldin's Spring should be just inside the village."

Midna hovered over my shoulder and said, "Should be there, but for all we know, it's over here." She pointed at another spring. "That one feels important, but then again, they're all important."

"Yeah, but Eldin Province is closer," I said. "It'll take less time than trying to get to Lake High-Leia."

"Wait, what did you just say?" She giggled and poked my cheek. "I'm pretty sure it's pronounced High-Lee-Uh."

"How would you know?"

Midna shrugged and said, "I don't, but it doesn't matter, let's go to Eldin Province. As you said, it's closer."

I nodded and put the map away. After wiping my arm down with the towel, sterilizing it with some spring water, and having some jerky and fruit for lunch, we headed off. Through the forest we went, passing the occasional large stone and hollowed tree trunk. Birds chirped overhead and I started humming a dainty little song that caught Midna's attention.

"What's that song?" she asked from below.

I chuckled and replied, "It's called 'The Trail We Blaze', from a movie."

"What songs aren't from movies on Earth? Eh, don't answer that. I wanna listen to it."

With another chuckle, I brought out my phone and scrolled to the designated song. It made the next hour much more fun than it should have been. Even after we got sick of the song, we kept on our way, only stopping to eat, train, and sleep, and then we started over again the next day.

This went on for three more days before we came upon a great hill guarded by rocky walls and a hall of trees. Step after step, I approached the crest and leaned against a tree to catch my breath. It was hot and humid on this day, which annoyed me to no end because the sweat kept dribbling into my eye. Wiping my brow, I sighed and looked over the hill, and then I was entranced by what I saw.

It was so beautiful. Rolling green hills as far as the eye could see, each sculpted from the bosom of Din herself, and mountains to the east that marked our destination. To the west, I could see the Gerudo Mesa and the adjoining Lake Hylia, and in the center of it all, in all its marble majesty, was Hyrule Castle itself.

This was Hyrule, and I was an insignificant dot on the surface of such an incredible world as this. The only mar was the curtain of Twilight that smothered the gorgeous landscape in a hauntingly beautiful permanent sunset.

I cleared my throat and sighed. "Well, we're almost there. Death Mountain is just that way, and Eldin Province is even closer."

Midna nodded beside me and said, "A few more days. It looks like the Twilight hasn't expanded much after all."

"Maybe. Let's get a move on." I started down the hill. "We haven't run into any monsters and I'm starting to get paranoid." After walking for another hour, the afternoon light matched the Twilight almost perfectly. As it was getting dark, Midna emerged from my shadow and joined me in my walk.

"Yeah, I don't know what all the fuss was about," she said. "Maybe beating that plant got the monsters to clear out of this area." I shrugged and sat down on a rock to catch my breath. The terrain was beginning to change from a lush green field to a rocky gravel-filled area, signaling our approach to Eldin Province. "Eesh, these rocks look so jagged. I bet you could cut yourself on one─" She interrupted herself with a squeak. I looked over at her and noticed her cheek was wet.

"Are you crying?" I asked in disbelief.

She glared at me and said, "No! Something hit me in the face, fell right out of the─" Another rain drop fell into her hair. "There it is again!"

I chuckled at her. "It's just rain, Midna. Come on, let's find some shelter." Looking around, I spotted a small cave tucked into the cliff wall of Hyrule Field and headed for it. It was not big enough to allow a tent, but it would keep us dry.

"I've never seen rain before," Midna whispered. "What is it?"

I rolled out our mattresses and offered her a blanket. "It's drops of water that fall from the sky."

She look at me in surprise. "That's water? It-it just falls like that?" When I nodded, she reached out and caught a few droplets in her glowing hand. "It never rains in the Twilight Realm..." She slowly moved out of the cave and removed her helmet, letting her face catch more raindrops. "This feels... nice."

"It's just rain, Midna," I said while I removed my vest and chainmail. I decided two days ago that changing all the way into sleeping clothes was tedious and boring, so I chose to simply lose the more constricting items when I went to bed.

Midna sighed and waved me off. "Leave me alone."

"You're going to be freezing, now come on."

"I said leave me alone, you jerk."

I grit my teeth and yelled, "For fuck's sake, Midna, quit being stupid!"

She popped up next to me and slapped me in the face. "I said leave me alone! You don't ever give me orders or call me stupid! EVER!"

"Or what?" I challenged, angry at the welt on my cheek. "Excuse the hell out of me for trying to help you!"

"I don't need you looking after me, I can and will take care of myself!" She grabbed me with her hair and threw me against the wall of the cave. My head collided with the rock and sent my vision spiraling.

Where the hell did that come from? I asked myself as I sat up. When I tried to drink some spring water, I found that we had run out. "Way to go, Midna."

"Shut up!"

My head throbbed against the shrillness of her voice. "You could have killed me, you know."

Midna rolled her eyes and curled into a ball on her mattress. She shivered slightly but did not complain, nor did I as I laid down on my own bed. "Just leave me alone, okay?"

I sighed, deciding not to bother with the whole mess, and plugged in my headphones to drown out the rain. After about ten minutes, I looked over at Midna to find she had fallen asleep. Asleep, but not warm. She was shivering much more than earlier, so I draped a blanket over her.

Stop making that 'aww' sound! She was cold and I am not totally heartless, you know.